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Learn to Thrive with ADHD Podcast

Mande John

Welcome to the Learn to Thrive with ADHD Podcast. This is the show for you if you’re an adult with ADHD or ADHD-like symptoms and you need help. Do you feel like your symptoms are holding you back from reaching your full potential? Are you frustrated, unmotivated and overwhelmed?

Many people aren’t aware that ADHD coaching is even an option. Perhaps you are newly diagnosed, or not diagnosed, but you check all the boxes and you’re finding it difficult to cope in certain areas of your life. Host, Mande John and ADHD coach, is here to help. Each week, you’ll get solutions and practical advice to navigate ADHD symptoms and live a productive life.

On the podcast, you’ll hear from coaches and clients who share real-world applications, tools, and resources that you can apply to your own life. We can be creatives, entrepreneurs, or multi-passionate people, and not know how to organize our ideas, or even how to take action on them. With Mande John as your guide in the area of ADHD coaching, she’ll show you how to transform your life when you apply the tools to help you be more focused, less overwhelmed, and be a person that commits and stays the course. Are you ready for a life-changing experience? Let’s go!

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#134
Friday · 28 min
Ep 134 - REBROADCAST How To Create a Great Week
This week's episode is a rebroadcast of a fan-favorite: How to Create a Great Week. Coach Mande revisits her go-to process for ADHD weekly planning — one that goes way beyond typical time management advice. Before diving back in, Mande shares what she now understands even more clearly: your great week isn't a contract you have to prove you can follow. It's a draft — your best guess based on what matters to you, your responsibilities, and the capacity you actually have right now. Inside the episode, you'll walk through the five steps to build your own great week: asking the important questions, identifying non-negotiable responsibilities, mapping weekly tasks, plugging it all into a week view, and creating space to evaluate and adjust. Mande also shares personal examples — from delegating dinner to timing her laundry — and the "don't miss twice" mindset that makes consistency sustainable. Grab the free workbook to follow along at learntothrivewithadhd.com/greatweek. Links: 🌐 Website: https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/ 💬 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ 💬 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ 🔗 LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/learntothrivewithadhd Send a voice message: https://www.speakpipe.com/learntothrivewithadhd Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#133
August 27 · 32 min
Ep 133 - REBROADCAST You Know What to Do, So Why Aren’t You Doing It?
You know exactly what to do. So why aren't you doing it? This gap between what you know and what you do is called the knowing-doing gap. And for those of us with ADHD, it's not just frustrating - it's painful. Because we're smart enough to see the gap. We're aware enough to know we're not bridging it. But here's what most people don't realize: The gap isn't about lack of knowledge. It's about your beliefs. In Episode 133 (rebroadcast), I break down the knowing-doing gap and the limiting beliefs that create it. What's Inside: ✓ What the knowing-doing gap is (and why ADHD people feel it so intensely) ✓ How your beliefs directly create the gap ✓ Hand-me-down beliefs (where they came from) ✓ Self-sabotage (why you protect beliefs that aren't true) ✓ The thoughts-feelings-actions chain (how it all connects) ✓ Fear in the gap (what you're really afraid of) ✓ The 3-question framework (that reveals everything) ✓ Reframing techniques (that actually work) ✓ Practical steps (to bridge your gap) Key Quote: "You are brilliant, creative, amazing people. You know what to do and I really believe that is what makes it painful to those of us with ADHD. Were we ignorant we wouldn't feel out of alignment with who we are." – Mande Perfect For: ✓ Anyone stuck between knowing and doing ✓ ADHD people frustrated with the gap ✓ Those who know what to do but don't do it ✓ Anyone ready to examine their beliefs ✓ People tired of trying harder Resources: 📚 "I Know What To Do, So Why Don't I Do It?" by Nick Hall, Ph.D. (available on Audible) 📄 Free Knowing-Doing Gap Workbook → learntothrivewithadhd.com/freeresources/ Links: 🌐 Website: https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/ 💬 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ 💬 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ 🔗 LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/learntothrivewithadhd Send a voice message: https://www.speakpipe.com/learntothrivewithadhd Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#132
August 20 · 33 min
Ep 132 - REBROADCAST ADHD Time Management: The System That Finally Worked for Me
