Lost Cause [Vault Version]

An honest lamentation of an artist's genuine passion meeting inability to afford breaking into the comedy industry through the pay-to-play-channels and challenges presented by the New York City comedy ecosystem, where a heated politically and socioeconomically divided hotbed intersects with the sanitized market-ready time pieces seeking to threaten the very foundations of comedy itself. (Give me a dollar— times 5 for a tight five, times 5) You are the most beautiful cartoon that I have ever breathed upon to bring to life; I love your dreams, your people, circle of friends and fam, and even your wife Ain’t that about a knife in the back?! Been addicted to cracking up, over a guilty habit: Run, rabbit, run— But when I heard the starting gun, I realized I was in my underwear I shouldn’t care, I— I’m probably in a nightmare I’ll wake up in a second but Truth is, I’d say semi lucid Just a couple more seconds in a night terror As long as it had you there (How does this make human sense???) It doesn’t, At this point, I’m guessing I’m an alien or something Cause I’m mailing in a sandwich wrapped in raps Over a fuckin puppet Uh-oh, I made it grow the wooden nose, But didn’t know it was much to close to the fire to roast Only the marshmallow, and now the boy is just an inferno Its delivery, not Dijourno, cause I don’t want no cardboard Just oak wood; Get it? (Give me a dollar times 5–for a tight five, times 5) I really wrote this show, and it gets so good, Innit? God is so Won’t stop with this Wonka, it’s all a gobstopper; I saw a gobbler at the park, and hadn’t thought of em, Till big brother brought it up, all over a bottle of Bourbon Poshmark; modern, urban— I found him on the curb man, That is what is so disturbing And God-dern awful, Aw shucks, I probably should have called him Nostradamus; Cause his nose is gorgeous, But also, He’s got a broadcast consciousness, And raunchy enough stuff comes out of the box I watch it on I have to wonder What the fuck’s this motherfucker working for the dark lord, I hope not! Woah Lorne, It just got Awkward, Hitchcock, Alfred, Armisen— I thought I saw a wrist-watch Every Saturday, I go to grand central station Or as church lady would say SATAN?! Isn’t that special? Contemplating my existence; I been praying for me to finally find a way to break in; I hate making fake friends, every night-open mics, Alt-right showcases, fresh faces with braces, rich kids with racist Parents I can’t even compare with them cause i keep on seeing bear in them, I swear I care, I’m just a little ill prepared, is all This one is not as much a riddle as it is A fucking lost cause Started on a cartoon, now I’m watching Fox News If you wear a posh suit, it’s likely I will watch, you, too Tune in for just a second Sit down in your audience and write another record Too bad they don’t give brownie points or A-for-fuckin effort in 8-H I’m seeking a mate, eh But cancelled a date today, and only an eight SUNNI BLŪ (A seven in LA) but Hey, what the fuck this place is crazy; It’s not even like “everybody hates me” Cause No one cares. Noone cares in New York Everybody’s got their own stuff going on Everybody works, And these are just words, But if my love could turn to dollars— I would be the richest person on earth Lost Cause Give me a dollar times five For a bucket mic Lost Cause It costs to be a comic, So fuck it I’ll stay home and just watch Saturday Night And write this. (Give me a dollar times 5 for a tight five, times 5) Lost Cause