Kids & FamilyParentingEducationSelf-Improvement

Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges

Heather Frazier

Welcome to Pivot Parenting, the podcast designed to help you thrive in the ever-changing landscape of raising teens, tweens and young adults. Hosted by Heather Frazier, a triple-certified life coach and mother of four, this show is your go-to resource for expert advice, practical strategies, and compassionate support.

Each episode dives deep into the complex world of adolescent development, tackling everything from effective communication and setting boundaries to managing emotional turbulence and fostering independence. Heather draws from her extensive experience to offer insights into the latest parenting trends, research-backed methods, and real-life stories that resonate with parents everywhere.

Whether you're struggling with your teen's mood swings, navigating the complexities of social media, or simply looking to strengthen your family bonds, Pivot Parenting provides the tools you need to pivot from frustration and uncertainty to confidence and connection. Our goal is to equip you with the knowledge and skills to not only survive but thrive during these pivotal years.

Join us as we explore topics like building trust with your teens, dealing with peer pressure, helping them with mental illness challenges, understanding the teenage brain, and much more. With a focus on empathy and resilience, Heather guides you through the highs and lows of parenting, helping you find peace of mind and joy in the journey.

Subscribe now and become part of our community of parents who are dedicated to raising happy, healthy, and well-adjusted young adults. Don't miss out on essential parenting wisdom that will empower you to create a nurturing and supportive home environment. Pivot Parenting—because every moment is an opportunity to grow and connect with your kids when you're confident in your parental abilities.

