
I Feel Pretty Much Invisible to My Kid (here's how to spot their backward glance)
Your middle schooler says “leave me alone,” slams the door, or falls apart the second they see you. It can feel like rejection but what if it’s actually a hidden reach? In this episode of Middle Years with Bridget KerMorris, I’m sharing one of the most powerful ideas from my recent workshop, Your Middle Schooler Is Secretly Obsessed With You: the backward glance. That little look your toddler used to give you from across the playground never really disappeared. It just changed form. Now it might look like: “Ugh, I don’t know if I look okay.” falling apart the second they get home “leave me alone” followed by a quiet drift back into the kitchen a slammed door followed by finding a reason to be near you twenty minutes later retelling you the whole story at 10pm after insisting they did not want to talk In this episode, we talk about: why middle schoolers still check for you even when they act like they don’t need you how the backward glance gets disguised during the middle school years why falling apart with you can sometimes be a sign of safety how attachment can look more hidden without becoming less important what to do when your child pushes you away why you don’t need to chase them, but you also don’t need to disappear the difference between healthy distance and distance that may deserve more support The line I want you to carry is this: Your middle schooler is not done with you. They’re checking whether you’re done with them. And when they look back, your answer can be very simple: I’m still here. I’m still glad it’s you. If you want help turning this kind of connection into something you actually practice every day, 30 Days Closer begins September 14. For 30 days: every morning, I’ll text you one small question to ask your middle schooler every Friday, educator Leah Anne Borrell will help you understand and support your child’s life at school every evening at 8:45, I’ll send something just for you, because the parent matters too No streaks. No homework. Nothing to log into. We count asks, not answers. Click here to sign up or text the word CLOSER to 858-389-6745. If this episode changed how you see your middle schooler even a little, send it to another parent who might need the reminder. And if you have a minute, follow Middle Years with Bridget KerMorris and leave a review. It helps the show find the next parent standing outside a slammed door wondering whether they still matter. Click here to find me on Instagram. Click here to sign up for my Parenting in the Middle weekly newsletter.
- Transcript