Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Subscribe Play latest Open in podnodRSS feed Show website

21 episodes
Updated Wednesday

Episodes21

Newest first

Wednesday · 1 hr 12 min
Fearing for Fulham, goal celebrations in the shower & the Repatriation of Richard Keys
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: The now-annual breakdown of the Premier League alphabetical distribution and how it makes us feel, who we should "fear for" in the Premier League in 2026/27, what tournaments England legends would have incongruously appeared at if they’d played until they were 40, workshopping a chant for Phil Collins’ son at 1860 Munich, Mohamed Salah's surprise move to Trabzonspor, Argos being sold for the same price as Morgan Rogers, a listener's accidental goal celebration in the shower, and the full story of Richard Keys's summer renaissance. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Tuesday · 54 min
Money-grabbing gargoyles, John Stones' meta-knackered shoulder & Farmer Alan Shearer
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni Infantino the "money-grabbing gargoyle", the inevitable moment for Wenger's Law, a Cliches deep cut buried in an obscure seven-a-side livestream, Sean Dyche’s surprisingly convoluted "top 3 pints", unacceptable penalty descriptions, Scotland gives us a new verb for a thrashing, John Stones’ comedy shoulder, the finer details of set-piece guru Austin MacPhee’s Chelsea move, the concept of an England football team at the Commonwealth Games, and a Welsh farmer with Alan Shearer’s voice. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 29 · 1 hr 10 min
Free Dreamland episode: The joy of watching football on holiday
A concept impossible to over-romanticise, pinpointing the exact Premier League matchweek to represent its sweet spot, the gentle echoing of Martin Tyler across the potholes of a generic bar strip, charmingly error-strewn handwritten fixture lists, the Irish Bar option, the Moon Under Water of Turkish beach bars showing the Prem, spending £3.50 on a 48-hour-old copy of the Mirror in 2001, Faliraki 5-a-side with Leon Osman, one listener’s Eurocamp goalkeeping glory, a stag do in Luxembourg, and an 8/10 Premier League weekend lineup in an Only Fools and Horses-themed bar in Majorca. Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker bring you the latest episode of Dreamland, as they celebrate the immaculate scenario of watching football on holiday. Head to dreamland.footballcliches.com to sign up and get access to the full Dreamland back catalogue Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 23 · 54 min
Secondary goal celebrations & the "we talk about" epidemic: The listeners' loves & hates
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the coolest way to hold a football, football's ongoing misunderstanding of the "instep", a ubiquitous three-word punditry prefix and having to listen to people describing their Sunday League goals. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel welcome Rodri to the exclusive club of players who have "completed football". Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 20 · 1 hr 18 min
Tom Cruise's FIFA-speak, Messi's grassing & the Pure World Cup 2026 XI
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker, Nick Miller and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: a cultural review of the gruelling watch that was the World Cup final, the merits of Ferran Torres' winning goal, England's absurd third-place playoff glory, Jude Bellingham's niche statistical triumph, Cole Palmer gets on the wrong side of Graeme Souness, one listener's highly unnecessary concept of a secondary World Cup plate competition, Premier League referees spotted at weddings and, to wrap up the tournament summer, the Pure World Cup 2026 XI. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 16 · 54 min
(Over)familiar failings, the freshest possible World Cup final & Luis Figo vs T. rex
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 1 Argentina 2, finding anything remotely unfamiliar about England's latest major-tournament exit, gauging the enthusiasm levels for the "FIFA Bronze Final", the valuable freshness of a Spain vs Argentina final, anticipating Tom Cruise's contribution to the half-time show, filthy-sounding World Cup demonym usages, and dinosaur fossil prices finally catch up with football transfer fees. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 14 · 48 min
A little bit all at sea, gyroscope magnitudes & Joe Cole on the pyramids
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the montage-resistant grind of England 2 Norway 1, Thomas Tuchel vs Gabriel Clarke, the prospect of Vindaloo as the soundtrack to this year's John Lewis Christmas advert, ITV's Mark Pougatch talks tactics, revisiting England 3 Argentina 2 (2005), Joe Cole’s stance on the pyramids of Egypt, and kit-man transfer news. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 9 · 50 min
The Aguirre noise, lungbusting thresholds & the Penalty Miss XI
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the enjoyable chaos of Argentina vs Egypt, the exact noise Javier Aguirre made to Anthony Gordon, co-commentators with Alan Shearer's voice, a listener's very niche World Cup spreadsheet, the evergreen haplessness of centre-backs in penalty shootouts, the international managerial merry-go-round and the threshold for a "lungbusting" run. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 6 · 1 hr 7 min
1,114 Dan Burns, retro World Cup controversy & the most unsatisfying noise of the tournament
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: an in-depth cultural review of Mexico 2 England 3, the immaculate Golden Boot race, Donald Trump ushering in a truly retro tinpot World Cup moment, *that* BBC News pronunciation of "Socceroos", unsatisfying Microsoft Windows noises during France vs Paraguay, exclusive giant flag logistics info, the American love for Fletch's commentary, some glorious knockout-stage Jonathan Pearce and Lionel Messi's crisps ad cameos. Meanwhile, the panel absolutely nail the difference between "fashioning" and "conjuring" a goalscoring chance. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
July 3 · 56 min
The Boxpark backlash, unfinished Azteca business & the unluckiest World Cup score-avoider
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: the big World Cup flag question, England 2 DR Congo 1 and the Kaniest finish in the history of Harry Kane, the Big Boxpark Backlash, England's unfinished business at the Azteca, Danny Murphy's cat, the most obscure way anyone has ever accidentally found out the result of a game they were trying to avoid the result for, Emile Heskey on broccoli, football chat in the House of Commons, football podcast theme tunes in Netflix sports comedies and Chelsea push the envelope of Club Statement capitalisation. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 30 · 54 min
