Society & CulturePersonal JournalsRelationships

giving (un)bothered

Alana Banks and Jelka Lepever

Two (un)bothered best friends navigating LGBTQ+ dating, friendships, and adulting in your 20s. Tune in for candid, unfiltered conversations on dating disasters, relationship advice, the ups and downs of friendships, and the rollercoaster of adulting. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or figuring it all out, join us each week for hilarious stories, relatable struggles, and the chaos of life in your 20s. Get ready for the real, messy, and entertaining moments that make adulting way more fun.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Play

Open in

20 episodes
Avg 46 min
English

Episodes 20

Newest Oldest Longest

All20 Unplayed20 In progress0 Played0

#59
June 10 · 56 min
emotional cheating, worst dating advice & soulmates
🚨 Is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating? Are soulmates real… or just a romantic myth? And should you tell your friend when you absolutely can't stand their partner? 👀 In this week’s episode, we're diving into some of the most controversial dating, relationship, and friendship topics that always start an argument. From emotional cheating and closure to love at first sight, queer dating, red flags, and soulmate theories, we're sharing our unfiltered opinions and putting each other to the test. 🎙️ Topics we debate: ✨ Is emotional cheating cheating? ✨ What's the worst dating advice you've ever heard? ✨ Should you tell your friend you hate their partner? ✨ Is closure overrated? ✨ Are soulmates real or fake? ✨ Should you share your dating history with your partner? ✨ Do opposites attract or should you date someone similar to you? ✨ Do queer relationships move too fast? ✨ Is the spark overrated? ✨ Is love at first sight real? Wet For Hear discount link: https://wetforher.com/WETFORUNBOTHERED DISCOUNT CODE: WETFORUNBOTHERED Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#58
May 13 · 33 min
sapphic toxic traits, dating icks & one-night stands
We’re back with another Truth or Drink… and this one got a little too honest 😅 From sapphic toxic traits to the most random (and very real) dating icks, plus everything that comes with one-night stands… nothing was off limits. We also get into the importance of being the hottest ex (because let’s be real, it matters.) So grab a drink, press play, and come get messy with us as we dive into queer dating, lesbian relationships, and all the red flag behaviour we pretend not to see 🍸 Find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#57
April 29 · 1 hr 6 min
lesbian history, queer media & coming out with Roxy Bourdillon
In today’s episode of giving (un)bothered, we sit down with Roxy Bourdillon, award-winning writer, author of What A Girl Wants: A (True) Story of Sexuality and Self-Discovery, and Editor-in-Chief of DIVA Magazine, the leading magazine for LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary people. Roxy has interviewed some huge names including Emma Stone, Rachel Weisz, and the cast of The L Word, co-hosted a podcast alongside Rachel Shelley (aka Helena Peabody), and presented a documentary for Virgin Radio called Butches, Femmes And Dykes Snogging On The Dancefloor: The Incredible True Story Of Lesbian Nightlife. We talk about Roxy's sexuality journey, self-discovery, lesbian history, working in queer media, the impact of representation, her experience leading DIVA Magazine, and what it was like writing her own book. We also dive into LGBTQ+ visibility, dating, identity, and why queer storytelling matters now more than ever. Find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Find Roxy on: - Instagram Find DIVA magazine on: - Instagram - Tiktok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#56
April 15 · 45 min
having a straight girl kink (with 2D2M) - part 2
In Part 2 with 2D2M, we’re getting into the chaos with our signature game “Bothered or Unbothered” and let’s just say… nothing is off limits. We’re talking: •Socks on or OFF during intimacy 👀 •Being the “experiment” in a girl’s sexuality •When she refuses to use toys •The craziest things we’ve been asked in bed 😭 •Feet kinks and our experiences •2 months in and still not exclusive 🚩 •When she doesn’t like your best friend… yeah, that one’s messy Find 2D2M on: Instagram Tiktok Youtube Find us on: Instagram Tiktok Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#55
April 1 · 44 min
s*x tapes, finding your identity & IKAG cancelled (with 2D2M) - part 1
