Plumbing the Death Star

What Would You Fuse With To Make Your Life Better à la The Fly?

Seth Brundle merged with a particular fly to make the ultimate being, the brundlefly! It's man but with all the strength, athleticism and horniness of a fly! Unfortunately by merging with a particular fly, he also made the opposite of the ultimate being, the brundlefly! It's man but with all the horrible evil and politics of a fly! We here at Plumbing the Death Star with no scientific training, self-preservation or clever ideas think we could do better. Join us as Zammit longs to be dumber and constantly screaming with an appetite for poison, Jacksom becomes fused with a car to live the perfect life and JD makes the best crab based joke of all time. We were a podcast that dreamed we were smart, good looking, handsome, clever and rich. Now that dream is over. Listen now before you too get lost in looking at baboon. Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What Would You Teach at Xaviers School to Make it More Normal? (Live in London)

Zammit is still really sick so we could not record this week. Don't worry though, instead of missing a week we instead present you Plumbing the Death Star Live in London on September 11, 2026. It's the last show of the tour so therefore should be our best yet because we're so good at it after doing 9 shows in 8 cities over the span of 10 days. Please enjoy. Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

What are the Implications of You Are What You Eat? with Adam Carnevale

Zammit is sick and dying so the boys have invited Adam round to figure out the implications of the phrase "you are what you eat" as suggested by CJSTRAW in the discord. Jackson inevitably turns to cannibalism, Duscher wants to know your fandom's 9/11, and Adam is just happy to be there. So grab a spoon, eat your friends and maybe turn into a pickle. Funniest shit i ever saw. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

What Superpower Would You Give to Everyone On Earth?

Another good one suggested by Belt from the Sanspants+ Discord! Sure we've all heard of Planet Hulk, but what if we had other planets with a homogenised super-power? The Boys put on the wishing hat, and with noses bleeding decide to alter humanity and fishmanity in ways that would potentially lead to our ultimate extinction. We attempt to have good experience to give to our memory fishes to cheer them up after all the horrible thoughts we made them have and if fire meat so good why not fire wash arse better than river wash arse? We no trust fire. Fire hot. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

How Would You Use the Dr Dolittle Powers for Financial Gain or Personal Profit? with Chloe Appleby

Your boys are joined by the best they've ever had to try and figure out how we can turn a profit after being cursed with the power to talk to animals. Jackson thinks he's qualified to be a pet therapist specialising in pandas. Zammit just wants to gamble at the tracks before Chloe takes that idea and runs with it an unexpected but simple conclusion and JD wants to use snakes to steal things. So listen in as we creatively kill a cow, cause a farmer to question his life choices and have to ruin an old man's day by giving him some outdated but very sad news. The most important thing you can do to support Chloe is follow her on instagram at @chloeappleby__ on instagram and if you're heading to PAX AUS, make sure you go to her many panels! Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Date if You Were a Superhero?

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (we assume it went well) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 8. It's the last episode of the lock in and the last episode of My Super Ex-Girlfriend Month! While I promise we do maybe answer the question, as it's just a simple problem we can figure out, the majority is mostly spent on bullying Jacksom's food choices after he got icecream. Today's episode really is a masterclass in how to work really hard at the not listening factory. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

Who Would Be the Worst Superhero to Have as a Super Ex-Girlfriend?

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (we assume it went well) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 7. It's My Super Ex-Girlfriend Month at Plumbing the Death Star and we have more questions that need answers based on such a beautiful and beloved film! The boys realise that maybe they're the problem as they start dating the superhero community. JD picks Green Lantern whomst could wreck in lives we cannot comprehend, Zammit chooses Aquaman mostly because he'd feel embarrassed by him and Jackson makes the stakes too high after getting on the apps and replying to a God4M. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

How Would You Handle Having a Super Ex-Girlfriend?