🎯 REBROADCAST This important episode is back because it deserves another listen. "You cannot fit what's important to you into the cracks of time that you have." In this episode, Mande breaks down her personal time management system—the one that transformed her from someone who thought she couldn't manage time to someone who uses these tools daily to run multiple businesses, show up for family, and actually get things done. What's Inside: The Google Calendar + Acuity Scheduling foundation How to set up a "Now vs. Not Now" list Why offloading everything from your brain changes everything Trello for delegation and project tracking Time blocking without feeling restricted The routines that saved her life (and can save yours) Why mind management matters as much as time management Daily vs. weekly planning strategies The visual timer hack How to track planned vs. actual time Key Quote: "Routine is a vegetable—you don't want it, but you need it." Tools Mentioned: Google Calendar, Acuity Scheduling, Trello, Tul Planner, Time Timer, ChatGPT voice feature, voice notes, Post-its Perfect For: ✓ Anyone with ADHD who feels stuck managing their time ✓ People running their own business ✓ Those juggling multiple priorities ✓ Anyone who's tried systems and given up ✓ People looking to actually accomplish their goals Click here for show note Download Your Free Resource: Time Management Action Sheet → learntothrivewithadhd.com/timemanagement Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#131
August 13 · 19 min
Ep 131 - The Busy ADHD Brain: How Constant Input Is Stealing Your Focus
You're not short on information. You're buried in it. And if you're a professional or entrepreneur with ADHD, you probably take in information all day long- messages, email, podcasts, saved posts - and it's all useful. That's exactly what makes it hard to notice when it becomes too much. In this episode, Coach Mande John explores why constant input can leave an ADHD brain feeling unfocused, even when nothing is technically wrong with your ability to focus. She breaks down the stress stimulation loop, the difference between purposeful and avoidant input, and why removing the phone doesn't fix the problem if the underlying discomfort never gets addressed. Then she offers a small, sustainable "attention reset" you can start using today. ✅ Why busy and effective aren't the same thing ✅ The stress stimulation loop, and how it quietly overloads your brain ✅ Purposeful input vs. reactive input vs. avoidant input ✅ Why more research can become a way to delay a decision, not clarify it ✅ How to build a small attention reset instead of a full digital detox ✅ Why quiet, unfilled moments matter for creativity and clarity 🎧 Listen on your favorite podcast platform or watch on YouTube. 📬 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly 💼 Work with Mande: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#130
August 6 · 24 min
Ep 130 - High-Performing With ADHD: Why Success Still Feels So Hard
Can you handle a massive project with a million moving parts, but still can't answer one simple email for three weeks? You might already be a high performer — and this episode is for you. Coach Mande John speaks directly to ADHD adults who create impressive results, but only through pressure, urgency, and last-minute effort. From the outside, everything looks successful. On the inside, it can feel like barely holding it together. So this episode isn't about pushing harder. Instead, it's about building a version of high performance your brain can actually sustain. ✅ Why you might already be performing at a high level, even if it doesn't feel like it ✅ What happens when "Rising to Necessity" turns into needing a crisis for everything ✅ Why busy and effective aren't the same thing ✅ The three levels of clarity that make a goal actually actionable ✅ How to tell a clarity problem apart from avoidance or depletion ✅ Why strengths, not weaknesses, are where sustainable performance comes from ✅ The Three R's: Review, Revise, Recommit 🎧 Listen on your favorite podcast platform or watch on YouTube. 📬 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly 💼 Work with Mande: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#129
July 30 · 20 min
Ep 129 - ADHD Rebuilding Self-Trust with ADHD: How to Come Back After Setbacks
If a goal falls apart and your brain immediately says "see, I knew I couldn't trust myself" — this episode is about breaking that cycle. Coach Mande John explores one of the most painful, least-discussed parts of ADHD: what happens to your self-trust after years of starting, stopping, forgetting, and not following through the way you meant to. She makes the case that self-trust was never supposed to mean perfect consistency — and offers a more honest, more ADHD-compatible definition of what it actually takes to trust yourself again. ✅ Why self-trust ≠ never getting off track ✅ How past unfinished attempts quietly turn into a belief about your identity ✅ The difference between "I didn't follow through" and "I can't trust myself" ✅ A redefinition of consistency built for ADHD brains, not against them ✅ How to rebuild trust through small, specific, keepable commitments ✅ Why a repair plan matters more than a perfection plan Mande also shares details on her live workshop, From Stuck to Success: The ADHD Reset — built for anyone who feels like they lost momentum this year and is waiting for a "clean restart" instead of just resetting now. 🎧 Listen on your favorite podcast platform or watch on YouTube. 🎟️ Sign up for the workshop: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/adhdreset 📬 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly 💼 Work with Mande: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#128
