Keep Me Young

Blake Jennings & Heather Jones

A weekly podcast bringing the world together through the ultimate unifier: fear of not getting a reference your friend just said at a party. Join hosts Blake Jennings and Heather Jones every Monday as they attempt to keep each other culturally relevant through pop culture, video games, entertainment, and whatever they feel is worthy of an unnecessary tangent!

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29 episodes
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Thursday · 1 hr 16 min
The Midterms: We Are So Back
Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1lFECguCHnfbzyokEWTM?si=JLozFQEVRnC0HXPjHMHPSA) Apple Podcasts: (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keep-me-young/id1835442547) Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. AMERICA IS BACK BABEY!!! Today we discuss purely the midterms and lib out within an inch of our lives as a treat! Join in on the fun and LETS GET TO WORK BABES! As always, you can send submissions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
October 9 · 1 hr 10 min
Taylor Swift: The Downfall of a Showgirl
We are BOTH patient zero, if the sickness is being community leaders who are relevant and wise and hot and hilarious and never wrong about anything. Thanks for seeing us, Tay <3 And happy 50th episode! Heather is staying young because of the increasingly frail, gnarled, withering strength of the Republican party. When even DJT is tired of America’s bullshit…we know we’re on the right track. We will (might? maybe?) overcooooome. And Blake will straight up live forever if we get this Glee reboot. Okay, and sorry about it for the Swifties, but we’re not living for Encore. Specifically the buckwild, emo girl, spoken word poetry bridge of Patient Zero. Girl, what? We like the music video, though? I don’t know. We’re not mad, we’re just disappointed. And that’s all we’re willing to put into writing about TSwift! In a very real way, though, we continue to full chest, no-marking, hhhHHate Asmangold. World of Warcraft: Forever beta seemed like it was gonna get him out of these streets (being a right wing grifter who famously doesn’t brush his teeth) but it might have made things worse? Heather’s really worried about his immune system, so we’re not completely heartless. This week’s depression meals are brought to you by bread, butter, and fried food. The holy trinity. And our DMM submission is a HAIKU?! As always, you can send submissions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 27 · 1 hr 8 min
The COVID-Conscious Western Massachusetts Lesbian Bar that Shook the Nation
Hey, could anyone make my tshirt less loud right now and then and also give me a lobotomy? We are IRRITABLE and OVERWHELMED this week, thanks to hormones for Heather and something like sympathetic hormones for Blake. Thanks, bestie. Chat is it violent to run a lesbian bar slash venue in western Massachusetts in 2026? This week we’re staying so young thanks to the Beauty and the Beast style, torch-carrying mob who is BIG MAD about loosening restrictions and making masks optional one (1) day a week. Y’all, we love and support immunocompromised and disabled people. And also. Sometimes we queers could . Heather is living for DWTS along with Save the Last Dance fans, the tiktoker Coach Jackie, Juilliard apparently? and all the thirsty girls watching that sweet funny boy do hot things. We’re aging and potentially showing our age by siding with that career counselor who said don’t bring your iced coffee into an interview. But do note that we’re strategic bootlickers over here and sucking up to people to get a job was literally our job as opera singers. Clowning is back and 70,000 people are getting free tickets to the Met opera. The jesters just might save us! Both of our depression meals are repeats, which sort of adds to the depressing nature of them? DMM submissions are really starting to sound like Shakespeare and we’re HERE FOR IT. And thank you for indulging us by asking us to talk about ourselves in Q&A this week. As if we needed more of an excuse! As always, you can send submissions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 18 · 1 hr 15 min
Ed Sheeran Sucks and No One is Shocked
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 5 · 1 hr 1 min
Our Pokémon Hot Takes