A correct year for every last-32 game, Trumpian co-comms & breakfast with Sean Dyche
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker, James Maw and, eventually, Nick Miller. On the agenda: pathetic TV-channel paranoia clickbait from our beleaguered regional press, goalscorers "on the doorstep", Donald Trump's voice in World Cup co-commentary, Andy Townsend ignoring Martin Tyler’s octogenarian wordplay, The New World Order get hold of some VIP tickets for Canada vs South Africa, one man takes the BBC’s World Cup 3D Experience a little too far, the joys of admiring your own crossfield pass, former Leicester midfielders’ names in racing video game soundtracks, Sean Dyche on woke breakfasts and an unprecedented three-man World Cup lineup posing quiz showdown. Meanwhile, the panel decided which year all the World Cup last-32 ties SHOULD be taking place in. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 26 · 49 min
Fox-mode Fletch, Scottish limbo & Andy Burnham's one-on-one finishing
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the wider ripples of England 0 Ghana 0, Scotland’s slightly excessive World Cup purgatory, Darren Fletcher lets his hair down on Fox Sports duty, Andy Burnham’s solid football credentials, sacked managers names in Olivia Rodrigo album tracks and more World Cup lineup-poses quizzing. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 23 · 59 min
The Vamos epidemic, Lineker on ITV & accidental 90s trance in VAR announcements
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Screen Rot's Jake Farrell. On the agenda: the England player least likely to shout "Vamos!" during a game, an emphatic VAR call from a referee during Paraguay vs Turkey, how close the USA are to "they couldn't... coult they?" territory, Martin Keown's collective noun for a goalkeeper's saves, Sam Matterface fails to meet the geographical “from X to Y” threshold, the real damage caused by hydration breaks, a statistical breakdown of World Cup lineup poses and why Richard Keys wants to manipulate the Premier League fixture list. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 19 · 48 min
England's beloved scoreline, Messi's scout badges & the hydration-break hand gesture
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Adam's slapstick attempt to watch England 4-2 Croatia at the pub, the mid-1990s England player recognition skills of French TV, how Cape Verde triggered a social-media threshold, Lee Dixon on Mexican waves, the diminishing number of original ways to write about Lionel Messi, which of the 48 nations least suits being full-named by a commentator, the refereeing hand gesture for hydration break, and why the USA are 90 minutes away from soccer supremacy. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 15 · 47 min
The BBC/ITV truce, World Cup life-bursting & Tina Turner's spot-kick record
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: how the BBC & ITV's tournament has gone so far, Simon Jordan treats a basic World Cup question with the disdain only Simon Jordan could, the genuine majesty of the Azteca Stadium, the very moment this World Cup "burst into life", FIFA's condiment censorship, Brazil get the customary broadcasting greeting and Tom Cruise unveils David Beckham's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Meanwhile, the panel imagine what a club "laughing off" a bid for a player would actually sound like and find a new level of "tenuous official club DVD". Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 11 · 1 hr
Giant lanyards & England camp mood updates: The listeners' World Cup loves & hates
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain the listener entries for a special edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche World Cup fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are viral World Cup fans, the little-known moment that sparked England’s 60 years of hurt, giant FIFA lanyards, the slow death of the phrase “World Cup finals”, and other home nations' infuriation with TV updates from the England camp. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel admire the explosion of online football draft games and pinpoint this World Cup's "no mugs" threshold. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 9 · 51 min
England's Florida scoreboard XI, niche FIFA metrics & watching the World Cup in 4D
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Nick Miller and James Maw. On the agenda: the BBC's co-commentators show some pre-tournament rustiness, FIFA's new plan for pre-kick-off team lineups, the greatest PDF in World Cup history, footballers' names in scathing reviews of West End musicals, the pathetic carry-on of the Real Madrid presidential election, a potentially terrible "4D World Cup viewing experience", a superbly mangled cliche by a hurling pundit and some provisional thoughts on Piers Morgan's World Cup YouTube show. Meanwhile, the panel imagine the football existences of the incorrectly-named England stars of the Florida stadium scoreboard. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 4 · 1 hr 42 min
The Football Cliches Quiz XXV: Cliches vs The England Pod
The 25th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Nick take on The England Pod in a World Cup trivia special. The questions include: Wikipedia-verified World Cup "Battles Of", the stars of the Three Lions video, World Cup hat-trick merchants, tournament debutants, official match balls, UK-based Trinidadians and ex-Premier League managers at this year's tournament. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN You can listen to The England Pod here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
June 2 · 45 min
Stutter steps in Budapest, Switzerland on Saturdays & Keysey's final sign-off
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A cultural review of the Champions League final (feat. commentary intonations and David Schwimmer's divorce), Paul Robinson gets intensely distracted during the Conference League final, Switzerland's curious World Cup scheduling stranglehold, early reports of terrible pub bunting, pundit parenting at the soft play, and Richard Keys’s Concorde lament. Meanwhile, the panel address the latest backlash to stutter-step penalties. Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
May 27 · 51 min
The VAR-monitor jog & fans coming in peace: The listeners' loves & hates
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the exact gait of a referee going over to check the VAR monitor, a tiny element of Baddiel & Skinner's Three Lions you have probably never noticed, the epidemic of fans "coming in peace" to rival club forums and the exact criteria for a player to be said to be “jumping ship”. Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices