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EnterpriseSplaining

Jamie, Maria, Bill

EnterpriseSplaining - The podcast where we try to explain Star Trek: Enterprise to each other! We are bewildered by this show. We have questions - so many questions! Join Jamie, Bill, and Maria as they attempt to make sense of this 22-year-old show that represents one of the strangest chapters of Star Trek history.

Haven’t watched or don’t want to watch the show? No problem! At EnterpriseSplaining, we’ll do that work for you! Every week, one of us will watch an episode and explain it to the others - or try to. No Star Trek knowledge is necessary, although it might help? Who knows. This show is weird. Listen along as we try to uncover exactly what this show was trying to accomplish and what it ended up doing. Will this podcast be useful? Probably not! Will it change the world? UNLIKELY! Will they solve all of humanity’s problems through this exercise? ALMOST DEFINITELY NO. But we’ll have fun doing it and that’s really the point.

Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain [https://bsky.app/profile/enterprisesplain.bsky.social]
Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining [https://www.instagram.com/enterprisesplaining/]
Like us on Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/EnterpriseSplaining]
Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
Sound assistance by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media [https://particulatemedia.com]

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S3 · E16
Thursday · 2 hr 15 min
Archer's Got Brain Worms!
We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 8 “Twilight,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. Archer gets timey wimey brain worms leading to a terrible future where earth is destroyed, humanity is nearing extinction, and Malcolm has a goatee. But don't worry, it's not all bad! T'Pol wears normal clothes for the first time ever! Jamie and Maria are at DragonCon! Look up Jamie’s panels in the DragonCon app by searching for “Jamie Bernstein” on the speakers tab. Rikermendations: Bill: Widow's Bay Maria: Sheep Detective Jamie: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E15
August 20 · 1 hr 11 min
Second Contact: Free Shipping with Xindi Prime!
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 7 “The Shipment,” now that Bill and Jamie have watched it.. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Free Shipping with Xindi Prime!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. Memory Alpha Shirt & Pant reference We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E14
August 13 · 1 hr 51 min
Free Shipping with Xindi Prime! (feat. Dr. Raychelle Burks)
We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 7 “The Shipment,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. Tipped off by last week's Beast-incel, the Enterprise heads to a planet where they believe the Xindi are manufacturing parts of their superweapon only to find a weirdly chill Bigfoot Xindi planet where nobody is aware there's a war on. Also, Trip and Phlox mess with a Xindi weapon to see how it works and it goes exactly as poorly you'd expect. Plus, Guest Raychelle Burks joins us to marvel at the weird science the many safety and security protocols that everyone ignores in this episode. Rikermendations: Raychelle: Buffalo Hunter Hunter - Steven Graham Jones (book) The Ballad of Black Tom - Victor LaValle (book) Bill: The Martians: The True Story of an Alien Craze that Captured Turn-of-the-Century America - David Baron (book) Jamie: Given (Anime) Maria: Mitchell and Webb Are Not Helping + Mitchell and Webb Talk About Some Sketches in a Pretend Room (YouTube series) We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E13
August 6 · 42 min
Second Contact: Hoshi and the Beast!
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 6 “Exile,” where we get into a rare argument over whether the episode’s lack of romance rendered it narratively inert or was a clever twist on Beauty and the Beast. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Hoshi and the Beast!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E12
July 30 · 1 hr 30 min
Away Mission to Section 31
We are taking a short break from Star Trek Enterprise this week to bring you an away mission! Infamous as the lowest-rated Star Trek project on Rotten Tomatoes, the TV movie Section 31 was a huge disappointment to many Star Trek fans, and more importantly, to Maria who now has to attempt to explain this nonsense to Jamie and Bill. Enjoy! We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E11
July 23 · 1 hr 15 min
Hoshi and the Beast!
We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 6 “Exile,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Hoshi is packed off to a rain-swept castle inhabited by a creepy loner! He promises to use his telepathic powers to help the Enterprise if she'll pretend to be his Canadian Girlfriend for a week. Meanwhile, Trip and Archer accidentally strand themselves in space. Why not enjoy a single bite of pizza and Be... our... guest! Rikermendations: Jamie: Mythic Quest Maria: High Potential Bill: Rumpole of the Bailey audio book series by John Mortimer We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E10
July 16 · 33 min
Second Contact: iVombie!
It’s Vombie time as our crew heads out on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 5 “Impulse,” (the one with the Vulcan zombies!) now that Bill and Maria have watched it. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “iVombie!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E9
