Kids & FamilyParentingEducationSelf-Improvement

Less Drama More Mama

Pam Howard

Less Drama More Mama is the podcast for moms who want to feel calm, in control, and confident about how to handle anything life throws their way. As a Master Certified Life Coach, LCSW, former School Counselor, and blogger, Pam Howard has been empowering parents for years.
In her podcast, she shares personal stories, case studies, and life coaching tools to help you go from feeling frazzled and disrespected to feeling calm and connected. Learn more at LessDramaMoreMama.com.

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#430
Yesterday · 13 min
What Going Back to School Taught Me About Kids and Parenting - 430
For the past few years, I've taught nervous system tools to moms from my quiet home office. This fall, I put them to the test when I spent three months back at the school where I used to work as a counselor. I didn't handle every moment perfectly, but I could feel how much more capacity I had to stay calm and respond thoughtfully than I did the last time I worked there, five years ago. In this week's podcast episode, I share what I noticed, what helped, and why the experience made me even more certain about working with moms to teach them nervous system tools. Your kids learn how to regulate partly by watching you do it. When you have tools to calm your own nervous system, you can model and teach the skills they need most. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: How learning nervous system tools helps you stay grounded when your kids are struggling What my students learned from watching me close my eyes in the middle of a lesson Why logic and reassurance usually don't get through to an upset child, and what to do first Why home, more than school, is where kids get the practice they need to build emotional and self-control skills FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 427 - Are You Making Self-Control Harder for Your Child? (Self-Control Series, Part 1) Episode 428 - How to Help Kids Think Before They Speak (Self-Control Series, Part 2) Episode 429 - How to Help Kids Keep Their Hands to Themselves (Self-Control Series, Part 3) Join the Damn Good Mama wait list HERE. Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram.
#429
October 27 · 19 min
How to Help Kids Keep Their Hands to Themselves (Self-Control Series, Part 3) - 429
"Keep your hands to yourself." You've probably said it more times than you can count, and your child can likely repeat the rule right back to you. So why do they still push, grab, and hit? Knowing the expectation and following it in the moment are two very different skills. This is the final episode in my three-part series on self-control. I'm talking about physical self-control, which includes helping kids keep their hands off other people and their things, respect personal space, stay in control of their bodies when feelings get big, and understand consent. You'll hear how to practice these skills at home, what to do when your child is hitting or pushing, what this looks like with tweens and teens, and how your own history shapes the way you react when your kids get physical. This episode is packed with real stories and strategies you can start using this week. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why knowing the expectation isn't enough, and what helps your child choose a better option in the moment What the research says about hitting a pillow to "get the anger out" How everyday moments of consent at home prepare your child for dating and relationships later Why your child's physical behavior can bring up fear in you, and how to respond to what's happening FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 427 - Are You Making Self-Control Harder for Your Child? (Self-Control Series, Part 1) Episode 428 - How to Help Kids Think Before They Speak (Self-Control Series, Part 2) Read about the 2024 Ohio State review of 154 studies on anger HERE. Join the Damn Good Mama wait list HERE. Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#428
October 20 · 13 min
How to Help Kids Think Before They Speak (Self-Control Series, Part 2) - 428
You've told your child not to interrupt. You've explained why their comment was rude. You've reminded them to mind their own business. Then they interrupt again or make another comment that would have been better left unsaid, and you wonder how many reminders it'll take before something changes. In this week's podcast episode, I'm talking about what makes verbal self-control so difficult and how you can help your child develop it. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why reminders and corrections don't always lead to lasting change What can make interrupting, blurting, and unnecessary comments so hard for kids to stop How to help your child practice verbal self-control in everyday moments FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 427 - Are You Making Self-Control Harder for Your Child? (Self-Control Series, Part 1) I Can't Believe You Said That by Julia Cook Join the Damn Good Mama wait list HERE. Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#427
October 13 · 9 min
Are You Making Self-Control Harder for Your Child? (Self-Control Series, Part 1) - 427
Self-control is one of the hardest skills for kids to learn, and one of the most important. It's what helps them wait their turn, keep working when something feels hard, and handle frustration without falling apart or giving up. Today kicks off a three-part series on the podcast about helping kids develop self-control. In today's episode, I share how you can help your child build emotional self-control. In the coming weeks, I'll focus on verbal and physical self-control. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: How everyday parenting decisions can unintentionally make self-control harder to develop Why emotional self-control grows through practice and how to help your child build it A simple tool that helps kids practice self-control and recognize their progress FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Join the Damn Good Mama wait list HERE. Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#426
October 6 · 22 min
Making New Friends as a Mom - 426
