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Raff's Brain

Rob Raffety

Raff’s Brain is my playground for goofy stories, real-life adventures, and experiments in how openness, creativity, and technology can bring people together and improve our lives. Expect Hot Yoga Problems, Riffin’ with Raff, Drive & Jive / Walk & Talk, and various zany side projects that are sometimes cathartic, sometimes ridiculous, and hopefully worth your time.

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23 episodes
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Yesterday · 14 min
Raff's Brain #282: I Survived Two Minutes. She Planked for Hours.
One minute in a plank. Forty-five seconds on the forearms. Thirty more seconds back in plank. Apparently, the reward for finishing a plank is another plank. Fresh from a CorePower C2 class, I’m feeling reasonably good about my core endurance—until I start contemplating DonnaJean Wilde’s extraordinary 2024 world-record plank. What follows is an escalating guessing game, a nostalgic detour through the viral planking craze, and a live consultation with ChatGPT that tests everyone’s patience. This edition of Raff’s Brain: Hot Yoga Problems explores that peculiar feeling of being inspired by human potential while wishing it would stop making your workout look so modest. On the mental workout plan: • How Core Sculpt makes C2 feel almost forgiving • Two minutes and 15 seconds of increasingly personal plankage • The distance between my endurance and a world record • “Chatty, I’ve got to get to work”: fact-checking on the fly • Giving another human her due while nursing my own sore ego Follow Raff’s Brain for more sweaty observations and stream-of-consciousness adventures. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
Monday · 8 min
Raff's Brain #281 - One Oura Ring to Rule My Brain
My Oura Ring has some feedback, and I’d like to unsubscribe. After roughly eleven years of hot yoga, a brutal Monday core sculpt class delivers an uncomfortable realization: my exercise routine might need more variety—and considerably fewer three-pound dumbbells. On this episode of Raff’s Brain: Hot Yoga Problems, I’m wrestling with fitness at 51, an age estimate I take personally, and the possibility that the workout I dread deserves a bigger place in my week. There’s suffering. There’s bargaining. There’s a brief but passionate detour into mashed potatoes and gravy. Inside the episode: An epiphany earned through heavier weights and considerable distress. Questioning what years of hot yoga have—and haven’t—prepared me for. The emotional consequences of letting a tiny ring evaluate my existence. Making room for more strength work and cardio. Appreciating the opportunity to struggle, then showing up again. One ring to rule my brain. Apparently. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
Saturday · 9 min
Raff's Brain #280: HOT YOGA PROBLEMS. Open Your Heart. Close Your Fitness App.
November is gratitude month, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to reject the adult partridge. After another humbling hot yoga class, I assess my progress: heart reluctantly opened, baby partridge retained, headstand monarchy briefly destabilized. Practicing nearly every day apparently doesn’t exempt you from struggling with something you used to crush. Meanwhile, my Oura ring has collected enough data to insult me. Its apparent assessment? Older than advertised. I’m considering whether ignorance comes with a refund policy. Also on the agenda: The public cost of your leisurely crosswalk pace Why my heart would prefer to stay locked down An optional inversion becomes a royal comeback Eagles, crows, and a formal grievance against partridges Working hard and wanting the data to give you a little credit Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058. Namaslay, mofos.
Thursday · 10 min
Raff's Brain #279: Lost My Yoga Spot. Found Another Tangent.
The back corner of a yoga studio is valuable real estate. Rob learns this when another early bird beats him to his favorite spot—and he has to practice acceptance before class even starts. Fresh from another survivable yoga sculpt session, Rob rambles through workout reluctance, a school-bus traffic question, gloriously scrambled mythology, and his lifelong connection to Anthony Michael Hall’s movie characters. Somewhere between The Breakfast Club and Weird Science, a real question emerges: How much of who we are comes from the stories we step into? Also: keeping the fitness streak moving and preparing for a Human Progress podcast conversation about Panic Patrol. On the agenda: Showing up when you really don’t feel like it. Losing the yoga turf war and finding another corner. Traffic questions and an unauthorized mythology rewrite. The movie characters that become models for our own lives. Creative progress, podcast nerves, and gratitude for the people who help. Follow Raff’s Brain for more humor, reflection, and occasionally successful attempts to stay on topic. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
November 3 · 12 min
Raff's Brain #278: My Body Did Yoga. My Brain Had Other Plans.
