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"Girl, I've been thinking"

Monica Cotolan

Girl, I’ve been thinking…

This podcast is for the woman who feels awake — but restless. Who’s tired of performing healing and ready to be honest instead.

Hosted by Monica Cotolan, Girl, I’ve Been Thinking is an intimate, unfiltered podcast about identity, emotional patterns, self-betrayal, and becoming the person your life is asking for.

No motivation. No fluff.

Just conversations that feel like a mirror.

If you’re ready to stop circling your potential and actually meet yourself, press play.

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20 episodes
Avg 25 min
English

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Episodes 20

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August 13 · 26 min
The Woman You Become When You’re Trying to Be Loved
Listen to this before entering a relationship. Or before losing yourself in the one you’re already in. Because sometimes we don’t lose ourselves all at once. We do it slowly. We become more agreeable, less “difficult,” less intense… and slowly start choosing the relationship over ourselves. In this episode, we’re talking about how to love someone without abandoning your dreams, your identity, or the parts of you that make you you. Stay connected: Instagram @monica_cotolan @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast For collaborations or private inquiries: cotolanmonica41@gmail.com If this podcast resonates, share it with a woman who needs to hear it. Support the show
June 11 · 22 min
Your Nervous System Is Addicted to the Old Story
You can’t create a new life with a nervous system that’s still loyal to the old one. In this episode, you’ll learn why you keep repeating the same patterns , and how to begin rewriting the story your body has been carrying for years. Stay connected: Instagram @monica_cotolan @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast For collaborations or private inquiries: cotolanmonica41@gmail.com If this podcast resonates, share it with a someone who needs to hear it. Support the show
April 30 · 19 min
The Toxic Side of ‘Healing’ No One Talks About
You think you’re healing. But what if you’re just… performing it? In this episode, I’m calling out the version of “healing” that looks good on the surface like love, light, high vibes ,but quietly avoids the real work. The suppressed anger. The hidden jealousy. The parts of you you don’t want to admit are there. Because real healing isn’t about becoming better. It’s about becoming honest. Are you actually healing… or just getting better at hiding? Stay connected: Instagram @monica_cotolan @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast For collaborations or private inquiries: cotolanmonica41@gmail.com If this podcast resonates, share it with a woman who needs to hear it. Support the show
April 9 · 26 min
How to Move On After a Breakup or Ghosting (When You Didn’t Get Closure)
You don’t miss them. You miss what you thought it could be. That’s why you keep going back ,even when it’s over. In this episode, we talk about: •why you feel stuck after a breakup or ghosting •why closure isn’t coming •how to actually let go and move on If you’re tired of overthinking, checking, and waiting for answers…this is for you. DM me “MOVE ON” on Instagram if you’re ready to finally break the cycle. Follow & connect Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast Support the show
#6
March 26 · 47 min
he was cute until he wasn’t
subtle icks that instantly kill attraction . The ick. I asked women online. They didn’t hold back. It’s always something small. And then it’s over. Follow & connect Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast Support the show
#5
March 19 · 27 min
What If You’re the Red Flag ?… And You Don’t Know It?
What if the reason your relationships keep ending the same way… isn’t just them? In this episode, we’re talking about the patterns nobody wants to admit: falling for potential, overthinking texts, needing clarity too soon, and slowly losing yourself in someone you barely know. This one might feel like a personal attack. But it might also change your entire dating life. Follow & connect Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast Support the show
#4
March 12 · 25 min
Why Some People Move On So Fast After a Breakup
Some people move on quickly after a breakup. Others barely survive the silence. In this episode I break down the pattern known as monkey-barring , when someone jumps from one relationship straight into another without ever sitting in the space between. And why it can feel so personal when it happens to you. Through a story from my own 7-year relationship, I explore the pattern of people who are always “in love,” the panic that can show up after a breakup, and what it really means when someone replaces connection with relief. This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered: Did they actually move on… or were they just afraid to be alone? Follow & connect Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast Support the show
S3 · E3
March 6 · 28 min
Why Being Replaced Hurts So Much
Being replaced can make you question your entire worth. One moment you’re part of someone’s life … and the next it feels like you’ve been swapped out like you never mattered. And suddenly the question appears: “Was I just… replaceable?” In this episode, we explore why being replaced hurts so deeply and the psychological trap our mind falls into after rejection. Because the most painful part is often not what happened … but the meaning we attach to it. We talk about: • why being replaced triggers humiliation and self-doubt • the dangerous story your brain tells after someone moves on fast • why some people replace instead of repair • how to stop turning someone else’s behavior into your identity • and the reframe that helps you stop feeling disposable Being replaced doesn’t mean you weren’t special. Sometimes it simply means you were in a place where special things weren’t handled carefully. If you’ve ever felt like someone moved on too fast ,this episode is for you. You weren’t replaced. You were misplaced. Stay connected: Instagram @monica_cotolan @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast For collaborations or private inquiries: cotolanmonica41@gmail.com If this podcast resonates, share it with a woman who needs to hear it. Support the show
