Honestly Smartless

My Ex is Trying to Kill Me

Chelsea's ex didn't fix her brakes, he just showed her a fake $1,700 invoice line by line. Lindsay did a drive-by of the old house to grab her fall boots and found rabbit ears on the flat screen TV, a cereal box left out, and pillows in a very suspicious position. Chelsea started a new job at a live music bar where they chanted her name on night one. AI Instagram series about an Italian mob boss and his nanny that somehow has better romantic tension than anything in real life, and break down a Cornell fraternity case where seven men assaulted a woman for seven hours and received a writing assignment as punishment. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Sharing Panties and Crockpots

Chelsea and Lindsay recap a girls' weekend Wisconsin where everyone was too respectful, the men all loved their wives, and Chelsea just wanted someone to disrespect her a little. Chelsea deployed Lindsay as her personal honeypot, twerked at 2PM next to dad bods in windbreakers, and nearly climbed a 6'7" "super secret military pilot", who was actually pouring concrete and wearing the wrong shoes. Back home: the crock pot is empty because they forgot a can opener, their thongs got mixed in the laundry, and Lindsay showed up to a date still wearing her wedding ring. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Taylor Frankie Paul & Why We Blame the Wrong Person **REPLAY**

Taylor Frankie Paul was supposed to be the Bachelorette. Then her baby daddy released a two-year-old video to TMZ right before premiere and blew up her life, her career, and apparently the entire Bachelor franchise with it. We talk about why Dakota is the villain nobody's holding accountable, why the internet keeps punishing the woman, and why ABC might actually be the most culpable party in this whole mess. Also: Chelsea's roommate threatened to throw her off the balcony, Lindsay had a win at work, and we discuss the celibacy scale (it's not what you think). Two dumb girls. Sometimes smart. Always hilarious. ****This episode touches on domestic violence in real life and in the headlines. If anything we said hit close to home, you're not alone. National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | thehotline.org Text START to 88788 | Chat available 24/7 **Originally aired 3/23/2026** Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Divorces and FLDS Cults *REPLAY*

She said "I do"… and then found his cheating texts. Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay break down a real-life wedding that turned into a same-week divorce, have shiting your pants stories, and Chelsea has a personal connection the the FLDS and Warren Jeffs. Plus, parents sending a 3-page inheritance list, why red light therapy is a scam, smuggling mushroom capsules to Vegas, and Lindsay is being recruited for the FBI. **It's a holiday weekend - enjoy a replay**Originally aired on April 13th* Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Banana Butt Stuff and Bimbos

PSA: don't shove a banana up your butt and we have a genuinely solid sex trafficking prevention tip. Lindsay cried at 5:30 on Friday, went out anyway, and became the belle of every bar. Chelsea discovered a $20 bimbo hypnosis app at 2AM and nearly crossed over. (check out WhisperStories.com) Good Good Golf thought body-checking a woman was great marketing. Is domestic violence ever funny? Someone asked if Christ could be the third in their threesome. And no, they have not hooked up. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Disney Princess Porn Is My New Hobby

Chelsea marks 16 years sober with zero presents and a formal complaint. She spends a weekend eye-fucking Aquaman at a lake party, watches her friend ask to do coke in front of someone's kids, and gets her legs aggressively complimented by a husband-wife team on a staircase. Who has been watching Disney princess porn? And they also look up what cocaine feels like. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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How to Get Divorced with your Best Friend

Chelsea smuggled a butcher knife out of her old apartment at 8 AM, drove through a school zone going 30 in a 20 with it stuffed in her boot, still high from yoga, and has decided to just leave it in the trail trash. Lindsay's Instagram algorithm is puppies and makeup. Chelsea's is full of girls making out and sex product ads. Chelsea posted her first foot photo at 2 AM with full production, lighting, lotion, angles. Lindsay is grieving physically, therapy wipes her out every Monday, and she wants to start dating like an Amish person: once a week, 9AM to 4PM only, no acknowledging each other's families until formally introduced. Chelsea took the wrong medication combination for a week and was "real real bad." The restaurant stopped scheduling Chelsea. The podcast is taking over. They're writing a book about how to get divorced with your best friend and they are not kidding. August better show up because July was huge. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Why Men Hate Women

