Why do I Get Defensive -When Given Feedback? |Epi 118

Why does even gentle feedback feel like an attack?
In this episode, we explore how the mind turns ordinary feedback into a perceived assault — and why that reaction exists for a reason. Narcissistic defensiveness isn’t just about arrogance or fragility; it’s a complex system designed to keep you ‘company.’ The very attack that harms also protects — preserving connection with an internalized other, even if that connection is punishing.

Through clinical examples, we look at how this dynamic plays out in daily life and how therapy helps loosen these inner assaults so real growth and connection can begin.

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Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.