S3 · E2
February 26 · 24 min
You’re Not Hard to Love. You’re Performing for It.
Have you ever felt like you had to be a certain version of yourself to be loved? In this episode, I’m talking about what it means to perform in relationships , to overgive, overexplain, overachieve just to feel secure. Where that pattern starts, how it shows up quietly, and what it takes to stop tying your worth to how well you’re received. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from trying to be “enough,” this one is for you. Stay connected: Instagram @monica_cotolan @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast For collaborations or private inquiries: cotolanmonica41@gmail.com If this podcast resonates, share it with a woman who needs to hear it. Support the show
S3 · E1
February 19 · 21 min
You’re Not the Same Person Anymore — And That’s the Problem
At some point, growth stops feeling empowering and starts feeling… quieter. In this episode, we talk about what happens after you become self-aware when you can’t unsee patterns, can’t romanticize chaos anymore, and can’t go back to the version of you that felt easier to be. We get into the strange loneliness that comes with emotional clarity, wanting things you know aren’t good for you, and why relationships , and even your personality start to change once you understand yourself more deeply. This is about the in-between phase: not who you used to be, but not fully comfortable with who you’re becoming either. If you’ve ever thought “I know better… so why do I still feel this?” this episode is for you. Welcome to girl, I’ve been thinking. Follow & connect Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast Topics we touch on • self-awareness & identity shifts • outgrowing old versions of yourself • emotional patterns in relationships • why growth can feel lonely • the difference between reacting and choosing • overthinking, attachment & clarity Support the show
S2 · E6
Jun 18, 2025 · 15 min
Why People Fear Your Reflection (And How to Stay Unshaken)
What if the way people react to you… isn’t really about you? In this raw and reflective episode, I invite you into the truth behind your light: You are a mirror. Some will feel seen in your presence—and love you for it. Others will be triggered, afraid, even distant. And that has nothing to do with your worth. We explore: Why your light activates both love and resistance in others The difference between projection and reflection How to stay rooted when your presence makes others uncomfortable The sacred power of being a mirror—and how to protect your peace while holding it This is your reminder: You’re not too much.You’re just a clear reflection.And you don’t need to dim your light to keep others comfortable. If this episode stirred something in you… if your soul whispered “this is me”… You’re not here to keep shrinking. You’re here to heal and expand. My 1:1 coaching is for the ones ready to meet themselves fully, rewrite old patterns, and stand in their light …. unapologetically. First 2 sessions are free so we can see if we match 💌 DM me the word “authenticity” on Instagram [@monica_cotolan or girlivebeenthinkingpodcast ] to begin your journey. mor 📩 SEND me an email at cotolanmonica@yahoo.com When you’re ready, I’ll be here. 🤍 Support the show
S2 · E5
Apr 27, 2025 · 33 min
From Gaslight to Glow Up: Reclaiming Your Power After Narcissistic Abuse
Are you tired of second-guessing your reality? Still picking up the pieces after a toxic relationship? This episode is your lifeline. Dive deep into the hidden world of narcissistic abuse as we expose the manipulative tactics—gaslighting, love-bombing, and emotional sabotage—that keep survivors trapped. ✔️ Decode the narcissist’s playbook (you’re NOT crazy). ✔️ Share jaw-dropping survivor stories of escape and empowerment. ✔️ Reveal actionable steps to break free, heal your self-worth, and THRIVE. Whether you’re still in the chaos, freshly out, or rebuilding—this is your roadmap to turning pain into purpose. Hit play, and let’s start your glow up. Subscribe now and reclaim the life they tried to steal. Follow me and send me a message on instagram @monica_cotolan or @totallymyselfpodcast I love you and I wish you the best onto your healing journey ✨ Support the show
S2 · E4
Apr 2, 2025 · 23 min
Why Your Emotions Are the Hidden Code They Don’t Want You to Crack (Unlock Your True Self)
Ever feel like your emotions are a tangled mess, steering you off course? In this soul-stirring episode, we dive deep into the truth your heart already knows: Your emotions are not obstacles…they’re your most powerful guides. Join us as we unpack how fear, joy, anger, and even grief can act as signals, pointing you toward authenticity, boundaries, and purpose. What You’ll Learn: - How to decode emotional “static” vs. your inner wisdom. - Practical tools to honor feelings without being ruled by them. - How to Un-fu*k yourself - Why suppressing emotions is like ignoring a GPS it only gets you lost. Perfect for overthinkers, empaths, and anyone ready to trade chaos for clarity. Press play and let your feelings flow . Support the show
S2 · E3
Mar 5, 2025 · 13 min
Fearless You: Mastering Self-Confidence
🌟 Boost Your Self-Confidence! 🌟 In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative power of self-confidence. Join us as we share personal stories, expert tips, and actionable strategies to help you unleash your inner powerhouse! 💪✨ Whether you're looking to ace that job interview or tackle a new challenge, this episode is packed with inspiration and practical advice. Don’t miss out on reclaiming your confidence! 🎧❤️ #Podcast #SelfConfidence #Inspiration Tune in now on Spotify! 🎶 Support the show
