I Know Why I Get Angry and Defensive—So Why Can’t I Stop?

In this episode, we look at the painful moment so many of us know too well: when you understand why you get angry, defensive, or shut down—and yet, you still do it. We examine this problem through the lens of one man’s story about a frustrating moment that spirals into rage and self-loathing. But understanding this isn’t the most important thing. We tackle the real question: what actually helps when knowing yourself isn’t enough? If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop—knowing better, but still hurting yourself or someone else—this episode will meet you there.

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Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.