Gen X-Files: a Rewatch Podcast

Familiar Film Title Fight: The Evil Dead vs. Spookies

The bell has rung, the gloves are off, and two sort of similar supernatural nightmares are stepping into the ring. In our first Familiar Film Title Fight sidefile, 1981’s The Evil Dead goes head-to-head with 1986’s Spookies, a movie originally called Twisted Souls and starring, as far as we’re concerned, Who the Fuck Knows. Dash, Melz, and Steve compare the movies’ isolated locations, monsters, occult weirdness, effects, questionable decision-making, and very different relationships with coherent storytelling. Along the way, we dig into The Evil Dead’s famously scrappy production, Bruce Campbell’s baby-faced beginnings, and whether Sam Raimi’s horror classic still holds up. Meanwhile, Spookies traps its victims inside a sprawling mansion and gives us farting zombies, an absolutely deranged Ouija board, a scrotum-headed spider lady, Dick Vein Dracula, and one zombie chase that may actually be longer than Titanic. We deepen our understanding of semen demons, reverse pregnancy, why haunted forests apparently require a refractory period, and exactly where Steve would take Spookies if given the opportunity. Only one movie can leave with the championship belt. Will it be the horror classic, or whatever the hell Spookies is? You'll have to listen to find out. If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com

Maximum Overdrive Side File; or, 2 Steve 2 Cocaine

Stephen King wanted to prove he was the one guy who really knew how to adapt Stephen King. So in 1986, extremely high on cocaine, he directed Maximum Overdrive. He never directed another movie. For this Side File, Dash, Melz, and Dash’s dad Steve revisit the movie where a comet makes machines turn on humanity... or aliens do it, maybe... and a bunch of people get trapped at a truck stop while sentient semis circle them for reasons nobody seems interested in explaining. Somewhere along the way, we discover that in 1986, there were at least two Steves on cocaine. We get Stephen King’s sardine breath, a lawnmower accident that cost a cinematographer his eye, the inexplicable Green Goblin truck, the lost X-rated gore cut, Emilio Estevez licking sweat off a woman’s forehead, Dash’s dad confessing his past as one of the Mailbox Bandits, and a deleted scene where Optimus Prime finally deals with Yeardley Smith. Also: can the trucks hear? Seriously. We need to know. It’s Maximum Overdrive. We watched it so you don’t have to overdrive yourself up a wall. If you’re reading this, you’re a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com

S1E18 - Miracle Man; or, Why My Mom Hates Leroy Jenkins

The X-Files Season 1, Episode 18: Miracle Man. This week, Dash & Melz (long-time fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher and Dash’s mom) head to Tennessee for teenage faith healers, suspicious deaths, a Mulder mic-drop moment, and the discovery that Scully learned some strange stuff in med school. Samuel Hartley has been performing miracles since he was a kid, but when people start dying and Samuel tells Mulder things about Samantha he should not know, things get weird fast. Along the way, a courtroom fills with insects, Sheriff Daniels gets repeatedly lip-cucked, Samuel looks like Justin Bieber became a youth pastor, and we get into chicken-tender theology, air-vent potato chunks, hideous religion-themed '90s computer software, and wonder if we have listeners in Heaven. Angel’s memory of her grandmother being taken to a real faith healer sends us down a rabbit hole that ends with the incredible discovery: It was Leroy Jenkins the whole time. Miracle Man is extremely goofy, surprisingly sad, and somehow both make the other better. Never seen The X-Files? You’re good. Angel is watching for the first time. If you’re reading this, you’re a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? GenXFilesPod@gmail.com

S1E17 - E.B.E.; or, Matt Anderson Wants More Deep Throat

Matt Anderson wanted Deep Throat. Unfortunately, the only thing being swallowed this week is the truth. Matt, host of Does This Come in Chromium? and co-host of Bloody Bits, joins Dash, Melz and first-time watcher Angel for “E.B.E.” A UFO goes down, a suspicious truck rolls through Tennessee, and Mulder becomes convinced an extraterrestrial biological entity is being buried inside a military cover-up. Scully has doubts, Deep Throat keeps making everything murkier, and the government seems determined to make sure nobody knows which conspiracy is the real one. It’s also the first appearance of the Lone Gunmen, three paranoid weirdos who were supposed to be a one-off and immediately became essential. We dig into how early X-Files fans helped push the show toward more UFO mythology, more conspiracy and, apparently, a whole lot more Deep Throat. Meanwhile, Matt introduces Shark Ears Surveillance, we investigate radioactive bird poop, wait for the blue light special on Deep Throat, question whether an alien can be heavy enough to wreck a truck, and uncover more from the roughly 900 hours of deleted footage filmed for every episode. Never seen The X-Files? You’re good. Angel hasn’t either. We take you through the whole episode from beginning to end, so longtime fans can revisit the conspiracy and newcomers can walk straight into it with us. If you’re reading this, you’re a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Shoot us an email at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

Side File #3 - Meet Matt Anderson; or, Conspiratorial Math

Grab your conspiracy theory Koosh Ball, check your current age, and join us for another Side File as Dash, Angel, and Melz sit down with podcaster, writer, and Friend, Matt Anderson. Across a conversation about comics, conspiracies, horror movies, and the deeply questionable decisions that lead someone into podcasting, we learn how Matt went from wanting to write comics as a kid to actually doing it, why he considers himself the ultimate victor over one particularly discouraging teacher, and how it feels to be nine years old. Along the way, Matt tells us how the return of The X-Files derailed his shot at writing an ongoing comic for IDW, digs up his original 2015 pitch and actually reads it for us, and discovers some suspicious similarities between his idea and where the show eventually went. We also devise a conspiracy theory fighting tournament and learn far more than anyone requested about the twenty pages of erotic Kung Fu Panda fanfiction inspired by a character Matt created. If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Feel free to email us at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

S1E16 - Young at Heart; or, Chris Carter Lends a Hand

A supposedly dead killer from Mulder’s past is back, younger than ever and equipped with one deeply suspicious salamander hand. This week, longtime fans and couple Dash and Melz join Dash’s mom Angel, a first-time watcher, for Young at Heart. An old failure comes roaring back into Mulder’s life as the agents uncover secret human experiments, a government deal with a murderer, and some beautifully half-baked Season 1 science. Along the way, we reminisce about Mawmaw “walking her man,” a children’s football game becomes a bowl of child soup, Scully gets volunteered as bait, and the world’s horniest handwriting analyst develops a very professional interest in Fox Mulder. Mark Snow briefly wanders into a Pee-wee Herman death cult, while Barnett somehow evolves into a California surfer dude with murder on the brain. We also uncover Neutrogena’s disastrous Young at Hands product tie-in, discover why Q apparently spent the Brosnan era handling MI6 technology with ten fucking bratwurst, and William B. Davis makes a surprise appearance that somehow goes completely unnoticed by all three of us. If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Feel free to email us at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

S1E15 - Lazarus; or, The Curious Case of Penis Continuity

A dead bank robber, awkward relationship dynamics, and one very inconvenient case of waking up in the wrong body. This week on our rewatch of The X-Files, Dash & Melz (long-time fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher and Dash’s mom) take on Season 1, Episode 15: Lazarus. Mulder thinks something impossible has happened to Jack Willis. Scully would really rather it hadn’t. Somewhere between body swapping, old relationships, and a stopped watch, we land on one of our favorite reads of their whole dynamic: Mulder says “I want to believe.” Scully says “I’m scared to believe.” We also launch a full investigation into whether Willis and Dupre have identical penises, turn Agent Brisket into a recurring problem, meet John Audio, discover the legally distinct soda “Shasa,” and watch Scully unload enough wrestling finishers on Lula to headline WrestleMania. Angel gets protective of Scully, the eternal big-tittied Sasquatch returns, and a tangent on John Landis' The Stupids becomes its own mini episode. Oh, and Producer Carl makes his first appearance. That seems important. So join us for ghost-jacking, ricochet math, naked-man shooting etiquette, doomed romance, and far more penis continuity than anyone involved in The X-Files could have anticipated. If you’re reading this, you’re a friend! Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

S1E14 - Gender Bender; or, Rob Bowman's First Episode, Unfortunately

A deadly hookup, a community frozen in time, and enough pheromones to fog up an FBI field office. This week on our rewatch of The X-Files, Dash & Melz (long-time fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher and Dash’s mom) take on Season 1, Episode 14: Gender Bender! Mulder and Scully follow a string of bizarre deaths to the Kindred, an isolated community we quickly rename the Absolute Amish. We untangle mysterious transformations, some extremely 1994 ideas about gender and sexuality, and try to make a crop circle out of a crap circle. Along the way, Goo Mulder returns, Scully begs to go back to the 20th century, Mulder hears someone coming and it isn’t him, and Nicholas Lea does the stanky leg. Angel discovers her catchphrase, “Back in the day!”, Melz gets trapped in a Nicholas Cage, we realize that The X-Files beat Pokémon to the infamous Porygon strobe effect, and somehow summon Dash’s sister live on air. So grab your tiny glitter cowboy hat and join us for one of the strangest stops in The X-Files Season 1. If you’re reading this, you’re a friend! Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

Side File #2 - Mad Libs with Mawmaw; or, Skeet Ulrich's Revenge

On this Side File, Dash, Melz, Mawmaw, and Steve sit down for a nice wholesome game of Mad Libs, which quickly becomes less about parts of speech and more about discovering exactly how much damage one family can do to the English language. Before the madness properly begins, Mawmaw introduces us to a would-be time traveler who was allegedly robbed by Domino’s, an old neighbor named Sue who lived life at one speed, turbo, and the shocking revelation that Mawmaw herself may have been embedded deep within the shadow government. Along the way, Big Bird gets a cousin named Medium, Dad goes duck hunting with a rake, somebody starts lifting weights with their eyebrows, and a glory hole somehow turns into both an art studio and a centaur problem. We switch from penis to asshole, establish the existence of cum fields, explain pegging to Mawmaw, and learn one very important lesson: keep these rules in the back of your asshole. If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com

Side File #1 - Meet Mawmaw and Steve; or, Gladiator Grandma

Grab your Walmart parking lot pillow, keep an eye on the television, and join us for our first Side File as Dash sits down with his dad, Steve, and his grandmother, Mawmaw. Across 33 minutes of family history, questionable logic, and absolutely no respect for the natural flow of conversation, we talk about getting older without ever really feeling older, why ninth graders once seemed like fully grown adults, and how one day you’re seventeen and the next you’re Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. Along the way, we mourn the 24-hour Walmart, discover that Mawmaw may be a nocturnal vigilante, learn that Steve is apparently fermenting, question the acid-trip nightmare of the Willy Wonka boat tunnel, and establish once and for all that if Johnny Depp isn’t in your thing, it’s not a movie. It’s a play. If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Feel free to drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@Gmail.com

S1E13 - Beyond the Sea; or GIVE SCULLY AN EMMY!

Grab your file-drawer Cheetos, beware of extremely moist psychics, and join us as we break down The X-Files Season 1 Episode 13: Beyond the Sea! This week on our rewatch of The X-Files, Dash & Melz (longtime fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher and Dash’s mom) meet Scully’s dad, played by Don S. Davis, better known as Major Garland Briggs from Twin Peaks. He is alive for all of 90 seconds. What follows is a grief-soaked reversal where Mulder is the skeptic, Scully wrestles with belief, and Gillian Anderson and Brad Dourif enter an act-off where they're both winning. We talk about Scully burying herself in work, Mulder not being untouchable, and Luther Lee Boggs, a man that will kiss ya or kill ya, depending on the day. Along the way, we get more evidence that Mulder is a proto-gooner, tell funeral impostors to stay away from Scully and get a job, decide that being exe-CUTE-ed means getting licked to death by adorable kittens, and imagine Scully asking an ice cream server for a flavor that can commute a death sentence. We also discuss Julie Strain sword fellatio, Cher going to Harry Potter for cosmetic surgery, and the great nipple drought of 2008. If you’re reading this, you’re a friend! Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at ⁠GenXFilesPod@gmail.com⁠.