July 9 · 1 hr 54 min
iVombie!
We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 5 “Impulse,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode where the Enterprise crew investigates a ship filled with Vulcan zombies, or as we like to call them, Vombies! That's right friends, World War V has commenced because the Enterprise has to deal with an honest to god Vombie apocalypse, and unfortunately for them, T'Pol has already started to turn. Photo that Jamie takes ~1:25ish (We would like to point out that Jamie took a photo of the screen rather than an actual screenshot) Rikermendations: Bill: The audiobook of Sam Niell's memoir Did I Ever Tell You This Maria:Tinykin Jamie: The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E8
July 2 · 1 hr 11 min
Second Contact: Commotion at the Lady Stall! (feat. Jim Tigwell)
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 4 “Rajiin,” now that Bill and Jamie have watched it. Jim Tigwell joins us once again because he's apparently a sucker for punishment. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Commotion at the Lady Stall!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. Reference: Screenshot of Archer’s dinner table. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E7
June 25 · 2 hr 6 min
Commotion at the Lady Stall! (feat. Jim Tigwell)
We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 4 “Rajiin,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. While looking for a way to manufacture the space asbestos that will protect them from the weird anomalies, Archer "rescues" a beautiful and mysterious slave girl. In keeping with his taste in women, she turns out to be spying for the Xindi (at least she wasn't actually a slug?) to get information about human physiology to help them build a bioweapon. Oh, and Trip and T'Pol nearly blow up the ship and themselves trying to manufacture trellium-D. Special guest Jim Tigwell joins us and since he knows absolutely nothing about Enterprise at all, we have to try to explain this mayhem to him. Rikermendations: Jim: Kind Words 2 (video game) Bill: Fun Home (graphic novel) Jamie: One Piece (live action Netflix version) Maria: Ghosts & Ghosts UK (TV shows) Other references: Hacks clip from the Dianne Warren segment Listen to Jim narrate Stealing from Wizards We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E6
June 18 · 53 min
Second Contact: People Say We Monkey Around! (feat. Stephen Granade)
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 3 “Extinction,” now that Jamie and Maria have watched it and inexplicably enjoyed this very weird episode where a bunch of members of the Enterprise were turned into ape-like aliens. We're also joined once again by guest Stephen Granade this week. Special thanks to Topher and Bee Brookshire who answered all of our very silly science questions about this episode (psst you should read Bee’s book Pests: How Humans Create Animal Villains). A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “People Say We Monkey Around!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E5
June 11 · 1 hr 24 min
People Say We Monkey Around! (feat. Stephen Granade)
Hey hey, they’re the monkeys! We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 3 “Extinction,” but only Bill has actually watched it and will explain to Jamie, Maria and our special guest Stephen Granade what happened on this episode, where in a quest to track down the Xindi, Archer and co. land on a planet that immediately rewrites their DNA into inarticulate savages who think only of their own species. So, yeah, big change. But then aliens with flamethrowers show up and once again it’s T’pol’s job to save these simians before everything goes burney-burney! Rikermendations: Stephen: The Raven Scholar by Antonia Hodgson Jamie: Pentiment Maria: Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice Bill: Laid-Back Camp We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E4
June 4 · 53 min
Second Contact: Spaceballs: The Star Trek Episode!
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 2 “Anomaly” now that Bill and Maria have watched it and have lots of opinions on how much we all hate that torture storyline. Plus, in our Mammary Alpha segment we discuss the curious case of the two Crewman Fullers. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Spaceballs: The Star Trek Episode!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. Here's Maria's drawing of Archer's hair. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E3
May 28 · 1 hr 31 min
Spaceballs: The Star Trek Episode!
We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 2 “Anomaly,” but only Jamie has actually watched this episode where Archer goes full war criminal and the crew discovers their first large round thing of season 3. Rikermendations: Bill: Deadloch Maria: Scrubs revival Jamie: The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E2
May 21 · 1 hr 6 min
Second Contact: So Long, Suliban!
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 3, Episode 1 “The Xindi,” now that Jamie and Bill have watched it so they can provide their opinions on every single one of T’Pol’s new season three outfits. Plus, in Mammary Alpha we discuss a big miss on the Memory Alpha page for “intermix” and in Read Alerts we go over who would win in a fight between the Enterprise crew and the Rocinante. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “So long, Suliban,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S3 · E1