S2 · E2
Feb 23, 2025 · 43 min
Navigating the Inner Landscape: Love, Fear, and Happiness with Marius Kapp
In this thought-provoking episode, we dive deep into the realms of self-awareness and emotional balance. Join us as we explore the integration of feminine and masculine energies, discussing how these vital aspects shape our identities and relationships. Let me know what are your thoughts on this episode and what you resonate with the most •We’ll reflect on personal journeys, sharing insights on: - The transformative power of embracing feminine energy - Practical advice for men seeking to harmonize both energies within themselves - The nuances of self-relationship and how it influences our everyday lives - Strategies for navigating those tough days when everything feels overwhelming - Big fears that hold us back and the lessons we've learned about love and happiness We’ll also confront our most toxic traits with honesty and vulnerability, reminding ourselves that true growth often begins when we create a safe space for change. Let´s connect on my socials! If you liked this episode and have any questions or anything that you'd like to tell me , dm me and let me know . @monica_cotolan or @totallymyselfpodcast Marius IG : @coachmariusk https://www.instagram.com/monica_cotolan?igsh=MW9xdmJpczVoaDVmNg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr Much love my dear souls Support the show
S2 · E1
Feb 16, 2025 · 18 min
Falling in love with life again
It’s not uncommon to fall into a rut. Life can be monotonous. Our routines are often the same day-to-day. And if you are out of alignment maybe you don’t live the life that you want and that makes it hard to enjoy it .It’s hard to feel excited about life when it feels like we are running on a treadmill. It’s time for some changes ! Let´s connect on my socials! If you liked this episode and have any questions or anything that you'd like to tell me , dm me and let me know .Follow me on my instagram. https://www.instagram.com/monica_cotolan?igsh=MW9xdmJpczVoaDVmNg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr or at @totallymyselfpodcast Much love my dear souls . ❤️ Support the show
#26
Feb 20, 2024 · 16 min
Dare to detach
Understand that life has unpredictable plans in store for everyone. You can’t steer it in any direction or control it. So, never worry about factors out of your influence. Focus on being in flow, and enjoy every moment. Also, relinquishing control and accepting whatever result comes your way will help you become more content in life.and I have 6 actionable steps to help you get there !✨ Let´s connect on my socials! If you liked this episode and have any questions or anything that you'd like to tell me , dm me and let me know . @monica_cotolan or @totallymyselfpodcast Much love my dear souls . Any support for the podcast is welcomed guys ,thank you! https://www.buzzsprout.com/2212099/support Support the show
#25
Feb 12, 2024 · 24 min
Breaking the Cycle: Recognizing and Overcoming Toxic Traits
In order to break the cycle of toxic behavior, it is crucial to first identify and recognize common toxic traits. These traits can manifest in various ways and have a significant impact on our relationships, personal growth, and overall well-being. Here we are talking about some common toxic traits to be aware of and a way to break the cycle of toxicity in ourselves and how to recognise it in others as well . Stay tuned ✨ Let´s connect on my socials! If you liked this episode and have any questions or anything that you'd like to tell me , dm me and let me know . @monica_cotolan or @totallymyselfpodcast Much love my dear souls . Any support for the podcast is welcomed guys ,thank you! https://www.buzzsprout.com/2212099/support Support the show
#24
Feb 6, 2024 · 24 min
Dark feminine energy |how to tap into it&embrace it
Dark feminine energy is often a misunderstood concept because we tend to think of darkness as something negative. Life is full of contrasts and complexities, and much of our living experience comes from the balance between two opposing forces.We can't have light without darkness, and vice versa. This concept of the duality of the universe applies to many areas of life, from the physical to the spiritual.But what is this dark feminine energy exactly, and how can we tap into it for our own? Stay tuned and find out ❤️ Let´s connect on my socials! If you liked this episode and have any questions or anything that you'd like to tell me , dm me and let me know . @monica_cotolan or @totallymyselfpodcast Much love my dear souls . Any support for the podcast is welcomed guys ,thank you! https://www.buzzsprout.com/2212099/support Support the show
#23
Jan 30, 2024 · 30 min
How to become a high value woman | traits to avoid | dating tips | high value from a man POV
Would you like to know the secrets of how to be a high value woman, and what high value woman traits are?And how to be a high value woman in dating?You’ve come to the right place. I will also share some of the traits that a high value man is looking for in a woman.I don’t support the idea that we should be a certain way that men expect,but I think it is really important to know those things If you want to date a high value man,and I do see and hear a lot of curiosity from womens regarding this as well . Press play and let’s get real ! Let´s connect on my socials! If you liked this episode and have any questions or anything that you'd like to tell me , dm me and let me know . @monica_cotolan or @totallymyselfpodcast Much love my dear souls . Any support for the podcast is welcomed guys ,thank you! https://www.buzzsprout.com/2 Support the show

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