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Other Peoples Parenting

Schuyler Hurwitz and Karen Quinn

'Other People's Parenting' is hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of early childhood education companies Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent). They read contemporary, classic, and controversial parenting books and give you the gist with a sense of humor, so you can implement the methods or just be able to discuss them at school functions.

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  • 28 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 57 min
  • English

Episodes 28

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  • S2 · E15
    Wednesday · 59 min· Video

    Grit: Is Your Child's Grit Score High Enough for The Ivies?

    In Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, psychologist Angela Duckworth argues that long-term success and high achievement depend far more on a combination of deep passion and steady perseverance—which she calls "grit"—than on innate talent or natural intelligence. In this podcast episode about Duckworth’s book, Grit, we answer these questions and more: · Can grit be measured? With Duckworth’s grit scale, we learn that it effectively predicted who would make it through West Point’s “Beast” training program and who would go furthest in the National Spelling Bee competition. · Is there a formula for grit? Angela Duckworth says that that effort amplifies talent (talent × effort = skill; skill × effort = achievement) and that deliberate practice, focused feedback, and daily practice are essential. · What psychological elements are important for developing grit? We discover that these are interest, practice, purpose, and hope and how they develop in sequence. · What can parents do to develop grit in our children? Angela Duckworth recommends parents provide warm but demanding support, require a chosen “hard thing” with sustained commitment, allow natural consequences rather than endless lectures, limit distractions, and foster extracurriculars that permit growth over years. · Is grit in children genetic or environmental? According to the book, Grit, Perseverance is appx. 37% genetic and passion is 20%. Many genes explain both qualities. · What is Warren Buffet’s test for prioritizing career goals that Angela Duckworth shares? write down 25 career goals. Then soul search and circle the 5 highest priorities. Avoid the other 20 at all costs – they’ll just distract you. · How do colleges factor grit into their decisions to accept or reject students? Colleges look for students who participate in 2 different high school extracurricular activities for at least 2 years each and who advanced in some way in each activity. · What psychological factors besides grit determine success? Angela Duckworth says that grit isn’t the only psychological factor. We also need intelligence, talent, conscientiousness, self-control, imagination and more. But grit is significant for the achievement of excellence, which is why she wrote a whole book about it. We conclude that cultivating grit builds both higher achievement and greater psychological resilience, and that these principles are practical for families to apply. Takeaways: We learned that sustained passion combined with steady perseverance predicts long term success more than raw talent. We saw that deliberate practice, with clear goals, focused effort, and immediate feedback, builds real skill. We found that extracurricular commitment for at least two years shows growth and improves college prospects later. We noticed that parenting that is both warm and demanding fosters grit better than either extreme alone. We learned practical steps for parents such as enforcing consequences, limiting phone use, and allowing children to struggle. We understood that passion means endurance and long term commitment rather than short lived enthusiasm or fleeting interest. We were reminded that grit can grow through culture, mentors, and repeated challenge, but balance with quitting sometimes.

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  • S2 · E14
    October 14 · 1 hr 5 min· Video

    Gifted and Talented Programs - Should Your Child Attend One?

    In this episode we explore gifted and talented programs and the need for fair, accurate identification of students, and sustained support. We read articles that both support and question the value of G&T or GATE programs. Some of the questions addressed in this episode include: How fair are the tests children take to qualify for gifted programs? Are there racial and socioeconomic disparities in access to GT programs? What equity problems exist with gifted programs? What qualities should schools consider when determining access to gifted programs? Test scores? Academic aptitude? Creative thinking? Leadershipm abilities? Aptitude in the arts? Do IQ scores change over time? Are there biases in the tests students take to qualify for gifted programs? Do children in gifted classrooms get a better education than children in general education classrooms? Is there a downside to labeling a child as “gifted?” Should you tell your gifted child that they are gifted? Are gifted children usually high achievers? Does being gifted translate to career and life success? How can more children get access to gifted programs? In this episode, we discuss how being labeled gifted can become a fragile identity that reduces curiosity and discourages persistence in some chidlren. We recommend universal screening, multiple objective measures, improved teacher training, and rebranding programs as advanced learner programs to reduce stigma and broaden access. We think that schools should provide appropriately paced, challenging instruction while teaching children that effort and curiosity matter more than innate labels. We conclude that by saying that preserving and improving programs for advanced learners rather than eliminating them best serves individual students and the wider society. Articles we Read: The Mirage of the Gifted Child, Katie Arnold-Batliff, NY Magazine I was Enrolled in a ‘Gifted’ Program as a Kid. Years Later, I Discovered a Dark Side I Never Knew About, by Sophie Boudreau, Huffington Post The Case for Gifted Education - Subhead: Personal Perspective: Why Equity shouldn’t mean holding bright minds back, by Tyler Woods, Psychology Today

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  • S2 · E12
    September 30 · 1 hr 2 min· Video