Do you wish you had more friends, but find yourself hesitating to reach out? You might think you don't have the time or that making friends takes too much effort. You might assume other moms already have plenty of friends, are too busy, or wouldn't be interested. Those thoughts can make it harder to take the first step and get to know someone. This week, I'm replaying an older episode about making new friends where I talk about common thoughts that can get in the way and how to create more opportunities for connection. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: How your thinking can affect the way you approach new people The assumptions about yourself and others that may be keeping you from making friends Questions to help you think about the friendships you want and how to move toward them FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 043 - Overcoming Loneliness Episode 045 - Keeping Friendship Strong Episode 006 - Your Solution to Any Problem Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#425
September 29 · 9 min
When Worry About Your Child's Future Shapes Your Parenting - 425
Your child talks back, lies about something small, or ignores your directions. You wonder: If this is happening now, what will they be like five years from now? In this week's episode, I'm talking about why worry about your child's future can make their current behavior feel so urgent, how that worry shapes your reactions, and how to respond to what's actually happening. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why your mind can move so quickly from today's behavior to a frightening future How to recognize when urgency is shaping your response How to address behavior while leaving room for your child to grow FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#424
September 22 · 10 min
Calm Parenting Doesn't Mean Tolerating Bad Behavior - 424
Your child is yelling because you said no, talking to you disrespectfully, or following you around trying to change an answer you've already given. You're trying to stay calm, but part of you is thinking, How much of this am I supposed to put up with? "Expanding your window of tolerance" can sound like learning to become more patient with behavior you don't want to allow. So what are you actually learning to tolerate? Tune in to today's episode to find out. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: What expanding your window of tolerance actually asks you to tolerate How to hold a limit when your child is upset with it What to do with your anger instead of suppressing it or taking it out on your child Why timing matters when you address your child's behavior FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#423
September 15 · 14 min
Self-Reflection Questions for Moms - 423
"Why am I always so tired?" "Why are my kids so disrespectful?" "Why is parenting so hard?" These can sound like self-reflection questions, but the assumptions built into them can keep leading you back to the same answers. This week, I'm bringing back one of the earliest episodes of the podcast because its central idea still holds true: The questions you ask shape what you notice and the answers you find. In this episode, I explain how to recognize questions that leave you feeling defeated and replace them with questions that help you understand yourself, consider new possibilities, and decide what you want to do next. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why some questions that sound reflective can leave you feeling even more stuck How the assumptions inside a question influence the answers your mind looks for Five questions that can help you examine your thoughts and find your own answers FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Click here for your FREE 50 Powerful Questions download Do You 10Q? website Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#422
September 8 · 12 min
After-School Meltdowns: How to Help Your Kids Without Having One Too - 422
Your child's teacher says they had a great day, but once they get home, the smallest thing sends them over the edge. After-school meltdowns can make it seem as though your child saved their worst behavior for you, but there may be more contributing to the reaction. In this episode, I'm looking at the demands your child manages at school, the transition home, and what happens during the afternoon. I'm also sharing how to stay grounded when your child is overwhelmed, hold boundaries without arguing, and recognize when the pattern deserves more attention. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why kids can manage themselves at school and fall apart at home What may be adding pressure before and after they walk through the door How to keep your child's meltdown from becoming yours How to hold limits and address aggressive or destructive behavior FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 035 - Consequences with Love Get on the Damn Good Mama waitlist HERE. Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#421
September 1 · 9 min
When Kids Keep Asking to Go to the School Nurse - 421
The school nurse's number flashes on your phone again. Your child has a stomachache, a headache, or another symptom that feels serious enough to make them want to leave school. They've been medically checked, and everything appears to be normal. The nurse says they're okay. Your child insists they're not. Now you're caught between two concerns: What if you overlook something important? What if picking them up reinforces school avoidance by teaching them that leaving is the only way to feel better? There's another possibility besides "They're sick" or "They're trying to get out of class." Your child's body could be responding to something their mind hasn't recognized or put into words. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: What your child's body may be communicating when medical tests are normal How your own nervous system influences what happens after the nurse calls How to support your child without dismissing their symptoms or making it easier to avoid what feels hard FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#420
August 25 · 11 min
Homework Help (replay) - 420
