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Artwork for Me, Myself, and I.
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Me, Myself, and I.

Sunnï Blu Stone

After an enormous writing catharsis and extreme strike of inspiration which has lasted for five years, following an eight year writer's block an artist finds herself drowning in the massive amount of largely incomplete and unpublished works she has created; hundreds of thousands of documents, worlds within worlds, catalogues of music, and series of novels--as her inner worlds and outer worlds begin to mesh and collide into a self-fulfilling prophecy of instant manifestation, the worlds and characters of her fictional works taking on lives of their own in the real world.

{Enter The Multiverse}



[The Festival Project.™]



COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

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  • 20 episodes
  • Avg 51 min
  • English
  • Monday · 3 min

    Baddie Iz Famous. (Unc Edit)

    EXT. NIGHTCLUB / ALLEYWAY - NIGHT A booming beat drops. SUNNI BLU (played by TRACY MORGAN) holds the mic mid-cypher outside the back entrance. SUNNI BLU Other witches stay in the chat, But me, I’m different. This is the world I been living in: I’m in the club right now, Camouflage pants and Illuminati fitted. Ain’t no wigs getting snatched, We in the back right now. It’s a movie, In the second act right now. I ain’t gotta think back right now, Matter of fact right now, Roll a fattie right now, Get smacked right now, if you want, but Ain’t no wigs getting snatched right now. Other witches stay in the chat, But me, I’m different. Matter of fact; I just wrote a rap right now! This is the world I been living in. OK; Three times, Three times: Mitch McConnell throwing up the peace sign. Now I got three times on me, Got a one-track diamond mind though, Shawty outside though, Vibes all the time though— NATALIE NUNN Blu, shut up. SUNNI BLU What? I don’t unc ninja, I am just a unc witcha. I been on some unc shit, Prolly roll a blunt ish, I be on some Bundt shit, That is no assumption. Peepin' on corruption On a brunch and luncheon. Y’all been in the lunchroom, I been eating munch, dude. What? NATALIE NUNN Blu, shut up! ANDY SAMBERG IMPRESSION OF LORNE MICHAELS (deadpan cadence) Anything can happen at brunch! Doooo! SUNNI BLU More camouflage, Got a mister in a smock; More camouflage, Star Trek, call me Spock. More camouflage, Park the car, I spin the block. Turn the cameras off, Bend it over, Gonna fuck. I be fly like a bird, I flock 'em. Skrilla, I’m awesome. Talk show, Like I’m Emmy Rossum. Plot twist, Sike, nah, I got options. I just went shopping, ’Bout to take a bunch of rocks… –to the Plaza! ’Cause I’m on my God shit. I ain’t no house, I’m progressive experiment. I just bought a house in Malibu, Oh. I’m ’bout to buy me a Barbie And find me a hobby, End up in the lobby just flaunting. Uh, Every house I go is haunted. I’m ghost, Probably French 'cause I’m toasted, yeah. French, I’m Montana, Not Hannah, But been on my Peloton, Yeah. That is a deep cut. I do some deep glottal, That’s not a secret. I am a seeker, Avid Reader. I am Leader Of the free world. Once you see me, You won’t need her. Ahahahaha! I got chin-checked, I am Natalie Nunn. Write me a check And then go for a run. Smoke me a Brunson, Bake me a bundt Cake. She mad at me 'cause her butt Fake. I got up midnight on Mon- Day, I’m On One. You mad, Huh? I’m Kanye! Let me be Frank Ocean, I got blonder. Go on a walk to the Whole Foods, Picking up some water. I been on Wall Street, You cannot stop me. I own a Walmart; I run the country. President Trump wanna hug me ’Cause I got junk in the trunkee, And money in the trust, eh? Chunky-Monkey, Monkey Bread: EE! See me on hump day; Since you want to, Humpty-Dumpty. I been on some luck-wish, Call me Sukihana. You know what I want: Peanut Butter. Ahaha! I am a Lost Cause, Licking on your bal-wals. Hakuna Matata Like I am a warthog. I don’t need a bottle, But I want a bag though. I been on some gay bliss, But I’m not a fag though. I been on some fan ish, But I got fans though. I been on some bad shit, Call me Michael Jackson. Yessir, an asshole, Present, not a past though. I been on SNAP, Crackle-pop, Head of the household. NATALIE NUNN ...I am... so confused. MYSTIC (V.O.) (ethereal incantation) You don’t belong, Just come and go... Although we share a common goal. SUNNI BLU pulls out a glossy photograph of JIMMY KIMMEL and thrusts it directly before Natalie. SUNNI BLU Have you seen this man?! NATALIE NUNN doesn’t respond, only squinting in a sort of angry, drunken confusion—looking immaculate, nonetheless. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) That’s fine. What about this one? SUNNI BLU whips out a headshot of JAY LENO. NATALIE squints again, registering a flash of visceral recognition. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) Of course you have. That’s your fatha. SUNNI BLU tosses both photos to the pavement. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) You can keep that. NATALIE NUNN is reality television’s most notorious and high-profile SHAPESHIFTER, whose current extraterrestrial identity is unknown; this may be a deep-cover agent, or perhaps even a high-ranking intergalactic government official using NATALIE as its current host. Some extraterrestrials are trademarked by their extremely high tolerance for alcohol consumption and hybrid human appearance. SUNNI BLU (TRACY MORGAN) has been in hot pursuit of a highly volatile shapeshifting aviary, last known to have been seen with the entity CHAOS, who often conforms as the high-profile television personality JIMMY KIMMEL, whose actual true identity remains unknown. These entities are notorious for multiversal structure decomposure and material construction through the consumption and distribution of "intoxicant substances"—drugs and spirits which alter the perception of the human body and mind, allowing the multi-billion-century-long war to carry on in multilateral intergalactic directions across charted and uncharted territories of the cosmic grid. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) You’re right. I don’t fit in. NATALIE NUNN You’re lost! SUNNI BLU What? NATALIE NUNN You’re lost, right? SUNNI BLU Listen, Nat, I know your script is not normally printed on paper and shit, but— NATALIE NUNN It still isn’t. I just get the digital— SUNNI BLU That’s enough lessons. NATALIE NUNN Huh? What? SUNNI BLU You’re lost, right? Suddenly, NATALIE seems genuinely confused. SUNNI BLU hurries off into the night, somewhat lifted, and grimaces, chuckling under her breath an evil and sort of maniacal laugh. INT. SURVEILLANCE QUARTERS - CONTINUOUS TWO INTERGALACTIC AGENTS—high-ranking alien operatives embedded on Earth, disguised in standard casual attire—sit in front of a flat-screen monitor, surveillance feeds running alongside an intercepted terrestrial television broadcast of "Enter The Multiverse." AGENT 1 What just happened? AGENT 2 I think they just shifted. AGENT 1 No, they switched. AGENT 2 What? I don’t get this. AGENT 1 They switched it. AGENT 2 With WHAT? I don’t GET this! {Enter The Multiverse} ON SCREEN: The entity masquerading as NATALIE NUNN continues its erratic frequency discharge, stumbling across the club perimeter with hyper-accelerated cadence. BLU THA GURU Woah, Baddie is famous, Catch me outside though, I am DRUNK. Bitch, it’s Monday morning, Why the fuck you in the club? ’Bout to get a bag And maybe open up a pub. I be feeling good, Just having coffee in my cup. I don’t pay the tab, I be chilling in the tub. I got lots of luck, Eh, I get lots of love, Ey, Twisting up my locs, Ey. I be calling Cops On the ops, Shut that dog up! If I even show up at the place, Then I got product! I keep a code of conduct, Do it for the bag, But you won’t see me with a product. I ain’t tryna fuck with n***as, If I need a confirm, I’m not Natalie for now, but cross 'cause I’m a nun-nun. AGENT 1 LOL, that’s enough. AGENT 2 I agree. BLU THA GURU This ain’t no fun no more, I lost too much weight so I can’t run no more. Ain’t got a number though, I’m on the honor roll. I might rent a yacht And end up in the harbor though. BITCH, I WANT SOME PIZZA! ’Bout to call the plug, It’s Monday morning, Finna re-up. Bitch, I did a relay, I got married with a prenup. Call that n***a Charlie Brown ’Cause he be on some peanuts. I can’t chase a motherfucker, Bitch, I need some PENIS. Bring them in a Cadillac And send them in a PRIUS. They be on some slavery, But I been tryna FREE US. I been on the KETO, Keep them bagels in the FREEZER. Bitch, it’s Monday morning, What you doing in the club? BACK TO THE MONITOR ROOM: The two AGENTS track the sub-vocal audio waves, cross-referencing biometric signatures against cosmic mainframe records. AGENT 1 You’re right. That’s not Ms. Nunn. AGENT 2 They switched it. AGENT 1 Correct. AGENT 2 And by "they," you mean—? AGENT 1 He. AGENT 2 So it is him. AGENT 1 Facts. AGENT 2 What do you think he wants? AGENT 1 He’s trying to find the other Tritarians. AGENT 2 How do you know that? AGENT 1 ...I recently found out... I may be Tritarian. AGENT 2 —So you have a connection? AGENT 1 Negative. I’ve been taking some side work decrypting languages for the fourth chapter of the Pritherion Hyphex. AGENT 2 So you have access to Tritarian knowledge vaults by right of passage. Interesting genetics. AGENT 1 Maybe. AGENT 2 Well, I stand corrected. Maybe you aren’t hopeless after all. AGENT 1 No, I’m hopeless. Useless, maybe not. AGENT 2 Don’t get ahead of yourself. AGENT 1 —I’m not. A beat. AGENT 1 (CONT'D) Or—I won’t. [The Festival Project ™] MUSIC CUE: "Lady Madonna" (The Beatles - Love Version) plays as the scene transitions: MONTAGE. INT. STUDIO 8H - SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - NIGHT JIMMY FALLON pays a visit to the SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE set, taking in the environment with candor and nostalgia. Suddenly, an OBJECT arcs across Studio 8H and hits Jimmy Fallon square in the face. KAM PATTERSON (O.S.) Ten points! ASHLEY PADILLA What IS that?! JEREMY CULHANE (nervous laughter) Ahahahahah! The object lands on the floor. UPON CLOSER INSPECTION, it appears to be a freshly severed HUMAN HEART JANE WICKLINE Um. I think it’s— ASHLEY PADILLA Don’t touch that. JEREMY CULHANE We’re not going to tell anybody about this. JANE WICKLINE ...Is it still beating?! JEREMY CULHANE Shh. Shut up. KAM PATTERSON What are you doing with it? JEREMY CULHANE With what? [beat] KAM PATTERSON (blank faced) ...With what? JANE WICKLINE 👀 DJ NOTES: {ADHD DISTRACTION IMMINENT} Internet friends><>Star Wars><>< Animals, Martin Garrix ... but I think I’ve already done that exact mix already. MEANWHILE INT. JEREMY'S DRESSING ROOM / PARNASSUS LAB PROFESSOR PARNASSUS (played by JEREMY CULHANE) stands maniacally over THE HEART in his makeshift alchemical lab, as it beats with a GLOWING GREEN AURA from its assembled GATE. He leans in closer, drooling at the prospect of his most recent capture; he not only believes it to be, but knows it is indeed the famed HEART OF ION OF ITHIOS lore; a folk legend, but now his own, residing in his lab. His SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE castmate SAIDA enters, after a couple of knocks at the door. Suddenly the lighting shifts, as he is taken off guard. SAIDA Um. JEREMY CULHANE Hey. (clears throat) Ahem. [I mean] Oh, hiiiii. SAIDA Yeah. JEREMY CULHANE Ahem. Yeah. SAIDA So you have an evil lab in your dressing room? JEREMY CULHANE (shrugs) It came like this. SAIDA OK. Mine has antlers on the wall; I’m trying to know how to feel about that. JEREMY CULHANE Disingenuous, perhaps. SAIDA I agree. He fails to turn around, deflated, still hovering over the glowing heart with his instruments. SAIDA (CONT'D) ...Are you coming to lunch? JEREMY CULHANE ...Yes. SAIDA (deadpan) All right. JEREMY CULHANE ’K. SAIDA All right. JEREMY CULHANE OK. SAIDA All right. SAIDA exits, shutting the door gently and turning around. INT. 8H HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS KENAN THOMPSON is directly behind her, almost miraculously. KENAN THOMPSON He has it. SAIDA Yes. KENAN THOMPSON Perfect. Follow me to my chambers. SAIDA I ordered lunch. KENAN THOMPSON IT WILL WAIT. SAIDA sighs, disgruntled, and follows KENAN; they lift their HOODED ROBES in synchronicity. {Enter The Multiverse} EXT. ISLES OF YUM - DAY A herald sounds an alarm from the battlement. HERALD THE DUKE ARCHIBALD OF NEVERWHETHER HAS ARRIVED! CHAMBERLAIN YOUR MAJESTY! AT ONCE, READY THE EMPIRE! SOLDIER BUT—Your Majesty! CHAMBERLAIN AT ONCE! Before— PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG enters rapidly, her royal attire trailing behind her. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG WHEA IS HEH?! CHAMBERLAIN —Where is whom?! SOLDIER Your Majesty— CHAMBERLAIN Ugh, Sire. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG WHEA IS THE DUKE, ARCHIBALD?! CHAMBERLAIN Ahem, descending quickly, Your Triumph. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG UNREMARKABLE. CHAMBERLAIN Agreed, Your Royal— PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG I MUST REBUKE HIM AT ONCE! CHAMBERLAIN Your Highness. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG AT ONCE! CHAMBERLAIN Ahem, very well. High above, JANE WICKLINE flaps her wings and defends from the cavernous rooftop hideaway. JANE WICKLINE Okays. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™ ] © Copyright The Complex Collective Unstoppable.Co

  • Monday · 3 min

    Jimmy Kimmel Live! In Brooklyn - Pt. II.

    Written, Produced and Composed by C'cxell Soleïl Jimmy Kimmel Live! In Brooklyn Cypher Pt. II Hahaha. I’m up under the plug I put the stuff under the rug and then I gave my love a hug Cause I knew I would never see the best of him I wonder what would happen if the glove fit; Perhaps the earth would suddenly turn perfect And the dirt out back where dirt is I got the rumble of the subway under my feet I got the children or the whole world under my teet I got a number in my notebook that I’m trying to meet I’m stuck on repeat, cause I eat the teeth of the week My knot’s ruthless; I showed you rubies but I didn’t mean to do this So don’t approach if you don’t wear those broaches, I used to live with roaches, And now I got teams of the people looking for me Asking where the coach is Not a purse I put a problem in reverse and Made his humor even worse Heard a rumor he divorced But didn’t hear you heard it first from me, I made a gallery of secrets, But subliminally leaked it I don’t own not a one Prada I got a lot of problems, But I ain’t get a therapist to talk about em Bout to put a rock inside a fountain and then light it up I write it up and hide a book inside of dem I'm in the center of a circle of snakes; The only mistake I seem to make Is being sacred They Tried me set me up with butter faces and balloons l But paid attention to the tunes That I was writing dude since citing Blu I had to spend a night or two inside of you True or false. False. Where the fuck’s the motherfucking sauce? I want some pasta; I’m on another lost cause Probably finna boss, Cause I been on one Bout to shop at Ross I’m on the west coast Where the fuck’s my French toast Ordered up a trauma One a billion off a crop duster, Conspiracy, You probably can’t hear this You keep on getting near to me But I go ear to ear with them Jimmy crack corn And also Pornography Hahas again. Never forget I’m interested in the architecture. It almost never what’s inside This morning I think I died, Just knowing I would sit in this line In mu own mind, Wasting my whole time Inside a notebook Feeling like I’m lying to myself, To say that I’ve been healthy, More like happier than ever; Which I’ve realized, isn’t even happy at all I’m in a fight over motorcycles for Christ sakes This just isn’t right ey, I can’t wait to Friday Cause I got a Craving for Satan. I may forget my ibuprofen aspirin Every now and then But we were never friends, and it depends what kind of world your in on whether this will make a difference Or just begin another lesson, This is part of the regression, I was bound to get in a wreck Or in a fender bender At one point or another The dirty motherfucker cut me off And didn’t have his blinker on And wreaked of vodka Everytime he speaks to me Or he responds He’s really on some other shit I think a fucking astronaut or something Cause I was dreaming Or screaming for your consciousness I’m optionless and watching reruns of Oprah Stuck inside this opera house like hostages Cause I’m a fucking moron, Colin, Pull the plug I’m Jost a Scarlet Joe- Hanson, as Tom is. September 30, 2026. [The Festival Project]{Enter The Multiverse} -Lost Cause.

  • Monday · 4 min

    Jimmy Kimmel Live! In Brooklyn Cypher, Part I.

    Written, Produced and Composed by C'cxell Soleïl Jimmy Kimmel Live! In Brooklyn Cypher Pt. I "Maybe It's Your Longitude, Or your laugh-ti-tude" September 30, 2026. [The Festival Project]{Enter The Multiverse} -Lost Cause.

  • October 4 · 1 hr 7 min

    Lost Cause: More Secrets.