Y’all behave because we have COMPANY over to the KMY house today. RobbyforShort and ShinyStone are here to gab about life, liberty, and their original drag race-style Pokemon reality show competition: The Girly Pop Games! The universality of bullying is keeping us young today. Artists, content creators, and protestors in Puerto Rico can all agree that bullying people in power CAN work! Try it! Reality television neither ages us or keeps us young, it’s just a constant in this life. Kelly Clarkson keeps us young and humble by being so @*$%& good at singing since day one. We get into the discourse of *discourse,* the wide and wonderful world of Pokemon, why straight men won’t allow whimsy into their lives, whether or not anything fun would exist if everyone went to therapy, and something called a “ball and gun” game? Which is unfortunately not as fun as it sounds. Be sure to watch The Girly Pop Games on YouTube, airing October 2nd! Blake is a guest judge and the rest of the cast will be announced this month. As always, you can send submissions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 29 · 1 hr 14 min
Dolly Parton & Tim Curry: The Loss of Two Legends
And! Sometimes! Fridays! We gabbed for a WHILE in this ep, just like old times. Hopefully y’all have some time to kill :) This week we’re aging along with the rest of the gay/artist/weirdo community because of the passing of BOTH Dolly Parton and Tim Curry. We honor their legacy by talking about their amazing movies, how easy it is to get gay people to love you, and how unbelievably hot they are. Do y’all realize how smart and generous Dolly was?? Did y’all know Tim Curry is the voice of that sexy oil spill villain in Fern Gully??? Nobody here is old enough to remember that movie… Anyway, may their memory be a blessing. We’re thrilled that Rocky Horror Picture Show is on Broadway and we honestly just want to slowly stack the cast with everyone from Glee and/or The Glee Project. AI video games continue to be the worst and Blake had to go on an apology tour as a result. Back to School as a concept is a bummer largely because bad interior design makes Heather cry. Our DMM submission comes straight from a fellow Opera Camp soldier who IS translating her text unlike some people… And we finally get into Q&A again! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 21 · 50 min
The Monkey's Paw of Being a Pop Girl
And sometimes Fridays! And sometimes UNDER an hour! Can you even believe? This week we are aging aka our brains are literally decaying and atrophying because of a Splatoon brain rot voiceover. And our hearts are both growing 3 sizes like the grinch and also withering away because of the malevolent use of “When Somebody Loved Me” all over Toy Story 5. They’ve got us so bad, we don’t even need to hear the words anymore!! But maybe we all need more plushies? We’re both aging and staying young because of our girl, Ari. We at KMY think everyone deserves to disappear into the woods every now and then (or for months at a time, like Heather), and that especially applies to celebrities. So everybody shutup and leave her alone so she can wear big hoodies in peace! The Women’s Pro Baseball League is keeping us young because 1. lesbian jocks in tight pants 2. women’s sports and 3. a national anthem rendition that defies gravity, time, and even pitch. Play ball! This week’s depression meals really don’t check any boxes at all other than “technically food” and we think that’s better than nothing. See you next week for Q&A! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 20 · 53 min
The Fake Concern of Ariana Grande's "Fans"
And sometimes Thursdays! And sometimes UNDER an hour! Can you even believe? This week we are aging aka our brains are literally decaying and atrophying because of a Splatoon brain rot voiceover. And our hearts are both growing 3 sizes like the grinch and also withering away because of the malevolent use of “When Somebody Loved Me” all over Toy Story 5. They’ve got us so bad, we don’t even need to hear the words anymore!! But maybe we all need more plushies? We’re both aging and staying young because of our girl, Ari. We at KMY think everyone deserves to disappear into the woods every now and then (or for months at a time, like Heather), and that especially applies to celebrities. So everybody shutup and leave her alone so she can wear big hoodies in peace! The Women’s Pro Baseball League is keeping us young because 1. lesbian jocks in tight pants 2. women’s sports and 3. a national anthem rendition that defies gravity, time, and even pitch. Play ball! This week’s depression meals really don’t check any boxes at all other than “technically food” and we think that’s better than nothing. See you next week for Q&A! Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 19 · 1 hr 9 min
A Drag Queen's Big Brother Betrayal
