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Parenting Autism and ADHD

Cliff Kilmister

Parenting Autism and ADHD is a podcast designed to support parents and carers of children with autism, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and other neurodevelopmental challenges, as well as children struggling with school attendance, even if they haven’t yet been diagnosed.

Each episode offers practical guidance on helping your child attend school with less stress, manage meltdowns, and navigate obstacles in the education system.

Through expert advice, real-life stories, and actionable strategies, we aim to empower you to overcome school refusal, sensory sensitivities, and behavioural struggles with confidence.

Our mission is to build a supportive community where parents and carers can connect, share experiences, and access the tools they need for their child’s success, while fostering collaboration between parents and teachers to create a strong, unified support system.

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  • 22 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 44 min
  • English

Episodes 22

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  • #65
    Wednesday · 37 min

    The Great ADHD Myth? Do You Feel Safe?

    In this episode, I unpack why I chose not to watch Channel 4’s The Great ADHD Myth - and why sometimes protecting your peace is more important than having an opinion on everything. I explore the power of attention, anxiety, boundaries, and the reminder from Nikki Masterman that one television programme doesn’t change who we are, what we experience, or the support and protections available to us. This episode is also about why you don’t have to watch something that triggers you, argue with everyone online, or prove that your experience is real. Sometimes the most powerful choice is simply not to give something your attention. Your energy really does go where your attention flows. EPISODE REVEALS ADHD is not a social construct; it’s a daily lived reality that has a massive impact on all aspects of your life. You and the people who know you and your family fully understand that. “The Great ADHD Myth” documentary doesn’t change the reality of ADHD or autism. Nor does it change your legal right to support at work and school. What you watch and share feeds the very narratives you’re resisting. The most powerful response to those that doubt that ADHD exists or constantly criticise how you deal with being neurodiverse and the way society supports you, is to give them nothing- No views, clicks or outrage. You’re allowed to protect your energy; you don’t have to watch programmes that you know will trigger anxiety or shame. Choose to spend your time in higher‑vibration spaces: podcasts, communities and with professionals who validate your experience and help you feel safe, heard, seen and supported. Creating boundaries around media, work and systems are acts of self‑kindness that protect both you and your neurodivergent children. BEST MOMENTS "ADHD is not a social construct. It is a real challenge for individuals in life, and I see it daily with clients, my family, and even within myself.” – Nikki Masterman "Nothing has changed. My ADHD didn't change because of Channel Four releasing a broadcast television programme. You're safe. I'm safe." "Energy flows where attention goes." RESOURCES Niki Masterman´s review of The Great ADHD Myth - https://www.linkedin.com/posts/nikkimasterman_adhd-neurodiversity-inspiredhr-activity-7496197221898457088-WjVf Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #64
    August 19 · 50 min

    Why Traditional Sleep Advice Fails ADHD & Autistic Children with Michelle Cyril

    For neurodivergent families sleep problems are common, but most traditional sleep strategies simply don't work. Today, a paediatric sleep specialist, Michelle Cyril joins me, to explore why sleep can be particularly challenging for autistic and ADHD children, who become adults that struggle with it too. Michelle shares how her own experience led her to combine evidence-based sleep practice with a neuro affirming approach. We explore calming busy brains at bedtime, meeting nighttime sensory needs, demand stacking, bedtime routines, screens, nutrition, and body clocks. Most importantly, we look at ways to make bedtime more predictable, less pressured, and more suited to the individual child. EPISODE REVEALS Identifying a sleep window that works for your child is more useful than following a fixed number, e.g. 8 hours. Compressing your sleep block, so you stay asleep for longer, then, gradually stretching that block out is effective. Bringing joy, laughter, sensory support, and connection into bedtime can help both parent and child become more regulated. Laughter disengages the fight or flight response. Complicated nighttime sleep routines create a sensory nightmare. Simplifying things e.g. showering in the morning, cleaning teeth after eating tea instead of just before bed reduces that burden. Processing the day and planning for tomorrow before bedtime helps to switch the brain off. Screen time is not necessarily a bad thing. But keep screens out of the bedroom. Sleep becomes easier when children learn to recognise tiredness. Consistent wake times and exposure to daylight in the morning helps support the body clock. BEST MOMENTS “Why do so many neurodivergent brains seem to treat bedtime as merely a suggestion, I go to bed and my head hits the pillow, and I'm awake.” “It's about getting into a rhythm rather than a routine.” “Sleep deprivation just ripples and affects so many other things,” “Sometimes just trusting your own instincts as a parent isn't such a bad thing after all.” ABOUT THE GUEST https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk Book a FREE call - https://bit.ly/FREE-Call-MichelleCyril FREE Facebook group - https://bit.ly/NeurodivergentSleepHelp FREE Guide - HELP your autistic and ADHD child switch off their busy brain at bedtime - https://welcome.familysleepspecialist.co.uk/busy-brains-guide RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #63
    August 12 · 1 hr 3 min

