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How Not To Suck At Divorce

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport

Action steps that save you money. Humor that saves your sanity. Honesty that helps you heal.

How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clear answers, smart strategy and support through life before, during and after divorce.

Hosted by family-law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill and comedian and marketing expert Andrea Rappaport, we break down the parts of divorce that can feel impossible to navigate — divorce preparation, high-conflict spouses, narcissistic behavior and manipulation, child custody, co-parenting and parallel parenting, money and property, legal strategy, negotiation, divorce anxiety and life after divorce.

You’ll hear practical advice from leading divorce attorneys, therapists, financial professionals and other experts, along with honest conversations about what divorce actually feels like.

Our goal is simple: help you avoid expensive mistakes, understand your options and make decisions you’ll still feel good about years from now.

You don’t have to figure out divorce by yourself. We’ve got you.

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  • #252
    Yesterday · 36 min

    Divorce Questions Answered: A Stalling Spouse & a Lawyer Who Won’t Call Back

    Get the Divorce Crash Course for $50 Get practical divorce guidance with our private podcast and companion guidebook. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Your spouse is stalling. Your lawyer isn’t calling back. And you’re worried those angry texts might come back to haunt you. What now? In this listener Q&A episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, family-law attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport answer questions from our private community about divorce delays, coparenting communication, attorney responsiveness, and telling children about divorce after infidelity. We discuss what to do when your spouse won’t move forward—whether you’re still deciding how to leave or already navigating the divorce process. Morgan explains how attorney-guided discovery, court deadlines, and trial scheduling may help move a stalled case forward, along with the risks you need to understand before taking that step. We also address a question many listeners quietly worry about: What if I sent the angry texts before I knew better? Taking responsibility and showing consistent improvement can matter. It doesn’t erase past behavior, but it gives you a path toward better communication. Then we tackle the frustration of waiting weeks for your divorce lawyer to respond, when to discuss expectations, and when a second opinion may be worth considering. Finally, we talk about infidelity, protecting children from adult conflict, and getting support for difficult questions about why the marriage is ending. Plus: meet Victoria, our newest fictional character, and hear why Morgan’s influencer-inspired hair rollers were almost grounds for divorce. In this episode: What to do when your spouse is delaying divorce. How legal deadlines may help move negotiations forward. Why scheduling a trial doesn’t guarantee a settlement—or mean a trial is inevitable. How to address past angry texts and improve coparenting communication. What to ask when your divorce attorney takes weeks to respond. When to consider a second legal opinion. Why children shouldn’t become the audience for your pain over an affair. Where to find support for age-appropriate divorce conversations. Episode timestamps 01:25 — My spouse is stalling. How do I regain some control? 03:26 — What if we’ve already filed for divorce? 08:45 — Can my past angry texts hurt my divorce case? 15:28 — OurFamilyWizard: 20% off your first year. 15:55 — My lawyer takes weeks to respond. Should I get a second opinion? 21:45 — Introducing Victoria. 23:30 — Should I tell the kids we’re divorcing because of infidelity? 29:30 — Hair rollers, Amazon dupes, and the burnt-orange joggers. Save 20% on your first year of OurFamilyWizard Explore tools to help organize coparenting communication and discuss whether OurFamilyWizard is right for your family with your attorney. https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20 Need a moment to calm your mind? Our divorce guided meditations offer a place to pause when the waiting, conflict, and uncertainty feel overwhelming. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guides/p/divorce-guided-meditations Find episodes for what you’re dealing with Explore our topic playlists, including episodes about infidelity, and visit our website for guides and divorce resources. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast-playlists Keep the conversation going Join our private Facebook community through our website to ask questions and connect with other people navigating divorce. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com Follow How Not to Suck at Divorce and leave a rating or review to help more people find the show. This episode provides general information, not legal advice. Legal options and outcomes depend on your circumstances and jurisdiction. Consult your own attorney about your situation. Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve got this—and we’ve got you.

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  • #251
    Friday · 51 min

    Divorce & Co-Parenting Conflict: When to Call Your Lawyer or GAL

    Going through divorce? Get the Divorce Crash Course before you make an expensive mistake. Our Divorce Crash Course includes a private podcast and printable workbook with parenting agreement guidance, questions to ask your attorney, and communication templates to help you get organized. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. Get the Divorce Crash Course Your co-parent did something that pissed you off. Does your attorney need to hear about it? The kids come home in clothes that stopped fitting three years ago. Your ex introduces a new partner without following the parenting agreement. Someone buys concert tickets on your parenting night—and tells your child before asking you. Meanwhile, you’re finding out about school issues after everybody else. When you’re navigating a high-conflict divorce or custody dispute, it can be hard to tell the difference between an irritating interaction and a concern that deserves professional attention. Ignoring everything doesn’t feel right. Paying your attorney to address every problem gets expensive. So how do you decide? In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport welcomes back Atlanta family law attorney, former judge, and guardian ad litem Dan Bloom to work through real co-parenting scenarios. Dan keeps returning to one question: How is this affecting your child? Andrea and Dan explore why context matters, how to recognize patterns, and how to raise concerns with your attorney or guardian ad litem without turning every email into a custody battle. They also discuss why asking children to keep secrets between households changes the conversation—and how to respond when your child shares something uncomfortable. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to assess co-parenting conflict by its effect on your child. When clothing disputes become more than an argument about missing outfits. What to consider when an ex introduces a new partner outside the parenting agreement. How to support a child who has been told to keep a secret from you. How to handle activities scheduled during your parenting time. Why repeated exclusion from teacher emails and school information deserves attention. How to document concerns without spending every day reliving them. Why Dan generally recommends checking with your attorney before raising an issue with a GAL. How to ask for help in a way that focuses on your child and a workable solution. What matters to your child may be different from what bothers you. A missing shirt may not affect your child’s day. A missing comfort item that helps them sleep might. An inaccurate comment to a friend may be frustrating; misleading a teacher about the other parent’s involvement can have different consequences. Dan explains why the details matter more than assigning every incident the same level of urgency. The conversation also tackles the emotional trap of trying to get your ex to admit you’re right. You may never receive that apology or satisfying final email. The more useful goal is protecting your child from the conflict, recognizing concerns that need attention, and choosing a response that serves your family. Connect with Dan Bloom Dan consults on high-conflict custody matters in Georgia and throughout the country. If you need help thinking through difficult co-parenting situations or preparing to communicate with a GAL, reach out to ask whether his consulting services are a fit. Learn more about Dan Bloom Contact Dan’s firm Keep co-parenting communication in one place with OurFamilyWizard. Andrea discusses how OurFamilyWizard can help keep messages organized and available for later review. The episode also covers using its tone tools to reconsider a message before frustration takes over the conversation. Explore OurFamilyWizard Before you send the angry message, give yourself a few minutes. Our Guided Divorce Meditations include 11 short meditations created for difficult divorce moments, including worry about your kids, parenting exchanges, loneliness, and frustration with the process. Listen privately through your favorite podcast app when you need support before deciding what to do next. Get the Guided Divorce Meditations Subscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce, share this episode with someone navigating a difficult co-parenting relationship, and leave us a review. You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.

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  • #250
    September 30 · 37 min

    Divorce & Co-Parenting- Holidays: What Your Parenting Plan Is Missing

    Going through divorce? Start with the Divorce Crash Course. Before you agree to a parenting schedule, make sure you understand what you’re agreeing to. Our Divorce Crash Course includes a private podcast and printable workbook with parenting agreement guidance, questions to ask your attorney, and email templates to help you communicate more efficiently. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. Get the Divorce Crash Course “We’ll alternate holidays.” Great. What does that actually mean? Who gets Halloween? Does Thanksgiving parenting time include enough days to travel to see family? What happens when your child’s birthday falls on your ex’s day—and the two-hour visit you negotiated makes everyone miserable? In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle holiday parenting schedules, co-parenting conflict, and the emotional reality of spending holidays without your kids. Both hosts arrive tired and cranky, which means the advice is practical, the opinions are strong, and nobody is pretending this is easy. Andrea shares the holiday travel detail she missed in her own parenting agreement, along with what she learned from her first Thanksgiving away from her children. Morgan explains why family traditions, realistic exchange times, and your children’s changing needs deserve attention before you finalize a holiday schedule. They also discuss the potential benefits—and complications—of including an option to review parenting arrangements through mediation. The conversation gets into the details that can make holidays harder than they need to be: splitting trick-or-treating between households, calling in the middle of a family celebration, and making children feel responsible for a parent’s loneliness. You’re allowed to miss your kids. The challenge is finding support for those feelings while giving your children room to enjoy their time with their other parent. In this episode, we discuss: What to consider before agreeing to alternate holidays after divorce. Why out-of-state family visits may require more than one day of parenting time. How to identify the traditions that matter most to each household. Why a parenting schedule for toddlers may need a fresh look as children grow. The benefits and risks of future mediation or schedule-review provisions. Halloween, birthdays, and the pressure of switching households during a celebration. How to plan a brief, reassuring holiday check-in without grilling your kids. Creating something to look forward to together—even when you don’t have the actual holiday. You don’t need an expensive trip or elaborate celebration to make meaningful memories. A movie night, favorite snacks, or your own Thanksgiving on Saturday can give you and your kids something to anticipate. The calendar date doesn’t have to carry the entire relationship. Missing your kids? Start with our Guided Divorce Meditations. The hours before an exchange—or the quiet after your kids leave—can be some of the hardest. Our 11 short guided divorce meditations were created for moments like missing your children, feeling lonely, worrying about the future, and struggling to sleep. Listen privately through your favorite podcast app when you need a little support getting through the next few minutes. Get the Guided Divorce Meditations Keep holiday planning organized with OurFamilyWizard. When holiday plans involve travel requests, schedule changes, and messages with your co-parent, having a shared place to communicate can help you keep track of the details. Learn more about OurFamilyWizard, a supporter of How Not to Suck at Divorce and an angel underwriter of our Divorce Crash Course. And remember, we are the only podcast that can save you 20% on your first year. Explore OurFamilyWizard Subscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce, share this episode with someone navigating their first holiday season after separation, and leave us a review. You’ve got this. And we’ve got you. Mentioned in this episode: Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It’s completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