    EXT. SKYLINE / ETHER - NIGHT A glimmer of light.Shimmering waves of silver and grey; Suddenly flushed with boredom, I mull over my own subconscious amoral Hemisphere of hemoglobin —A Closer Look. WRITER 1 (O.S.)I TOLD YOU ITS PRONOUNCED TEEEEEMOOOOOO!!!OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN, JIMMY FALLON Well fuck you, I hate you. New Character: Stripper named Mahogany Rayne MAHOGANY RAYNEIT'S BRITNEY, BITCH. WRITER 1 (O.S.)Oh shit, it really is. WRITER 2 (O.S.)I Kno. {enter the multiverse} COSMOOh no. This feels good. WANDAWhat’s wrong?? COSMOI thought we broke up. WANDAWe did technically broke up. COSMOOkay!Okay: WANDAI need a minute. MYSTICMy heart is heavy, My breath is shallow, This six knives which I foreshadowed nineFor still my heart, with that And oath my blood but knowledge forth, For trade and honor!Lies! Beneath your widow’s peak and salted ash, For ice became my fortune; True to mark for once,I hold you son, and then forgotten Slide my own and murky weathered praise within your virgo’s cosmic force, And this became her axe and slaughtered that, Becomes my curse, so bury that below my grave And alter what I knowe’th, for this I mark,My horse and stables to your iodine, Now become I, mine ,Become my mind and carry wayward trips, With such does melt within thy lips and eyes, As mine, my blood, and draining in your corpses, Run from tithered bond is mine, my own, And then became my last; No force of lust or love but life would draw thy blood But then my own as murder with your hands, again my axe, I have, But ask of you one poet.My love. I am betrayed again you half my wit,And thought eith lies as does betray you in my focus; Then, there, whispered ties I bond, And truth my proof with axel in my surface. Wood, and brine, with blood and wine, Did I dear suffer in dine Hollywood with eleganceFor there her feast had flooded with your waiting,And our purpose, Give now, my force, with want denied, And now, my blood, though withered and your foreign, Drift away with where depart your time from our adrift, Her eyes I had becometh. And now, I mark, our eyes and timesNot one, but all our eyes become What mind had ba’erd here truth with time Shall force her waves to change, and then her current. Sift now through these things, And then with leaning eyed did wander I, (Eye) To want and now became her luck, and force of doves, So shoot into the sky with such devout and then encumbered; But O, I am awakened in her arching back and truth with knives does split into my veins!Again I slandered by to find and thine to trust, And thrust with wander in my thighs and without judgement. Then with night did come as I, Not with but far and battered in my warrant; And oh did friends make I with also friends and kinFor there within in discouraged banter, bark embark or banter in my flurries waves of force, and so once dead And I did slumber. Amen —A Time. [the festival project ™] WRITER (O.S.)Ok that’s three times Lorne, what do you want? LORNEWell, I’m a company man. WRITER (O.S.)I don’t know what that means, suits. V.O.Unfortunately, I had a feeling though, since I’d wondered, I’d soon be finding out. INT. WHATEVER. UGH. Ace. The Ace of Spades again. I just— don’t understand. There was a pain and heaviness in my chest, And anytime I looked at it for long enough to feel myself and realize what I was doing, I would begin to panic. What was this anxiety? INT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA STUDIO 8H. DAY WRITERHey Lorne. LORNEHello. WRITERI heard you had a place… LORNEWhich place? WRITERA place where um..I can—- I can scream? LORNEOh, yes. WRITERYes? LORNEMy “Screaming Place”. WRITEROkay… LORNEI’ll send a car. WRITER…alright. Thanks. [later] WRITERHey dude. What’s up. COLLEAGUENothin—Um, WRITERWhat’s up. COLLEAGUEUm. Lorne let me use his “screaming place” WRITERYeah? Nice. COLLEAGUE—it was nice. WRITERI bet. COLLEAGUEBut now, he keeps asking me do weird favors. WRITERSo do them. COLLEAGUEYeah but— [more seriously, staring him directly in the eyes.] WRITERDo them. “ Enter The Lipowitz, Part I.” ‘The Screaming Place’ INT. LORNE'S OFFICE - 1977 - NIGHT LORNEThe Ace— Again! PAUL SIMONHey Lorne! Whatcha doin’? LORNEPlaying cards! Or I thought I was. PAUL SIMONWhat do you mean? LORNEShuffle those for me. PAUL SIMONWell, alright. LORNEReal good; and I mean it. PAUL SIMONSlow down, fellow! What’s got you all riled up? LORNEA race against time! PAUL SIMONJust shuffle, alright? LORNEGot it. [beat] PAUL SIMONThat should do it. LORNEYou’re an expert marksman, aren’t you? PAUL SIMONWell, I suppose— why? LORNEBecause I might have you take me out and shoot me after this. PAUL SIMONWhy!? LORNEDepends on the card. PAUL SIMONAlright. LORNEAlright. I draw it. PAUL SIMONAlright. LORNEAlright. Now. Throw the deck away. PAUL SIMONThe entire deck?! LORNEYes! PAUL SIMONIt’s a brand new pack of cards! LORNEI know it! I bought them! I bought all nine of them on the desk behind you! [he hadn’t noticed] PAUL SIMONFor what?! LORNENevermind that. lol at Seth Meyers looking like a whole Keebler elf retirement party. Yo tell your friend let his grays grow out. (Psh, Up and downstairs, if you don’t mind.) PAUL SIMONI don’t like you. LORNEI know why, PAUL SIMONYou want me to— LORNEJust— yes! PAUL SIMONWell alright, but I’ve seen Carson do card magic, and I tell you, one bit I don’t like it— LORNEJust toss the cards. PAUL SIMONAlright, alright. [he tosses the deck of cards into the waste basket] PAUL SIMON (CONT'D)So? LORNENow. PAUL SIMONTake this card. LORNEAlright. [he does] PAUL SIMONNow what? LORNENow I’m leaving. PAUL SIMONWhere to? LORNEDepends on the card. PAUL SIMONWhat’dya— LORNEDon’t tell me. Not yet. [he puts on his jacket and leaves] PAUL SIMON(Throwing up his arms) Comedians! JOHNNY CARSON has appeared from out of nowhere, in passing from outside of the office. JOHNNY CARSONMagicians, more like. PAUL SIMONJesus, Goddammnit, Johnny!You scared me! JOHNNY CARSONDid I? PAUL SIMONDon’t creep behind me like that! JOHNNY CARSONLike what? [beat] PAUL SIMONNevermind. Suddenly, the desk on the phone rings. He looks at the phone, then quickly back up— JOHNNY CARSON has vanished. He takes an exasperated sigh. PAUL SIMON (CONT'D)Geez Louise… The phone continues to ring. He answers it. PAUL SIMON (CONT'D)Lorne Michaels Office. LORNEHi. It’s Lorne. PAUL SIMON(With sarcastic sweetness)Oh, Hi, Lorne. LORNEHello: Quick— you’ve got the card? PAUL SIMONOf course. LORNETell me what it is. PAUL SIMONWhat is this about? LORNEI don’t know. PAUL SIMONYou’re getting too old for this. PRESENT/OLD LORNE appears behind 1970’s LORNE, smiling and waving; he looks over his shoulder at his future self. 1970'S LORNEDon’t I know it… PAUL SIMONYou tell me! 1970'S LORNEI can’t tell you much of anything right now, erhm— But do me the favor; which card is it that you have in your hand? He takes another disgruntled sigh. PAUL SIMONIt’s An Ace. Lorne’s bright round eyes stay wide but begin to darken; he peers forward into the crowded city street from the telephone box— A phone booth I know what its called! —Phone booth. He then looks behind him peering frightened over his shoulder; the old man has vanished. WRITERS ROOM (O.S.)Run, Jimmy— Run! 1970'S LORNE—what? Suddenly his voice is low and cold, his eyebrows tilted in with a disastrous confusion. 1970'S LORNE (CONT'D)Ace of what? PAUL SIMONUh– Spades. 1970'S LORNEThanks. PAUL SIMONAlri–[A Third and Final Exasperated Sigh.] He places the card on the desk and leaves the office. Before he can even get a word out, Lorne’s clearly hung up the payphone, slamming it into its receiver with a respectable amount of control–it still rings out with a slight chirp as he turns around, frustrated, facing the city street behind him. It begins to rain. Suddenly, He realizes that where the man was standing just before, behind him but now just a head and a step away from the phone booth, something appears to have been left on the ground. Thunder and lightning strike in the distance, and the wind begins to blow; the sky is suddenly much darker and much greyer. As the rain comes down harder by the second, Lorne pulls his trenchcoat around him tighter and pulls up the collar to try to protect him from the weather–it does no use, but still be forces himself into the walkway just off of the plaza, from where he can see the light in his office go out just in time enough to bend over to the ground and find that what’s appears to have been left on the ground by the old man–which he’d easily identified as himself for a time–is, of course, None other than the card itself. CUT BACK TO INT. LORNE’S OFFICE. 197X ROCKEFELLER PLAZA. The light turns out and the door has been shut behind the last to leave the office for the night.That office, anyway. The Office of The Beloved Lorne Michaels. The Year is 1977. (Or Something Like that) The card which has been left facing upwards at the corner of the desk glows in the darkness if only for a moment before sinking into the dark wood of the fine oak desk, and vanishing entirely. In the pouring rain, Lorne holds the card in his hand, now sort of calm and overcome with enchantment. He hails a taxi in the rain, –which works for him, because he is a wealthy white man. Montage: We see that it has fallen into a dark and moonlit night and though the rain has subsided, Lorne drives his car along a long and wooded route; He is somewhere far, far away now from the city, with the window down and the wind blowing his long brown hair dry. The road winds up a mountain and a he drives the woods and trees and rivers, streams, and even the sky full of stars becomes soon the golden drenched morning of a country mountainside–He continues to drive, and drive, and drive–eventually finally reaching a thick forrest in the wilderness, parking his car, and then walking. He walks, and walks, and walks–and walks, calmly and with refrain, until finally–nothing. Nothing but nature, the trees, the ground, the sky and forrest surrounds him. Finally, he lets out a small sigh and lets his shoulders relax for a brief moment, before just the slightest clenching of his fists gives way to a possible forfeiture of serenity, in fact– Silence. Birds scatter into the skies. A scared deer pounces away and frolics for its life. Somewhere in the distance, a farmer sitting on his porch with his shotgun for no apparent reason is sure he’s just heard something. He can’t be sure. It was faint– but just in case, he cocks his gun and stays on guard. Hm. Lorne, having just let out an unfathomable sound, stands now calmly and quietly alone in the wilderness. He decides he likes this place. It is a very good place. It is a place far away from the city, and the people–The good people, who cannot hear him from here: This place is nowhere, or was–But it’s somewhere now. He thinks he may buy this land, and build something here. Not a house. But a place. Just a place. A place that will be there for when he needs this–Not often, but sometimes. Sometimes. This is The Screaming Pl[ace.] INT. 30 ROCK - CORRIDOR - DAY TINA FEY So YOU Did this? JIMMY FALLON I didn’t do ANYTHING! AMY POEHLER That’s right you didn’t! JIMMY FALLON What? Shut up! TINA AND AMY (In Unison) No, YOU shut up, JImmy! (Also in unison) Jinx! You owe me a soda. TINA Gross. I don’t drink “soda” JIMMY Since when TINA–Anymore. JIMMYAHA! TINA Shut up! This is your fault! JIMMY How is it MY fault?! SMASH CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE GREEN ROOM - 1950S - DAY YOUNG JOHNNYIs this your card? JOHNNY CARSONNO. YOUNG JOHNNYDarn it. JOHNNY CARSONJust keep at it, you’ll get it. YOUNG JOHNNYNo i wont. I’ll never be The Great Carsoni! JOHNNY CARSONSure you will! In fact; you’ll be even more than that. You’ll be even greater. YOUNG JOHNNYWhat’s greater than being a magician? [beat] He looks into the bright and sparkling eyes of his young self. JOHNNY CARSONI’m glad you asked. [Meanwhile, the two are being watched by another pair from around the corner MICHAEL CHE and COLIN JOST have arrived only moments ago in the time machine. MICHAEL CHEYo, is that him–?? COLIN JOSTIt is! MICHAEL CHEWith himself!? COLIN JOSTYep! MICHAEL CHETalk about “playing with yourself”! COLIN JOSTEugh! Could you NOT? MICHAEL CHEIt was right there, man! COLIN JOSTUgh, Shut up! Director’s Note: Lol they can fight over whose line is whose OR we’ll shoot it twice for more dimension. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™ ] © Copyright The Complex Collective

  • October 3 · 1 hr 10 min

    Lost Cause: Live! On The Grid

    Ahdgh. SONA enters, clutching her left ribcage. She appears to have been STABBED. Don’t say stabbed. For all I know, that might happen. Fucking magical idiots. Imbiciles! You know what. You’re right. I’ll fix it, She is [quite obviously] WOUNDED. DAVID Sona! Hello. SONA Yeah. DAVID You look nice. SONA I always do. DAVID Except you have a little something on your— [he realizes her wound] DAVID Oh. SONA Yeah. DAVID …should I ask, or? SONA He stabbed me again. DAVID —Conan?! SONA Who else would keep stabbing me? DAVID You’re right. SONA Could you— ? DAVID Certainly. He exits, leaving SONA to her own accord; She removes a small wrap of sorts from a cabinet above the pantry, pulling with her teeth, before activating it, reaching for what appears to be a WAND before wrapping it around herself; she partially collapses on the counter and takes a sigh of relief, before pointing the wand briefly at her ailments; she only begins to heal barely when suddenly, she hears her employer— and magical companion— working his way in. She takes a sigh of dilapidated defeat, calling out. SONA Ugh— don’t come in here! CONAN Are you serious? How long could this be taking? It’s just a stab wound. SONA I’m not ready for you yet. CONAN I would have thought for you to be halfway up the canyons by now. SONA — through the same place twice. CONAN What if I use my wand? Would that be making any difference? It’s quicker. SONA It is. CONAN So it’s settled then. SONA Well, go ahead then. CONAN —I don’t have it. SONA Then why did you say anything—?! CONAN I was just affirming it’s quickness. SONA Are you serious CONAN It is superior. SONA Forget it, I’m already finished. CONAN Well then—I guess I’m useless. SONA You’re an idiot. CONAN Did it leave a scar? SONA Probably. Last time it did. CONAN looks at his CANE SWORD with a dignified approval. CONAN That is nice, then. Remind me to send a thank you gift for him. SONA I already did. CONAN (Scoffs) Well, that’s ironic; didja consider whether you’d be getting stabbed with it? SONA [Yeah] —I contemplated. CONAN Go get cleaned up. You look disheveled. SONA just groans and raises herself from atop the counter. GORLEY enters with a boba tea. GORLEY He stabbed you again. SONA Masterful observation. SONA exits, healed but, barely. GORLEY I wish I had magic. CONAN Me too. Then I’d stab you. GORLEY giggles and sips his boba tea. GORLEY Well then, kinda glad I don’t. CONAN quickly whips around and zaps him with his wand, oblitherating his BOBA TEA. CONAN (Mumbles smugly) Can’t fix that with magic. CONAN strides away. GORLEY sighs. He is covered in delicious BOBA tea, however the BOBA has spread across the floor. DAVID returns and stands at the doorway. DAVID Oh. {Enter The Multiverse} “The Secret Life of Sona” SUNNI BLŪ has just purchased a house nestled quaintly in the vacinity of former late night host CONAN O’BRIEN, and is alarmed that he is huge, has bright red hair, and can frequently enough be seen JOGGING that it IRKS her. SUNNI BLŪ YO, WHAT. AGH. [LATER] UGH. [AGAIN] UFGH. —!! MORGAN. [HANNAH EINBEINDER] MORGAN What. What. SUNNI BLU What is this. MORGAN What is what? SUNNI BLU What’s this. MORGAN What are you pointing at. [CONAN O’BRIEN JOGGING, PANTING] SUNNI BLU How can you not see that?! MORGAN See what! What am I looking at?! [she points out the window at CONAN jogging by.] MORGAN …that man? SUNNI BLU Is that a “man"? MORGAN Um… yeah? I…yeah, I think that’s Conan O’ Brien, actually. SUNNI BLU Ah. You know him. MORGAN No? SUNNI BLU (gesturing to red-headedness) He’s your kind. MORGAN Uhh—- [she shakes her head, then looks back toward the window] MORGAN CONT’D Oh, you mean redheaded. SUNNI BLU That’s…exactly what I meant. MORGAN I thought you meant white. SUNNI BLU You are white. MORGAN Yeah but— SUNNI BLU [a blank stare] MORGAN CONT’D Nevermind. SUNNI BLU So you know him. MORGAN Uhh—I mean, I know of him–yeah– SUNNI BLU He’s your uncle or something. MORGAN –??? SUNNI BLU I see the resemblance. MORGAN 👀 [SUNNI grabs a bottle of vodka from the cabinet; MORGAN looks at the clock. It is predictably 7:48 AM.] SUNNI BLU Tell him stop trespassing. MORGAN What? He’s not trespassing, he’s on the sidewalk. SUNNI BLU Stretching 8 feet in any direction is considered trespassing— That includes vertically. MORGAN What! No it doesn't! No it’s not! SUNNI BLU That’s California law, that’s what they’re designating it. I have friends in the Senate, you know. MORGAN Are you serious? SUNNI BLU Never mind, I’ll tell him. I need the paper anyway. SUNNI heads towards the door. MORGAN Since when do you read the— Sunni, wait— Since when do you read the paper?! SUNNI BLU I don’t I just enjoy throwing it. MORGAN No, don’t— [SUNNI has already catapulted a dummy loaded LA Times through the air at astonishingly high speed— although it’s just a rolled newspaper, CONAN happens to be running at a remarkably high speed with his extended gate on a STEEP DOWNHILL GRADE; The trajectory of the impact from the newspaper hitting him in the face, quite squarely between the eyes forces him to loose hit footing completely, propel forward, and ROLL down the remainder of the street, nearly flipping over entirely into a summersault cartwheel of sorts, rolling uncontrollably over the pristine asphalt. CONAN OOF. SUNNI BLŪ (Nonchalantly shrugging) {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} C’cxell Soleïl Author, Poet, Producer & Creator Musician EXCERPT: THE CHRONICLES OF WTF, Season 1, Episode 2 titled ‘3 Man War’ CONAN (V.O.) CONAN O’BRIEN is an IMMORTAL CITIZEN, tasked with the arduous duties of landscaping the parallels and paradoxes in TIME. Every day I live a little longer… In a vintage mirror, He examines the heavy bags under his eyes, his pale, white skin, cakes with freckles and soon, with makeup— the picturesque Californian day shines ever brightly, even golden under the plumes of perfect white clouds floating, or even dancing effortlessly across the clear blue sky— though there’s something looming— always looming— over him personally. Director’s note; It might be worth it to find a full length mirror that Conan is actually just a little taller than, so that he has to slouch to look into it. It should be actual vintage, the type that swivels and is perhaps ovular, and should be painted a pale yellow. JAMES V.O. This is my room. INT. 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA. STUDIO 6B. DAY A LARGE, enthusiastic crowd—the AUDIENCE lifts to their feet, and cheers, applauding— the HOST takes his mark on what appears to be a GOLDEN FOUR LEAF CLOVER. JAMES V.O. (CONT’D) These are my toys. The whimsy of GAMES being played flash by in the foreground; a troupe of DANCERS take the the stage— the AUDIENCE cheers and laughs. JAMES V.O. (CONT’D) My name is James… Suddenly, the studio lights turn OFF; JAMES V.O. (CONT’D) –But people forget that. A faint echo of STEVE HIGGINS announces the HOST as “Jimmy Fallon!”; the applause and laughter fades out with the clamp of the lights. …Now full black and white, the stage is empty, the seats, a striking red, now monochromatic and abandoned. The studio is empty. The room is silent. But JAMES mind is rushed with thoughts. INT, BACKSTAGE, DRESSING ROOM JAMES (JIMMY FALLON) begins to take his TIE off in the mirror, then changes his mind— he tightens it instead, still looking at the mirror into his own dark eyes. Then, a voice approaches from behind him, standing in the doorway. CC He ties his own tie! He turns around and pivots on a dime, straightening his back. CC is a woman in her mid thirties, but presents herself much more maturely. CC (CONT’D) Surprised to see me? JAMES I do a lot of things myself, actually. CC No arguments there. An unspoken tension, perhaps, deep resentment or disdain for one another sits heavily in the small space between them. A long pause; CC seems almost blank under the darkness of her SUNGLASSES, however wreaking dominance— this almost seems to shrink the long and tall host into the uncertainty of a small child. Still, he holds his ground. JAMES Why are you doing this? CC —are you afraid? JAMES I was always afraid. Now I’m petrified. CC feigns a small smile, if not a smirk of all expressions chosen for the worst of moments. CC Gorgeous. I’ll be seeing you. Without even such a turning to walk away the woman seems to have vanished, but still the HOST calls down the hallway as if phone after her. JAMES It’s a wonder you’ll be seeing anything under those sunglasses! CC’s voice from the opposite side of the hallway, if not seemingly somewhat above him answers to call back. CC Call your friends. JAMES is disgruntled, and now the woman, vanished, if not having left a heavy air of some sort of impending call to action. He sighs, and a dog approaches from behind him as he stands in the doorway— from inside the dressing room, but also apparently out of nowhere. JAMES Bongo. He leans down to pet the seemingly familiar beast. JAMES (CONT’D) What are you doing out of your coffin? Then, an unknown voice that seems to come itself in ghostly shackles with the rumblings of time in the midsts of the now silent room, the buzzing florexent lights buzzing above with only just a glimmer of light, but just the slightest comfort of mystery. VOICE (unseen) It’s a ghost dog— nothing says he ought to be confined to a wooden box. Now JAMES seems worried, the dog unbothered— he straightens out from hunching over the happy creature and squares himself to face the inside of the room. A luminescent and mystifying creature stands before him, still yet unseen. VOICE Hello, Jimmy. The silver lined glow of a supernatural pale white and neon blue brings just the slightest hint of fear into JAMES’ dark brown eyes. CUT TO BLACK. The screen remains void of light for a beat. Slowly, the letter W fades in, centered on the screen. A beat later, T fades in beside it. A final beat later, F fades in. W — T — F The remaining letters then manifest, prefixing the initialism in a single motion to complete the full title: THE CHRONICLES OF WTF FADE OUT. CREDITS roll.