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S1 · E316
October 20 · 22 min
333. The Cornell 7, Accountability, and Teaching our Sons and Daughters
No man (or woman) is an island entire of itself- John Donne There are so many voices right now concerning "the Cornell 7". I want to offer a parent, coach, and womans perspective. My goal is to offer love, levity, and insight to how you and I can make an impact in our homes and communities. This is where we have the most authority to incite change in our nation and world. I will teach you the three levels of awareness in this episode. Most of us are stuck in the firs two, which creates blame, chaos and disfunction in families and society. If we want a world where our kids are genreally safe and they have each others backs, we need to evolve into the third level of accountability. Listen in to see what this looks like. If you would like to discuss how to apply this content in your home, please book a free conversation with me right HERE.
S1 · E332
September 8 · 15 min
332. An Open Letter to the Young Ladies
What do I want my daughter (and yours) to know before she leaves home and becomes an adult? A LOT. In this episode, I'm sharing an open letter to young women heading into college and adulthood. We're talking about self worth, dating, boundaries, friendships, faith, social media, sex, mistakes, and learning to trust yourself. There are so many voices telling young women who to be and how to live. My hope is that this letter reminds them that they don't have to earn their worth, follow every piece of advice they're given, or settle for relationships that make them feel small. You are going to make mistakes. You are going to lose people. You are going to figure things out as you go. And you are still completely lovable, worthy, and good. To better understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
S1 · E331
August 12 · 22 min
331. Follow Your Intuition While Raising Teens
Second guessing yourself as a parent is so common. Your teen tells you everything you're doing wrong. Your parents, friends, or siblings have opinions too. Then there are the parenting books, podcasts, social media accounts, and experts all promising the best way to get your teen to listen, stop lying, be more motivated, do their homework, or finally say "thank you." So you try all the things. Some work. Most don't. And before long you're wondering if you're the problem. It's exhausting. In this episode, we're talking about how to stop second guessing yourself and start trusting yourself again. I'll show you why no expert knows your child better than you do, how to tune out all the voices telling you who you should be as a parent, and how to find the kind of confidence that isn't dependent on your teen's behavior. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, confused, or like you're failing at parenting your teen, this episode will help you come back to what matters most and remind you that the expert you've been looking for has been with you all along. To better understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
S1 · E330
July 28 · 26 min
330. The Anatomy of an Apology
If we're honest, most of us aren't very good at apologizing. Some apologies build trust. Others create more distance. And sometimes the words "I'm sorry" aren't actually about repairing the relationship at all, they're about ending the conversation, controlling how we're perceived, avoiding conflict, or pulling someone back into an unhealthy cycle. In this episode, we're unpacking what makes a sincere apology... sincere. We'll talk about why humans apologize in the first place, how to recognize manipulative apologies, and the anatomy of a healthy apology that actually rebuilds trust with your teen, spouse, adult child, or anyone you love. If you've ever caught yourself saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way," struggled to own your mistakes without defending yourself, or wondered how to teach your kids accountability by example, this episode is for you. Your kids don't need a perfect parent. They need one who knows how to repair. Healthy relationships aren't built by never messing up. They're built by learning how to come back together after we do. If you're raising teens, trying to improve family communication, build emotional intelligence, strengthen trust, or simply become someone who loves a little more like Christ, I think this conversation will give you a whole new way to look at conflict and yourself. To better understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
S1 · E327
July 21 · 37 min
329. How to Talk About Sex in Ways That Help Teens Stay Safe
Once upon many times, a girl told someone she trusted about what had happened to her. How her trust had been broken, how what she didn't want to happen had happened. Things she never wanted to think about again, things that hurt her deeply. and then that trusted person asked her why she didn't scream, why she'd let it get that far, what she'd done to invite such bad behavior. They were so upset they didn't want to believe it could be true... ...and that sweet girl vowed to never tell anyone else again. Never to trust, never to think she mattered. This is the same plot line that far too many of our children have endured. Let's look at why trusted adults don't respond well, how we can educate our kids better, to make these types of situations fewer, and how to repair if we've been that adult that reacted in a less than helpful way. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
S1 · E325
July 17 · 21 min
328. Creating Peace in Our Homes, with Abigail Harper
We say we want peace in our homes. We talk about how our world can find peace, but do we know the best ways to make this happen? Today I have conflict and peace expert Abigail Harper on to discuss the structure we need to learn for lasting peace. She teaches us about collusion, how to recognize our part in the conflict, and how to choose something more peaceful. Abigail is currently developing a college level curriculum that studies the motivation behind hate groups and teaches us the psychologically backed reasons and treatments if our kids are choosing to affiliate with harmful groups and ideologies. Yes! It is possible to have Thanksgiving dinner with folks who disagree politically. Yes! You can have a deep and connected relationship with your kids who left your faith. Yes! You can love family members who choose to dehumanize others- listen in and find the peace you need… then pass it on. xoxo About me guest: Abigail Eve Harper received her undergraduate from BYU-hawaii in intercultural peacebuilding and psychology and just graduated from Drew university with a masters in arts of religion. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