The soreness showed up. The brain went somewhere else. One day after Yoga Sculpt left him wrecked, Rob Raffety returns for Class 402—and has a suspiciously manageable morning. His body follows the instructor. His mind runs contingency plans for the day, the month, and possibly the rest of his life. On this episode of Raff’s Brain: Hot Yoga Problems, Rob wonders whether an easier-feeling class signals progress, distraction, or an impending appointment with humility. Along the way: a reluctant headstand, an entirely unsolicited grievance against Miss Piggy, and a question that follows him off the mat: how much of the practice depends on actually being present? The episode closes with a nonpartisan Election Day reflection on keeping your balance when the results are outside your control. What’s inside: • The morning after a punishing Sculpt class. • A wandering mind in a working body. • Why enjoying headstands doesn’t mean enjoying every route into one. • Showing up consistently through wildly different workouts. • Voting, perspective, and keeping an even keel. Follow Raff’s Brain for more humor, reflection, and Hot Yoga Problems. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
November 2 · 9 min
Raff's Brain #277: Class 401 - A Hot Yoga Sculpt Reality Check
Last episode, I celebrated 400 CorePower Yoga classes. This episode, class 401 would like a word. A punishing Monday morning Yoga Sculpt session sends me into a sweaty reckoning with Halloween indulgences, insufficient sleep, and the deeply inconvenient fact that experience doesn’t make every workout easier. There are three-pound dumbbells. There is wounded pride. There is an attempt at an inspirational metaphor that probably should have stayed in the car. On the drive home: • Why class 401 felt like a setback after a major milestone • The temptation to compare yourself with everyone in the room • Measuring progress against your former self—and showing up again • Some welcome creative momentum: Panic Patrol earns an invitation to the Human Progress podcast Fitness humbled me. Creativity handed me a little encouragement. We’re keeping both in motion. Explore Panic Patrol: https://PanicPatrolShow.com Follow Raff’s Brain for more Hot Yoga Problems and dispatches from a life of making things and figuring things out. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 31 · 14 min
Raff's Brain #276: HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃! 400 Yoga Classes Later, I Still Can’t Rise from the Dead!
Rob’s 400th CorePower Yoga class begins in corpse pose. Considering what comes next, that feels appropriate. In this Halloween edition of Hot Yoga Problems, Rob celebrates a personal milestone with Frankenstein rises, suspiciously seasonal yoga poses, and a playlist that opens with Beethoven instead of “Thriller.” Between the sweat and the spooky soundtrack, he revisits the work trip that introduced him to CorePower, confesses that his favorite class is usually whichever one fits his schedule, and explains why comparing a yoga studio to McDonald’s is his way of expressing affection. It’s a celebration of showing up—and of the people who make you want to come back. Naturally, there’s also a detour through childhood zombie costumes and the candy cigarettes he’s handing out with unsolicited advice from a non-parent. ON THIS EPISODE: • From an invitation in Minneapolis to 400 CorePower classes. • A Halloween yoga flow with corpses, witches, vampires, and one uncooperative Frankenstein. • The musical choices that made the class memorable. • Convenience, consistency, and appreciation for the instructors. • October nostalgia, trick-or-treat generosity, and creative ambitions for the year ahead. Follow Raff’s Brain for more Hot Yoga Problems and reflections from a brain that apparently doesn’t cool down when class ends. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058. Namaste, mofos!
