Modern Masculinity

Build a Life You Do Not Need to Escape with Jason Bronstad

What does it actually take to be a present husband, father, leader, and man when life refuses to slow down? Hector sits down with Jason Bronsted for an honest conversation about releasing old expectations, doing the inner work, and learning to meet both success and struggle with a steady mind and an open heart. Jason shares how community, jujitsu, time in nature, and intentional family planning help him stay grounded, along with what he has learned about supporting the people he loves without trying to fix everything for them. They also explore how men can define masculinity for themselves, why every man needs a third space beyond home and work, and how raising curious children may matter more than preparing them for one specific career. This episode is a practical reminder that a meaningful life is not something you reach someday. It is something you create through presence, courage, and the choices you make today. Chapters: (00:00:00) Meet Jason and the pressure to have it all together (00:05:00) Doing the inner work and learning to love yourself (00:08:20) Living now instead of waiting for retirement (00:12:50) Defining masculinity for yourself (00:15:40) Why every man needs community and a third space (00:20:20) Staying present when real life gets difficult (00:25:00) What sports teach us about resilience (00:28:00) Nature, jujitsu, and rituals that bring you back to center (00:32:15) Raising curious children in an AI shaped world (00:38:45) Books, asking for help, and the meaning of presence Links And Resources: Website Jason Bronstad on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Most Men Do the Ritual. Almost None of Them Actually Live It with Dodge Feeler

Dodge Feeler is a telehealth founder, a father, and someone who has done a lot of living in a short amount of time. He went from being a hair restoration surgeon at 33 who thought he had already peaked, through a divorce, through the spiritual marketplace, through fatherhood, and out the other side with a very different set of priorities. In this conversation, he and Hector get into what it actually takes to stop cycling through healing modalities and start living the work. They talk about what fatherhood demands of you that nothing else will, why so many men confuse doing the ritual with being changed by it, and what it looks like to become a man your son actually learns something from. It is a raw and honest conversation that does not have a tidy conclusion, which is kind of the point. Chapters: (00:00:00) Welcome and What Is Real in Dodge's World Right Now (00:02:00) How Fatherhood Completely Rewires Your Brain and Priorities (00:08:00) Comfort as a Warning Sign and What It Means to Follow Your Calling (00:12:00) The Gap Between Doing the Ritual and Actually Living It (00:17:00) Teaching Your Kids to Regulate Before You Can Regulate Yourself (00:23:00) The Peptide Culture Trap and the Present Moment You Keep Missing (00:28:00) What Is the Spiritual Marketplace and Why It Keeps You Searching (00:34:00) What Being a Present Father Actually Looks Like Day to Day (00:40:00) Why We Are Failing to Bring Boys Into Manhood (00:47:00) Becoming the Man Your Son Will Point To Someday Links And Resources: Website Dodge Feeler on Instagram Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

• Chapters

The Real Reason Good Men Struggle With Limits with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

Dr. Kelly Flanagan returns to Modern Masculinity to share the real evolution of his work — because awareness alone wasn't enough. After years of studying emotional patterns, Kelly hit a breaking point (literally — he broke his collarbone on an angry bike ride) that launched a five-year journey into what he now calls the Peaceful Pivot Process: a 9-step framework built around three phases — Get Calm, Get Free, and Get Connected. In this conversation, he and Hector unpack why you can't solve your triggered mind with your mind, how your body signals a triggered response 80% sooner than your thoughts do, and why keeping your heart open while setting firm boundaries is the highest expression of strength for a man. Whether you're a dad navigating the bickering, a husband trying not to blow up, or a high-achiever who keeps re-reading the books without changing the behavior — this one hits different. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Welcome to Modern Masculinity (00:01:00) - Kelly's world today: family, fatherhood, and the muck (00:04:00) - Why head knowledge doesn't stop the trigger (00:08:00) - The broken collarbone story that changed everything (00:11:00) - Why Michael Singer couldn't teach the rest of us — so Kelly built his own process (00:15:00) - The Peaceful Pivot Process: Get Calm, Get Free, Get Connected (00:25:00) - Open-heartedness is NOT a lack of boundaries (00:28:00) - The two-axis framework: boundaried vs. open-hearted (00:34:00) - Full 9-step walkthrough of the Peaceful Pivot Process (00:43:00) - The Road Less Triggered: where to get the book and bonuses Links And Resources: Website: https://www.allianceclinical.com/ Dr. Kelly Flanagan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drkellyflanagan/ Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/ Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Why Men Reject the Love They Need Most with Andrew L. Anderson