    Expecting Better: Debunking Common Parenting Myths with Emily Oster

    In this episode of Other People’s Parenting, mother-daughter duo Karen Quinn and Schuyler Hurwitz review Emily Oster’s Expecting Better – Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong – and What You Really Need to Know. Oster is an Economics Professor who uses her training to separate good research studies from less good ones. After she became pregnant, she began researching the advice doctors had been giving her based on these studies. What she discovered was that pregnancy suffers from a lot of misinformation! Some studies are better than others and you can’t make decisions about your own pregnancy without understanding this. Luckily for pregnant women everywhere, Oster set about reading the studies doctor’s based their recommendations on and letting women know which advice they could trust, and which to ignore. In this book, Oster explores many common pregnancy questions and gives us her best advice based on the research. Quinn and Hurwitz discuss these and many other questions explored in the book, including: · Should you lose weight before trying to get pregnant for a healthier pregnancy? · Which is more accurate for predicting ovulation: charting your temperature or home ovulation kits? · Is it okay to drink coffee when you’re pregnant? Can a pregnant woman drink alcohol without harming her fetus? · When is the risk of miscarriage highest? · What foods should you avoid when you’re pregnant? · Is there a difference in miscarriage rate if you’re nauseated during the first trimester? · Should you do prenatal screenings that have a risk of miscarriage? Are they worth taking the risk? · Can you dye your hair when you’re pregnant? Can a pregnant woman take Accutane? Are hot tubs and saunas safe during pregnancy? · Is it safe for a woman to exercise during pregnancy? · How can I find out if I can take a particular drug during pregnancy? · How early can a premature baby be born and survive? · Does bed rest prevent premature birth? · How is labor induced? The book covers these and many more common questions women have about their pregnancies. The great thing about this book is that the author is an expert on analyzing research studies and she has done the hard work and analysis for readers, so you feel comfortable taking her advice. Quinn and Hurwitz encourage empowering parents-to-be with scientifically backed recommendations, urging listeners to consider Oster’s insights as they navigate their own parenting journeys. Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Emily Oster Expecting Better Crib Sheet University of Chicago

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  • S2 · E11
    September 23 · 1 hr 1 min· Video

    When Homeschooling Fails and When It Works

    In this episode, we’re looking at homeschooling and its surge since the pandemic, especially the way it has grown beyond its traditional religious. Some of the questions we explore are: Why should a parent choose homeschooling today? What are the benefits of homeschooling over public school? Safety? Avoiding negative peer pressure? Drug exposure? Ability to tailor school curriculum to the child? Ability to provide religious instruction? Is homeschooling regulated by the state? When it is not regulated, how does the lack of accountability impact students? Do homeschooling students do better or worse than students who go to public schools? Are there advantages to attending public or private school with a classroom of students over being taught individually at home? How have cultural and political considerations affected the homeschooling movement after Covid? Do the benefits of tailored instructions, support for neurodivergent children, and the capacity to outsource teaching outweigh the benefits of being taught in a classroom of other students? What are the risks of homeschooling, including limited regulation, the potential for educational neglect, gaps in social development, and ideological isolation? What about annual testing or third-party ability checks to ensure for homeschooled students? What should parents consider when deciding whether or not to homeschool their children? The episode concludes by saying that homeschooling can be an appropriate choice for many families, but it does demand honest appraisal of parental ability, willingness to obtain professional support and safeguards to protect the child. Companies mentioned in this episode: Other People's Parenting Habit Coach Testing Mom TikTok Netflix Psychology Today Newsweek The Atlantic The New York Times The Cut Little House on the Prairie Museum Extend Homeschool Tutorials MAP test Referenced Articles: The Rise of Homeschooling: Confessions of an Educator, Calvina Ellerbe, Ph.D., Psychology Today He Was Homeschooled for Years, and Fell So Far Behind, Olga Khazan, The Atlantic Home School in Isolation What Homeschool Moms Don’t Understand, Amil Niazi, The Cut Inside a Gathering of America’s Growing Homeschool Movement, Emma Goldbert, NY Times Why Homeschooling is still on the Rise, Khaleda Rahman, Newsweek

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  • S2 · E10
    September 16 · 45 min· Video

    How To Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids: The Lindsay Clancy Trial Wake Up Call

    The last few months we've all been watching and waiting to find out Lindsays fate and parents across the world are divided. Was there more her community could have done for her? Was it really possible to have a postpartum psychotic break and lose it the way she did? This week we covered How To Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids and found that when it comes to low grade, every day parenting- parents can prevent losing their temper by identifying their triggers and investing in self care and support. The author urges parents to build awareness of what sets off their nervous system and to protect sleep, exercise, and rest. We outline practical steps: notice warning signs, pause, and do anything other than react, such as deep breathing, moving, or stepping away. If a parent does lose it, the right course is to reconnect, apologize for the behavior, and make a plan without blaming the child. Throughout, we maintain that these steps are intended for caregivers who are intermittently overwhelmed, and we recommend professional intervention for patterns that exceed ordinary parental stress. Some parents will need professional help, including therapy or medication, and that seeking support is necessary, not shameful. The book offers practical tools to reduce stress and to help parents model better behavior for their children. Takeaways: I assert that cultivating precise self-awareness of one's emotional triggers constitutes the foundational step toward preventing parental meltdowns. We emphasize that pragmatic self-care—regular sleep, exercise, therapeutic engagement, and medication when appropriate—reduces reactivity and restores parental equilibrium. I observed that simplifying obligations, minimizing multitasking, and delegating responsibilities materially decreases opportunities for being triggered in quotidian contexts. We recommend the pause strategy: noticing physiological cues, interrupting escalation, and deliberately substituting any benign action to avert an impulsive outburst. I learned that when one does lose control, prompt reconciliation, a concise apology for behavior, and a calm restorative plan are essential for repairing the relationship. We acknowledge that chronic or frequent loss of control plausibly indicates underlying psychopathology and thus warrants professional assessment and potentially evidence-based treatment. I assert that teaching children to tolerate boredom and to occupy themselves fosters independence and diminishes parental burden over time. We recognize that societal stigma often impedes mothers from seeking mental health support, and we advocate for destigmatization and proactive help-seeking. Companies mentioned in this episode: Other People's Parenting Habit Coach Testing Mom The New York Times National Institute for the Psychotherapies

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  • S2 · E9
    September 9 · 1 hr 14 min· Video