We know why men hate women, and it either has to do with the NFL or ladies being super tiny. We have a whole gym-bro breakdown and a pantsless yoga teacher. Plus: the wildest new friend group we've made yet (Tampa people, what is wrong with you??), the most dangerous left turn known to man, and a very important reminder that anger is an emotion and we're allowed to have it. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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How to Break Up in 5 Minutes

How to break up in 5 minutes: 1. Start a podcast with your bestie 4 years ago 2. Talk about every aspect of your life and your feelings and life decisions. 3. Release the episode before you have a tough conversation with your husband not knowing he will listen to it. 4. Take a 5 minute walk in the park with your husband - guess how it goes from there. Lindsay is feeling every emotion simultaneously, cried on the treadmill, and is figuring out laundry for the first time. Chelsea made the same bed ten times for a NASA sheets campaign and she wants to borrow the rubber ducky vibrator, but that seems wrong. And nobody in the Barbie Dream House is making dinner and everyone's thriving. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Nip Slips and Psychics

A psychic, a nipple, and six days of radio silence. Lindsay takes her first solo vacation. The psychic says full-time podcaster by end of year and rich in three. All while she accidentally flashes her nipple in a reel. Chelsea gains 2,500 followers. Chelsea is embracing the UGC life, kinda. The Cyber house has a nature trail and no TV. Everyone's snowglobe is shaken up. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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My Therapist Said Stop Talking About Feelings

Lindsay just had her first therapy session, and it did not go the direction you'd expect. She's feeling a "solid friendship vibe" with her husb and her therapist says to shut down feelings and stick to facts. He called her in a time of need, Lindsay showed up with Chipotle, quietly packed her Nespresso machine into her purse, ate half his burrito while he was in the bathroom, and left. Meanwhile Cyber went quiet for three days and Chelsea and Lindsay confirmed the weird energy was real and they talked it out. Plus: living together quirks, the world's greatest closet, Chelsea doing laundry every three days whether you want her to or not, and what it actually feels like to be alone for the first time in your life. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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[REPLAY] MAGA with Camel Toes

Camel toe or moose knuckle? Should we infiltrate the MAGA influencers? WTF is up with Will Smith, and a fun game to play with your bestie. Chapters 02:51 Parrots calling people P*ssies 05:54 Lindsay doesn't know how to buy bread 08:25 Camel Toe vs Moose Knuckle + Nipping Out 11:19 Feminism and Piers Morgan 16:22 MAGA Influencer Undercover Mission 19:06 Fun Game: How Well Do We Know Each Other? 22:48 Feng Shui for your Dead Dog 23:44 We need more hobbies 24:55 Chicken Tendies 26:57 Financial Irresponsibility 28:47 Recycling is a Scam 32:46 Who cares about body count? 34:49 Lifestyle Contracts 38:22 Will Smith's Career is spiraling 43:16 Diddy Trial: People still won't believe a woman Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Midlife Crisis Meltdown

Besties, we are NOT okay and we are LOVING it. This week Lindsay drops the bomb we did not see coming: she's having marriage issues and an identity crisis, she's moving out, and she is moving in with her partner in crime, Chelsea. Two dumb girls, one midlife crisis. We're talking 2am doorbell rings, "sad and poor" era, delusional manifestation, and the exact moment we both decided to blow our whole lives up on purpose. I Grab your ice cream and your emotional support bestie, because this one's a ride. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Salmon Jizz (REPLAY)