Ding dooong, two chronically online millennials calling! The world continues to be our oyster and yes, you SHOULD interpret that as yonic imagery. This week we dive into TV and film faves of today and yesterday, and, ultimately, we discover the spectrum of feral Drag Race fandom to tenderqueer Steven Universe simps. Oprah’s name was Orpah? Will a drag queen get dragged in the Big Brother edit? We dig into The Odyssey (again), including but not limited to: Heather not knowing the difference between white men auteurs, straight boy foolishness, making generational talent actors say buckwild lines, Robert Pattinson being the world’s best c*nty frat boy, geeking out about that cyclops sound effect, and Elliot Page absolutely chewing up his 1.5 scenes. And let’s make a little commotion for that witch and those piggy boys! Watching the Odyssey as Christopher Nolan intended: by listening to two gays discuss it on a podcast. Our depression meals today are instant noodle based and we get a DMM submission that takes us on a RIDE. And an earnest but “low stakes” Q&A about ways to spice up long distance relayshes. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 23 · 1 hr 9 min
The Odyssey is the LOUDEST (and Best) Movie EVER
AND SOMETIMES WE POST ON THURSDAYS. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: time is a construct. We are ~*$~artists*$~~ and we can’t be expected to do the same thing more than one week in a row. Hi besties! Join us on an odd-dussy this week through way too many topics for how many minutes this episode is. Heather’s staying young on the sidelines of Black Instagram watching the “bouncy church dress” trend and giggling at the intermittent beauty of people doing dumb shit and posting videos on the internet for each other. Taco Bae is keeping us all young and healthy by being better prepared than the FDA and that’s on trusting processed foods. Jacob Collier makes another appearance on the pod but it’s because Heather listened to one (1) song and actually liked it. Yikes. Lena Dunham’s memoir Famesick is also aging us just because, like. Girl. What a life. Woof. Blake is old and young and infinite and limitless because of the ODYSSEY, which he graciously describes to Heather, who has completely forgotten high school English but kind of sort of watched Percy Jackson while they were babysitting. We’re aging at the corner of the internet that continues to be racist and transphobic, shocker. Show us a more beautiful woman than Lupita Nyong’o. JUST TRY. Blake is adding “famous voice actor” to his resume? **Watch this space** for the first and last voice actor Grammy win. Depression meals are kind of all desserts this week? And we got the first of hopefully MANY similarly ridiculous Q&As. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 15 · 1 hr 5 min
"The Scariest Movie of the Year" and Why It Sucks
Pride month is every month and this week Heather is staying young with THREE bits of queer news: Lady G’s comment section haters, Layla from Mormon Wives dating a lady, and a new women’s pro baseball league! **Apologies to the WMLB team that got forgotten: San Francisco Firebells! Blake is staying young from a secret work trip to LA like a real ~influencer~ and we’re both on the edge of our seats about the Silky and A’Keria beef which might be…nothing? Speaking of which! Undertone, the “scariest movie of the year” is about podcasters with bad time management skills. Yes, queen, give us nothing! We feel approximately one hundred years old because of Erlin Haalan’s insane 500k Hermes bag collection at the age of TWENTY FIVE. Should we be investing in bags? Leave your certified financial advice in the comments below! This week our depression meals cause emergencies and have staying power but Q&A is a rare peek into the rare good food and drink choices we make. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 8 · 1 hr
Taylor Swift, Bangladesh, and Captain America's Bulge
The thing about setting a low bar is that when you get two episodes in a row, it feels like Christmas!! Under promise, over deliver, baybeeee xoxoxoThis week we obv had to reflect on our respective family/extended family wedding experiences over the weekend, including but not limited to impromptu line dances, fake-out flash mobs, having the sound guy in your back pocket, crying, AND not crying. Pour one out for our fallen soldier, Blue Barry Jones, Heather’s senior cat who crossed the rainbow bridge to join Blake’s family pets 🕊️ And speaking of meaningful, personal, intentional, poignant life events that bring us together, we also discuss America’s wedding aka JUST+T MARRIED. Heather is aging from that Bangladesh song but not for the reason you’d think, and Blake is aging and staying youthful from a certain Marvel Captain America bathing suit graphic that’s very…girthy. Representation matters and cartoon video game men can be objectified too! Feminism is also great for gay guys!! Our depression meals are another quantity over quality situation, brought to you by BLOATING. We asked and you listened and our Q&A is not of the life/mental health threatening variety! If you are in an emergency situation, please seek professional treatment and not the advice of podcast hosts! ILYSM, bestie! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 29 · 1 hr 2 min
Leave Ariana Grande Alone! Clown on Tyra Instead!
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 11 · 1 hr 10 min
Gamers and Misogyny: A Predictable Pair
HAPPY PRIDE, DIVAS! Our only question this week is: Why are you gay? https://open.spotify.com/track/5Yof9eDjqqnpu6Lv42TmxR?si=5bd5955d330f429aMay and June are the time for EVENTS and PARTIES and APPEARANCES, so we’re gonna do our best to be in your ears every week but if we aren’t, it’s because time is a construct and not because we don’t love you. This week Keke Palmer and Sean Evans aka KeSean are making us feel like school girls with a crush. Please just announce your relaysh, guys. We’re rooting for you! We’re all rooting for you! Arianna Grande took off the blonde wig and she’s BACK to sassy songwriting and riffs, and we’re so here for it. The Knicks are in the NBA Finals which means Heather has to be a basketball bro again? Exhausting. And video game Twitter explodes over God of War: Laufey because (checking our notes) there’s a woman lead who doesn’t wear makeup. That sounds about right. Depression Meals are store brand, extremely cheesy, and tuna flavored this week, and in Q&A we try to suggest ways for our lesbian fam to be visibly queer in a bathing suit. Gay pride flag as a cape is always safe. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 27 · 49 min
Is Watching P*rn Cheating? | A Millennial Analysis
We’re baaaaack, did you miss us? We’re not like other girls, because we take normal weeks off and then post on federal holidays. AS IS OUR RIGHT. Rest is anti capitalist and we are nothing if not social justice warriors. This week we *try* to keep it short and sweet, but naturally we get going on our Topics and Opinions and it’s basically a full length ep. Heather is staying young because of one half of their favorite couple, that’s right Conor Leavitt. He’s dancing in an off-Broadway show! What?! And Blake is staying young with season 4,389 of Drag Race All Stars, except that we’re not sure an average human needs to view THIS many lip sync competitions in one lifetime. Heather is aging because of the acute only child energy of Jacob Collier and his NYU commencement speech. Blake opens the biggest can of worms from a Twitter post so we can all ponder together: is watching p*rn the same as cheating? What if you watch g*y p*rn? Then, obviously, we had to discuss Christianity in American culture and the privileges of gender v. sexuality. Just light and fluffy stuff over here at Keep Me Young!!! Depression meals this week are sugar based, but gluten free! So basically health food! We’ll be back next week with a Q&A when we can rant and ramble like normal. See you thennnnnn. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 11 · 1 hr 21 min
James Charles and Hantavirus: The Two Villains of the Week
Hi besties! Welcome to a nighttime episode where your favorite hosts are in an insomnia induced FLOW STATE. A bunch of Gay Guys are keeping us young this week. Firstly, Jake Shane’s feral interview skills, and secondly, Heather’s parasocial relationship of two gay guys on the internet Gus Heagerty and Dan Pelosi. We all deserve a love like that!!! Actually so many things are keeping us young this week, woof. We’ve got Hantavirus and its repercussions for people in the p*ss kink community, Jeff Bezo’s wife in her mother of the bride dress at the Met Gala and how people were shocked and appalled that billionaires are the only people who can support art at a high level in a Children’s choirs are catching strays too?? If there’s anything you should know about Keep Me Young Pod, it’s that we do NOT want to hear unison choral arrangements of pop songs, divas!!!! James Charles said something that rage baited Blake, so stick around for a really top shelf Blake Rant in the middle of the pod. Depression meals this week are snackyyyy and we’ve got a light and easy Q&A about ~cinema.~ Two weeks in a row about movies, just waiting for A24 to ask to produce us. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 4 · 1 hr 14 min
The Devil Wears Prada 2 Fixed Us (Mostly)
Y’all we were in some kind of silly goofy mood this week, so buckle up for a LOT of detours and tangents on a podcast that’s already built on detours and tangents. This week Blake is staying young because of Devil 2. We collectively are staying young because it is a renaissance for the MOVIES this summer. We heart CINEMA and having a Communal Movie Going Experience. And the choir said “Heartbreak feels good in a place like this!.” We discuss Blake’s human Barbie sister, nicknames that don’t age super well, Heather’s favorite body part on Blake, and the absolute buckwild poetry of Southern idioms. Heather ages all the way to boomer when they realize in real time that the trend of texts set to gospel music is fully AI. Let us all take this as a lesson to trust our instincts! Regular degular people in fact cannot write and perform and record gospel music so well or so quickly! Blake is yet again aging because of a conservative straight white man, this time in the form of alleged “comedian” Ben Bankas and a self posted video of his alleged “successful crowd work” wherein he harasses alleged “hecklers” who are simply two women who are not laughing at his jokes. Nobody freak out, but Keep Me Young was featured in a small to medium viral post on Twitter for our HOT Heated Rivalry takes. And THAT’S why you should always say your opinions into a microphone if you are gay. Our depression meals are surprisingly aspirational, just with really horrible execution. And Q&A this week is alllll about self care, baby. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or on Instagram @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick. @popkisstheband Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
April 27 · 1 hr 7 min
The Correspondents' Dinner Shooting Is About to Spawn the Worst Takes You’ve Ever Seen
Surprise we’re back! Keeping you on your toes here at KMY and we’re back from spring break aka Blake’s family vacation to Florida where against all odds he got sick. But he also had a birthday! HBD king, way to stay on theme with the pod by aging another year! This week our president’s inevitably horrible takes after the White House Correspondents Dinner is aging us. And that’s all we’re gonna say about that in print. Megan Thee Stallion getting CHEATED on causes us to get really philosophical about relationships in general, fame, money, infidelity, monogamy, and straight culture. Blake is thrilled at Euphoria being back on air, and is NOT MAD about That One Gross Scene, okay?? Heather is staying young watching Billie Eilish live her dreams as one less lonely girl with J Biebs at Coachella. She’s just like us, fr. We’re taking a brave stand and formally announcing that we’re pro-bicycles here at Keep Me Young. Unless we’re surrounded by a lot of people who hate bikes. And finally, we try to answer life’s big questions, like “can you think someone is hot without actually liking them?” and “are the youths fundamentally more careful and police-y because everything is filmed and they can’t make mistakes in private?” We return to our roots with depression meals this week and prove that snacks are, in fact, food, and sometimes that’s a meal. Our submission is a true film noir, and let it be an example for creative writers everywhere. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
April 20 · 1 hr 25 min
Friends, Karaoke, and the Rapid Decline of Trump
Stop EVERYTHING and tell us right now if you’re older than 25 and had to sign up for the draft as an 18 year old. Hello??? Did everyone except Heather know about this? Thanks to Queen Donna for her second cameo to clarify Blake’s near military service and our condolences to the newest draftees and let’s all meditate on the implications of compulsory military service for one half of the population because I guess we’ve deemed them both strong and disposable? Eeeeek! Please take a deep centering breath before reading this next sentence: This week Heather is aging muy rapido because of our idiot president and his idiot supporters and certain world leaders’ compulsive destruction and greed. Whew and moving on! Heather and Blake join each other after a night of irl friendship celebrating Blake literally aging another year (humiliating!) at a karaoke birthday party. We discuss karaoke culture, the best good/bad songs to sing in front of your friends, and the Love of the Sport of Singing. We share our personal power rankings of everyone in Friends, and then fall down a massive rabbit hole of early 2000s sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory and how so many of them were like, kinda bad and boring! This week’s depression meals were supposed to be medicinal and they absolutely failed, but we redeemed ourselves with top shelf professional (?) Queer and Gay life advice. And you know what? As a little treat, we went on the longest tangent ever, absolutely losing our minds for the chubby hotties of the world. God bless. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
April 6 · 1 hr 37 min
Boob: The Kristi Noem Story
Two horrible politicians stand before me. But there’s only one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl that is still in the running towards becoming America’s Worst Trump Defender. I’ll only call one name and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to the house and pack your bags. Wait, PLOT TWIST both Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem were eliminated! Welcome back to Keep Me Young! This week Blake and Heather are staying young and wild and free because not even the devil’s handmaidens are safe from being fired. It’s really okay and fine to cross dress, even when you buy the cheapest b**bies that the dark web had to offer. But I guess not when your wife is a transphobe Republican? Keep that in mind. Also. We, two of the most chalant people you’ll ever parasocially know, are rapidly aging because of the epidemic of Cool Guys who wouldn’t be caught dead being earnest. Please we beg of you, join us on top of cringe mountain! The view is incredible! Where do YOU fall on the spectrum of Chappell Roan to Kanye in the “separate the art from the artist” debate? This week’s depression meals are surprisingly healthy (?) and our Q&A brings us back to our youths when we literally didn’t know anything about the world or ourselves. As if that’s any different from now…Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick @popkisstheband @niconeeek Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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