In this raw and deeply practical conversation, Hector welcomes Andrew Anderson back to Modern Masculinity for a powerful discussion on worthiness, emotional healing, fatherhood, and what it really means for a man to receive love. Together, they unpack how childhood beliefs quietly shape adult identity, why so many men intellectualize growth without embodying it, and how deep inner work can change the way a man shows up for his kids, his relationships, and himself. For men navigating pressure, shame, conflict, or the weight of always having to hold it together, this episode offers a grounded path toward greater freedom, compassion, courage, and love. Chapters: (00:00:00) Pain is inevitable, but suffering can be optional (00:04:02) Why Hector reached out and what authenticity pulls out of men (00:07:32) The missed session and the hard lesson of receiving support (00:11:20) Worthiness, prosperity, and the law of giving and receiving (00:14:10) The dance party with Hector’s kids and what changed at home (00:18:42) Standing up for his son without anger, fear, or reactivity (00:22:15) Why childhood beliefs shape adult patterns (00:29:05) Discernment, certainty, and looking inward for identity (00:35:08) How adults unintentionally dim a child’s light (00:39:02) Forgiveness, emotional freedom, and why modern masculinity is love Links And Resources: Website Andrew Anderson on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

The Subtle Changes Happening Right Now with John WInters

John returns to the Modern Masculinity Podcast to share what's changed since becoming a father again at 42 — and what it's taught him about longevity, presence, and the moments we don't realize are the last ones. He and Hector dive deep into the realities of health span versus lifespan, why most men are unknowingly laying the groundwork for metabolic disease in their 30s and 40s, and why the fitness industry's obsession with 30-day transformations sets men up to fail. From the truth about GLP-1s and peptides to why creatine may be the most underrated supplement of our generation, John breaks down what actually works for men who want to stay functional, strong, and present for their families — not just alive, but thriving — well into their 70s and beyond. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Appreciating the "lasts" — what fatherhood the second time around teaches you (00:02:47) - The exponential challenge of raising two kids (00:04:00) - Balancing a growing business with a growing family (00:06:12) - Recognizing milestones you didn't know were the last (00:07:52) - Why longevity matters more when you're a dad at 42 (00:09:45) - Health span vs. lifespan — compressing disease into fewer years (00:11:00) - The metabolic diseases being built in your 30s and 40s (00:12:30) - Why "eat healthier" isn't enough — the next level of nutrition (00:13:15) - The minimum effective dose: strength training, daily movement, and whole foods (00:14:45) - GLP-1s: the easy button myth and what they actually require (00:16:30) - Peptides as amplifiers, not replacements for the basics (00:18:00) - The identity shift required for lasting change (00:20:00) - How coaching fills the gap the pharmaceutical industry ignores (00:21:30) - The "looks maxing" trend and why teenagers are taking steroids (00:23:45) - Testosterone replacement: when it's necessary vs. when it's reckless (00:25:15) - How exogenous hormones disrupt your body's entire signaling cascade (00:27:00) - Patients vs. doctors: the new dynamic of informed health decisions (00:28:30) - RDA vs. optimal: why minimum standards aren't enough (00:30:00) - Creatine — the supplement everyone should be taking (00:32:00) - "One way or another, health becomes a priority" (00:33:15) - Trackers, data, and why more information leads to better coaching (00:36:00) - The feast-or-famine cycle of unsustainable fitness programs (00:38:30) - Minimum effective dose training: 2-3 days, 30 minutes, real results (00:40:30) - Stacking small wins instead of chasing dramatic transformations (00:42:00) - Where to find John and Lifestyle Performance Training (00:42:45) - John's definition of modern masculinity Links And Resources: Webstie: https://lifestyleperformancetraining.com/author/lptadmin/ John Winters on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-winters-7a3bb892/?isSelfProfile=false Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/ Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

