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Going Terribly

Alice and Doug

Imagine the most adult children you know – discussing the environmental impact of menstruation cups one minute and making poop jokes the next. That’s Doug and that’s Alice. Two friends who decided to Always Be Recording. He’s a filmmaker, and she’s a college English professor. Their chemistry is accidental. And so is this auditory compendium of their verbal musings.

You are invited to join their lighthearted conversational romps through all of life's absurdities.

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22 episodes
weekly
Avg 50 min
English

Episodes 22

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#315
Tuesday · 46 min
Ep. 315: Two Reverse Burgers in a World War II Banana Shortage
So, where were we? Alice and Doug pick up where they left off last week with some more much needed educating on topics such as “What are the grossest words in the English language?” and “Why does Hostess make all their cakes sound filthy?” There’s also a reveal that, believe it or not, Going Terribly is in the top 0.05% of a particular statistic in ALL of podcasts. It’s actually pretty cool to be honest! Other Discussion Tops May Include: - Space poops - Unanswered questions about Curious George - Disproving Chinese stereotype jokes - Explaining snowballs to the uninitiated - Do you get an extra party if you’re extra born?
#314
October 6 · 46 min
Ep. 314: Two Pork Pie Hats in a Vulcanization Process
It's National Mad Hatter Day! A celebration of...when people would wear hats filled with mercury and start going a little bit crazy? Maybe? Alice and Doug clearly have their hats on in this episode because it gets weird in a hurry. But they also seek to educate this week with the monthly "It Went Terribly" segment. Whether they are successful or not is anyone's guess, but the attempt is there. Other discussion topics may include: - Phasing out licks and sticks - The economic benefits of digging one's own grave - Mixing up Michael Jordan and Howdy Doody - You can't always get a bass clarinet - Hit songs about Olympic figure skater Elvis Stojko
#313
September 29 · 42 min
Ep. 313: Two Fast Food Ringleaders in a Mid-Adam Festival
Alice and Doug recently celebrated Mid-Autumn Festival by shopping for and carefully preparing authentic Chinese dishes. But first, they celebrated National Cheeseburger Day by sitting at a burger joint for over an hour waiting for a Handful of Gentlemen (ahem) to present them with their meals. It’s all about experiencing a variety of cultures. Like, pirates are in here, too. You’ll see. Other discussion topics - Full cornea contacts - How often do you secretly record people in public? - Pig flavored gum - Measuring time in boats of peanuts - Couch writing: Inventive or destructive?
#312
September 22 · 1 hr 31 min
Ep. 312: Four Firm, Tasty Males in an Epic 16-Minute Narrative Song
SIX YEARS. This podcast has had a new episode every single Tuesday for SIX YEARS. Can you believe it? This time around, Doug and Alice welcome returning guest William (will.he.is) and first-time guest Stephanie Osborne (FINALLY) to the podcast for games, chit chats, and jolly good times. And neither of them brings anything iron on this, the Iron Anniversary. Again, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Still a great time though! You know, all things considered, what with the lack of iron and all. Other discussion topics may include: - Did you know deer kept diaries? - Grandmas love Charlie Sheen - Weird Als and Weird AIs - The hit podcast “Alice Loves Anagrams” - Maybe it’s the Toblerone Anniversary?
#311
September 15 · 46 min
Ep. 311: Two Time Traveling Rednecks in an Animal Husbandry Simulator
To celebrate yesterday's National Video Games Day, Doug and Alice play "Is This a Game To You?" To celebrate yesterday's National Day of Encouragement, they're a little extra nice to each other. Even if Alice doesn't like linguine, pizza, or a certain Bedrockian children's vitamin. And even if Doug has too many hot takes about vegan food lines. To celebrate today, they've been listening to "Amber" during their downtime.* Other discussion topics may include: - Eggs that have not been chickified yet - Orangutanese poetry - The misleading nature of double cheeseburgers - Are there professional tambourine players? - Random Goo *You get it.
#310
September 8 · 53 min
Ep. 310: Two Caffeinated Lollipops in a Breakfast at Tympany's
Alice has a band gig coming up this weekend and also has another musical announcement to make on this week's episode! Here's a hint: it rhymes with Dorkestra. Doug takes us on a flavor parade through the streets of New Yum City, featuring blueberries, chicken, and...cottage cheese(?) in weird places. Other discussion topics may include: - Banana bread lovers : are they ew? - Concert pianist Buck Naked - Wanting cookies to taste less like sweet and more like chicken - Zombified Toucan Sam - What important lessons did the movie Psycho teach children?
#309
September 1 · 54 min