S1 · E322
July 9 · 19 min
327. When our Teens Disappoint Us
Even more than 31 flavors, disapointment is so varied and unavoidable in parenting. They lied. Again Their apprearance is embarrassing They failed a quiz, class or college They are breaking all the rules They don't care about us or their family I've heard too many disapointments to name, but they all have the same foundation, drive the same way of thinking, which yeilds outcomes that parents come to me with to help fix. Today I break it all down for you so that you can find more peace and contentment wherever life finds your parenting right now. Listen in and lets find answers together. xoxo To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
S1 · E326
June 30 · 32 min
326. Why Your Teen Lies To You
*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-(--header-height)" dir="auto" data-turn-id="071daa67-e012-4974-a518-991d65b08fe6" data-turn-id-container="071daa67-e012-4974-a518-991d65b08fe6" data-testid="conversation-turn-9" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn="user"> *]:pointer-events-auto [content-visibility:auto] supports-[content-visibility:auto]:[contain-intrinsic-size:auto_100lvh] R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:dc636fdb-a759-4002-9990-1fbed3831b73-4" data-turn-id-container= "request-WEB:dc636fdb-a759-4002-9990-1fbed3831b73-4" data-testid= "conversation-turn-10" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn= "assistant"> Your teen lies and suddenly your brain is off to the races. Why would they do this? Why can't they just tell me the truth? They know better. How do I stop this? Can I even trust them anymore? And before we know it, the lie starts to mean something much bigger. We wonder if we failed. If they're headed down the wrong path. If this says something terrible about their character… or ours. In this reprise episode of the Pivot Parenting Podcast, I'm revisiting one of my favorite topics because it changes everything: lying. Yep. We're talking about your little lying-McLie-mouth. I'm going to challenge the way most of us think about dishonesty, why teens lie in the first place, what fear and self-protection have to do with it, and why parenting from panic usually backfires. This episode is full of perspective shifts and truth bombs that will help you move from fear and control to curiosity, connection, and influence. Because when we understand the why behind the behavior, we stop parenting from "fix it" energy and start responding in ways that actually work. You may never look at your teen's lying the same way again… and honestly, that could be very good news for both of you. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E325
June 23 · 39 min
325. Seeing Your Teen as a Person, Not a Reflection
*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:30ab3167-5a8e-4b11-b6c0-c9e5c9827bb9-54" data-testid= "conversation-turn-110" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> When you hear "objectification," you probably think of something sexual. But it shows up in parenting more than we realize. It happens when we see our kids as a reflection of us, a measure of our success, or a project to manage instead of a person to understand. And once that shift happens, it becomes easier to justify frustration, control, and disconnection. In this episode, I walk you through the subtle ways this shows up with your teen and how to catch it early. Awareness alone can change everything, but I will also show you exactly how to shift your thinking and your behavior so you can see your child clearly again. This is one of those conversations that, once you see it, you cannot unsee it. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E324
June 16 · 21 min
324. You and Your Teen Are Not Enemies
Humans are wired to look for an enemy. And when things feel hard with your teen, it is easy to turn them into the problem. But that approach quietly creates more distance. In this episode, I revisit one of my most important conversations about what it really looks like to be on the same team as your teen. You will learn how to catch the habit of "us vs them," shift into connection, and respond in ways that actually bring you closer. I will give you simple, practical ways to stay on your teen's side, even when things feel tense, emotional, or off track. Because you and your teen were never meant to be opponents. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E323
June 9 · 40 min
323. Rules and Consequences
This is a reprise episode of "ep. 89 Letter of the Law". I am going to break down the value of rules and consequences in parenting, as well as the application of how to create and follow through with rules and consequences. This is a really common topic with clients and will be very helpful to those struggling with navigating this area where teens tend to give a lot of pushback. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E322
June 2 · 21 min
322. Are You a Good Parent?
This weeks episode is a throw back of ep. 158. I teach you how to know the answer to a common and often painful question: Am I a good parent? It can be a scary thing to consider, but I invite you to have me along as you do. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E321
May 25 · 18 min
321. LOVE is The Strongest Force for Change in Hearts, Homes, and Communities
What if love isn't just sweet and soft? What if it's actually the strongest force for good, for change? In this final episode of my LOVE series, I'm talking about why love changes people in ways pressure, fear, shame, criticism, control, and consequences never can. As parents, partners, and humans, we often try to create change by pushing harder, worrying more, managing outcomes, or protecting ourselves from disappointment. But real, lasting change doesn't usually happen through force—it happens through safety, connection, truth, and love. I'll share why love is not passive, permissive, or weak. Love holds boundaries. Love sees clearly. Love invites growth. And love- especially when it's grounded and mature, has the power to soften hearts, heal relationships, and create transformation in ourselves and the people we care about. This episode ties together everything we've explored in the LOVE series: loving ourselves, loving our teens, emotional regulation, connection, advocacy, flexibility, and showing up differently even when it's hard. Because in the end, love isn't just something we feel. It's something we practice. And it may be the most powerful catalyst for change we have. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E320
May 19 · 25 min
320. Out-of-the-box Ways to Love Your Teen, with Sonia Suthar