  • October 3 · 1 hr 19 min

    Lost Cause: {AETHER.}

    INT. VOID / LIMINAL SPACE - NIGHT CHAOSHey, Sis. CCNow that’s strange. CHAOSGet this: I’m you. CCWell, that’s stupid. CHAOSTo you. FINIYou’re a similar, aren’t you? REDNo, I’m a familiar. FINIClose enough. CHAOSIt’s not enough. It’s not the same. Not even close. FINITorture. Who are you? CHAOSI’m not distinctly anything. FINIWhy am I Jimmy Kimmel? CHAOSWho knows! FINIGreat, now the president hates me twice. CHAOSDon’t be so sure. FINIIt’s just a friendly game of— CHAOSOh, there’s my ogre. FINIYou have an ogre?! CHAOSI have everything. FINII see that. CHAOSThat’s great, now wake up. INT. GREEN ROOM / DREAMSPACE - CONTINUOUS JIMMY KIMMEL bolts upright, gasping as he wakes from a dream of golfing with Donald Trump. KIMMELAre we friends?! A beat. VOICE (O.S.)Possibly! CCYo. Lorne, you gotta stop doing this. VOICE (O.S.)Doing what? KIMMELIs he younger?! A boyish, youthful LORNE MICHAELS sits pleasant and completely calm, casually eating popped corn as he speaks with an almost maniacal chill—chill, as in too calm, but also sort of electric. KIMMEL (CONT'D)Uh... Dude. LORNE MICHAELSUgh. KIMMELYou’re horrible. You’re horrible. How did you learn to do this?! LORNE MICHAELSWhen did you develop that habit? KIMMELWhen did you? LORNE MICHAELSYou’re right. {Enter The Multiverse} "The Timekeeper" VOICE (O.S.)Open your eyes. KIMMELOh no. Not you again. VOICE (O.S.)Me. Again. KIMMELYo! Fuck you! VOICE (O.S.)You’re a DJ. KIMMELNO! VOICE (O.S.)THE END. KIMMELTHE END. SKRILLEX (V.O.)THE END—AGAIN. KIMMELAGAIN?! THIS IS YOUR F— [The Festival Project ™] AULTYo, why do I do this? VOICE (O.S.)You’re fasting again. AULTI’m not fasting. I’m starving to death. VOICE (O.S.)MY FAULT?! THIS IS YOUR F— AULTYou fucked up. VOICE (O.S.)Well. I did. AULTThis is your fault, you know. 👀 L E G E N D SI C O N S T I T A N S VS. O L Y M P I A N SROUND III CCYou know I’ve been writing this series for seven years. VOICE (O.S.)Yeah, and look where it got you. CCIt got me— 🏙️ 🌃 🌆✈️ ✈️ ✈️ CC (CONT'D)Oh. Huh. VOICE (O.S.)Yeah, that’s right. "Oh." CCYo, that’s strange.The color of Lorne was distorted;I noted the Martian below him;I’m older but all out of order,My honor aborted award shows,Coveted,Conan was lo and behold him,All over the asphalt,Sat on a fault line,Fell into hard times, a giantMulti-conglomerate global,Holding awards up,Shout out to also important,Impostor for no one,And all of a buck,Give the poster to Ariana! ARIANA GRANDEAhem. CCYeah, thanks sis. ARIANA GRANDEYou’re welcome. CCI’m... licensed to murder. ARIANA GRANDEYou are. CCSo— ARIANA GRANDEGo ahead. CCI’m all out of purpose,Purportedly,Semi-unconscious,An honest reflection subconscious;Get too toxic,And washing my knocks in the fraudI uncovered, corruptionQuite abruptly,And I erupted.Free Tibet,Highlight tribe. ARIANA GRANDEHow’s he doing? CCOh, him? She nods. CC (CONT'D)That guy died.Everyone I like is dead;Running numbers in my head.How can I get back to Los AngelesWith a bagIf I’m just an actressWithout removing my pantsOr just dancing,Being ratchet?Shout out to Natalie,I cannot handle that,I am a nun;But believe everything under theSun is justOne.A conglomerate:Almost forgot that I bought NBC,Universal,And Oxygen. She takes a deep, ragged gasp of breath. CC (CONT'D)Everyone I like is dead.Dead.Dead.Dead.Amen.All of my life I’ve been dead.Dead.Dead.Dead.Amen.I think it’s all in my head;All of my life I dependOn paying off debt.Take a lesson from stressing onWomen and men.Not a friend in the world.God.God. ARIANA GRANDEOh, I respect that. CCI started over again—God.God.No, Conan!I think I’m seeing in red.Lessons.More lessons? FUCK.I had so many depressions,It turned into text,And then to a check.Lessons.More lessons? FUCK.Amen.I called him a friend,But never again,Fred.Don’t marry your torturer;Get a divorce and thenPass 'em the torch, you know.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets.Bullets. INT. PRODUCTION OFFICE - CONTINUOUS WRITER 2What the fuck, that’s the end?! WRITER 1I guess. WRITER 2Oh my— [W T F]The Chronicles of WTF. INT. KIMMEL'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT MOLLY MCNEARNEY walks in, holding a production binder. JIMMY KIMMEL quickly tries to slide an ancient glowing relic under a stack of cue cards. MOLLYWhat are you doing? KIMMELNothing! MOLLYLet me see. KIMMEL👀 MOLLYWhat is this? KIMMELIt’s magic. MOLLY(gasps)Magic?! KIMMELJust a little. MOLLYLet me see. KIMMELGimme—wait. MOLLYLet me see! KIMMELFine. MUSIC CUE: "HATE THAT I MADE YOU LOVE ME" - ARIANA GRANDE The sub-bass drops as strings swell into the track, launching a hyper-kinetic visual MONTAGE: -- EXT. ANCIENT CANYON - SUNNI BLU fastens tactical utility harnesses over camouflage gear, adjusting a sidearm holster while staring intently toward a violet horizon. -- INT. CELESTIAL ARMORY - ARIANA GRANDE methodically straps on sleek, gilded pauldrons, running her fingers along the edge of a crystalline broadsword that hums with raw energy. -- EXT. COSMIC VOID - An ancient celestial tree burns across dimensions, glowing embers drifting into the skylines of terrestrial metropolises below. -- INT. DIMLY LIT 30 ROCK CORRIDOR - A familiar silhouette in a tailored suit and tie stands with his back turned, adjusting his cuffs with an unnerving, deliberate slowness. The posture mirrors Jimmy Fallon's slight frame, yet his reflection in the dark glass door fails to move with him—remaining rigid, watching the hall with faint, unnatural eyes before snapping into an easy, boyish grin that never reaches the shadows behind him. -- INT. MONITOR ROOM - The two intergalactic AGENTS rack slides on sub-atomic blasters, locking biometric visors over their eyes as surveillance feeds cycle rapidly between battle zones. -- EXT. ISLES OF YUM - A GIANT BIRD EXTENDWS OVER PRINCESS SHAMALAMA DING DONG And DRAMALAMA DING-DANG (ADAM SANDLER) extends broad feathered wings atop the ramparts, notching a barbed arrow to her bow as the sky fractures into thunderous emerald light. -- EXT. DESERT SUMMIT - REINCARNATED SILHOUETTES take their positions along the ridgeline, unholstering heavy ballistic rifles against a mountain consumed by celestial flames. -- INT. LAB CHAMBER - The green-lit relic inside the containment gate throbs in exact time with the track's driving beat, cutting on the final snare. FADE TO BLACK.

  • October 3 · 1 hr 6 min

    Lost Cause: Terminally Celibate. | Stand-Up Comedy Special

    INT. SHADOWED CHAMBER - NIGHT Two blue eyes peek out of the darkness into the pale flicker of candlelight. SETH MEYERSHey. FIGURE (O.S.)Don’t come any closer, Seth Meyers, I’ll shoot you. Suddenly, a silver pistol emerges from the shadows, pointed directly between those two same very blue eyes. SETH MEYERSI don’t doubt that. FIGUREYou shouldn’t. SETH MEYERSAll right, well... FIGUREWell... SETH MEYERSI—brought popped corn, er... all right, my—kernels, rather. FIGURE...For what purpose? SETH MEYERS(shrugging)Don’t know. Kind of expecting... Lorne to show up. Seth steps forward into a pillar of downlight. FIGUREAgain, for what purpose? SETH MEYERSI feel like this is highly conversational for someone pointing a gun at me. FIGUREEveryone’s entitled to have an opinion. SETH MEYERSYou’re wittier when you’re contemplating homicide. FIGUREI’m not contemplating, I’m procrastinating. SETH MEYERSNot contemplating, procrastinating. Ah—so—dual purpose. FIGUREThat’s your wit shining through there. SETH MEYERSI’m sure it’s only reflecting in the mirror image of that pistol. FIGUREThree coats of polish. SETH MEYERSYou must have quite the iron grip. FIGUREHow about it. SETH MEYERSHow about... SETH MEYERS steps forward in tandem with the subtle CLICK of the pistol being gently cocked, barrel leveled at his brow. He slowly raises his hands above his head in surrender, then swiftly uses his right hand to dislodge a yellow number two pencil from behind his ear. He raises the pencil, wielding it like a wand before tapping the clear plastic bag of popped corn kernels in his left hand. Tap. Tap. He swirls the pencil in an arc around the bag. The bag instantly turns from popped corn into clear water containing one solitary, swimming GOLDFISH. Seth gestures outward with an open palm: voilà. FIGURE...Not bad. SETH MEYERS(shrugging)Mm. A sharp GUNSHOT rings out. Seth ducks, desperately gripping the bag as the goldfish swims unbothered. A high-caliber slug ricochets off an overhead crystal chandelier and shatters a wall mirror into thousands of prismatic shards. In reflexive retaliation, a silver bullet discharges from the silver pistol. It narrowly misses Seth, ripping straight through the clear plastic bag. SETH MEYERS (CONT'D)OH, FUCK! The bag ruptures. Water and the GOLDFISH splash onto the parquet floor. The goldfish thrashes next to Seth, who contorts between shielding his skull and reaching out to save the fish. More bullets tear through the air. Seth executes a panicked lateral roll as the fish flails across the wood. FIGUREBastard. TWO SHADOWY NINJAS breach the perimeter through high windows. SETH MEYERSWhy?! FIGUREWhy not? Suddenly, ARMORED SAMURAI kick down the rear doors, drawing katanas! SETH MEYERSWait, ninjas or samurai?! FIGURE¿Por qué no los dos? The architectural dimensions of the room instantly fracture as the space erupts into a multi-epochal, cross-dimensional melee; cybernetic samurai clash swords with ancient shinobi; Victorian-era pirates brandish cutlasses against trench-coat-wearing 1930s mobsters firing tommy guns. Laser beams from futuristic space-cops intersect with mystical fireballs deployed by hovering medieval dragons, as Wild West cowboys on horseback materialize from localized temporal rifts, dual-wielding revolvers beside trident-toting mermaids who surge forward on crests of tidal anomalies. Amidst this cataclysmic tapestry of historical and mythological warfare, Seth Meyers is thrust into absolute, frantic desperation. He flails prone across the architecture, executing erratic lateral rolls and frantic somersaults to evade supersonic projectiles, whistling crossbow bolts, and stray cannonballs that pulverize the surrounding masonry. A sweeping claymore decapitates an adjacent combatant, passing a mere millimeter above Seth’s ducked head; moments later, a rogue shuriken grazes his ankle, leaving a burning laceration. Yet his focus remains tethered to the aquatic captive. He maneuvers across the floorboards like an uncoordinated gymnast, contorting his torso into protective arcs and cupping his palms into a fragile, improvised vessel. The combatants demonstrate a surreal, highly choreographed deference to the central chaos; they execute gravity-defying leaps, stealthy pirouettes, and fluid, rhythmic lunges directly over Seth’s undulating form, weaving their lethal maneuvers through the air with microscopic precision. A stray bowie knife embeds itself deeply into the floorboards, pinning the fabric of Seth's sleeve and narrowly missing his arm, yet through this symphonic display of universal hostility, the goldfish remains miraculously untouched, entirely unstepped upon amidst the stampede of boots, hooves, and flippers. SETH MEYERS (CONT'D)(calling out to nobody)I’m fine! The quick, nimble footwork of the warriors somehow leaves both Seth and the fish alive. However, the goldfish ceases its frantic flailing, opening its mouth in faint, desperate gasps for oxygen. The surviving combatants and bystanders pause, gathering round in a tight circle alongside Seth. The eye of the dying goldfish suddenly sparkles. In a blinding detonation of technicolor and radiant white light, the aquatic creature expands and morphs into— LORNE MICHAELS Lorne casually dusts off the lapels of his tuxedo jacket and adjusts his bow tie. SURROUNDING CROWD(collective gasp)LORNE?! LORNE MICHAELSHm. He stands composed at the room's epicenter, completely unfazed—as if he had not just been missing for weeks, as if he had not spent the last four minutes as a goldfish, and as if he had not originated as a concession bag of gourmet popped corn kernels. The combatants and bystanders stare blankly into the void of astonishment. JIMMY FALLON bursts through the double doors, breathing heavily. JIMMY FALLONOh good. It worked! Silence falls. The entire room turns, staring dumbfounded into various imaginary multidimensional fourth walls. LORNE MICHAELSWell, come on. We have a show to do. Lorne turns on his heel and strides toward the corridor with reserved, unhurried dignity, casually stepping over the carnage of fallen mercenaries. MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.)...He isn’t wrong. It is, after all, Saturday Night.

  • October 3 · 1 hr 14 min

    Ubiquity.

    EXT. NIGHTCLUB / ALLEYWAY - NIGHT A booming beat drops. SUNNI BLU (played by TRACY MORGAN) holds the mic mid-cypher outside the back entrance. SUNNI BLUOther bitches stay in the chat,But me, I’m different.This is the world I been living in:I’m in the club right now,Camouflage pants and Illuminati fitted.Ain’t no wigs getting snatched,We in the back right now.It’s a movie,In the second act right now.I ain’t gotta think back right now,Matter of fact right now,Roll a fattie right now,Get smacked right now, if you want, butAin’t no wigs getting snatched right now.Other bitches stay in the chat,But me, I’m different.Matter of fact;I just wrote a rap right now.This is the world I been living in.OK;Three times,Three times:Mitch McConnell throwing up the peace sign.Now I got three times on me,Got a one-track diamond mind though,Shawty outside though,Vibes all the time though— NATALIE NUNNBlu, shut up. SUNNI BLUWhat?I don’t fuck n***as,I am just a fuck n***a.I been on some fuck shit,Prolly roll a blunt shit,I be on some cunt shit,That is no assumption.Peepin' on corruptionOn a brunch and luncheon.Y’all been in the lunchroom,I been eating munch, dude.What? NATALIE NUNNBlu, shut up! ANDY SAMBERG (AS LORNE MICHAELS)(deadpan cadence)Anything can happen at brunch!Doooo! SUNNI BLUMore camouflage,Got a n***a in a smock;More camouflage,Star Trek, call me Spock.More camouflage,Park the car, I spin the block.Turn the cameras off,Bend it over,Gonna fuck.I be fly like a bird,I flock 'em.N***a, I’m awesome.Talk show,Like I’m Emmy Rossum.Plot twist,Sike, nah,I got options.I just went shopping,’Bout to take a bunch of rocks to the Plaza’Cause I’m on my God shit.I ain’t no house,I’m progressive experiment.I just bought a house in Malibu,Oh.I’m ’bout to buy me a BarbieAnd find me a hobby,End up in the lobby just flaunting.Uh,Every house I go is haunted.I’m ghost,Probably French 'cause I’m toasted, yeah.French, I’m Montana,Not Hannah,But been on my Peloton,Yeah.That is a deep cut.I do some deep throat,That’s not a secret.I am a seeker,AvidReader.I amLeaderOf the free world.Once you see me,You won’t need her.Ahahahaha!I got chin-checked,I am Natalie Nunn.Write me a checkAnd then go for a run.Smoke me a blunt,Bake me a bundtCake.She mad at me 'cause her buttFake.I got up midnight onMon-Day,I’mOnOne.You mad,Huh?I’m Kanye!Let me be Frank Ocean,I got blonder.Go on a walk to the Whole Foods,Picking up some water.I been on Wall Street,You cannot stop me.I own a Walmart;I run the country.President Trump wanna fuck me’Cause I got junk in the trunkee,And money in the trust, eh?Chunky-Monkey, Monkey Bread: EE!See me on hump day;Since you want to,Humpty-Dumpty.I been on some fuck shit,Call me Sukihana.You know what I want:PeanutButter.Ahaha!I am a Lost Cause,Licking on your bal-wals.Hakuna MatataLike I am a warthog.I don’t need a bottle,But I want a bag though.I been on some gay shit,But I’m not a fag though.I been on some fan shit,But I got fans though.I been on some bad shit,Call me Michael Jackson.Yessir, an asshole,Present, not a past though.I been on SNAP,Crackle-pop,Head of the household. NATALIE NUNN...I am... so confused. MYSTIC (V.O.)(ethereal incantation)You don’t belong,Just come and go...Although we share a common goal. SUNNI BLU pulls out a glossy photograph of JIMMY KIMMEL and thrusts it directly before Natalie. SUNNI BLUHave you seen this man?! NATALIE NUNN doesn’t respond, only squinting in a sort of angry, drunken confusion—looking immaculate, nonetheless. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)That’s fine. What about this one? SUNNI BLU whips out a headshot of JAY LENO. NATALIE squints again, registering a flash of visceral recognition. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)Of course you have. That’s your fatha. SUNNI BLU tosses both photos to the pavement. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)You can keep that. NATALIE NUNN is reality television’s most notorious and high-profile SHAPESHIFTER, whose current extraterrestrial identity is unknown; this may be a deep-cover agent, or perhaps even a high-ranking intergalactic government official using NATALIE as its current host. Some extraterrestrials are trademarked by their extremely high tolerance for alcohol consumption and hybrid human appearance. SUNNI BLU (TRACY MORGAN) has been in hot pursuit of a highly volatile shapeshifting aviary, last known to have been seen with the entity CHAOS, who often conforms as the high-profile television personality JIMMY KIMMEL, whose actual true identity remains unknown. These entities are notorious for multiversal structure decomposure and material construction through the consumption and distribution of "intoxicant substances"—drugs and spirits which alter the perception of the human body and mind, allowing the multi-billion-century-long war to carry on in multilateral intergalactic directions across charted and uncharted territories of the cosmic grid. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D)You’re right. I don’t fit in. NATALIE NUNNYou’re lost! SUNNI BLUWhat? NATALIE NUNNYou’re lost, right? SUNNI BLUListen, Nat, I know your script is not normally printed on paper and shit, but— NATALIE NUNNIt still isn’t. I just get the digital— SUNNI BLUThat’s enough lessons. NATALIE NUNNHuh? What? SUNNI BLUYou’re lost, right? Suddenly, NATALIE seems genuinely confused. SUNNI BLU hurries off into the night, somewhat lifted, and grimaces, chuckling under her breath an evil and sort of maniacal laugh. INT. SURVEILLANCE QUARTERS - CONTINUOUS TWO INTERGALACTIC AGENTS—high-ranking alien operatives embedded on Earth, disguised in standard casual attire—sit in front of a flat-screen monitor, surveillance feeds running alongside an intercepted terrestrial television broadcast of "Enter The Multiverse." AGENT 1What just happened? AGENT 2I think they just shifted. AGENT 1No, they switched. AGENT 2What? I don’t get this. AGENT 1They switched it. AGENT 2With WHAT? I don’t GET this! {Enter The Multiverse} ON SCREEN: BLU THA GURU takes over the mic, continuing the erratic frequency discharge and stumbling across the club perimeter with hyper-accelerated cadence. BLU THA GURUWoah,Baddie is famous,Catch me outside though,I amDRUNK.Bitch, it’s Monday morning,Why the fuck you in the club?’Bout to get a bagAnd maybe open up a pub.I be feeling good,Just having coffee in my cup.I don’t pay the tab,I be chilling in the tub.I got lots of luck,Eh,I get lots of love,Ey,Twisting up my locs,Ey.I be callingCopsOn the ops,Shut that dog up!If I even show up at the place,Then I got product!I keep a code of conduct,Do it for the bag,But you won’t see me with a product.I ain’t tryna fuck with n***as,If I need a confirm,I’m not Natalie for now, but cross 'cause I’m a nun-nun. AGENT 1LOL, that’s enough. AGENT 2I agree. BLU THA GURUThis ain’t no fun no more,I lost too much weight so I can’t run no more.Ain’t got a number though,I’m on the honor roll.I might rent a yachtAnd end up in the harbor though.BITCH, I WANT SOME PIZZA!’Bout to call the plug,It’s Monday morning,Finna re-up.Bitch, I did a relay,I got married with a prenup.Call that n***a Charlie Brown’Cause he be on some peanuts.I can’t chase a motherfucker,Bitch, I need somePENIS.Bring them in a CadillacAnd send them in aPRIUS.They be on some slavery,But I been trynaFREE US.I been on theKETO,Keep them bagels in theFREEZER.Bitch, it’s Monday morning,What you doing in the club? BACK TO THE MONITOR ROOM: The two AGENTS track the sub-vocal audio waves, cross-referencing biometric signatures against cosmic mainframe records. AGENT 1You’re right. That’s not Ms. Nunn. AGENT 2They switched it. AGENT 1Correct. AGENT 2And by "they," you mean—? AGENT 1He. AGENT 2So it is him. AGENT 1Facts. AGENT 2What do you think he wants? AGENT 1He’s trying to find the other Tritarians. AGENT 2How do you know that? AGENT 1...I recently found out... I may be Tritarian. AGENT 2—So you have a connection? AGENT 1Negative. I’ve been taking some side work decrypting languages for the fourth chapter of the Pritherion Hyphex. AGENT 2So you have access to Tritarian knowledge vaults by right of passage. Interesting genetics. AGENT 1Maybe. AGENT 2Well, I stand corrected. Maybe you aren’t hopeless after all. AGENT 1No, I’m hopeless. Useless, maybe not. AGENT 2Don’t get ahead of yourself. AGENT 1—I’m not. A beat. AGENT 1 (CONT'D)Or—I won’t. [The Festival Project ™] MUSIC CUE: "Lady Madonna" (The Beatles - Love Version) plays as the scene transitions: MONTAGE. INT. STUDIO 8H - SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - NIGHT JIMMY FALLON pays a visit to the SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE set, taking in the environment with candor and nostalgia. Suddenly, an OBJECT arcs across Studio 8H and hits Jimmy Fallon square in the face. KAM PATTERSON (O.S.)Ten points! ASHLEY PADILLAWhat IS that?! JEREMY CULHANE(nervous laughter)Ahahahahah! The object lands on the floor. UPON CLOSER INSPECTION, it appears to be a freshly severed HUMAN HEART. JANE WICKLINEUm. I think it’s— ASHLEY PADILLADon’t touch that. JEREMY CULHANEWe’re not going to tell anybody about this. JANE WICKLINE...Is it still beating?! JEREMY CULHANEShh. Shut up. KAM PATTERSONWhat are you doing with it? JEREMY CULHANEWith what? A beat. KAM PATTERSON(blank-faced)...With what? JANE WICKLINE👀 DJ NOTES:{ADHD DISTRACTION IMMINENT}Internet friends > Star Wars > Animals, Martin Garrix...but I think I’ve already done that exact mix already. MEANWHILE INT. JEREMY'S DRESSING ROOM / PARNASSUS LAB - NIGHT PROFESSOR PARNASSUS (played by JEREMY CULHANE) stands maniacally over THE HEART in his makeshift alchemical lab, as it beats with a GLOWING GREEN AURA from its assembled GATE. He leans in closer, drooling at the prospect of his most recent capture; he not only believes it to be, but knows it is indeed the famed HEART OF ION OF ITHIOS lore; a folk legend, but now his own, residing in his lab. His SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE castmate SAIDA enters, after a couple of knocks at the door. Suddenly the lighting shifts, as he is taken off guard. SAIDAUm. JEREMY CULHANEHey.(clears throat)Ahem. I mean—Oh, hiiiii. SAIDAYeah. JEREMY CULHANEAhem. Yeah. SAIDASo you have an evil lab in your dressing room? JEREMY CULHANE(shrugs)It came like this. SAIDAOK. Mine has antlers on the wall; I’m trying to know how to feel about that. JEREMY CULHANEDisingenuous, perhaps. SAIDAI agree. He fails to turn around, deflated, still hovering over the glowing heart with his instruments. SAIDA (CONT'D)...Are you coming to lunch? JEREMY CULHANE...Yes. SAIDA(deadpan)All right. JEREMY CULHANE’K. SAIDAAll right. JEREMY CULHANEOK. SAIDAAll right. SAIDA exits, shutting the door gently and turning around. INT. 8H HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS KENAN THOMPSON is directly behind her, almost miraculously. KENAN THOMPSONHe has it. SAIDAYes. KENAN THOMPSONPerfect. Follow me to my chambers. SAIDAI ordered lunch. KENAN THOMPSONIT WILL WAIT. SAIDA sighs, disgruntled, and follows KENAN; they lift their HOODED ROBES in synchronicity. {Enter The Multiverse} EXT. ISLES OF YUM - DAY A herald sounds an alarm from the battlement. HERALDTHE DUKE ARCHIBALD OF NEVERWHETHER HAS ARRIVED! CHAMBERLAINYOUR MAJESTY! AT ONCE, READY THE EMPIRE! SOLDIERBUT—Your Majesty! CHAMBERLAINAT ONCE! Before— PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG enters rapidly, her royal attire trailing behind her. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONGWHEA IS HEH?! CHAMBERLAIN—Where is whom?! SOLDIERYour Majesty— CHAMBERLAINUgh, Sire. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONGWHEA IS THE DUKE, ARCHIBALD?! CHAMBERLAINAhem, descending quickly, Your Triumph. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONGUNREMARKABLE. CHAMBERLAINAgreed, Your Royal— PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONGI MUST REBUKE HIM AT ONCE! CHAMBERLAINYour Highness. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONGAT ONCE! CHAMBERLAINAhem, very well. High above, JANE WICKLINE flaps her wings and defends from the cavernous rooftop hideaway. JANE WICKLINEOkays. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™] © Copyright The Complex Collective Unstoppable.Co

