
Divorce Myths That Could Be Costing You Thousands
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🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC)
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Episode Description
There are a LOT of divorce myths out there. And believing the wrong one isn't just annoying—it can give you completely unrealistic expectations and potentially cost you a whole lot of money.
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are busting some of the biggest divorce myths they hear over and over again.
Should you be concerned if your divorce attorney is friendly with your ex's attorney? (Spoiler: probably the opposite.) Are you actually going to end up in a dramatic divorce trial where a judge finally hears your story and tells you that you were right? Do you need a divorce coach because someone on Instagram told you that you do? And should your attorney be responding to every email immediately?
Andrea and Morgan also tackle one of the biggest misconceptions about hiring a divorce attorney: that a "simple divorce" means you don't need to think carefully about the level of attorney—and level of service—you hire.
Morgan explains why having attorneys who can work well together can actually reduce posturing, speed up negotiations and potentially save clients money. She also shares that in her own practice, she estimates 5% or fewer of her cases actually reach a full trial—and why settlement is generally preferable when it's possible.
This episode is about separating what divorce looks like on TV, Instagram and in your imagination from what actually happens—and helping you make smarter decisions with your time, money and legal strategy.
Divorce Myths We're Busting
MYTH #1: Your attorney shouldn't be friendly with opposing counsel.
Actually, a good professional relationship between attorneys can make negotiations more efficient and reduce unnecessary fighting—and unnecessary legal fees.
MYTH #2: Your divorce is probably going to trial.
A hearing isn't the same thing as a full-blown trial. Morgan estimates that 5% or fewer of her own cases reach a full trial, in part because trial is expensive and ultimately puts major decisions about your life into the hands of a judge.
MYTH #3: You need a divorce coach.
Not necessarily. Morgan's advice is to involve your attorney before adding a coach to your divorce team and to make sure anyone you hire has appropriate credentials and a clearly defined role. Andrea and Morgan also distinguish this from a collaborative divorce where coaching may already be part of the process.
MYTH #4: Your divorce attorney should always respond immediately.
Your situation may feel like an emergency—and emotionally, it absolutely may be—but law firms have to triage truly urgent situations. Morgan explains what she considers reasonable communication expectations and why this is something you should ask about before hiring an attorney.
MYTH #5: A "simple divorce" doesn't require a great attorney.
Andrea and Morgan explain why you should hire based not only on the conflict in your case, but also on the level of communication and service you need. And that includes evaluating the entire firm—not just the attorney sitting across from you during the consultation.
In This Episode You'll Learn
- Why your attorney having lunch with opposing counsel can actually be a GOOD thing
- How attorney relationships can affect your legal bill
- Why most divorces don't end in a full-blown trial
- Why going before a judge probably won't give you the vindication you're imagining
- When a divorce coach can help—and when another voice could complicate your legal strategy
- What you can reasonably expect when communicating with your divorce attorney
- The questions to ask about response times before hiring a law firm
- Why the staff and client experience matter when choosing an attorney
- Why "simple divorce" doesn't necessarily mean you should choose the cheapest lawyer
Key Takeaways
Your divorce attorney being friendly with opposing counsel does not mean they're "in cahoots." In many cases, trust and professional respect between attorneys can mean less posturing, faster negotiations and fewer billable hours.
Don't build your entire emotional strategy around finally getting your day in court. As Morgan explains, even clients who technically "win" at trial can walk away feeling like they've lost after the financial and emotional cost of getting there.
And when you're interviewing divorce attorneys, ask very specific questions about communication: What's your normal response time? Who will I hear from if you're unavailable? What should I expect from your staff? If an attorney can't clearly answer those questions during the consultation, Andrea says to pay attention—that may tell you something about what the client experience will look like later.
Resources Mentioned
- Divorce Crash Course
- OurFamilyWizard
- Soberlink
- How Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community
- Divorce Guided Meditations — coming soon!
Subscribe, Rate & Review
If How Not to Suck at Divorce is helping you get through your divorce a little smarter, calmer and more prepared, please subscribe and leave us a review. It helps more people find the show—and allows us to keep bringing you honest conversations about what divorce is actually like.
www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck
And remember: divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days you're taking it day by day. Other days it's hour by hour. But it will end.
You've got this.
And we've got you.
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Our Family Wizard
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