The 3-Part Masculine Blueprint That Fixes Most Relationships with GS Youngblood

In this conversation, GS Youngblood returns to break down a practical “cheat code” for better relationships: get grounded, lead with clarity, and create emotional safety. GS explains why many men unconsciously repeat childhood patterns—especially helplessness and people-pleasing—and how that shows up as conflict avoidance, unmet needs, and corrosive resentment. Together, GS and Hector explore boundaries, emotional leadership, and why relationship skill is learnable (just like fitness). They also discuss how the same blueprint applies in dating—from the first few seconds of presence to the way a man sets direction and builds connection through genuine curiosity. Chapters: (00:00:00) What modern masculinity is: grounded, leading, safe (00:01:00) GS’s core thesis: the 3-part masculine blueprint (00:02:30) How unprocessed trauma shapes adult relationships (00:04:10) The “needs get steamrolled” pattern (and where it begins) (00:06:30) Why resentment is so corrosive—and how it builds (00:08:00) Emotional leadership: naming the fracture instead of hiding it (00:14:00) Why men check out (games, scrolling, substances) when relationship is hard (00:18:00) The concrete practices: grounding, leadership, connection (00:23:30) Dating with presence: the first 5 seconds + directional energy (00:41:30) Where to start: the book, bootcamp, and live workshops Links And Resources: Website: https://www.gsyoungblood.com/ GS Youngblood on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmir/ Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/ Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Why “Busy” Is the Most Dangerous Lie Men Tell Themselves with Ben Brown

Hector sits down with Ben Brown to unpack why so many men feel stretched thin in midlife, and why “being busy” is not the real issue. Ben explains how modern life overwhelms human biology through constant stimulation, easy access to highly processed food, and chronic stress, and why sustainable health is less about perfect plans and more about ownership, identity, and repeatable non-negotiables. They discuss why black-and-white dieting fails, how to live in the “gray” with consistent “pretty good” habits, and how tools like AI and modern medicine can support the fundamentals rather than replace them. Ben also shares why comprehensive blood work can be a powerful next step for optimization, especially when symptoms have deeper roots like sleep quality issues. Chapters: (00:00:00) Modern life’s constant stimulation and why it matters (00:01:00) Ben’s current season: family, business, and the “busy” trade-offs (00:06:00) Why putting yourself last is not selfless (00:12:00) Do we need modern medicine to offset modern living? (00:14:00) Cutting through health noise: fundamentals first (00:18:00) Peptides, GLP-1s, and TRT as tools, not shortcuts (00:24:00) The missing piece: ownership, identity, and discomfort (00:29:00) Breaking the all-or-nothing mindset and living in the gray (00:34:00) Why comprehensive blood work can change the game (00:45:00) Using AI for tracking, learning, and decision support (00:47:00) Where to find Ben, and defining modern masculinity Links And Resources: Website Ben Brown on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

640 Pounds and Broken: One Man's Fight to Save Himself with Adam Boyd

Adam Boyd opens up about his transformation from 640 pounds to losing 158 pounds in 58 weeks, sharing the brutal reality of food addiction, alcoholism, and gambling that nearly cost him his life. In this raw conversation, Adam discusses growing up in chaos, living in fear, and the moment he realized no one was coming to save him. He breaks down his decision to use GLP-1 medications like Ozempic, the importance of vulnerability over performative masculinity, and why men struggle to ask for help. This isn't a typical weight loss success story — it's an honest look at what it takes to transform your life when you're morally broken, the role of male friendships in healing, and how sitting in anxiety rather than running from it becomes the path forward. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Growing Up in Chaos: Adam's Early Life and Food Addiction (00:02:00) - The Spiral: When Alcohol and Gambling Took Over (00:05:46) - Living in Fear: How Chaos Shaped Adam's Identity (00:08:00) - 58 Weeks In: 158 Pounds Lost and Still Sober (00:09:00) - Why Adam Used Ozempic: Turning Off the Noise (00:13:00) - Rock Bottom: Living in a Trailer and Realizing No One's Coming (00:14:00) - Running Toward the Storm: Why Vulnerability Saved His Life (00:17:00) - Hard Things Now, Easy Later: Breaking the Comfort Zone (00:19:00) - How Your Brain Creates New Pathways When You Do Hard Things (00:21:00) - The Father Figure He Never Had: Finding Male Mentorship (00:24:00) - Why Men Don't Ask for Help (And Why They Should) (00:28:00) - The Goal: 300 Pounds and Helping Others Through Anxiety (00:30:00) - Modern Masculinity: Being Open and Creating Space to Listen Links And Resources: Adam Boyd on Instagram Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