Ep. 309: Two Alien-Killing Potatoes in a Mild, Manageable Illness
After three weeks of Taiwan talk, Alice and Doug are back to their regularly scheduled programming. Which, this week includes “It Went Terribly!” Which, this month, includes…plenty of Taiwan talk. Whoops. Alice comes in hot this week, mocking Doug’s video game choices. But by the end she’s humbled via an unexpectedly stolen segment that concludes with an animal that’s potentially become her greatest rival. Doug’s probably just headed back to play Brotato. Other discussion topics may include: - The infamous case of Dicky v Dyke - When will they finally release a record player for cars? - Looking straight up like a dead, raw chicken - Why fewer and fewer people are being ear poisoned now - Is syphilis the greatest pox?
#308
August 25 · 46 min
Ep. 308: Two Little Aunts in a Seven-Story Taipei Mall
This week Alice finishes her tale of visiting Taipei with stories of chasing down English birth certificates, visiting IKEA, and, of course, using eastern toilets. Doug contributes a new game involving celebrity birthdays, explains why putting “Little” before a name upsets him, and has a hot take about…yes, toilets. Other discussion topics may include: - Childish Cardiac Arrests - How to stuff an ottoman in an overheard compartment - College nickname: Stares Forever - You don’t judge a man by the size of his pox - Should we get rid of urinals?
#307
August 18 · 56 min
Ep. 307: Two Buddhist Shrinky Dinks in a Freak Piano-Playing Accident
It’s time for Part Two of Alice’s Taipei Trip Trilogy. During this episode Alice tells Doug and listeners all about the weeklong funeral of her beloved aunt. Doug has a hard time wrapping his head around some customs with which he is not familiar. This is actually a very nice episode about mortality, customs, and family that can educate a lot of us. But hopefully just light and juvenile enough for a typical Going Terribly audience. In loving memory of Gloria.
#306
August 11 · 39 min
Ep. 306: Two Union Stations in a Birthday Cake Flavored Typhoon
Alice took a big trip to Taiwan this past week, and she's back just in time to tell everyone about it. Except that she and Doug don't get around to doing that because the trip back home took a day and a half and was filled with schedule disturbance after schedule disturbance. And, really, that's bonkers on its own. So that'll be this episode. Wanna hear about the Taipei trip? Maybe come back next week. Wanna hear some crazy tales while just trying to make it home? Well, boy, are you in luck! Other discussion topics may include: - Families who fly united or not at all - Can you poison someone in the ear? - When your luggage has business in a different city than your destination - A push for street view night time photos - Baby delivering bus drivers
#305
August 4 · 57 min
Ep. 305: Two Crate Diggers in a Ronald Reagan Monkey Movie
This week on Going Terribly, Doug and Alice discuss some ice cream dishes that even they wouldn’t eat. Or, well, you’d think so. But Alice seemed strangely into a couple. Cold gravy on ice cream? She’s into it somehow. Elsewhere, can you distinguish Harlequin romance novels from old classic records? We’ll see if Alice can. Most important, it’s “It Went Terribly” week, which means it’s the one episode per month where you can actually (sort of) learn some stuff! Other discussion topics may include: - Hal O’Ween: Who’s that dude?- Did you know Dylan and Cole Sprouse are twins? - Oscar the Grouch's consistently delicious sardine ideas - How many fonts can you name? - Songs about crushes on friends' grandmothers
#304
July 28 · 42 min
Ep. 304: Two Poutine Appropriators in an Indonesian Adventure
Alice and Doug are back from an Indonesian fueled trip to Indianapolis (Indonesapolis?), followed by a Canadian themed get together. It’s been some international weekend. Plus, Alice had two brushes with American Girl Doll fate. It doesn’t end exactly how one might think, but it does end mighty happily! And Doug is still really into Huey Lewis and the News. And jokes about meat.* Other discussion topics may include: - Circumcised candy corn - Pointy fragrances - Sucking chocolate off a Milky Way to improve one’s onions - The abject horror of the durian - Sharing more of your meat than you planned (*see?)
#303
July 21 · 44 min
Ep. 303: Two Ice Cream Princesses in a Spaghetti Three-Way
Another annual Nation Alice Cream Day ice cream crawl has come and gone, and Doug and Alice are still around to tell the tale. What hijinks did the group get up to? What flavors and creations did they get their grubby little mouths around? Did all of the 30+ participants make it out alive? Find out the answers to all these questions and more in this week’s dairy-fueled episode. Other discussion topics may include: - Good old family fun vs. porn - If you see a clown get hit by a car, do you laugh? - Digsey, the Disney knockoff - Main Street: Vertical vs. Horizontal - Dairy Potter and the Deathly Marshmallows
#302
July 14 · 36 min
Ep. 302: Two Greek Freaklings in a Chickpea Pasta Marathon