May 14 · 1 hr 48 min
So Long, Suliban!
We're back after a short break to kick off Enterprise ... sorry, STAR TREK: Enterprise Season 3 with episode 1: The Xindi but only Maria has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise crew are in the Expanse lookin for some Xindi. A trip to a mining planet to gather information goes predictably awry when Trip and Archer are captured and have to escape with the help of the only live Xindi they've ever met. Meanwhile, Trip is having trouble sleeping and Phlox decides to trick him into getting T'Pol to help him. Rikermendations: Bill: Sherlock Holmes: The Definitive Collection (Audiobook read by Stephen Fry) Maria: Young Sherlock (show - Prime Video) Jamie: For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention (Fanfic by thursdaysfallenangel) We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S2 · E54
April 16 · 1 hr 37 min
Computer! End Season Two!
It's been a loooooong road, but we've finally reached the end.... of the halfway point of the series! In this episode, we discuss our overall thoughts on season 2 and our hopes for season 3. We also went back and rewatched the series pilot Broken Bow to see how our feelings on it have changed now that we know the show and characters better. Lastly, we have an extra special Two Truths and a Lie about the first half of season 3 brought to us by our friends Abby and Chris from the other Enterprise podcast First Flight Podcast. We also want to share this original art we commissioned from the artist Enabuns that features Jamie, Maria, and Bill, as well as our producer KO Myers, the voice of our computer Stephen, and our rikermendation’s sponsor Eric, all on the bridge of the NX-01. When we started this podcast, a friend told us that Enterprise starts getting good in season three, and we scoffed and said our podcast was definitely not going to make it that far. And yet, here we are, two years later, with two seasons under our belt and two more to go! Thank you so much to you, our listeners, for having faith (of the heart) in us and our show. We truly would not be continuing this journey if it wasn't for all of you who listen to our show every week. Thank you for listening, for sharing our show with your friends, for sending us lovely messages, and for just being part of the little EnterpriseSplaining community we have created. We appreciate all of you and can’t wait to finally get to start watching Star Trek Enterprise (new show name!) season 3… in four weeks. Yes, we buttered you up to let you know that we’re taking a four week break. I mean, we just watched an entire two seasons of Enterprise, so I think we’ve earned a break. But don’t worry, we will be back. We have two more seasons to explain, after all! And with that, on to Enterprise season 3! See you all in four weeks! We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S2 · E53
April 9 · 57 min
Second Contact: Space Bermuda Triangle!
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting the Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 26 “The Expanse,” now that Maria and Jamie have watched it and have a lot of thoughts on the 9/11 allusions that were a huge part of this episode. We also discuss this lovely print by artist Amir Abou-Roumié, which Maria had on her wall for years without realizing it contained a spoiler for this episode. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “Space Bermuda Triangle!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S2 · E52
April 2 · 1 hr 6 min
Space Bermuda Triangle!
We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 26 “The Expanse,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. It’s the end of the second season of Enterprise and it’s a disaster! On Earth, we mean! A mysterious new race attacks the earth, and it’s up to the NX-01 crew to head into Space Bermuda Triangle (or Spermuda, if you will) to exact revenge in the name of great justice! Meanwhile T’pol considers if risking being turned inside-out is worse than going back to her Vulcan fiance, Trip gets the bloodlust, and Duras has a very, very bad day. Rikermendations: Jamie: Rehash podcast Maria: Thursday Murder Club books Bill: Marrying Mister Darcy card game We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com
S2 · E51
March 26 · 1 hr
Second Contact: What Happens in Decon Stays in Decon! (feat. Jarrah from Women at Warp)
This week, we’re on a second contact mission, revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 25 “Bounty,” now that Maria and Bill have watched it. Plus, our guest from last week, Jarrah from the Women at Warp podcast, is back with us to talk about this episode, which seems to consist mostly of T’Pol writhing around on the ground and walls. We also discuss in depth every baffling part of this screencap of Trip’s bookshelf. A word of warning: If you haven’t listened to the episode before this one, “What Happens in Decon Stays in Decon!,” go listen to that first because this is a follow up to last week. We now have merch! Show your love for EnterpriseSplaining and the cutest beagle ever with a Porthos Appreciation Society shirt! EnterpriseSplaining is proud to be part of the ESO Network. The show is produced by K.O. Myers at Particulate Media Follow us on BlueSky: @enterprisesplain Follow us on Instagram: @enterprisesplaining Like us on Facebook: EnterpriseSplaining Send us an email: enterprisesplaining@gmail.com

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