S1E12 - Fire; or, Horny Mulder vs. Doctor Flame

Grab your lightly toasted Mulder-scented candle, watch out for strange British men, and join us as we break down The X-Files Season 1 Episode 12: Fire! This week on our rewatch of The X-Files, Dash & Melz (longtime fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher and Dash's mom) meet Phoebe Green, Mulder's old flame, and unfortunately for Scully, it's a whole thing. This episode gives us tuxedo Mulder, shirtless Mulder, jealous Scully, Victorian linebacker lips, and the canonical revelation that Mulder and Phoebe apparently boned on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's grave. We're also dealing with Cebob, a firebug who stalks the Marsden family, smokes three cigarettes at once for the children, and generally behaves like a man who should not be allowed near anything remotely flammable. Meanwhile, Doctor Flame shows up as the FBI's horniest arson expert, a deeply strange man that we are pretty sure wants to have sexual relations with fire. Along the way, we ask who undressed Mulder, wonder why these parents keep forgetting about their children, invent Mind Movers, discover Angel's understanding of Rule 34, debate how many times you can free Willy before realizing Willy is the problem, and somehow end up discussing public domain Mickey Mouse porn. If you're reading this, you're a friend! Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

S1E11 - Eve; or, Mulder Gets Psyopped by Murder Children

Grab your nearest Diet Coke, check it for digitalis, and strap into a straitjacket with us as we break down Season 1 Episode 11: Eve! This time on our rewatch of The X-Files, Dash & Melz (longtime fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher and Dash's mom) take on a classic bicoastal killer kid clone case! Mulder unfortunately meets two murderous, hyper-intelligent little weirdos who know exactly how to play him like a fiddle, clocking his "UFO guy" energy instantly. Along the way, Melz does bimbo research, we find out that Dash may have been an alien this whole time and Angel reveals herself as a clone sympathizer. From a surprise Deep Throat bush appearance to Goo Mulder licking for his lady, this one's a banger! If you're reading this, you're a friend! Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

S1E10 - Fallen Angel; or, Mulder's Fine Shyt Era

This week in our rewatch of The X-Files, sneak with us through the tall grass as we uncover the truth behind season 1, episode 10: Fallen Angel! Join Dash & Melz (long-time fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher, Dash's mom) as we find out just how much bigger the game is than Mulder realizes. We’re talking orchestrated cover stories, bureaucratic thumbs on the scale, UFO nerd micro-celebrity, and the truth getting snatched away the second Mulder gets close to it. Also: Max Fenig nerdmogs the world's biggest dork, an exhausted Scully has to rescue Mulder once again from the consequences of being Mulder, Mom celebrates her first birthday thanks to airtight podcast math, Melz considers whether aliens could be made of lemons, and we introduce Producer Carl. If you're reading this, you're a friend. In this episode, we mention our friends Diana and Terry. If you’d like to donate to Angels of Assisi in their honor, you can do so here: angelsofassisi.networkforgood.com/projects/245843-general-donation Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com

S1E9 - Space; or, Gen X-Files Celebrates 2 Millenniums!

This week on our rewatch of The X-Files, grab your best ancient Roman wine and moonwalk your way though season 1, episode 9: Space with us! Join Dash & Melz (long-time fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher, Dash's mom) as we look back fondly on our first 2000 years of podcasting! It's not all fun and games this week, though, as Mulder meets his biggest hero only to find that he's a flawed human (alien?) just like anyone else. Mom spills so many secrets this week: everything from the truth about Santa Claus, to Dash's real dad, and the amazing story behind how Mulder and Scully "blammed the clam". Along the way we also uncover more about Mulder's anti-animal astronaut activism, discover Michael Jackson's space explorer era, and dig through Mulder's alien porn collection. If you're reading this, you're a friend! Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com!