Alice and Doug just finished a heavy weekend of yard saling and record shopping. And now they’re ready for their heavy weekend of creaming. Er. It's the seventh annual National Ice Cream Day ice cream crawl! Yes, it’s just about time for the greatest time of the year. A day to enjoy all the tastiness that Ronald Reagan would have wanted us to. It’s true. Other discussion topics may include: - Why doesn’t anybody talk about how great Marie Osmond is? - Farting “regular amounts” - The sad part in a romance novel when the dog dies - What if one of the Hansons left Hanson? - The various health benefits of contrast therapy that can benefit your health and wellness in a beneficial manner
#301
July 7 · 1 hr 4 min
Ep. 301: Two Master Butter Sculptors in a Puzzle Palace
Alice and Doug spent America’s 250th birthday watching a murder movie, saving a queen, and eating Japanese food. They also visited the animals they'd just eaten because the circle of life is really weird sometimes. They also got a boat over the weekend! But it's not as exciting as it sounds* Plus, what if you’re driving a train and you’re about to hit a person? What do you do? Find out now! Other discussion topics may include: - Pancake race lore - Geena Davis: Beetlejuice Creature - Dead skin snacks - Fake aquarium trains - Is it hard to gently use two fingers? *...or is it?
#300
June 30 · 1 hr 22 min
Ep. 300: Three Chocolate Covered "Carrots" in a Twice-Failed Utopia
They said it couldn't be done. They said "But how could you?" They said "But why would you?" They said "NO, SERIOUSLY, WHO'D EVEN WANT YOU TO?!" But it finally happened. Going Terribly has reached 300 episodes! Even this week's special guest Kevin Roach immediately questions the achievement. But he also claims to have a boner ghost in his apartment, so who asked him anyway? Kevin joins Alice and Doug to rock some of Going Terribly's greatest hits and more juvenile humor than you could shake a "stick" at. Here's to 300 more episodes of barely growing up. Other discussion topics may include: - Mummy gut bread - Shark Dad - Holy fallopian tubes - Stoned dolphins - Definitely not a bag full of drugs You know, the usual.
#299
June 23 · 42 min
Ep. 299: Two Indiana Hussies in a Macaroni Grille Funeral
Alice is back from a week away in Cincinnati, and she and Doug are determined to get this episode right. It may take them a few tries, but they’re going to get it, so please hang with them. Alice is bound to be a bit tired since she just finished scoring 1,600 essays. And Doug’s been very busy being not nearly as educated or well read. But he did just learn how to “exasturbate,” so that’s something. For better or worse. Other discussion topics must include: - Getting kicked in the stock for not STing the FU - Great anime, such as King of the Hill - Matt Damon's potato farm - The incredible fun of "Classic Works" BINGO" - Fine dining at GD Poon's
#298
June 16 · 31 min
Ep. 298: Two Great Wholes in a Murder Trip to New Orleans
It's an unplanned tribute to New Orleans! The history, the culture, the sites! - You won't find any mention of any of that here. Instead Alice and Doug chat about Mardi Gras penises, drunk actors, and librarians who...love...books. It's really just like any other episode, only with a decided Nawlins flavor. Other discussion topics may include: - Why is cartography still a discipline? - Enrique Iglesias's spouse would never jump in front of a train - Roommates that only one person can fit into - Music that's not as romantic as you think - Is it still okay to fantasize about tennis players?
#297
June 9 · 57 min
Ep. 297: Two Butter-Sculpted Cows in an Exploitation of Social Media
Alice, Doug, Eureka, and Hoover have returned from a week-long trip to visit Mrs. Shen. They had lots of meals - some long, some plentiful, and some of just desserts. So that part was a lot like home. They also visited some fun new museums, a waterfall, and saw…a vase of corn dogs? It was a real winner, and you can hear all about it in this episode. Though Doug didn’t get to see any dinosaurs. Other discussion topics may include: - Getting stuffed by one's cousin - The Proper Burger - Marks of a great seafood buffet, such as pudding - Supposed national "malls" that aren't malls at all - A pancake that will blow your nuts off
#296
June 2 · 47 min
Ep. 296: Two Hollywood Squirrels in a Pancake Day Race
Yesterday was National Game Show Day, so today Doug and Alice celebrate the only way they know - by playing a super dumb game worth absolutely zero prizes. But along the way you might just learn something about sundials, sister cities, and midwifery. But that’s Alice’s part. Doug is really stuck on the more immature game stuff like toilet buttons and cow turd cakes. Alex Trebek and Bob Barker are rolling over in their graves. Other discussion topics may include: - Diplomatic relationships between Ohio and Spain - A Beaver-run childcare facility - Physical challenges between man and beast - A shadow owes you because you give it life - Touching butts for the greater good

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