Hello Dysfunction

A raw and hilarious dive into current events, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, navigating mental illness, gossip, and the political dumpster fire we’re all forced to live in.

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365 episodes
Updated Friday
Explicit

Episodes365

Newest first

Aug 6, 2019 · 1 hr 17 min
S1 Ep43: Stay Away From Andy
This week is episode 43 and the girls discuss some unfortunate events. Always check your drivers license for fine print, brace yourself before entering the post office, download a vpn before watching snuff, and real friends make radio dedications. Enjoy xo.
Jul 30, 2019 · 1 hr 26 min
S1 Ep42: God is a Dom
This episode focuses on a few odd subjects. Crystal's grandfather's feature in a book, don't lose yourself in a relationship, is the zodiac international, the rapture is all a big set up, don't give the internet your info, and do let your friends teach you sexual acts. Enjoy.
Jul 23, 2019 · 1 hr 32 min
S1 Ep41: They're Definitely Neighbors
Episode 41 starts off with a LA vacation recap, Crystal makes a medical discovery, gentrification woes, movie suggestions, animal tales, kids say the darnedest things, loving all things gross, and a very creepy murder Enjoy xo
Jul 18, 2019 · 1 hr 36 min
S1 Ep40: No New Friends
Episode 40 is back at you with an announcement of the new Facebook group "Hello Dysfunction, the meetup", hot girl summer with golden girl knees, how this show was born, Pata Fria reunites w her dad, Crystal needs to lock her doors, don't flirt with your son and boobs are sex toys. Enjoy xo
Jul 9, 2019 · 2 hr 13 min
S1 Ep39: "I think Finnish people are cool"
Episode 39 is here after a week off...the girls describe their new room, another example why humans suck, some celebrity news, food made from science and some beauty tips Enjoy.
Jun 26, 2019 · 1 hr 55 min
S1 Ep38: Hittin Switches
Episode 38 kicks off with a birthday recap, grandma's having company, don't spoil your kids, bad hygiene is rude, our deplorable government, Reebok pumps and some interesting Q&A Enjoy.
Jun 18, 2019 · 2 hr 13 min
S1 Ep37: Piss over ice
Episode 37 is here with some hippie hacks, trouble the kids have been into, Crystal’s grandfather is worse than we imagined, unknown neighborhood names, why it’s not always good to refer ppl, and Crystal reveals a shocking secret.
Jun 11, 2019 · 1 hr 43 min
S1 Ep36: My Whole Life Is A Lie
Pata Fria reveals a family secret, Crystal has a pleasant surprise while shopping, some film suggestions, what the bedroom is really for, Crystal loves talking to strangers and Pata Fria hates the heat. Enjoy Episode 36.
Jun 4, 2019 · 1 hr 45 min
S1 Ep35: Wet n Wild 508
Pata Fria can’t cry and has tattoo blisters, Crystal has an animal rescue foundation in her home, some mom talk and how to get fly in the 90’s. Enjoy. Instagram @Hellodysfunctionwww.facebook.com/HelloDysfunctionTwitter @dysfunctionShow
May 30, 2019 · 1 hr 53 min
S1 Ep34: Ancestry Is Messy
Episode 34 is here with a birthday recap, some dark family secrets, a medication update, what not to do in the post office, intuition vs anxiety and Crystal rescued more f*cking cats. Enjoy. Instagram @Hellodysfunctionwww.facebook.com/HelloDysfunctionTwitter @dysfunctionShow
May 21, 2019 · 1 hr 33 min
S1 Ep33: "I Murdered Alicia Keys"
Episode 33 kicks off with a recap of Crystal's hectic week, a ghost joined the Dom session, weird sex laws, uncomfortable dreams and more. Enjoy. rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow
May 14, 2019 · 1 hr 36 min
S1 Ep32: DAD, DON'T COME IN