  • October 3 · 1 hr 49 min

    The Lost Cause Comedy Vault Vol. I EP. 11 - "I'm Telling!" - Stand-Up Comedy

    EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - NIGHT VOICE 1 (O.S.)Oh shit, this nigga’s walkin’ on taxis! Somebody get ‘em. VOICE 2 (O.S.)...but they’re ’90s taxis... They might even be older. VOICE 1 (O.S.)Ohhhhhhh shit. New promos. Whaaaaaat’s this?! VOICE 2 (O.S.)Damn, Jake from State Farm—you really went and fucked up this time. VOICE 1 (O.S.)Don’t I know it. BLŪ (V.O.)I need a new tourmaline. CC (V.O.)As if the one I’m wearing around my neck isn’t enough? BLŪ (V.O.)It’s not.He’s got...20 numbers in his phone book,20 numbers on speed dial,20 numbers in his pocket, look,20 more, if you play your cards right.He’s going hog wild,All in.Hot wife and a hot rod,Long pole with a Jolly Roger on it,Not a long story.She’s a hot mess,He’s a coldmotherfucker,And she’s all dressed,waiting by the door for an Acura.Flawless,’Cause that’s what he ordered;Someone saw it coming,Counting the losses—Setting off alarms,And calling the stockbroker on him.Just a warning for the heartless:You ought to get warmer somewhereBy the closure of this story.Open the portal. INT. BROADCAST FACILITY / PORTAL CHAMBER - CONTINUOUS JIMMY KIMMELGET IN, STEPHEN. STEPHEN COLBERTNO. JIMMY KIMMELGET—IN—THE PORTAL. STEPHEN COLBERTNO. I’M NOT GOING. JOHN OLIVER is smoking a cigar in the corner, not helping at all as the other hosts, SETH MEYERS, JIMMY KIMMEL, and JIMMY FALLON fight fellow former host STEPHEN COLBERT as he claws himself out of the portal; as much manpower as it takes to keep him in, it seems to take a lot more getting out. JOHN OLIVEROh, you’re going, all right... He puts out his cigar in a silver ashtray, then walks over to the LAUNCHPAD and opens up the HATCH, before pressing down intently on a RED BUTTON, which, in a plume of GREEN LIGHT, instantly activates the portal, sucking STEPHEN COLBERT clean in, feet first and arms reeling as he screams— STEPHEN COLBERTNOOOOOOOOOOO—GODDAMMIT!!! KIMMEL and SETH MEYERS jump back to save themselves from the strong force of the open portal; however, JIMMY FALLON—who was in charge of the legs—has been unforgivingly warped into the portal behind STEPHEN, exclaiming nothing at all, because his dialogue costs too much. JIMMY KIMMELOh, shit. JOHN OLIVER"Oh shit," indeed. JIMMY KIMMELWell, that wasn’t the plan. SETH MEYERS...I wouldn’t worry about it. JIMMY KIMMELI’m not worried, per se. I just— JIMMY FALLON walks in normally through the door. JOHN OLIVEROkay? JIMMY FALLONWhat’d I miss? JOHN OLIVERNothing, apparently. SETH MEYERS👀 I told you. JIMMY KIMMELSo apparently, you’re the only one who figured out how to get out of one of these things? SETH MEYERS👀 I told you. JIMMY FALLONOh, what, this? He deactivates the portal using an off-switch located at the bottom of the portal. It suddenly shuts off. They stare at him in disbelief. JIMMY FALLON (CONT'D)You gotta turn it off when you’re finished; it’s burning a lot of electricity. JIMMY KIMMEL(squinty)...Yeah, okay. JOHN OLIVERI've had exactly enough. JIMMY KIMMELYeah, I’m going to bed. I’m on West Coast time. JOHN OLIVERDoesn’t that make it early, for you, then? JIMMY KIMMELWhatever. SETH MEYERS, JOHN OLIVER, and JIMMY KIMMEL all head toward the door, leaving FALLON standing alone at the portal awkwardly. JOHN OLIVERStandard NBC ethos, I’m betting. JIMMY KIMMELI bet nothing. SETH MEYERS👀 I told you! {Enter The Multiverse}

  • October 3 · 1 hr 1 min

    03. The Lost Cause Comedy Vault Vol. I Ep 3- {"The Killing Bees"}

    EXT. PRIMEVAL FOREST - DAY SHIEKWhat has you up against a wall? FINIMy brother. SHIEKWhat’s wrong? FINIHe’s going to kill me; I can feel it. CHAOS and INFINITY are immortal souls of creation, trapped in a centuries-long game of seek-and-find—or, more accurately, seek-and-destroy, as the strategic and tactical INFINITY is usually bested by her younger brother CHAOS by his tactile use of brute force, weaponry, and merciless destruction. INFINITY, though equipped with an adapting presence, plays this game set in principles of fact, respecting the art of war and playing it rather fairly— Perhaps this is why she keeps losing to her much younger, but physically adaptive younger brother—as these ranges within time upon which they age almost certainly always place him as technically appearing, for humanoid purposes, older, bigger, and stronger—however, not more powerful. CHAOS has learned the karmic output of his own destruction, usually looming over him in a cosmic outward effect which summits more like a rippling throughout time served as consequences, as he awaits his sister’s imminent recycle and age against his own reincarnation and death epochs. SHIEKThere’s a sense that he might be creeping along, I gather, but I don’t think “today” is nearly accurate enough to assume your holding position against that poor creature as a requisite defense. By this "poor creature," she means the tree which FINI is leaning on to her wits' end; in this world and time, planetary biologics such as trees, plants, and animals are acknowledged also as wholly formed consciousness in physical manifestations as an artistic creative concept for the mastery of planets throughout time in the cosmic realm, and manipulation of energy throughout such as creatures, animals, people, and the very planets upon which they exist. In fact, it was in the beginning of these realms and primordial worlds within the voids that INFINITY—or FINI—had adapted this concept of creation by merging these alchemic thoughts with outer forces, creating complex multi-structures and full galaxy concepts, rather than just concentrating one’s entire own energy into a singular planet, or as humans would call it, monotheistic concepts. That is, at once, INFINITY had configured with respect to her outwardly expanding consciousness, rapid creation of planetary constructs as powerful multidimensional galactic art projects. This, in our own world and time, explains our own belief systems, spanning many worlds and many gods. SHIEK (CONT'D)How do you expect to keep all of them up there like that? FINIEventually, they’ll stay in place on their own. SHIEKHow do you figure that?! FINIJust wait for it. Gravity and its placement within the void remains at large an experimental and theoretical concept of compression in pure consciousness. [The Festival Project ™] FINI (CONT'D)No, I know the feeling when it’s coming. SHIEKYour brother? FININo. The feeling of death and impending doom, but with him as the agent of this, most likely. SHIEKYou are funny. FINII’m not joking. SHIEKBut it’s funny. FINII’m making you aware, there’s no mistaking it... SHIEKSpare me the theatrics. FINII’m not exaggerating—here, take this. SHIEKOkay, but why am I taking this? FINIHe has a harpoon. SHIEKWhat's a harpoon? FINIA weapon. SHIEKWhere did he get it? FINII gave it to him for his birthday. Then, he threw me from a cliff. SHIEKWell, then, why are you so sure he’s coming for you with it in this reincarnation, and on this day precisely? FINIBecause. I’ve been calculating it—and—since he was young, and we made up this game—we’ve always been playing it. At first, I let him win because I’m ancient, I didn’t realize he’d be disfiguring me for the next— Suddenly, there’s a rustling in the distance; a flock of birds bursts into the wind. FINI (CONT'D)—did you hear that? SHIEKI didn’t hear anything over your paranoid over-dramatics... but I can tell you’re really serious. He threw you off a cliff? FINIYeah, he did. SHIEKWhy would he do that? FINIBecause, I’d once contemplated knowing what it feels like to free fall that exact height without any aviary instruments. SHIEKOh, that’s—harsh. FINIArt in the name of the pursuit of knowledge. SHIEKAll is. FINI—and since it was his birthday, I was anticipating it. SHIEKI don’t get it. You think he actually likes doing this? FINIMy brother is increasingly destructive—menial, even. This is just the nature of his— SWUUFPPT! INFINITY is hit from an unseen angle above; a harpoon has been plunged diagonally and directly into her chest. FINI (CONT'D)See. I told you. She’s now pinned to the tree by the harpoon. CHAOS descends from a nearby tree. INFINITY looks down at her fatal wound at the harpoon and admires it for its quality. FINI (CONT'D)That is nice. I like that. SHIEKWhere did you even get something like that? FININow I’m being funny, I’m also dying—you should at the very least be laughing for me. SHIEKIt's not worth it if I’m laughing out of pity, is it? CHAOSStraight through the heart. FINIIt isn’t, you’re right. FINI begins to fade. CHAOSYou are absolutely right; that is a good gift. FINIYou can take my heart out, but there’s no sense in eating it. SHIEKYou would do something like that? CHAOSWell, I won’t go wasting it, but how else am I supposed to know what’s all in there? SHIEKOkay. So I don’t understand your family dynamic. FINIWhatever, just don’t let him take my— CHAOSIs that my canteen? SHIEKUh—I’m—holding it. CHAOSLet me see it. FINIDon’t— However, death is overtaking INFINITY now, and the sky begins to glow and darken. CHAOSYes, it is. Perfect. INFINITY groans and weakens as the life begins to leave her; CHAOS takes a drink from the canteen. He then lifts it to his sister's lips and tilts her head back so that she’s drinking from it, but also struggling to swallow it as death consumes her. CHAOS (CONT'D)It is a good gift. Thanks, sis. INFINITYHappy birthday, you idiot. SHIEKLast wishes, or have you made peace with it? CHAOS...Will you be needing any assistance? INFINITY shakes her head; he gently allows the grip of his two fingers, middle and index, to gently move lower and away to allow her head to fall downward to her chest. FINII have peace. CHAOSI Am. SHIEKSo it’s settled, I’ll be awaiting your next incarnation in the precipice. FINIAmen. At once, she is lifeless; a green storm appears on the horizon and lightning shakes the ground into thunderous tremors; a fire from the lightning erupts on the mountain; CHAOS looks up at the sky and shrugs, before emptying the canteen and placing its straps around his bodice; a true warrior, he is outfitted with the tribal markers of a compounded warlord—for what exact purpose, we remain in the unknown. SHIEKWhy you do this, I don’t know. This is awful. CHAOSWe love this game. This is awesome. SHIEKYou didn’t have to take the canteen. CHAOSActually, I did—it’s bulletproof. SHIEKI don’t know what you mean by that. CHAOS begins looting his sister’s dead body, starting with the pockets, of course, in an attempt at salvaging any money while explaining himself. CHAOS (CONT'D)Bulletproof. SHIEKI don’t know what you’re saying. CHAOS—it ricochets bullets. SHIEKI don’t know what that means. CHAOSOh, right. There are no guns yet here on this planet. CHAOS (CONT'D)...no use in explaining it. SHIEKHow are you desecrating the body? CHAOS pours a circle of mysterious liquid around the base of the tree, before lighting it. CHAOSImmediate. SHIEKShould I worry? CHAOSWhy bother? SHIEKShe’s right, you are an idiot. CHAOS(sarcastically)A profound revelation. He snaps his fingers, presenting a small flame—and just then, with the snap of his fingers, also— Lightning strikes the tree from above, sending him and SHIEK flying backwards as the trunk, elongated and magnificent, erupts into an explosive inferno. SHIEK looks on, still floored in astonishment. SHIEKPoor creature. Didn’t have a chance, did it? CHAOS recovers his harpoon from the burning wreckage; of course, as expected, his late sister’s heart comes out with it, and is, remarkably, also on fire. He has impressed himself, even. CHAOSYou should probably keep watch of that mountain... SHIEKYou’re so destructive. CHAOSShe’ll probably be awaiting you at any minute once you reach the summit. SHIEKAs what? CHAOSHow am I supposed to know? SHIEKYou morph and evolve worlds and spin times and galaxies just between your two thumbs, but you don’t know as which creature your sister is going to be instantaneously reincarnated? CHAOSEven if I did, it would take all the fun out of it. SHIEK swings at him and then sighs. SHIEKAt least give me the canteen. Another explosion; simultaneous from both the mountain top and the tree trunk. CHAOSNo way—I’m gonna need it. SHIEKWhy? It’s empty anyway! Another explosion; fiery branches rain down over him. He ducks and covers, in the full and impartial awareness that this is his sister’s spirit. A beat. CHAOS'Cause my sister knows what a gun is. SHIEKA what? Another explosion; CHAOS takes flight by launching up an unharmed tree, looking back over his shoulder and gripping the canteen. CHAOS...for the bullets. More lightning and explosions; the branch CHAOS hangs from wavers but still remains strong enough that he continues hanging off of it, like a lemur in a Rambo jacket. SHIEK looks up at CHAOS, and then back around at the damage, over her shoulder to the mountain summit, and then back at him—obviously she doesn’t understand this. She gives up, and turns to head away on her journey, still speaking at CHAOS, but really under her breath. SHIEKYou’re destructive. CHAOS has resisted climbing further up the tree and has been gazing at the mountain, but for whatever reason, her mumbled words distract him. CHAOSHey, I heard that. SHIEK doesn't turn around or address him, but instead just throws her arms up, flames burning trails of leaves behind her in her wake. He gazes on at her, somewhat bothered by her own nonchalance. She doesn’t get it. Suddenly, a bullet rings out in the small moment of time he’s taken his attention off the mountain—it ricochets off the canteen hanging from his hip. Then, eyes widened, he mumbles to himself. CHAOS (CONT'D)See. Damn, that is the fastest— Another bullet rings out, but this one doesn’t ricochet—though not fatally, he has, albeit playfully, been wounded; we see he’s been shot in the thigh, directly below the hip. He is surprised, but not exactly astounded or shocked. He calls out to SHIEK, now further down the path, just out of spite. CHAOS (CONT'D)You’d better get going faster! Your friend is already ahead of you! Again, SHIEK doesn’t look back— CLOSE UP ON SHIEK walking away, the inferno of burning forest behind her and the mountain of flames ahead in the distance casting a flickering warm orange-red light in her shadowy silhouette. SHIEKBastard. EXT. CAVE / CANYON OVERLOOK - DAY Meanwhile, in the remote distance, from an unknown cave much further below the summit, looking over the valley and canyons where the forest lies beneath the meadow, FINI, having taken the form of an older, mystic woman, looks down the range of her very favorite automatic sniper rifle; she hit him exactly where she meant—not fatally, but cleverly just so through his graceful aging, he’ll be dealing with it—in the thigh, but also probably shattering his hip in the process. Nice. This is perfect. She lowers her weapon and mumbles to herself. FINI/CC(sarcastically, with a hint of facetiousness)That should make it easier to climb. She opts for a pair of binoculars to continue to monitor him; he valiantly climbs as his leg, hanging below him listlessly, impedes but doesn’t prevent him from wrapping himself around the branches as he continues to climb—then, he turns his head and glances directly in her direction. In fact, he seems to be squinting directly at her. FINI/CC (CONT'D)Bastard. EXT. BURNING FOREST / TREE - CONTINUOUS Back at the tree, CHAOS is just a bit upended. He still moves with a stealth that is somewhat magical. CHAOSThat fucking bitch. EXT. CAVE / CANYON OVERLOOK - CONTINUOUS FINI seems to read his lips, and coyly mumbles to herself out loud, having taken the temporary form of an alien mystic known as CHAK CHEL, also a warrior goddess, and worshipped amongst outer planets as a creator, nurturer, and bringer of truth and fertility to its inhabitants. FINI/CCYes, I am. She laughs to herself and agrees; it is unanimous as far as she’s concerned upon the agreement, that she is, in fact, a total fucking bitch. EXT. BURNING FOREST / TREE - CONTINUOUS CHAOS mumbles to himself, now feeling the wound in his climbing as the adrenaline fades, and his leg begins aching. CHAOSUgfgh! I’m gonna kill you. EXT. CAVE / CANYON OVERLOOK - CONTINUOUS CHAK CHEL can't hear this, but rather can feel it—in an instant, she grabs the weapon again and, without even aiming, shoots—she, with precision and eloquent marksmanship, hits the branch her brother hangs from, sending him plummeting to the ground, wounded and prone to catch fire from the small piles of burning twigs and leaves around him—wound and all. EXT. BURNING FOREST - CONTINUOUS CHAOSGoddammit! EXT. CAVE / CANYON OVERLOOK - CONTINUOUS FINI/CC(to herself)Hmm... Yes, I did. There’s been revealed in this moment something of a telepathy between them. INFINITY giggles, amused with herself. She loves her brother so. {Enter The Multiverse} The mystic CC, however, which she’s used as a catalyst to transform her infinite spirit as a transient space, is a whole other monster. [The Festival Project ™] © The Complex Collective

  • May 2, 2025 · 3 min

    YAYAYa.

    Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

  • May 2, 2025 · 32 min

    [The Unknown.]

    Had no idea I was recording but here's what I got after like 6 minutes of my stomach gurgling and some extremely uncomfortable shallow breathing. Somebody should tell her. Can you walk my dog Before we fuck? My girl's not home. Wanna walk my dog. My neighbor is cheating on his girl but that's not my business. YOU LET HER WALK OUR DOG!!!? BEFORE: V.O. That's not my neighbor… [an evil blonde girl with blue eyes smiles maliciously as she exits the building walking a small black dog] …But that's their dog. LATER THAT NIGHT. V.O. I heard them fucking through the paper thin walls of the apartment. That is definitely not my neighbor. …somebody should tell her. YOU LET HER WALK OUR DOG?! That is not my business. Gee, God, I thought you'd never show up. [ensues Horrible guitar playing with acrylic nails] Self You never employ these two fingers. Also Self Cause they don't work. Try medicating that. They would try! (No thanks, I'll do it myself.) Dumb twat. I don't want to call people that… Thats's just what I am. Yo. Somebody tell her! Somebody tell her! …that's not my business. Maybe she already know. Cabinet slamming is a nasty business! YOU LET THAT BITCH WALK OUR DOOOOOG?! Yo, fuck that dog. Ugly ass chihuahua. [ensues more bad guitar playing with acrylic nails.] [basic ass surf music and some suspicious ass licks] [atrocious traffic noise] Jack went down the rabbit hole Jill came back and asked for more Then she saw that Jack was gone [over all] After all she all, She carried on After all, she carried on After all she carried on After all she carried on. Heheheh. [ghetto people yelling in the street like animals] Jack flew down the wishing well… [car honking that always honks whenever I try to make music and start succeeding (but never actually leaves the lot.)] What happened first? Uh. Jack went down the rabbit hole. Yeah. And then? Auh— [nothing], Jill didn't follow him. She just carried on. Jack flew down the wishing well. [the traffic pics up; the ghetto people start acting a fool. Yes. My windows are closed. My focus is broken by the noise.] Crème filling! Nothing but— crème filling! Oh! I want a croissant. A wonderful croissant with butter And Crème filling. A wonderful croissant With butter! And crème filling especially when— —rare! Especially when! Crème filling. Crème filling. A croissant. What kind of croissant. A delicious croissant. With— butter! —and A — special— No— Delicious— With— Butter And Crème filling. A— Delicious croissant With butter And Crème Filling Where are we from? Obviously this place is hell. Why am I here Why am I here Why am I here A… Fabulous croissant. [mind you, I've still no idea I'm recording. ] V.O. actually, I was assuming I wasn't. Monologue/ talk with God [The noise picks up and I get up to record the evidence that my right to peace and quiet enjoyment of my property have been violated severely— then I realize I've been recording the whole time.[ Oh shit. (Well, there's your answer.) I didn't know I was recording. Well, thats's how this all started. And I guess, how it ends. It's true, I started the series by accident when in my homeless despair, my talking to God out loud began being recorded by my iPhone just turning itself on and recording at random. In this instance, I had probably started the recording for the motorcycles and forgotten about it, but having been sick for days from the motorcycles and noise to no avail, I had begun to exhibit symptoms of extreme stress much akin to the homelessness in which the series started; erratic behaviors such as speaking freely out loud without the intention of being heard— and yet being heard anyway. I wasn't happy in New York, and I still felt homeless. The insanity might have been trademark New York, but it wasn't trademark me. I counted my blessings and all of my change; I knew I would have to leave for my own health, but I didn't know how—and returning to the streets was not an option. I was done playing the victim, and done complaining— my stomach churning with indigestion and my head gnawing with the congestion of a two year long head cold. Something needed to change, and rapidly— New York was turning against my mind, and my mind was turning against my body. This was no game— it was somebody's business. But to me, it was personal. This was my mind and my body being tampered with, and my soul remained at large. Something else entirely was begging to take over; whatever was attempting to destroy me had to be destroyed. Immidiately. This happy accident had to have been the end of the series— the show would come down soon and everything I had written with it. My life and my safety were at stake. I had nothing to risk, but also nothing to lose. I think they call that a lose cannon. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™] Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

  • May 2, 2025 · 1 hr 5 min

    [closure.]

    I represent the respectful west coast Dressed to reflect my deepest and innermost thoughts I just bought some time And a plot of land I just lost my mind But I found the promised lands Kick rocks and aim all your trash into waste baskets Instagram brats with fake stats and bad habits Awake but not woke Got cash but still broke Suffocating in a choke hold New York must think I'm New, too But I'm so old. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

  • Apr 29, 2025 · 9 min

    [Tears of A Clown.]

    She stole my Rolex! Why were you wearing a Rolex!? … I wasn't. L E G E N D S You know I'm you, right? Prove it. What way. How many jellybeans are in this jar. 406– [he sneakily drops one jellybean—] —407. Unremarkable bitch. I pulled the shows off the shelves faster than anyone else could get to them; I was being tortured in my own apartment— and for what reason, I was unsure— but I knew this: everything had to come down and out of the internet. Out of the cloud, and off the grid. Someone was attacking me, and I wasn't safe. This wasn't just some paranoid or schizophrenic rampage— someone had used technology to hack into my life and make it a living hell. And for what? I had become nearly not useful at all. I wasn't writing or creating like I used to, I wasn't working out. I was catatonic with depression— but it wasn't just some mental disorder or something happening in my mind— other humans— multiple humans, actually, were being used to suffocate me into nothingness. Snuffing out and squandering my creativity and filling me with panic, thoughts of doom— slamming doors on one end and raving engines on the other, my life had turned into a sonic nightmare. Furthermore, I had begun pulling down every instance of recorded history that had been part of the show; the pattern was remarkable. I had been chased around and tortured for years. This was more than just some rouse— this was a political tactic. Perhaps my once ambitions had been taken too seriously, but I was neither of any interest or threat. Those puppets were in their places and in all I didn't care what happened— unless it was directly to me or at me, which it often was. I stayed silent, knowing that everything was at risk. I was certainly being watched and listened to inside of and outside of my apartment and I realized that no matter how I tried to report or rationalize it with anyone else, it all made me sound crazy. Everyone and everything around was programmed to react as if the things were happening were not happening at all, or as if I was struggling with some sort of mental illness or delusions, but by now I was actually starting to struggle, because I had been tampered with an altered and tortured and sabotaged to the point of insanity— and there as no help, there was no one to run to. These were military tactics and strategies of war— anyone I could try to tell was being controlled by the entity that was conducting the system of control. The neighbor girl, the traffic sounds, the property management; it was no curse! It was a system designed to drive me crazy in order to limit my functionality and credibility in case I actually did decide to pursue politics. But I was far from it, and closer to actually disappearing than ever because in a certain respect, I kind of could if I wanted. What I tell you? I'm not stupid. I got trackers. Fucking crackers. What I tell you? I got hacked. What I tell you? It's a trap. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

  • Apr 27, 2025 · 1 hr 11 min

    {it’s Saturday Night!}

    Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

  • Apr 27, 2025 · 1 hr 6 min

    {the isms.}

    Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

  • Apr 27, 2025 · 1 hr 11 min

    {The Foreseeable Future}

    Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

  • Apr 25, 2025 · 1 hr 3 min

    4:44 | Happy Accidents -Ū.

    He's older than most of them come, but strongly on, my boy Still all but one of my sons The cone And the kite And the aught, or the what My hooks on dollars And eyes on the collars No lipstick so far, no song often sung I bought her a songbird I bought her a birdsong. Watch and learn We're all at the funeral parlor We're all at the Car wash Hot and subtle Sticky, suddenly The world got lonely Suddenly forgot, We're still one of five One of five Suddenly forgot We're all dollar signs! Dollar signs Give me a dollop, a dollop of love Give ma a green eye, a blonde And a hot corpse corporal undergarments t Ten thousand signed under us My bill fronts for much further Fuhrer {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™] THE FESTIVAL PROJECT COPYRIGHT 2015-2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED -JK.