This week on giving (un)bothered, things get very chaotic with Rose & Ellie from 2D2M (Two Dykes Two Mics) 💥 And this is only Part 1… 👀 Known for their unfiltered takes, they join us for an episode that completely spirals—in the best, most unhinged way possible. And honestly… nothing is off limits. We somehow end up diving into: - s*x tapes - why femmes get more hate in the queer community - dealing with hate comments & being perceived online - what dating looks like when people already “know” you - chaotic, real, way too relatable coming out stories - the struggle of figuring out your sexuality & identity - the drama around IKAG being cancelled - why we desperately need a queer Big Brother immediately Find 2D2M on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#54
March 18 · 33 min
sapphic signs you like her more than a friend
This week on giving (un)bothered, we’re exposing the real sapphic signs you like her more than a friend — from getting jealous (but pretending you’re chill), to fantasising about her in your dreams. Whether you’re in a queer situationship, catching unexpected feelings for a friend, or deep in your bisexual/lesbian awakening, we’re breaking it all down with chaotic honesty, personal stories, and the kind of call-outs that might just change your perspective. 🫶 In this episode: - Clear signs you have a crush on a girl - Sapphic attraction vs friendship explained - How to tell if you like her more than a friend Find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#53
March 4 · 30 min
Just a "Phase" : heated rivalry, s*x bucket list, wlw dirty talk
Season 3 is HERE and we’re starting messy, heated, and unapologetically. In this episode of giving (un)bothered, we spiral over our obsession with Heated Rivalry, unpack the tension, the chemistry, and why we can’t stop thinking about it 👀 Then we turn up the chaos playing Just a “Phase”, the queer card game by Ali Saarela, answering all your burning questions about dating,intimacy, friendships, dirty talk, and everything inbetween. Find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#52
Dec 24, 2025 · 58 min
sapphic dating wrapped & etsy witch soulmate reading
As 2025 comes to a close, we’re unwrapping our sapphic dating lives. Think of it as the ultimate end-of-year recap, but messier. In this episode, we dive into our personal “Dating Unwrapped” stats: the unforgettable highs, the total disasters, awkward first dates, unexpected sparks, and everything in between. From ghosting fails to swoon-worthy moments, we’re sharing what this year really taught us about love, lust, and all the chaos that comes with modern queer dating. And because we can’t resist a little magic, we’re also getting a soulmate reading from an Etsy witch: will it predict our future loves? Or just give us a good laugh? Either way, buckle up for stories, laughs, cringe-worthy confessions, and maybe a sprinkle of hope for 2026. Find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#51
Dec 10, 2025 · 42 min
the L word debrief : loving Bette Porter is a red flag
This week on giving (un)bothered, we’re deep-diving into The L Word — the iconic, chaotic, ahead-of-its-time series that transformed queer TV history and paved the way for modern LGBTQ+ representation in media. If you’ve ever searched for The L Word analysis, character breakdowns, or why this show still has such a cultural grip, this episode is for you. We get into everything: ✨ The L Word characters we relate to most: the personalities and storylines that still hit today 🔥 The L Word characters we dislike: the ones who continue to divide fans 💖 The best L Word couples and the love stories that live rent-free in our minds 🤨 The weirdest dynamics and plotlines, because no show is messier in the best way. 🚀 Why the show was so ahead of its time and its lasting influence on queer storytelling. We also touch on the hype around Wicked Part 2, sharing our thoughts and reactions after watching the movie! Find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#50
Nov 26, 2025 · 37 min
surviving long distance relationships : facetime dates, communication & staying independent
Long-distance relationships are NOT for the weak and on today’s episode, we’re unpacking everything that keeps a long distance relationship alive… and everything that can ruin it. From FaceTime dates, to over-communicating vs. under-communicating, to figuring out how to stay independent while still being obsessed with your partner. We’re breaking down the real, unfiltered LDR experience. If you're navigating a queer long-distance relationship, thinking about starting one, or deep into those “I miss you” spirals… this episode is your comfort listen. 💕📱✈️ find us on: - Instagram - Tiktok - Youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#49
Nov 12, 2025 · 1 hr 1 min
lesbian s*x for dummies: labels in the bedroom (with Katie from Labeless)