What Happens When Work Stops Being Your God with Jason Heinritz

Jason Heinritz shares his journey from being a self-described workaholic chasing accolades to finding peace through faith and intentional living. Jason opens up about his struggle with numbing himself with weed and alcohol after long workdays, the transformative moment when he took a demotion and got rebaptized, and how fasting and prayer became essential tools for navigating major life decisions—including moving his family from Wisconsin to Seattle to help start a church. He discusses the importance of being a "Jesus guy" without the baggage of religion, the power of setting boundaries around work (now working just 28 hours per week), and practical ways he's raising his kids with spiritual grounding in a world full of distractions. Jason also breaks down why modern masculinity should follow Jesus' example of leading with love while standing firm in truth, and shares his Wake Up Jesus People movement designed to awaken the warrior within men. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Jason introduces himself and his journey from workaholic to finding peace through faith (00:02:00) - Moving from Wisconsin to Seattle to help start a church and balancing multiple roles (00:06:00) - The importance of having a North Star and purpose beyond material success (00:08:40) - Breaking free from numbing with weed and alcohol after work (00:12:18) - The practical and spiritual power of prayer and fasting (00:17:00) - How fasting releases chains and builds personal agency (00:18:00) - Different types of fasts: liquid fasts, Daniel fasts, and navigating them with family (00:22:00) - Setting intentions before fasting and avoiding perfectionism (00:26:00) - Why Jesus is the ultimate example of integrated masculinity (00:31:00) - Jesus as tough but loving: flipping tables and speaking truth (00:36:00) - The sacred start morning routine: prayer, journal, exercise, and scripture (00:38:00) - Raising kids with spiritual grounding while attending public school (00:40:00) - Explaining the "why" behind faith instead of enforcing rules (00:44:00) - Modern masculinity defined: following Jesus, leading with tough love, and servant leadership Links And Resources: Website Jason Heinritz on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

The 4 Non-Negotiables Every Man Needs to Master with Donovan Owens

Hector sits down with Donovan Owens, founder of the Life is REPS community, for a tactical deep-dive into what it truly means to master modern masculinity. Donovan shares his raw journey from rebellious teenager to sitting on the edge of his bed with a pistol, contemplating suicide—and the spiritual moment that changed everything. They explore Donovan's REPS Operating System (Repetitive Excellence Produces Success), breaking down practical tools like the Mastery Morning routine, the four power pillars (adventure, worthwhile work, real relationships, and strong self), and why excellence requires both presence and resourcefulness. This isn't philosophical fluff—it's actionable wisdom on creating systems that prevent you from falling prey to society's strategic traps of convenience, comfort, and unhealthy dopamine. Donovan challenges men to define success on their own terms, communicate consciously with those around them, and recognize that mastery isn't a destination but a daily commitment. Whether you're battling defaults, seeking clarity, or ready to tap into the deepest version of yourself, this conversation delivers the framework to become the man that matters—to yourself first, then to your world. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Welcome and Introduction to Donovan Owens (00:01:15) - The Journey: From Rebellious Teen to Rock Bottom (00:06:42) - The Moment That Changed Everything: Gratitude and Survival (00:10:28) - Daily Battles: Ego, Humility, and Incomplete Manhood (00:14:35) - The Mastery Morning: Your Three Essential Wins (00:22:18) - Building the REPS Operating System (00:31:47) - Excellence vs. Perfection: Quality Over Quantity (00:38:25) - Society's Strategic System of Traps (00:42:15) - Liminal Thinking: Examining Your Belief Bubbles (00:47:20) - Defining Modern Masculinity: Being the Man That Matters Links and Resources: Life is REPS Website: https://lifeisreps.com/ Life is REPS Newsletter: https://lifeisreps.com/newsletter Life is REPS YouTube: https://youtube.com/@lifeisreps Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Why Moving 800 Miles Didn't Fix His Life Crisis with Jake Kennington

