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Pause and Think

Aixa de López & Jackie Darby

Let’s pause and think! Join us for honest conversations about adoption and parenting, as we lament, encourage, give hope and explore our true identity and worth in Christ.

For more information go to: www.whoseami.org

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20 episodes
monthly
Avg 28 min
English

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S3 · E38
October 6 · 27 min· Video
Redeeming the Hard Things: Research, Resilience, and the Power of Belonging
How does God take what was meant for harm and turn it into something used for good? On this episode of Pause and Think, host Aixa connects with Dr. Nicole Wilkie to explore the connection between child welfare, empirical research, and gospel hope. Together, they discuss the transformative power of belonging, the origin of the free Caleb Koala resilience project, and why the pursuit of good science continues to bring comfort and clarity to those serving vulnerable families.
S3 · E37
September 15 · 31 min· Video
Growing Up with 70 Foster Siblings: A Biological Daughter's Story
What is it like to grow up in a family that fostered and adopted more than 70 children? Dr. Nicole Wilkie shares her remarkable story as the biological daughter of foster and adoptive parents. Together with Jackie, she discusses the joys, challenges, grief, purpose, and lifelong lessons that shaped her faith, her family, and her calling to serve vulnerable children around the world.
S3 · E36
August 25 · 21 min· Video
From Silence to Strength: Adult Adoptees Finding Their Voice
Healing isn't a destination—it's a journey best traveled with others. In this episode, Jackie and Aixa reflect on six years of walking alongside adult adoptees in a Spanish-speaking support group spanning Latin America. They discuss why vulnerability matters, how grief becomes a pathway to healing, and the incredible transformation they've witnessed as participants find their voices, share their stories, and experience God's restoring work.
S3 · E35
August 4 · 36 min· Video
The Primal Wound: An Adoption Conversation That Will Stay With You
Why do so many adoptees struggle with rejection, identity, and belonging—even in loving homes? In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, Jackie and licensed therapist Irene Kim discuss the deep emotional impact of adoption, foster care, birth trauma, and healing. A conversation filled with compassion, truth, and hope.
S3 · E34
July 14 · 33 min· Video
Postpartum Healing & the Sacred Calling of Motherhood
In this deeply moving episode of Pause & Think Podcast, the conversation explores the science, soul, and sacred responsibility of motherhood. Joined by Irene Kim, this episode dives into postpartum healing, matrescence, nervous system attachment, foster care, adoption, and the emotional realities mothers carry after birth. Together, they reflect on how community, compassion, and intentional support can help mothers, babies, and families heal, bond, and thrive.
S3 · E33
June 23 · 30 min· Video
"I'd Choose You Again" : The Words Every Adopted Child Needs to Hear
What happens when adoption is celebrated instead of kept secret? Cambria’s story is a moving testimony of openness, healing, and unconditional love. From “gotcha days” to becoming a mother herself, this episode explores the lifelong emotional journey of foster care, adoption and the importance of being fully known and loved.
S3 · E32
June 2 · 21 min· Video
Name Changes: Healing or Harmful?
Adoption often brings new beginnings—but what happens when those beginnings include a new name? Jackie and Aixa have an honest discussion about identity, healing, family belonging, and the spiritual significance of being “called by name.” This conversation offers encouragement for families navigating adoption and reminds us that our truest identity is ultimately found in God.
S3 · E31
May 11 · 38 min· Video
Not an Orphan: Rediscovering Identity Through Adoption and Faith
In this episode of Pause & Think, Jackie Darby sits down with Stephanie Fast to explore adoption, trauma, and the lifelong journey of healing. Together, they unpack powerful truths about parenting, faith, and identity—reminding us that healing is a process, not a quick fix.
S3 · E30
April 21 · 37 min· Video
Abandoned at a Train Station: Stephanie Fast's Story of Survival
Stephanie Fast’s life began with abandonment, uncertainty, and survival on the streets of Korea. In this deeply personal conversation with Jackie Darby, she shares how being left alone at a train station as a young child began a journey that would ultimately transform into a story of faith and redemption. Stephanie discusses her search for identity and why she wrote She Is Mine—a book intended to preserve her legacy for her children and bring awareness to the millions of orphans still waiting for a forever home. Her story is a powerful reminder that even the most broken beginnings can lead to extraordinary purpose.
S3 · E29
March 31 · 29 min· Video