    Like, Follow, Subscribe: Is The Internet a Place for Children? Inspired by Kalie Robbins' Unsettling Discovery

    This week Kalie Robins, a mom, discovered that Facebook was compiling a profile on her minor children that ultimately gave strangers her family's full names, photographs, birthdays, and her home address. There are so many reasons not to put your kids on the internet and this episode delves into troubling dynamics of child influencers in the book "Like, Follow, Subscribe" by Fortessa Latifi. We examine the ethics surrounding the phenomenon in terms of consent and the long-lasting implications for children whose lives are broadcasted online. The conversation considers the stark contrast between the lucrative opportunities for parents and the potential psychological and emotional toll on the children involved. As we navigate through various case studies, including both the successes and scandals of prominent family vloggers, we underscore the urgent need for regulatory frameworks to protect minors in the digital landscape. We discuss the responsibilities of parents and the societal implications of commodifying childhood in a voyeuristic culture. Takeaways: The podcast discusses the ethical implications of child influencers and their online presence, emphasizing the need for informed consent, which young children are unable to provide adequately. Parents often face a moral dilemma regarding the monetization of their children's images, balancing financial benefits against potential long-term psychological harm to the child. The conversation highlights the complicated nature of parental responsibility, particularly in the context of social media, where children’s privacy is often compromised for profit. The podcast reflects on the evolution of mommy blogging into influencer culture, noting that while some parents find success, many families face significant challenges and ethical concerns in the process. Listeners are urged to consider the lasting impacts of exposing children to a public platform, particularly in an age of increasing digital surveillance and potential exploitation. The discussion underscores a growing call for more robust legal frameworks to protect child influencers, as current laws do not adequately address the complexities of modern content creation. Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Fortessa Latifi Real Housewives Bravo Next Gen nyc Kardashians Mormons Rachel Parcel Ballerina Farm Shannon Bird Ryan's World Alex Cooper Call Her Daddy Becca Martinez Kim Zolciak Ariana Bierman Bethany Johnson Ruby Franke Piper Raquel Carissa Collins

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  • S2 · E8
    September 2 · 52 min· Video

    Please Yell At My Kids

    Please Yell at My Kids: What Cultures Around the World Can Teach You About Parenting in Community, Raising Independent Kids, and Not Losing Your Mind, by Marina Lopes Parenting Lessons from Around the World That We All Can Use! In this episode, we go around the world to see how other cultures raise their children and what we in the west can learn from them. In America, we have no federally supported maternity leave, lack of childcare support, workplace and aspirational parenting pressures, conflicting online guidance – it’s enough to drive a mother to madness! What if there was another way? There is. Parenting, especially motherhood, looks wildly different across nations. Some of the questions we’ll be addressing: · Should you invite guests to your birth or C-Section as they do in Brazil? Will this give you the emotional support you need? · Does a 40-day period of restful confinement, healthy foods, and not washing your hair make sense for you as it does for mothers in China? Will this make you a better mother? · Why not let your child sleep outside in their stroller as they do in Denmark? Don’t you need some time away from baby? · Have you heard of alloparenting where neighbors join forces to raise each other’s children as they do in Mozambique? Would a parenting community like this work for you? · How about making granny your nanny as they do in Singapore? Even better if the government pays her to do it! · Why not drop your child off in the woods to find their way home like they do in the Netherlands? That’ll instill independence in them. · Wouldn’t it be great if the government paid you for being pregnant and having your baby as they do in Finland and (believe it or not) Flint, Michigan? As we look at how parenting is practiced across the world, we can be inspired by these ideas and find ways to adapt them to our own lives, making parenthood easier and more doable for families. This episode advocates for a shift towards embracing worldwide communal parenting practices that will enrich and ease the experience of raising our children. Takeaways: The book discussed in this episode emphasizes the importance of community in parenting, showcasing various cultural practices around the globe that support this concept. The authors reflect on their experiences with the book's contents, noting similarities to previous readings and expressing a desire for deeper insights into parenting methods. A significant theme of the episode is the notion that American parenting often lacks community support, leading to feelings of isolation among parents. The discussion highlights various cultural rituals surrounding childbirth and child-rearing, such as Brazil's 'birth parties' and China's confinement practices after childbirth. Links referenced in this episode: pleaseyellatmykids.com habitcoach.com testingmom.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Washington Post Hunt Gathered Parent RX Kids Testing Mom

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  • S2 · E7
    August 26 · 42 min· Video