When your child is struggling with homework, it's hard to know how much you should get involved. If you step in, are you helping or taking over? If you back off, are you teaching responsibility or letting your child fall behind? The answer isn't always obvious, especially when missing assignments and low grades start making you anxious. This week, I'm bringing back an older episode called "Homework Help." If homework and grades are already creating tension in your home, this episode will help you think differently about what may be going on and what your role should be. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why kids may struggle with homework, even when they're capable of doing it How your own emotions can complicate the situation What you are and aren't responsible for when it comes to your child's work FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare Register for a free Damn Good Mama preview call HERE. Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#419
August 18 · 9 min
Take Back Your Parental Authority - 419
My daughter thanked me at dinner the other night for "not letting" her drop out of college. She's an adult, so I couldn't have stopped her if I'd tried.🤷🏻‍♀️ What I did instead is why she thanked me. Like me, you may be working hard to parent differently from the way you were raised. You don't want your kids to feel afraid, dismissed, or powerless. You want a close relationship built on trust. Somewhere along the way, being the one in charge can start to feel like the opposite of being close. You worry that every limit you hold could damage the relationship you're working so hard to build. How do you lead your kids without controlling them? How does that change as they grow? HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: The difference between parental authority and authoritarian parenting How your authority shifts as your kids grow, all the way into adulthood Where your influence comes from once you no longer have the final say FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 390 - Letting Them Walk Their Own Path The Collapse of Parenting by Leonard Sax Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about working with me HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#418
August 11 · 17 min
Adjusting to a New School Year (replay) - 418
Your child finds out they aren't in class with any of their friends. They say their teacher is too strict. They come home crying and tell you they have no one to sit with at lunch. Your mind immediately jumps to: "This shouldn't be happening." "They're going to be miserable." "I need to do something." While some situations require you to step in, a difficult first day or week of school doesn't always mean something has gone wrong. A new school year is a transition, and kids need time to adjust to unfamiliar teachers, classmates, expectations, and routines. Today, I'm bringing back an earlier episode about how you can support your child through that adjustment without allowing your own worries to take over. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why it's natural to feel some level of anxiety at the start of the school year. How to understand the cause of your kids' behavior, so you can help support them through their school transition. How to stay calm and confident about the new school year. FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 026 – Taming Morning Madness Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about working with me HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#417
August 4 · 13 min
Helping Your Child Adjust to Being Home After Sleepaway Camp - 417
You've been looking forward to having your child home from sleepaway camp. Then they walk through the door exhausted, disappear into their room, complain that there's nothing to do, or get annoyed the first time you remind them to put something away. It's easy to wonder: Did they miss me? Are they happy to be home? Did camp change them in ways I don't like? The transition from camp to home is bigger than it may appear. Your child is returning from a completely different world, and they may need time to figure out how the person they became at camp fits back into family life. In this episode, I'm sharing three adjustments kids make after sleepaway camp and how you can give your child room to bring their growing confidence, competence, and independence home with them. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why a wonderful camp experience can still lead to irritability, withdrawal, or complaints when your child comes home How to handle the friction that can arise when newfound independence meets familiar family expectations The overlooked adjustment that can make returning to an old family role especially difficult What you can do if your child is already home and you're thinking, "I messed this up" FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 256 - Raising Independent Kids Experience Camps Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about working with me HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#416
July 28 · 9 min
Lessons from Grief Camp (replay)
I'm currently in Georgia for my eighth summer as a grief specialist at Experience Camps, a nonprofit that provides free, one-week camps for kids who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, or primary caregiver. While I'm there, I'm replaying Episode 158, "Lessons from Grief Camp," which first aired on August 17, 2021. Even if your family isn't dealing with grief, the lessons in this episode apply to every parent. They're about what makes kids more likely to talk about their difficult emotions with you and how you can create the conditions that help them open up. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: The secret to creating more trust and connection with your kids Why people find it difficult to open up about their feelings and what it costs them Simple ways to get more in touch with your emotions and how it helps you be a better mom FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Experience Camps website Episode 033 – Helping Kids Manage Their Emotions Episode 094 – Parenting with Vulnerability Episode 134 – Validating Emotions Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about working with me HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#415
July 21 · 12 min
When Your Child Is Moody: What Helps and What Doesn't - 415