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (we assume it went well) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 6. Are you ready for a beautiful trilogy of episodes based on the 2008 classic My Super Ex-Girlfriend? The movie that hates women? Yes? Perfect. Because it's My Super Ex-Girlfriend Month at Plumbing the Death Star! It's all a bit of fun where everyone is at the top of their game after recording all day and it being so late. There's a lot of discussion around the truly terrifying prospect of having sex with a super-powered individual. Jackson wants to level the playing field by trying to get superpowers, Zammit keeps insisting to be held like a bowling ball and JD really needs to thread the needle during the break-up. Anyways, subscribe to Yung Boy Internet, he's going pro and has heaps of clams to eat. He'd appreciate it. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

How Would You Get Around Breaking Rule 1 and Rule 2 of Fight Club?

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (Tickets available now: sanspantsradio.com/events) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 5. It's really hard to avoid breaking the first two rules of fight club when you want to tell your friends about a cool new club you joined. Especially when you're a young boy 40 and have to answer to your loved ones why you keep showing up with your face looking like passata. We pivot from trying to figure how many lies we can tell before it becomes too suspicious to figuring out fighting strategies to avoid said suspicions. From joining a boxing club that we're bad at, to having a car as a personal trainer, to only getting punched in the top of the head we've figured out how to avoid telling people we're in a fight club without giving away that we're in a fight club. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What's the Best Machine to Have (Like a Time Machine But Not Time)?

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (Tickets available now: sanspantsradio.com/events) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 4. Gustavo TCB asked this on the discord and we were just baffled enough to see where this would go. Jackson insists that his up-and-down-machine is NOT an elevator even though he keeps describing an elevator, Zammit want to make the world clean again by inventing Washing Machine 2 and JD just want to choose how good he'll be at learning that day. Listen in as the boys ask when up stops being up, what happens when they put all their machines to MAX and why you should never give us the option to not engage. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Today's episode sponsored by Omaha Steaks! Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Use the Stolen Jurassic Park Technology for You Own Personal Gain or Profit?

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (Tickets available now: sanspantsradio.com/events) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 3. After somehow acquiring 20 years of scientific research about cloning, genetics and dinosaur genomes, the boys once again make mad science birds, amongst other things. When someone asks if what we've created is alive we answer 'who's asking?' So leave your ethics at the door, we're making billions here! You want to eat a triceratops? Hunt a dumb manosaur? Have an Einstein baby to replace your dead kid that we said we'd clone but just cloned an Einstein baby instead? We can make that happen. We're clever and smart and cannot wait to use all this research to get fat stacks (of cash). Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Today's episode sponsored by Omaha Steaks! Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Tell Your Friends You're in Love With a Computer aka the Her and Real Life Situation of Losers Out There Today?

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (Tickets available now: sanspantsradio.com/events) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 2. Zammit saw Her in the year of our lord 2026 and got a bee in his bonnet that no one except Mr Her's ex-wife was disgusted or outraged that Mr Her was in a relationship with his copy of Windows 95 or whatever. Don't fall in love with a computer, don't have sex with a computer and maybe don't outsource your emotional load to a computer. Avoid artificial wife dot com at all costs and for the love of all that is holy, don't start an illicit affair with my AI assistant. It's weird, strange and I don't need Blubbles distracted by whatever you've got going on you disgusting clanker. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Today's episode sponsored by Omaha Steaks! Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Inevitably Waste Your One Wish Willow

Da Boys are going to the UK for their Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die Tour (Tickets available now: sanspantsradio.com/events) and decided to lock in and record do too many episodes over two days. This is episode 1. Johnny Imperfectalien on the SP+ Discord wanted us to ask today's very important question. So after at least one of us saw Obsession, we figured we're adequately prepared to have a think and posit how we'd inevitably waste our one wish willow because none of us would think. Jackson becomes a burden to his family at 52 and wishes to loophole the One Wish Willow, Zammit wishes he was good at business and JD wishes to go big and confusing. While we might not know wishes, we do know the 2000s film Bedazzled starring Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley, so make sure you include not to have a tiny dick in any and all of your future wishes. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Today's episode sponsored by Omaha Steaks! Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

Plumbing the Death Star Cannot Die UK Tour 2026

Plumbing the Death Star is coming! Coming back to the UK that is! And this time, Zammit's coming! And we want you to come to one of our many, many live shows! So if you want to come, head to our website sanspantsradio.com/events to grab your tickets today! Our website might be on the fritz, be patient. We are sorry for edging you. Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