July 23 · 34 min
Ep 128 - Success with ADHD: Why You're Not Failing, You're Just Using the Wrong System
Do you look at your unfinished projects, abandoned systems, and half-followed-through plans as proof that you're falling short of your potential? In this episode, Coach Mande John challenges that story. The problem usually isn't discipline, desire, or capability - it's that most success advice assumes a brain that doesn't work the way ADHD brains do. Decisions don't always stay top of mind. Motivation fades. A perfectly good plan on Monday can feel like it belongs to someone else by Thursday. Mande introduces the Three R's - Review, Revise, Recommit - a tool she uses with her coaching clients to build success in a way an ADHD brain can actually sustain. Instead of aiming for a system you never fall off of, the goal becomes noticing sooner and coming back faster, without turning every pause into a verdict on your character. ✅ Why "just make a plan and stick to it" doesn't hold up for ADHD brains ✅ The preparation trap — when learning and planning quietly become a way to avoid the risk of trying ✅ Why failure is data, not a verdict, and inaction is the real worst case ✅ How shorter feedback loops keep a goal from silently disappearing ✅ A redefinition of consistency: getting better at returning, not never drifting ✅ The Three R's: Review, Revise, Recommit 🎧 Listen on your favorite podcast platform or watch on YouTube. 📬 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly 💼 Work with Mande: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp Click here for show note. Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#127
July 16 · 31 min
Ep 127 - ADHD and the Someday Trap: Stop Waiting for the Perfect Time
We all have a "someday" list — the things we keep telling ourselves we'll get to once life calms down, once we're more confident, once we finally get our act together. But what if that perfect time never actually comes? In this episode, Coach Mande John explores the Someday Trap and why it's so convincing for ADHD brains. Someday feels safe. It doesn't ask anything of us today. But the longer we wait, the more life keeps moving without our participation — and waiting doesn't just delay the outcome, it delays everything we would have learned by trying. Mande walks through why ADHD adults are especially prone to this pattern (hint: it's not a discipline problem), the real costs of waiting, and how to tell the difference between a wise, intentional pause and an indefinite delay that just quietly floats. You'll walk away with a simple reframe: instead of waiting for the perfect time, find the next step. ✅ Why "someday" sounds reasonable but keeps everything important on hold ✅ The 4000 Weeks perspective and why it's clarifying, not overwhelming ✅ How waiting protects you from discomfort now — and adds regret later ✅ Why motivation was never meant to carry the whole thing ✅ How to shrink big, vague goals into one small, doable next step ✅ Permission to ask for support without earning it first 🎧 Listen on your favorite podcast platform or watch on YouTube. 📬 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly 💼 Work with Mande: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp Click here for show note. Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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July 9 · 32 min
Ep 126 - Feeling Good for ADHD: Executive Function Meets Mind Management
Today we're talking about Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns — the book that changed my life in my 20s, and one I've gifted over 100 times. It's not just for depression and anxiety; the concepts in it are now central to how I coach people with ADHD. ADHD doesn't just affect what we do — it affects how we feel about what we do, and the stories we tell ourselves when we forget something, procrastinate, or fall off a routine. In this episode, I walk through the most common thought distortions I see in ADHD brains, and a simple technique for catching and reframing them before they turn into shame. ✅ Why the thought matters as much as the task ✅ The 7 cognitive distortions that show up most with ADHD ✅ The Triple Column Technique for reframing a negative thought ✅ Why action — even small action — changes your mood ✅ How to build habits that survive your worst days, not just your best ones 🎁 Grab the free ADHD Thought Reset Guide: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/reset #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp Click here for show note. Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#125
July 2 · 15 min
Ep 125 - Executive Function Series #10 Goal Sustainability Finish What You Start