    Oreo Gate: When a Cookie in a Lunch Box Becomes a Parenting Debate

    “Oreo Gate” is the latest social media debate centered around a seemingly simple question. Should parents put Oreos in their kids’ lunchboxes if one child in the class isn’t allowed to have them? It’s one thing if we’re talking food allergies – this would be a clear safety issue. Most schools have legitimate policies around allergens, and those rules exist to protect children. But asking families to avoid packing a beloved food like an Oreo simply because another child isn’t permitted to eat one is a different story. Parents argue that children will inevitably encounter other kids eating different foods, and that learning to navigate those differences is part of growing up. Others feel that minimizing situations where a child feels excluded is a reasonable act of kindness and consideration, particularly when it comes to young children who just want a yummy treat. In this episode of “Other People’s Parenting,” we explore some of the questions brought up by the Oreo Gate posts. These include: · Should parents shield their children from envy, even when the target of envy is a simple Oreo cookie? · Building resilience – Is it reasonable for parents to demand that the community conforms to their child or should they teach their child to conform to the community? · When you ban a food, will that backfire, making a child want it even more? Does forbidding “unhealthy” treats lead to eating disorders? · How do we teach kids to eat healthy foods without labeling foods as good or bad? · How do you get a young child to follow your house rules when they aren’t at home? · Is a Mom Group Chat the best place to resolve conflicts between our kids and families? · Should young children be responsible when they share their Oreo with a child who isn’t allowed to have Oreos? · When is it right to get the school involved in a conflict between parents in a classroom? · Will the name “Michelle” soon be synonymous with “Karen”? · When will Michelle give up and give Ava an Oreo for God’s sake! This tension is what has made “Oreo Gate” so fun to follow online: Where does reasonable accommodation end and parental responsibility begin? This debate isn’t really about Oreos. It’s about how much responsibility a community should take for managing children’s feelings, differences, and experiences and whether the answer should be handled by individual families, schools, or some combination of the two. Takeaways: In this episode, we delve into the controversy surrounding a mother's reaction to her child's exposure to Oreos, highlighting the complexities of parenting in a social media age. We explore how parental control over children's diets can lead to social isolation and the importance of teaching children resilience in the face of peer pressure. The discussion emphasizes the necessity for parents to communicate openly with their children, ensuring that they feel safe expressing their desires and frustrations. We also address the potential psychological effects on children when parents impose strict dietary restrictions, which can foster feelings of entitlement and anxiety about food choices. Links referenced in this episode: testingmom.com habitcoach.com tiktok.com instagram.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Oreo TikTok

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  • S2 · E6
    August 19 · 55 min· Video

    'More Than Happy': Insights from Amish Parenting

    More Than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting, by Serena Miller and Paul Stutzman How to Get Amish Level Obedience Without the Bonnets! This week on the “Other People’s Parenting” podcast, we are looking at parents who don’t need parental control apps because they don’t even have electricity! Yes, we are delving into the book “More Than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting,” by Serena Miller and Paul Stutzman. Miller is the author of several “clean Amish romance novels,” and Stutzman was born into an Amish family and later became a Mennonite, which is the less strict version of being Amish. In this episode, we explore some of the more unique practices of Amish parenting, such as their emphasis on community, family, discipline, and other day-to-day practices and cultural influences that make Amish children so mature and well-adjusted. Some of the questions we explore include: · Why are Amish children so well behaved? · How do Amish parents discipline their children? Do the Amish spank their kids? · How do the Amish get their children to help with chores without complaining? · How do the Amish build such a strong work ethic in their kids? · How do Amish children entertain themselves without television, video games, cell phones or screens? · Does limiting technology make Amish children happier? · Why do Amish children stop going to school after 8th grade? · Why do Amish families drive buggies and live off the grid? · Is the Amish faith imposed on Amish kids or do they have a choice? · What is Rumspringa and how does it help Amish teens decide whether to officially join the church? · What is the average size of an Amish family? · Do Amish wives have jobs? In discussing what it is like to bring up children in Amish homes, we reflect on how their culture and practices are applicable to modern parenting, urging parents to consider how elements of Amish wisdom can enhance their own family practices. Takeaways: The podcast episode thoroughly explores the principles of Amish parenting, emphasizing community, faith, and shared responsibilities that create a nurturing environment for children. Listeners gain insights into the unique practices of Amish families, including their approach to discipline, which focuses on teaching respect and responsibility rather than punitive measures. The discussion highlights the importance of selflessness in Amish culture, where children are taught that the needs of the family and community take precedence over individual desires. Rumspringa is introduced as a significant rite of passage for Amish teenagers, allowing them to experience the outside world before making a lifelong commitment to their community and faith. Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom More Than Happy Serena Miller Amish Helping Fund

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  • S2 · E5
    August 12 · 1 hr 14 min

    Crib Sheet (Featuring Jersey Banks of The Urban Cowboy)

    In this week’s episode, we are joined by Jersey Banks, who is the co-founder of The Urban Cowboy Hotels and Lodge, and mother to a 6-year-old daughter. Here, we discuss Emily Oster’s book, “Crib Sheet.” Emily Oster is an economics professor at the University of Chicago who spends her life looking at research studies and data, evaluating the quality of information and conclusions in studies. In her parenting books, she tells us which parenting studies we can rely on and which are flawed. In “Crib Sheet,” Oster looks at questions parents face in the first three years of parenting:  Should I bathe my baby immediately after birth?  Should I circumcise my newborn son?  Should I let the hospital give my newborn routine blood and hearing tests?  Should I room in with my baby in the hospital?  What do I do if my baby loses weight in the first few days?  What does it mean if my baby has jaundice?  How do I swaddle my baby? And why swaddle?  My baby has colic. What do I do?  What symptoms can I expect after giving birth? Vaginal tearing? Bleeding? A floppy stomach? Serious complications after giving birth to look for?  When can I exercise after giving birth?  When can I have sex after giving birth?  How to handle postnatal blues or depression?  Is it better to breastfeed? Is it okay to bottle-feeding my newborn?  What is nipple confusion?  Can I eat fish after giving birth? Can I drink coffee while nursing?  What is the safest way for me to set up my baby’s crib?  Is co-sleeping with my baby safe?  Which vaccines are safe for me to give my baby?  Should I work or should I be a stay-at-home mom?  Is day care safe for my baby? Is having a nanny better than daycare?  Should I sleep train my child? What does the data say?  How do I introduce solid foods to my baby?  What do I do if my child isn’t reaching their milestones? Are developmental delays treatable?  Can I allow my toddler to watch television or to play games on screens?  When will my child start to talk? If my baby isn’t talking, when do I worry?  How should I potty train my toddler?  How should I discipline my toddler?  How do I choose a pre-school or nursery school program?  What is the best way to space out my children? This being an Emily Oster's book, she examines each of these aspects of parenting through the lens of empirical research and statistical analysis. We highlight the necessity of discerning credible studies from flawed ones, and Oster provides parents with the tools to make informed decisions regarding child raising choices. Our discussion touches upon the critical topics mentioned, emphasizing the importance of making evidence-based parenting choices. We also talk about our personal experiences as mothers. Ultimately, this episode is interested in how data-driven insights can empower mothers and fathers to navigate the complexities of raising children in today's world. Takeaways: The podcast highlights the importance of Emily Oster's research in dispelling common misconceptions about parenting practices. Listeners are encouraged to approach parenting decisions based on data rather than societal pressures or anecdotal evidence. The episode emphasizes that parental choices regarding work versus stay-at-home parenting should be tailored to individual family needs. It is noted that children's developmental progress and well-being are significantly influenced by the quality of childcare arrangements they receive. Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Urban Cowboy Lodge Emily Oster Clif Bars

