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Nope! We're Not Monogamous · July 30 · 58 min

Growing Up in a Polyamorous Family | A Conversation with Koe Creation

What is it actually like to grow up in a polyamorous family? There are plenty of opinions about how non-monogamy affects children, but very few of those opinions come from people who actually lived it. In this re-released episode of Nope, We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with educator, author, and activist Koe Creation, who grew up in a polyamorous family and now helps people navigate conversations around relationships, gender, sexuality, and chosen family. Together we explore what childhood was really like, how parents can create emotionally safe homes, and why honesty, trust, and communication matter so much more than whether your relationships fit traditional expectations. We also talk about navigating judgment from the outside world, introducing partners to children, "meta parents," and the importance of giving kids age-appropriate information without making relationships feel secret or shameful. Whether you're already raising children in a non-monogamous family, considering opening your relationship, or simply curious about what healthy alternative family structures can look like, this conversation offers a thoughtful perspective that challenges many of the assumptions our culture still holds. In this episode we discuss: What it was like growing up in a polyamorous family How children experience non-monogamy differently than adults often assume Talking with kids about relationships in age-appropriate ways Creating emotional safety through honesty instead of secrecy Navigating schools, extended family, and social stigma The role of chosen family and "meta parents" Why communication matters more than family structure The Platinum Rule: treating people the way they want to be treated What today's media still gets wrong about polyamory Timestamps 00:00 Why people misunderstand polyamorous families 01:25 Meet Koe Creation 06:00 Choosing non-monogamy for yourself 12:30 Growing up outside traditional family structures 21:50 Privacy, secrecy, and navigating the outside world 28:50 Talking to children about non-monogamy 40:00 The Platinum Rule and healthier relationships 51:00 Representation, media, and the future of polyamorous families Connect with Koe Creation Website: https://www.koecreation.com X/Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/koecreation Books Mentioned This Heart Holds Many: My Life as the Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family by Koe Creation Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá ❤️ If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who could use a little reassurance that there are many ways to build a loving family. If you're navigating jealousy, opening a relationship, or trying to create healthier, more secure connections, you can book a free Clarity Chat with me at elleciapaine.com/chat. About the Podcast Nope, We're Not Monogamous explores the real lives of people creating love outside traditional relationship structures. Every week we have honest conversations about ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, attachment, communication, sexuality, and building relationships that feel authentic instead of automatic. Hosted by relationship coach Ellecia Paine. Send us Fan Mail Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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transcript

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show notes

What is it actually like to grow up in a polyamorous family?

There are plenty of opinions about how non-monogamy affects children, but very few of those opinions come from people who actually lived it.

In this re-released episode of Nope, We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with educator, author, and activist Koe Creation, who grew up in a polyamorous family and now helps people navigate conversations around relationships, gender, sexuality, and chosen family.

Together we explore what childhood was really like, how parents can create emotionally safe homes, and why honesty, trust, and communication matter so much more than whether your relationships fit traditional expectations.

We also talk about navigating judgment from the outside world, introducing partners to children, "meta parents," and the importance of giving kids age-appropriate information without making relationships feel secret or shameful.

Whether you're already raising children in a non-monogamous family, considering opening your relationship, or simply curious about what healthy alternative family structures can look like, this conversation offers a thoughtful perspective that challenges many of the assumptions our culture still holds.

In this episode we discuss:

  • What it was like growing up in a polyamorous family
  • How children experience non-monogamy differently than adults often assume
  • Talking with kids about relationships in age-appropriate ways
  • Creating emotional safety through honesty instead of secrecy
  • Navigating schools, extended family, and social stigma
  • The role of chosen family and "meta parents"
  • Why communication matters more than family structure
  • The Platinum Rule: treating people the way they want to be treated
  • What today's media still gets wrong about polyamory

Timestamps

00:00 Why people misunderstand polyamorous families

01:25 Meet Koe Creation

06:00 Choosing non-monogamy for yourself

12:30 Growing up outside traditional family structures

21:50 Privacy, secrecy, and navigating the outside world

28:50 Talking to children about non-monogamy

40:00 The Platinum Rule and healthier relationships

51:00 Representation, media, and the future of polyamorous families

Connect with Koe Creation

Website: https://www.koecreation.com

X/Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/koecreation

Books Mentioned

This Heart Holds Many: My Life as the Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family by Koe Creation

Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

❤️ If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who could use a little reassurance that there are many ways to build a loving family.

If you're navigating jealousy, opening a relationship, or trying to create healthier, more secure connections, you can book a free Clarity Chat with me at elleciapaine.com/chat.

About the Podcast

Nope, We're Not Monogamous explores the real lives of people creating love outside traditional relationship structures. Every week we have honest conversations about ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, attachment, communication, sexuality, and building relationships that feel authentic instead of automatic.

Hosted by relationship coach Ellecia Paine.

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show?
The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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