EducationSelf-Improvement

Gathering Gold

Sheryl Paul and Victoria Russell

Join Sheryl Paul, a counselor informed by the Jungian depth psychological tradition, and her co-host Victoria Russell, as they dive into the realms of our inner worlds and explore actions we can take to grow more self-trust and self-love. These bi-weekly episodes will provide guidance for diminishing fear and shame, embracing sensitivity and creativity, and approaching life with curiosity and compassion.

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#128
August 17 · 56 min
The Fear of Living a Small Life
“I’m afraid of living a small life. Of not living up to my potential. Of never being great.” We hear this often: people wondering whether their life is enough—whether they are enough— and whether they will have regrets in the future about how they chose to lead their “one wild and precious life” (to quote Mary Oliver). In today’s episode, we unpack the paradoxes bound up in considering whether a life is “big enough," and ask the questions: big by what metric? My whose measuring stick? Sheryl shares personal experiences of touching a certain "bigness" (being on the Oprah Winfrey show and amassing 100,000+ followers on Instagram), followed by unhooking from the seductive but soul-sucking tentacles of a certain kind of success. Traversing stories of Taylor Swift and Doechii, Robin Wall Kimmerer and Jane Austen, we look at messaging from mainstream culture and wisdom traditions about what it means to live a life that is connected, engaged, and meaningful, and how we can resist the “hungry ghost” culture of quantity over quality. Sheryl’s blog post, How to Cool Down Internet Inflamed Relationship Anxiety Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke "The Goodness of Ordinary Life" episode of Gathering Gold Taylor Swift's song “Anti-Hero” and her commentary about it Sheryl’s appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show "DENIAL IS A RIVER" by Doechii Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer Jane Austen’s writing table
S1 · E127
August 3 · 56 min
Unrequited Love
Why do we keep searching for the one thing that will finally make us feel complete? Inspired by David Whyte's essay Unrequited Love, Sheryl and Victoria explore the universal experience of longing, and why it is especially familiar to highly sensitive people. Together, they reflect on the ache for perfect connection, the inevitability of disappointment, and the cultural messages that tell us we are only one relationship, achievement, or purchase away from feeling whole. What if longing isn't a problem to solve, but a natural part of being human? This conversation invites embracing life's "beautiful temporary" moments of connection—and finding peace in the imperfect, ever-changing rhythm of love and belonging. References: David Whyte’s “Unrequited Love” from Consolations Enneagram 4 We, Robert Johnson Marion Woodman Dancing in the Flames Olivia Rodrigo “The Cure”
S1 · E126
July 22 · 18 min
The Lazy Hard Worker
In this solo episode, inspired by a Patreon community member, Victoria reflects on what it means to be a "lazy hard worker"—someone who swings between periods of doing "nothing" and burning the candle at both ends. Through personal reflections, she explores the difference between moving slowly and being truly stuck, the fears that can fuel procrastination and perfectionism, and how understanding our own temperament, rhythms, and needs can help us find a more sustainable middle path. References: Gathering Gold episode: Effort and Ease
S1 · E125
June 29 · 52 min
The Wisdom of Shared Dreams
Four years ago, we shared an episode on dream work and the gifts that emerge from remembering, recording, and reflecting on our dreams in solitude. Today, we're returning to the subject—this time exploring the power of sharing dreams within a trusted community. What unique wisdom can emerge when we invite others to reflect on our dreams—and when we do the same for theirs? How can dream work expand our empathy, spark creative responses to social challenges, and help us discern how we're called to serve? And how do we find the kind of community where this sacred work can unfold? We explore all this and more in today's episode. References: Jeremy Taylor interviews with Dream Networker and Thinking Allowed Jeremy Taylor's Basic Dream Work Tool Kit Marion Woodman's dream work Gathering Gold episode: "Living IRL" The Kin of Ata Are Waiting for You by Dorothy Bryant
S1 · E124
June 15 · 55 min
Showing Up Is Enough: Reflections from the Retreat
Sheryl and Victoria reflect on their experiences of Sheryl's first-ever in-person retreat: Another Way. For five days, nestled in a Colorado valley, the retreatants engaged in dream work and rituals; practiced council; moved mindfully; and connected to creativity. Inside a circle of compassion and wisdom, tears and laughter flowed with ease. A web of deep, healing connection was woven--invisible threads of love that now stretch across continents and oceans. In this conversation, Sheryl and Victoria share the guiding principles of the retreat, emphasizing gentleness, safety, and empowerment; dispel myths about what a retreat experience "should" look like; and explore how, no matter what, showing up with an open heart is more than enough. References: "Another Way" Gathering Gold episode How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, Jenny Odell Animal Spirit Deck, Kim Kranz Projective identification dreamwork, Jeremy Taylor Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?