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  • S2 · E4
    August 5 · 52 min

    'Yesteryear': A Journey Through Parenting and Identity

    Think your morning routine is chaotic? At least you aren’t churning butter in 1855. Let’s talk Yesteryear. This week’s episode dives into a book that has been dominating our book clubs, social media feeds, and group chats. We are talking about Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. This is a fictional story that critiques contemporary parenting dynamics through the lens of a trad-wife influencer who grapples with her curated online persona and the reality of her unhappy existence. Does this remind you of anyone or anything…Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm perhaps? In Yesteryear, we meet Natalie, a glamorous, high-profile influencer who runs Yesteryear Ranch. On the outside, she is the ultimate tradwife — she bakes sourdough from scratch, wears gorgeous vintage dresses, has a beautiful family, and claims she is quite literally perfect at being alive. As modern moms, we all know that behind every perfectly carefully edited, aesthetic grid post, there is a chaotic reality. In this book, the line between performance and reality doesn't just blur—it fractures. The story takes us back and forth between Natalies modern, expertly selected and presented online life and a mysterious, grueling 1855 pioneer timeline, building up incredible psychological suspense that asks a massive question: What happens to a mother when the pressure to maintain a perfect illusion completely takes over? Whether you love scrolling through lifestyle influencers for inspiration, or you find yourself longing for a simpler life, this book holds up a fascinating, dark mirror to modern motherhood. Join us as we consider the societal pressures on women within the context of traditional and modern roles and discuss Natalie’s eventual unraveling as she confronts the absurdities of her lifestyle choices. So, grab your coffee or a glass of wine and let's talk about Yesteryear. Takeaways: This episode dives into the complexities of parenting as portrayed in the fictional narrative of Yesteryear. The discussion emphasizes the impact of societal expectations on women's roles in both contemporary and historical contexts. An exploration of mental health themes is evident, highlighting the struggles of the protagonist amidst societal pressures. The contrasting lifestyles of traditional and modern parenting are examined, raising questions about personal fulfillment and societal norms. Links referenced in this episode: TestingMom.com BallerinaFarm.com KissingMom.com HabitCoach.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Ballerina Farm Yesteryear Ranch Ruby Frankie Testing Mom

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  • S2 · E3
    July 29 · 1 hr 2 min

    Do You Want to Be a Tradwife? The Agony and Ecstasy of Total Dependency

    On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) we wanted to discuss Trad Wives before we review New York Times bestseller, “Yesteryear” (coming next week) by Caro Claire Burke. Yesteryear is about Natalie Heller Mills, a mother of 5 who lives on Yesteryear Ranch in Idaho. She is a tradwife influencer with a huge social media following of people who love her and think she represents the ideal of American motherhood, and people who hate her, and think she’s everything that’s wrong with women today. What is a tradwife? She is someone who follows traditional values and traditional living. She avoids modern appliances, devotes herself to childrearing, homemaking, and self-sufficiency. She aims to live off the land, making clothing, baking bread and food from scratch. The tradwife is a popular Tik Tok trend now, led by social influencers such as Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farms. These Tik Tok stars are in fact breadwinners and working women, which is the opposite of who they purport themselves to be. It appears that Natalie, the heroine of Yesteryear, is modeled after these real-life influencers. Ultimately, we cover an article about Belle Burden’s memoir “Strangers,” another New York Times bestseller, about a high-society stay-at-home mom whose marriage collapses after her husband’s affair. This book is an important discussion point in the tradwife movement because it exposes the dangers of turning financial control over to your partner, showing that even great wealth cannot protect a woman who checks out of understanding her family’s financial situation. This book serves as a stark financial warning for women ceding control to their husbands. Articles discussed include: My Day with the Trad Wife Queen and What it Taught Me The Woman Who Taught Me to Be a Tradwife – Over Bible Study, Donuts, and Group Tea, I learned the Rules of Submission My Goal With this Prenup is to Avoid What Happened to Belle – Women See Belle Burden’s Strangers as the New Marriage Manuel The Unglamorous Truth About the Average Tradwife – Most Stay-at-home Wives Simply Can’t Afford Childcare In this episode, we delve into the complex phenomenon of tradwives and their implications in contemporary parenting dynamics. We explore the multifaceted lives of women like Hannah Neelman, who embody both traditional roles and entrepreneurial spirit. The discussion highlights the contradictions faced by tradwives, as they navigate societal expectations and personal aspirations. We emphasize the importance of financial literacy for women, especially those in traditional marriage roles, to ensure their independence and security. Links referenced in this episode: ballerinafarmlife.com habitcoach.com testingmom.com newyorktimes.com thecut.com theatlantic.com hulu.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Ballerina Farm JetBlue Times of London Bravo The McBees Taylor Sheridan New York Times The Atlantic New York Magazine The Cut Bell Burden

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  • S2 · E2
    July 22 · 51 min· Video

    The Ferber Method - Is It Really Just Cry It Out?