S1E8 - Ice; or, One Man's War on Poop Jars

In this week's episode of our rewatch of The X-Files, we're zipping up our best winter coats and heading to Alaska for season 1, episode 8: Ice! Come stay warm with Dash & Melz (long-time fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher and Dash's mom) as we discuss Mulder being in a paranoia-off, ponder the dangers of scientific discovery, and watch one man spiral into poop-jar-induced madness. Along the way, we see every genre of Scully, from tender and sapphic, to literally pointing a gun at the one person she trusts, and everything in-between. So boot up your copy of John Carpenter's The Thing, rub some ketchup on your nipples, and strap in for over 2 hours of weirdness. If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@Gmail.com

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S1E7 - Ghost in the Machine; or, ChatGPT does a Murder

This week in our rewatch of The X-Files, we're frantically installing antivirus software as we download season one, episode seven, Ghost in the Machine! Join Dash & Melz (longtime fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher, Dash's mom) as we try to find out what the hell's going on in the Eurisko building. We're talking grandparents and AI slop, speculative tech, and Scully committing crimes against markers and computer screens alike. Mulder has a rough one this week, depending on Scully to save his ass (again) and learning that even if you do everything right, a corrupt system can still make you hurt the person you're trying to help. Along the way, we're joined in our endeavors by a guy that mom can smell through time and all our homies hate, watching Scully get dirty as she's sucked and blown, and discussing the TRUE origins of X-Hamster! If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Drop us a line at GenXFilesPod@Gmail.com

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S1E6 - Shadows; or, The X-Files Does Corporate Terrorism

This week in our rewatch of The X-Files, Dash & Melz (long-time fans and couple) and Angel (first-time watcher, Dash's mom) are dusting off an old hidden floppy disk and updating our résumés for season one, episode six: Shadows! We're talking workplace tension, a bipolar boss that bears a striking resemblance to Herman Munster, and an early spotting of our boy Tom Braidwood. We also figure out why Scully is always missing out on cool paranormal stuff - spoiler, it's her tiny little legs. Along the way, we're being haunted by impossible ladder situations, breaking into an impromptu X-Files-themed rendition of the Fresh Prince theme, and circling back to the fact that Mulder would totally ask if you've got games on your phone. If you're reading this, you're a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Shoot us an email at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com.

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S1E5 - The Jersey Devil; or, Mulder Goons to Cryptids

On this week’s episode of our rewatch of The X-Files, Melz and Dash (long-time fans and long-time couple) convince Angel (Dash’s mom and first-time watcher) to take a gamble on season one, episode five: The Jersey Devil! We’re talking corrupt tourist traps, mankind’s place in the food chain, and insufferable assholes that gargle gravel. Along the way, we meet the most divorced dad of all time, who spends the episode competing with Mulder in an intense “down bad” competition. Our deck is stacked this week as we witness Ryan Gosling on a cat’s ass, fondly remember Old Pete’s Feet (rest in peace), discuss Mulder’s possible proto-gooner tendencies, and react to the shocking revelation that Scully apparently thinks Mulder is cute. 😲 If you’re reading this, you’re a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Make contact at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com!

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S1E4 - Conduit; or, The Young Luigi Mangione Story

In the fourth episode of our rewatch of The X-Files, Melz and Dash (long-time fans, couple), and Angel (first-time watcher, Dash's mom) are unscrambling Conduit! We get a deeper look at Mulder's feelings about his missing sister, Scully's willingness to go along with his zaniness, and tabloid sensationalism. Along the way, we watch an 8 year old get perp walked, briefly discuss the dangers of Finger Viagra, witness the first inklings of David Duchovny's crying abilities, and discover what happens when Goo Mulder gets to third base. If you're reading this, you're a Friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Shoot us an email at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com

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