We sit down with Katie, founder of queer-owned s*x toy company Labeless, to unpack labels in the bedroom: top, bottom, pillow princess, and everything in between. Plus, our first experiences with women and the awkward truth about visiting a s*x shop for the first time. Find us on: Instagram: @giving.unbothered Tiktok: @giving.unbothered Youtube: @givingunbothered Find Labeless on: Instagram: @labelessuk Tiktok: @labelessuk queer podcast, lgbtq podcast, lesbian stories, queer intimacy, queer dating Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#48
Oct 29, 2025 · 36 min
truth or drink: sapphic age gaps & getting caught having s*x
We’re back with another Truth or Drink, and things got way too real. From sapphic fantasies to virginity stories we probably shouldn’t have shared, this one’s pure chaos in the best way. Grab a drink and dive into the mess of queer dating, lesbian love, and our very own red flag behaviour 🌶️ Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships #wlw #lesbianpodcast #sapphic LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, queer dating mistakes, WLW relationship advice, I kissed a girl, IKAG, jojo siwa, gillian anderson, scream, dating red flags, intimacy, age gap relationships Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#47
Oct 15, 2025 · 42 min
gold star lesbians, baby gays & heartbreak advice
We’re answering your questions about gold star lesbians, baby gays, and queer heartbreak. Real listener confessions, breakup advice, and chaotic first-date stories: unfiltered and very gay. 🌈💔 Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#46
Oct 1, 2025 · 25 min
lesbian hot takes : why do lesbians sleep with their friends?
We’re back, season 2 of giving (un)bothered is here! 🎉 And we’re starting off strong with lesbian hot takes: all the unfiltered, spicy opinions you’ve been thinking (but maybe not saying out loud). From controversial takes on queer dating to the unspoken truths about lesbian friendships and community dynamics, we’re laying it all on the table. 💌 Don’t forget to subscribe and drop your hottest take in the comments Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, queer dating mistakes, lesbian situationships, lesbian dating mistakes, lesbian love signals, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#45
Jul 30, 2025 · 44 min
sapphic red flags : how to get over your first crush
Your first lesbian crush? Been there. Obsessed? Absolutely. Over it? …Eventually. In this episode, we dive deep into the sapphic red flags you should run from (👀), the ones we controversially find kinda hot (don’t judge us), and the emotional chaos of getting over your first lesbian crush. From the seductive mystery of a girl who lovebombs just enough to keep you hooked, to the heartbreak of someone who wants girlfriend treatment but won’t commit — we’ve seen it all. We’re unpacking the most common red flags in queer dating, like hot-and-cold texting, exes who never fully exit the chat, and intense jealousy disguised as passion. And yes, we also admit the red flags that, controversially, we still find kind of hot (hello, “healthy” possessiveness 👀). Whether you’re spiraling over a situationship, confused by your crush’s mixed signals, or trying to heal after your first real queer heartbreak, this episode is your survival guide to lesbian relationships, emotional growth, and choosing peace over chaos (eventually). Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, sapphic relationships, sapphic intimacy, WLW dating advice, sapphic stories, dating stories, how to get over your crush Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#44
Jul 23, 2025 · 25 min
let’s get naked: sexting, strapping & bedroom icks
In this unfiltered and hilarious episode, we’re getting real about what happens behind closed doors. From sexting fails to our biggest bedroom icks, nothing is off-limits. We dive into the juicy debate: fingering, scissoring or strapping – which one hits the spot? 👀 Plus, we’re talking threesomes, swinging, and what turns us on vs. what sends us running. Whether you're queer, curious, or just here for the chaotic honesty, this episode is your go-to for sex-positive, queer-centered conversations. Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, sapphic relationships, sapphic intimacy, WLW dating advice, sapphic stories, dating stories Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#43
Jul 16, 2025 · 1 hr 21 min
navigating long distance relationships (with Kelsey & Becky)