October 28 · 14 min
Raff's Brain #275: Hot Yoga With Three People and Nowhere to Hide
Three students. One very attentive yoga instructor. Zero opportunities to phone it in. Rob tries a noon hot yoga class and emerges ready to conquer the afternoon. The school bus ahead of him has other plans. This installment of Hot Yoga Problems takes the scenic route through small-class accountability, school-day traffic, and Rob’s proposed book of parenting advice from a middle-aged non-parent. There’s also a prediction-market tangent, some questionable mental math, and a strong case for occasionally ordering a different flavor of life. Come for the yoga. Stay for a 612-month-old man trying to work out how old he is. On the way home: Why fewer classmates can mean a tougher yoga class School buses and Rob’s unsolicited parenting philosophy Pocket-size betting and the appeal of taking risks When measuring age in months becomes a math problem The afternoon lift that comes from breaking a familiar routine Follow Raff’s Brain for more Hot Yoga Problems, comic detours, and everyday experiments in paying attention. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 27 · 14 min
Raff's Brain #274: Three-Pound Weights, Heavy Thoughts - Hot Yoga Problems
Rob Raffety has a December doctor’s appointment to prepare for, three-pound weights to contend with, and absolutely no desire to attend today’s Yoga Sculpt class. He goes anyway. In this episode of Raff’s Brain’s Hot Yoga Problems, Rob reflects on the health wake-up call that pushed him to take fitness more seriously—and the humbling business of making small improvements while everyone around him seems to be crushing it. The ride home takes a few turns: kids biking without a parent in sight, the promise of driverless cars, and a prediction that driving yourself could someday become a bachelor-party activity. But the most revealing turn comes at the end: why does someone so enthusiastic about innovation want to keep his stick shift and resist the medication option his doctor raised? In this episode: • Building consistency when you’re not in the mood • Fitness after 50 and the pressure of an upcoming checkup • Bird dogs, donkey kicks, and very modest dumbbells • Childhood independence and free-range parenting • Imagining a future with less human driving • Recognizing your own resistance to change Follow Raff’s Brain for more humor, reflection, and dispatches from the sweaty end of self-improvement. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 26 · 9 min
Raff's Brain #273: HOT YOGA PROBLEMS! Two Students. Nowhere to Hide.
Two yoga classes. One tired brain. An unnecessary amount of internal debate. Rob arrives at the studio without a reservation and faces a Monday-morning dilemma: C2 or Yoga Sculpt? He chooses Core 2, briefly accuses himself of taking the easy route, and then gets thoroughly corrected by the actual class. With only one other student in the room, slacking off suddenly feels very conspicuous. Also on this edition of Hot Yoga Problems: the motivational power of a no-show fee, the awkwardness of accidentally getting a private lesson, and a passionate defense of the only clock change that ever gave Rob more time at a bar. On the mental itinerary: • Getting to yoga before fully agreeing to be awake. • Choosing a class while arguing with yourself. • Why fewer students can mean more pressure. • The unlimited-membership buffet philosophy. • Daylight saving time, “normal time,” and having no dog in the fight. • A preview of the next Panic Patrol release. Follow Raff’s Brain for more dispatches from a mind that apparently needs a cooldown, too. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 23 · 14 min
Raff's Brain #272: Turning 51: Hot Yoga and the War on Getting Healthy
Fifty-one doesn’t come with much ceremonial significance. I’m celebrating anyway—starting with hot yoga and an honest assessment of the ongoing situation that is me. On this birthday edition of Raff’s Brain, a post-yoga ramble becomes a reflection on getting older, making incremental progress, and appreciating another year of being here. My health gadgets have plenty of feedback. My yoga instructor has suggestions I would prefer to receive as orders. And my attempts at wellness remain a prolonged military engagement. There’s also a newly refreshed RobRaffety.com, a collection of past creative adventures, and plenty I still want to make. Apparently, I’m just getting started. In this episode: • Turning 51 and finding meaning beyond milestone birthdays. • The slow, messy business of improving your health. • Why “do whatever feels right” is dangerous guidance for me. • Health tracking versus actually changing your behavior. • Looking back at a body of creative work—and looking ahead. • A birthday request for the remarkably quiet Raff’s Brain Hotline. Find more of my work at https://RobRaffety.com, and follow Raff’s Brain for more Hot Yoga Problems and whatever else wanders into my head. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 22 · 10 min
Raff's Brain #271: I Took Melatonin. Then I Went to Hot Yoga.