Starting goals isn't the problem for ADHD brains — sustaining them is. The excitement fades, life gets busy, and suddenly we're asking ourselves why we can never stay consistent. Sound familiar? In this episode of the executive function series, Coach Mande John breaks down the real reason goals fade for ADHD adults — and how to build systems that actually last. This isn't about becoming more disciplined. It's about building a different approach that works with your brain instead of against it. In this episode you'll learn: Why inconsistency is a neurological pattern, not a character flaw How the motivation cycle works for ADHD brains — and why it always runs out Why goals built on shame and pressure rarely last How to make goals smaller, more flexible, and easier to start The role of external systems, accountability, and body doubling in sustainability How to restart after setbacks without shame or spiraling Why celebrating small wins matters more than you think Sustainable growth with ADHD is possible — it just looks different than we were taught. And that's okay. 🔗 Join the weekly email list: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp #adhdpodcast #adhdgoals #adhdproductivity #executivefunction #adhdentrepreneur Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#124
June 25 · 8 min
Ep 124 - 6 Things to Stop Saying Today to Feel Better With ADHD
There are six words and phrases that ADHDers use every single day — and they're quietly making your ADHD worse. Not because they're bad words, but because every time you say them, you're reinforcing shame, overwhelm, and limitation without even realizing it. In this episode, Coach Mande John shares the exact words she's worked hard to remove from her own vocabulary and what she's replaced them with instead. These small language shifts create less pressure, more possibility, and a lot more self-compassion. In this episode you'll learn: Why "should" keeps you focused on who you're not instead of what's possible How replacing "have to" with "get to" instantly reframes any task The reason Mande stopped using the word "busy" years ago The one tiny word that turns "I can't" into an open door What to say instead of "I don't know" to keep your brain curious How to stop turning temporary feelings into permanent identity labels 🎁 Grab the free ADHD Language Reset Guide at learntothrivewithadhd.com/6words ADHD is challenging enough. We don't need our language making it harder. #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp #adhdpodcast #adhdtips #adhdmindset #adhdwomen #adhdlife Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#123
June 4 · 21 min
Ep 123 - ADHD Negative Thought Loops and How To Question Them
Does your brain have a story it loves to prove? "I'm behind." "I never finish anything." "I can't stay consistent." "I'm not disciplined." For ADHD brains, these thoughts don't just show up - they collect evidence. Your brain scans for proof, finds it fast, and builds a case so convincing that the story starts to feel like fact. In this solo episode, Coach Mande John breaks down ADHD negative thought loops - how they form, why they feel so true, and how to start questioning the stories that are keeping you stuck. Here's what we explore: Why your brain wants to be right - and how that backfires The thought-feeling-action loop that keeps proving painful stories How Mande believed she was "an anxious person" for years - and what shifted The most common stories ADHD brains believe (I'm behind, I never finish, I can't be consistent) Why absolute words like "always," "never," and "can't" are making it worse The "What else could be true?" question that gently interrupts the loop The power of the word "yet" - and how one small word changes the whole sentence How to give your brain a better assignment to look for Free infographic with everything from this episode: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/thoughtloops Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp #adhdmindset #adhdthoughts Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#122
May 28 · 19 min
Ep 122 - ADHD, Hyperfocus, Procrastination and the Work That Actually Matters
Have you ever been incredibly busy - cleaning, answering emails, reorganizing your to-do list - and still somehow avoided the one thing that mattered most? That's not laziness. That's procrastination wearing a productivity costume. In this episode, Coach Mande John breaks down Paul Graham's essay "Good and Bad Procrastination" and applies it directly to the ADHD brain - helping you understand why you avoid big work, how to recognize when you're stuck in busy-but-not-moving mode, and how to redirect your focus toward what actually moves the needle. Here's what we explore: The three types of procrastination - and why one of them is actually a good thing Why to-do lists can become a source of overwhelm and avoidance The "buckets" method for organizing your attention by season How to define "enough" so you're not endlessly pouring energy into tasks that don't matter The emotional weight behind big work - and why cleaning the bathroom always wins How to have a healthier relationship with hyperfocus (without letting it derail your life) The Hamming question: "What is the most important thing you could be working on - and why aren't you?" Delegation, simplification, and letting go of what only needs to be done good enough This episode comes with a free PDF of all the reflection questions. Grab it at: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/biggerwork Subscribe to the weekly newsletter at www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly #adhdcoach #adhdcoaching #adultadhd #adultadd #adhdhelp #adhdprocrastination #adhdproductivity Click here for show note Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#121
May 21 · 28 min
Ep 121 - ADHD Emotional Regulation: From Spiral to Self-Compassion
