Pirates: Totalus Rankium

Rob and Jamie

Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium

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21 episodes
Avg 58 min
English

Episodes 21

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Wednesday · 1 hr 3 min
Pirate Round 3
In the 3rd of the 4 rounds, we have Robin Hood Black Bellamy, Pirate King Vane, Gentleman Pirate Bonnet and Grandfather of piracy Avery. It is a round of death. only 2 can go through!
August 5 · 56 min
Pirate Round 2
In the second round Black Bart goes up agianst Howard, Davies and Tew! All very good pirates, but only two can go through. (Thats two, not Tew. but maybe Tew)
July 29 · 58 min
Pirate Round 1
We start the rounds to see who is the best and most piratey pirate around! Blackbeard v Halesy v Bonney v Read! Which 2 will go through?
May 27 · 17 min
The Pirate Rounds - Draw
So we come to the end - and that means one thing! The Pirate Rounds! Let's see who the best pirate of them all is! In this short episode we draw the names.
April 29 · 44 min
30 William Fly
We come to our last pirate! William Fly is often considered the last pirate of the Golden Age. But why Fly? did he do something amazing? Or was he a damp squib.
April 15 · 57 min
29 Francis Spriggs
Ned Low was a bit of a git. But what about his right hand man? Well, probably a git as well. but maybe in a different way? find out!
April 1 · 1 hr 14 min
28 Ned Low
We come to one of the most vicious of all pirates in the golden age. But was this a myth? Was he really that bad? And did he just want to be a lumberjack? Also: Link to Marco's graphic novel mentioned in the episode: https://www.nubes.live/en/product/ammianus-vesper-mundi/?v=813e21682148
March 18 · 1 hr 1 min
27. John Philips
So, we don't get much on John Philips, but we do get a man to talk about him whose family we have come across before! Can you guess who? Can Jamie?
February 25 · 19 min
26 John Evens
His episode is short, but maybe he is a hidden gem? Maybe?
February 25 · 51 min
25 Thomas Anstis
He became a pirate under Howell Davies, he worked with Black Bart - two of the best pirates we have come across. So will Anstis live up to his mentors? Find out!
February 11 · 1 hr 16 min
24 George Lowther
George Lowther may not be the biggest names in pirate history, but he made his mark. He got a chapter in the General History. So let's find out why!
February 3 · 42 min
23.5 Special - Pirate Deception (Intelligent Speech 2025)
Here is the live speech we gave at last year's Intelligent Speech Conference. All about how you have been deceived about pirates! We are keynote speakers this year - tickets are out now! It's on the 28th of Feb, and if you go to intelligentspeechonline.com you can get your tickets. Use the code Rankium to get a discount!
January 28 · 1 hr 27 min
23.2 Black Bart
We cover the rest of the story of Black Bart. The 3rd pirate to get the nickname of "black" in the series. but does he live up to it?
Dec 17, 2025 · 1 hr 10 min
23.1 Black Bart
We come to another pirate with a cool nick name. Two episodes on him, but why? is the pirate we have all been waiting for?
Nov 26, 2025 · 53 min
22 Christopher Condent
It's not a long episode. And his name is not Christopher Condent. But don't let that disturb you - maybe he is great! Maybe?
Nov 12, 2025 · 1 hr 12 min
32 Edward England
This week we look into the life of an Irish pirate called England! We have come across him a couple of times already, but lets see what his story is all about.
Oct 29, 2025 · 50 min
20 Mary Read
We go to the friend of Ann this week. What, if anything, makes her stand out from her partner in crime? Does she have a new and equally probably made up back story? Find out!
Oct 15, 2025 · 1 hr 9 min
19 Ann Bonney
We get to one of the most interesting pirates of the age - Ann Bonny. The pirate world was not kind to women, so how did Ann navigate the tumultuous waters of being a pirate and a woman? Find out! (Oh, and there is a load of fun nonsense from the General History too)
Oct 15, 2025 · 3 min
Exciting Announcement!
Jamie and I will be keynote speakers at next year's Intelligent Speech conference! It is always a great time. Intelligent Speech Online is happening February 28th, 2026. · The theme is Companions and Rivals · Tickets are on sale at intelligentspeechonline.com · Earlybird pricing is available on tickets until December 31st, 2025. · Use discount code Rankium to get a discount! · Your ticket includes access to recorded copies of all presentations of the day, in case you aren’t able to attend live Intelligent Speech is a veritable three ring circus of content, composed of four virtual “rooms” running 40 minute sessions simultaneously. In one of the said rooms, the session consists of a roundtable discussion and Q&A with our hand-selected panellists. In the regular sessions, a fascinating online personality will present a topic of their choice, followed by a lively Q&A with the audience. These Q&As, together with space and time for separate chats, create a unique experience in which members of the community can engage directly with the creators they follow.
Oct 1, 2025 · 1 hr 29 min
18 Jack Rackham
At the end of Vane's episode he was overtaken by his quartermaster. But who was that man? Why was he wearing these clothes, and why are the turtle hunters so buff? Find out!

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