The ladies return for episode 32 with a Mother's Day recap, the importance of being polite, some interesting news, technology is out of control, hygiene nightmares and a work story that involved some of moms miscellaneous items. Enjoy.
May 9, 2019 · 18 min
The Yee Yee Girls (bonus Episode)
A Bonus Episode of Hello Dysfunction with Guest hosts the "Yee Yee girls"
May 6, 2019 · 2 hr 1 min
S1 Ep31: Discussing Douches w Strangers
Episode 31: After a brief hiatus the podcast returns with some dysfunctional family stories, the normalcy of anilingus, bad experiences w cops, a phallic playground, bloody cocktails and lots of listener questions Enjoy xo
Apr 23, 2019 · 1 hr 42 min
S1 Ep30: Don't Masturbate To Death
Episode 30 shows up with a bang. Literally. Some talk about how much April sucks, vaginal steaming bars, Crystal's new auntie tribe and the importance of tipping. Dont ask flight crews to do your dirty deeds, queens and princesses, overbearing moms and how Pata Fria's been spending her free time. Enjoy xo
Apr 16, 2019 · 1 hr 42 min
S1 Ep29: I Like To Get Stretched
After an interesting weekend episode 29 covers it all. Pata Fria had a panic, Crystal Barbie and family keep things interesting. Some info and details about kink life, sugar daddies are just older boyfriends, a few celebrity news stories, Planet Fitness does dirty biz, press on nails and listener questions. Enjoy xo
Apr 8, 2019 · 2 hr 1 min
S1 Ep28: Funerals Should Be Funny
This week a lot of subjects are covered. White privilege is definitely real, Pata Fria made it to Detroit, Crystal does a good deed, pay attention to signs the universe is sending you, put the car in park before you get out, unfortunate news, Fisting is popular, and loads of listener questions.
Apr 1, 2019 · 1 hr 52 min
S1 Ep27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES??
Episode 27 is full of random subjects and theories...we revisit chem trails, the effect hairstyles can have on a person, STRONG animal love, sex workers tend to steal, Crystal doesn't eat food or wear panties, Pata Fria completely misunderstood an eBay ad, the latest MJ accusers might be some damn liars, be a good friend or you're outta here, keeping your relationship hiccups within your relationship, and RIP NIPSEY HUSSLE 🙏
Mar 27, 2019 · 1 hr 27 min
S1 Ep26: I Hate Babies
It’s dysfunction as usual this week with another ER visit, soccer startup, Crystal’s new shoes and Pata Fria’s “recovery” to name a few. Abortion, some recent news, the importance of transparency and interesting bodily facts are also discussed. Listener questions and a few “would you rathers” are included to finish you off. Enjoy xo
Mar 19, 2019 · 1 hr 35 min
S1 Ep25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body?
This week is episode 25 and the dysfunction continues with an array of interesting subjects. Some advice is offered to their younger selves, astronauts get a lot of herpes, some women really love dick pics, the French appreciate gross smells, can you really be yourself? and much more. Enjoy, xo

Hello Dysfunction

S1 Ep43: Stay Away From Andy

S1 Ep42: God is a Dom

S1 Ep41: They're Definitely Neighbors

S1 Ep40: No New Friends

S1 Ep39: "I think Finnish people are cool"

S1 Ep38: Hittin Switches

S1 Ep37: Piss over ice

S1 Ep36: My Whole Life Is A Lie

S1 Ep35: Wet n Wild 508

S1 Ep34: Ancestry Is Messy

S1 Ep33: "I Murdered Alicia Keys"

S1 Ep32: DAD, DON'T COME IN

The Yee Yee Girls (bonus Episode)

S1 Ep31: Discussing Douches w Strangers

S1 Ep30: Don't Masturbate To Death

S1 Ep29: I Like To Get Stretched

S1 Ep28: Funerals Should Be Funny

S1 Ep27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES??

S1 Ep26: I Hate Babies

S1 Ep25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body?