Called to Love Across Cultures: Adoption, Identity, and Raising a Child Between Two Cultures
In this episode of Pause & Think, we sits down with Marlena Smith to discuss what it means to raise an adopted child with roots in two cultures? Marlena reflect on a deeply personal adoption journey shaped by missionary life in Guatemala. Together, they explore what it means to adopt while living in the country you serve, navigating cultural identity, belonging, and faith—both for parents and children. Marlena shares how God led their family to adopt a Guatemalan child while raising biological children overseas, the unexpected twists of a special-needs diagnosis that later changed, and the importance of early intervention, community support, and trust in God’s provision. As their family later transitions back to life in the United States, the conversation turns to preserving culture, language, and identity for a child whose heart belongs to two places. This episode gently wrestles with questions many adoptive, missionary, and third-culture families face: Who am I? Where do I belong? And ultimately—whose am I? It’s an honest, faith-filled conversation about grief, gratitude, intentional parenting, and creating safe spaces for children to process their stories over time.
S3 · E28
February 28 · 29 min· Video
The Sleeping Giant: Rethinking Orphan Care Through the Local Church
In this episode Aixa sits down with longtime friends Chad and Marlena Smith to explore a radically different vision for missions and orphan care. Drawing from their years living in Guatemala and their work with World Orphans, the Smiths share how God reshaped their calling—from working in orphanages to focusing on family preservation and orphan prevention through the local church. Together, they unpack hard truths about global orphanhood, the beauty and complexity of walking humbly with communities, and why the church—especially small, local churches—is uniquely positioned to care for vulnerable children and families. This conversation challenges the “do more” mindset of modern missions and invites listeners into a slower, relational, gospel-centered way of being present with people. If you’ve ever wondered how faith, missions, and justice intersect—or felt overwhelmed by the needs around you—this episode offers hope, clarity, and a powerful reminder: God works through ordinary people who are willing to listen, learn, and love.
S3 · E27
February 15 · 26 min· Video
Choosing Love Daily: An Adoptive Mom's Journey Through Attachment and Grace
In this episode of Pause & Think, Aixa sits down with adoptive mom Kristen Williamson for an honest, mom-to-mom conversation about the realities of adopting older children. Together, they unpack the emotions few people talk about—grief, anger, guilt, unmet expectations, and the slow, difficult work of attachment. Kristen shares her journey of parenting a child from a hard place while already raising biological children, navigating sibling dynamics, jealousy, and deep insecurity. Through faith, prayer, and perseverance, she reflects on how God continually reshapes her heart and reminds her that love is not just a feeling, but a daily decision. This episode is for adoptive and foster moms who feel unseen, overwhelmed, or discouraged—and need the reminder that they are not alone, and that grace grows even in the hardest seasons.
S3 · E26
January 30 · 33 min· Video
Called to Adopt: Trusting God Through the Waiting
In this episode of Pause & Think, host Jackie Darby talks with Kristen Williamson about her family’s faith-filled journey through international adoption. Kristen shares how God placed a calling on her heart, the challenges of a long and uncertain adoption process, and the emotional reality of bringing home an older child from the Philippines. She opens up about trauma, trust, patience, and the beauty that comes from obedience and perseverance. This honest conversation offers encouragement to anyone navigating adoption, waiting seasons, or learning to trust God’s timing. 🎧 Listen in and Pause & Think.
S2 · E25
January 15 · 23 min· Video
Saying Yes: Foster Care, Faith, and the Heart of Advocacy
In this heartfelt episode of Pause & Think, host Jackie Darby sits down once again with advocate and foster mom Caitlyn Baten for an eye-opening conversation on the realities of foster care, adoption, and the generational cycles affecting vulnerable families. Caitlyn shares her family’s journey—how she and her husband stepped into foster care before having biological children, how their faith shaped every “yes,” and the deep conviction that led them to open their home to vulnerable girls. Together, Jackie and Caitlyn unpack: Why foster care is deeply connected to issues like homelessness, trafficking, and mental health The mission of Buckner International and its commitment to strengthening families at the root The realities of youth who age out of foster care—and why the Church must not forget them Practical ways anyone can get involved: mentorship, volunteering, giving, or simply being a safe person The global movement of CAFO and the growing call for believers to step into the lives of vulnerable children and young adults This episode is a powerful reminder that every life matters and that the body of Christ has a role in bringing restoration, stability, and hope to children and families who need it most.
