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Mind the Gap · March 14 · 8 min

You Know What You Should Do!

Before offering advice, ask a quieter question “You know what you should do.” Five familiar words, usually offered with kindness, sometimes with genuine care. Yet when we hear them, something small inside us can quietly deflate. In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn reflects on the hidden tension inside unsolicited advice. When someone brings us a problem, are they really asking for a solution, or are they asking to be heard? Drawing on his experience as a coach and communicator, Michael explores the difference between fixing and listening, and why the urge to solve someone else’s difficulty may sometimes be about easing our own discomfort. Before the advice arrives, there may be a better question to ask. What does this person actually need from me right now?

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Before offering advice, ask a quieter question

“You know what you should do.”

Five familiar words, usually offered with kindness, sometimes with genuine care. Yet when we hear them, something small inside us can quietly deflate.

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn reflects on the hidden tension inside unsolicited advice. When someone brings us a problem, are they really asking for a solution, or are they asking to be heard?

Drawing on his experience as a coach and communicator, Michael explores the difference between fixing and listening, and why the urge to solve someone else’s difficulty may sometimes be about easing our own discomfort.

Before the advice arrives, there may be a better question to ask.

What does this person actually need from me right now?

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