Jake Kennington is a structural engineer, children's book author, and founder of Actively Human who discovered that achieving his career goals left him feeling more lost than ever. After moving his family 800 miles for what he thought was his dream job, Jake realized his priorities had fundamentally changed—but he was still living a previous version of his life. In this conversation, Jake shares his framework for redefining success (REDAC: Redefine, Realign, Reconnect), why working on yourself isn't selfish when you have a family, and how a simple morning routine transformed his marriage. He opens up about the uncomfortable moment when he saw his own bad behavior mirrored in his son, why creating something and sharing it is the key to human connection, and what 15 years of fatherhood has taught him about growing up alongside your kids. This episode is for any man who feels like he's checking all the boxes externally but struggling internally, wondering if there's more to masculinity than just providing and performing. Chapters: (00:00:00) - The Moment Everything Changed: When His Son Mirrored His Worst Behavior (00:01:00) - Jake's Current Challenges: Balancing Fatherhood, Engineering, and Entrepreneurship (00:04:00) - The Children's Book: Writing Life Lessons for His Unborn Son (00:07:00) - Growing Up Alongside Your Kids (00:10:00) - When Your Kid Mirrors Your Worst Behavior (00:13:00) - The 800-Mile Move That Didn't Fix Everything (00:16:00) - Redefining Success: The REDAC Framework (00:19:00) - Why Your Definition of Success Must Evolve (00:22:00) - The Morning Routine That Saved His Marriage (00:24:00) - Why Working on Yourself Isn't Selfish (00:27:00) - What 40 Roommates Taught About Human Connection (00:30:00) - The Simple Recipe for Human Connection (00:33:00) - Modern Masculinity: Becoming a Man of Value Links And Resources: Website Jake Kennington on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Why Men Need Brotherhood (Not Just Self-Help) with Marc Azoulay

Marc Azoulay, founder of Men's Therapy Online, breaks down why traditional therapy often misses the mark for men and what actually works. Marc shares his journey from impatient entrepreneur to new father, exploring how men can harness their drive without burning out. We dive deep into the millennial man's dilemma—raised to reject toxic masculinity but ending up overly feminized and lacking direction. Marc explains why community and men's groups are essential, how to master the art of knowing when to "pull your sword," and why the modern man must learn to navigate his inner world with the same skill he applies to external challenges. This episode is a blueprint for men seeking to integrate strength with emotional intelligence, responsibility with vulnerability, and power with purpose. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Meaning comes from responsibility and commitment (00:02:43) - The cardinal sin of impatience and becoming a new father (00:06:15) - Men and women are different but equal (00:09:30) - The invisible preventative work men do (00:13:42) - Inner demons: You can't outwork them, you have to face them (00:18:35) - The millennial man's identity crisis: Not our fathers, but who are we? (00:23:12) - Why having children forces you to become a man (00:28:45) - Responsibility isn't a burden—it's a gift that gives life meaning (00:35:17) - Vulnerability as a superpower: The soil doesn't lie (00:40:28) - Stoicism misunderstood: It's not suppression, it's seeing reality as it is (00:46:52) - When to pull your sword: Mastering the proper use of force (00:51:33) - Focus on your biggest weakness, not your strengths Links And Resources: Website: https://menstherapy.online/ Marc Azoulay on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcmazoulay/ Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/ Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

The Fitness Coach Who Gets Why You Keep Failing with Matt Myers

Hector sits down with Matt Myers of Nerd Fitness for what turns into an impromptu coaching session about the real challenges of staying fit as a busy dad and business owner. Matt breaks down why the fitness industry's "just be disciplined" approach fails most people, revealing that success isn't about motivation—it's about clarity, support, and learning to adjust your approach as life changes. They explore the dad bod phenomenon, food noise and GLP-1s, the myth that one fitness modality works for everyone, and why being "fitness agnostic" might be the key to long-term success. Matt shares practical strategies for working out when you only have 5-10 minutes, how to stop the yo-yo cycle of falling on and off track, and why judging yourself for not maintaining your peak fitness routine is counterproductive. This conversation will resonate with any man trying to juggle health, family, and career without losing his mind. Chapters: (00:00:00) - The Power of Self-Compassion in Fitness (00:01:00) - Balancing Work, Family, and Fitness as a Dad (00:04:00) - The Dad Bod Phenomenon and Life's Demands (00:08:00) - Why "Just Be Disciplined" Fails Most People (00:12:00) - Hector's Fitness Journey: From Peak Shape to Reality Check (00:16:00) - Setting Realistic Goals for Your Current Season (00:19:00) - Making Time for Fitness When Business Demands Everything (00:23:00) - Learning to Dial Your Workouts Up and Down (00:27:00) - Why Being Fitness Agnostic Beats Loyalty to One Method (00:34:00) - GLP-1s, Food Noise, and the Future of Fitness Links And Resources: Website Matt Myers on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