S2 · E24
Dec 31, 2025 · 24 min· Video
The Baten Story: Foster Care, Adoption, and a Faithful God
Tim & Caitlyn Baten join us to discuss the joys and complexities of foster care and adoption — the both/and of grief and beauty. They speak on honoring birth parents, raising children of diverse backgrounds, and what it means to pursue openness with humility, truth, and love. Their testimony highlights the power of community, the role of the church, and how God shows up in ordinary moments — even through formula shortages, meal trains, and handwritten prayers. A heartfelt episode for foster families, future adoptive parents, and anyone wanting to support vulnerable children.
S2 · E23
Dec 15, 2025 · 24 min· Video
Home and Heart: Belonging Beyond Borders in Adoption
Pause & Think, hosts Aixa García and Jackie Darby talk openly about adoption — both international and domestic — and what it really means to belong. Aixa shares her experience as a Guatemalan adoptive mom, while Jackie reflects on her journey as a Korean-born adoptee raised in the U.S. Together, they explore how every adoption story carries both beauty and loss, how identity and race intersect with love, and why acknowledging a child’s roots builds true belonging. From waiting seasons to deep cultural reflections, this episode invites listeners to see adoption as a reflection of God’s heart — a story of redemption, identity, and unconditional love. 💬 “Our identity doesn’t rest on our appearance or birthplace — it rests in our Heavenly Father.”
S2 · E22
Dec 1, 2025 · 22 min· Video
Attached on Purpose: Facing the Hard and Holy in Foster Care
In this moving continuation of Pause & Think, host Aixa García sits down again with José and Sherry Salazar to tackle one of the most common fears about foster care — “I could never do it. I’d get too attached.” With honesty and grace, the Salazars unpack what it means to love deeply, let go faithfully, and depend on God through heartbreak and hope. They share how their children have grown through the beauty and pain of fostering, what it looks like to pray for biological families, and how the global Church can rise to meet the needs of vulnerable children. This episode reminds us that attachment isn’t a weakness — it’s a reflection of God’s heart.
S2 · E21
Nov 15, 2025 · 22 min· Video
Mission as Family: The Salazars' Journey of Faith, Foster Care, and Community
In this heartfelt episode of Pause & Think, host Aixa sits down with José and Sherry Salazar in Guatemala City to explore how God has shaped their family’s story through obedience, sacrifice, and love for the vulnerable. From meeting at an orphanage to welcoming 11 children into their home, the Salazars share how faith guided every “yes” along the way — even when the road was hard. They talk about redefining family, raising biological and foster children side by side, creating space for others at the table, and learning that God’s interruptions are never late. This episode is a beautiful reminder that the Great Commission starts at home and grows through community, courage, and grace.
S2 · E20
Oct 30, 2025 · 24 min· Video
From Foster Child to Adoptive Mom: Kristen Thomas' Incredible Journey
In this inspiring episode of Pause & Think, Kristen Thomas shares her powerful story of transformation—from growing up in foster care to becoming an adoptive mom. Kristen opens up about: 💬 How a “one-night foster placement” turned into a lifelong family through adoption. 💬 Walking alongside her daughter Elise, who overcame challenges with confidence, identity, and autism. 💬 The reality of foster care and adoption—both the struggles and the incredible moments of joy. 💬 Practical encouragement for foster/adoptive parents who may feel weary in the trenches. 💬 How her nonprofit, Tamarisk Community, is creating belonging for youth who have aged out of foster care. Her story is a powerful reminder that God can redeem brokenness, that belonging changes everything, and that every “yes” to love has ripple effects far beyond what we can imagine. 👉 Don’t miss this conversation filled with honesty, laughter, and hope.
S2 · E19
Oct 15, 2025 · 23 min· Video
From Foster Care to Healing: Kristen Thomas' Powerful Story
In this episode of Pause & Think, host Jackie Darby sits down with Kristen Thomas from Raleigh, NC, to share her powerful journey through foster care, kinship care, and aging out of the system. Kristen opens up about the struggles of instability, trauma, and feeling unseen—yet also how faith, community, and resilience helped her find healing and purpose. 👉 Stay tuned for Part 2, where Kristen shares her own adoption story and the journey with her daughter.

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