In this episode, we dive deep into the highs and lows of long-distance relationships. We’re joined by Kelsey and Becky, a couple who fell in love 5,000 miles apart after matching on Hinge — and yes, there was a ghosting plot twist 👀 From navigating a transatlantic relationship (UK to LA) to their first in-person meeting, we unpack how they’re making long-distance love work. We talk conflict resolution, healthy communication in long-distance relationships, building trust across time zones, and the realities no one warns you about. Whether you're in a long-distance relationship, thinking about starting one, or just love a good modern-day love story, this episode is full of honest insights, relationship advice, and a real look at what it takes to stay connected when you're worlds apart. Find Kelsey & Becky on: Instagram: ⁠@kelseyandbecky Tiktok: ⁠@kelseyandbecky Youtube: ⁠@kelseyandbecky Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, sapphic relationships, sapphic intimacy, WLW dating advice, sapphic stories, dating stories, jojo siwa, chappell roan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#42
Jul 9, 2025 · 58 min
we got ghosted by the same girl?! WLW dating horror stories (with Amy Pozzilli)
This week, we're joined by our friend Amy to talk all things heartbreak, healing, and sapphic dating chaos. Amy shares how she rebuilt her confidence, stepped back into dating, and how it felt getting ghosted by the same girl as co-host Alana 👀💔 We unpack red flags, WLW dating patterns, navigating trust after betrayal, and what healing really looks like. We also dive into spiritual healing after a breakup and the surprising ways energy work, intuition, and astrology can support healing. Whether you've been ghosted, cheated on, or you're trying to date again after heartbreak—this one's for you. Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, sapphic relationships, sapphic intimacy, WLW dating advice, psychic reading Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#41
Jul 2, 2025 · 37 min
building a happy queer marriage (with Megan Elliott-Hewson)
In this episode, we sit down with queer writer, artist, and pottery studio owner Megan Elliott-Hewson to dive into the beauty and complexity of queer marriage, building a life in creative partnership, and the unfiltered truth about writing queer fiction. 👉 We talk: 💍 The honest reality of queer marriage 🖋️ Writing queer novels in a straight-centered industry 🫖 Creating safe, soft spaces through queer pottery classes 💬 Finding love, art, and community as a queer woman Find Megan Elliott-Hewson on: Instagram: @meganelliotthewson Clay wild studio Instagram: @claywildstudio Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships #queermarriage LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, sapphic relationships, sapphic intimacy, WLW dating advice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
#40
Jun 25, 2025 · 1 hr 7 min
Hinge's love expert Moe Ari Brown on queer dating trends, label fatigue & identity pressure
In this episode, we’re joined by Moe Ari Brown (they / him) —Hinge’s Love & Connection Expert and a licensed therapist—to dive deep into the complexities of queer dating in 2025. We talk about everything from label fatigue to performance pressure on dating apps, and what Hinge has learned about how LGBTQ+ people swipe, flirt, and connect differently than straight users. Moe shares insights on: How queer users are moving away from traditional identity labels What it means to perform queerness on apps, often without realising it Why the pressure to be “dateable” can lead to self-erasure What underrated green flags to look for in queer dating How non-binary and gender-expansive users navigate a still-binary app culture We also ask Moe for practical advice on building a more authentic dating profile, understanding identity ambiguity, and flirting past stereotypes like “soft masc” and “femme top.” Read Hinge’s 2025 LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E report (love beyonds labels): https://hinge.co/newsroom/2025-LGBTQ-Report Find Moe Ari Brown on: Instagram: @loveoutproud Tiktok: @loveoutproud Find us on: Instagram: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Tiktok: ⁠@giving.unbothered⁠ Youtube: ⁠@givingunbothered⁠ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #podcasts #relationships #intimacy #datingpodcast #dating #datingandrelationships LGBTQ podcast, queer podcast, dating podcast, lesbian podcast, WLW podcast, queer dating advice, WLW relationship advice, signs a woman is interested in you romantically, why do i keep questioning my sexuality, WLW relationships, queer dating, sapphic relationships, sapphic intimacy, WLW dating advice, Hinge, hinge green flag, hinge red flag, label fatigue, identity pressure Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Showing 1–20 of 20 episodes