How I Learned to Trust My Heart Over My Mind with Gio Bartolomeo

Gio Bartolomeo shares his transformative journey from being a hustling entrepreneur stuck in his head to discovering profound spiritual awakening through breathwork and plant medicine. After years of chasing success and feeling unfulfilled, a death experience during an ayahuasca ceremony showed him there was more to life than material achievement. Through breathwork, particularly after training with Wim Hof, Gio had an out-of-body experience that taught him to get out of his analytical mind and into his heart. He discusses how modern masculinity requires both strength and softness, the importance of men's community, and why following intuition over logic has transformed his life and business. Gio breaks down different types of breathwork practices, explains how to quiet the mind to hear your heart's wisdom, and shares why creativity and authentic expression are the keys to living a fulfilling life. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Gio's out-of-body breathwork experience and rebirth moment (00:03:00) - Wrestling with business scaling and finding authentic purpose (00:05:00) - Discovering spiritual calm amidst global chaos (00:08:00) - The journey from Catholic upbringing to spiritual awakening (00:12:00) - The unfulfilled entrepreneur and the search for meaning (00:14:00) - First ayahuasca ceremony and confronting death (00:17:00) - Meeting Wim Hof and the transformative breathwork experience (00:21:00) - Getting out of your head and into your heart (00:25:00) - Rediscovering intuition and curiosity as a man (00:29:00) - Intention, authenticity, and creating from the heart (00:33:00) - Different types of breathwork: resilience vs. exploration (00:37:00) - Finding your authentic vibration and tribe (00:40:00) - Defining modern masculinity: strength with softness Links And Resources: Website: https://www.elementalrhythm.com/ Gio Bartolomeo on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gio-bartolomeo-1a7b2566/?originalSubdomain=ca Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/ Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

The 3 Men Every Guy Needs (But Most Don't Have) with Larry Pruett

In this episode, Larry Pruett shares hard-won wisdom from 36 years of marriage and 21 years as an entrepreneur. After scaling an e-commerce business to high six figures and now coaching married couples, Larry reveals the critical missing piece in most men's lives: meaningful relationships with other men. He breaks down the fundamental communication differences between men and women, explains why guys need three types of relationships (mentor, peer, and mentee), and shares practical strategies for understanding your spouse without playing guessing games. Larry also discusses the importance of being vulnerable in the right contexts, how to balance business success with home life, and why ancient wisdom still applies to modern relationships. This conversation is packed with actionable advice for men who want to build stronger marriages, deeper friendships, and leave fewer regrets. Chapters: (00:00:00) - The Power of Asking Questions in Relationships (00:01:00) - From High Six Figures to Starting Over: Larry's Journey (00:03:00) - Why Men Need Other Men (Not Just Their Wives) (00:06:00) - The Missing Mentor: How to Find Guidance at Every Life Stage (00:09:00) - What Makes Someone Worthy of Respect? (A Powerful Exercise) (00:11:00) - The Mask Men Wear: When Vulnerability Goes Wrong (00:14:00) - The 3 Types of Relationships Every Man Needs (00:17:00) - Why You Keep Miscommunicating with Your Wife (00:20:00) - The House Analogy: How Men and Women Think Differently (00:23:00) - Stop Playing the Guessing Game (Just Ask Her What She Means) (00:25:00) - The Baked Potato Story: A Perfect Example of Male/Female Communication (00:28:00) - Why Men Jump to Fixing (And When to Just Sit and Listen) (00:31:00) - Modern Masculinity = Ancient Masculinity (Why the Principles Never Change) Links And Resources: Website Larry on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Why Emotional Intelligence Beats Raw Discipline in Leadership with Dr. Barry Davis