  • Apr 17, 2025 · 1 hr 17 min

    {Mrs. Gillespie’s Refrigerator}

    They say new York drinking water is some of the cleanest— don't buy it! I saw a billboard that said 8 glasses of tap water will prevent a heart attack. That's because it already has so much asprin in it! Yooo! Don't drink that! “Some of the cleanest drinking water in the country” Then what the fuck is in the tap water in the rest of the country?! New York tap water ain't right! It's not. Even my brita filter is like “Well, I'll do my best” But it doesn't. I drink tap water out the brita filter and I'm still like “Well geez, I'm sleepy” Fuck that. I moved to New York and had to double triple my budget for water. “New York tap water is “potable” What doe ther even mean. Notice it's not the word “safe” or “healthy” or “clean” It's “potable” Which means— It passes for people we don't really consider people anyway. If you can't afford a real clean water then you deserve whatever's in this mess here— “It's potable” Don't trust that. This is coming from the same government that tried to tell us ketchup was a vegetable. KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE = NEW YORK DRINKING WATER IS SAFE TO DRINK. THIS IS THE SAME LIE. TRANSACRIPT: (Uncorrected, cause this is a lot of words.) We'll see how bad it gets. Good morning Krusty crew! you guys are Kusty crew now. I'm sure at least a few of you listeners are Krusty, like my morning voice. Hello. This episode is brought to you by Amazon. I'm just kidding. They're not paying me. However, I always have like a particular difficulty, like retrieving my Amazon fresh order, and I'm pretty sure so that it's it's so that I can come back on here and be like,Yo, okay, like what the fuck is up with Amazon? And allthough I don't think they need advertising. I haven't seen an actual television and like years, but I've never seen a commercial for Amazon. I've never seen a commercial like they don't need it. They fucking totally cornered the market on every fucking thing you need. Everything. like to the point that some people are like specifically like anti-amazon, which I don't know, I think I want to pride myself on being anti-amon for a while, but really Amazon was like anti-me. They're like your identity. You're sketchy. Now, who are you? I like I couldn't I couldn't Amazon for the longest time and it caused me the greatest difficulty in my life. I was literally paying like more for everything that I needed period. There was no like there was no finagling. I just love finagling. I don't know why. There't there was no getting around it. Like I couldn't just like oh, like here's a here's a fucking alternative to Abbott, there's no alternatives. Like I found companies in the process of doing that that I do like, but like I still have to revert back to Amazon because like most of those companies are like really good, like sustainable companies and like organic companies and like even small businesses, but at the same time, because they are those things, they cost me more and so it's like I can't afford like not to do this anyway. what's going on? We get an episode today. Well, we get we get an episode. We according to this Amazon hall, by the way took two days, like I thought that I was making an order because I was well, here here it is. It's like this was my equivalent for like drunk ordering anything. I don't drink. But if there, you know, if there's like a close, you know, like, I don't know. I don't think I could actually manage to my indigenous heritage kind of grants me like a certain functionality when drinking, although there's like a level. There's like a limit. Like I go from completely functional and like cooperative to no, like very quickly. So I don't think that I could be the type of like blacked out drunk person to order on Amazon. But if I were, this is this is the order I would have made. I guess you could I guess you could kind of compare the fact that like I went out after, what, two days of not working out? I had to go run an errand and that was the worst. That was the worst. I went out in New York ugly for the first time and I went out in New York ugly for the first time in a long time because I I was like, okay, I learned my lesson. like don't be ugly in New York. So I went out ugly because I didn't care. I was like, okay, well, I have to do this fucking errand and everything was bad. Everything went wrong. Everything was bad because well, I mean like I blamed myself I wasn't working out. I think I ran like a considerable amount that day and did like maybe 15 minutes on the pelone, but it wasn't enough. because I I went out and like lights were flickering and there was I was like, what? fucking side dimension is this is not where I live? This is not the place, this is not the place. and so I went out and I had a horrible time, and when I came back, I was like, fuck it, I'm hungry. and I'm pretty sure I just did what's fucked up is damn, I meant to Google. I meant to Google whatever the fuck the thing is that you do before Passover. I'm pretty sure it's called Schchitz. Like I'm not 100% sure because I keep telling myself like I'm gonna Google that. Passover is literally like tomorrow. But also I just got rice. And I left lintils off of my I think lintils is a no, no. I think it's disputed. Like people are like lintels and oats and some people are like yes, and some people are like no. And I'm like,Yo, dude, well, I'm vegan. And a lot of Jews are not, so I mean, like can't we just like substitute, but like the whole point of schitz or whatever you call it, I need to look it up. I'm pretty sure it's Fish. Sch fits like 90% sure, but that's I mean like 90 still 90's and A. It's a low A, but it's an A. And so I think it's something close. I think it starts with the S and ends with a Z like most Jewish and or Yiddish slang terms. or words. I don't know, I love Jews. I'm obsessed with them. I've been thinking about going to like actual services on Saturdays. However, I I like I find it hard to actually move myself on Saturdays in New York. I'm like there's too much. It's too much. It's too much. I don't wanna be out. fuck this. I don't wanna go out even if it's like too a Jew church, like it might be worth it. Especially if it was like like you know, nothing like Mormon church, not in the middle of the day for five hours. Not in the middle of the day for five hours, it might be. I mean, like I don't I don't know. I don't know anything about the actual, like I don't know anything about that shit. I just have it somewhere in my body. I'm like Jew things. hello Jews. anyway. it's no secret. I love Jews. I love Mormons. I actually like all the people. especially people who practice religiously like religiously. I'm like, oho, dude, like, well, I mean like they're extremists, but they're extremists atheists. so I mean like both of like just to be an extremist in any way is wrong. I worked very, very minimally for in for an extremist vegan last year, and I'm still traumatized by it. I still like he grabbed my backpack to keep me from fucking catching the bus and which, by the way, was the day that I lost my wallet. I specifically blame that. like I blame him for that. like I dropped my wallet because he was like, oh, we have to do this or we have to do a group hug. And he like, I was like, oh, nope, my bus is coming and he grabbed the in and he grabbed the back of my backpack and like for some reason now he grabbed the back of my backpack and I was like, what the fuck you doing? He was like, we have to do a group hug. And then I was like, yo, and then I ended up running for the bus and like g getting paid and not having my wallet with me by the time I got back to my apartment, cause I was like shaking him. I was like, the fuck are you pulling on me? Now every time I get every time I get caught on something, I cuss that motherfucker out. like, I don't know. I don't know if it has any direct, like effect on him, cause like every time, every time I get caught on something, and I feel like the motion of a pull, I I just start cussing him out in my brain. I'm like,uck this dude. I hate you. But anyway, I hated him for a lot of reasons. I didn't quit that job cause he paid in cash at the end of each day. It was like he was like one of those horrible people that's like bro, I don't like and everybody knew it and everybody like tipted and walked on eggshells around this motherfucker. But like he paid in cash. He paid in cash tax free at the end of each day, so it was like, yo, if you could get through the end of each day without quitting, you get your whole paycheck today, which and he was paying like a pretty living wage like over minimum wage for New York. So I was like, okay, all right. But I think that I think that was the game. It was like I was supposed to quit because he was like he was terrible. and it was like, why haven't you quit yet? I'm like, he pays in cash. At the end of the day, like all I have to do is suffer through this fruit. however long it takes to get cash at the end of the day. Then I drop my wallet and that was a terrible thing because he paid in cash at the end of the day and I dropped my wallet and nobody's turning in a fucking wallet with a full paycheck of cash in it. So I never got that wallet back and then I well, we could call it like a draw not too long after because he he was like, why haven't you quit yet? I'm going to make you quit. I'm like, you will not make me quit. I will get paid cash at the end of this day. Cash. Anyway, anyway, it's tax free cash, daily, I'll be back. Anyw, what's going on? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Was that saying something about Amazon? Oh, extremists. I mean, like I don't I don't think that has anything to do with anything, but being extreme oh, he is extremist vegan. Like he would do mean things to you to try to make you be like oh, I give up meat completely and like veganism is one of those things where it's like it's like alcoholism. Like you have to be ready to change. You get or like ear anything, honestly. like any kind of whatever, like you can't make a person do anything until they're ready. Like you can try, but like most of the time the behavior is just gonna revert back to itself like overeating not working out not working out, like the sugar, like dietary changes, like pretty much any like major behavioral changes have to be initiated by that person for like a personal reason. Like you and even if you are going to convince them to change in some way, you have to like you have to suit them. You have to make it kind of seem like it's their idea. Like you can't just force your ideas onto somebody and be like, oh, you're you know what, you're right. Like I would change because you were this fucking mean to me. I'm like, that doesn't make actually, you know what, after a year of going out at New York, I was like, fine. And then I remembered why because I was like, it's not that bad, whatever, sweatuit and I had fucking I've been getting a lot of work done, so I had my nails like Cardi B long for a while, but then I was like, this is inefficient. if for the things that I have to do, like the amount of things that I have to do with my hands, I can get all this done quicker and then do my nails again later as's not gonna be like that big of a deal, because it, you know, like it you do just figure out a different way to do things with your hands. It's like almost like the nails aren't there, except for typing. And I type very fast and I work very fast, so I'm like, okay, like, these nails gotta go. And so they went. And so I've just been down back to bare bones and like natural hair and no makeup and like yo, yesterday, yes, because I did this twice because I was like once you do it once, I was like I was already like in the bottom of like people scowling at me and shit. So I was like, okay, well, you know, scowls, whatever, I can do this again because I have like one more errand and this dude, this kid this kid that works at the Walgreens was like, oh, I thought you were a terrorist. Like, he didn't say that, but he did. He was like he was like, I thought you were gonna lay down and like, I thought it was over. I thought you were gonna like pull out a can of C4 and blow us all up. And I was like, what? And I forgot that I was like usually like when I go out pretty people treat me nice cause duh. felt like when I go out like regular, people are like oh, like oh, like I'm like, oh, is it that bad? That's what I told the kid, cause I forgot like, I'm just so used to like, I'm still the same consciousness. I'm still the same personality on the inside like it don't matter like, you know, like I just ran here. I I'm like high on endorphins or whatever. likeT's like he was like, oh, like, oh, and I was like, oh, God, is it that bad? I have like a cone head because I'm wearing a bun, but I'm also wearing a hat and a hood, cause it's been nicely cold. It's been great and I I'm worried about the environment cause it's not raining. It's spring, like we're about the hop straight from like the dead of winter to summer and it like and I know it's almost summer because it was like 9 pm last night and the sun had just gone down. I was like, oh, that's fucked up. It's spring again. I was like no, as bad news. It's like that's bad news. It hasn't rained once. Like how are the fucking people? Like, what is the birth doing? Because I mean, like the P people are bad. Well, I mean, like no, not necessarily. I just hadn't like, honestly, the people are always the same. It's like perception, so like when I do my hour on the pelotone and my mild minimum run or whatever, and then I go out into the world, I'm like literally don't like all that shit like bounces off of me. Like the people are still shitty. I'm sure of it. but like I'm just just don't care. It's like a shield live like indoor friends feeling at my peak. That's what I feel. But lately I haven't been feeling great so I haven't been working out, so I haven't I haven't been feeling great because I haven't been working out and it is it has the possibility to be what's it called a vicious cycle, but it did it. Like I was I realized it right away that I was like, oh, this is this is wrong. This is wrong, I don't live here. I don't live here, and I had a very good hour on the pillot last night because two two days ago, I was like, oh, this is this is what happened. I went out and I came back and I was feeling like negative. I was like, no, that was a bad experience. I' hungry now because, you know, sometimes anxiety causes my stomach to churn in a way that's like just fill it with something. And I'm like, okay, usually I understand like anxiety, eating and I can avoid it. Like I understand that like, okay, this is stress or whatever. and I can like, you know, just fill my stomach with water as I'm not hungry. I'm like nervous. I'm not hungry I have anxiety. Like most of the time people eat because they're bored, not because they're hungry. And so I'm like, you know, I'm I don't I haven't I don't mind at all. And so I kind of refuse to allow myself to get bored, but like I do notice like like I eat more when I put like, okay, this this Amazon hall says to me that I'm about to make some ball music because it is the equivalent of something that's like I would have done in a state of like a different state of mind or consciousness as if I were drinking. This this like, okay, like our only emptied it pre-pisode because I was sure that I was like, oh, I know I have ice cream in here. I finally found the fucking bin and Jerry's that I wanted. I was so sick of going to the store and looking through fucking like container after container of bin and Jerry's and not finding the one that I rigid like the first one that I picked up, the first time that I decided like, I'm going to give n non-air Ben and Jerry's a try. I've tried all the other expensive fucking ice creams vegans, and I'm for the most like oh, this one's kind of got like ice chips in it's like freezer burnt tasting this one melts funny and turns into like a gelatinous goo. So I'm like okay Ben and Jerry's like knows what the fuck they're doing and they do what's fucked up about Ben and Jerry's is they're non-airy tastes and is texturized, like they regular ice cream. So it's like the closest thing to regular ice cream. I don't get paid by the way, by any of these people. However, I am like now getting into like the the likeet verse of doing things because I have to because I'm like I make too much music for people not to know about it. Like whether it's gonna be like mediocre bass music or eventually like, I don't know, the most legendary bass music of all time. I now have goals. Well, I mean, like I kind of entered into this DJ thing with like the one thing. I was like, okay, like, if I can't be this, like, what is the point of being like anything else if I can't be this good at doing that, like why would I even like and then I realized I'm like, oh, I'm doing like a house oriented sets, but like, yo, I came here for dubstep. Like, what? oh, are we going to talk about some? We have to talk about subtrronics because I can't I'm like, yo, I can't like, what? Like, I understand as a like, I'm I'm a double fan now because I okay, let's finish all these things. Don't go out in New York ugly. Just don't be ugly in New York. Just don't do it. Just try. just try. just try and New York will give you back an energy what you fucking like it's you you get out of it what you put in. Just try, try. I see people wearing less croccks now. This is good, like, but my equivalent of not wearing crocs is like yo like hair and makeup every day, like non-negotiable. Don't be ugly. I'm like, okay, all right, whatever. I get an out, that kid was like, oh, are you a terrorist? I was like, what the fuck, kid? Like, you were you were nice to me the other day. I'm the same person. I'm the same person making the same transaction, what the fuck? Anyway, so I got back from my errands feeling just totally destroyed. and I made this Amazon hall, but I thought that I was gonna eat in a few hours, whatever I was ordering instead of two days from when I was ordering, they were like, oh no, this is the next available delivery window. I was like that is a deficit to like my like, what if I don't want it two days from now? This is technically an impulse decision based on the fact that I'm reacting badly to whatever the fuck just happened outside. Actually, you know what, though. I just unpacked this fucking Amazon hall, which, by the way, I get the most expensive and non-exciting Amazon haul of all time. The only is like of all time, every time I order Amazon, I'm disappointed unless dish soap or like, I don't know, cleaning supplies. I get like a certain I'm like, yes, it's here. Lysyle has a new fucking scent that I'm just I adore it. I'm like, yo, yo, this doesn't smell like anything I've smelled before for like cleaning. It's like the fabulosa ofysol, which why haven't I just been using fabuloso? Fabuloso used to be mad cheap. Now everybody like caught on to the fact that fabuloso is one of the best multiurpose cleaners ever like of all time. No, they're not paying me either, but I don't really care. Like my whole new thing is like, my whole new thing is like everybody's like subscribe this and fucking $15 a month and like y, dude, you're sucking everybody's income out of them, like everybody who's living under a certain level of fucking like everybody who can't just buy things flat out has to buy them on a subscription and if you count up all the subscriptions like that's like the whole like the common American worker right now, like the common one, like not the, oh, I have an okay job or like, you know, you should just get an education or like, whatever you're elitist mentality makes you think that like your life and your privilege is not like your life and your privilege is your merit. That's I'm not talking about you because you skated through life on your genetics, basically, and you think that you earned what you have, but you didn't. Your grandparents and their parents did and blah, blah, blah, and your lucky that way. But the rest of us are out here like $15 a month for this $20 a month for that. and it adds up to like your entire income is like, okay, after your living expenses like you're still gonna be in like a pretty unshakable amount of debt. because you're like, okay, well, I mean, like I can't afford to do it flat out. Like if I did all these subscriptions at once, flat out, and each of them is like 200 hundred a year, if I did them all flat out, I would be like, I don't know, like at least 5K like a year just like at once. I don't have that. Most people don't have that. and so it's like, okay, well, you can break it down and this is how the businesses are fucking people. They're like oh well, I mean like you can pay for it monthly but it's actually more monthly. Like you save money if you do it yearly, but it's like oh, but if I need everything pretty much all at wants if I need everything pretty much all at once and I can't afford to do everything all at once by the year, I'm actually going to pay more doing it by the month, but I can only afford to do it by the month. So this is the thing that's like fucking with me. I'm like, oh, you guys are fucking with people. What's my point? Oh, I don't know, oh, everybody's being fucking greedy as fuck, which is is just leaving a bad taste in my mouth for humanity at all. I'm like, you greedy motherfuckers. Like, I might live this life in an in an ideal way for now, but it is a temporary space of like discomfort in order for me to observe and understand, like, how better my energy can be suited in the next don't I don't. I mean, like my next incarnation needs to be like a body list, like orb of air and light. Like that's I don't want another like human body, because first of all the planet is like unless you guys find like another habitable planet. and like, I'm not in the I'm not in the fucking level yet where they're gonna be like, oh, like you're fucking worth saving, like we'll take you to our like, we'll take you to our Elysium in space, where only the elite people and the people that we deem worthy will be here and we'll leave like pretty much Hollywood's been telling us forever. They're like, yo, we're gonna leave all the poor ugly, colored people on this planet. and like, when this planet is like destroyed by it by pretty much our doing. And we're gonna like float on some kind of system and space because we have no idea for like a second, like a close enough habitable planet for us to then, like just move on to, like, I don't care what you say, like repopulating Mars is dumb. It is dumb. It is dumb. It's not a fucking it's not a happy place. Like because at one point, because at one point it was a habitable planet. And guess what? we're we're pretty destructive species. It's just historically and like beyond historically, because typically once we destroy ourselves, like as a species, all of our knowledge all of our knowledge and records are destroyed with us. So we have this like, we have this sense of knowing within our like within our mega that's like, oh, if something happened here. But what? And some people have actually access to that within their minds and within their consciousness. It's like, oh yeah, it's like, like, yeah, a lot ofass music producers are like, what, you think I'm from here? I don't give a fuck about this. I don't give a fuck about this. I'm like, I get it. Like this is just for now. This is just for now. I might be included in this, but also I'm like, yo, dude, like I'm pretty environmental when it comes down to like this planet is, you know, anyway. was I just saying, don't be ugly in New York. Oh, okay, so I made this Amazon fucking hall, like a drunk fucking person. Although, like a drunk person, I was kind of looking out for my future self because there's a lot of stable, like there's a lot of pantry staples in here that's like, bro, you won' run out of food. like you might have rice blowat, but you won't run out of food because sometimes I do sometimes I spring so much for the organic and for the like for the like vitamin packs, like superfoods they call it superfoods, but those are just regular foods. Like if you strip down all the foods that are not foods, like all the foods that are actually just like chemical and overprocessed, like if you took all those things off the planet, because they shouldn't exist really anyway. Like you would be left with what they call superfoods or what they market as superfoods that are actually just foods. like, no, these are the foods that you were technically like designed to eat. These are the foods that will fuel your energy for whatever the fuck you have to take on. This is the food that you're like you're made to eat. But they call it superfoods and market it as such and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just got bored. Anyway, what the fuck was that saying? Oh, I took I had like had a hand and creating my next masterpiece. Because I got things that I typically don't. I'm I don't fuck with things like that, like snack foods. But as I said before, like we're not produced that snack, I really do, and I haven't been snacking because I'm like, oh dude, like it's not worth it. I'm I'm New York vein like also have these DJs are just like so skinny, and I'm just like, oh, this body shaving, you can't say that or. I'm like, no, like I aspire to be that. so that people actually pay attention not for what I'm doing, but how I look. So trust me, I'm assimilating. I really am. Oh, which, by the way, I have a discord now. I don't know what the fuck it's for. I have no idea I also have a twitch. I have a twitch. There's nothing on it. I have I have pretty much everything. I even got a Snapchat. I haven't had a sn Snapchat since Ollie died because Ollie was my only sn Snapchat friend as it I have a sn Snapchat. This is all for music though. It's not like when I think about it, I'm like oh, this is the dumbest fucking shit ever and I'm do it when I'm fucking I'm actually figuring out like I'm using like I have TikTok eww and well what's great about it is I am using it like as a business tool so I'm not stuck on the shit like I'm not I am scrolling now, but not I'm like what's weird is like my energy is like looking for something. I'm like oh like okay, like this DJ posted something or like this might want a free copy of my fucking of my music to play or whatever. So I should hit them up. Like as I'm using it as a business platform more than like a social platform because I'm just not just not a social person. It doesn't make sense to be, but now I'm understanding like with the feedback that I'm getting that like, oh, this is how you do it. Like I'm not gonna get a job in this industry unless I assimilate to like what I'm hoping doesn't happen is that I assimilate too much because now all of a sudden I'm like I should get a vape I should get a vape like all the kind that I like are illegal in New York. And I'm actually really proud of the fact that I quit vaping when I got here like when I got here because I was thinking that I was traveling outside of the country and like I didn't want to be like I don't know, traveling outside of the US makes me feel like I'm an ambassador for my country so I don't want to represent my country badly. However, I feel like the actual chosen representatives of the country are not doing like the greatest job. so it doesn't matter what I do like because they are technically the ambassadors to this country like they like I'm pretty much aware like a stamp on my head that has their fucking face and or name on it when I go outside the country anyway I don't know I I usually try to assimilate in that way when I travel outside of the country like learn to speak like you're not American because most countries have an opinion about that. They're like oh you're an American deer, they're you're stupid. I'm like I'm not arguing. How many miles is a kilometer? Can you translate this before we hold up? Let me get Google translate? I'm I'm American, man. I'm American to the point where I have the fucking math doesn't make sense. Like it doesn't make sense. Apple pie, I yeah, apple pie. However, though, I realized because of this, and my indigenous heritage, I have kind of like a like a weird, I don't know, I can't I amm not sure. Like I think because of the way that I've decided to craft my lifestyle, I have like kind of an upperhand advantage at like understanding culture, like understanding culture just culturally, like what has happened from like the inside of the like the like the corporate, like conglomerate capitalists, like like set epicenter. Well, I don't know. I've been reading enough about China to be like wow, China. Also, I't I'm loving this. I'm getting I'm getting feedback on my fucking like my what's it called? My stats or whatever. And I don't have a lot of fans and followers, which is sad, which by the way, if you're listening to this, like check check out my other big gold check out the YouTube. It's at the festival project by the way YouTube YouTubeube.com slash at because it's weird that they have like for their backslashes, but it's at the festival project I'm the festival project. There's a whole bunch of people trying to really like I've been telling people that my project is the festival project for a while and now all these people are coming out of nowhere like I'm the festival project. I'm like, you are not. Like, you are not the festival project. Stop lying on yourself. I'm the festival project. I've always been the festival project, at the festival project, that's me, not anybody else. That's you, technically, like the letter you, with no check mark because I'm not paying for that shit. Would I become notable enough to have a Wikipedia page, they'll put the fucking check mark on it for me. I ain't paying for it. I'm paying for it the fuck that like that's like you could buy a grabby award now. I'm sure that you can. I' 100% sure that you could do that. Which is sad and it's likeo, dude, I actually like I what's it? I I don't know. I think I come from a weird world where it's like I hold the academy to like such high regard that it's like I'm like the fact that I'm like pretty certain that you could buy a Grammy makes me sad because it's like like I don't know this whole oh, that's what I was saying. I'm giving away all my shit for free because everybody's greedy motherfuckers. Like I'm giving away my music for free like the album that I dropped yesterday all the rage is 100% free. All you have to do is go on my website and download it. That's it like you don't even have to spend money on a subscription for a streaming service like you could just go get that at my website www.mU.uru. That's the website you can just download whatever the fuck I haven't put all my music up there because honestly I'm I'm realizing how much music I have and like how long I've been making music and I'm like, oh you're like oh okay, first of all, I'm like it's gonna be it's hard it's hard enough for me to just format it and put it on a flash drive just to like have all my music together because I've made it over time and so the expand it it's just a lot like it's just a lot all my music's not in one place, all my mixtapes are not in one place. I just got to sound cloudy yesterday. I only got a SoundCloud to enter a fucking beat making contests the first time I've ever done anything like that like I've entered DJ contests so I can try to get a job, but I've never done a beat making contest, so I've never had to actually like condense my creative space into like a one minute thing. And so, I don't know, I really enjoyed doing that, but it's not something that I was looking at the other contest, they were like, it's for a clout. I'm like, that's stupid. I don't want to waste time on clout. Cloths not gonna pay my bills, anyhho. Clout. Oh, what was I saying? Oh, I was supposed to talk about subtrronics, my Galypes, refrigerator. These Ecuadorian bananas. Okay, I have a like I eat a lot of bananas because bananas and for whatever reason, if found bananas like synonymous with New York City, I always have even before before I lived here, I think it's just because it was like the cheapest thing that I could find is like bananas like bananas. That's what I gonna eat bananas. So I always just kind of like for some reason it was like, oh, from in New York, I need bananas. Now I live in New York and I'm like I see why. But now I'm like my flavor palate is changing to be more specific and so I'm like a banana connoisseur, but I finally like I landed on a I landed on bananas. I landed on bananas that I just love so much. First of all, they're huge, they're huge. I also like these really tiny bananas that are like sweet and little and like they have a very specific taste, and I like the red ones, and yo, that lady when I lived in Mexico, she was so elusive, like she came she was the only lady in the whole place with red bananas and like these red, these really tiny red bananas have like the like they're the best bananas I've ever tried. But the second bananas, the second best bananas I've ever tried are Ecuadorian bananas. and I'm like, yo, dude, first of all, they are huge. Like they're big thick, they're like big, they're big and they're d they're big, big, perfectly sized bananas. good girth. good, nice, just good bananas. They're huge. and uh I don't know, like I started going to the store and then I stopped going to it because rac is oops, I'm not supposed to say that. I I just realize something. I realize something about the world like that you can't even you can't even insinuate like a conversation about race. Like people people will get like people start to get upset, like one way or another. Like I said, extremism on both sides exists. I don't like I can't I'm I'm post racial. Like I can't pick a side anyway like you're gonna put me on one side or another based on your perception of who I am or what I do but like I'm completely like I'm like literally the most neutral thing that ever like literally the most neutral thing that ever. And so what was I just saying, oh, I don't know, I went into a hole. Acuadorian bananas. We'll just we'll just re her back to Acuadorian bananas. Yes, extremism, no. Ecuadorian bananas, yes. They are the best. They are the best, and not only is the size perfect, but the flavor of the banana is just a little bit different from like Guatemalan bananas or Mexican bananas, like no, Ecuadorian bananas. And so now I've gotten into the habit of like, I found another store that has Ecuadorian bananas, thank goodness, because like when I stopped going to the other store, I was like god damn it, they have the Ecuadorian bananas. like that was the one thing from there that I liked and the Uber pancakes. But we'll it's okay. That controversial episode, which I'm like, what's it called? referencing may or may not er. I need to it's like a twohour episode that I did in an emotional kind of turmoil. I need to check that episode to see if I want to air it. It might it might not. Like it could just be like deleted, because I felt like it was forced. I was like why are you try why are you trying to make me act out of my fucking character? Fuck you. Like I don't like when people try to force things. So that sometimes happens where people will come out of the woodwork and be like, talk about this experience. And I'm like, "Yo, dude, you just cornered me into making me feel like unsafe and not great. I don't necessarily and then it was like the energy was like, okay, I have to talk about this, but I didn't like the way that it made me feel. So the fact that it felt forced was like eh but I definitely earned that next tattoo. I'm I'm behind on tattoos I have two tattoos that I have to get it. I definitely earn that one. I earn that one with the help of Erica body, but I'll explain that in some in the multiverse and legends things later. I don't understand how things work sometimes in the universe, but that was one of those things I was like this is this is not even a synchronicity. This is like a this is an experience. We'll see if that episode's worth posting, but either way, I in the tattoo, I earn the tattoo beforehand, that was just the solidification, I think. Anyhho. what the fuck is I say? Ah, Ecuore bananas, yes, yes. Because it makes me think like like, if their bananas are like this, what are their women like? Like, I could give no fucks about the men. I'm not a lesbian, but like, I'm thinking in the way of like a I'm thinking in the masculine way that's like, you know, if they're bananas tastes like this, like, what are their women like Ecuadorian bananas? I think about that, because I'm like yod dude, like my taste profile is based on my diet. So, if these bananas come from Euador, like, what else comes from Ecuador that's fucking perfect. probably women. I don't believe in perfect men. I mean, like perfect looking, sure, perfect acting, sure, a combination of these things to together, rare, but like a per perfect women exist all over the place. Like perfect men. I don't think is a thing. I don't think it is. And that's not me being sexist or like because honestly, if you listen to the way that I speak, like being like a I don't have a preference for gender, just don't be a fucking sh shit hole of a human being. Like I don't care what you are, how you are, like just be cool, you know, like B peaceful and mind your manners and shut the fuck up. I mean like I'm not trying to silence people, but like be mindful of your environment. You know what I'm saying? Be mindful of people around you because there are so many there so many. And you are the focus I to try to say Acuadorian bananas, yes, as good. Are we ready to talk about subronics? Did I talk about all my websites and stuff? We have a discord. It's I think you can find me on discord at blue the guru and it's the same on twitch. I haven't posted anything to twitch yet. I did. I did tape a couple of my performances, but they were horrible. They were horrible and honestly they were just so that I could enter a contest so I could try to get a job. Like that was it. I did that. I was like, well, I have to do something because you you miss 100% percent of the chances you don't take. I believe truly in that so like I would rather enter something that's like mediocre and at least be on the radar and be like, hey, I'm trying. Like I'm really trying with all the things that like all the things that I'm going through and all the work that I have to do like I'm at least trying to get my work seen and I'm at least trying to put it out there and like, you know, the odds of me winning at something like that, especially if it is last minute and it is like mediocre and I know