Your child is in a bad mood. You offer suggestions, make a joke, or point out what's going well. Nothing seems to help, and before long, you're in a bad mood, too. It's easy to feel responsible for turning their mood around. But what if supporting them doesn't require changing how they feel? In this episode, I talk about why some kids seem moodier than others, why their moods can affect you so quickly, and how to support them without needing to cheer them up or taking their behavior personally, so their bad mood doesn't have to become yours. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: How temperament can influence what sets kids off, how they express their feelings, and how quickly they recover Why your child's mood can stir up uncomfortable feelings in you Ways to offer support without requiring your child to feel better FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 191: Understanding Temperament Episode 414: How to Release Anger Without Taking It Out on Your Kids Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about working with me HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#414
July 14 · 12 min
How to Release Anger Without Taking It Out on Your Kids - 414
Everyone gets angry. But not everyone recognizes it, lets themselves feel it, or knows what to do with it when it shows up. Sometimes anger is obvious. Other times, it looks more like irritation, resentment, anxiety, tension, or the need to control everything around you. You may not think of yourself as an angry person at all, but that doesn't mean the anger isn't there. In today's podcast episode, I'm talking about what happens when you suppress or repress anger, how it can affect your parenting, and what your body needs when anger shows up. You don't have to choose between giving yourself permission to feel angry and helping your child feel safe. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: The difference between suppressing and repressing anger The surprising ways anger can leak out Four ways to give anger a safer outlet than letting it spill into your parenting FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about working with me HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#413
July 7 · 10 min
When Your Child Reminds You of Yourself - 413
Have you ever looked at your child and thought, "Wow. You're so much like me"? At first, that recognition can feel sweet. You understand them in a way other people might not. But it can also create some blind spots. You may think you know what they're feeling, what they need, or why something matters so much to them, when part of what you're seeing is your own history. In this week's episode, I'm talking about three common traps of parenting a child who reminds you of yourself, and what helps you notice when the similarities are helping you understand them versus keeping you from seeing them clearly. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why the similarities between you and your child can create blind spots The quality that helps you see your child more clearly when they remind you of yourself The question that helps you separate your story from theirs FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 155 – Parental Projection Episode 191 – Understanding Temperament Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about Damn Good Mama HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#412
June 30 · 13 min
Why You Overreact as a Mom - 412
Have you ever reacted to your child and wondered afterward, "Why did that feel so big?" The thing they did was small. Your reaction was not. This week, I share the story of a mom in my program who had a huge reaction over a tray of sliders. She came to coaching convinced she knew exactly why she'd reacted. She was only partly right. Minutes into our session, we weren't talking about sandwiches anymore. We weren't even talking about her son. We were talking about a pattern that began decades earlier. In this episode, I'll show you how we got there and why it matters if you've ever had an overreaction you couldn't explain. If your reactions have ever left you feeling confused or ashamed, I hope this episode helps you understand yourself with a little more compassion. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why the size of your reaction is information, not proof that something is wrong with you What it actually looks like to break a pattern, and why catching yourself mid-blowup counts as a win The first place to look when your reaction feels bigger than the situation calls for FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Book a call to talk about Damn Good Mama HERE. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts
#411
June 23 · 12 min
This One's for My Dad: A Father's Day Tribute - 411
For years on this podcast, when I've talked about my dad, it's been in the context of understanding myself, my patterns, and some of my struggles. Most of us carry complicated feelings about our parents. We can wish some things had been different and still be grateful for what they gave us. Both can be true. This week, in honor of Father's Day, I'm sharing the parts of my dad and our relationship that I haven't talked about enough, and that I'm especially grateful for. You'll also discover a hidden talent of mine you've never heard on the podcast before.🤔 HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why you can wish some things had been different and still be grateful for what your parents gave you How the things our parents model become woven into who we are, often in ways we don't notice until much later What it feels like when the roles between you and a parent begin to shift The unexpected phone call that changed the way I saw one part of my relationship with my dad FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE: Download my free Nervous System Reset Guide for Moms HERE. Apply for Damn Good Mama HERE. Next kickoff call is July 6. Buy and leave a review for the Less Drama More Mama book HERE. Subscribe to get email updates on Less Drama More Mama webinars, workshops, and special offers HERE. Follow Less Drama More Mama on Facebook and Instagram. Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts

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