Dr. Barry Davis spent 38 years as a college baseball coach before stepping away to write, speak, and consult on leadership and emotional intelligence. In this episode, he opens up about the personal challenges of transitioning from "coach" to a new identity, the evolution of young athletes over four decades, and how his own coaching style transformed from authoritative to emotionally intelligent. Barry shares candid insights about parenting in the age of technology, the importance of self-discipline and excellence in everything we do, and why creating a safe environment for failure is crucial for developing resilient leaders. His new book, "Old Dog New Tricks: The Power of Leading With Emotional Intelligence," tells the story of a volatile coach who must learn to lead differently—a story that mirrors Barry's own journey from a hard-nosed coach to someone who now prioritizes emotional connection, intentional listening, and creating spaces where people can thrive. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Creating Safe Environments for Growth and Challenge (00:01:00) - Introduction and Barry's Coaching Journey (00:03:00) - Challenges in Establishing Routine and Family Connections (00:06:00) - Transitioning Identity from Coach to Speaker (00:10:00) - Three Core Values: Self-Discipline, Excellence, and Fulfillment (00:15:00) - Athletics as Training Ground for Life Skills (00:19:00) - Excellence in the Small Things (00:23:00) - Evolution of Young Athletes Over Four Decades (00:30:00) - Parenting Philosophy and Creating Safe Learning Environments (00:33:00) - Best Parents Stay Outside the Circle (00:37:00) - Finding Your Own Path and Motivation (00:39:00) - Writing "Old Dog New Tricks" and Emotional Intelligence (00:43:00) - Where to Find the Book and Connect Links And Resources: Website: https://drbarrydavis.com/ Dr. Barry Davis on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbarrydavis42/ Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/ Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Why Your Workout Is Wasted (And The Simple Fix) with Nate Palmer

In this deep dive with fitness expert and longtime friend Nate Palmer, we explore the cutting edge of men's health optimization—from peptides and GLP-1s to the fundamentals that most guys ignore. Nate shares his personal journey struggling with injury and mental health while being unable to train, revealing how breath work became his new coping mechanism when physical expression wasn't available. We break down the truth about popular compounds like BPC-157, CJC, and semaglutide, discussing how they work, who should consider them, and why they're the natural evolution in response to our toxic food environment. Nate explains why walking and sleep might be more powerful than any supplement, how to train while fasting without wasting your workouts, and why the aesthetic versus strength debate misses the point entirely. We also get into the controversial world of TRT, the surprising cognitive benefits of creatine and nicotine, and why the next decade will reveal a stark divide between those who take longevity seriously and those who don't. This conversation is packed with actionable insights for any man looking to optimize his health, performance, and aging trajectory. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Why Success Doesn't Protect You From Struggle (00:02:00) - Training as Therapy: Using Physical Expression to Process Life (00:04:00) - When You Can't Train: Finding New Ways to Cope (00:06:00) - The Compound That Cut My Recovery Time in Half (00:09:00) - GLP-1s Aren't Just for Weight Loss: A Response to Modern Food (00:13:00) - The Peptide Categories Every Man Should Understand (00:19:00) - The Unsexy Truth: Walking and Sleep Beat Most Supplements (00:22:00) - Stop Chasing Aesthetics: What Actually Matters for Longevity (00:27:00) - TRT for Your Mind: The Mental Health Benefits No One Talks About (00:32:00) - How to Actually Track What's Working: Blood Work and HRV (00:36:00) - Inside My Daily Stack: What I Take and Why (00:40:00) - Creatine for Your Brain + The Nicotine Conversation (00:42:00) - Training Fasted? You're Probably Wasting Your Effort (00:45:00) - Where to Get Started: Resources and Products Links And Resources: Website Nate Palmer on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Pornography: The Silent Dream Killer Every Man Needs To Hear with Alex Charfen

Alex Charfen returns to share his transformative journey from business optimization to internal healing work. After coaching thousands of entrepreneurs to over $100 million in revenue, Alex took a sabbatical to focus on sexual shadow work, tantric practices, and processing childhood trauma. In this raw conversation, he reveals why men are systematically traumatizing themselves through pornography, how to create genuine emotional safety in relationships (not just physical or financial safety), and why the belief that "50% of your thoughts will always be negative" is fundamentally wrong. Alex explains the critical difference between suppression and containment, shares his experience overcoming abandonment issues through EMDR therapy, and offers practical guidance on rational self-pleasure practices that can rewire decades of conditioning. He challenges modern masculinity narratives and provides a roadmap for men to step into true presence, process their triggers, and create the secure attachment they've been seeking. This episode is essential listening for any man who wants to understand why emotional containment—not fixing, processing, or withdrawing—is the key to everything he wants in life. Chapters: (00:00:00) - The Emotional Safety Women Actually Need (00:03:40) - Why 50% Negative Thoughts Is a Lie You've Been Sold (00:07:15) - Processing Abandonment Issues: From Infant Surgery to Adult Anxiety (00:12:45) - The Four Safety Types (And Why You're Missing the Most Important One) (00:18:30) - Masculine Presence: What "Being Seen and Heard" Really Means (00:25:20) - The Modern Masculinity Crisis: Sharing From the Wound vs. Sharing From Healing (00:30:15) - Sexual Energy Transmutation: What Napoleon Hill Got Wrong (00:38:25) - Pornography's Hidden Cost: Instant Gratification, Hyperstimulation & the Victim Position (00:47:20) - The Rational Self-Pleasure Practice That Changes Everything (00:56:45) - Modern Masculinity Redefined: Presence Over Performance Links And Resources: Website Alex Charfen on LinkedIn Amplafy Media Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