    You Can’t Ignore the Senses: Understanding the Hidden Triggers Behind Some ADHD or Autism Meltdowns with Jacki Edry

    Today, I am joined by Jacki Edry, an autism and neurodiversity advocate with more than 40 years of experience. Jacki shares her journey from volunteering with autistic children as a teenager to supporting her own son, whom she recognised as potentially autistic at a very young age. In 2013, Jacki discovered she had a massive brain stem tumour. Her recovery gave her a unique firsthand understanding of sensory processing challenges and how they can affect the way we interpret the world around us. We explore how sensory processing difficulties can affect learning, behaviour, meltdowns and shutdowns - and why these should be understood as communication rather than simply as misbehaviour. Jacki also shares practical ways to support children and adults experiencing sensory and processing challenges, including environmental adjustments, assistive technology and sensory-friendly approaches that can significantly improve quality of life. EPISODE REVEALS · Sometimes what looks like overwhelm is actually a processing problem. If you can´t see or hear properly, the brain can’t take in, filter, organise or make sense of what is going on around you. Making everyday environments confusing, frightening and exhausting. · Visual and auditory processing differences can profoundly change how you experience the world. Lights, movement, background noise and competing voices can make it difficult to understand what’s happening. · Check for visual, auditory and interpretation issues. Many of these issues can be corrected or diminished. Look beyond the diagnosis. · Don´t just stick with the regular tests. A regular hearing test will only pick up whether you can hear the beeps and totally miss the fact there is a delay in the words reaching your brain for interpretation or the inability to pick one voice out from background noise. BEST MOMENTS “You can't argue with the senses.” “A meltdown always always has a reason.” “It doesn't get better just because you know it - because you've been through that situation 1000 times.” “Stimming is not a behaviour. It looks like a behaviour. It's a symptom of a dysregulated system.” “Don't give it a label. Let's figure out how to help.” ABOUT THE GUESTS https://www.jackiedry.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacki-edry-7583346/ Facebook @jackisbooks Irlen syndrome: https://irlen.com/ RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #62
    August 5 · 59 min

    From Anxiety and Depression to a Monk Sandwich and Himalayan Meditation

    Is your child (or you) living with invisible pain - anxiety, overwhelm, thoughts of not wanting to be here? Do you minimise it because “others have it worse,” are you quietly worried what might happen if things keep going as they are? Today I’m joined by Piers Day, anxiety, and suicide‑prevention specialist, who’s spent nearly 30 years working with teens, young adults, and their families. We talk suicidal thinking, ADHD and rejection sensitivity, anxiety loops, labels, medication, Reiki, monks, and Piers shares one tiny daily practice that can literally change everything. This episode could change the way you see anxiety. EPISODE REVEALS · Anxiety is often your mind trying to protect you. But it is easy for it to get stuck in that groove, like a vinyl record, which leaves you very vulnerable. · Suicide leaves a grief that takes far, far longer to heal. · Labels like anxious, depressed, non‑compliant or challenging don’t stay neutral. They can easily turn into negative programmes that your child starts to live up to, instead of a passing state they, like everyone else, occasionally move through. · Swapping the term “he has anxiety” for specific, here‑and‑now language helps to keep things in context e.g. "he’s really worried about his maths test right now" instead of “he has anxiety” That better reflects reality an experience that can change, not a fixed identity. · You can’t change past events, but you can change the way you think about them, what it means to you and, therefore, how it affects you, now. · Simple daily tools are transformative. Examples include finger breathing and creating the perfect affirmation for you. They help to calm overwhelm in virtually any real-world situation. · Asking for help isn’t weakness; it’s the moment things can start to get better. BEST MOMENTS “Your mind has one thing to do, and that is to protect you.” “Anxiety isn't weakness; it's our mind trying to protect us.” “Ask for help.” "We are so immature as human beings when it comes to the power of our mind." ABOUT THE GUEST https://piersday.com/ https://www.suffolkhypnotherapy.co.uk/ Life Talks with Piers Day - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/life-talks-with-piers-day/id1746173210 https://www.thelivinggame.co.uk/ RESOURCES Evas channel: https://youtube.com/shorts/vX4xOtMG95w?si=uqWJ-TF8zzWrRMIS Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #61
    July 29 · 33 min

    Magpie Minds: Collecting, Obsessing and Regulating in Neurodivergent Kids with OCD