    On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent), we were inspired to read “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems,” by Richard Ferber, M.D., after so many other books we’ve read came out against “sleep training” children. In other books, Dr. Ferber’s sleep training is known reductively as the “cry it out method.” Books like “Being There,” “Good Inside” and “The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read,” all criticize sleep training. So, we decided to read Ferber’s book and see what all the fuss was about. In this edition, Dr. Ferber updated his message to correct widespread misconceptions regarding his methods. He says his goal has always been to help parents understand how sleep works, determine the causes of their children’s sleep problems, and choose the sleep treatment that fits their own philosophy of child rearing. He says that many people have misunderstood his work and incorrectly described it. He states that leaving a child in a crib to cry for long periods of time until they fall asleep is not a method he approves of. In this episode, we cover the misconceptions surrounding Dr. Ferber’s method, along with methods for undoing troublesome sleep associations babies must unlearn before they can soothe themselves to sleep. He demonstrates the “Progressive-Waiting” sleep- training to help children to give up old bad habits and put themselves to sleep without fuss. Karen and Schuyler have both used this method to great success! In this episode, we reflect on balancing your child’s sleep needs with the wellbeing of parents and discuss how this particular book is more of an encyclopedia to be referred to as sleep problems come up from infancy through adolescence. We believe that there are benefits to implementing a structured sleep training approach and dispel the myth that there are negative outcomes for children who go through the Ferber Method of sleep training. Takeaways: The podcast emphasizes the importance of understanding and applying Dr. Ferber's sleep training methods, which are often misrepresented. Listeners are informed that the Ferber Method is not solely about letting children cry it out, but rather about fostering independent sleep skills. The hosts share personal experiences illustrating the challenges of sleep training and the emotional toll it can take on parents and children alike. The episode highlights the necessity of a consistent sleep routine for children, which is crucial for their development and well-being. The discussion touches on common misconceptions about sleep training and the psychological implications of well-rested parents on child-rearing. Listeners are encouraged to explore the nuances of sleep issues and recognize that each child's needs may vary significantly. Links referenced in this episode: testingmom.com studyisland.com mobymax.com brainpop.com scholastic.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Dr. Ferber Theorist Studios TestingMom.com Study Island Moby Max Brain Pop Scholastic

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  • S2 · E1
    July 15 · 52 min

    Our Top Ten Parenting Books of 2026

    On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) - we discuss notable parenting books, as we endeavor to provide our listeners with an overview and insightful analysis of the literature that shapes contemporary parenting practices. As we embark on this engaging exploration, we delve into a recap of our favorite books from the previous season, organized from ten to one allowing for a structured and coherent examination of each. We aim to highlight the good points and key messages conveyed, while also reflecting upon the personal anecdotes and insights that have emerged from our own experiences as mothers in the realm of parenting. We strive to foster a meaningful dialogue that encourages our listeners to engage with this literature and apply its teachings in their own parenting journeys. We hope that this episode not only serves as an informative resource but also inspires a deeper understanding of the complexities and nuances inherent in the art of parenting! The episode presents a thorough exploration of parenting literature, as conveyed by hosts Schuyler Hurwitz and her mother, Karen Quinn, in their podcast 'Other People's Parenting.' The hosts reflect on notable parenting books reviewed in the previous season, showcasing their insights and experiences with each text. A significant theme that emerges is the detrimental influence of diet culture on children's self-perception, as articulated in Virginia Soul Smith's 'Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture.' This book prompts a critical examination of societal attitudes towards weight and their implications for child development, urging parents to foster healthier relationships with food and body image. They engage with the arguments presented in 'The Anxious Generation,' which posits that overexposure to screens contributes to heightened anxiety among youth. This discussion is enriched by empirical evidence that highlights the need for parents to navigate technology's pervasive presence in their children's lives thoughtfully. As the episode progresses, the hosts thoughtfully recap their favorite books from the prior season, structured in reverse order to captivate both new and returning listeners. Takeaways: This episode offers a comprehensive recap of our favorite parenting books from Season One, highlighting key insights and lessons learned. We discuss the significant impact of technology and societal pressures on modern parenting, emphasizing the importance of emotional well-being for children. The value of understanding diverse parenting approaches from around the world is explored, revealing different cultural attitudes towards child-rearing. We emphasize the necessity of fostering a growth mindset in children, encouraging perseverance and resilience in the face of challenges. Links referenced in this episode: testingmom.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom

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  • S1 · E25
    July 1 · 54 min· Video

