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Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind

Corey Shapiro

Every time you cooperate, they escalate. Every time you're fair, they take more. A podcast about one-sided divorce, for the spouse whose reasonableness is being used against them. Hosted by Corey Shapiro, NYC divorce attorney and author of Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind.

More at gettingdivorced.org.

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27 episodes
weekly
Avg 8 min
English

Episodes 27

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S6 · E42
Thursday · 13 min
It Is Over. So Why Do I Not Feel Free?
The agreement is signed, the exchanges are happening, and the whole thing still starts up again every time a pickup text lands. This episode is about why grief after divorce works differently from every other loss, and the one thing to do this week for the version of your life that has not been lived yet. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E41
October 8 · 8 min
It Isn't Better. It's Just Different
It is a few months after the divorce, the apartment is smaller and quieter than you pictured, and the life that was supposed to show up hasn't. Corey tells the story of the move he made in eighth grade chasing a better life, what he couldn't see from Florida, and why the answer to "better when" is to stop waiting on it and start the work now. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E40
October 1 · 8 min
You Didn't Get to Grieve Yet
It's a few weeks after you signed, the house is quiet on a night without the kids, and you feel worse than you did when the fight was still on. This episode is about why that happens, why the people who were blindsided feel it hardest, and why none of it means you're broken or behind. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E39
September 24 · 10 min
You Settled Your Divorce. Now What?
The papers are signed, everyone keeps asking if you feel relieved, and mostly you just feel tired. This episode is about why that's normal, the three ways people land after a settlement, and the big decisions to hold off on while you get your footing. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E38
September 17 · 10 min
The Opposing Lawyer Admitted They Knew They'd Lose
Your first court date is coming and you keep imagining the worst version of it. This episode walks you through that morning, including what the aggressive lawyer on the other side said after the judge ruled. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E37
September 10 · 12 min
You Did Everything Right. They Still Won't Settle.
You took the pause, stayed flexible, made every deposit, and the other side still refuses to move. This episode breaks down the three kinds of divorce trials, which one you are walking into, and how to know if your attorney is truly committed to fighting it with you. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E36
September 3 · 8 min
Why Do I Have to Take the High Road?
The other side just sent something obnoxious, and your reply is sitting there ready to go. Before you hit send, hear what the judge is actually watching for, and why every choice you make is either a deposit or a withdrawal. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E35
August 27 · 13 min
The Three Unspoken Rules of Divorce Court
Mediation fell apart, a court date is on the calendar, and your mind keeps jumping to courtroom scenes from the movies. This episode gives you the real lay of the land, the three unspoken rules no attorney explains, and why a judge pushing you toward settlement is a window, not a warning. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E34
August 20 · 9 min
Mediation Is Not Giving Up
You have already decided your spouse is too difficult for mediation, and court feels like the only road left. This episode walks you through the front door and the back door to mediation, the three types you will actually encounter, and why choosing resolution now is not the same as giving up. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E33
August 13 · 14 min
Is This Attorney Actually on Your Side?
You have consultations booked and no idea how to tell the attorney who will actually protect you from the one who just tells you what you want to hear. This episode gives you the three questions that reveal the difference before you hand over a retainer. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E32
August 6 · 7 min
Can They Afford the Four Seasons for a Year?
You looked up the firm your spouse hired, saw the fancy address and the wall of attorney bios, and felt your stomach drop. Before you assume the worst, this episode gives you the one question that tells you whether their expensive lawyer actually changes anything: can they afford to keep paying for it? You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E31
July 30 · 7 min
Refusing To Give An Inch Feels Like Strength
You're done being the reasonable one, because being reasonable is what got you here. Before you lock in the position that finally feels like fighting back, here's what it does to your case. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E30
July 23 · 7 min
You Told Yourself It Wouldn't Come Up
You've told yourself it probably won't come up, so you haven't mentioned it to anyone, including your lawyer. This is what it costs if you're wrong, and why handing it over now is what keeps it from being used against you later. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E29
July 16 · 7 min
Every Issue Feels Like an Emergency
The emails and requests keep coming, and each one feels like it needs an answer right now. Most of it is built to drain you, not to win, and this is how you spot the few that actually matter. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E28
July 9 · 5 min
You Keep Being Reasonable. It Keeps Not Working.
You keep sending reasonable proposals and they keep getting brushed aside, and you cannot figure out why. What looks like chaos is usually a strategy, and this episode names the four you are most likely up against. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E27
July 2 · 5 min
Nobody explained how any of this works
You are about to hand your case to a lawyer, and no one ever laid out how the system works. This is the scouting report, so you walk in knowing your job and who to trust with the rest. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E26
June 25 · 2 min
When It Doesn't Feel Like It's Working
Somewhere in the middle, the work stops feeling like progress and starts feeling like nothing is changing. This is a pause to show you what already has. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E25
June 18 · 8 min
Reply Like a Judge Is Reading Every Word
A last-minute request blows up your plans with the kids, and you have about ten seconds before you respond badly. Watch how to handle it in real time so the calm answer is also the smart one. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E24
June 11 · 5 min
When Being Reasonable Stops Working
Being nice hasn't worked. Getting angry isn't who you are. There's a third way to respond, and one question gets you there. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.
S6 · E23
June 4 · 8 min
Stop Telling. Start Asking.
When they tune you out, saying it louder won't get through. Step four of the CLEAR Method, and the one move that shifts a conversation from reactive to real. You keep being reasonable, and it keeps being used against you. Every fair offer becomes the floor for a bigger demand. Every concession buys you nothing. That is a one-sided divorce, and it plays by different rules than the mutual divorce your friends went through. Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind is for people living that divorce. Corey Shapiro has spent more than 25 years as a matrimonial attorney in high-conflict cases, and this show is where he explains the game: why staying calm is a weapon and not a weakness, what your spouse's attorney is actually doing, and how to stop reacting and start deciding. Based on the book Getting Divorced Without Losing Your Mind. For when being reasonable stops working.

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