    Today we are talking about OCD. For so many of us in neurodivergent families, “OCD” doesn’t look like a TV stereotype. It looks like dishwashers that have to be stacked just so, teddies arranged in invisible themes, and kids who can’t settle until every collection is complete. In this episode I sit down with my daughter Eva to explore our shared “operating system”: my dishwasher rules and Star Trek comic sets, her Builder Bears, dinosaurs and engine-obsessed brain, our two-week Minecraft phases, and the painful lessons of Roblox scams. I unpack what’s really going on underneath these quirks, and how you can start working with, not against, your child’s systems – protecting them online without shame, honouring their rituals without letting them run the house, and using shared special interests as one of the strongest bridges to connection in a neurodivergent family. EPISODE REVEALS Often, OCD acts as a regulating tool; it helps to bring order and control. It is a regulation tool rather than your child being difficult. Joining your child´s world instead of dismissing things as phases can help to bring you closer and gives you a chance to have fun collecting or playing together. Creative outlets are a good way for young people to express themselves, process experiences and regulate their emotions. A calm, peaceful home is not created by “fixing” behaviours, understanding what is going on in your child´s brain and adapting where needed works better, overall. BEST MOMENTS "If that is not done correctly, I can't even look in that drawer, which is weird because I'm quite messy person." "Our family hasn't been trying to fix each other. It's been taking the time to understand, adapt, to empathise, and to connect." "That deeper understanding has strengthened the bond between us, and I genuinely believe it's one of the biggest reasons we're as close as we are today." "It helps me regulate my emotions if I post something sad." RESOURCES Evas channel: https://youtube.com/shorts/vX4xOtMG95w?si=uqWJ-TF8zzWrRMIS Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #60
    July 22 · 50 min

    What the F*ck Do You Do Next? Non‑Violent Resistance (NVR) for Aggression, School Refusal and Violence with Tyler Baldwin

    Is your kid aggressive, disruptive, always getting into trouble? Are they labelled defiant, non-compliant, challenging? Do you dread another phone call from school? Wondering what happened this time. But what if those behaviours aren't the problem at all? Today I'm joined by Tyler Baldwin, a trauma-informed NVR practitioner. We're talking about aggression, school refusal, violence, boundaries, and one simple question: What the f**k do you do if you've ever felt like nothing you've tried is working? This episode could change the way you see your child. EPISODE REVEALS Non‑Violent Resistance (NVR) helps parents, teachers and carers de‑escalate when kids get frustrated and aggressive, without becoming aggressive or violent themselves. You can't control a child's behaviour, but you can control your own presence, your consistency, and your own response. For many neurodivergent kids, the punish‑punish‑punish approach doesn’t work and often makes things worse. Small daily habits change brains. The 1% tweaks you make under pressure in tone, posture, body language and that pause before reacting gradually rewire your patterns and shift your child’s behaviour. Boundaries work when they’re calm, pre‑decided, and consistently followed through, not when they’re shouted in the heat of the moment. Explain things. If someone doesn't understand a rule, they are going to push back. You don’t have to deal with every issue in the moment. Your first job is safety and regulation be that through breathing, stepping away or calming your body. Teaching or consequences can wait until you’re both calm. It’s okay to say, “We’re going to talk about this later,” and come back hours or even days afterwards. The behaviour is still addressed, just at a time when your child is calm enough to really learn. BEST MOMENTS “My role was running an intervention, hopefully getting parents to de-escalate situations as opposed to escalate them, build the relationship, and keep those kids at home as opposed to sending them into care." "If there's one thing that you go into with any interaction, what is the unmet need here, and what can I do about it?" "Regulate yourself first, connect before you correct. Look beyond the behaviour because behaviour is communication. " ABOUT THE GUEST http://www.stay-grounded.co.uk/ RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #59
    July 15 · 41 min

    10 Seemingly Small Things That Drive Autism & ADHD Families Absolutely Mad

    In this light-hearted episode, Eva and me swap our top 10 annoyances: from phones getting blamed for everything and being talked over, to school rules that don’t make sense, “you’re so lazy” comments, and being told off in PE when you’re actually in pain. Along the way we unpack PDA, selective hearing, unclear instructions, bullying over teddy bears, and why drawing in class might be the only way some kids can actually listen. Hopefully, you will find this episode to be a light-hearted and relatable look at life inside a neurodiverse family - where everyone’s a bit annoying, everyone’s a bit sensitive, and love lives right alongside all the eye-rolls. EPISODE REVEALS In a neurodiverse family it is super easy to drive each other crazy loud chewing might drive your autistic son mad because it overwhelms him, while the fact he doesn´t appear to be paying attention when you talk to him is exasperating you. Neurodiverse children often need a bit more of an explanation or to be told something more than once. Vague directions like “just sort it out” and rules that don’t make sense can trigger PDA responses; clarity, detail and collaboration reduce friction. One person drifting off mid conversation can make communication more challenging. Drawing, fidgeting, and looking away can be powerful tools for focus; not making eye contact doesn’t mean a child isn’t listening. A bit of extra understanding and patience really helps to keep the peace and turn home into a safe and nurturing place for everyone. Humour always helps. BEST MOMENTS "Please don´t cancel me for this episode - I felt like I should cut more of this than I actually did." "Selective hearing - If I don't hear the full word, my brain fills in the gaps and makes stuff up." "We're all a little bit annoying. We're all a little bit quirky, and somehow we still love each other, anyway." RESOURCES Eva’s channel: https://youtube.com/shorts/vX4xOtMG95w?si=uqWJ-TF8zzWrRMIS Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #58
    July 8 · 49 min

    When ADHD Meets Addiction: Learning to Step Back from the Edge with Hamish Niven

    An ADHD brain that’s always on the go can easily push you into a life lived on the edge. You work harder, say yes to more and keep sprinting long after your nervous system is done. Trying to slow down naturally fails so you start relying on something else that will put the brakes on for you, something to take the edge off. For my guest Hamish Niven, the host of The Brave Man Project podcast, that was alcohol. Over time, that crutch stop feeling dangerous to him and start feeling normal. Eventually, he found himself doing things like drink driving and thinking that was OK. Together, we explore how neurodivergent brains slide from burnout into self-medication, how masking and late diagnosis feed that cycle, and why shame and judgement only drive it deeper underground. This is a conversation about understanding your wiring, reclaiming your story from shame, and discovering that kindness and self-compassion can be the start of real change. EPISODE REVEALS Your brain is different, not defective. It is not unusual for people with ADHD to experience addiction. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, overworking etc, can all act as a crutch. But…eventually that crutch breaks. To address your addiction, you need to recognise you have it, understand why you are leaning on it and make lifestyle changes, so you no longer need it. Hamish shares practical ways to do this in the episode. Work with your energy, not against it. Shame and self‑attack keep you stuck; curiosity and self‑compassion help you thrive. You’re allowed to design a life, work rhythm, relationships, and support system that actually fits the way you are wired. You are doing all right and change is possible without hating yourself into it. BEST MOMENTS " You cannot solve addiction, you have to change your lifestyle … when you do that, the need for the alcohol, the drugs, the gambling, the overworking, whatever dissipates because you don't need it." "I'm a star trying to fit into a circle. You can't do it. You can bend the pointy bits in, but it doesn't work. It doesn't keep you thriving." “It works, alcohol works. Full stop. It f**ng does. It numbs. It protects you. However, you're leaning on something … it's a crutch, it will break.” ABOUT THE GUEST Podcast: The Brave Man Project - goes live 15th July 2026 https://beacons.ai/hamishniven The Samaritans – Call free – 116 123 RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #57
    July 1 · 31 min

    5 Things Autistic People Do That Others Don’t

    Neurodiverse people aren’t “too sensitive.” Our brains are processing far more than most people´s. In this episode I explore five everyday behaviours often seen in autistic and ADHD people but rarely seen in others - rehearsing conversations, crashing after socialising, being overwhelmed by background noise, forgetting basic needs like food and water, and only realising what was really going on hours or days later. I share how each of these shows up in ADHD vs autism, why they’re often misread as laziness, rudeness, or drama and what’s really happening in your brain and nervous system. This episode will help you to swap shame and self‑blame for understanding and kinder ways of supporting yourself and your children. EPISODE REVEALS Whether you suffer from ADHD, Autism, or both, which is far more common than you think, learning to be kind yourself is the key to coping with the extra issues you have to deal with Replaying conversations in your head is common with ADHD because you are working hard not to forget, blurt or go off track. With autism it is a symptom of carefully using scripting to decode social rules and avoid getting it wrong. Looking fine but crashing immediately after interacting with others is often means ADHD brains have been forcing focus and inhibition, while autistic brains have been masking and analysing every interaction. Background noise wrecks focus. For ADHD minds, attention is drawn to every single sound. That creates full‑body overload. With autism all sounds arrive at once. There is no background noise, every sound has to be processed simultaneously. Forgetting self‑care, eating or drinking is rarely laziness. In ADHD hyperfocus and time blindness pull attention away from the body. While for autistic people interoception often mutes hunger and thirst. Blanking in the moment but suddenly understanding what someone is telling you hours or days later shows up in both ADHD and Autism. BEST MOMENTS "The more you know yourself, the more you understand why you're different, the easier … it gives you another tool in your toolbox to understand who you are." "Replaying conversations afterwards, and the fear of judgement over and over again in your mind. It goes round and round. What could I have done differently. You beat yourself up. This is where the kindness comes in play.” RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR https://www.newmetherapy.com CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #56
    June 24 · 29 min

    What Did Ancient Humans Do at Night (Why Can't I Sleep)

    For so many ADHD brains, nights aren’t restful, they’re busy, creative, and wired. You’re exhausted, your head hits the pillow… but suddenly you’re wide awake, building entire business plans in your mind while the rest of the house is out cold. But that might not mean you’re broken. Ancient human sleep patterns, artificial light, and the hunter–farmer theory explain a lot of what is going on with you. In this episode, I look at how our nervous systems evolved to keep us alive in the dark, why two-phase sleeping may actually be your brain’s default setting, and how modern schedules, school systems and blue light clash with that old wiring. I share several gentle, practical ways to work with your rhythms instead of fighting them, staying calm enough to sleep enough and to be able to lend your child your nervous system when they are too wired to fall asleep. EPISODE REVEALS Around 70–80% of adults with ADHD have sleep problems. Their brains aren’t ready to switch off when the body is tired. For most of human history, people slept in two phases. A first sleep, a wakeful, reflective window in the middle of the night, then a second sleep until dawn. When artificial light is removed our bodies do this naturally. Blue light suppresses melatonin and fragments our sleep, keeping our brains convinced it’s still daytime. Learning calming techniques to trigger sleep helps you to get calm. Allowing you to in turn help your child who is also struggling. What looks like behaviour issues is often a dysregulated nervous system. A brain built for being always on the lookout for sabertoothed tigers rather than for modern life. BEST MOMENTS "We're living in a world where we've got alarm schedules, early starts, school systems. All these things that don't match how some brains actually work, particularly ours." "If you can model the calm, that's going to help you, then, that's going to help your child." EPISODE RESOURCES ADHD Chatter podcast with Dr Shyamal Mashru https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNCL7spFNs Zenn - What Did Ancient Humans Do at Night? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st_Ah6Ykbh4 Insomnia is the most common sleep problem among adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6299464/ https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1528979/full RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #55
    June 17 · 58 min

