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Girlscamp

Hayley Rawle

I deconstructed my Mormon faith down to the bone—and when my dad died, the deconstruction shit really hit the fan. Now, Girlscamp isn’t just about what’s fallen apart, but about exploring what might come next.

Around the campfire, we’ll swap stories from life after faith shifts, laugh at the quirks of high-demand religion, and dig into the ways Mormonism shows up in our culture—from pop culture and art to media and everyday life. I’ll also sit down with voices ranging from therapists to philosophers to everyday people reimagining belief, as we tackle what it means to live, love, grieve, and grow once certainty is gone.

Honest, curious, and a little irreverent—because that’s what Girlscamp is all about.

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  • 28 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 54 min
  • English

Episodes 28

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  • Wednesday · 1 hr 3 min

    Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 5: Ex-Mormon Recap & Reaction

    It’s that time again! We’ve got another chaotic season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives to unpack, and I’m breaking it all down from my perspective as a former Mormon wife. We’re diving into why Taylor Frankie Paul needs to get off the show, that wild comment from Mayci’s older sister, McCall, and the ways Mormon programming played into the end of Layla and Mason’s relationship. I’m also sharing my thoughts on the Zac and Jen baby blessing drama and why I think they’re still struggling so hard in their untraditional dynamic. REFERENCES McCall DaPron dancing video Girlscamp: Homecoming live show tickets ⁠here⁠ Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $100 off Try Earlybird here, code Hayley20 for 20% off Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 9 · 1 hr 9 min

    Religion Off the Rails

    It’s time for one of my favorite types of episodes: reading your wildest religious stories. Today, we’re diving into Ted Bundy’s bizarre stint in Mormonism, a UK reverend threatening six-year-olds, people praying over Utah dirty sodas and a deeply spiritual testimony about a Margherita pizza. Grab your holy water, because we are officially going off the rails. Girlscamp: Homecoming live show tickets Gabby Bryan baptisms for the dead bit Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $100 off Try Earlybird here, code Hayley20 for 20% off Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 6 · 1 min

    *TEASER* Sunday Check-In: Threesomes, Mormon Cringe & More

    Happy Sunday! I decided to do this week's Sunday check-in here on Patreon, where I can be more open and unfiltered. I'm responding to your submissions—including my thoughts on threesomes, my cringiest Mormon phase, advice for a baby-naming crisis, and my current hyperfixation. I'm also talking a bit about how things are feeling in LA, now that we're coming up on four months since the move. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 2 · 1 hr 21 min

    Permission to Start Over with Zoe Lazerson

    It was so lovely to chat with today’s guest, Zoe Lazerson, about the times in life she’s made the difficult choice to start over: when rejecting the Mormon life path expected by her community and when ending two long-term relationships. We talk about the similarities between leaving a relationship and a religion, her unorthodox, mixed-faith family upbringing in Utah, and her current spiritual philosophy on life. Try Earlybird microdose TCH gummies here, code Hayley20 for 20% off. Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $56/month. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 26 · 1 hr 24 min

    Eating Disorders, Mormonism & The Road Back to Myself with Clara Henrie

    Content warning: This episode includes discussion of eating disorders and eating disorder recovery. Today, Clara Henrie bravely shares her story of eating disorder recovery, particularly where it intertwines with her Mormon faith deconstruction. We discuss the ways high-demand religions can exacerbate eating disorders and the specific Mormon doctrines that Clara felt contributed to her experience. Most poignantly, Clara talks about ultimately choosing herself—in leaving Mormonism, in eating disorder recovery, and in the next chapter of her life. Clara’s Instagram National Alliance for Eating Disorders Hotline The National Eating Disorders Association Website Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 19 · 1 hr 3 min

    An Ex-Mormon Tries Unitarian Universalism

    I went to church this Sunday of my own free will. You read that right! I took a microdose mushroom gummy on Saturday, went down a Unitarian Universalist internet rabbit hole, and then had to go check it out for myself the next morning. As you can imagine, I felt and thought a lot of things, and I’m excited to share them all with you 🤍 EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their @bellesaco order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Use code HAYLEY20 for 20% off your order of Earlybird CBD. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 12 · 1 hr

    Am I Glad I Went on a Mormon Mission?

    Ten years after returning home from my Mormon mission, I’m finally answering whether I’m glad I went—and exploring why that’s such a complicated thing to answer. I also share submissions from fellow returned missionaries about how they feel looking back on their own missions. Their responses are all across the board and open up so many thought-provoking conversations about how we make sense of an experience that shaped us in significant ways, even if it was (at best) a mixed-bag. Tara Herbert episode EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their @bellesaco order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 9 · 2 min

    *TEASER* God's Mad at Me

    Due to some recent life events, I kind of think that if there is a God, he’s mad at me. So reading and unpacking Louise Glück’s The Wild Iris was particularly cathartic. I loved sitting with her anger at God, God’s often cold responses back, and the plants and flowers that speak their own unique lessons throughout the book. Along the way, I also learned a lot about poetry as a genre, share the beginnings of a poem I’m working on, and read a couple of poems from you. Turns out poetry is a pretty good place to put your existential crises! You can listen the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 5 · 1 hr 17 min

    How Language Shapes What We Believe with Amanda Montell

    I'm thrilled to have sociolinguist Amanda Montell joining us to talk about the power of language in shaping what we believe—whether those beliefs are religious, political, cultural or even about ourselves. As a gigantic fan of Amanda's work on Wordslut and Cultish, it was such a delight to hear her apply her expertise to Mormon-specific jargon, speech patterns and culture. We discuss everything from "Relief Society voice" and swearing to vocal fry, the MAGA movement and girl talk. Turns out, this whole episode is girl talk. That’s why I think you’re going to love it. Amanda Montell Amanda Montell Instagram Wordslut Cultish EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their @bellesaco order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 29 · 1 hr 4 min

    When Dreams Mean Something ☽

    I asked you to share your most meaningful dream experiences and naturally ended up crying on my couch reading through them. These stories include poignant visits from dead loved ones, dreams that seemed to reveal truths, confirm life decisions, or offer wisdom at just the right time, a few uncanny coincidences, and, of course, some that are just plain funny. I also give a quick-and-dirty overview of where dreams fit in Mormon and Christian theology. Whatever you believe about dreams, I think you’ll find these fascinating. Dream on 🌙 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 22 · 1 hr 12 min

    Childfree by Choice (Despite a Mormon Upbringing) with Abigail Porter

    Abigail Porter, better known online as "The Girl with the List," joins me to talk about deconstructing motherhood—especially after growing up Mormon. We discuss the messages society and religion often send women about motherhood as their highest purpose, and how Abigail unpacked those beliefs to arrive at her decision to be child-free. She also shares what she loves about the child-free life, the pushback she's received for speaking openly about her decision online, and the misconceptions women without children often face. Along the way, we explore her viral "List," reproductive autonomy, and what it looks like to choose a different path than the one you were always told you were supposed to want. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. REFERENCES Abigail’s Instagram Abigail’s TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 15 · 1 hr 7 min

    IVF Made Me Question God

    I've been meaning to tell this story for a long time. This is my infertility journey that ultimately led to the birth of my now four-year-old twin daughters. We cover the practical side: infertility treatments, my endometriosis diagnosis, and why we decided to transfer two embryos. But I also get into the parts that are harder to talk about: how infertility shook my Mormon faith, made me question God, and forced me to untangle so much of my identity and worth as a woman. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 14 · 1 min

    *TEASER* Catalytic Converters & Death Row Meals

    I recruited Bentley to answer some "boyfriend questions," and our conversation ended up in some unexpected places. We discuss our death row meals, where we'd look for each other if we went missing for 24 hours, our stolen catalytic converter, how we're settling into life in our new LA rental, a little relationship check-in, and plenty of other tangents along the way. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 8 · 1 hr 5 min