Are your feelings so raw lately that even small things feel like the weight of the world? Do you spiral from "this is hard" to "I can't handle my life" in about three seconds? What if the problem isn't that you have too many feelings - it's that you don't know what to do with them once they show up? In this episode of Learn to Thrive with ADHD, Coach Mande John shares the mental models from CBT and coaching that help her navigate raw feelings without letting them turn into full-body, full-brain spirals. She breaks down a simple framework ADHD brains can actually use when overwhelmed, grieving, stressed, or activated. In this episode, we discuss: Why ADHD brains move quickly from one thought to a whole story (and from that story to real feelings in the body) How the spiral works: from "this is a lot" to "I can't handle my life" to "I'm failing" to "I will always be this way" Why we're not just feeling what happened today - we're feeling today PLUS years of shame and painful memories The second layer of suffering: judging ourselves for having the original feeling The simple model: Circumstance → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result (and why this matters for ADHD) How to catch a "hot thought" - the thought that carries the emotional charge Why broad, absolute words (always, never, everyone, nothing) are clues you're in a spiral The power of naming the feeling (not explaining the situation, not telling the story) Why ADHD feelings often come tangled together (anger with hurt underneath, "lazy" with overwhelm underneath) Mande's personal example: catching anxiety in real-time when her child flew alone for the first time The compassionate thought ladder: moving one rung at a time to the next believable thought (not toxic positivity) Why fake positive thoughts don't work for ADHD brains (we're too smart for that) The "kindest minimum" question: What is the smallest step I can take right now that still supports me? How to interrupt all-or-nothing thinking (full workout or nothing, clean the whole room or pick up nothing) Why allowing yourself to be supported is also self-compassion The 6-question Spiral to Self-Compassion Reset you can use in real time Mande shares vulnerable personal stories about her recent season of raw feelings - including losing her dog and navigating her child's first solo flight - and exactly how she used these tools to come back to herself sooner. Key Takeaway: Self-compassion is telling yourself the truth without being mean. Raw feelings are not a failure. Spiraling does not mean you're broken. The goal is not to become perfectly calm - it's to notice sooner, soften sooner, and stop making every hard moment mean something terrible about who you are. The win is coming back to yourself faster. Resources Mentioned: 📖 Book: Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns (upcoming episode) Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly Instagram: @learntothrivewithadhd Ready to build self-compassion practices that work with your ADHD brain? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #ADHD #ADHDPodcast #SelfCompassion #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDCoaching #MentalHealth #CBT #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #ADHDSpiral Click here for full show notes Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#120
May 14 · 30 min
Ep 120 - Atomic Habits for ADHD: How to Build Habits That Actually Stick
Are you exhausted from trying to build habits that never stick? Do you know exactly what you should be doing but still struggle to follow through consistently? What if the problem isn't that you lack discipline - it's that traditional habit-building advice doesn't account for how ADHD brains actually work? In this episode of Learn to Thrive with ADHD, Coach Mande John breaks down Atomic Habits by James Clear through an ADHD lens. She explains why small changes repeated over time can be transformational for ADHD brains - and how to build habits that reduce executive function load instead of relying on willpower alone. In this episode, we discuss: Why ADHD makes consistency hard: executive function affects starting, remembering, prioritizing, shifting attention, and tolerating boredom How habits reduce the executive function load required to do supportive behaviors The keystone habit concept: choosing the one habit that makes multiple other things easier Why trying to fix everything at once usually doesn't last (and what to do instead) Starting smaller than you think you need to: why small habits are easier to start, repeat, and return to after interruption The 4-part habit framework from Atomic Habits: cue, craving, response, reward How to troubleshoot habits instead of blaming yourself when they don't stick Why "Is the cue strong enough?" is a better question than "Why can't I ever get it together?" Using environment to make cues visible and obvious (out of sight = out of mind for ADHD) How external support like tracking, reminders, calendars, and accountability helps habits stick Why habits need to feel satisfying and rewarding to last (especially with ADHD) The 2-minute rule: making habits so easy to begin that your brain doesn't resist Why the hardest part isn't the habit itself - it's getting started (activation energy) The timeline question: why it may take longer for ADHD brains to build habits (and