    Kids Who Go No Contact - Navigating Stories of Estrangement

    On this episode of the podcast, 'Other People's Parenting. hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best-selling author of The Ivy Chronicles, founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) - we discuss the top 10 favorite parenting books reviewed in Season 1 of the ‘Other People’s Parenting’ podcast, and what we learned from each book. We also cover our 2 least favorite books of the season. Here they are: 1. Hunt, Gather, Parent, by Michaeleen Doucleff An American mother who grew up in an angry home and is struggling with raising her willful 3-year-old (Rosy) brings her Rosy with her as she lives and learns about parenting in Indigenous populations – the Maya in Yucatan, the Intuit in the Arctic Circle, the Hadzabe in Tanzania. 2. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it’s about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a 13-year-old. The author is a Yale law professor (Chinese) married to a Jewish Yale law professor.The book came out in 2011 and caused controversy. It’s written like a memoir, felt half serious, half tongue in cheek. She talks about raising her daughters under an authoritative (but also warm) parenting style she called Chinese Parenting or Tiger Parenting. 3. Testing for Kindergarten: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Ace the Test For Public School Placement, Private School Admissions, Gifted Program Qualification, by Karen Quinn Book tells parents not to go crazy cramming for private school / Gifted admissions tests.Instead, understand the skills being tested are the same skills your child is supposed to master in the first 5 years. You can help them master these skills through everyday interactions and play. Book covers the 7 abilities kids need to score high on IQ and group ability (gifted) tests and how to instill them through daily life. Skills are – Language, Knowledge/comprehension, Memory, Math, Visual Spatial Reasoning, Thinking, Motor Skills + (bonus skills) attention, listening, processing speed. 4. Mindset, by Carol Dweck After decades of research, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, discovered a simple but groundbreaking idea: the power of mindset. In this book, she shows how success in school, work, sports, the arts, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. People with a fixed mindset - those who believe that abilities are fixed - are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset - those who believe that abilities can be developed. 5. Good Inside, by Dr. Becky Kennedy This book says that current discipline models like time outs, stickers, rewards, punishment – are based on changing outside (observable) behavior rather than non-observable mental states that lead to the behavior. She believes in changing parenting mindset from consequences to connecting with the child, while still maintaining boundaries and parental authority. 6. Bringing Up Bebe, by Pamela Druckerman This was the first book we ever read. We learned how differently children are raised in France. The book offers helpful tips and insights in the French philosophy of child-rearing. It was fascinating. We thought many of their “ways” were worth adopting in America. 7. The Anxious Generation – How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, by Jonathan Haidt This book traces the dramatic decline in youth mental health, linking smartphones and social media to rising rates of depression and anxiety while offering solutions to parents and society. 8. Smart But Scattered, Peg Dawson and Richard Guare For parents of kids age 4 – 13 who have difficulties with 1) getting started, 2) staying focused, 3) impulse-control, 4) emotional control, 5) managing time, 6) organization, 7) planning and prioritizing, 8) remembering things, 9) being flexible, 10) working towards a goal, 11) self-awareness (meta-cognition). 9. 5 Love Languages of Children – by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell Every child has a primary language in which they understand their parent’s love best.This book teaches you how to recognize and speak your child’s main love language as well as the other 4 love languages you can use to help your child know he is loved so they can grow into a loving responsible adult. 10. Fat Talk – Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture – by Virginia Sole-Smith This book challenges deeply held beliefs about food, weight, and the role of parents in shaping kids' eating habits and body image – It’s a well-researched book with lots of advice about a very difficult topic. And our two least favorite books of Season 1 were: Being There – Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First 3 Years Matters, by Erica Komisar, LCSW This book argues that the first 3 years of a child’s life a mom’s physical presence is best – this is a formative window for kids – if you can possibly not work, work part time, work from home, do this. All mothers should reconsider the amount of time you commit to a job or other activities. 1-2-3 Magic, by Thomas W. Phelan Control Obnoxious Behavior with the 1-2-3 Counting System – This book teaches a discipline approach that has parents counting bad behavior. “That’s one” for the first instance of misbehavior, “that’s two,” and “that’s three,” at which point the parent is put into a time out. The parent stays calm while counting, and they don’t argue with the child or talk about what the child is doing wrong. After the time-out, the child is released with no discussion of the offending behavior. Links referenced in this episode: testingmom.com Companies mentioned in this episode: (make these links) Habit Coach Testing Mom

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  • S1 · E24
    June 24 · 52 min· Video

    Mom Test - From Snacktime to Startup

    On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) - we discuss the nuances of entrepreneurship, particularly as it pertains to mothers seeking to establish businesses inspired by their experiences with their children. We explore the pivotal premise of the book "The Mom Test," which emphasizes the importance of soliciting genuine feedback from potential customers rather than relying on the often biased opinions of close associates, such as family members. The discussion reveals that successful business ventures stem from identifying real problems that consumers face and assessing their willingness to invest in solutions. Additionally, we share personal anecdotes that illustrate the transformative power of parental inspiration in the entrepreneurial journey. Ultimately, our conversation underscores the necessity of adaptability, patience, and authenticity in navigating the complex landscape of business ownership. We reflect on the tremendous support received from our audience and the joy derived from sharing our parenting insights and experiences. This unexpected pivot leads us to discuss the fundamental principles of starting a business, emphasizing the importance of identifying genuine problems that consumers face and ensuring that any product or service developed truly addresses these needs. Takeaways: The podcast emphasizes the importance of gathering genuine feedback from potential customers before launching a business. Listeners are encouraged to start small with their business ideas and evolve based on customer input and market demand. We share personal anecdotes, highlighting the necessity of adaptability and scrappiness in the face of unforeseen challenges in entrepreneurship. A significant point made is that entrepreneurs should remain true to themselves to build authentic connections with their audience. It is discussed that patience is key in the business journey, as success often takes longer than originally anticipated. The importance of understanding one's unique selling proposition in a competitive market is also underscored, guiding the direction of a new business. Links referenced in this episode: habitcoach.com testingmom.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Rob Fitzpatrick Nosy Boo

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  • S1 · E23
    June 17 · 45 min· Video