S1 · E123
May 29 · 50 min
Dear Highly Sensitive Parent: Patreon Bonus Episode + New Reflections
Sheryl and Victoria share a favorite bonus conversation from the Patreon library ("Dear Highly Sensitive Parent") and current reflections on why it still resonates so deeply--especially now. Sheryl shares some of her most potent, painful, and life-changing experiences in early motherhood and the practices that held and grounded her in the toughest moments. And, she and Victoria discuss Sheryl's first-ever in-person retreat (!) and her new community offering for mothers: The Gathering Well. References: "There is Another Way" episode The Gathering Well community for mothers Interested in joining a future retreat? Email Sheryl: sheryl@conscious-transitions.com Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?
S1 · E122
May 11 · 40 min
Becoming Who We Are: On Gifts, Passions & Pigeonholes
Sheryl and Victoria unpack how children—and adults—can become pigeonholed as “the smart one,” “the athlete,” “the good girl,” or “the creative one,” and what happens when those identities start to feel limiting. Through personal stories about parenting, childhood passions, sibling dynamics, and evolving career paths, they reflect on the importance of allowing young people the freedom to grow, pivot, and surprise us. The conversation touches on intrinsic motivation, the difference between genuine passion and externally imposed expectations, and how gifts and talents can both ground us and become tangled with self-worth. Sheryl and Victoria also explore the tension between encouraging perseverance and honoring a child’s authentic sense of self, sharing examples of how identity can unfold in unexpected ways. Along the way, they discuss multi-potentiality, growth mindset, perfectionism, gender expectations, and the deep human need to feel seen, valued, and free to contain multitudes. References: Other Gathering Gold episodes: You Do Not Have to Be Good Films: High School Musical (2006) Whiplash (2014) Books: Mindset by Carol Dweck Music: “Mirrorball,” by Taylor Swift TED Talk: Why Some Of Us Don’t Have One True Calling
S1 · E121
April 27 · 57 min
Snakes without Skin: The Middle School Years
In today's episode, we are exploring the emotional intensity of the middle school years, reflecting on both the pain and the “gold” of this stage—revisiting experiences of loneliness and self-consciousness alongside connection, self-discovery, and courage. We discuss how shifting attention from family to peers can deepen feelings of rejection, while also opening the door to more meaningful friendships and self-expression. We share how important it was for us to feel truly seen at this age—especially by supportive adults—and how small moments of recognition became lifelong anchors. In searching for the gold within them, we discover how these "middle" years are not just a time to endure, but a formative, tender, and transformative chapter that shapes who we become. References: “Don’t You Dare Teach My Daughter to Fear the Forest” by TY Chambers Dire Straights podcast episode: "Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s Mall" The Genius Myth by Michael Meade
S1 · E120
April 13 · 52 min
The Spirituality of Human Connection
When the topic of spiritual practice comes up, what comes to mind? Going to a religious service? Connecting with nature? Meditating? There are so many ways to connect of a sense of something bigger than ourselves. There is one vital pathways that is sometimes overlooked: Connecting with each other. In today's episode, we're exploring how connecting with other people -- both real and imaginal, in our memories and in the here-and-now -- can help us grow stronger and softer, safer and braver, more present and more expansive. References: Other Gathering Gold and Conscious Transitions work: Gathering Gold episode on "Spiritual Longing" Sheryl's course "Open Your Heart: A 30-Day Course to Feel More Love and Attraction for Your Partner" Comedy John Mulaney on "Stranger Danger" Tig Notaro's "Hello, I have cancer" Quotes Mr. Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Maya Angelou: “I’ve had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows…..and one of the things I do when I step up on a stage, when I stand up to translate, when I go to teach my classes, when I go to direct a movie, I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me.” “Black, White, Asian, Spanish-speaking, Native American, Gay, Straight, everybody. I say come with me — I’m going on this stage. Come with me. I need you now. Long dead….you see.. so I don’t ever feel, I have no help.” “I’ve had rainbows in my clouds.and the thing to do it seems to me… Is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud." William Blake: “I sought my God and my God I couldn't find; I sought my soul and my soul eluded me; I sought to serve my brother in his need, and I found all three; My God, my soul, and thee.” Music "People Get Back Up" by Mae Martin Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?