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  • #249
    September 25 · 49 min

    Divorce: How to Take Your Power Back From a Controlling Ex

    Need help getting through divorce right now? 🎧 Start with our Guided Divorce Meditations If your nervous system is completely fried, your thoughts are racing, or you feel like your ex has way too much control over your emotional state, start here. Our guided divorce meditations were created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety feels overwhelming. 💥 Get the Divorce Crash Course If you’re at the beginning of divorce — or you feel completely lost in the process — the Divorce Crash Course gives you the tools, information, checklists and guidance we wish everyone had from day one. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Our Family Wizard The co parenting app designed to help you during and after your divorce. Celebrities use it- you should too. And we are the only podcast that can get you 20% off your first year. Click the link above. Feeling Powerless During Divorce? Start Here. One of the most brutal parts of divorce is the feeling that someone else suddenly has control over your life. Your spouse may seem to control the money. The schedule. The kids. The pace of the divorce. Your emotional state. Maybe even whether you have a good day or a completely disastrous one. But feeling powerless and actually being powerless are not the same thing. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea sits down with former family law attorney and OurFamilyWizard Legal Liaison Nikol Sotos to talk about how to take your power back during divorce — especially when you’re dealing with a controlling or high-conflict ex. Nikol explains that one of the biggest mistakes people make when they feel overwhelmed is giving away control without even realizing it — sometimes to their ex, and sometimes even to their own attorney. Your lawyer can advise you, protect you and help you make strategic decisions, but this is still your life. And taking your power back does not mean becoming more aggressive. It often means doing less. Stop Reacting to Every Text If your ex sends an inflammatory message designed to make you explode, the most powerful response may be no response at all — at least not immediately. Andrea and Nikol talk about moving away from emotional reactions and toward strategic communication. Instead of firing back when your ex sends something infuriating, pause. Let your nervous system settle. Respond only to what actually requires a response. Sometimes that response is simply: “Thanks for the text.” Or: “Got it.” Or nothing. Because when someone is hoping to provoke you, refusing to give them the reaction they expect can change the entire dynamic. Document Everything — Even If Your Divorce Isn’t High Conflict Another unpopular opinion from Andrea: documenting is not just for ugly divorces. Even an amicable divorce can change quickly. A new partner enters the picture. Someone changes their position. A parenting disagreement escalates. Suddenly a conversation you thought everyone remembered very differently becomes important. Nikol recommends creating a paper trail regardless of the current conflict level. Create a separate email account for your divorce. Keep documents organized. Change passwords your spouse may know. Protect your privacy and your digital information. And please — do not announce to your ex that you are documenting them. Just document. Inside the Divorce Crash Course, we also give you a timeline tool to help organize important events and information during your case. Boundaries Are Not the Same Thing as Control Creating boundaries during divorce can feel strange, particularly if your lives were completely intertwined for years. Changing passwords. Opening your own account. Creating a separate email. Deciding when you are available to respond. Those actions can feel dramatic when you have never needed those boundaries before. But boundaries are about controlling your own environment, not controlling your ex. That distinction matters. Taking your power back does not mean dominating the other person. It means managing what happens inside your own life, your home, your mind and your emotional world. Make Tiny Changes When Everything Feels Out of Control Taking back control does not always start with a huge legal decision. Sometimes it starts absurdly small. Walk a different route. Order something different at Starbucks. Change one part of your morning routine. Do something that reminds your brain: I still make choices. Nikol explains that these small changes can interrupt the feeling that every part of your life is happening to you. No, switching from half-and-half to almond milk will not change the outcome of your divorce. But rebuilding your sense of agency in small areas can help you regulate your emotions — which can make it easier to make smarter decisions in the areas that really do matter. Your Ex’s Emergency Is Not Always Your Emergency You do not need to immediately answer every message. You do not need to abandon dinner with your friends because your ex sent 17 texts. Unless there is an actual emergency involving your children or another urgent situation, you are allowed to take time before responding. Nikol shares the story of a woman in a long, high-conflict divorce who began feeling dramatically more in control when she finally realized she did not have to react to everything her ex threw at her. That shift — from reacting to strategizing — is where power starts to return. In This Episode: Why divorce can make even confident people feel powerless How fear and uncertainty affect your decision-making Why you shouldn’t hand your entire life over to your attorney How to stop reacting to inflammatory texts from your ex Why silence can sometimes be incredibly powerful How to communicate with a controlling or high-conflict ex Why documentation matters even in an amicable divorce Why you should create a separate email account for your divorce Changing passwords and creating digital boundaries The difference between setting boundaries and trying to control someone How small daily changes can rebuild your sense of control Why your ex’s urgency does not automatically become your emergency How OurFamilyWizard’s ToneMeter can help keep communication neutral How to think more strategically and less emotionally during divorce Divorce can make you feel like your life is completely out of your hands. It isn’t. You may not be able to control what your ex does, what they say, how quickly the process moves or every decision made in your case. But you can control your responses, your boundaries, your documentation, your communication and the choices you make next. And sometimes that is exactly how you begin getting your power back.

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  • #248
    September 23 · 26 min

    Divorce Advice Nobody Wants to Hear: 10 Unpopular Opinions

    Divorce comes with a lot of advice. Andrea has some opinions about that advice. Get the Divorce Crash Course Get the Guided Divorce Meditations In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea shares 10 of her most unpopular divorce opinions—the ones that might make your lawyer raise an eyebrow, your mother clutch her pearls, or your group chat light up. Some of them are practical: you and your spouse should have separate attorneys, even if the divorce is amicable. Some are emotional: losing friends during divorce can be completely normal, and therapy should be treated as an essential part of the process, not an afterthought. And some might be a little more controversial—like the idea that dating during divorce is not automatically a terrible decision, as long as you talk to your attorney first and understand how complicated it can become. Andrea also tackles one of the hardest parts of co-parenting during divorce: what to do when your ex is behaving badly in front of the kids. Pretending unhealthy behavior is normal can be confusing for children, but criticizing the other parent can pull them directly into the conflict. The goal is to address the behavior without making your child responsible for the adult problem. And then there’s the survival stuff nobody talks about enough. Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about medication if your anxiety, sleep, appetite, or ability to function are falling apart. Maybe you desperately need a hobby that has absolutely nothing to do with your divorce. Maybe buying the sweater, getting your nails done, ordering takeout, or replacing your sheets is exactly the small reminder you need that your entire life has not been put on hold. And yes, Andrea is also making the case for watching more television—especially at night, when divorce anxiety has a way of turning you into a private investigator rereading texts, emails, locations, and Venmo transactions. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is turn off your divorce brain and binge something deeply unserious instead. Finally, Andrea takes on the marital home. Keeping the house after divorce can feel deeply important, especially when children are involved. But if keeping it leaves you financially stretched, unable to rebuild savings, or constantly afraid of the next major expense, it may not actually be protecting you or your kids. A house is not the only place where you can create safety, stability, and family. This episode is not a list of rules. It’s permission to question some of the divorce advice we hear over and over again—and to remember that your life does not have to stop while your divorce is happening. Because divorce is part of your life. It does not get to become your whole life. In this episode: Why Andrea believes divorcing spouses should have separate attorneys Why losing—and making—friends during divorce can be completely normal Why therapy may be one of the most important forms of divorce support How to address unhealthy behavior from an ex without putting kids in the middle The pros, cons, and complications of dating during divorce Why it may be worth talking to your doctor about mental-health support Why hobbies, television, and small treats can actually help you cope Why keeping the marital home is not always the best financial or emotional decision Andrea’s 10 Unpopular Divorce Opinions 1.You and your spouse should not share an attorney. Even in an amicable divorce, each person should have independent legal advice and someone protecting their individual interests. 2.You may lose friends during divorce — and make new ones. Divorce changes relationships. Some friendships fade, others deepen, and some may exist only for this particular season of your life. 3.You need a therapist during divorce. Divorce can trigger anxiety, grief, anger, childhood trauma, and other issues that go far beyond the legal process. 4.If your ex is behaving badly, you can address that behavior with your kids. The key is talking about unhealthy behavior without criticizing the other parent or pulling your child into the conflict. 5.Dating during divorce is not automatically a bad idea. Talk to your attorney first, understand the potential complications, and know that dating can be either a welcome distraction or a giant additional headache. 6.You may need medication during divorce. If anxiety, depression, sleep problems, or stress are interfering with your ability to function, talk to your doctor and therapist rather than ignoring your mental health. 7.You need a hobby during divorce. Having something in your life that has nothing to do with your case can be incredibly helpful for your mental health. 8.You should still treat yourself. Within reason, your entire life does not need to stop because you are getting divorced. 9.Watching more TV during divorce may actually help. Especially at night, distraction can keep you from spiraling, rereading texts, checking accounts, or obsessing over your case. 10.Keeping the marital home is not always the right decision. If keeping the house leaves you financially strained, walking away from it may ultimately create more stability for you and your children. email us hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com

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  • #247
    September 18 · 29 min

    7 Divorce Mistakes That Make Your Case More Expensive

    Divorce Crash Course If you want more help understanding the divorce process, avoiding expensive mistakes, and knowing what to expect before you make major decisions, check out the Divorce Crash Course. Guided Divorce Meditations For the moments when you’re about to send the email, respond to your ex, or completely lose your shit, our guided meditations are designed to help you calm your nervous system before you make the situation more expensive.Your divorce lawyer may be expensive — but sometimes the thing making your divorce even more expensive is… you. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down the habits that can make a divorce case harder, longer, and more expensive, even when you think you’re being helpful. From trying to run your own legal strategy to rewriting documents with AI, over-emailing your attorney, negotiating with your ex without being prepared, and withholding important information, this episode is basically a loving intervention from your divorce lawyer. Morgan explains why clients sometimes accidentally create more legal work by trying to save money. One major example? Redlining legal documents or using AI to rewrite agreements without understanding whether those changes would actually work in court. That often means your attorney has to undo the work, start over, and spend even more billable time fixing it. Andrea and Morgan also talk about the emotional reason people do this in the first place: divorce is terrifying. When your children, finances, home, and future are involved, it can feel impossible to hand over control to another person. But that fear can push you into micromanaging your lawyer, chasing answers that don’t exist yet, or relying too heavily on AI for legal strategy. You’ll also learn a smarter way to communicate with your attorney, including when to pick up the phone instead of sending a novel-length email, how to comment on a legal document without trying to rewrite it yourself, and the exact kind of question to ask when you’re waiting on opposing counsel and starting to panic. The episode also tackles one of the biggest traps in high-conflict divorce: negotiating directly with your ex when there is a history of control, pressure, or manipulation. Morgan explains when direct negotiation can actually save money — and when it can backfire badly if you go into the conversation without knowing your legal boundaries. And finally: do not hide things from your lawyer. Whether it’s a fight, missing money, an agreement you made directly with your ex, or something you’re embarrassed to admit, your attorney cannot protect you from information they do not have. Morgan explains why withholding key facts can seriously damage your case — and in some situations can even lead an attorney to withdraw from representing you. What You’ll Learn Why trying to be your own divorce lawyer can cost you more money When AI can help during divorce — and when it absolutely should not Why you should not use ChatGPT or Claude as your legal strategist How to communicate with your divorce attorney without racking up unnecessary fees When to call your lawyer instead of sending a long email How to review legal documents without rewriting them yourself What to do when opposing counsel is not responding How to negotiate with your ex without getting pressured into a bad deal Why you need to tell your divorce lawyer the whole truth How fear and anxiety can quietly make your divorce more expensive A Better Way to Follow Up With Your Divorce Lawyer If you’re waiting for a response from opposing counsel, Andrea and Morgan suggest asking something like: “It’s been X amount of time since we heard from opposing counsel. What is a realistic timeframe for a response, and if we don’t hear back by then, what would our next step be?” That gives you information, a timeline, and a plan — without sending your lawyer four emails in one week asking whether they’ve heard anything yet. Divorce, AI, and Your Legal Strategy AI can be incredibly useful for organizing information, brainstorming questions, calming yourself down, or helping you prepare for a conversation. But AI does not know your judge. It does not know your local court. It does not understand the history of your case the way your attorney does. And it may confidently give you an answer that sounds brilliant and is completely wrong for your situation. Use the robot. Just don’t let the robot run your divorce. Resources Divorce Crash Course If you want more help understanding the divorce process, avoiding expensive mistakes, and knowing what to expect before you make major decisions, check out the Divorce Crash Course. Guided Divorce Meditations For the moments when you’re about to send the email, respond to your ex, or completely lose your shit, our guided meditations are designed to help you calm your nervous system before you make the situation more expensive. Our Family Wizard Our Family Wizard is the most respected coparenting app and we seriously want you to consider it. and We are the only podcast that can save you 20% off your first year. Private Community Join our free private community for support from people who actually understand what this process feels like. Mentioned in this episode: Our Family Wizard How Not to Suck at Divorce is proud to be the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of the essentials package. Visit Our Family Wizard to ask your attorney is OFW is right for your family. Our Family Wizard

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  • #246
    September 16 · 23 min

    High-Conflict Divorce Survival Story: The Biggest Lessons Learned

    Going through a high-conflict divorce can make it feel impossible to imagine a life where your phone isn’t constantly lighting up, your nervous system isn’t on high alert, and every day doesn’t bring another crisis. But this episode is proof that there can be an after. Get the Guided Divorce Meditations to help you through these moments when you feel like you are going to lose your sh$t. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea shares the real-life story of a man who spent nine years navigating a brutal high-conflict divorce involving emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, court battles, documentation, and children caught in the middle. Today, his kids are thriving, he has rebuilt his life, and he is in a healthy new marriage. More importantly, he shared what actually helped him survive. Andrea breaks down the lessons from his story, including why you have to stop trying to make irrational behavior make sense, how to document your divorce without allowing it to consume your life, and why preparing for conflict is often more useful than desperately trying to prevent it. They’re also powerful reminders for parents. Your children are watching how you move through difficult situations—not whether you “win” every argument. The way you regulate yourself, build a support system, set boundaries, and respond to chaos teaches them how to survive hard things, too. And perhaps the biggest lesson: do not wait until your divorce is over to start rebuilding your life. Create new routines. Make new traditions with your kids. Reconnect with people you love. Find something that belongs only to you. Divorce may be a marathon—but even marathons end. For people dealing with an extremely difficult former spouse, traditional co-parenting may not always be realistic. Andrea also discusses parallel parenting, business-like communication, boundaries, and reducing opportunities for conflict when cooperative co-parenting simply isn’t possible. If you are in the stage of divorce where you genuinely cannot picture your life feeling normal again, this episode is for you. You don't have to believe everything will suddenly become perfect. You just have to believe that this part will not last forever. In This Episode, You’ll Learn How to stop wasting energy trying to understand a high-conflict ex Why you should document everything without living inside the documentation How to prepare for a high-conflict “avalanche” What your kids learn from watching you navigate divorce Why therapy and personal growth can matter more than a courtroom victory How to start rebuilding your life before your divorce is officially over When parallel parenting may work better than traditional co-parenting How boundaries and structured communication can reduce divorce conflict Why examining your own patterns can change what happens after divorce Resources Divorce Crash Course If you’re overwhelmed by the divorce process and afraid of making expensive mistakes, our Divorce Crash Course was created to help you understand what’s coming and make smarter decisions along the way. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course OurFamilyWizard Andrea also discusses how structured co-parenting communication can help reduce the feeling that you are constantly being bombarded by your ex, particularly in high-conflict situations. We are the only podcast that can save you 20% on Our Family Wizard. www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20 And if this episode helped you, follow How Not to Suck at Divorce so the next episode finds you automatically.

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  • #245
    September 11 · 44 min

    Divorce: The Petty Fights That Cost You Thousands. What Top Attorneys Want You to Know...

    Guided Divorce Meditations If you’re stuck in a divorce fight that is making you anxious, angry, or completely unable to think clearly, start here. Our Guided Divorce Meditations are designed for the moments when you need to regulate your nervous system before you respond, negotiate, argue, or make another expensive decision. Divorce Crash Course Going through divorce and wondering what you should fight for, what you should let go, and how to avoid making expensive mistakes? Our Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast and guidebook designed to help you understand the divorce process, make smarter decisions, and avoid costly emotional mistakes. Typically priced at $150, it’s available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. Episode Show Notes People spend thousands of dollars fighting over some truly ridiculous things in divorce. A wooden spoon. A blender. A sixth-grade yearbook. Beanie Babies. Airline miles. Even a tanning bed. And as funny as those stories sound, there is a very real reason they matter. Because most of the time, the thing you are fighting over is not actually the thing you are fighting over. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are joined by attorneys Sarah Jacobs and Jamie Berger of Jacobs Berger for a conversation about the emotional and financial cost of digging in during divorce. One client spent hours in court fighting over a wooden spoon named Willy Woo. Another divorce came down to a battle over a blender. And one case required attorneys to spend days sorting through tubs of Beanie Babies because neither side could let them go. The stories are absurd. The behavior behind them is not. Divorce Can Turn Small Things Into Expensive Battles When you are going through divorce, emotion can completely distort value. An object may be worth $100, but suddenly it represents your marriage, your history, your independence, your power, or your need to finally “win.” That is where people start spending far more in attorney fees than the thing they are fighting over is actually worth. In the episode, Andrea points out that the fight over one wooden spoon likely cost thousands of dollars in legal fees alone. And that is exactly why divorce strategy matters. Before you dig in, you have to ask yourself: What is this actually worth? Not emotionally. Financially. The Real Problem May Be Control Sometimes the fight is not about property at all. Morgan explains that many of these so-called “squirrel issues” ultimately come down to control. When someone feels like they have lost control of their life, their finances, their family, or the divorce process itself, they may try to regain that feeling of control by pushing the other person’s buttons. Sarah adds that fear can drive the same behavior: fear of change, fear of being alone, fear of losing the life you knew, and fear of what comes next. That means the blender may not be about the blender. The yearbook may not be about the yearbook. And the airline miles may not be about the airline miles. Sometimes the fight itself has become a way to stay connected to the relationship, hold onto control, or avoid confronting the much bigger reality that the marriage is ending. Principle Has a Price Tag One of the strongest lines in this episode comes from Jamie: Principle has a price tag. If you are fighting over something purely because you believe you are right, you need to understand what that principle is going to cost you. That cost may be financial. It may also be emotional. You can absolutely decide that something matters enough to fight for. But that decision should be intentional—not reactive. Jamie recommends being honest with yourself and with your attorney about what truly matters to you and why. Treat Divorce Like a Business Transaction Morgan’s advice is simple: do the math. Take the emotion out of the issue for a moment and write down the actual numbers. What is the item worth? What would it cost to replace? How many hours will your attorney spend fighting over it? How much will those hours cost? What are you potentially giving up in order to get it? Sometimes seeing those numbers on paper is enough to change your perspective. That does not mean divorce is emotionless. It means your decisions should not be controlled by those emotions. Give Your Attorney the “Shark Tank” Pitch Sarah offers another test: If you are determined to fight for something, explain why it matters in a way that would actually sound reasonable to a judge. Sell the argument. Explain the value. Explain what you are willing to give up in exchange. If you cannot make the case convincingly to your own attorney, you may want to reconsider whether this is really the hill you want to die on. And that matters beyond the object itself. Being unreasonable about a relatively small issue can affect how your position is perceived when the court is dealing with things that matter much more—support, custody, property division, or settlement. Ask Yourself What This Will Matter Five Years From Now This may be the most useful perspective shift in the entire episode. Five years from now, are you going to care who got the blender? Are you really going to remember the airline miles? Will winning the fight over a piece of furniture have made your post-divorce life meaningfully better? Probably not. Andrea shares her own experience of losing a baby blanket she had slept with since birth—something she once believed she could never live without. A decade later, she is still standing. That is not to minimize the emotional meaning of possessions. It is to remind you that you are capable of letting go. Three Questions to Ask Before You Fight Before you spend another dollar arguing over something in your divorce, do three things. First, ask yourself why this matters so much. Second, do the math and compare the value of the item to the cost of fighting for it. Third, if you still want it, make the case. Explain why it matters, what it is worth, and what you are willing to give up to get it. If you cannot answer those questions clearly, it may not be worth the fight. Because getting divorced is already expensive enough. You do not need to make it more expensive just to prove a point. In This Episode Andrea, Morgan, Sarah, and Jamie discuss ridiculous divorce fights, how emotional attachment can drive up legal fees, why control and fear fuel unnecessary conflict, when possessions really are worth negotiating over, how mediation can help rein in a case, and how to make smarter financial decisions during divorce. They also tackle one critical question: Is this thing actually valuable—or are you just trying to win? SEO Keywords divorce mistakes, expensive divorce mistakes, what to fight for in divorce, divorce legal fees, divorce strategy, fighting over assets in divorce, divorce property division, emotional divorce decisions, high conflict divorce, divorce settlement strategy, divorce mediation, divorce attorney fees, divorce negotiation tips, divorce financial mistakes, dividing property in divorce

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  • #244
    September 9 · 15 min

    Divorce & Narcissistic Manipulation: How to Stop Taking the Bait

    Need Help Calming Your Nervous System? Try our Guided Divorce Meditations, created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety, anger and overwhelm are taking over. Use them before responding to a triggering text, before a difficult conversation, before court, before mediation—or anytime you need help getting out of your head and back into control. Divorce Crash Course Going through divorce and have no idea what you’re supposed to be doing next? Start with our Divorce Crash Course—a private podcast and guidebook designed to help you understand the divorce process, avoid expensive mistakes, and feel a whole lot less lost. Typically priced at $150, it’s available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. High-conflict people—and especially manipulative, narcissistic exes—can have an incredible ability to get inside your head. One text, one email, one strange interaction at school pickup can completely derail your nervous system if you let it. And during divorce, that matters. Because when you are already emotionally exhausted, stressed, angry and running on fumes, that is exactly when you are most likely to make a bad decision. You fire off the text. You respond to the email. You call your attorney while completely dysregulated. You snap at your kids. You take the bait. In this mini episode, Andrea talks about what happens when a high-conflict ex triggers you and why your first job is not to win, explain, defend or react. Your first job is to recognize that you are triggered and give yourself a grown-up timeout. And that is where STFU comes in. No, not that STFU. This one stands for: S — Stop Recognize what is happening before you react. T — Take Space Get out of the immediate situation long enough to regulate yourself. F — Find Your Goal Ask yourself what you actually want to accomplish in that moment. U — Utilize a Resource Call a friend. Talk to your therapist. Go for a walk. Fold laundry. Clean the kitchen. Listen to music. Or use one of our Guided Divorce Meditations to help calm your nervous system and move through the anxiety, anger and overwhelm before you do something you regret. Andrea also talks about splitting, a manipulation tactic often seen in high-conflict dynamics. Splitting can push you away from the very people who are trying to support you—your friends, family, therapist, attorney or partner. And when you are already worn down by divorce, it becomes even easier to start taking your stress out on those people. That is exactly why emotional regulation matters so much during a high-conflict divorce. The goal is not to never get triggered. You will. The goal is to catch yourself before that trigger starts making decisions for you. And if you are in one of those moments where your brain is spinning, your heart is racing and you feel like you are about to absolutely lose it, this is also exactly what our Guided Divorce Meditations were created for. They are short, practical tools you can use when divorce anxiety, anger or panic is taking over and you need help getting yourself back to baseline. Because sometimes the best thing you can do for your case, your kids and your own sanity is simple: Stop. Take space. Find your goal. Utilize a resource. Divorce is a marathon. Protect your energy. Protect your judgment. Protect the relationships that matter to you. And when a high-conflict ex tries to pull you into the chaos? Do not take the bait. In This Episode Andrea talks about dealing with a high-conflict or narcissistic ex, recognizing emotional manipulation during divorce, avoiding reactive communication, managing divorce triggers, understanding splitting, using the STFU method to regulate yourself, and knowing when to step away before making a costly mistake. Need Help Calming Your Nervous System? Try our Guided Divorce Meditations, created specifically for the moments when divorce anxiety, anger and overwhelm are taking over. Use them before responding to a triggering text, before a difficult conversation, before court, before mediation—or anytime you need help getting out of your head and back into control. Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss an episode, and leave us a review if the show is helping you. www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck You can do this. You are doing this. And you are going to get through your divorce. high conflict divorce, narcissistic divorce, divorcing a narcissist, narcissistic manipulation in divorce, high conflict ex, divorce triggers, emotional manipulation, toxic ex spouse, divorce anxiety, emotional regulation during divorce, co parenting with a narcissist, how to respond to a narcissist, divorce meditation, guided divorce meditation, divorce stress, divorce podcast

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  • #243
    September 4 · 26 min

    Divorce and Emotional Endurance: 3 Special Tips to Survive a High-Conflict Divorce

    Divorce and Emotional Endurance: 3 Ways to Survive a High-Conflict Divorce Guided Divorce Meditations for When You’re About to Lose Your Sh$t For the moments when you can’t sleep, when you miss your kids, when you’re worried about money, or just need to get through the next ten minutes. 👉 GET THE GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS HERE Going through a divorce? Start with the Divorce Crash Course. We created the Divorce Crash Course to help you understand the divorce process, communicate smarter with your attorney, avoid expensive mistakes, and make better decisions when your brain is completely overwhelmed. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. 👉 GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE HERE If you're going through a high-conflict divorce, you already know that the exhaustion isn't just coming from court dates and legal bills. It's the texts. The emails. The accusations. The schedule changes. The constant wondering what your ex is going to do next. And eventually, your nervous system starts living like there's an emergency around every corner. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill talk about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention during divorce: emotional endurance. Because when you're dealing with a difficult, unpredictable, or high-conflict spouse, you cannot control everything they throw at you. But you can get better at protecting your energy, responding strategically, and recovering when something knocks you sideways. We're breaking down three practical ways to emotionally survive a high-conflict divorce without letting it take over your entire life. 1. Build a Tiny Divorce Decision-Making Team One of the biggest mistakes people make during divorce? Making everybody in their life part of their divorce. Your friends. Your sister. Your neighbor. The moms at school. The guy at the dry cleaner. When you're scared and overwhelmed, it is completely natural to want to tell everyone what is happening. You're looking for reassurance, advice, validation—or sometimes you just need the insanity to come out of your mouth. But every new person you involve comes with another opinion. And more opinions can mean more anxiety, more confusion, and more second-guessing. Instead, build a very small divorce team. That might include: Your divorce attorney for legal strategy A therapist for emotional processing One trusted friend who can listen when you need to lose your mind for five minutes Other professionals your attorney recommends based on your case Everybody else? They can still be part of your life. They just don't need to be part of your divorce strategy. And sometimes the healthiest thing you can say when a friend asks about your divorce is: "It's a complete shit show. Anyway, where did you get that purse?" Your brain desperately needs conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with divorce. 2. Stop Expecting Fairness From a High-Conflict Ex This one is HARD. When somebody behaves irrationally, unfairly, or cruelly during divorce, your brain keeps waiting for the moment when they finally become reasonable. You think: Surely they'll realize this is hurting the kids. Surely they'll see how ridiculous this is. Surely we can agree on this one thing. Maybe. But if you're divorcing a genuinely high-conflict person, waiting for fairness can drain every ounce of emotional endurance you have. As Morgan explains in this episode, "fair" is not necessarily the legal standard—and your definition of fair probably isn't your spouse's definition of fair anyway. So stop making fairness the goal. Instead, focus on: Strategy. What does your attorney recommend? Enforceability. Can the agreement actually be enforced? Closure. What gets this divorce finished so you can move forward with your life? You may also experience something incredibly confusing with a high-conflict spouse: the roller coaster. One day they're reasonable. You think: Holy shit. Maybe we're finally turning a corner. And 24 hours later? They're completely off the rails again. That doesn't mean you did something wrong. It means you need to stop using their behavior as the barometer for whether your divorce is going well. Take the reasonable moments when they come. Use them strategically. But don't build your emotional stability around whether your ex is having a good day. Co-Parenting With a High-Conflict Ex? Use the Right Tools If you are co-parenting through even a moderately high-conflict divorce, organization and documentation matter. That's why we repeatedly recommend Our Family Wizard. A co-parenting app can help move communication out of chaotic text threads, keep calendars and expenses organized, and create a clearer record of communication. And listeners of How Not to Suck at Divorce can receive a significant discount on the first year of the Essentials package. 👉 LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR FAMILY WIZARD Ask your divorce attorney whether using a co-parenting app proactively makes sense in your case. 3. Create a 20-Minute Recovery Window Something awful happens during your divorce. You receive an email from your attorney. Your ex sends a text. A financial issue appears. A parenting dispute erupts. Your heart starts racing. You're furious. You're scared. And then you do what most of us do: You immediately go back to your life. You jump onto a work call. You pick up the kids. You respond to another email. You start making dinner. But emotionally, you're still standing inside the explosion that just happened. That's why we want you to create what we call a recovery window. Give yourself approximately 20 minutes before responding or making another important decision. During those 20 minutes: Take a walk. Sit somewhere quiet. Go sit in your car. Cry. Take a shower. Listen to music. Drink cold water. Try a grounding exercise. Listen to one of our guided divorce meditations. But here's the most important part: Do not respond yet. Don't email your attorney. Don't text your spouse. Don't fire off a message because you're furious. Don't start reading five more divorce emails while you're already activated. Recover first. Then decide what actually deserves a response. Emotional Endurance Does NOT Mean Becoming Numb We are not telling you to stop feeling. You are going to get triggered during divorce. You are going to have terrible days. You are going to receive messages that make your stomach drop. And you may occasionally want to throw your phone directly into Lake Michigan. You're human. Emotional endurance means becoming more intentional about: Who gets your energy. What expectations you let go of. How quickly you react. How you recover after something rattles you. The goal isn't to become immune to your divorce. The goal is to stop allowing one awful text at 9:07 a.m. to hijack the next twelve hours of your life. Remember: Divorce Is a Marathon We say this constantly because you need to hear it constantly: Divorce is a marathon. It is not a sprint. Some days you'll manage it day by day. Other days? Hour by hour. That's okay. You don't get a ribbon for getting divorced faster. There is no trophy waiting at the courthouse for the person who endured the most abuse without taking a break. Pace yourself. Protect your energy. Use the right people. Use the right tools. Stop waiting for an unreasonable person to suddenly become reasonable. And when something knocks you down, give your brain time to recover before deciding what happens next. You may feel like you're going to battle this person forever. You won't. The other side may feel impossible to see right now, but it is there. And on the days when you think: I cannot do this. Remember: You already are. You've got this, my friends. And we've got you. More Divorce Support 🎧 Guided Divorce Meditations: Need help calming your nervous system after a difficult divorce moment? Grab our guided divorce meditations here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guides/p/divorce-guided-meditations 💥 Divorce Crash Course: Learn what you need to know before expensive divorce mistakes happen. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course 📱 Our Family Wizard: Make co-parenting communication and organization easier. www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20 In this episode: High-conflict divorce, emotional endurance during divorce, how to deal with a difficult ex, co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, divorce stress, divorce anxiety, divorce emotional regulation, communicating with your divorce attorney, divorce boundaries, co-parenting apps, Our Family Wizard, divorce recovery, surviving a difficult divorce, divorce advice for women and men, and how to protect your mental health during divorce.

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  • #242
    September 2 · 14 min

    Divorce Stories That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Own Divorce

    🧘 DIVORCE MEDITATIONS Divorce can make your nervous system feel like it’s running a marathon with no finish line. Our Divorce Meditations are here when you need to calm your brain, stop the spiral, and give yourself a few minutes to breathe. 👉 Listen to the Divorce Meditations here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guides/p/divorce-guided-meditations 💥 THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE If you’re going through divorce and terrified of making an expensive mistake, start here. The Divorce Crash Course gives you the information we wish every person had before making major decisions in divorce — including how to save money on attorneys, understand your finances, navigate custody and parenting agreements, and avoid mistakes that can cost you thousands. Typically priced at 150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. 👉 Get the Divorce Crash Course here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Think you’re sucking at divorce? Good news: there are people who have sucked at it significantly harder. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea brings you some of the strangest, funniest and most unbelievable divorce stories we’ve ever heard — involving a donated kidney, ex-in-laws buried in a backyard, a six-pound catfish named Pinky, and one extremely smart ex-wife who made sure a future Nobel Prize was covered in her divorce settlement. Yes. All of that happens in one episode. But underneath the ridiculous divorce stories is something we actually want you to remember: Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. You cannot spend every hour of every day thinking about your divorce, answering emails, talking to your attorney, worrying about your kids, analyzing your ex, making decisions and trying to predict what happens next. Your brain needs a break. Sometimes that means taking a walk. Sometimes it means binge-watching something completely stupid. And sometimes it means listening to stories about someone arguing over a giant catfish during their divorce so you can remember that maybe — just maybe — you're doing better than you think. In this episode: One man who reportedly wanted compensation for a kidney he donated to his wife The divorce dispute involving urns and headstones in the backyard The tragic tale of Pinky, the six-pound divorce catfish The incredibly savvy divorce settlement that gave an ex-wife half of a future Nobel Prize Why you don't have to make every divorce decision immediately Why taking mental breaks during divorce is not selfish How to pace yourself during a long or high-conflict divorce Why laughter can actually be part of getting through this And why your goal isn't to get through divorce the fastest — it's to get through it as healthy and whole as possible YOUR REMINDER TODAY: You are allowed to take a day off from divorce. You are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to watch garbage television. You are allowed to stop thinking about your ex for five freaking minutes. And you do not need to win an award for being the fastest person ever to get divorced. When you think you cannot do this, remember: You already are doing it. Your win is getting to the other side — and giving yourself the opportunity to build the healthiest, happiest next chapter of your life. We are so freaking proud of you. You've got this. And we've got you. ⭐ FOLLOW HOW NOT TO SUCK AT DIVORCE If this episode gave you a laugh when you desperately needed one, please follow the show and leave us a rating and review! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck And go back through the How Not to Suck at Divorce library — we have episodes covering divorce finances, custody, co-parenting, attorneys, mediation, high-conflict divorce, emotional recovery and pretty much every WTF moment that can happen along the way. SEO KEYWORDS divorce stories, funny divorce stories, divorce humor, getting through divorce, divorce emotional support, divorce burnout, surviving divorce, high conflict divorce, divorce stress, divorce self care, weird divorce cases, crazy divorce stories, divorce settlement, divorce finances, divorce advice for women, divorce advice, coping with divorce, life after divorce, divorce podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce

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  • #241
    August 28 · 37 min

    Divorce and Hidden Money: What to do if You Suspect Hidden Crypto?

    Divorce and Hidden Cryptocurrency: How to Find Crypto Your Spouse May Be Hiding 🧘 DIVORCE MEDITATIONS Divorce can make your brain feel like it’s running 24/7. Our Divorce Meditations were created to help calm your nervous system, quiet the spiral, and get you through the moments when everything feels like too much. Listen to the Divorce Meditations here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guides/p/divorce-guided-meditations 💥 THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE If you’re overwhelmed by divorce and terrified of making an expensive mistake, start here. The Divorce Crash Course gives you the information we wish every person had BEFORE making major decisions in divorce — including how to save money on attorneys, understand your finances, navigate custody and parenting agreements, and avoid the mistakes that can cost you thousands. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. 👉 Get the Divorce Crash Course here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course What happens if you think your spouse is hiding money in cryptocurrency during your divorce? First: don’t panic. And definitely don’t assume crypto is impossible to find. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are joined by Jason Wright, Managing Director in the Disputes, Compliance & Investigations group at Stout, to break cryptocurrency down for the rest of us — and explain exactly what can happen when crypto becomes part of a divorce. We’re starting with the basics: What the hell is cryptocurrency? What’s a crypto wallet? What’s a private key or seed phrase? What are Coinbase, Kraken and other crypto exchanges actually doing? Then we get into the question that matters during divorce: Can your spouse actually hide marital money in crypto — and can you find it? Jason explains why cryptocurrency isn’t necessarily as anonymous or untraceable as people think, how forensic experts can follow transactions on the blockchain, and what financial clues might indicate that money has been moved into cryptocurrency. We discuss: • How cryptocurrency differs from traditional bank and investment accounts • Crypto exchanges like Coinbase, Kraken and Gemini • The difference between custodial and non-custodial crypto wallets • What private keys and seed phrases actually mean • Crypto ATMs — yes, apparently those exist • Transfers and cash withdrawals that could signal cryptocurrency activity • How forensic experts trace crypto transactions • Why the blockchain can actually help investigators follow money • When your divorce attorney may need to subpoena an exchange • How to decide whether pursuing suspected crypto is financially worth it • Cryptocurrency and dissipation of marital assets • What happens when someone loses the password to a crypto wallet • Why hidden crypto may still be discoverable after divorce • Why you should NOT confront your spouse if you suspect they’re hiding cryptocurrency One of the biggest takeaways from this episode? You do not need to become a cryptocurrency expert. If something doesn’t look right, gather the financial information you have lawful access to, document what you’re seeing, and bring it to your divorce attorney. Let your attorney decide whether additional investigation, subpoenas or a forensic expert are necessary. And if your lawyer doesn’t have much experience dealing with cryptocurrency in divorce? Ask them. You have every right to know whether the team handling your divorce understands the assets that may be involved. Because going on an unnecessary financial “truffle hunt” can cost you money — but walking away from tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars that should have been part of your marital estate can cost you a whole lot more. ABOUT OUR GUEST Jason Wright is a Managing Director in the Disputes, Compliance & Investigations group at Stout. He works with attorneys and clients on complex financial investigations, including tracing cryptocurrency and digital assets. We’ll link Jason’s information below so you and/or your attorney can contact him if his expertise is needed. Jason Wright / Stout: https://www.stout.com/en/professionals/jason-wright ⭐ LOVE HOW NOT TO SUCK AT DIVORCE? Please take a minute to rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Reviews help more people going through divorce find the show when they need it most. www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck And make sure you’re following How Not to Suck at Divorce so you never miss an episode. We’re here twice a week with full episodes, mini episodes, legal education, emotional support and the information you need to get through divorce without losing your mind — or your money. You’ve got this. And we’ve got you. SEO KEYWORDS cryptocurrency divorce, crypto divorce, hidden assets in divorce, hiding money during divorce, hidden cryptocurrency divorce, Bitcoin divorce, crypto assets divorce, finding hidden money in divorce, financial discovery divorce, forensic accountant divorce, cryptocurrency marital assets, tracing crypto assets, hidden marital assets, divorce financial investigation, spouse hiding money, divorce attorney cryptocurrency, blockchain divorce, crypto wallet divorce, dissipation of marital assets, divorce finances Mentioned in this episode: Need Extra Cash? Why not see how much Worthy can get you for your ring? It's a risk free process- and Worthy works with you to get the best price possible. Get an extra $100 if your ring sells for more than $1500. https://vip.worthy.com/divorcepod/?utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=how_not_to_suck_at_divorce Our Family Wizard How Not to Suck at Divorce is proud to be the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of the essentials package. Visit Our Family Wizard to ask your attorney is OFW is right for your family. Our Family Wizard

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  • #240
    August 14 · 26 min

    Divorce Anxiety: How to Stop Treating Everything Like an Emergency...at 2am

    Divorce Keeping You Up at Night? How to Stop the 2 A.M. Spiral DIVORCE CRASH COURSE: Divorce is expensive. Making avoidable mistakes makes it even more expensive. Our Divorce Crash Course gives you the information we wish every person had before and during divorce—from choosing an attorney and understanding your finances to custody, parenting agreements and the mistakes that can cost you thousands. Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink. [GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE HERE] NEW: GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS: When your brain won't shut up about your divorce, we made something specifically for that. Our Guided Divorce Meditations are short, on-demand meditations for the moments divorce hits hardest—including when you can't sleep, you're worried about money or your kids, you're spiraling about your marriage, or you're struggling with a custody transition. [GET THE GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS HERE] If divorce is keeping you awake at night, you're definitely not alone. You go to bed exhausted, but the second everything gets quiet, your brain decides it's time to solve your entire divorce. What if my ex is hiding money? What if something happens with the kids? What does that email from my attorney mean? What if this goes to trial? Did I remember to send that document? Should I respond to that text? What if I can't afford this? Suddenly it's 2:34 a.m., you're wide awake, and you're trying to solve problems that probably cannot be solved from your bed. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are talking about divorce anxiety, insomnia and what to do when you can't stop thinking about your divorce at night. And we're giving you an actual strategy. Morgan explains how to separate the things that genuinely require action from the things that feel urgent because your anxious brain is filling in the blanks. Andrea shares why losing sleep during divorce can make an already difficult situation worse—and potentially affect the decisions you're making the next day. The goal isn't to pretend everything is fine. It's learning to recognize what needs your action—and what needs your inaction. In This Episode You'll Learn Why divorce anxiety can feel so much worse at night What to do when you wake up worrying about your divorce The pen-and-paper strategy Morgan recommends for getting worries out of your head How to determine whether something actually requires action Why you should think twice before emailing your divorce attorney late at night How to create a running list of questions for your attorney Why you should draft—but NOT send—emotional late-night emails How late-night texts and emails from your ex can destroy your sleep Why setting communication boundaries with your co-parent matters How to use OurFamilyWizard notification settings more strategically Why sometimes doing absolutely nothing is the smartest action you can take What to tell yourself when your brain refuses to shut down Why resting can be enough when you can't force yourself to fall asleep How changing your environment may help break the cycle when you're lying awake spiraling The 2 A.M. Divorce Brain Dump If you wake up in the middle of the night and your brain is racing, Morgan recommends keeping a pen and paper next to your bed. Write down everything that's occupying your brain—not just the divorce stuff. Then go through the list and ask yourself: Can I actually take action on this tonight? Or: Do I have any control over the outcome of this tonight? If the answer is no, cross it out for tonight. If the answer is yes, decide whether it truly requires action immediately or whether you can make a plan to handle it tomorrow. Most things can wait until morning. And if it's something you want to discuss with your divorce attorney, write it down or put the email in your drafts. Do not hit send at 2 a.m. Your rested morning brain may have a very different—and considerably shorter—email to send. Stop Letting Your Ex Into Your Bedroom Not literally. We have an entirely different podcast episode for that problem. We're talking about your phone. If your ex tends to send inflammatory texts, emails or co-parenting messages late at night, you do not have to allow those notifications to dictate when your nervous system goes into overdrive. Morgan recommends setting boundaries around when you receive and read messages. Andrea also points out that if you're using OurFamilyWizard, you can choose when you receive your daily notifications. Your ex's 10:30 p.m. message does not automatically become your 10:31 p.m. emergency. And it goes both ways. Don't send your ex angry late-night messages either. Aside from destroying everyone's sleep, creating a documented pattern of bad communication is probably not something you want your attorneys—or potentially a judge—reading later. What Needs Action—and What Needs Inaction? We often divide our problems into two categories: Things I can control. Things I can't control. Andrea offers a different way to think about it during divorce: What needs my action? And: What needs my inaction? Sometimes inaction is an active decision. You can recognize that something is scary, painful or uncertain without trying to solve it tonight. You aren't pretending the problem doesn't exist. You're deciding: Not now. Tomorrow, you can reopen the box. Tonight, your job is to rest. When Your Brain Still Won't Shut Up Sometimes you've written everything down. You've made tomorrow's list. You've silenced your notifications. You've decided what can wait. And your brain is still going. That's exactly why we created our Guided Divorce Meditations. Earlier this week, we released one of the meditations completely free on the podcast: For When You Can't Sleep. It's about 10 minutes long, and Andrea walks you through putting those thoughts and fears somewhere safe for the night—not throwing them away, not pretending they don't matter, but giving yourself permission to stop carrying them until morning. The complete Guided Divorce Meditation library is $20 and includes meditations created specifically for different moments of divorce when you need help quieting the noise. [GET THE GUIDED DIVORCE MEDITATIONS HERE] Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course Guided Divorce Meditations OurFamilyWizard Soberlink Subscribe, Rate & Review If How Not to Suck at Divorce is helping you get through your divorce a little smarter, calmer and more prepared, please subscribe and leave us a review. It helps more people find the show and allows us to keep creating resources that actually help you through this process. Rate the podcast: www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck And remember: you are going to get through this. One step at a time. One day at a time. And sometimes, one hour at a time. You've got this. And we've got you. SEO Keywords divorce anxiety, can't sleep during divorce, divorce insomnia, divorce keeping me awake, how to sleep during divorce, anxiety during divorce, divorce stress, divorce anxiety at night, divorce meditation, guided divorce meditation, meditation for divorce anxiety, divorce sleep meditation, how to stop thinking about divorce, divorce overthinking, divorce attorney advice, communicating with ex during divorce, co-parenting communication, divorce lawyer communication, high conflict divorce, divorce mental health, coping with divorce, divorce podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce

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  • #239
    August 12 · 11 min

    Divorce Anxiety Keeping You Awake? A Guided Meditation for Sleep

    Divorce Anxiety Keeping You Awake? A Guided Meditation for Sleep Get the complete Guided Divorce Meditation collection here. Can't sleep because of your divorce? This episode is for you. When you're going through a divorce, nighttime can be brutal. The house gets quiet, the distractions stop, and suddenly your brain decides it's the perfect time to think about everything. Money. Your kids. Your ex. That text you received earlier. What your attorney said. What you wish you'd said. What happens next. What went wrong in your marriage. What your life is going to look like six months from now. And somehow you're supposed to sleep. In this special mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea is sharing one of our brand-new Guided Divorce Meditations completely free. This meditation was created specifically for the nights when divorce anxiety won't let you sleep. Put in your earbuds, get comfortable, and press play. You don't need to figure out your entire divorce tonight. You don't need to solve tomorrow's problems from your bed. Right now, you just need to get through this moment and give your brain and body a chance to rest. Get the Complete Guided Divorce Meditation Collection If this meditation helps, we've created an entire library of Guided Divorce Meditations for the specific moments during divorce that can feel completely overwhelming. These aren't generic meditations. They're designed for the actual thoughts, fears and situations that come with divorce—worrying about money, worrying about your children, replaying your marriage, dealing with the emotions around custody transitions, and the moments when your mind simply will not stop spiraling. We created these for you because sometimes you don't need another piece of divorce advice. Sometimes you just need someone to help you get through the next ten minutes. And if there's a part of divorce you're struggling with that we haven't created something for yet, tell us. Reach out and let us know what you need. Everything we create at How Not to Suck at Divorce is designed to make this process a little less overwhelming. You can do this. You're already doing it. One step at a time. One day at a time. You've got this...and we've got you. And if you need more support with action steps, our Divorce Crash Course is available for you right here.

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  • #238
    August 7 · 29 min

    Divorce Myths That Could Be Costing You Thousands

    🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC) Thinking about divorce or already in it? Before you make a decision that could cost you thousands, get the information you wish someone had given you from the very beginning. Get the Divorce Crash Course (DCC) today. Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild afterward, this course can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartbreak. Episode Description There are a LOT of divorce myths out there. And believing the wrong one isn't just annoying—it can give you completely unrealistic expectations and potentially cost you a whole lot of money. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are busting some of the biggest divorce myths they hear over and over again. Should you be concerned if your divorce attorney is friendly with your ex's attorney? (Spoiler: probably the opposite.) Are you actually going to end up in a dramatic divorce trial where a judge finally hears your story and tells you that you were right? Do you need a divorce coach because someone on Instagram told you that you do? And should your attorney be responding to every email immediately? Andrea and Morgan also tackle one of the biggest misconceptions about hiring a divorce attorney: that a "simple divorce" means you don't need to think carefully about the level of attorney—and level of service—you hire. Morgan explains why having attorneys who can work well together can actually reduce posturing, speed up negotiations and potentially save clients money. She also shares that in her own practice, she estimates 5% or fewer of her cases actually reach a full trial—and why settlement is generally preferable when it's possible. This episode is about separating what divorce looks like on TV, Instagram and in your imagination from what actually happens—and helping you make smarter decisions with your time, money and legal strategy. Divorce Myths We're Busting MYTH #1: Your attorney shouldn't be friendly with opposing counsel. Actually, a good professional relationship between attorneys can make negotiations more efficient and reduce unnecessary fighting—and unnecessary legal fees. MYTH #2: Your divorce is probably going to trial. A hearing isn't the same thing as a full-blown trial. Morgan estimates that 5% or fewer of her own cases reach a full trial, in part because trial is expensive and ultimately puts major decisions about your life into the hands of a judge. MYTH #3: You need a divorce coach. Not necessarily. Morgan's advice is to involve your attorney before adding a coach to your divorce team and to make sure anyone you hire has appropriate credentials and a clearly defined role. Andrea and Morgan also distinguish this from a collaborative divorce where coaching may already be part of the process. MYTH #4: Your divorce attorney should always respond immediately. Your situation may feel like an emergency—and emotionally, it absolutely may be—but law firms have to triage truly urgent situations. Morgan explains what she considers reasonable communication expectations and why this is something you should ask about before hiring an attorney. MYTH #5: A "simple divorce" doesn't require a great attorney. Andrea and Morgan explain why you should hire based not only on the conflict in your case, but also on the level of communication and service you need. And that includes evaluating the entire firm—not just the attorney sitting across from you during the consultation. In This Episode You'll Learn Why your attorney having lunch with opposing counsel can actually be a GOOD thing How attorney relationships can affect your legal bill Why most divorces don't end in a full-blown trial Why going before a judge probably won't give you the vindication you're imagining When a divorce coach can help—and when another voice could complicate your legal strategy What you can reasonably expect when communicating with your divorce attorney The questions to ask about response times before hiring a law firm Why the staff and client experience matter when choosing an attorney Why "simple divorce" doesn't necessarily mean you should choose the cheapest lawyer Key Takeaways Your divorce attorney being friendly with opposing counsel does not mean they're "in cahoots." In many cases, trust and professional respect between attorneys can mean less posturing, faster negotiations and fewer billable hours. Don't build your entire emotional strategy around finally getting your day in court. As Morgan explains, even clients who technically "win" at trial can walk away feeling like they've lost after the financial and emotional cost of getting there. And when you're interviewing divorce attorneys, ask very specific questions about communication: What's your normal response time? Who will I hear from if you're unavailable? What should I expect from your staff? If an attorney can't clearly answer those questions during the consultation, Andrea says to pay attention—that may tell you something about what the client experience will look like later. Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course OurFamilyWizard Soberlink How Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community Divorce Guided Meditations — coming soon! Subscribe, Rate & Review If How Not to Suck at Divorce is helping you get through your divorce a little smarter, calmer and more prepared, please subscribe and leave us a review. It helps more people find the show—and allows us to keep bringing you honest conversations about what divorce is actually like. www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck And remember: divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days you're taking it day by day. Other days it's hour by hour. But it will end. You've got this. And we've got you. SEO Keywords divorce myths, divorce attorney advice, divorce lawyer, divorce trial, divorce coach, choosing a divorce attorney, divorce lawyer communication, divorce settlement, divorce mediation, divorce legal fees, divorce mistakes, family law attorney, divorce advice, divorce podcast, how to choose a divorce lawyer, how much does divorce cost Mentioned in this episode: Our Family Wizard How Not to Suck at Divorce is proud to be the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of the essentials package. Visit Our Family Wizard to ask your attorney is OFW is right for your family. Our Family Wizard

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  • #237
    August 5 · 9 min

    Divorce Co-Parenting: Want a Better Relationship With Your Ex? Do This.

    Want Your Ex to Behave Better? Try This Instead 🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC) Thinking about divorce or already in it? Before you make a decision that could cost you thousands, get the information you wish someone had given you from the very beginning. Get the Divorce Crash Course (DCC) today. Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild afterward, this course can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartbreak. Episode Description It may sound completely backwards, but sometimes the fastest way to improve your co-parenting relationship is to thank your ex. No, this isn't about pretending they're Parent of the Year. It's not about rewarding bad behavior or forgetting everything they've put you through. It's about understanding something surprisingly simple: people tend to repeat behaviors that are acknowledged. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea explains why a genuine "thank you" after your co-parent does something thoughtful, flexible, or simply doesn't make your life harder can change the tone of your relationship. From switching weekends without a fight to communicating well about the kids, small moments of appreciation can reinforce the behaviors that make co-parenting easier for everyone. If your goal is raising healthy kids—not winning against your ex—this simple mindset shift could make your divorce a little less stressful. In This Episode Why positive reinforcement works on adults, too The psychology behind encouraging better co-parenting Why appreciation doesn't mean approval When you should (and shouldn't) thank your co-parent How one sentence can reduce conflict Why the goal is healthy kids—not keeping score How changing the tone of communication benefits everyone Why kindness can be a surprisingly effective co-parenting strategy Key Takeaways You don't have to like your ex to reinforce good behavior. Appreciation is different from excusing past behavior. Positive reinforcement can encourage healthier communication. Your kids benefit when co-parenting becomes less adversarial. Sometimes the strongest strategy is changing the tone—not escalating the conflict. Small moments of kindness can create meaningful shifts over time. Memorable Quotes "We repeat positive behaviors that get acknowledged." "This isn't being weak. This is strategy." "The goal isn't to win against your ex. The goal is to raise healthy kids." "You don't need to write them a haiku. Just say thank you." Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course (DCC) OurFamilyWizard Soberlink Divorce Guided Meditations (Coming Soon) How Not to Suck at Divorce Community Subscribe & Review If this episode made you think differently about co-parenting, we'd love your support. Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little more peace in their co-parenting relationship. Your reviews help us reach more people navigating divorce, and we truly appreciate every single one. www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck SEO Keywords divorce, co-parenting, co-parent communication, divorce podcast, positive reinforcement, parenting after divorce, co-parenting tips, divorce advice, parenting plan, family law, healthy co-parenting, conflict after divorce, raising kids after divorce, divorced parents, divorce support

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  • #236
    July 31 · 29 min

    Divorce: When Being Too Nice Can Cost You Everything

    🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC) Thinking about divorce or already in it? Before you make a decision that could cost you thousands, get the information you wish someone had given you from the very beginning. Get the Divorce Crash Course (DCC) today. Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild afterward, this course can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartbreak. Episode Description We've all heard the advice: "Be the bigger person." But what happens when being the bigger person turns into giving away your financial security, parenting time, or legal leverage? In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most common—and costly—mistakes people make during divorce: confusing kindness with surrender. They explain why people-pleasers often struggle during negotiations, how manipulative exes exploit "nice" personalities, and why your long-term future matters far more than making today's conflict disappear. Morgan and Andrea also share their powerful THINK framework—a practical decision-making tool to help you slow down before agreeing to anything you'll regret. If you've ever worried about coming across as "mean" during your divorce, this conversation could save you years of regret. In This Episode You'll Learn Why kindness and weakness are not the same thing The hidden cost of being a people pleaser during divorce How manipulative spouses use guilt to get what they want Why short-term peace often creates long-term problems When your attorney should be the one saying "no" How to protect yourself without becoming combative Morgan's THINK framework for making smarter divorce decisions Why leverage matters in divorce negotiations How OurFamilyWizard can reduce manipulation and conflict Why thinking long-term is one of the most important divorce skills you'll ever develop How Not to Suck at Divorce's THINK Framework Before responding to your spouse, pause and THINK: T – Think long-term, not just about today's pain. H – Have a purpose. Know why you're making every decision. I – It's okay to say no. N – Nice isn't the same as fair. K – Keep your leverage. Key Takeaways Divorce is a marathon—not a sprint. Being calm leads to better long-term decisions. Your attorney exists to protect your future, not just settle today's argument. Don't give something away simply because conflict feels uncomfortable. You can be compassionate while maintaining healthy boundaries. Protecting yourself isn't selfish—it's smart. Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course (DCC) OurFamilyWizard Soberlink How Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community Remember friends, we are the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of Our Family Wizard! Head here: www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20 Subscribe & Review If this episode helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every review helps us reach more people navigating one of life's hardest transitions. www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck SEO Keywords divorce advice, divorce negotiation tips, people pleaser divorce, divorce boundaries, divorce strategy, family law, mediation tips, divorce attorney advice, divorce leverage, co-parenting, OurFamilyWizard, divorce settlement, emotional abuse, manipulative spouse, divorce podcast, parenting plan, divorce mistakes, custody negotiations, divorce support, how not to suck at divorce

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  • #235
    July 29 · 15 min

    Divorce: The Most Expensive Word You Can Say to Your Lawyer Is "Okay".

    🚨 Before You Spend Thousands More on Your Divorce... If you're navigating divorce and want to avoid the costly mistakes so many people make, grab our Divorce Crash Course today. Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Inside you'll learn: How to avoid expensive legal mistakes What to expect throughout the divorce process How to communicate more effectively with your attorney The biggest financial pitfalls people don't see coming Practical strategies to save money, reduce stress, and make smarter decisions 👉 Get instant access today: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Divorce: Don't Leave Your Lawyer's Office Confused (It Could Cost You Thousands) Have you ever walked out of your attorney's office, gotten into your car, and suddenly realized... "I don't actually know what we just decided." You're not alone. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most common—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce: pretending to understand or agree with a legal strategy when they really don't. Too many people stay quiet because they're embarrassed to ask questions, don't want to challenge their attorney, or need more time to process what they just heard. Unfortunately, that silence can lead to unnecessary legal fees, poor strategic decisions, and frustration for both you and your lawyer. Andrea and Morgan explain why speaking up isn't being difficult—it's being a smart client. In This Episode, We Discuss: Why so many people leave attorney meetings feeling confused The hidden cost of pretending you understand your legal strategy How to tell your attorney a proposed strategy doesn't feel right Why asking, "What do you think the other side will do next?" is one of the smartest questions you can ask When it's okay to ask for time before making a major legal decision Why changing your mind after your attorney has already started working can become expensive The importance of making sure your attorney's strategy aligns with your personal goals How to ask your lawyer for a recap email after a meeting Why a recurring weekly check-in can actually reduce stress and unnecessary communication Memorable Quotes "You're the driver of the bus. Your lawyer is there to guide you—but the decisions are ultimately yours." "Don't nod your head just because you're afraid to look like you don't understand." "Silence can be one of the most expensive mistakes you make during divorce." Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Join our private divorce community for support and resources. Subscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce so you never miss an episode. If You Enjoyed This Episode... Please leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review and share this episode with someone navigating divorce. It helps more people find practical, trustworthy guidance during one of the hardest seasons of their lives. www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck Connect With Us 🌐 Website: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com 📱 Follow us on social media for daily divorce tips, legal education, and emotional support. @hownottosuckatdivorce @divorcepodcast SEO Keywords divorce attorney communication questions to ask your divorce lawyer divorce legal strategy how to work with your divorce attorney divorce mistakes divorce legal advice family law attorney tips divorce mediation vs litigation saving money during divorce how not to suck at divorce

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  • #234
    July 24 · 20 min

    My Divorce Secret: The Shame I Carried About My Marriage (And Why Pretending Made Everything Worse)

    🎧 Divorce Crash Course Before you hire an attorney—or if you're already in the middle of your divorce—don't miss our Divorce Crash Course. Learn how to avoid the costly mistakes that can impact your finances, custody, and future. Typically priced at $150, it's available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters: Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. 👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Episode Description When people think about divorce, they often assume the shame comes after the marriage ends. For Andrea, it began years earlier. In this deeply personal solo episode, Andrea opens up about the emotional weight of pretending everything was okay while privately living in a lonely, disconnected marriage. She shares the shame of hiding a sexless marriage, constantly editing her reality to protect appearances, and questioning her own worth because of what was happening behind closed doors. She also explores the quieter forms of emotional control that can slowly erode your confidence, why shame thrives in silence, and how years of living in survival mode affected both her mind and body. If you've ever smiled through the pain, convinced everyone your marriage was fine, or wondered if something was wrong with you because your relationship felt so different from everyone else's, this episode is for you. You are not alone. In This Episode You'll Learn: Why shame often begins long before divorce The emotional toll of pretending your marriage is okay How loneliness can become internalized as self-worth The hidden impact of emotional control and chronic stress Why many people question their own reality in unhealthy relationships The connection between living in survival mode and your mental health How shame keeps us silent—and why speaking the truth is the first step toward healing Why your circumstances do not define your worth Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course Our Family Wizard Soberlink How Not to Suck at Divorce Community Connect With Us 🌐 Website: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com 💬 Join our private community for support, resources, and conversations with people who truly understand what you're going through. 📧 Questions or episode ideas? Email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com If This Episode Helped You... Please take a moment to follow the show, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. You never know who is quietly pretending everything is okay. SEO Keywords divorce shame, shame after divorce, emotional abuse, emotionally abusive marriage, controlling marriage, surviving emotional abuse, loneliness in marriage, sexless marriage, divorce healing, panic disorder after divorce, trauma and divorce, unhealthy marriage, emotionally controlling relationship, divorce podcast, high-conflict marriage, mental health after divorce, how not to suck at divorce, healing from divorce, relationship shame, surviving divorce

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  • #233
    July 22 · 14 min

    Divorce: Why Smart, Successful People Stay in Toxic Marriages

    🎧 Before You Continue… Don't Navigate Divorce Alone The Divorce Crash Course If you're thinking about divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild your life afterward, our Divorce Crash Course can help you avoid the mistakes that cost people thousands of dollars—and months (or years) of unnecessary stress. Typically priced at $150, it's available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Inside you'll learn: How to prepare before filing for divorce The biggest legal and financial mistakes to avoid How to save money on attorney's fees Parenting and custody considerations What to expect throughout the divorce process 👉 Get instant access today: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Episode Description "I'm smart...so how did I end up in such a toxic marriage?" If you've ever looked back on your relationship and asked yourself that question, this episode is for you. One of the most painful parts of divorce isn't just grieving the relationship—it's trying to understand why you stayed. Andrea explores why intelligent, educated, capable, and successful people often remain in unhealthy marriages far longer than they expected. This isn't about weakness or a lack of intelligence. It's about hope, psychology, love, and the very human tendency to believe that if we just try a little harder, things will eventually get better. In this deeply personal mini episode, Andrea discusses: Why toxic relationships usually develop gradually The psychology of normalization and why unhealthy behavior becomes easier to accept over time Why successful people often stay because they're natural problem-solvers The role hope plays in keeping us stuck Why leaving a marriage is rarely "just one decision" How shame can become one of the biggest obstacles to healing Why replacing self-blame with understanding is one of the most important steps in recovery If you've ever wondered, "What was I thinking?" this episode offers a different perspective—one rooted in compassion instead of shame. Because healing doesn't begin with blaming yourself. It begins with understanding yourself. In This Episode Why smart people stay in toxic marriages The psychology behind unhealthy relationships How normalization changes what we accept Why hope can sometimes keep us stuck Why problem-solvers often struggle to leave The hidden cost of shame after divorce Replacing self-blame with self-understanding The first steps toward emotional healing Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course Learn how to protect yourself legally, financially, and emotionally before, during, and after divorce. 👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course Join Our Free Community Connect with thousands of people navigating divorce who truly understand what you're going through. 👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com Questions or Episode Ideas? We'd love to hear from you. 📧 hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com If This Episode Helped... Please consider following How Not to Suck at Divorce on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your follows, ratings, and reviews help more people find support during one of the hardest seasons of their lives. SEO Keywords Why smart people stay in toxic marriages Toxic marriage Emotional abuse Divorce podcast Divorce recovery High-conflict marriage Unhealthy relationships Why people stay in bad relationships Divorce healing Shame after divorce Divorce emotional recovery Relationship psychology How to leave a toxic marriage Healing after divorce How Not to Suck at Divorce

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