why that doesn't mean you're failing) Why slow progress is still progress and needing more support doesn't make the habit less real Mande shares personal examples including how her keystone habit of planning on Google Calendar took two years to solidify - and why that's still a win. She explains why small habits aren't about being unambitious; they're about lowering the barrier to entry so the pattern can actually form. Key Takeaway: Habits aren't about becoming perfect. They're about making life more doable. When something becomes habitual, there's less friction, less debate, less starting from scratch. You're no longer depending entirely on your most effortful brain functions to get through daily life. Don't dismiss a system just because it looks simple. Don't assume something isn't working just because it's taking longer than you hoped. The goal is to build systems that make your life easier to follow through on. Resources Mentioned: 📖 Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly Instagram: @learntothrivewithadhd Ready to build habits that actually work with your ADHD brain? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #ADHD #ADHDPodcast #AtomicHabits #ADHDHabits #ADHDCoaching #HabitBuilding #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #ExecutiveFunction #ADHDProductivity Click here for full show notes Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#119
April 23 · 18 min
Ep 119: Standards, Not Shame: The ADHD Way to Reach Your Potential
Are you exhausted from the cycle of setting a standard, missing it once, and labeling yourself a failure? Do you push harder in unsustainable ways or quit completely when shame shows up? What if the problem isn't that you lack discipline - it's that your ADHD brain turns every standard into an all-or-nothing trap? In this episode of Learn to Thrive with ADHD, Coach Mande John breaks down why traditional standards don't work for ADHD brains — and what to do instead. She shares how to build flexible, sustainable standards that guide you instead of judging you. In this episode, we discuss: Why ADHD turns standards into all-or-nothing thinking (and how to stop it) The critical difference between values (your deeper why) and standards (your measurable actions) How to know your standards are being violated: when you get upset or angry Why measurable standards matter: if your brain can't track it, you'll feel like you're failing even when you're trying The all-or-nothing trap: when one miss becomes "I failed completely" How shame shows up and makes you either push harder unsustainably or disconnect and quit Building flexible standards with minimum, target, and maximum ranges for different capacity weeks Why minimum isn't "I'll try" — it's a specific floor you can hit even on hard weeks The review → revise → recommit cycle for getting back on track without shame The one rule that keeps you engaged: every minute is a restart (no waiting for Monday) How comparison sabotages your standards (what you see vs. what is) Reality check questions: Do I have time? Support? Is this a minimum, normal, or maximum season? Why celebrating progress isn't fluff — it's how you build momentum and evidence that your effort matters Redefining wins: starting, doing the minimum, finishing one piece, coming back after you drift Mande shares real examples including her 30-minute daily cleaning standard that isn't perfect but is consistent, and how people at her gym simply see working out as "who they are" — not something they force. She explains why rigid standards make you more likely to quit, while flexible standards make you more likely to continue. Key Takeaway: Standards are guideposts, not judgments. They help you stay pointed where you want to go. One miss is data — information about what got in the way (sleep, stress, overwhelm, planning, emotions, capacity). Use it to adjust, not to judge yourself. The skill you're building isn't "never drift" — it's "notice and correct." The win is how fast you come back. Resources Mentioned: Episode on "Your Perfect Week" (referenced) Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly Instagram: @learntothrivewithadhd Connect with Mande: Learn more about private coaching with Mande: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/services/ Free Resources: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/freeresources/ Website: https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/ LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/learntothrivewithadhd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ #ADHD #ADHDPodcast #ADHDStandards #ADHDCoaching #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #ADHDConsistency Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#118
April 9 · 15 min
Ep 118: ADHD Productivity When You’re Exhausted - A Better Way
Are you exhausted from trying to keep everything going - even when you have nothing left? Do you push through until you crash, or shut down completely when overwhelmed? What if there's a better way to navigate ADHD productivity when you're running on empty? In this episode of Learn to Thrive with ADHD, Coach Mande shares her personal experience from the past month - a fall, a black eye, a terrifying dog emergency, and unexpected responsibilities that all stacked at once. She walks you through exactly how she stayed connected to what mattered without burning out completely. In this episode, we discuss: The Pause → Review → Revise → Recommit framework for navigating overwhelming seasons with ADHD Why the all-or-nothing approach (push through everything OR shut down completely) doesn't work for ADHD brains The one question that changes everything when you're drained: "What can I do right now?" How Pause + Anchor creates a sustainable rhythm for low-capacity days Spoon Theory: understanding why you're not broken — you're just out of energy The ebb and flow of ADHD productivity: on fire vs. crawling (and why both seasons are normal) The staircase analogy: why sitting on a step is still progress, not failure How to hold space for what matters without forcing yourself to do everything Real-life example: how Mande moved through the day her dog had an emergency The simple check-in that keeps you connected to yourself: "What did I do today, and what felt good?" Mande shares how she made the decision to shift her podcast and YouTube schedule from weekly to bi-weekly - not as a failure, but as a strategic choice that honored her actual capacity. She also reveals what she does with her coaching clients when they're maxed out: she pulls back with them, focuses on what's right in front of them, and holds their bigger goals until they have capacity again. Key Takeaway: Small actions count. You don't need to do everything, and you don't need to be consistent in the way you think you "should" be. Pause, notice what you have capacity for, and take the next step that's actually available. Progress doesn't always look like constant movement. Sometimes it looks like slowing down. Sometimes it looks like resting. All of it counts. Resources Mentioned: Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly Instagram: @learntothrivewithadhd Ready to build ADHD strategies that work with your actual energy levels? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #ADHD #ADHDPodcast #ADHDProductivity #ADHDCoaching #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #SpoonTheory #ADHDBurnout Click here for full show notes Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#117
February 12 · 14 min
Ep 117: Executive Function Skill #9 Impulse Control
In this eye-opening episode of our executive function series, I reveal the truth about impulse control - and why hitting snooze, interrupting people, or buying things you didn't plan to isn't about willpower or character flaws. Your brain just moves faster than your awareness can catch it. 📌 Key Topics: Why impulse control struggles happen so fast you don't catch them until AFTER How my husband and I ended up $90,000 in debt (and the system that finally worked) The difference between motivation problems and impulse control challenges Understanding emotional impulsivity: why reactions come before awareness The mistake of going straight from reacting to self-criticism (and what to do instead) Creating physical cues and systems that work WITH your ADHD brain 🗣️ Featured Quote: "Impulse control isn't about stopping impulses. It's about learning how to work with them. Sometimes the pause comes after the action. Then it moves to during, and eventually, sometimes it shows up before. Progress is better than perfection. One pause at a time." 💡 Strategy Breakdown: The shopping cart pause technique: add items, close the window, wait 1-2 days The fridge check-in system: turn standing there into a moment of awareness Physical cues for interrupting (inspired by first graders—yes, really!) Self-soothing BEFORE self-criticism so your nervous system can actually learn Pre-programming reactions by asking "who do I want to be in that moment?" Using reflection (not judgment) to build skills over time 🔬 The Science: Research shows people with ADHD are about 15 times more impatient, 8 times more likely to be quick to anger, and 10 times more likely to lose their temper. This isn't about character—it's emotional dysregulation that needs support, not shame. 🎯 Real Examples: Impulsive spending, emotional eating, task-switching at work, blurting things out, hitting snooze, and yelling at kids (and how I finally stopped). 🔑 Key Takeaway: Impulse control struggles are often mistaken for motivation problems. Most people listening are highly motivated—the issue is regulating behavior in the moment, especially when discomfort shows up. Awareness after the fact still counts. That's where change starts. Connect with Mande: Learn more about private coaching with Mande: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/services/ Free Resources: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/freeresources/ Website: https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/ LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/learntothrivewithadhd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ #executivefunctions #adhd #impulsecontrol #adhdsupport #adhdstrategies #adhdcommunity #emotionalregulation #adhdawareness #neurodivergent #adhdtools Click here for full show notes. Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#116
February 5 · 9 min
Ep 116: Meditations for Mortals Explained for ADHD Brains