S1 · E119
March 20 · 54 min
"I Don't Like Change"
"I don't like change." Many highly sensitive souls have uttered these words at one time or another. Perhaps we've said them recently, as we watched neighbors move away, or babies grow into toddlers, or winter slip into spring. Maybe we haven't dared speak them aloud since childhood, decades ago, when someone rolled their eyes in response and told us to buck up. In today's episode, we are exploring the contours of change--the good, the hard, the heartbreaking, and the joyful. How can we meet our growing pains and open our hearts with tenderness and compassion amidst the inevitable winds of change? References: Related Gathering Gold Episodes... ...about Time: The Passage of Time How to Slow Down Time ...about Receiving: Why It's Hard to Receive Good Things ...about Objects: Artifacts of the Heart Bonus episode: Emotional Support for Spring Cleaning Books ACT Made Simple by Dr. Russ Harris Great Expectations by Charles Dickens Poetry “Mysteries, Yes” by Mary Oliver Films Toy Story (1995) Music “La La Lu” from Lady and the Tramp “All Things Must Pass” by George Harrison “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac “A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?
S1 · E118
March 6 · 57 min
Career Transitions, Dreams, and the Emotional Life of Men with Daev Finn
Note: We've decided to take a pause on the topic of romantasy, but we may come back to it down the road :) In this special episode, we are sharing our recent webinar with Daev Finn, an artist, psychotherapist, and Sheryl's loving husband. After years working as a visual effects artist, Daev realized it was time for a change, and he made the transition to become a psychotherapist. Here, he reflects on the personal demons and dreams that pulled him from and to this path, the influence of art and myth on this work, and the process of unlearning much of what he was taught about what it means to be a man. You can find out more about Daev's work at his website and contact him by email at daev.finn@icloud.com References: Psychology & Myth Jung & the collective unconscious The Hero’s Journey – Joseph Campbell Bill Moyers Special: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth Daev's Writing "Attending to Unfinished Business is the Work of a Lifetime" Films Hamnet Train Dreams Music "On the Nature of Daylight," from The Blue Notebooks Related Gathering Gold and Perennials Episodes The Father Wound Fairy Tales by the Fireside Self-Care, Community-Care with Dr. Kesha Moore Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?
S1 · E117
February 13 · 52 min
Courts of Longing: the Archetypal Gold in ACOTAR
"Be glad of your human heart....Pity those who don't feel anything at all.” What if the meteoric rise of the romantasy genre isn’t about fae courts and dragon riders—but about our deepest and most human longings? Romantasy has taken the publishing world by storm. While some dismiss these stories as escapist fantasy, we believe their deeper power lies in how they illuminate the human heart. In this series on the alchemy of romantasy, we explore the mythic and psychological currents running through books like A Court of Thorns and Roses and Fourth Wing. Through the lenses of Jung and the Hero’s (and Heroine's) Journey, we examine the desire to individuate, to be truly seen, to claim inner sovereignty, to find belonging, security, and freedom—and to join with a soulmate who honors the self we are becoming. Join us as we ask why these stories resonate so profoundly right now, and what they reveal about who we are. References: Books & Series A Court of Thorns and Roses and A Court of Mist and Fury – Sarah J. Maas Fourth Wing – Rebecca Yarros Psychology & Myth Enneagram 4 type Jung & the collective unconscious The Hero’s Journey – Joseph Campbell Pop Culture Moana Frozen Monica Lewinsky’s podcast Related Gathering Gold Episodes Escape Hatch Fantasies What Could Have Been You Do Not Have to Be Good Bonus: Books that Changed Us Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: What Sheryl Forgot and Victoria's Experiment | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?
S1 · E116
January 23 · 45 min
Body Shame
In today's episode, we dip a toe into the icy waters of body shame: the waters that take our breath away, that make us run for cover. How do we anchor our bodies in the warmth of true safety, of acceptance that frees us to open up to life and all it has to offer? Sheryl explores themes of body shame, body love, and so much more in her course Sacred Sexuality. Registration for the next round closes on January 31st, and listeners of podcast can get a 10% discount with the code BodyLove-GG. Members of our Patreon community can find a code for 20% off over at our Patreon page.
S1 · E115
January 9 · 52 min
To Journal or Not to Journal in 2026?