The Attorney Who Refuses to Apologize for Masculine Energy with Tyler Vance

In this raw and unapologetic conversation, first-generation attorney Tyler Vance challenges everything you've been told about modern masculinity. From walking on the car side of the sidewalk to refusing to let political correctness dilute what it means to be a man, Tyler brings an old-school mentality to a generation that desperately needs it. He breaks down why the term "toxic masculinity" has been weaponized against natural male behavior, shares his philosophy on providing and protecting as a man's core purpose, and explains why he sleeps on the door side of the bed. This isn't about going back in time—it's about reclaiming the essential traits that make men valuable partners, fathers, and leaders. Tyler also opens up about navigating the legal world with integrity, the collapse of common sense in modern society, and why he believes most men have lost their sense of purpose. If you're tired of apologizing for being a man, this episode is for you. Chapters: (00:00:00) - Meet Tyler Vance: The First-Gen Attorney Who Refuses to Apologize (00:02:15) - From Courtroom to Content: How Legal Writing Shaped His Voice (00:05:30) - The Death of Common Sense: Why Politics Has Lost Its Mind (00:09:45) - Priced Out: The Cost of Living Crisis Destroying Young Men's Futures (00:14:20) - Old School in a New World: Defending Traditional Masculinity (00:19:10) - Inside the Courtroom: Strategy, Integrity, and Winning Cases (00:25:35) - The Toxic Masculinity Lie: Why Natural Male Behavior Is Under Attack (00:30:15) - The Provider Mentality: Why Real Men Protect and Provide (00:34:40) - Finding Purpose: How Fatherhood Changes Everything for Men (00:37:10) - What It Really Means to Be a Man in 2025 Links And Resources: Tyler Vance on LinkedIn Tyler Vance on Instagram Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Why Some Successful Men Still Feel Empty Inside with Cletus Coffey

Cletus Coffey, former professional athlete turned men's coach, shares his journey from hiding behind athletic identity to discovering authentic masculinity. After a four-year career in the Canadian Football League and Arena Football League, Cletus faced an identity crisis when his career ended at 28. Through two divorces, single fatherhood with three children, and toxic relationships, he learned that true strength comes from vulnerability, not performance. Cletus discusses the epidemic of men suffering in silence, the importance of morning routines for single fathers, how triggers reveal unhealed wounds, and why most men struggle to answer "who are you?" without mentioning career or family. He introduces his Be The Torch program, designed to help men create lives they desire rather than fitting life into their business. This episode tackles the reality of modern masculinity: choosing freedom, vulnerability, and truth over societal programming and the exhausting performance of being someone you're not. Chapters: (00:00:00) - The Single Father's Reality: Morning Routines and Self-Care (00:01:00) - From Pro Athlete to Lost Identity: When Your Career Defines You (00:09:00) - Who Are You Really? The Question Most Men Can't Answer (00:13:00) - The Identity Crisis: Life After Professional Sports (00:18:00) - The Two Deepest Wounds All Men Carry: Abandonment and Worthiness (00:23:00) - Your Triggers Are Mirrors: What's Really Behind Your Anger (00:26:00) - The Morning Routine That Changed Everything for This Single Dad (00:32:00) - Co-Parenting After Divorce: From Anger to Collaboration (00:38:00) - The Difference Between Correction and Criticism in Parenting (00:42:00) - Why Men Are Suffering in Silence and What We Can Do About It Links And Resources: Cletus Coffey's Morning Routine Book a Call with Cletus Cletus on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn Hector Santiesteban on Twitter Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!