transcript
show notes
WELCOME TO A U D A C I T Y: THE LOST CAUSE INTERACTIVE DRINKING GAME ("IT'S LEGIT" EDITION)
Congratulations on opening the box. Look, we have to talk about what just happened here, because by acquiring this set, you have chosen to participate in an activity specifically engineered by a woman whose linguistic wiring is an absolute lost cause.
She had one job…and…
She quit.
[Please drink responsibly.]
OBJECT OF THE GAME
The primary objective of A U D A C I T Y is to witness a human being on stage rely entirely on a single mid-aughts colloquialism to carry an hour of narrative comedy while in an extreme caloric deficit while in rapid approach to the Emmy Awards Show– while you, the player and listener desperately attempt to maintain consciousness on your living room sofa (or, wherever)
[Please drink responsibly.]
The secondary objective is to not have an ambulance pull up to your apartment before the third quarter.
Which part of this entirely improved stand-up-comedy special is the “third quarter you ask?”
I legitimately don’t know. (In theory, this is where you would take a shot.)
[Please drink responsibly.]
Actually, you know what? Don’t play this game.
Just don’t.
…Don’t.
-Lost Cause.
COMPONENTS & SETUP
One (1) audio recording of this stand-up specially originally recorded in Manhattan, New York on September 14, 2026 [Included]
Ears [Not Included]
One (1) to four (Infinity) players of lawful, statutory drinking age in their given terrestrial jurisdiction.
One (1) sealed bottle of distilled spirits that you should immediately put back in the cupboard because you have work tomorrow. And even If you don’t. Don’t play this game.
One (1) large vessel of filtered water, which is what network standards and practices actually wants you to use.
[Please drink responsibly.]
(Actually, you know what? Don’t.)
BASIC GAMEPLAY & RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Whenever the performer utters the root term "legit"
“L E G I T –”
–or any of its grammatical variations or derivatives—i.e. “legitimate” players must immediately execute one of the following mandated actions:
SHOTS!!!
(DO NOT DO THIS):
Take one full shot of distilled liquor. Now, mathematically, do you know what happens if you do this? You don't make it to the punchlines. You are face-down on your area rug twenty-two minutes in, completely blacked out, sleeping straight through the actual ending and entirely missing the weird, unhinged bonus material waiting in the ether after the final credits roll.
Please drink responsibly.
SIPS.
just take a modest sip of beer or wine every time she says any variation on the word “legit" Spoiler alert: a modest sip each time the word is uttered is either a really good or a really bad night–and in the moderately very least–a very interesting night.
[Please drink responsibly.]
LIMITS + BOUNDARIES: If you stubbornly insist on the hard liquor route, the house rules strictly dictate a hard stop at ten shots.
Actually, you know what? Ten shots is an insane amount of alcohol.
What is wrong with you?
What’s wrong with ME?
Cap it at 5 shots….
Or, you know what? zero shots.
Because ten shots turns a comedy show into an actual comedy (which is derived in tragedy! Oh NO!)
[PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY.]
[OR JUST–DON’T.]
💀
EXPANSION PACKS & HOUSE VARIANTS
Wellness Edition: Discard the alcohol entirely.
Instead, Every time the performer utters "legit," take a swallow of ice-cold electrolyte water or an overpriced organic green juice.
(Or just…buy green things and blend them together until it turns into a saucy grass-like beverage. Yum.)
Your skin will radiate, your vital organs will thrive–
YOU WILL FLOAT ON AETHER.
STONERS…’HUH?’ EDITION.
If permitted by regional statute and personal conscience, take a pull from the bong upon every invocation of the word.
You will…
Wait, what was I saying?
OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER, WAIVER OF TORT, AND ABSOLUTION OF LIABILITY
Be it formally entered into the permanent record: the manufacturer, writer, broadcaster, and self-admitted lost cause behind this performance expressly declare that this entire game, its rulebook, and its interactive mechanisms are presented strictly as an extended piece of satirical performance art. The artist and network disclaim any and all proximate cause, duty of care, or civil liability for bodily trauma, spontaneous nausea, spiritual disorientation, or ruined friendships resulting from anyone actually consuming substances to this specific vocal cadence.
You [the reader and listener] assume total personal risk for your own decisions.
Haha.
Furthermore, let the record show she knows she has a vocabulary and caloric deficit, and the entire suggestion of this game is, in and of itself.
….completely a bit.
Thanks a lot, Seth Meyers.
You ruined my life.
Everybody thank Seth Meyers for ruining your life!
What?
DO IT.
-LOST CAUSE.
[please drink responsibly.]
[Enter The Multiverse}
L E G E N D S
[The Festival Project ™ ]
The Complex Collective ©
