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Girlscamp

Hayley Rawle

I deconstructed my Mormon faith down to the bone—and when my dad died, the deconstruction shit really hit the fan. Now, Girlscamp isn’t just about what’s fallen apart, but about exploring what might come next.

Around the campfire, we’ll swap stories from life after faith shifts, laugh at the quirks of high-demand religion, and dig into the ways Mormonism shows up in our culture—from pop culture and art to media and everyday life. I’ll also sit down with voices ranging from therapists to philosophers to everyday people reimagining belief, as we tackle what it means to live, love, grieve, and grow once certainty is gone.

Honest, curious, and a little irreverent—because that’s what Girlscamp is all about.

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  • 39 episodes
  • Avg 50 min
  • English

Episodes 39

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  • Wednesday · 1 hr 4 min

    Faith Deconstruction Themes in You Can See Everything

    Watching You Can See Everything as an ex-Mormon reminded me of how reality-bending it is to leave religion. In this episode, I dig into the slippery nature of truth. I explore how reality—both in the movie and within religion—is often shaped by semantics, and I draw parallels between Elizabeth Holmes and LDS leadership. Plus, I share insider info about Billy Evans’s Mormon past. Thread with Elizabeth Holmes facts The Bible deep dive episode I mentioned The Symbiotic Narcissism of “You Can See Everything” by Ijeoma Oluo What We Were Never Asked to See by Kate Mann Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • November 1 · 3 min

    *TEASER* Privacy? Never Heard of Her

    To share, or not to share, that is the question. This episode is a BTS look at how I figure out the what, when, and why behind what I post on Girlscamp. Next Wednesday, I'm sharing a personal experience on the main feed for the first time ever. Because of that, I've been thinking a ton about how to speak my piece without crossing into oversharing territory. I’m also diving into a quick Halloween recap, an update on LA living, and a health/diagnosis update that might be on the horizon for me. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • October 28 · 57 min

    Missionary Apartment of Horrors

    If this scary stories episode teaches us anything, it’s that Mormon missions over-index in horrifying occurrences. In addition to many spooky mission stories, I’m also reading your tales of ghost encounters, synced up nightmares, haunted objects and more. Happy Halloween, campers! You can try Earlybird here, use code Hayley20 for 20% off your order. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • October 21 · 1 hr 7 min

    Confessions of a Recovering AI-aholic

    Continuing our October run of spooky episode topics, we’re talking about generative AI 👻 I start with a confession about my own past ChatGPT use and then get into all the reasons I think we should steer clear of chatbots as best we can. Generative AI and not saying “I don’t know” video Try Desire here with code Girlscamp for $100 off Try Earlybird here with code Hayley20 for 20% off Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • October 18 · 3 min

    *TEASER* Backrooms Recap: Mormon Liminal Spaces & Religious Trauma Reckoning

    I finally watched Backrooms and (no surprise!) made some Mormon connections. I'm recapping the movie and sharing my takeaways around processing trauma, particularly of the religious sort. I'm also talking about why many Mormon spaces fit the liminal space aesthetic. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • October 14 · 1 hr 4 min

    Ghosts, But the Good Kind

    One of my favorite annual episodes is here… I’m sharing your good ghost stories! We’re talking about friendly house ghosts, deceased grandparents showing up right when they’re needed and sacred signs from the other realm. Try ⁠Desire here⁠ with code Girlscamp for $100 off ⁠Earlybird gummies here⁠ with code Hayley20 for 20% off your order Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • October 7 · 1 hr 1 min

    Ted Bundy, Baptized Mormon

    Yep! Ted Bundy was a full-blown Mormon. Today I'm telling you how he joined, what his Mormonism may have meant to him and what I think him joining says about Mormonism. Spilling the Mormon Temple Secrets on YouTube Spilling the Mormon Temple Secrets podcast PostMormon PostMortem Cults to Consciousness Ted Bundy episode Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • October 5 · 3 min

    *TEASER* My Idea of Perfect Happiness

    Today I'm answering the 20 self-reflection questions of the Proust Questionnaire, including my idea of perfect happiness, the trait I most deplore in myself, the living person I most despise, and what I consider my greatest achievement. Join me in some self-reflecting? You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 30 · 1 hr 4 min

    The Black Sheep Back in Utah

    I went back to Utah for the first time since moving to LA, and it was a mixed bag of emotions. Today, I'm talking about the good and the bad of being back, my first-ever Girlscamp live show, being seated next to a Mormon stake president on a plane, why I want to ditch social media entirely, and a note on 'surprise' pregnancies. Dr. Julie Hanks on Girlscamp Ms Meredith on Girlscamp Elizabeth Gilbert Ted Talk Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 23 · 1 hr 3 min

    Religion WAY Off the Rails

    In this wild card religious stories part 2 episode, things get even crazier than the first round. We’re talking about spiritual coercion to “speak in tongues”, religious justification for taking away women’s right to vote and a dog poop brownie virtue lesson. And that’s just a taste. I also end up ranting about politics, what else is new? Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $100 off Try Earlybird here, code Hayley20 for 20% off Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 20 · 1 min

    *TEASER* Friendships: Keeping Them, Making Them & Breaking Them

    We’re talking all things friendship! I share about my friendship situation in California, what I think makes for healthy long-term friendships, how to make new friends and give an update on my big friendship breakup of a couple years ago. You can listen to the whole episode at the Girlscamp: Unplugged podcast here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 16 · 1 hr 3 min

    Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 5: Ex-Mormon Recap & Reaction

    It’s that time again! We’ve got another chaotic season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives to unpack, and I’m breaking it all down from my perspective as a former Mormon wife. We’re diving into why Taylor Frankie Paul needs to get off the show, that wild comment from Mayci’s older sister, McCall, and the ways Mormon programming played into the end of Layla and Mason’s relationship. I’m also sharing my thoughts on the Zac and Jen baby blessing drama and why I think they’re still struggling so hard in their untraditional dynamic. REFERENCES McCall DaPron dancing video Girlscamp: Homecoming live show tickets ⁠here⁠ Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $100 off Try Earlybird here, code Hayley20 for 20% off Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 9 · 1 hr 9 min

    Religion Off the Rails

    It’s time for one of my favorite types of episodes: reading your wildest religious stories. Today, we’re diving into Ted Bundy’s bizarre stint in Mormonism, a UK reverend threatening six-year-olds, people praying over Utah dirty sodas and a deeply spiritual testimony about a Margherita pizza. Grab your holy water, because we are officially going off the rails. Girlscamp: Homecoming live show tickets Gabby Bryan baptisms for the dead bit Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $100 off Try Earlybird here, code Hayley20 for 20% off Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 6 · 1 min

    *TEASER* Sunday Check-In: Threesomes, Mormon Cringe & More

    Happy Sunday! I decided to do this week's Sunday check-in here on Patreon, where I can be more open and unfiltered. I'm responding to your submissions—including my thoughts on threesomes, my cringiest Mormon phase, advice for a baby-naming crisis, and my current hyperfixation. I'm also talking a bit about how things are feeling in LA, now that we're coming up on four months since the move. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • September 2 · 1 hr 21 min

    Permission to Start Over with Zoe Lazerson

    It was so lovely to chat with today’s guest, Zoe Lazerson, about the times in life she’s made the difficult choice to start over: when rejecting the Mormon life path expected by her community and when ending two long-term relationships. We talk about the similarities between leaving a relationship and a religion, her unorthodox, mixed-faith family upbringing in Utah, and her current spiritual philosophy on life. Try Earlybird microdose TCH gummies here, code Hayley20 for 20% off. Try Desire here, code GirlsCamp for $56/month. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 26 · 1 hr 24 min

    Eating Disorders, Mormonism & The Road Back to Myself with Clara Henrie

    Content warning: This episode includes discussion of eating disorders and eating disorder recovery. Today, Clara Henrie bravely shares her story of eating disorder recovery, particularly where it intertwines with her Mormon faith deconstruction. We discuss the ways high-demand religions can exacerbate eating disorders and the specific Mormon doctrines that Clara felt contributed to her experience. Most poignantly, Clara talks about ultimately choosing herself—in leaving Mormonism, in eating disorder recovery, and in the next chapter of her life. Clara’s Instagram National Alliance for Eating Disorders Hotline The National Eating Disorders Association Website Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 19 · 1 hr 3 min

    An Ex-Mormon Tries Unitarian Universalism

    I went to church this Sunday of my own free will. You read that right! I took a microdose mushroom gummy on Saturday, went down a Unitarian Universalist internet rabbit hole, and then had to go check it out for myself the next morning. As you can imagine, I felt and thought a lot of things, and I’m excited to share them all with you 🤍 EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their @bellesaco order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Use code HAYLEY20 for 20% off your order of Earlybird CBD. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 12 · 1 hr

    Am I Glad I Went on a Mormon Mission?

    Ten years after returning home from my Mormon mission, I’m finally answering whether I’m glad I went—and exploring why that’s such a complicated thing to answer. I also share submissions from fellow returned missionaries about how they feel looking back on their own missions. Their responses are all across the board and open up so many thought-provoking conversations about how we make sense of an experience that shaped us in significant ways, even if it was (at best) a mixed-bag. Tara Herbert episode EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their @bellesaco order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 9 · 2 min

    *TEASER* God's Mad at Me

    Due to some recent life events, I kind of think that if there is a God, he’s mad at me. So reading and unpacking Louise Glück’s The Wild Iris was particularly cathartic. I loved sitting with her anger at God, God’s often cold responses back, and the plants and flowers that speak their own unique lessons throughout the book. Along the way, I also learned a lot about poetry as a genre, share the beginnings of a poem I’m working on, and read a couple of poems from you. Turns out poetry is a pretty good place to put your existential crises! You can listen the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  • August 5 · 1 hr 17 min

    How Language Shapes What We Believe with Amanda Montell

    I'm thrilled to have sociolinguist Amanda Montell joining us to talk about the power of language in shaping what we believe—whether those beliefs are religious, political, cultural or even about ourselves. As a gigantic fan of Amanda's work on Wordslut and Cultish, it was such a delight to hear her apply her expertise to Mormon-specific jargon, speech patterns and culture. We discuss everything from "Relief Society voice" and swearing to vocal fry, the MAGA movement and girl talk. Turns out, this whole episode is girl talk. That’s why I think you’re going to love it. Amanda Montell Amanda Montell Instagram Wordslut Cultish EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their @bellesaco order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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