    From Punishment to Partnership: Positively Parenting Neurodivergent Kids with Lauren O'Carroll

    Let me ask you something uncomfortable. Can we punish neurodiversity out of our kids? If they shout ground them. If they swear, take the phone. If they melt down, raise your voice louder. Will that fix it, or are we trying to discipline a nervous system that's already overwhelmed? Today, I'm joined by Lauren O'Carroll, founder of Positively Parenting, a professional ADHD coach as seen on Channel Five, and an ADHD mum raising neurodivergent children. She works with parents navigating explosive households, emotional dysregulation, and burnout. Today we're taking a deep dive into the problems with the traditional approach to parenting, exploring her framework for what Positively Parenting actually means, and how to shift from punishment to partnership. If your house feels like carnage. If your child is having explosive meltdowns, struggling with emotional regulation, or shutting down completely - this episode is for you. EPISODE REVEALS Build a “second path” in your brain. Regular meditation or mindful walks gradually creates an alternative path in your mind you can follow instead of the one that leads to you getting angry. Regulate yourself first. Treat behaviour as communication, not defiance. Ask “what need is unmet or what skill is missing?” During meltdowns, prioritise safety over stopping. Let the stress cycle complete. Match your child´s intensity, not their behaviour. Empathise with them and acknowledge how they are feeling e.g. say “that really pissed you off” at roughly their energy level. Sometimes space is the therapy. If your child clearly says, “go away,” respect that, step back but stay available. BEST MOMENTS "In order to be a good parent, I had to be regulated, and I just couldn't be, because I was so tired. And I've always struggled with emotional regulation." "You´re not a s**t parent, you have ADHD." "I've come to understand is it's all about nervous system and supporting our nervous systems and supporting each other." ABOUT THE GUEST https://positivelyparenting.co.uk/ https://www.facebook.com/LaurenParentCoach/ https://www.instagram.com/positivelyparentingtogether/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/positivelyparenting/ https://www.tiktok.com/@positivelyparentingloz RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the. He offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #54
    June 10 · 51 min

    Body Doubling, Chunking and Hope: Practical Executive Function Support for Autistic & ADHD Students with Dr Tara Williams

    What happens when your child is doing fine academically, but socially they're drowning? They might understand the material, they can answer the questions, they might even be top of the class, or maybe they're struggling academically because of the environment. Either way, there's an impact, the transitions, the crowds, the shifting expectations, the executive function load. It's building, and slowly you see the cracks, the missed assignments, the shutdown, the avoidance. Today we're unpacking what's really happening when bright autistic and ADHD students suddenly start struggling, and the practical ways we can support them to thrive. I'm joined by Dr. Tara Williams, a specialist in executive functioning support for autistic and ADHD students. We're talking transitions, university pressure, body doubling, chunking, self-advocacy, and why sometimes the difference between shutdown and success is a small structural change most systems overlook. EPISODE REVEALS Bright autistic and ADHD students don’t suddenly go off the rails. Environment matters as much as curriculum: crowds, noise and constant transitions can easily push a child off track. Executive function struggles show up as lost items, missed deadlines and blank screens, not lack of caring. Often, this gets misread as laziness. Body doubling, visual supports, timers and chunking big tasks into tiny steps make starting possible and build confidence over time. Self‑advocacy is a skill, not a switch; parents can offer structured support now and gradually hand over emails, planning, and conversations to their child. Struggling isn’t failure, it’s feedback about what needs to change. BEST MOMENTS "You get school avoidance, depression, then they're not socialising, and they're feeling lonely, but they don't want to go in because they're going to be bullied - there's a spiral effect." "I love body doubling, it really helps." "It's okay just to be you." ABOUT THE GUEST www.innovativecollegiateconsultants.com. Taras's book - The Neurodivergent Student Journey - https://a.co/d/0eEbjOII Instagram: @learningwithdr.tara https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-williams-phd/ https://www.youtube.com/@learningwithDrTara EPISODE RESOURCESFamisafe Parental control App: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR The Mandela effect sci-fi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 Eva: https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT/ CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #53
    June 3 · 35 min

