How To! with Charles Duhigg

How To!

You've got questions. We find answers.

We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask. Each week, we invite a listener on the show to tackle a real problem, like protecting our elderly loved ones from scammers, emigrating as a throuple, and speaking without saying "um" - all with help from world-class experts: attorneys, doctors, entrepreneurs, authors, researchers - who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.

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English

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#407
Tuesday · 26 min
How to Argue With Your Spouse (And Stay In Love)
Lauren and Carlos are afraid their marriage is at a breaking point. With Carlos out of work, an active toddler to care for, and another child on the way, Lauren and Carlos are feeling pressures familiar to many newlyweds—and the pandemic has only made it worse. Can we help this couple find their way back to each other? On this episode of How To!, we bring on John and Julie Gottman, who are not only co-founders of The Gottman Institute and co-authors of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a
#406
September 15 · 27 min
How to Teach Your Kids Resilience
Is there a right way to let kids struggle and fail? How do you raise resilient children? And most important, when should you help out, and when should you chill out? We ask Wendy Mogel, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee to advise a Portland, Oregon, couple who worry about their son becoming upset when he gets wet in a squirt-gun fight.
#405
September 8 · 29 min
How To Run (Even When It's Painful)
Sophie Power once breastfed her newborn during an ultramarathon, but an upcoming 268-mile race across a remote stretch of Great Britain is freaking her out. We turn to Wim Hof, aka "The Iceman," for advice. Because when you are worried about pain, you should definitely consult a Dutch extreme athlete who sits in freezing water for fun. (Really!) This is a great episode for anyone who is scared up taking up a running habit, or any other exercise (or who just loves hearing about how to withstand p
#404
September 1 · 29 min
How To Stop Worrying So Much
Matt has anxiety attacks. Every day. When he gets too many texts, when he starts worrying about his family, when the unexpected occurs—that’s when the sweat starts and his mind begins racing. He’s a strong guy—he was a cop—but he thinks today’s problem is connected to a tragic event in the past, and he doesn’t know what to do. We introduce him to Ben Michaelis, a clinical psychologist and habit expert, to help Matt figure out what’s triggering his anxiety attacks and how he can get back control
#402
August 25 · 24 min
How To Sleep Better
Ben, also know as "Sleepless in San Francisco" hasn't been able to get a good night's rest for over a decade. He's tried noise machines, medication, vodka, even eating cheese -- but nothing has worked. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Andy Puddicombe, a former Buddhist monk and co-founder of the meditation app Headspace, to help Ben hit the hay. Plus, some new information from the frontiers of sleep from your host, Charles Duhigg! Learn more about Sleep at Charles Duhigg's newsletter, T
#403
August 18 · 36 min
How to Bounce Back From Injury
Jami's dealt with chronic knee instability and dislocations since childhood, two major surgeries, years of tedious rehab. Now she wants to actually trust her body again before starting a family, not just tolerate it. She talks to Tom Morrison, a mobility coach who thinks most people rehab wrong: too much isolating single muscles in a gym, not enough moving joints through their full range the way real life demands. His fix is almost annoyingly simple, five minutes a day, household stairs, some deliberate fidgeting, nothing that looks like a workout. He also digs into why recovering athletes sabotage themselves without realizing it, pushing hard in the gym while skipping the boring daily movement that's actually doing the real work. Click Here to learn more about Tom Morrison Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
#401
August 11 · 42 min
How to Improve Cyclists' Safety from Dangerous Non-Cyclists' Behavior
Amateur cyclist and university associate professor Wendy loves riding her bike with her young son and local road group, but aggressive drivers, close calls, and a deep-seated hostility toward cyclists leave her fearing for their safety on the road. Enter Meredith Glaser, CEO of the Urban Cycling Institute and professor of cycling at Ghent University, who advocates for shifting away from defensive cycling culture and toward treating bikes as everyday appliances rather than radical political statements. She introduces Wendy to the power of temporary "street experiments" and community-led initiatives like the "bicibus" or "kidical mass," advising her to leverage grassroots momentum, youth health messaging, and local allies (including cycling police officers) to reclaim public streets, foster safer road habits, and normalize bike transit without getting bogged down in municipal bureaucracy. Meredith Glaser is the CEO of the Urban Cycling Institute and a leading expert on human-scale mobility. Head over to urbancyclinginstitute.org to learn more. They also have a substack - Urban Cycling Institute | Substack Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at howto@mikepesca.com and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠ad-sales@libsyn.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
#400
August 4 · 26 min
How To Stop Being an Emotional ATM
Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don't treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he's going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day when it would be better to let them figure it out. Starting with a hilarious story of the time Arthur's adult son called him—pantsless—from Las Vegas. If you liked this episode, check out part one: "How To Parent Less." Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at howto@mikepesca.com and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠ad-sales@libsyn.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
#399
July 28 · 33 min
How to Get Your Kids to Take Good Risks
Today on How To!, Freddy, a physician, scientist, and father, struggles with how to mentor his 12-year-old daughter, who prefers her safe comfort zone and strongly resists new experiences, travel, or unfamiliar foods. Host Mike Pesca brings on stand-up comedian and Parenting is a Joke podcast host Ophira Eisenberg to discuss strategies for nudging risk-averse kids to embrace uncertainty without overwhelming them. They explore why today's deluge of technology and abundance creates unique parenting hurdles, how to gamify trying new things, and the shift away from gentle parenting toward tougher love approaches like "FAFO." Plus, is pushing kids outside their comfort zone the key to preparing them for an unpredictable future, or should parents learn to accept their child's natural boundaries? Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at howto@mikepesca.com and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠ad-sales@libsyn.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
#398
July 21 · 34 min
How to Feel Good in Your Clothes
Today on How To!, Michael, a retired FDNY captain who used to rely on a uniform every day, finds himself staring blankly into his closet and canceling dates because he does not know how to dress. Host Mike Pesca brings on Tavia Sharp, an executive image and personal brand strategist and founder of Styled Sharp, to help Michael navigate post-retirement style, move past 1990s baggy clothing trends, and overcome the challenge of finding proper-fitting clothes as a shorter guy. They discuss the concept of building a practical "capsule wardrobe," why you shouldn't blindly trust store clerks who call themselves stylists, and how to shop for your specific body type. Plus, is adopting a color palette and finding your "season" actually helpful advice, or just unnecessary over-complication? Executive Producer Corey Wara Edited by Geoff Craig Booking by Ben Astaire Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at howto@mikepesca.com and we will consider your topic for the show. For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠ad-sales@libsyn.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
#397
July 14 · 36 min
How to Hire Someone and Be a Good Boss
Comedian and Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! panelist Paula Poundstone splits her time among a grueling tour schedule and a chaotic home life, but she wants to find the focus necessary to manage her household staff and stop letting her deep aversion to conflict ruin her business. Enter Nedra Glover Tawwab, relationship expert and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, who advocates for establishing extreme clarity and asserting direct workplace rules rather than falling into the trap of passive-aggre
#396
July 7 · 30 min
How To Keep Cool in a Crisis
Originally Aired on Oct 12, 2021 On this episode of How To!, the second in a two part-series, Dan Christensen, a bus driver in Portland, Oregon, and Matt Smith, a crisis intervention trainer and the co-founder of Aegis Training Solutions, are back to teach you what to do when a fight is already underway. Dan talks about his experience with the 2017 Portland train attack that left two people dead. How do you stay safe? What is your responsibility to those around you? In short, how can you be a b
#395
June 30 · 33 min
How Constraints Make Us More Creative
Ofra splits her time among a number of hobbies in her retirement, but she wants to stop feeling rudderless and find the focus necessary to write a book of observational humor based on her twenty-year career as a psychotherapist. Enter David Epstein, workplace researcher and author of Inside the Box, who advocates for creating artificial structure and imposing concrete deadlines rather than falling into the trap of endless optionality. He introduces Ofra to an evaluation rubric for vetting creati
#394
June 23 · 38 min
Should I Choose Passion or a Stable Job?
India splits her time between contract production and agency work, but she wants to stop prioritizing other people's projects to scale her personal brand. Enter Simone Stolzoff, workplace researcher and author of The Good Enough Job, who advocates for building a multi-pronged freelance career rather than recklessly burning your ships. He introduces India to an evaluation rubric for vetting new business, advising her to decline any corporate opportunity that does not offer either a premium payout
#393
June 16 · 32 min
How To Make New Friends as an Adult
Steven racks up acquaintances on group mountain bike rides, but he cannot turn a casual trailhead hello into a real friendship. For decades he coasted on the built-in connections of being in a band, working in a lab, and having a wife who did the social legwork. But now he needs to make some new friends. Enter Dr. Marisa G. Franco, University of Maryland professor and New York Times bestselling author, who studies adult connection for a living. She walks Steven through the "liking gap," the tra
#392
June 11 · 18 min
Beating Yourself Up? The 10-Second Play That Outsmarts Your Inner Critic
This week we're sharing a special episode from our friends at Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin — the Webby Award–winning podcast hosted by psychotherapist and mental strength trainer Amy Morin, whose TEDx talk has been viewed more than 25 million times and whose books have sold over a million copies in more than fifty languages. Every week, Amy shares a practical, research-backed mental strength strategy you can use right away. Think of it as a therapy session you don't have to book: a
#391
June 9 · 31 min
How To Ditch Your Distractions Once and For All
There's one thing that all of Helena's personal projects have in common: they remain unfinished. The family photo album is empty, as is her mom's recipe book. And the lavender garden is still unplanted. Helena is not lazy. In fact, she's a busy lawyer who has no problem finishing tasks at the office. But she's also a busy mother raising a family, and free time is hard to come by. So how can Helena banish her distractions? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series on time managem
#390
June 2 · 33 min
How To Get Into Wine
Today on How To!, Ross, a TV director who enjoys a drink but feels intimidated by the pretension of the wine world, levels up his wine knowledge. Mike brings on journalist and The Corrupt Wine Writer Substack author Joel Stein to cut through the snobbery, explain why you shouldn't be afraid to ask for help at a wine shop, and offer practical tips on how to order confidently at restaurants without overspending. They discuss why "drinking what you like" is only half the battle and how to navigate
#389
May 26 · 32 min
How To Connect With An Audience
Guitarist and orchestrator Dillon Kondor knows his way around a stage. It's everything in between the songs that trips him up. Speaking to a crowd, filling the silence, not coming off stiff or defensive, that's where his confidence disappears. After too many gigs derailed by awkward pauses and self-protective sarcasm, Dylan reaches out to Mike for help. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings in the perfect guide: singer-songwriter Sharon Van Etten, who knows firsthand what it's like to freeze i
#388
May 19 · 35 min
How to Coach Your Kid
Brian stepped up to coach his 7-year-old daughter's soccer team to save their season, but there's one major catch: he's never actually played the sport. Now battling imposter syndrome and the pressure of intense parental expectations, he feels completely overwhelmed. On this episode of How To!, we bring on former Major League Soccer goalkeeper Jeff Attinella to demystify the art of youth coaching. They discuss the growing problem of early sports specialization and why keeping kids moving is far

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