Loving Each of My Kids Well (When They All Need Something Different)
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How do you love your children well when every one of them seems to need something completely different from you?
In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal explores one of the most common tensions in motherhood: the desire to make sure each child feels deeply loved, seen, and secure, even when their personalities, needs, struggles, and seasons of life look nothing alike.
Drawing from her own experience parenting four very different children, including sharing the adoption story of her daughter Joy, Scarlet reflects on the unique challenges and unexpected gifts that come with loving children individually rather than identically. From navigating a wide age gap between siblings to understanding different temperaments, emotional needs, and life experiences, she discusses the pressure many moms feel to keep everything equal, and why equal isn't always the same as loving well.
At the heart of this conversation is a beautiful gospel truth: God Himself does not interact with every one of His children in exactly the same way. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who knows people personally, pursues them individually, and meets them in the unique circumstances of their lives. He is not a generic Father offering generic love. He is a deeply personal God who sees, knows, and cares for each of His children completely.
This episode is also a reminder that our children's deepest security will never come from having perfectly balanced parents or perfectly equal circumstances. Their security comes from knowing they are fully known and fully loved by God. While we will inevitably fall short, the good news of the gospel is that our children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who consistently point them to the only perfect Father.
Today's Scripture Focus:
Psalm 139
A special thank you to Scarlet's 13-year-old daughter, Joy, for joining this week's Messy Mom Moment. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.
00:00
Introduction and Episode Overview
19:17
The Beauty of Individual Love in Family Dynamics
21:15
Understanding God's Personal Love for Us
23:32
Biblical Examples of Tailored Love
25:42
Practical Steps for Unique Parenting
27:30
Closing Thoughts and Encouragement
Resources:
Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
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