    5 “Normal” Rules Neurodiverse Brains Struggle With (But No One Talks About)

    Neurodiverse people aren’t broken – we’re wired differently. What works for most other people doesn’t always work for us, especially when it comes to getting things done, motivating ourselves and handling stress. In this episode I dive into five common phrases parents that can really backfire with ADHD and autistic kids (and adults): “just try harder,” “be more disciplined,” “break it down into smaller tasks,” “use a planner,” and “stop being dramatic.” I share gentler questions you can ask instead, and ways to respond when your child is overwhelmed rather than “acting up.” This episode offers practical, compassionate alternatives to the rules and phrases most parents are told to rely on to keep their children moving forward in life. EPISODE REVEALS Typical parenting phrases e.g. “try harder, be more disciplined, get organised, stop being dramatic” often land as shame and misunderstanding for neurodiverse kids. Telling someone who is already trying harder than most people to “try harder” is hurtful and very demotivating. For many ADHD brains, “break it down into smaller tasks” and “use a planner” quickly turns into endless over-planning and overwhelm. Nothing actually gets done - simple, messy action beats perfect systems. ADHD brains run on dopamine, not sheer willpower, so building in regular, genuinely enjoyable breaks works far better than slogging away relentlessly at a task. What looks like drama is often a dysregulated nervous system after a day of masking, noise, and pressure. Respond accordingly. Be kind to yourself - you don´t have to fight against your own system. If your child does need support, calm yourself first - you're lending your nervous system to them. BEST MOMENTS "It turns biology into a character flaw." "Working harder in a system that isn't designed for us - this is what your children are going through, and this is why you know they're burning out." "You're not undisciplined, you are working against more friction." "Do not over plan – perfectionism is something we are guilty of." RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #52
    May 27 · 54 min

    Getting Access to The Right Type of Assessment with Lisa Bond

    Today, Cliff welcomes Lisa Bond, who is herself neurodiverse. Lisa is a training, learning and development specialist who has hands on experience of counselling, advocacy, and litigation for neurodiverse families. Lisa works for AYC Psychology who offer a range of neurodiverse assessment services and is the founder of Impact Training. She lives in a Rainbow house of neurodiversity she and her son have ADHD, and her two daughters have autism. Together, they discuss whether the NHS or private assessment route is best, what a good assessment should look like and how to get one. They also cover why flexibility and providing choices works better than ultimatums, the positive role humour can play in neurodiverse households and tips to help you to navigate family life and the assessment process. EPISODE REVEALS If you choose to seek a private consultation, make sure they are properly qualified, use standardised assessments, proper equipment and are following NICE guidelines. If someone hesitates when you ask about their qualifications, that is a big red flag. Offering someone with neurodiversity a choice rather than an ultimatum usually leads to better outcomes. If your child is coming home exhausted, recognise that as a sign your child is masking. They are not coping despite appearing to do so to their teachers. The equality act is very clear that you do not need a diagnosis to get adjustments put in place. But realistically you will struggle to make that happen. Be kind – to yourself, your kids, and the people around you, including those you are seeking support from. BEST MOMENTS "Nobody would go private if the NHS were providing what we needed." "Look at the Google reviews. It is important that you get a really good assessment." "If you can understand the why….you can look at the right techniques." "You are processing on a different operating system. The whole world´s on a MAC and we´re on a I don´t know what this operating system is." EPISODE RESOURCES www.psychologyassessmentservices.co.uk www.impacttrainers.co.uk CLIFF´S SOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR The Mandela effect scifi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #51
    May 20 · 1 hr 1 min

    Beyond Parental Controls: Raising Porn-Literate, Neurodivergent Kids in a Digital World with Cath Hakanson

    When it comes to sex and porn, many of us feel it’s “wrong” to talk to our kids – especially if they’re autistic, ADHD or highly sensitive. But if we don’t talk, the internet will, and it won’t explain the difference between entertainment and reality, or help them process what they’ve seen. Today I’m joined again by sex educator Cath Hakanson to explore how to have calm, age-appropriate conversations about porn, consent and online safety. We unpack why parental controls are only a first step, how porn shapes expectations of bodies and relationships, and how to support neurodivergent children who may be easily overwhelmed or confused by what they encounter online. EPISODE REVEALS Silence leaves the internet to do the educating about sex and porn - a very dangerous teacher, especially for sensitive, neurodivergent children. Parental control tools can delay exposure, but kids easily bypass them – so, honest, ongoing conversations are still essential. Neurodivergent children often need clear, concrete explanations, including what “counts” as porn, so they know when to tell you. The biggest risk with porn is its messaging about bodies, consent, gender and what “normal” sex looks like. Scare tactics can shut kids down, especially autistic and anxious teens; calm, shame-free dialogue keeps communication open. It’s okay for kids, and parents, to make mistakes online - what matters is that they feel safe enough to come to you if something goes wrong. BEST MOMENTS "We can't expect kids to make safe decisions about porn when they're uninformed." "It's not the porn that's the problem. It's the messaging that they get from porn." "Curiosity is a part of development." "You can't scare kids into safety, and you can't avoid your way into protection." Cath Hakanson https://sexedrescue.com/ email at cath@sexedrescue.com https://www.facebook.com/cathhakanson Previous episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/raising-neurodivergent-teens-in-a-sexualised-world/id1810681675?i=1000754576822 RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR The Mandela effect sci-fi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 Eva – InspireWithUs- https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT/ CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #50
    May 13 · 51 min