Rob makes it to 6 a.m. hot yoga. His consciousness arrives separately. After taking melatonin the night before, an already sleep-deprived Rob Raffety battles the snooze button, drifts toward sleep mid-pose, and attempts to explain a mermaid stretch with a brain operating on emergency power. Also entering the picture: a birthday health-tracking ring, because apparently his wellness situation needs another witness. Episode 271 of Raff’s Brain is a groggy, funny reflection on ambition, bedtime discipline, and trying to make decisions your future self will appreciate. Today’s future self would appreciate a nap. On the agenda: • The sleep bill for weeks of creative output • The bedroom debate over showing up • Zombie yoga and mermaid-pose confusion • A new ring and hopes for useful health insights • “Future you thanks you”—a motto meets a very tired man Follow Raff’s Brain for more Hot Yoga Problems and candid dispatches from a work in progress. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 19 · 8 min
Raff's Brain #270: Hot Yoga, Cold Mornings & Steelers Anxiety
A Yoga Sculpt class without cardio sounds like a gift. Rob’s lungs would like to dispute that. This week on Hot Yoga Problems, Rob discovers that removing his least favorite part of class doesn’t necessarily improve the experience. Between squats, curls, and whatever “hammer toes” are, a lesson emerges: stop trying to predict the workout and just show up. Plus: chilly mornings, the seasonal return of the Steelers cap, and a fan’s uneasy balance between enjoying a comeback and wondering how far this team can actually go. On Rob’s brain: • A surprisingly cardio-free—and thoroughly exhausting—Yoga Sculpt class • Expectations, gratitude, and showing up anyway • A morning commute with running commentary • Steelers fandom, an inconsistent offense, and playoff ambitions Namaste, my foes. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 17 · 12 min
Raff's Brain #269: Does “I Want Candy” Count as a Halloween Song?
A surprisingly successful hot yoga class leaves Rob Raffety energized, opinionated, and ready to debate whether “I Want Candy” belongs on a Halloween playlist. First, there’s a mystery yoga maneuver he christens the “killer rabbit.” Then an early birthday present introduces the prospect of a smart ring tracking his sleep—and potentially giving his anxieties a dashboard. A discussion of wearable technology somehow produces a Halloween costume called “iPad Face.” Naturally. With 51 approaching, Rob reflects on a month of consistent workouts, pitches spooky yoga music, and shares his enthusiasm for the next round of Panic Patrol experiments. On the commute home: • Showing up for hot yoga, even when the poses get weird • Smart-ring sizing, Fitbit loyalty, and life under observation • “Thriller,” “Monster Mash,” and the Halloween playlist eligibility debate • Birthday energy and creative momentum Send Rob your must-have Halloween yoga song, and follow Raff’s Brain for more Hot Yoga Problems. Explore Panic Patrol: https://PanicPatrolShow.com Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 16 · 12 min
Raff's Brain #268: I Work Harder When the Yoga Teacher Walks By
Rob likes to think he’s an independent adult. Then the yoga instructor walks toward his mat, and suddenly he wants a gold star. Following yesterday’s core-crushing Sculpt class, a quieter Friday session sparks a question: why pay for group exercise when free workouts are everywhere? For Rob, the answer is being in the room. Other people—and the possibility of a well-timed “Good job”—help him hold the pose when he’d happily quit at home. This Hot Yoga Problems episode explores community, accountability, approval-seeking, and the value of knowing what actually gets you moving. With detours through James Brown, Half Moon supremacy, and a deeply unpromising audition for The Martian. On the docket: Showing up sore for Friday yoga The teacher’s-pet reflex that never quite goes away Working harder in a room full of strangers Enjoying praise while building confidence of your own Paying for an environment that helps you follow through Accepting that solo survival on Mars might be a stretch Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 15 · 11 min
Raff's Brain #267: HOT YOGA PROBLEMS - Bear Plank or Bear Claw? I Chose Wrong.
A bear claw is a delicious pastry. A bear plank is an ungodly exercise. Rob would like to register his preference. Today’s Hot Yoga Problems begins with a Yoga Sculpt reckoning: just when Rob thought he was improving, bear plank twists arrived to correct the record. What follows is a sweaty appreciation of cheerful instructors, a detour into squirrel risk management, and a campaign to bring “squirrely” into the next team meeting. Somewhere between the hovering knees and the actuary squirrel, there’s a small victory: he showed up, completed the class, and lived to complain into a microphone. On the docket: A month into Yoga Sculpt—and still getting humbled Bear planks versus bear claws The complicated feelings behind “You can do it!” Rush-hour squirrels and the case for listening to Bob Reclaiming “squirrely” Taking the small W and getting on with Thursday Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 14 · 9 min
Raff's Brain #266: Are My Yoga Instructors Just Making This Up?