Spit or swallow? Eating babies, falling out of love, and get your butts checked. **ORIGINAL AIR DATE 02/16/2026*** Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Dating Advice From a Woman Who Tells Guys Her Credit Score on Date One

She's moving out for real this time. After everything that went down with the roommate, Chelsea plays "reasons I'm excited to move out". Cyber updates, a guy who hit on both of them in the same week, a rodeo night gone sideways, a Nordstrom shoe-shopping disaster that ends in a stolen display model, and a Father's Day email from Chelsea's mom that lands a little too perfectly timed. Porn preference debate nobody asked for and dating advice from a friend who leads with her credit score. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Knicks in Five and Back Fat Rankings

Knicks are champions. Lindsay called her husband fat in the car and immediately got dropped off. And after a weekend that escalated into the kind of night nobody should have to have, Chelsea is officially moving out and no one's poking her in the chest at 4am ever again. Chelsea and Cyber are thriving, a girls' night got fully hijacked by work nerds, Johnny learned some hard lessons about reading the room, and a very important back fat taxonomy that no one asked for but everyone needed. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

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Everything We Can't Talk About

Parrot earrings from a dead woman's jewelry box, a homemade NA Paloma recipe, and the hottest guy in Denver showing up at Chelseas's work. Chelsea and Lindsay get into the wannabe Christian influencer who prays over his wife's period on TikTok, the couple who exposed their best friend's cheating boyfriend on camera and lost every friend they had (plus got pregnant in the middle of it), the AI fruit soap opera that's somehow 30 episodes deep, and a full spoiler-filled recap of Friends and Neighbors season 2. Line dancing dates, the bed rot challenge, chess lessons via Duolingo, and why neither of them wants to hang out with anyone else ever again. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

ASMR Bedtime Stories

Thirty days. Six dates. One thunderstorm. Chelsea finally spent the night and she's reporting back on everything. He had two candles going (one that sounds like a campfire), a playlist titled "Sex" that ChatGPT built for 49-year-olds, carried her to the bedroom, and woke up spooning until 9am. She went in sober so she could remember all of it. Then they went to Snooze for breakfast, ordered bacon cooked to their exact specifications, and shared strawberry shortcake pancakes. Chelsea is adored and she knows it. Plus he guy who keeps canceling and thinks he's testing her, Lindsay cries about the podcast and gets talked off the ledge, and a very important Motrin conversation. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

Memorial Day: Panic Attack at 6AM, a Child We Didn't Plan For & Sand in our Pants

At 11:30 Thursday night, someone said "pack your bags, we're going to Santa Fe" and somehow it worked. Chelsea and Lindsay recap their Memorial Day weekend road trip: a six-hour drive with a road trip game, a wet blanket who became a full participant once his best friend got involved, a last-minute room booking panic, a 7-year-old who didn't speak (lucky), five people nearly sharing one room, and Chelsea almost refusing to get out of the car at the sand dunes they drove hours to see. 513 photos taken, 511 of Chelsea, one perfectly edited photo that turned out to be the wrong person, and the new travel standard: an Amex black card concierge who plans everything so you don't have to think. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless

Penis Pumps ft. Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard

Bobby Lee. Two makeouts. Front row. In front of everyone. Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay are joined by Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard — a Wisconsin podcast duo born out of steak nights, Leinenkugels, and too much free time during a pandemic. Dimples and Beard spent three nights at the Comedy Store in LA (8pm to 2am like absolute lunatics), walked away with a Bobby Lee makeout story, a Polly Shore hug on video, and a front-row review of Dane Cook's current state (verdict: rough). Why comedians are bad podcast guests, the penis pump bathtub ad read that got them dropped by a sponsor, getting ghosted by no-show guests, Chelsea's gold digging stand-up bit, how Lindsay and Chelsea got fired together from a chiropractor's office and never looked back, Dean's grandpa reveal, and why Wisconsin is apparently where values still live. Watch Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard on YouTube Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr YouTube: Honestly Smartless