In this month of January, the beginning of the New Year, some of us may be looking at our current habits and patterns, returning to practices that have fallen away, reinvigorating activities that have lost luster, and exploring new ways of caring for and connecting with our selves. Journaling might be one of those practices that you are thinking about engaging with -- or perhaps feel like you should do, but don't really want to. In today's episode, lifelong daily journaler Sheryl and never-journaler Victoria talk about the intentions and mindsets behind healthy, helpful journaling; the pitfalls of perfectionism; why Sheryl doesn't use a special, "beautiful" notebook for journaling; and two particular methods that Sheryl suggests for effective, supportive journaling. References: 10 Percent Happier podcast episode: The Science Of Journaling: How Writing Reduces Overthinking, Rumination, And Anxiety with Dr. James Pennebaker The Country Commonplace Book by Miranda Hills Dear America and Royal Diaries series 10 Percent Happier podcast episode "How to Handle Your Inner Critic," with Amita Schmidt Internal Family Systems therapy Sheryl's book The Wisdom of Anxiety Morning Pages practice from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
S1 · E114
Dec 26, 2025 · 54 min
Living in the Rhythm (Re-Air)
As Sheryl and Victoria lean into the rhythm of the holiday season, resting and connecting with family at the end of the year, we invite you to return to our most-listened to episode of 2025. * * * “Energy moves in waves. Waves move in patterns. Patterns move in rhythms. A human being is just that, energy, waves, patterns, rhythms. Nothing more. Nothing less. A dance.” --Gabrielle. Roth Our heartbeat. Our breath. Our steps along the sidewalk. Our life happens in rhythms--breath by breath, heartbeat by heartbeat, step by step. We move in and out of seasons, feel a shift in tempo as our energy levels ebb and flow, fall into connection and disconnection with those around us. In today's episode, we are exploring what it means to "live in the rhythm" of life, why it can be so hard in our contemporary culture, and how turning towards the natural world can invite us back into a dance that is humane and enlivening. References: Wise Child, by Monica Furlong Gabrille Roth's 5Rhythms Mark Nepo Kelsy Leonard, "Why lakes and rivers should have the same rights as humans" The Nature of Reading Bookshop Carl Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious
S1 · E113
Dec 12, 2025 · 20 min
The Joy of Small Things
In this solo episode, Sheryl explores the potency of the present moment. With personal reflections and poetry, Sheryl illuminates how much depends upon noticing, holding, and imprinting in our soul the extraordinary mystery, love, joy, and pain in the moments we wish we could extend for a bit longer, live over again, remember all of our days. References: Gathering Gold episode "How to Slow Down Time" William Carlos Williams poem "The Red Wheelbarrow"
S1 · E112
Nov 21, 2025 · 56 min
How to Slow Down Time
At this time of year, it can start to feel like time is speeding up. The holidays are here already? It's almost the end of 2025? Didn't the year just begin?! In a culture that begins celebrating Christmas before trick-or-treaters have even begun knocking on doors, this sense of rush and speed is amplified at every turn. In today's episode, we are exploring the question: how do we slow down time? How do we shift our relationship to time, enter into deeper presence and flow, and savor all that we have--the present moment? References: Saving Time: Discovering a Life Beyond the Clock and How to Do Nothing, by Jenny Odell "Stop This Train," by John Mayer
S1 · E111
Oct 24, 2025 · 36 min
The Need to Nag and Control
In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria unpack an idea explored in Sheryl's upcoming course Open Your Heart: A 30-Day Course to Feel More Love and Attraction for Your Partner: a pattern of criticizing and micromanaging your partner is a surefire way to close your heart and add bricks to a wall between you. Sheryl and Victoria name the historical, cultural, and societal influences behind the word "nag" or "nagging," which cannot be uncoupled from patriarchy and capitalism, then circle back to this question: when we are with a loving partner who is doing their best and trying to meet us halfway, and we still find ourselves quick to nitpick, criticize, and attempt to control them, how can we regain intentionality and find spaciousness to chart a healthier path forward? References: Sheryl’s course “Open Your Heart: A 30-Day Course to Feel More Love and Attraction for Your Partner,” starting on November 15, 2025.
S1 · E110
Oct 10, 2025 · 54 min
Rooting into Autumn (Re-Air)
**Today, we are practicing what we preach: slowing down and giving ourselves a little break by re-airing this episode from last year. We hope you enjoy, and we are sending you well wishes for rest, rejuvenation, and tending to your own rhythms and self-care in this season of rooting!** Meaning making. Connecting to breath. Aligning with nature. So many actions, big and small, can help us dig a little deeper into the soil of time, anchor ourselves against the buffeting winds of change and demands, especially as we shift into a new season. We recorded this conversation in front of a live virtual audience of Patreon community members, opening up the second half of the episode for group discussion on the topic of rooting into autumn. We are so grateful to the insightful, compassionate members who added their wisdom about steadying ourselves amidst the busy-ness of autumn. How will you send some energy to your roots today? References: Rooted, by Lyanda Lynn Haupt
S1 · E109
Sep 26, 2025 · 47 min
Autumn, Grief, and Beauty
In today’s episode, we are slowing down and opening our hearts to the beauty and loss abundant in autumn, a season that can so poignantly reflect and hold our own grief. Sheryl shares reflections about the passage of time, her sons growing up, and the passing of her beloved soul cat Tashi. Victoria shares her recent experience of learning about the death of a friend she had lost touch with. How do we meet all of the limitless forms of beauty and loss, gratitude and grief? What does autumn have to teach us about what it means to be human in this heartbreaking gift of a world?

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