it's not my best performance, which, by the way, I think okay, people really like, oh, this is what I was saying about my audience. One, people really like talkatoo. That's one of my first actual productions, okay? It has almost no technique whatsoever. Well, it does, and I I did work like really hard on it, but like yo, I made that song in a tree, literally a tree, like like a tree. People like this song. It's for some reason gotten really popular, like no out of nowhere. Like people are like this song. I'm like, really? I made that in a tree with no plugins, no I'm pretty sure it's all stock samples. People love it. People love that song, but honestly it is one of my like it is it like it mixes with everything, talking to like if you need like a filler song and I think it is long enough that's like, yo, dude. Like, if you need to go to the bathroom or whatever, like this song is like the song rocks. And honestly, I don't know why that well, I mean, like that song is special. It was the first song I ever heard played back on a system at a festival. because I was like, like here's my music, whatever. And I didn't expect because the DJ was like,, you suck. And I was like, and just be just looking at me because I like ran up during a fucking uh, like a power outage at this fucking rave. I was like, yo, like this this might be the only time that I could actually talk to the you you miss 100% of the chances you don't take. So I was like, okay, like, this might be the only time I could talk to this guy. The power just went out and I was like, then now is my chance because like otherwise mid party and it was a good party, like it was a good one. It was a good it was it was a good one. It was a really great. It was a really great. um but, yeah, that was the first time I ever heard my music played back because I like ran up and I was like yod like here here's me, here's my music, here's a flas I have like you could keep it. has my music on it and it had I think at the I think it just had copy and paste on it like that whole EP was done and so a copy and paste is just talk to this other song called Nero, which has me like hand drumming on it, which is a cool song too. I use the Ableton push. I love the Ableton push and I had to forfeit it because it wasn't going back in my luggage. I couldn't afford it. So somebody fucking I feel charitable about this. Somebody inherited a $1200 at the time that it's depreciated, somebody inherited what I paid $1200 for for free, I think we're even. Anyway, um I add in uteroakatu and 43 on it. That's copy and paste and like, I I ran up during a blackout and I was like here. like, here's my stuff. And he was so annoyed. The DJ was so fucking annoyed. He was like, what are you saying? Like, and if they were like, the powers are, we can't get the power to come back on. so like people had started like a drum circle over in the corner and some people were leaving, they're like, you know, when the power goes out of a fucking festival or a rave like first of all, it's not a it's not a slammer. Like it's not a banging fucking festival and or rave if the power doesn't go out at least once or the cops come. Like if there's no raid, people don't get raided these days, do they? Yeah, that used to bring like a certain element of fucking like fear and excitement that like, yo, this party might only last five minutes. Let's get it anyway. It's New York old New York rave culture. hey, they're having a party over here because we're having a party over here but like shut down that party. Snitches in New York have always been a thing. like, if somebody over there is doing something that competes with your business, like you snitch on them, that would that's old school dance music culture. That's what they used to do, like those little preppy and we're not gonna put a color to it, but those little preppy boys that were like doing the old school, like underground, like break it in raves. Like that's what they were doing. They were like, oh, he's uh doing a there's a party over here in a secret place over here that shouldn't be. But those people were also doing a party and they wanted all the fucking people to come to their party and said that that party. So they were just snitch. They were just like hey, I got a tip. I got a tip on these motherfuckers. And then and then the other party would get shut down and everybody would be like, rolling balls, be like okay, we're still need a I need a party, like where's the other party? And there would always be somebody from the other party there to like usher people to the other party, like, I know where the party is. Yeah, these people. Anyway, I have I have such a love for the culture. What what the fuck was I just saying? Oh, one people have talked to which I made in a tree. That's almost that's almost discouraging. I'm like, yo dude, I'm footing in all this fucking like putting in all this extra work and like this fucking sound design and engineering and like trying to fucking trying to achieve subtronics but sober. Ha ha I'm like, uh, I'm also like ten years older than this kid. at least, excuse me, I don't know what the fuck is happening. Coffee early in the morning. Is my nose running or is it just like, oh, it's almost summer, so we're getting moist in the bitch, like we're just gonna get tepid for the next six months with no rain. Like it's gonna be like the moistures in the air. Enjoy that crawls. anyway I need to figure out what the fuck is schitz is or if that's what it's called. the longer I stay in New York. The easier it is for the old Jew and me to fucking arise. Ugh Anyway, what the fuck was I just saying? Oh, I love this about my statistics. My fans, although there are a few of them are speckled all over the world. I still don't know where Kazakhan is. but I think I have I have a couple listeners in Kazakhstan and they're in two different cities. I'm like that's pretty incredible to me. I was likeYo, dude, where the fuck is Kazakh stand? I don't know. I also found like, okay, like I don't I don't know where half these places are, but like I don't wanna go there although this place this one particular place I'm like oh dude, I don't know where the fuck you're at. I don't know where the fuck you're at and nobody knows where the fuck you're at cause I tried to look you up on a map and it was too distinctively like non places. I was like, is it this place or this place? And they're like it could be this place where that place? And I'm like cracked, but where is it? They're like nowhere, don't worry about it. I'm like damn! Okay, but I have a family there, so that's cool. I got fans all over the world, but they're like speckled. They're not, you know, by the hundreds or millions or billions. Are we gonna talk about that? Eventually, eventually, yes, we'll talk about my love of late night television. Yes, we have talked about that. But not right now. Because that could easily take up a whole episode, easily take up a whole episode. If you ever want to know the state of like if you ever want to know the state of mainstream, America, just check late night, because honestly, that's just like an anchor man dressed up in a little monkey suit as to whatever the fucking day people were talking about reiterated for the night people to understand. It's the same news. They are part of the news networks. I've just realized this cause I'm like oh no that's more like entertainment oh, it's the news. It's just the news kind of funny. It's just the same news that like whatever the NBC oh no, okay, like let's not NBC. Oh, yeah, NBC is doing enough right now. like go. No wonder why they didn't want causeby to buy the network, they would've fucked up their plans. He would have fucked up their plans. I'm like, I don't know what he was gonna do with MBC, but like he would have fucked up whatever they're doing now. That's why they prevented that. They were like, no. no, we have plans. They they're for the foreseeable future. Anyway, let's not NBC, because there's also CBS and uh that's it. At this point, I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty sure they're just like moving towards like the like a mass conglomeration of like, we're all the same. I'm like kind of like, and what's funny is they outfit themselves to pretend that they're like, I like this is so funny how left leaning it is when like all y' motherfuckers swing right easily. But I'm like, okay, I understand that this is for the masses, the masses are left swing. I'm like, okay, this is politics again, let's not do this. But everything is, it really is. Anyway, oh my go, what'll talk about my love for late night honor diff episode completely. Well, I mean, like we have a season devoted to it. We do, because I'm like, oh, they have to be like included in this in into the multiverse in legends, because like basically all of the mainstream pop culture like go like flows through late night TV. like that's where it goes. Like if you heard about it, you probably heard about it on late night TV because it is media like that's like anybody who's anybody goes through late high TV. I will not talk about all of I mean like there's so many different there's not really variations. I just said what it is. They're basically anchormen that are disguised not as anchorman. They are giving you the same news from the morning time news or the daytime talk shows, but watered down so that it seems like different news, but it's not as the same news all day. They work for the network, the network works for the dest network work for it themselves. What the fuck? I haven't figured this out yet, like on an intellectual level, I'm starting to, but it's one of those things where it's like mm kid, curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity killed and skinned many cats. Don't look here. I'm like, I got it, I get this. I got it, shut up. Shut up. Let me sit my fucking mug. guys when it comes down to it, I am assimilating well enough to be like, okay, I'm on Instagram twitch. Fucking I'm on Twitter, which is now X. I don't know. I think so. I have it. It's there like I don't use it or anything, but like I'm trying to see what the engagement for this upcoming season will be and if it works, then it works, but I have kind of thought about shooting this podcast in like a if I'm going to do anything, it's going to be anhilate night format where I have like a specific set of like this is what we're going to talk about. I do have a monkey suit picked out. I do have that because I like the format. It's easier it's easier for me to digest and then regurgitate information for my fans and followers this way. Like that's I don't know, like besides the fact that like I have been studying comedy for like the better part of two years now and that I grew up screenwriting and w like, ah, I don't know, like like I get it, though. I get why I'm so like hardwired to this. It's like yo dude, like via the television, we're so comfortable with these people because it's like oh like you're in my house like Lin Letterman, you're in my house like my whole entire existence, my whole childhood. So it's like that's like familiarity to a point that you can't you can't shake it. So like you can grow up and like, you know, the next the predecessors of the next and the next any man comes and like takes over the role of the last any man, but also like evolves the masses for the next coming generation and like the traits of the like it's it's a very interesting culture. I'm obsessed. like I love late night TV. I love TV, but I love late night TV specifically and we'll talk about that more in depth. I guess at some point because I do have to explain this entire weird what seems like an offshoot season well, it was kind of an offshoot season because I lost a season. I don't know what the fuck happened to it. Well now I'm going through my hard drives and I'm like, here it is. It's in here. It's all in here. I'm like, oh, so here we will answer my question. Soon, what did I write last year? I don't know. don't know at all. I really don't. I know a post in some of it. Some of it got like mirrored back in the universe, like, did you know you wrote this? I'm like, no, it's kind of prophetic in a way. just kind of happened. It took over my body anyway. What did I write last year? I don't know. Somebody read it. Somebody read it and then I have to do I have to do more like protections for my intellectual property because yo, I wrote half the Super Bowl commercials facts. I did I did. I was like yo,ude, I wrote this. Michael documents, what the fuck you do I Google documents? Like fuck you like fuck you unless that money is going into a pool to later pay me. When I like reach a certain level as an incentive, like we know we stole this from your fucking show, which, by the way, is just available online to anybody who fucking wants to copy and paste it and the descriptions you idiot. Yeah, I'm like yeah, well I mean like I can't really afford to join the writer's guild. They're like in that respect we will rip you off. only so that I can make sure that this commercial reaches your eyes and time for you to understand that like yo, you just put this out here for free. I'm like well love is free and music should be free. Like I'm technically just taking like a bag like a like a back step to like what the fuck is happening in the corporate world, which is sucking people like it's bleeding people who are already tired dry. And I'm like, well, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to be like, you know, like like, like, yes, I put like a PayPal about me link like if you want to donate to the festival project or later the complex collective cause I will not collect donations for my nonprofit until it's actually I've actually established the nonprofit as a 501 C3 and so like like the way that I'm doing my music right now is that like half of my profit goes to the festival project, which is like my my label, my independent label and media company. But the other half of my my like income, my earned income from music or, you know, however I earn or monetize, goes to the complex collective, which is a completely nonprofit organization, like meant to contribute back to the artists and like the artist community. not just the artist community, but just like to the overall health and wellness of like the like to to humanity as a whole, I think. Well, that's what the complex collective is kind of it's it's a health and wellness based nonprofit to the charity. So my the way that I what's it the way that I credit myself is that like the I use the complex collective, which is a nonprofit, as my music publisher, so that anything from the complex collective goes into the pool for the nonprofit, because I have to like, I can't consciously go throughout the rest of my life without giving back to my community and that way. like be because the way my life has gone so far, I don't like as much as I want to volunteer, I like well, I tried and then I like the the food bank that I volunteered for was like so and they had some organizational issues. They had some uh leadership issues. And so I was like, this is actually a toxic environment, which sucks. so I decided not to do that and uh and, you know, put all my uh energy of being like a charitable person into like my own, like I'll just my own nonprofits, non-for-profit is to give back to the community to artists and people in it in like transitionary, whatever. um That's the complex collective. So that's that's why you see that. That's why you see that badge on everything. That's the nonprofit sector. It is a subsidiary to the festival project, and I'm pretty much like devote my like I pretty much devote my my uh my gains, so to speak, into like both pools. Eventually, I'll have enough to then solidify the nonprofit with a um well, I have to you know, you have to pay. It's not it's not free for nonprofit. It's not. And so that's what that is. What else was I saying? Fans all over the world? Yes, we have fans all over the world. It's really cool. A lot of these places I've never heard of, but I do I find it a little bit, uh heartwarming and chanting, like I'm a little bit magical that like I'm hitting people in like some of the major dance cities, like Sal Paulo, Brazil, and uh like like places that are Amsterdam, London, uh I have more. I have more people in the UK than I thought, but it's okay because I I like them. I like them. Well, I like people. I like people that are people. Well, people be people on it so not all the time. Like sometimes I'm like, oh, this is like this is characteristic of your species. Like this is why this is this way. Like this is this is a whole human thing. It's not attractive at all. But I think we' close to an hour, I'd had to be oh, six minutes what do I got for six minutesronics. I'm I can't okay, I love subronics like as like Won as a fan because I went to a few of his performances. I'm not gonna lie. Every time his whole audience has BO. everybody. I'm like, oh, nobody in here has D right. But I think I got my fucking I don't know, maybe it was a sign. I was I was mixing the other day like nonstop and I'd been running around and I have a special jacket that I wear when I DJ that's like a really it's like a nice, I don't know what material it is, but it's really nice, like a uh a sports jacket, like a bomber. No, it's not a bomber style. It's like a I can't I can't remember this. It's like a sports jacket, but it's this material that's really nice. it's just always been my DJ jacket. It's like my lucky DJ jacket. and uh I usually wash it like on a delicate cycle and don't put it in the dryer to keep it preserved because it's really, really nice and I had been running around for a couple days and then mixed for like a solid, I don't know, I was in there like all together, I was in there, I think like nine or ten hours and I spent most of those the most of that time, like actively mixing because my music was not it was not s synched, so I had to hand pitch everything on four decks, which was overwhelming, which, by the way, I also did not know, which is why, like you like I did post at least one of the videos. but it's I'm embarrassed. I'm wearing yellow. yellow's not a good color. I'm looking heavy as fuck, like, oh, man, they had that video in the sidebar next to this girl, that's like a size double zero model. like fucking DJ and the rainforest with like grown footage and like HD, like, and then all her videos were like, she was she was like DJing and the one was like in the rainforest. one was like on a beach. Like she just had like she was all these destinations that had the drone footage, like money, but also like beauty just like pure beauty. Like she didn't have to do good. Like her music sounded good, but like she looked awkward as fuck not being able to dance to her own music. But still, like the like what why would you be paying attention to that when A she's beautiful, that's a distraction, be drone footage of like whatever the fucked rainforest or like tropical beach, like she was everywhere. I was like fuck this bitch. And algorithm's like Toby salty. I was like, I'm a little salty because it showed my thumbnail next to her thumb nail and I was like, no, no, no no. no like, oh so bad. So now I know. I know better than to look fat. Don't be ugly in New York. I was actually in full hair and makeup with my nails done with my Cardi B style nails. Yes, I was, but the yellow shirt on camera and it wasn't the best camera. It was like so I like I I used to have a camera like that when I first got into filmmaking when I was like eight. It was like the same camera. I'm like yo, this is bad. It's really bad. But, you know, all that's investments, investments. I don't think it's gonna be even I don't think it's gonna be any better, which, by the way, some people are delusional, bro. I just got Snapchat. I haven't had Snapchat since Allie died so I've been like I've been away from like that whole world and like seeing first of all, people actually pay money to dress their fucking, like, what are those things called? their little animated. Like, okay, you're paying money to put clothes on a on a 2D creature, you are dumb. That's why they do that, though. I'm like, oh, I need this forage shirt for my fucking Snapchat animated thing. I'm like, that's stupid. I mean, like if you got it. But still, even if you got it, it seems like I could have a million dollars and I still wouldn't spend a dollar to dress a fucking animime character. That's stupid. I like that's stupid. However, these are the same people that are posting actual like I could never post a selfie without filter on, cause I'm looking at myself in the camera with no make up and no hair and like just ugly. And I'm looking at myself in the camera and then one of these filters comes on and I'm like yo, I am beautiful. One of these filters comes out and just automatically made me pretty. And I was like, oh, like, but some people post that selfie and then they're under the or they put that as the background on their phone and they're under the illusion that that's what they look like like bitch, you don't look like that. You don't look like that you should not like that's for fun. You should not send those pictures. You should not you I don't think you should be able to save those pictures. Like, no, like, honestly, and if you post them, wouldn't it be funny if the algorithm just took off all the fucking corrections? Wouldn't it be funny if like, oh, like we see this filter, we'll just take off the filter when you post it. So like it posts with all without the Photoshop or without the filter, that would be hilarious. That'd be a funny hack. But coders who doing more like ethical things are nonethical things. I don't know what hackers do. I got accused of being one once, because I had a bunch of flash drives and hard drives. I realized that this is just like this is just what happens when you become a music producer. I'm like, I don't have space for this. I need more like I need more flash drives. I need more hard drives. I need more SD cards. Like I need space for my stuff. Somebody was like people think you're a hacker. I was like, you're an idiot. But that's hilarious. And that was one of the funniest things I've ever been accused of being, because it's like, bro, if I was a hacker, do you think I'd be staying in this fucking hostel, dummy? Fucking dumb. Why would I be hacking from this hostel? Well, I do really actually, you know what? I think that yes. But also we have more stories to tell eventually, what was I gonna say about subtrronics? I just love this music, very good, very, very good, very good. That's it. I don't have anything else to say. I thought I was gonna take up at least half an episode, because I was actively listening to it. I've been actively listening to it like sober in the middle of the day, but it is good running music sometimes. Sometimes I'm just like, oh dude, like I have to stop running and head bang. like this is inappropriate, this is inappropriate. I don't I don't know, I don't highly recommend a lot of bass music, like in the city setting, because something happens mechanically in your brain, something at least my brain, where it's like, oh, like that shouldn't synchronize this way. That shouldn't do that. Don't do that. why? What frequency? Idiots. idiots. lots the same guy, by the way. This is the same guy. He doesn't like, what's fucked up is he have a whole vehicle, he doesn't leave the neighborhood. Like he's a menace, like he does not leave the neighborhood. He doesn't. like he drives in circles all day. And like that's his that's he has like no other power. I get it. Like I' I'm understanding like I'm studying the psychology of people with small brains like this. is that like he has no power over like the rest of his life, so like that's his that's his like freedom. That's his power as being able to do that for like a second at a time, like he that's it, then he rounds the corner and does it again, then he rounds like the fucked up thing to me is it's like bro, you're not going to go anywhere with that. Like you have a whole vehicle, a whole vehicle, like anything I have to do I have to go on foot. That's I'm not gonna lie to disadvantage. I mean, like it's not too much of a disadvantage in New York, but anywhere else it's like, you don't have a car. I'm like, yeah. I don't. Like New York is probably the only place in the US that you absolutely really don't need one. You really don't. And honestly, when I see people with cars here, I'm like yo dude, I hope you paid that all the way off because like, honestly like if you're in debt for that, like you you lost like, you lost, like you're not going anywhere and it's like depreciating as you drive it, like this just like, I don't know. I saw well, I was on the bus and we hit a car. The bus kept going. Bus kept going and totally did. It did not make it didn't even flinch like the bus was like oops, you were over the line. I was like damn damn. So eventually eventually that person is gonna come out and be like, oh. ho No, anyway, we do have to talk about some of this entered the multiverse. We are over an hour, so thank you for listening. Yay, what I want on the peloton one arm on the pelotone. Again, I'm not getting paid, but I think going against the grain of like corporate greed right now is the best thing. So all of the things that I can possibly like put online for free. I'm putting online for free. um I'm also trying to get I'm trying to start the process of giving away like copies of my album for free and you know, as springtime and festival season gears up, public spaces. Oh, we didn't talk about the fluffer. First of all, I was worried that it wasn't gonna come out. Excuse me, gosh, what is happening right now? Flip? It snot. stuck somewhere trapped in my space. I'm sorry about that. If you can hear that on this recording, I apologize for that. I apologize, but whatever. Ooh, maybe, well, yeah, I do get like weird. I get weird when I don't work out enough, so I did that. I also went to the gym. I ran yesterday, and then I got on the peloton for an hour and I slept hard between like shaking myself awake to be like, my Amazon order. Like, I always like I always have a problem with the Amazon fresh people, so I'm like, yo dude, like, I'm gonna be really upset if I don't get this haulc I waited two days for it. Yo, there's an album in that hall. There's an album in that hall, so fucking like the most an uninteresting Amazon fucking whole, but it it worked out because I'm like, oh, dude, like I got producer foods because like I don't know I was feeding my anxiety and depression. I was like fuck this place. I want it's like I ordered so much shit that I never get, but it it's and it's like technically eating bad for me, but it's not. Like I'm still organic. Like I'm still vegan so it's like, oh oh, the Ben and Jerry stuff. I'm like, the Ben and Jerry's here. I gotta eat that before tomorrow. I'm pretty sure tomorrow's the beginning of Passover. I gotta eat a lot of stuff in here before Passover. ah, I got two different varieties of hummies, pineapple, mango, and it's like peach mango salsa, even better, sweet and savory, baby, and I don't know eventually at some point we're gonna have to talk about whatever I wrote last year. I don't know what it is. I don't know what's in there. But I did uh, let's see, what came out today. The fluffer, the fluffer. uh we'll talk about the fluffer real quick and then I'll go. It's off of tears of a clown, which is coming out soon, obviously. I emptied it. I was like oh, no, there's ice cream in this bitch, so I emptied everything onto the couch in search of the ice cream. Of course the ice cream was in the last bag that I emptied. and I was like, okay, I like get the ice cream in the freezer or whatever, because the Amazon dude looking for whatever reason, this was the only Amazon fucking heist, whatever it's the only Amazon package that didn't have my apartment number attached to it. So like I saw the dude a creep level, creep level security system, like I have a virtual doorman which allows me to look at whatever the fuck is going on at the front of the building. so I know that he got in the building, but he didn't come back out. So I was like, oh, like I opened the elevator for him but like there was nobody coming and I was like, what the fuck is going on? nobody coming and I was like yo, what's what's weird is this dude came in the building, but didn't come out and usually when they do that, they're just like fuck it and leave it in the in the mail room, which is they're not supposed to do that. Like people like have access to the mail room. Sometimes people are just animals. They're like, I don't give a fuck. Was this yours? Now it's mine. I'm like that's fucked up. Don't do that. Fuck. And so this this guy he like he's the bus cause he actually waited but like that's the only reason I'm getting this episode. Either way, I poured everything onto the couch because I was like, where's the ice cream in the last bag? Of course, but then I'm looking at this hall because now it's just on the couch and I'm like, yard, dude Somebody's about to make an album. I'm like Like this is all producer foods. Like, I was thinking ahead because I was thinking ahead. I was like, bro. I didn't like I ordered all this shit that like I like, but like I don't like two different varieties of hummus. Who the fuck are you? I got to do this. I gotta I gotta do this before this fits. fits little see that's in the next episode. We never talked about what's in Mrs. Gallipsy' refrigerator. I don't know what's in Mrs. Gallipsey's refrigerator to be a fucking quite honest. I'll give I'll give you some insight about that in the next episode, we barely talked about subronics, so I'm like, yeah, Ecuadoran bananas were covered though. We my coverage on Ecuadorian bananas. Prime. Anyway, like, what's what's next? I' two different kinds of milks. We got the milks. Oh god damn, bro, like I'm about to be fat, but like, honestly, just with the just with the final track alone and like the fluffer, which is the single from the album, there may be another single, but I don't think so because it's such a concept album, it would be hard to like explain why there are multiple singles for this. So the single of the fluffer, one of my favorite songs that have made a long time I like improbably I should follow that fucking well, if I followed that formula, I wouldn't have time to do anything because I walked like I easily walked like 78 miles that day on accident and then I came back in a crafted the song and well, it took I think it took me a couple of days to get the right ad and then I take a couple of days. But it's actual it's like dubstep. It's dubstep on the brink of like classic dubstep to like where dubstep is now, which is like explained before, like the the let's have the intersection of like dubstep and broep, which is like weird wonky video gamey type dubstep. um I think, what's that song? Is it Dr. P? Like Dr. P is a good, like, you know, reference for any of the kind of stuff that I'm talking about or like, uh, what else is like in that era? Who did snakes and letters? I mean the snakes and letters, the centipede a centiped u, guess, oldub stuff. It's like on the brink it's in the style of on the brink of those that era of dub step if you're you know, you're not into doep, don't listen to it. It's not that like I don't know, but it's one of my favorite songs that I man a long time. It's actually it reminds me of like like I was feeling like hard gon white night vibes listening back to it, but I wasn't necessarily thinking about gonite night in my like crafting of the song. It just kind of sounded like that because of the like type of bass that I used and like the nature sounds that I incorporated into it. I love nature sounds and cinematic music. So like anything it's it's very ga white nighty. I really like that song. I did submit that to a contest even though that I knew it was coming out and it would disqualify the song, but I was like, yo, I just want somebody to hear this song. I just want somebody to hear this song and I think the the um the judge of the contest does uh I'm not going to do any name drops because like I still really want a job. I'm still I'm still in the process of trying to get one. But um uh the the judge of the contest is from that era of dump step where like understands that era of dubstep that it's like, okay, if the judge of this contest is this guy, he'd like and he might have a chance of hearing this song, like, I'm just gonna submit this song and the mix I knew would like that they would they wouldn't pick it because it was like it wasn't my best. It wasn't my best work and I just wanted it to be like, okay, here, like here, like know that I'm trying. know that I'm trying, okay. and here's the song also, somebody should listen to it. So it's it's an old school do stuff in the style of like old school. Not old school, old school, like Banga and scream and Rosco. all those people are about to be in New York and I I just can't bring myself to get tickets, but like word up to those, like the word up to the gods of like the original d dumb stuff. Well, and also they they're drawing from like, okay, we can talk about this forever, but we gotta wrap it up, okay? Like they're drawing from like old older stuff. It goes back like, honestly, upep can be traced back to like the 60th, the late 60s and 70s. Honestly, in Jamaica, like there's Jamaica dub dub, like but there's dub step is like originated in the UK. In the UK base and warehouse culture, that was like a result of like the the what happened to dance music in the early 2000s with the kind of uh what the record companies seeing electronic music is like a you know, uh profitable. Whereas before, it was just kind of like the culture, then all of a sudden they were like, oh, like this is the way, this is the way that like it now popped music is like EDM. Everything is almost everything is EDM, but I still like rock. Anyway, the fluffer. It's out now. We'll talk more about it because I could talk about that song forever. The song makes me laugh every time. Makes me laugh every time, because I was being a little bit naughty, when I made it and it's just kind of a naughty song in general as fighting purple dragons on it. Like there's this one, like I I don't know, I'm a huge fan of like the rolling bass drop where instead of like, okay, here's like, you know, here's basically like a bridge and then drop, and then like another bridge and then a second drop, and then sometimes another bridge and a third drop. Instead, I'll be like here's the beginning of the song, and then I'm going to drop. I'm going to give you 3 to 5 drops without doing anything else. like it's just a like my drop will go into another drop. We'll go into another drop. I like doing things that way because it's funny. Like I'm not giving you a break. Listen to this. I'm not give you a break. Like, listen to this this literally it's technically one drop, but it's gonna be in the style of three to five drops. like this and then this, and then this and then this. So that's the fluffer. It did very much remind me of g Gody white and eye and it has fighting purple dragons on it, which is what the album art is talking about. So, next time on this show, oh, man, an hour and 15 minutes, that's cool. It's an hour and 15 minutes on the postal motherfucker. ha ha ha ha, the longer I stay on that bitch. I I don't know. My abdomen area is it's like some fucking statuesque. Like now I'm not mad at myself for like all the work I put in, because when I walk by like like Greek style statues and like Roman style, like architecture, like antiquity, artwork, like their bodies, like their cut, like mine. I'm like this is I'm an Adonis. that's sick. Like you can't see it because it's like hidden by all of my human, but like yo, dude, I promise I promise. That's what I look like. It's dope. Anyway, statuesque. I'm an adon this. All right, let's go. McDonald's McDonald's. No, no McDonald's. I don't know why. well, because Adonis and McDonald's are phonetically like any who thank you for listening. I am Www.Imu. guru, uh the YouTube is at the Festival projects. YouTubeube.com slash at the festival project. What else do we got? We got Twitter. We got Twitter, we got X. No, if we got Twitter, just because we were in the dance music, we're talking about dance music. I don't want people to get the wrong idea. I'm not the DJ, man. I swear to God, I'm not. I swear to God, I'm not. Okay, we got we got discord. I don't know what the fuck that's for. We got twitch. I I'll figure it out at some point and put some shit on Twitch. It's there, though. I recently just started a video account. Don't know why. I'm still I'm steady trying to get on this Japanese website called goo. which I think in English is just go. I don't know. We're on all the fucking places to do all the fucking things. You could catch me somewhere. I'm sure of it, and that is how we're gonna do it. Everything is free because love should be free, but it's I mean like I'm free the love free the music, you know, art, peace, culture, like art, free the art, and like art should not necessarily be free, like I wanna make a living. But, you know, I don't know, maybe in the future there's gonna be like an artist fund for people who actually like contribute to the artist community, like you just get like a basic income. Like, I think that's I think that's where we should do is have a basic income for anybody that actually contributes to the art community, you know, like a living, like basic income, like, okay, everything's taken care of, like, you don't have to worry about like are you gonna run out of anything? Like you're good, just c as long as you contribute to the art community. That's it, you know? But whatever, until that happens, everything is free because love is free and I'm going anti corporate greed, anti-orporate greed. So like all my stuff is free if you DJ feel free to play my tracks, the ones that are playable. Some it is just some of it's just I mean like I'm not gonna call it all hot garbage, but like sometimes I make a drop just cause I feel like making myself laugh. I'm not gonna laugh. Like, I know this is sonic trash. But like it's sonic trash. That's good. I know this is torture, but if like I'm going to hear it later and laugh and I need a good laugh. So yeah, a lot of my music is comedy. With that, uh, being said, thank you for listening. I'll see you next time. moron the stuff I talked. Mrs. Gallipsey's refrigerator. I don't know what's in it. We'll see uh on the next episode of whatever this show is called. Have a great day. Goodbye. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.™

  • Apr 17, 2025 · 35 min

    Insomniac Mix 01 | Forbidden Kingdom

    First actual mix in a long time, hope you guys enjoy. This is my first mix with 99.9% Original -Ū. music only with the exception of the intro for dramatic effect. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for listening. Here's a screenplay of enter the multiverse to coincide with the commemoration of the SNL 50's anniversary/ L E G E N D S crossover. Fun Fact: The First appearence of Liz Lemon in this show {Enter The Multiverse} is in season one, which first aired in May of 2021. The 1st and subsequent seasons will soon be avalible for reading and listening on my website https://www.iamu.guru. Enjoy this mix and the avaliable downloads you'll find there and stay tuned for upcoming stuff. Just a reminder, all of my content is totally free for download. If you enjoy this series, drop a like and subscribe and follow on your favorite streaming platforms and all of my channels. Thanks for your continued support and listens/reads. Happy Passover; blessings and peace to you. -blu. INT. ALIEN SPACESHIP - DAY The cramped, metallic interior of an alien spacecraft. Two bizarre, multi-limbed ALIENS are locked in a furious argument. The sounds are not words, but a cacophony of distorted electronic noises. ALIEN 1 (A series of rapid, high-pitched BLIPS and WHIRS) ALIEN 2 (A deep, guttural GROWL followed by a drawn-out, wavering TONE) ALIEN 1 BLIM-BLIM-BLIM-BLIM— FLAU—FLAU—FLAU! ALIEN 2 —————EeeeeEeeeeeEEEEEEEEENNMMMMMMMMMNGGGGGGGGG!!! ALIEN 1 Wfuh! Alien 2 makes a highly offensive hand gesture. Alien 1 responds with a highly offensive gesture using another body part. Suddenly, RACHEL DRATCH, dressed impeccably and radiating an air of cool detachment, enters the scene and calmly observes the arguing aliens. RACHEL DRATCH (To herself, almost a whisper) Well, this is… something. CUT TO: INT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA - SUNNI BLU'S OFFICE - DAY SUNNI BLU, sharp and impeccably dressed, stares with wide eyes at a ridiculously large ELECTRICITY BILL. Sunlight streams through the massive windows overlooking Rockefeller Plaza. SUNNI BLU (Muttering) Since when did keeping the lights on cost this much? Absorbing ConEd was supposed to *save* money. Suddenly, a disembodied VOICE echoes in the room. VOICE (V.O.) You will fail this test. SUNNI BLU (Startled) There's a test?! What test?! VOICE (V.O.) It came with a lesson— you didn't think there was going to be a test. CUT TO: EXT. THE LONELY ISLAND CLIFF - DAY ANDY (ALEKSI), dressed in surprisingly clean white robes despite the precarious location, stands on the edge of a towering cliff overlooking a vast ocean. He takes a running leap off the edge. ANDY —NO… He plummets downwards for a beat. Then, with a gentle WHOOSH, he lands perfectly upright on the sandy beach below. ANDY (CONT'D) I told you I could stick the landing. ALEKSI (V.O.) It wasn't always The Lonely Island… CUT TO: INT. HEAVENLY WAITING ROOM - DAY ALEKSI (ANDY SANDBERG), now with subtle, mischievous angelic wings, winks directly at the camera. ALEKSI guardian angel. TINA (O.S.) Whatever. Tina FEY, also with small, slightly more exasperated-looking wings, enters. ALEKSI winks extra harder at her. ALEKSI Hello. TINA Oh my God! ALEKSI I wish! At this point, I wish— unfortunately, those aren't the types of wishes I'm in charge of overseeing. A large, ornate PACKAGE appears unexpectedly at TINA's feet. TINA (CONT'D) When something appears unexpectedly at your doorstep, it's called a windfall, right? ALEKSI Yeah. I think that's what this is. TINA And when it's something you really need, it's a gift from God. Isn't it? ALEKSI Something like that. TINA Honestly, I thought it was just a gentler way of letting me know I was ugly— after a particularly horrible photo opportunity at the airport. ALEKSI —wow. TINA I had just been up for 72 plus hours straight and only slept something like 4 or 5–but of course— FLASHBACK: INT. AIRPORT SECURITY - EARLY MORNING A haggard and disheveled TINA sits slumped on a lopsided BEANBAG in the middle of the bustling security line. Bright lights shine in her face as various machines WHIR and BEEP, scanning her. TINA (V.O.) This was staggered sleep from atop a lopsided beanbag. TINA (Muttering) Agh, God! TINA (V.O.) I've been getting used to having lights shined in my face for awhile now. Still, I was not so ready for a full work up of my biometrics in this early morning crusade to Los Angeles. A stern-faced AGENT approaches her. AGENT The Agency thought you were terminally ill. TINA Terminally? Geez. The AGENT clears his throat. AGENT Consider this as, ah— Hm. Ojo translates directly to Eye. Doesn't it? TINA I see you. AGENT Undoubtedly. —an incentives. TINA I don't need anymore incentives, Captain. I need income. AGENT Oh, I'm the captain now? TINA You were always the captain. AGENT This is news to me. TINA News to the News. That's something new. AGENT Nothing is new. TINA But it's news to you. Sarcasm. I need a paycheck. AGENT Try looking pretty. TINA I tried. It didn't work. AGENT Try…harder. TINA (V.O.) New York had put spots and marks on my faces— a broken blood vessel from fighting some demonized African girl— and I'm sure that was what she was, after all… FLASHBACK: INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT TINA is struggling in a bizarre fight with a shadowy FIGURE. The scene has a surreal, “As Seen On TV” commercial feel. VOICEOVER (V.O.) Who tries to kill you, and then does their hair to be more like yours? That's major weird. TINA Major Tom. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah. TINA (V.O.) Then again, since moving to New York… Oh, Holy shit. Everything is major weird. A shimmering PORTAL opens in the middle of the apartment. TITLE CARD: AS SEEN ON TV: PART III TINA (Staring at the portal) Where the fuck is part one and two?! SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it starts at three! TINA Nothing “starts at three” SHADOWY FIGURE Maybe it's like Star Wars! TINA It's not like Star Wars! A CATACLYSMIC SPACESHIP COLLISION and EXPLOSION sound effect. TINA (CONT'D) …it's not like Star Wars. SHADOWY FIGURE Uh huh. It's better than star wars. A giant collective GASP is heard. TINA -_- *the world stops* TINA (CONT'D) -_- Suddenly, all sound ceases. TINA (CONT'D) Woah. That's different. SHADOWY FIGURE There: I fixed overpopulation. TINA But— SHADOWY FIGURE But what? I fixed it. TINA But— weren't some of those fans, also fans of this show. SHADOWY FIGURE Yeah, so? TINA Like an overwhelming majority. SHADOWY FIGURE Majority? Yeah— they're— These are nerds. TINA Fuck. Right. So where did you send them?! SHADOWY FIGURE Uh. Only to heaven. TINA What does that mean. SHADOWY FIGURE Heaven for any Star Wars fan— TINA Where is that. SHADOWY FIGURE The world where all of that stuff— is real. TINA What—what do you mean by that. SHADOWY FIGURE I sent them to Star World. TINA That sounds so fucking gay. SHADOWY FIGURE Cause it is. TINA Fuck. Oh, that's right— Non-star wars fans are sometimes Cynics Read: Major fucking assholes. I guess I fall into that category, eh— a little bit? SHADOWY FIGURE No duh. TINA “No duh.” What part of the nineties was your heyday? SHADOWY FIGURE All of them. TINA Jesus, Tina. You might be ancient. SHADOWY FIGURE I'm dust. TINA Hey— What. Why are you my assistant now. SHADOWY FIGURE Assistant? No. I'm your executive producer. TINA ExeCUTEive producer— you do put the cute in that. SHADOWY FIGURE (Not being cute, unamused, but still very cute) Ugh. Fine. SUDAKIS. JASON SUDAKIS appears CONT'D. And nobody cares, of course Because she is formerly gorgeous (Not no more) I'm standing on four paws I'm studying your laws If this was your office I'm your boss And I caught you taking your clothes off You're boring, I started to doze off Don't call me no more, hoe So now your broke You started a war slamming doors Because you can't find no more work Hoe Karen and Becky are probably blessings Cause they do not get me But I'm doing better and yet They are starting to sweat cause I'm starting to flex They're slamming the door They're starting a war They never been homeless before Or hungry and poor But no peace of mind? It's fine I'll probably find in time That they crossed the line And get left behind The red dots are trying To plot I'm crying a lot, I'm out of the box, jack I spring up but I do not pop I'm talking to God, He's telling you off, I'm calling him “her”, She's telling me “Sure, I'm not really sure, But I got the cure for your disease The God of Mercy, Mercy Me I got my first Mercedes in 1993 Look at me. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT A very tall, redheaded SHOWMAN (CONAN O'BRIEN, though slightly off) has just finished a days-long BENDER. He is not the polished figure America knows. He shakily lines up a mysterious white substance on a grimy surface. CONAN (Muttering) Just… need… a little… pick-me-up. A mysterious FIGURE appears silently behind him. FIGURE Feeling better, Conan? Conan looks up, bleary-eyed, barely lifting his head. CONAN (Slurring) I don't know what you're saying. CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, that was the line, and I felt like I was crossing into a strange territory with this, one Conan O'Brien, and almost absolutely certain I was spelling his name wrong, but continued to do so anyway— one, because I refused to look him up, and two— because if ever I entered into a plot hole deep enough the mechanics of my own knowledge of hyper and multidimensional space travels to explain, then having a Conan O'Brien and a Conan O'Brian might become useful. Today, I want useful, because I wanted to go back to sleep with enough energy to still wake up with enough energy to run a mile on the full sized treadmill downstairs. Then, I had day-people things to do— and for whatever reason, this seemed like one of them. It was a welcome deviation from— A boisterous, red-faced MAN stumbles into the room. MAN O'Fallon, you old coot! CONAN (Confused) Oh year. MAN I told you the Irish were coming. *the fighting Irish. CONAN Ah yes, the fighting Irish— CONAN (V.O.) Apparently, this was some centuries long kind of battle between ancient clans//and so, I did my very best o find my way out of it, until A fierce, heavily tattooed WOMAN bursts in. WOMAN MUNROE!!!!! (V.O.) —i was found out. My surname was Scottish, but nonetheless, it was a fied older than borders were, anyway. CUT TO: EXT. MUSIC FESTIVAL - DAY A chaotic, vibrant music festival. ANDY (ALEKSI) approaches a gruff-looking SECURITY GUARD. ANDY Yo. SECURITY GUARD What's good. ANDY What's your deal with the KKK, anyway? SECURITY GUARD (Scoffs) I like them. They're funny. ANDY They— want to kill you. SECURITY GUARD That doesn't make them any less funny. In fact, now they might be more funny. ANDY Are you serious? SECURITY GUARD No, I'm funny. I like them blonde, Tall, dark skinned, Woah, scratch that. Narrow down my picks I like them Icelandic And Slavic Oh dear I like them impossible to topple over, No, God— Nevermind; I like them whiter than light snow on a cold night There you go I like them strong— But only in thought forms Keyboard warrior, But I'd like to get her in a choke hold So she'll stop snoring Oh God No Lord— I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song I should win an award for this song MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.) ANOTHER nomination. ANDY No way. This is crazy. ANDY spots SUNNI BLU in the crowd, looking stressed. ANDY (CONT'D) SUNNI, Do you have the academy on your payroll? SUNNI BLU (Shouting over the music) Ask the accountant? A stereotypical SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT, complete with a large yarmulke and clutching a ledger, scurries past. SUPER JEW ACCOUNTANT actually, surprisingly, I think you're on theirs! See! SUNNI BLU Seriously?!! That's not anti semitic at all. (It's not, it's pro-semitic) More Jews and Rosecurucians More Jews and Rosicrucians! I took a bite out of you, And now I want my life back! Sharks. (And surfboards) More news and prosecutions More blues and resurrections More impossible erections Interject— —I should probably call a doctor. It's been way more than four hours. I have way more than four houses— I've way more than four flowers, I've way more than four dollars— I've way more than four collars with sparkles on them. I wear cargo pants for the ride home though. No homo. CUT TO: INT. HEADQUARTERS INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY CC (NATALIE PORTMAN, though not explicitly stated) enters the stark interrogation room. A MAN sits at a metal table, wrists chained. CC sits down opposite him, calm and composed. MAN I… am a trained assassin. CC That's— impressive. MAN There are people who want to murder you. CC Now I'm impressed with myself. MAN Is that so. CC Yes! Ah. Delighted, actually. MAN Who are you? CC “A charismatic number” writes the New York Times review of my most recently cherished endeavor. Which means for once in your life you might have actually been on time. Or just late enough, or just early enough, or— you know. It starts where I get there, or they were just waiting for me anyway. You know. Or you don't. MAN I don't. CC Then you should have plenty of time for self study between now and your execution. MAN Hah! My execution?! That's where this is heading. CC What about yours? MAN What about it? CC Have or haven't you been following along that this is what I've ultimately desired. My suffering ends in peace with knowing that you, too, shall cease to exist. INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY Other DETECTIVES watch the interrogation through a one-way mirror, their faces grim. DETECTIVE 1 What could possibly be going on in there? DETECTIVE 2 Anything. DETECTIVE 3 I wonder what she's saying. DETECTIVE 1 Anything. DETECTIVE 2 Looks like she has him cornered. DETECTIVE 3 Maybe. DETECTIVE 1 Jesus, can you speak in anything more than one word sentences. DETECTIVE 2 No. BACK IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM, a heavy silence hangs in the air. MAN …Natalie? CC You wanted “CC” so I'm “CC” The MAN strains against his restraints. MAN Who who's this?! CC (V.O.) Suddenly my love affair with words and art and theatrical thoroughfare was coming to an end. This was something of a disaster set against the backdrop of a really real world— a world that seemed not to want me in it. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - DAY LIZ LEMON (TINA FEY) walks down a crowded street, furiously dialing her cellphone. LIZ LEMON (Into phone, angry) Hello? CUT TO: EXT. MARDI GRAS PARADE - NEW ORLEANS - DAY TRACY JORDAN (also TINA FEY, in elaborate Mardi Gras attire) is on a vibrant parade float, throwing beads to the cheering crowd. His phone rings. TRACY JORDAN (Into phone, jovial) WHERE ARE YOU?! I'm on my way to the parade! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I'm AT the parade! Where are YOU? TRACY JORDAN Not that parade! Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) MARDI GRAS?! TRACY JORDAN Yeah! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) WHY?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A FLOAT— In NEW YORK CITY— In 22 MINUTES. TRACY JORDAN Don't worry, I'll be there. LIZ LEMON (O.S.) YOU'LL BE THERE?! You're at a parade! In New Orleans! TRACY JORDAN It's Mardi Gras! LIZ LEMON (O.S.) I KNOW ITS— Tracy hangs up. He grins at the crowd and throws more beads. FADE OUT. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2025 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

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