Have you been putting your life on hold — waiting until things calm down, waiting until you're caught up, waiting until you finally "have it together"? What if the wait is the problem? In this episode, Coach Mande breaks down the most powerful ideas from Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman — and shows you exactly why they hit different for ADHD brains. This isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about finally giving yourself permission to stop striving and start living — right now, exactly as you are. In this episode, we discuss: Why letting go of perfection isn't giving up — it's actually the doorway to moving forward again The "just do it once" reframe that takes all the pressure off starting How waiting to "catch up" before living keeps you trapped in a cycle that never ends The truth about focused energy: most humans (ADHD brains especially) only have 3–4 productive hours a day — and why that's not a flaw What "brain dead activities" are and how sorting your tasks this way changes everything Why peace doesn't have to be the finish line — it can be your starting point How letting other people have their own feelings is one of the most freeing things you can do (and why ADHD brains struggle with this) The magic of small completions — and how finishing things imperfectly actually builds momentum and trust with yourself Why you don't have to read the whole book to benefit — just one or two shifts can change your entire day Mande shares how this book gave her personal permission to stop demanding the impossible from herself, why these ideas work so well for ADHD brains, and the way each concept connects to the shame cycles and self-negotiation so many of us know all too well. She also unpacks the important nuance: this isn't about becoming perfectly organized or productive all day. It's about working with your natural energy, releasing over-responsibility for others, and letting small completions quietly build your confidence — one tiny step at a time. Key Takeaway: You're not behind. You don't have to wait to start living. Burkeman's ideas remind us that loosening our grip on perfection isn't failure — it's freedom. For ADHD brains, that single shift can open the door to everything else. Resources Mentioned: 📖 Book: Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman (available on Audible — approximately 4 hours) Instagram: @learntothrivewithadhd Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly Ready to start working with your ADHD brain instead of against it? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #ADHD #ADHDPodcast #ADHDMotivation #ADHDCoaching #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #BookReview #ADHDBooks #LetGoOfPerfection #ADHDStrategies Click here for full show notes Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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#115
January 29 · 7 min
Ep 115: ADHD-Friendly Motivation: One Question That Changes Your Day
Are you exhausted from negotiating with yourself all day long—about getting out of bed, doing the task, starting the project, or eating the thing? Do you wish motivation felt less like pressure and more like support? In this solo episode, Coach Mande shares one simple question that transforms how ADHD brains navigate daily motivation: "What would make me most proud in this moment?" In this episode, we discuss: The one question that reduces friction and makes hard tasks suddenly feel doable Why "just do it" doesn't work for ADHD brains (and what works instead) How to stop the exhausting mental tug-of-war that happens before every task The surprising truth: sometimes the answer to the question is REST (and why that's completely valid) How this practice invites you into alignment with who you want to be—moment by moment—without shame or pressure Why this question helps you move from constant self-negotiation to clarity and action Practical ways to remember the practice (using emotions as cues, making it visible, building it into your day) How small, consistent choices stack up over time to create real momentum Why you don't have to do this perfectly or every day—and why that's the entire point Mande shares how she stumbled onto this question while working with a client, why it works so well for ADHD brains, and the cumulative effect it's had on her own life. She also unpacks the important nuance: this isn't about productivity. It's about honesty, self-trust, and making choices that gently move you toward who you want to be. Sometimes that's action. Sometimes that's rest. Both count. Key Takeaway: Motivation doesn't have to feel harsh. This one question creates space for compassionate self-coaching that actually works—without adding another "should" to your list. When you ask yourself what would make you most proud in this moment, you're practicing honesty, building self-trust, and making choices that align with your values. Resources Mentioned: FREE downloadable guide: Reflective questions + printable at learntothrivewithadhd.com/proud Instagram post to save and share: @learntothrivewithadhd Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly Ready to lower friction and make ADHD easier? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services #ADHD #ADHDPodcast #ADHDMotivation #ADHDCoaching #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity Click here for full show notes Send us Fan Mail CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!
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