    All-American Religion

    If there's one thing to say about Mormonism, it's that it's distinctly American. My Mormon deconstruction both mirrored and informed my deconstruction of American exceptionalism. In honor of America's 250th anniversary, I'm breaking down how I feel about this country now, the ways Mormonism shaped my view of America, and what it was like to untangle the two. Everyone who signs up to my giveaway wins either a free WhisperVibe™ or a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTech™ purchase! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • July 1 · 1 hr 5 min

    Annoyed (At Moral Outrage & Other Things)

    I'm annoyed! By a creator freaking out that Toy Story spotlighted Jessie over Woody and Buzz, for starters, and by a lot of other things too. I had you write in what you're annoyed about, and we've got a great lineup of grievances: in-laws acting weird, returned Mormon missionaries being presumptuous, parents letting their kids go crazy, influencers filming themselves walking, and more. Some I agree with, some I'm torn about. Can't wait to discuss. The Toy Story Instagram post Robin Morgan TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 24 · 1 hr 16 min

    Outside of Utah, Things Look Different

    In this catch-up episode, I'm sharing some shifts in my perspectives I've been noticing after our first month in LA. Then we jump into a little bit of everything: the ethics of porn, a racist comment recently made by a Mormon general authority, Jen Affleck's fourth pregnancy announcement, a few thoughts on Love Island, and what has struck me about the way Utah Mormon adults socialize compared to almost everyone else. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 17 · 53 min

    Girls Kissing Girls at Girls' Camp

    In honor of Pride Month, I’m reading your stories of when queerness and religion collide. There are stories of finding love despite church community pushback, first crushes, forbidden feelings, queer awakenings, and figuring yourself out in religious spaces. There are also a lot of girls kissing girls: mission companions, YSA ward friends, and fellow campers at Girls’ Camp. We love to see it. And we love love 🏳️‍🌈 Conversion Therapy to Drag Diva episode with Meredith Peterson Sister Missionaries Turned Lovers episode EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway with @bellesaco will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 14 · 3 min

    *TEASER* Was Jesus Gay?

    When I saw this theory in my comment section this week, my interest was immediately piqued: what if Jesus was queer? While we don't have enough evidence to know for sure, this theory led me down some very interesting rabbit holes and thought lanes that I'm excited to travel again with you. Then I share some updates: a life-changing Korean spa experience in the nude, my new love for a very specific coffee drink, and how things are feeling in California. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 10 · 1 hr 12 min

    The Religious OCD Diva with Jane Beeson

    Self-proclaimed OCDiva Jane Beeson joins me today to talk about experiencing religious OCD inside Mormonism. We discuss the ways Mormonism fueled the OCD fire, as well as the beliefs, language, and values she's had to unpack since leaving the church and beginning her OCD recovery journey. You can find Jane on Instagram, TikTok and Spotify. Reclaim your faith with NOCD. Book a free 15 minute call here to get started. Use code HAYLEY20 for 20% off your order at Earlybird. Join the Girlscamp: Unplugged account at https://www.patreon.com/c/Girlscamp For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram @girlscamppodcast & TikTok @hayleyrawle. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • June 3 · 1 hr 8 min

    Mormon Rules Are Weird with Alyssa Grenfell

    No better person to break down the weird world of Mormon rules with than Alyssa Grenfell. Alyssa and I dive into everything from coffee and garments to rated-R movies, gender roles, and ear piercings, unpacking what these rules say about Mormonism, where they came from, and how they've changed over time. Alyssa shares what kind of rule follower she was, the Mormon rules she thinks are most likely to change next, and why some rules seem to matter more than others. Mormonism doesn't rule... but it definitely has a lot of rules. Alyssa’s first Girlscamp episode Church Instagram post about man supporting his wife as a doctor Alyssa on YouTube Alyssa on Instagram Alyssa on TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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