    Tag‑Teaming Meltdowns & Mess: Real‑Life ADHD Family Strategies That Actually Help

    I’m celebrating the 50th episode with two very special guests – my daughter Eva and my wife. This is an honest, funny, and tender look inside our “neuro-spicy” family life. We talk about the everyday chaos of ADHD and autism (spills, mess, time blindness, zoning out), how we tag-team as parents when emotions run high, and how we turn things like bike crashes and Roblox scams into gentle safety lessons. We also explore the strengths that come with neurodivergence, including creativity, hyperfocus, and compassion. We share how we are building a family culture that aims for “working on it together” rather than perfection. EPISODE REVEALS Living with “neuro‑spicy” kids and adults is messy and loud and that’s not a failure. Accepting things are not perfect and taking joy and laughter from situations really helps. Tag‑teaming dysregulated moments lets one adult step away, reset and come back calm while the other holds space for their child. When things go wrong, look at them as powerful teaching moments. Time blindness is real; externalising time with timers, shows, reminders, and ADHD‑friendly apps supports everyone more than nagging does. Neuro‑divergent minds have huge strengths. Including creativity, great spatial design and hyperfocus for tasks that are related to something that sparks genuine interest. Being honest about diagnoses, sharing information and doing your own research turns the whole family into a problem‑solving team instead of opponents. BEST MOMENTS "I don't know how you do it, but you meant to have a shower in the bath, not in the bathroom. It´s like a swimming pool after you." "Sometimes it's funny - whizzy brained, constantly going, it's just chaos sometimes." "Just go easy on your kids … if your child's got ADHD or autism, don't just shout at them.” "We are still work in progress. That is my parting words for you guys. Don't be too hard on you." RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR The Mandela effect sci-fi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 Eva – InspireWithUs- https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT/ CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #49
    May 6 · 50 min

    Embrace Your Inner Coach: Learning to Tap Into Your Winning Spirit with Tom Mitchell

    Today's guest shouldn't be here - and that's exactly why this episode matters. He felt like an impostor talking about neurodiversity because this isn't his specialty. But this isn't about labels or limitations. It's about what we can become in spite of them. Think about the last time you argued with yourself. That voice that says not good enough, don't mess this up. Today we're meeting it head on and learning how to answer it. Tom Mitchell spent 14 years with the Golden State Warriors as team psychologist, co-authored a bestselling book with Joe Montana, and helped elite athletes compete under pressure. He believes you already have a coach inside you. The question is — which voice is winning? EPISODE REVEALS Even high achievers beat themselves up. When anxiety or the ‘mind bully’ takes over, don’t pretend it’s not there. Notice it, move your body, talk to yourself differently, and remember that the wiser, steadier part of you is bigger than your mind bully that has temporarily taken control. You can’t argue neurodivergent anxiety away, but you can honour the fear, while also bringing attention back to what’s working. Your inner coach needs to talk to you as if you were a beloved friend or child. Pressure and fear don’t have to crush you. When you befriend them, they become fuel to step up rather than spiral down. Feedback hurts more when you live with rejection sensitivity but treating it as data for growth rather than proof that you’re broken transforms everything. Mistakes and missteps are not signs you’ve failed at life; they are simply a part of the dance in your parenting, performance, and neurodivergent journeys. BEST MOMENTS "Train yourself to catch yourself." "Sometimes the winning spirit isn't about talent. It's about refusing to let the wrong voice win." Tom Mitchell, Ph.D. – resources: Embrace Your Inner coach- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Embrace-Your-Inner-Coach-Strategies-ebook/dp/B0G362FDBD Winning Spirit with Joe Montana https://www.amazon.co.uk/Winning-Spirit-Principles-Performance-Excellence-ebook/dp/B06Y3XR1SN website: www.mvpperformance.com RESOURCES The Mandela Effect : https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mandela-Effect-Mind-Bending-Thriller-Multiverse-ebook/dp/B0DMPPDKV7 Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you - https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #48
    April 29 · 25 min