Which Ray Would Make the Best Ray? with Matt Stewart

Another week another beautiful topic suggested by a beautiful Bad Brain Boys subscriber. This time it's the beautiful Kevin_ whomst wants us to answer the very enigmatic question of which ray is the best ray? Now, did he mean ray as in an x-ray or freeze-ray like something out of a silver age comic that either came from or could have possibly hit a Superman? Or was he thinking of guys named Raymond, had a ponder about which one was good and wanted his three idiot internet friends weigh in? Either way we bought in self-proclaimed ray expert, Matt Stewart to help us answer such a baffling question. We're off to a great start when JD cannot comprehend Kevin_ because he's so full of pizza, Jacksom showcases his best trick by correctly predicts the future, Zammit thinks the most important thing is to show a united front and Matt just wants to ray-tire. It's getting yelled at the podcast as no one listens to each other or pays attention aka a regular episode. Go see Do Go On live in Canada! Go watch Matt's special! Go see ATB and Matt on Tour! Go buy tickets to Plumbing the Death Star live in the UK! And follow Plumbing the Death Star on Instagram for Live Show Updates! Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Today's episode sponsored by Omaha Steaks! Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Curse a Small Sword?

They've cursed a small village, a small town, and maybe even blessed a village, I cant remember. Now they're asking: what if you owned a curaed sword and using it ruined your entire life? That is what the plumbing boys dare to explore on this weeks episode. Duscher makes a sword so floppy it breaks reality, Zammit spends an eternity in Line Realm, and Jackson loses all friction and gets sent to space. Feel free to use any of these curses to wreck your next D&D game. If you dare. Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

Is Being a Toy in Toy Story a Living Hell?

Two out of three of the boys went and saw Toy Story 5 and came out with too many questions. Jackson wants to know what a toy takes pleasure in and if being used for their intended purpose is great for them, Zammit posits that children are like heroin to a toy and then kidnaps toys for a nefarious experiment and JD (rightly) accuses Jackson of being a horrible, disgusting pervert. So gather your toys, enter a realm of imagination and let them experience the pleasure they crave while you experience the joy of a fantasy you crave. It doesn't have to be sexual. We would prefer it if it wasn't. We cannot say the same for Jackson whomst would do unspeakable things to his alive toiler. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

Which Would Be The Worst Animal To Be Werewolf'ed Into?

There's a lot happening in the studio as we attempt to answer the beautiful question put forward by a beautiful listener, Gavbeans. While contemplating the worst animal to get werewolf'ed into the boys get distracted by night swimming, the concept of eating pizza on a boat, if a wasp can make night moves and how come Jackson hasn't had his mouth fingered by a stranger in his sleep. Zammit goes aquatic and gets confused and possibly angered by salt and fresh water animals, JD goes tiny and comes across his biggest hurdle: windows. And Jackson just wants to find somewhere warm and get stuck in the walls. Be weary of flat sheep, avoid getting the chair twice and don't worry about our dog in the pipes. They're just hungry. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

What if Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben Had Lived?

Zammit is sick, enjoy this episode of What If, a monthly bonus show on Bad Brain Boys+, while he heals his ailing body. It's one of the good ones where they answer the question succinctly we reckon, probably? Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How Would You Make One Million Dollars Using Pokemon? with Darcy Smith

The boys are once again joined by their idiot friend Darcy Smith to collectively lower the IQ of the podcast. We don't know what happened on the couch but it's powerful in it's stupidity. A lot of brilliant ideas are thrown out, Zammit wants to make a Chernobyl but good using only Charizards and a "device", Jackson believes the key to success is with Mr Mimes, JD tries to organise a convoluted credit card scam involving famous singers and Darcy just wants to know who owns the moon. Either way, give us 5 stars, kill Darcy in the comments, sign up for a Ditto Only Fans and remember to constantly check your phone for any and all Dogpile updates but go buy it now on steam. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Our Sponsors: * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy