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How Not To Suck At Divorce · Wednesday · 9 min

Divorce Co-Parenting: Want a Better Relationship With Your Ex? Do This.

Want Your Ex to Behave Better? Try This Instead 🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC) Thinking about divorce or already in it? Before you make a decision that could cost you thousands, get the information you wish someone had given you from the very beginning. Get the Divorce Crash Course (DCC) today. Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink. Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild afterward, this course can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartbreak. Episode Description It may sound completely backwards, but sometimes the fastest way to improve your co-parenting relationship is to thank your ex. No, this isn't about pretending they're Parent of the Year. It's not about rewarding bad behavior or forgetting everything they've put you through. It's about understanding something surprisingly simple: people tend to repeat behaviors that are acknowledged. In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea explains why a genuine "thank you" after your co-parent does something thoughtful, flexible, or simply doesn't make your life harder can change the tone of your relationship. From switching weekends without a fight to communicating well about the kids, small moments of appreciation can reinforce the behaviors that make co-parenting easier for everyone. If your goal is raising healthy kids—not winning against your ex—this simple mindset shift could make your divorce a little less stressful. In This Episode Why positive reinforcement works on adults, too The psychology behind encouraging better co-parenting Why appreciation doesn't mean approval When you should (and shouldn't) thank your co-parent How one sentence can reduce conflict Why the goal is healthy kids—not keeping score How changing the tone of communication benefits everyone Why kindness can be a surprisingly effective co-parenting strategy Key Takeaways You don't have to like your ex to reinforce good behavior. Appreciation is different from excusing past behavior. Positive reinforcement can encourage healthier communication. Your kids benefit when co-parenting becomes less adversarial. Sometimes the strongest strategy is changing the tone—not escalating the conflict. Small moments of kindness can create meaningful shifts over time. Memorable Quotes "We repeat positive behaviors that get acknowledged." "This isn't being weak. This is strategy." "The goal isn't to win against your ex. The goal is to raise healthy kids." "You don't need to write them a haiku. Just say thank you." Resources Mentioned Divorce Crash Course (DCC) OurFamilyWizard Soberlink Divorce Guided Meditations (Coming Soon) How Not to Suck at Divorce Community Subscribe & Review If this episode made you think differently about co-parenting, we'd love your support. Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little more peace in their co-parenting relationship. Your reviews help us reach more people navigating divorce, and we truly appreciate every single one. www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck SEO Keywords divorce, co-parenting, co-parent communication, divorce podcast, positive reinforcement, parenting after divorce, co-parenting tips, divorce advice, parenting plan, family law, healthy co-parenting, conflict after divorce, raising kids after divorce, divorced parents, divorce support Mentioned in this episode: Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It’s completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500. Guided Divorce Meditations For the moments when you're about to lose your sh$t. We've got you, baby. Just press play and you'll be calmer. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guides/p/divorce-guided-meditations Guided Meditations

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show notes

Want Your Ex to Behave Better? Try This Instead

🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC)

Thinking about divorce or already in it? Before you make a decision that could cost you thousands, get the information you wish someone had given you from the very beginning.

Get the Divorce Crash Course (DCC) today.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild afterward, this course can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartbreak.

Episode Description

It may sound completely backwards, but sometimes the fastest way to improve your co-parenting relationship is to thank your ex.

No, this isn't about pretending they're Parent of the Year. It's not about rewarding bad behavior or forgetting everything they've put you through. It's about understanding something surprisingly simple: people tend to repeat behaviors that are acknowledged.

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea explains why a genuine "thank you" after your co-parent does something thoughtful, flexible, or simply doesn't make your life harder can change the tone of your relationship. From switching weekends without a fight to communicating well about the kids, small moments of appreciation can reinforce the behaviors that make co-parenting easier for everyone.

If your goal is raising healthy kids—not winning against your ex—this simple mindset shift could make your divorce a little less stressful.

In This Episode

  • Why positive reinforcement works on adults, too
  • The psychology behind encouraging better co-parenting
  • Why appreciation doesn't mean approval
  • When you should (and shouldn't) thank your co-parent
  • How one sentence can reduce conflict
  • Why the goal is healthy kids—not keeping score
  • How changing the tone of communication benefits everyone
  • Why kindness can be a surprisingly effective co-parenting strategy

Key Takeaways

  • You don't have to like your ex to reinforce good behavior.
  • Appreciation is different from excusing past behavior.
  • Positive reinforcement can encourage healthier communication.
  • Your kids benefit when co-parenting becomes less adversarial.
  • Sometimes the strongest strategy is changing the tone—not escalating the conflict.
  • Small moments of kindness can create meaningful shifts over time.

Memorable Quotes

"We repeat positive behaviors that get acknowledged."
"This isn't being weak. This is strategy."
"The goal isn't to win against your ex. The goal is to raise healthy kids."
"You don't need to write them a haiku. Just say thank you."

Resources Mentioned

  • Divorce Crash Course (DCC)
  • OurFamilyWizard
  • Soberlink
  • Divorce Guided Meditations (Coming Soon)
  • How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

Subscribe & Review

If this episode made you think differently about co-parenting, we'd love your support. Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little more peace in their co-parenting relationship.

Your reviews help us reach more people navigating divorce, and we truly appreciate every single one.

www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

SEO Keywords

divorce, co-parenting, co-parent communication, divorce podcast, positive reinforcement, parenting after divorce, co-parenting tips, divorce advice, parenting plan, family law, healthy co-parenting, conflict after divorce, raising kids after divorce, divorced parents, divorce support

Mentioned in this episode:

Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry

After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It’s completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

Guided Divorce Meditations

For the moments when you're about to lose your sh$t. We've got you, baby. Just press play and you'll be calmer. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guides/p/divorce-guided-meditations

Guided Meditations

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