    Danish Parenting - The Secret Sauce of Danish Childhood

    On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) -our discussion revolves around the exploration of the Danish approach to parenting, which is characterized by a profound emphasis on fostering happiness and resilience in children. We delve into the principles outlined in the book "The Danish Way of Parenting," where the authors advocate for a parenting style that prioritizes play, authenticity, reframing, empathy, and a sense of togetherness encapsulated by the concept of 'Hygge'. Throughout our discussion, we highlight the significance of allowing children to engage in unstructured play and the profound impact it has on their socialization and emotional development. We reflect on the cultural nuances that differentiate Danish parenting from prevalent practices in other societies, particularly in terms of emotional honesty and the lack of punitive measures in child-rearing. Join us as we uncover the invaluable insights and methodologies that contribute to the contentment of Danish children and, by extension, their families. We delve into how the Danish approach to raising children is grounded in five essential principles: play, authenticity, reframing, empathy, and a rejection of ultimatums. This parenting style is characterized by a focus on the emotional well-being of children, which the authors argue is integral to fostering resilience and happiness in adulthood. The conversation emphasizes the significance of play, which is regarded as a fundamental aspect of child development in Denmark. Danish parents prioritize allowing their children unstructured playtime, which not only nurtures creativity but also cultivates social skills and emotional intelligence. This stands in stark contrast to parenting practices in other cultures, where children are often subjected to intense academic pressures and structured schedules from an early age. We discuss how this liberating approach enables children to explore their environment freely, developing autonomy and a sense of self. In addition to play, the discussion touches upon the concept of 'hygge,' which embodies a sense of coziness and togetherness central to Danish culture. We advocate for creating warm family interactions that enrich emotional connections. We also reflect on the importance of emotional authenticity—acknowledging both positive and negative feelings without shielding children from life's complexities. The episode ultimately serves as a compelling argument for re-evaluating conventional parenting techniques in favor of a more holistic, child-centered approach that aligns with the Danish ethos. Takeaways: The Danish method of parenting emphasizes the importance of play, allowing children to engage freely without adult interference, thus fostering autonomy and creativity in their development. In Denmark, there is a strong focus on emotional honesty, where parents model their own emotions for children, allowing them to understand and accept a full spectrum of feelings. The concept of 'Hygge' in Danish culture promotes a sense of coziness and togetherness, encouraging families to spend quality time together in a warm and inviting atmosphere. Danish parenting values promoting social skills and emotional intelligence over academic achievement, leading to a more well-rounded and resilient adult. Danish parents employ a method of reframing situations positively, teaching children to focus on the silver linings and to develop a resilient mindset towards challenges. Overall, the Danish parenting style encourages a communal sense of well-being, fostering a culture where children's happiness is prioritized alongside their individual growth. Links referenced in this episode: Testingmom.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Testingmom.com Disney Hans Christian Andersen Montessori LEGO Scholastic Moby Max Brain Pop

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  • S1 · E22
    June 10 · 1 hr 14 min· Video

    Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - The Original Parenting Debate That Broke The Internet (Featuring Sandy Cho)

    On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) -is the exploration of the parenting philosophies articulated in Amy Chua's controversial book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." We delve into the differences between Eastern and Western parenting styles, examining the implications of Chua's "Tiger Mom" approach, which emphasizes rigorous discipline, high expectations, and a results-oriented mindset. We juxtapose these methodologies with personal anecdotes and reflections from our guest, Sandy Cho, who offers invaluable insights drawn from her own upbringing in a similar framework. The conversation reveals the complexities and nuances that accompany strict parenting, shedding light on both the potential benefits and psychological toll it may impose on children. Ultimately, we aim to foster a deeper understanding of how these parenting styles manifest in contemporary society, and whether they yield the desired outcomes for the next generation. Takeaways: The podcast explores the distinctions between Western and Chinese parenting styles, particularly highlighting the intense expectations placed upon children. We discuss the cultural implications of parenting styles, emphasizing that the approach taken by parents can significantly affect children's outcomes. A key insight shared was the importance of balancing strictness with support, illustrating that parenting styles must adapt to individual children's needs. The episode features Sandy Cho who provides a personal account of growing up under a strict parenting style, revealing both the benefits and challenges associated with it. The discussion touches upon the pressure to achieve excellence, as illustrated through anecdotes about the guests' upbringing and their experiences in competitive environments. Ultimately, the podcast advocates for understanding and flexibility in parenting, acknowledging that different children may require different approaches to thrive. Links referenced in this episode: habitcoach.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Harvard Yale Stanford

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  • S1 · E21
    June 3 · 49 min· Video

    How To Talk To Teens - Turning Eye Rolls into actual Conversations

    On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) -we dive into communication between parents and their teenage children, centering around the book "How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. We explore the authors' theory that effective communication methods are crucial for fostering understanding and empathy in familial relationships, particularly during the tumultuous teenage years. The discussion highlights various techniques that parents can employ to enhance their interactions, emphasizing the importance of listening and responding to their children’s feelings without resorting to punishment. This episode serves as a valuable resource for parents navigating the complexities of adolescence while seeking to maintain open and constructive dialogues with their children. Takeaways: In this episode, we discussed the parenting book titled 'How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk', highlighting its unique first-person narrative style, which is uncommon in parenting literature. We emphasized the importance of effective communication techniques outlined in the book, which aim to foster better relationships between parents and their teenagers, reducing conflict. The episode highlighted that the problems teens face today differ from those mentioned in the book, yet the communication strategies proposed remain relevant and useful. We noted that the book is concise, filled with illustrations which aid in understanding, making it accessible and engaging for parents dealing with challenging adolescent situations. During the discussion, we explored the significance of expressing feelings without resorting to insults, advocating for empathy in conversations with teenagers. We concluded that while the authors have passed, their teachings continue through workshops that assist parents in learning how to effectively communicate with their children. Links referenced in this episode: testingmom.com studyisland.com mobymax.com scholastic.com habitcoach.com otherpeoplesparenting.com Companies mentioned in this episode: Habit Coach Testing Mom Teen TestingMom.com Study Island Moby Max Brain Pop Scholastic Dr. Becky Adele Faber Elaine Mazlish

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