The chair is invisible. The pose names are suspicious. The sleep debt is very real. Rob Raffety emerges from hot yoga with questions: What exactly is “bobcat tail”? Why are we doing frog pose three moves into class? And who decided a prayer twist needed a one-legged butt kick? After more than a decade of practice, Rob suspects his instructors may be improvising. Meanwhile, his own questionable decision-making involves late-night creative projects, an endless chorus of “one more render,” and a 4:30 a.m. alarm. A sleep-deprived edition of Hot Yoga Problems about unfamiliar poses, familiar habits, and the difficulty of shutting down a brain that’s having too much fun. On the agenda: • A mysterious pose and a possible hidden-camera conspiracy. • An increasingly unreasonable relationship with chair pose. • The collision between creative flow and basic bedtime arithmetic. • Trying to build better habits just shy of 51. Follow Raff’s Brain for more humor, creative tangents, and life slightly off balance. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 8 · 11 min
Raff's Brain #265: Yoga Sculpt: A Round of Applause for Not Dying
To clap or not to clap? That is the post-yoga question. Rob emerges from another Yoga Sculpt class with sore muscles, a small but encouraging sign of fitness progress, and an etiquette dilemma: when the instructor says “Namaste,” should the room break into applause? He hasn’t joined the clapping contingent. But is everyone celebrating survival, thanking the instructor, or interrupting a perfectly good moment of peace? This Hot Yoga Problems episode of Raff’s Brain follows the sweaty trail from incremental improvement to end-of-class behavior, with customary detours into social media, smart glasses, and funeral arrangements that probably need a second opinion. No definitive ruling on applause. Several questionable ideas about livestreaming. Episode outline: Noticing the first small improvements after weeks of Yoga Sculpt. Comparing the survival mode of Sculpt with quieter yoga practices. Considering who, exactly, the end-of-class applause is for. Defending social connection and taking Meta Ray-Bans much too far. Preparing to keep practicing on an Outer Banks weekend. Follow Raff’s Brain for more observations from the intersection of physical exertion and mental wandering. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 5 · 12 min
Raff's Brain #264: My Hot Yoga Sculpt Form Is a Chiropractor’s Business Plan
Rob doesn’t want to attend 5:30 a.m. yoga sculpt. He certainly doesn’t want to become its instructional model. Fresh from another punishing Monday workout, Rob recounts a potential fire-alarm mishap, the indignity of finishing cardio with burpees, and the unsettling suspicion that a neighboring student is looking to him for proper form. Naturally, this becomes an elaborate theory about spreading bad technique and collecting kickbacks from the chiropractic industry. Episode 264 of Raff’s Brain is a Hot Yoga Problems reminder that showing up counts—even when nobody should be copying what you do once you get there. On the agenda: • Early workouts, reluctant motivation, and respect for the morning regulars • The challenge of following yoga sculpt without glasses • One brief moment of bird-dog confidence • The unintended consequences of looking like you know what you’re doing • An imaginary side hustle for the ethically flexible fitness enthusiast • Slow, steady progress—and wanting a nap before work Follow Raff’s Brain for more humor, reflection, and the occasional hard-earned fitness insight. Nama-slay, mo-fos. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.
October 3 · 24 min
Raff's Brain #263: My First “37th Annual” Block Party | Hot Yoga Problems
One hot yoga class. One hardware store run. One allegedly “37th annual” block party. Rob emerges from Saturday morning yoga with a question about loyalty: does he choose classes for the instructor, or because 8 a.m. fits his schedule? While sorting that out, he remembers an urgent errand — orange tape for the neighborhood block party. This edition of Hot Yoga Problems wanders through fitness memberships, consumer behavior, small-business service, and the simple act of bringing neighbors together. Rob explains how he traded complaints about neighborhood anonymity for flyers, a popcorn machine, and an invitation to hang out in the street. Meanwhile, chair pose remains undefeated. In this episode: • Getting value from an unlimited yoga membership. • Why convenience can outweigh loyalty to a favorite instructor. • The gap between stated and revealed preferences. • Taking initiative to build neighborhood community. • A block party origin story with some creative annual numbering. • A satisfying visit to Cherrydale Hardware. • Gas-price fractions, automotive interruptions, and one last complaint about chair pose. Follow Raff’s Brain for more humor, reflection, and everyday rabbit holes. Call the Raff's Brain Hotline! Pick a topic, make a statement, ask a question! 571-408-8058.

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