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Kids & Family

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Dr Maryhan

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.


Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.


The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them.


The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting.


We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not!


This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories.


So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation...


We'd love to hear from you!


We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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  • 21 episodes
  • Updated Wednesday

Episodes21

Newest first
  • Wednesday · 22 min

    Screen Time, Sleep, and Your Child's Mood: What You Are Missing

    Screens aren’t just distracting your child - they’re quietly disrupting the one thing their brain and body cannot function without: sleep. And when sleep quality drops, everything else follows: mood, behaviour, emotional regulation, impulse control, learning, resilience and family harmony. In today’s episode, I explain the real screen‑time problem most parents miss, how it impacts your child’s sleep, and give you five practical things you can start doing tonight to fix it. So if you’re constantly in a battle with the screens, and it’s turning bedtime into a war, this episode is a must listen. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:38 - The biggest danger of screen time 03:10 - Does your child do this? 06:52 - The science of sleep 12:06 - 5 things you can do tonight 18:04 - The one week experiment 20:24 - We’re not fighting the robots 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Sunday · 15 min

    Bucket Emptying: 5 Things to Say When Your Child Won't Try Something

    Fear of failure is one of the most misunderstood challenges parents face, especially when you’re raising a bright, capable child who refuses to try anything unless success is guaranteed. Today, I break down exactly why children avoid new experiences, quit the moment things get hard, melt down over mistakes, or insist “I can’t do it” before they’ve even begun. I am going to give you 5 practical strategies you can start using today to build resilience, confidence and emotional regulation, without pushing too hard. If your child avoids homework, quits activities, panics about getting things wrong, or compares themselves constantly to others, then I promise this episode will help you. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:55 - A quick reminder 02:52 - What’s the worst that can happen? 07:46 - Model imperfection 11:30 - They are never doing it alone 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • July 29 · 25 min

    When Your Child Won't Try Anything New: Fear of Failure and the Resilience Gap

    If you’re watching your bright, capable child refuse to try anything unless success is guaranteed, this episode is going to feel like oxygen. I’m breaking down exactly what’s really driving fear of failure in children - the avoidance, the perfectionism, the “I’m not doing it if I’m going to be bad at it” - and I’m giving you five practical things you can do right now to close the resilience gap. You’ll learn how fear of failure forms, how to spot it, and how to help your child build the confidence to try, struggle, persist and grow… even when things don’t go perfectly. If you’ve ever worried that your child’s fear of getting it wrong might hold them back, this episode will show you how to turn it around starting today. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 01:24 - Fear of failing is NOT this… 05:57 - How to spot a fear of failure 11:23 - 3 mistakes you might be making 16:05 - 5 things you can do right now 18:33 - Normalise failure 21:22 - Separate your child from the performance 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • July 26 · 19 min

    Bucket Emptying: Five Ways to Support Your Sensitive Child Without Wrapping Them in Cotton Wool

    In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most confusing challenges parents face: how to support a highly sensitive child without wrapping them in cotton wool or pushing them too hard. If your child feels everything deeply - the party overwhelm, the criticism that undoes them, the emotional intensity that seems bigger than everyone else’s - then you need this episode. I explain what high sensitivity actually is, how it overlaps with anxiety, ADHD and autism, and why so many parents misinterpret sensitivity as fragility or a sign that something is “wrong”. I walk you through five practical, evidence‑based strategies you can start using today to build your child’s resilience without dismissing who they are. If you’ve ever worried that you’re either protecting your child too much or not protecting them enough, this episode will give you the middle path - one that honours their depth, strengthens their confidence, and helps them grow into the extraordinary person they’re wired to be. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 01:18 - The biggest mistake you will make 05:22 - A flooded nervous system cannot take information 08:14 - Manage, don’t avoid 10:40 - What adult do you want to raise? 13:16 - Be your child’s counter narrative 15:19 - Be a role model 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • July 22 · 29 min

    Highly Sensitive Children: Is It Anxiety, Neurodivergence or Just Who They Are?

    In this episode, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood traits I see in children every single week: high sensitivity. If your child feels everything deeply - the loud places, the scratchy clothes, the emotional intensity of a birthday party they actually enjoyed - you may have wondered whether it’s anxiety, ADHD, autism, or something you’ve somehow caused. So let’s clear it up. I explain the difference between high sensitivity, anxiety, and neurodivergence, why they overlap, and how to tell what you’re really looking at. You’ll learn the five patterns that reliably show up in highly sensitive children, why their nervous system processes the world more deeply, and how this trait can be a profound strength when it’s understood rather than pathologised. Most importantly, I will give you five practical tools you can start using today. If you’ve ever been told your child is “too sensitive”, or you’ve quietly wondered whether something is wrong, this episode will help you see what’s actually happening, and what your child truly needs. Highlights from this episode: 01:21 - Can labels be limiting? 03:13 - Highly sensitive is not a diagnosis 06:26 - 5 signs of high sensitivity 13:41 - Sensitivity versus neurodivergence 19:36 - What you can do right now 26:07 - Sensitivity is a superpower 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • July 19 · 16 min

    How to Survive the First Week of the Holidays

    In this episode, I will walk you through the real first week of the school holidays - the meltdowns, the boredom, the clinginess, the explosions over nothing - and why this week is always the hardest for anxious children. I explain exactly what’s happening in your child’s nervous system when the school‑day scaffolding disappears, why their bucket fills before lunchtime, and the three practical tools you can use immediately to stabilise the week. So if you’re standing in your kitchen wondering how you’re going to survive six weeks, this episode gives you what you need to get through the first seven days without losing yourself! Highlights from this episode: 01:11 - When the scaffolding comes down 03:00 - What is the bucket? 05:09 - Name the state, not the behaviour 08:50 - Predictable moments 11:01 - Lower your expectations 14:33 - Holiday rhythm card 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • July 15 · 30 min

    Why Anxious Children Struggle in the Holidays (and What Actually Helps)

    Summer holidays are tough for parents, but it can be a hidden superpower! In this episode, I explain exactly why anxious children struggle the moment school ends, why the holidays bring out their anxiety, and the five practical tools that genuinely help. I walk you through the real reason behind the meltdowns, the boredom‑to‑explosion cycle, the clinginess, and the screen‑time battles. You’ll learn how predictability, scaffolding, social structure and nervous‑system load change dramatically once term ends - and why this shift hits anxious children harder than anyone expects. I also break down the three groups of children who improve in the holidays: separation‑anxious children school‑specific anxious children, and children who monitor family safety. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clear, compassionate framework for understanding your child’s behaviour, plus five actionable tools you can start right now. Highlights from this episode: 01:22 - Anxiety is information 04:45 - How to spot anxiety 09:23 - Social comparison 12:19 - The trigger has left the building 16:54 - Contrast is the signal 20:57 - Where does overwhelm come from? 23:18 - 5 tools to use now 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • July 12 · 13 min

    What to Say When Your Child Says "I Give Up"

    In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I’m giving you the exact words to use in one of the hardest parenting moments: when your child looks at you and says “I’m not good enough.” If you’ve ever watched your child crumble after a mistake, a test, a football practice, or a moment that didn’t go their way, and your reassurance only made things worse, you need this episode. I walk you through three specific tools that work with an overwhelmed nervous system, not against it. You’ll learn why reassurance backfires, what’s actually happening inside your child’s emotional bucket, and how to respond in a way that builds resilience, emotional regulation, and self‑worth. If your child struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, low confidence, big feelings, or shutdowns, this episode is your secret weapon. Highlights from this episode: 02:12 - This is what your child really means 04:31 - Do this before anything else 07:16 - Permanence is terrifying 09:24 - Empty the bucket 11:48 - My give to you 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • July 5 · 18 min

    Three Signs Your Daughter Needs an ADHD Test

    If your daughter is “fine at school” but falling apart at home - the meltdowns, the morning battles, the homework explosions, the constant need for you to narrate every step - this episode may be the missing piece you’ve been searching for. Because none of this is about attitude, defiance or bad parenting. It may be ADHD, and in girls it looks nothing like the stereotype. In this episode, I walk you through three signs of ADHD in girls that are missed for years sometimes decades. You’ll learn why your daughter’s bucket fills faster than anyone realises, why she can hold it together all day only to unravel the moment she feels safe, why she can’t sequence tasks her peers manage easily, and why her emotional reactions seem so out of proportion to the trigger. I’ll show you how masking works, why teachers often see a completely different child, and why girls are diagnosed three to four years later than boys… if they’re diagnosed at all. And most importantly, I’ll give you the language and the framework to recognise these signs in your daughter and know exactly what to do next. If you’ve been quietly wondering whether something deeper is going on, if anxiety treatment hasn’t shifted the core problem, if the worry keeps coming back, if the restlessness never quite makes sense, this episode will help you see your daughter clearly, compassionately, and accurately. You know your child. If something has felt “off” for a long time, trust that. And let this episode be your starting point. Highlights from this episode: 02:14 - The stuff nobody else sees 04:48 - This is why your daughter is not diagnosed 07:11 - Executive dysfunction 10:07 - It’s not bad behaviour 12:09 - Why do girls get missed? 14:20 - Treatment is more than medication 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • June 28 · 15 min

    My Child Won't Stop Comparing Themselves to Their Sibling

    If your child is constantly shouting “It’s not fair!”, measuring every biscuit, bedtime or privilege against their sibling, and turning every moment into a competition, this episode will help you breathe again. None of this is really about fairness; it’s about belonging. When children compare, they’re not asking about portions. They’re asking, do I matter as much as they do? In this episode, I’ll show you exactly what’s happening underneath the comparison and why logic never works when your child’s emotional bucket is full. You’ll learn the three tools that actually shift the dynamic: how to name the feeling beneath the argument, how to reframe fairness as equity rather than equality, and how to help your child build their own yardstick so they stop measuring themselves against their sibling. If you’re exhausted by the constant battles, or worried that your child will always be stuck in comparison mode, this episode will give you clarity, language and practical steps you can use today. They’re not fighting about the biscuit - they’re asking if they matter. And you can answer that question in a way that changes everything. Highlights from this episode: 01:11 - It’s not about the biscuit 04:29 - Name what they’re actually asking 06:40 - Equity over quality 09:14 - Give them their own yardstick 12:13 - It’s not you, it’s me 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • June 21 · 12 min

    What to Say When Your Child Says 'I'm Not Good Enough'

    When your child looks at you and says, “I’m not good enough,” it hits you in the chest. Every instinct you have wants to fix it, to tell them they’re brilliant, to list every wonderful thing about them, to make the feeling go away. But if you’ve tried that, you already know it doesn’t work. They don’t believe you. They cry harder. They shut down. And you’re left wondering what on earth you’re supposed to say. In this episode, I’ll show you exactly what’s happening in your child’s brain in that moment, and why reassurance, however loving, cannot land. When a child says “I’m not good enough,” their emotional bucket is full. Their nervous system is overwhelmed. Their thinking brain is offline. You’re not talking to logic; you’re talking to a flooded body. I’ll walk you through the three tools that actually work: how to acknowledge the feeling so their guard comes down, how to shift them from a global identity statement to a specific moment, and how to help them empty their bucket so they can regulate again. These are simple, powerful steps you can use tonight - in the car, in the kitchen, or at bedtime - to help your child feel seen, safe and supported. If you’re tired of reassurance falling flat and you want a response that truly helps your child in their “I’m not good enough” spiral, this episode gives you the words, the sequence, and the science behind why they work. Highlights from this episode: 01:09 - I’m Not Good Enough 03:58 - Hear It First 06:43 - Action Over Identity 08:50 - Empty the Bucket 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • June 17 · 23 min

    My Child is a Perfectionist: When High Standards Become Anxiety

    If your child is melting down over tiny mistakes, refusing to start homework, or abandoning activities the moment they stop being “naturally good,” this episode is one you cannot afford to skip. I’m seeing perfectionism show up in more children than ever, and most parents don’t realise it’s not about high standards at all. It’s anxiety. And it’s quietly eroding your child’s confidence, resilience, and joy. In this episode, I break down what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and the hidden signs most families miss - from the blank‑page freeze to the endless erasing, the shutdowns, the self‑criticism, and the sudden quitting of things they once loved. I’ll show you the neuroscience behind why your child reacts this way, the early experiences that wire these beliefs in, and the five practical tools you can start using today to help them feel enough, even when things aren’t perfect. If you’re tired of walking on eggshells, exhausted by homework battles, or worried that your child’s fear of getting it wrong is holding them back, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a plan. Perfectionism isn’t fixed, and with the right support, your child can learn to try, to tolerate mistakes, and to thrive again. Highlights from this episode: 01:11 - Performance = Worth 06:05 - The signs of perfectionism 10:05 - The root cause of anxiety 14:40 - Five things that work 18:18 - Mind the gap 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • June 14 · 17 min

    Three Practical Strategies to Help Your Distracted Child Focus

    If your child can spend 45 minutes sharpening pencils, rearranging their desk, or “revising” without absorbing a single thing, you are not imagining it - something is getting in the way of their concentration, and it’s not laziness or lack of effort. In this bucket emptying episode, I’ll show you why so many children struggle to focus, even when they’re trying, and why the strategies most parents rely on - timers, bribery, removing distractions - often don’t work. Drawing on the neuroscience shared by Professor Sam Wass in Thursday’s deeper‑dive episode, I’ll walk you through three practical, evidence‑based strategies you can use this week to transform how your child focuses. You’ll learn why stressed or anxious brains cannot concentrate, why understanding must come before focus, and why even a face‑down phone across the room can derail your child’s attention. Most importantly, you’ll come away with three simple tools that work with your child’s brain rather than against it so homework, revision, and everyday tasks finally feel doable again. If you’re exhausted by the battles and starting to wonder whether something is “wrong,” this episode will give you clarity, relief, and a plan that actually works. Highlights from this episode: 01:14 - What Would Sam Do? 02:45 - STRESS 05:24 - Two Kinds of Concentration 07:07 - Give the brain something to cling to 09:05 - Understanding Before Focus 11:59 - Screens are competing for your child’s attention - don’t let them win! 14:25 - Watch out for these two things 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • June 10 · 43 min

    Why Your Child Can't Concentrate: Focus, Distraction and ADHD with Professor Sam Wass

    If you’ve ever wondered why your child can spend 40 minutes talking about Minecraft but can’t concentrate for four minutes on homework, this episode explains everything. I’m joined again by Professor Sam Wass, and if you heard his previous episodes, you’ll know why parents loved them. In today’s conversation, Sam breaks down what concentration actually is from a neuroscience perspective, why young children are wired to be easily distracted, and why some children struggle far more than others in noisy classrooms, during revision, or when faced with a blank page. We dig into the two types of concentration every child needs, why the frontal cortex develops painfully slowly, how screens hijack attention, and why understanding something is the single biggest predictor of whether a child can focus on it. If you’re battling procrastination, homework refusal, or a child who “just can’t sit still,” this episode will give you the clarity you’ve been missing If you want to understand your child’s brain - and finally stop blaming them (or yourself) for something that’s biological, predictable, and fixable - you need to listen to this. Highlights from this episode: 02:40 - Concentrating through doing 09:20 - Two ways to structure learning tasks 15:46 - My name is Sam and I am a Candy Crush addict 21:53 - Build on interests 27:24 - Stress and concentration 34:39 - Screen time 38:56 - We are prediction machines 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • June 7 · 14 min

    5 Questions to Ask Your Worried Child Tonight

    If your child is anxious, you already know how hard evenings can be. You sit beside them wanting desperately to help, but every time you try to reassure them, it backfires. Logic doesn’t land. Distraction doesn’t stick. And sometimes, despite your best intentions, the thing you say makes everything worse. This episode gives you something you can use tonight. I’ll walk you through five specific, evidence‑based questions that shift an anxious child from overwhelm into curiosity, even if they’re tired, irritable, or shutting down. These questions work because they bypass the logical brain (which is offline during anxiety) and instead help your child observe what’s happening inside them with a little more distance and a lot more safety. You’ll learn exactly why each question works, how to use them, and what to do when your child gives you nothing but a shrug or a grunt. By the end, you’ll have a simple, repeatable toolkit you can rely on every night - no scripts, no pressure, no perfect parenting required. If you’ve been searching for the right words to help your worried child, this episode gives you five you can use before bedtime. Highlights from this episode: 00:59 - What you get from this episode 03:34 - The 5 questions 06:53 - Give the worry a form 09:25 - A brutal inner demon 11:22 - Two red flags 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • May 31 · 14 min

    Bucket Empyting: One Thing to Say to Your Son Every Day to Build His Confidence

    If you’re raising a boy, you already know this: you can believe in him with your whole heart, and still watch him struggle to believe in himself. You tell him he’s brilliant and he shrugs it off. You encourage him and he brushes it away. You try to have a meaningful conversation and suddenly his phone becomes the most fascinating object on earth. Meanwhile, you can see the gap widening - the gap between how you see him and how he sees himself. And nothing you say seems to close it. This episode gives you one simple, evidence‑based daily habit that will. One question that teaches your son to look inward, recognise his own effort, and build confidence from the inside out - not from praise, not from performance, not from comparison. I’ll show you exactly how to use it at every age, what to do when he rolls his eyes or gives you nothing, and how this tiny daily ritual slowly rewires the way he sees himself. If you want a practical, realistic way to strengthen your son’s confidence - one that actually sticks - this is the episode you cannot afford to skip. Highlights from this episode: 02:15 - Let’s talk about the bucket 04:17 - The only daily question you need to ask 06:56 - Every age is different 10:44 - Two flags! 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.