    When Your Child Won’t Get Out of Bed: Anxiety, Avoidance, and the CALM Reset

    Does your child “just not get out of bed” for school? Maybe mornings dissolve into stand‑offs, shouting, threats of consequences… and yet nothing changes. You’re exhausted, they’re shut down, and everyone keeps telling you it’s “behaviour,” “laziness,” or “bad parenting.” In this solo episode, Cliff gently pulls back the curtain on what’s really happening for many autistic, ADHD, and otherwise neurodivergent kids whose bodies simply can’t face the noise, crowds, and pressure of the school day. He explains why anxiety doesn’t always look like anxiety – it can look like refusal, silence, avoidance, or disappearing under the duvet – and why shouting only pushes them further into shutdown. Then, explains how his CALM approach breaks the negative cycle, helping your child and you. EPISODE REVEALS • What looks like won’t get up or lazy can actually be a child overwhelmed by sensory overload and anxiety. • Shouting at a shut down child doesn´t work. It simply adds to the overload. • What looks like refusal is quite possibly your child protecting themselves. Pausing and asking what they are protecting themselves from and using Cliff´s CALM method helps you to identify how to help your child. • Calm yourself first, acknowledge what’s happening, lower the pressure and model safety, then later reset with reflection, empathy, and conversation when the child’s system is ready. • Being empathetic and genuinely listening greatly improves communication, which is crucial. • Being soft and persistent as a parent can be more powerful and transformative than force or harshness. BEST MOMENTS "To the parent that doesn't know about this stuff, it can look like behaviour." "Is shouting actually helping, is it working?" "Empathise – that means listening." "Stay calm and be soft - It sounds like a weakness (but isn´t)." RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CALM reset episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/calm-first-reset-later-supporting-anxious-neurodivergent/id1810681675?i=1000762975674 The Tao Te Ching - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tao-Ching-Classics-Lao-Tzu/dp/014044131X CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body doubling and step by step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #47
    April 22 · 26 min

    Calm First, Reset Later: Supporting Anxious, Neurodivergent Kids After School

    Does your child come home from school, barely say a word, and vanish into their room? Maybe you get a grunt, “What’s for dinner?” and suddenly the whole house flips - doors slam, voices rise, and you’re wondering, “How did we get here again?” Most people will tell you it’s screen time, hormones, or “just teenagers.” But what if it’s not a behaviour problem at all—what if it’s anxiety and overload, especially for autistic, ADHD, and otherwise neurodivergent kids? Cliff unpacks what’s really going on after a long day of masking, noise, and social pressure, and shares his simple but powerful Calm–Reset framework. You’ll learn how to stop chasing behaviour, reset the environment, and become the calm nervous system your child can borrow from ,so there’s less conflict, fewer shutdowns, and more genuine connection, when they walk through the door. EPISODE REVEALS An after‑school “attitude problem” is often a nervous system at capacity from masking, noise, rules, and social pressure all day. Regulation starts with the adult: CALM (Calm yourself, Acknowledge them, Lower pressure, Model safety) lets your child borrow your nervous system instead of your words. Cliff shares practical ways to do this. RESET (Reflect, Exhale, Slow it down, Talk later) - Don’t try to teach in the heat of a meltdown - strike when the iron is cold. Cliff explains how to do this. Shifting from fixing your child to leading the environment reduces shutdowns and aggression and creates space for genuine connection. Simple, consistent signals e.g. how they walk up the drive, whether they go straight to their room first can alert you to how they are feeling. BEST MOMENTS “You don't fix the child. You change the state around them.” “Your child doesn't learn calm from what you say. They learn it from what they experience. They borrow your calm.” “Don't chase the behaviours, calm first - you first, then reset them later.” “We're not fixing, we're not correcting, we're resetting the moment, allowing them time and space, and letting them know that we understand.” RESOURCES What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR FamiSafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

  • #46
    April 15 · 40 min

    What Neurodiverse Kids Really Think About a Social Media Ban

    In this episode, Cliff and his daughter Eva have a candid, unfiltered conversation about the proposed UK social media ban for under‑16s. They explore how platforms like YouTube and gaming chats help many autistic and ADHD kids regulate, connect and unwind – and why a blanket ban could do more harm than good. Eva shares why she and many of her friends and classmates who are also neuro-divergent and under 16 have mixed feelings about the proposed ban. Cliff digs into the risks of digital IDs and face verification, while both emphasise that real online safety comes from informed, involved parenting, not one‑size‑fits‑all government control. EPISODE REVEALS For many neurodivergent kids, social media is a core regulation tool. Often, it´s how they decompress, connect and create predictable background noise after hard days. Sudden removal of access to platforms kids social on risks emotional “crash” and withdrawal. A blanket ban cuts off access to a source of music, educational videos and fun content as well as potentially harmful content. Tough love around tech - consistent limits, bedtimes, and content guidance - can feel harsh in the moment, yet over time children often reinterpret it as care and safety. Monitoring tools help a lot, but they don´t catch everything and are not a replacement for a strong relationship and open conversations with your child. Digital ID requirements and face verification raise serious concerns about privacy, data security and future social‑credit‑style control, especially when normalised for children. BEST MOMENTS "At the end of the day, this isn't the government's job, is it? It's ours." "Yes, it's going to be difficult, but you've got the tools. You've got, then the knowledge what's going on with your child." "Social media is how most people my age, possibly younger, connect with each other." "It's not going to help that you kids have grown up with this, and then suddenly it's cut away. So, there's going to be withdrawal symptoms." EPISODE RESOURCES FamiSafe: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

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