"I love you" might not be getting the job done. Most parents believe that saying the words should be enough—but with teenagers, love isn't always received the way we intend it. Sometimes the most powerful ways to show love are the ones we don't naturally think of. In Episode 11 of the Pivot Parenting LOVE series, Sonja Suthar and I explore creative, out-of-the-box ways to love your teen so they actually feel it. We talk about the role of respect, the Four H's of connection, and how to encourage kids to help out around the house without constant tension. In this conversation, you'll learn: Why your teen's behavior usually isn't about you What teens actually hear when we lecture about video games, TikTok, and screen time Small communication shifts that dramatically strengthen connection How to express love in ways your teen can truly receive This episode is full of practical, real-life tools you can start using today to deepen trust, improve communication, and help your teen feel valued and understood. Because when love is expressed in ways teens can actually hear, something powerful happens—they begin to understand just how precious they are to you. About my guest: Sonia is a 19-year-old founder of Cloud 9 focused on helping teens build leadership, emotional intelligence, and entrepreneurial life skills. Through workshops and speaking engagements, she supports young people and their parents in developing confidence, communication, and real-world readiness while strengthening connection at home. You can find Sonia here: cloud9go - instagram www.linkedin.com/in/soniakatara https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVqO3ESJ9fo -TEDX https://www.facebook.com/cloud9go To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E319
May 12 · 30 min
319. Love Your Teen Even When They Make it Hard to Love Them
Why are teens often the hardest on the people who love them most? And how do we keep loving our teens well when they're rude, angry, defensive, disrespectful, or pushing us away? In part 10 of my LOVE series on the Pivot Parenting Podcast, I'm talking about what's really going on underneath "difficult" teen behavior and why so many of us end up escalating instead of helping calm the situation. When emotions run high, it's easy to imitate our teen's energy rather than regulate our own—but that usually creates more distance, not more connection. I'll talk about why teens can become prickly during adolescence, how we can deescalate instead of adding fuel to the fire, and why love is often needed most when our teens are struggling the most. Not because we ignore bad behavior or stop holding boundaries, but because connection is what gives us influence long term. If you're exhausted by conflict, walking on eggshells, or wondering how to love your teen without becoming permissive, this episode will help you show up with more peace, clarity, and emotional strength. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E318
May 5 · 19 min
318. Love Is Advocating for Ourselves, Our Kids, Our Neighbors
Advocating matters. But what matters more is how you model it. Love is the key! Your teen is learning how to speak up, set boundaries, and handle hard situations by watching you. Not just what you say, but how you say it. Emotions matter. In this episode of the Love series, we talk about what it actually looks like to model healthy advocacy in real life. You'll learn: How your behavior teaches your teen to advocate for themselves How advocacy is an expression of love, not control What it looks like to speak up with calm, clarity, and respect How modeling this builds trust, confidence, and connection This is about showing your teen, in real time, how to use their voice so they learn how to use their own. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E317
April 28 · 22 min
317. Love Everyone Involved for Maximum Peace and Connection
Loving people is simple in theory and much harder in real life. Especially when it comes to your ex, your teen's frienemies, or the adults who haven't treated your child well. So the question comes up fast. Why would I love them? In this episode, I walk you through why loving difficult people matters, how it benefits you and your family, and what it actually looks like in real life. You will learn how this approach strengthens your relationship with your teen, reduces conflict, and brings more peace into your home without ignoring what is wrong. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E316
April 21 · 30 min
316. Love Never Hurts (that's expectations, fear, judgement)
If loving your teen feels heavy, confusing, or even painful… this episode will shift that. Love doesn't hurt. But what we think love is? That often does. In this episode, I walk you through what parents mistake for love, how that creates distance, and how to come back to something that actually feels steady and true. You'll walk away with: A better understanding of yourself A deeper way to love your teen A simple 3-step process to feel peace and stay connected, no matter what's happening This is about loving your kids in a way they can actually feel, and that feels better for you too. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E315
April 14 · 31 min
315. Love is Owning When You're Wrong
What if what you're calling failure… isn't failure? When your child's life, or your parenting, doesn't look how you thought it would, it can bring up shame, guilt, and that quiet sense of "I got this wrong." But what if you're not wrong… you're just being invited to grow? In this episode, we talk about how to see clearly without making it mean something about your worth (go back to Episode 311 on self-love), why your teen's struggles are actually part of their path, and how faith looks different when you stop needing everything to go your way. Because they're supposed to struggle. And you're supposed to grow too. (It's kind of the whole point) xoxo To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
S1 · E314
April 7 · 21 min
314. Love Comes From Within
They hug you ...They trash talk you in their texts. They confide in you ...They lie to you. They tell you they love you ...They break your rules. It can feel like a roller coaster—loving them deeply while also feeling hurt, confused, or unsure where you stand. In this episode, I talk about why love can feel so elusive when we misunderstand how it's created—and how understanding the dynamics of love changes everything. Spoiler: love isn't something that the universe sprinkles down on us, beyond our control. If you've ever questioned the love between you and your teen, this will help you see it more clearly and create more of it. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo

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