DnDNerds!

DnDNerds

The Forgotten Realms through the eyes and voices of a crew of nerdy dads! We occasionally burst into song! We laugh at our own jokes! We make obscure pop culture references! Sometimes we even roleplay!

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21 episodes
fortnightly
Avg 2 hr 30 min
English

Episodes 21

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S4 · E127
Sunday · 2 hr 48 min
Hexcrawl 127 - The Tower of Elzid the Red
Tals leads Neville and Lysander as they investigate other Red Wizards in Llorkh. They are hot on the trail of Elzid, who seems to be courting a local farmer's daughter, when they discover that his tower has recently exploded. They rush to investigate, and deal with some old-school traps and a malicious imp as they piece together what happened to the Red Wizard and whether he has any connection to the dastardly Tharidun Mirza.
S4 · E126
September 19 · 3 hr 11 min
Hexcrawl 126 - Llorkh Murder Mystery
While the dwarves are off getting Vint Westland reincarnated, trouble is brewing in Llorkh when the head of security for the Manticore's Muse is slain under mysterious circumstances. Kain leads VS, Neville, and Tals on a hunt for the killer that will take them to hidden corners of Llorkh! VS recruits for his cult of Grandfather Eelism along the way, and they meet an unexpected ally who serves a mighty power in the Greypeak Mountains. It seems the dwarven portal network is under observation by others, including the agent of a sapphire dragon and the nefarious Red Wizards of Thay!
S4 · E125
September 5 · 2 hr 48 min
Hexcrawl 125 - Greywatch Demon Battle
After we recount some Rooms and Teams, Vindalf leads our dwarven explorers Vint, Jendri, Gemwin, and Hokan into the mysteriously abandoned Greywatch, rumored to have been an early casualty of demonic invasion in Ammarindar. After a brief examination of a side entrance, they go in past shattered stone, iron, and adamantine doors to a large room where they are attacked by demons: a howler, a twisted demonic ettin, and a hook-headed babau demon. Gemwin takes on the ettin while most of the rest of the group takes on the howler, and the babau tries to escape and warn its master, the "Spine Feaster" about the dwarves. Vindalf drops a wall of ice that divides up the battlefield, Vint dies terribly from the howler's keening sonic attack and vicious bite, and Hokan looks like he will soon die too, so Vindalf tries to keep Hokan alive while Jendri shoots eldritch blasts and Gemwin lays into the ettin and babau. The party is victorious, but flees the complex with enough parts of Vints body that they hope to be able to reincarnate him by bringing him to the druid Bariq in the west. They retreat to Llorkh and vow to return with their higher-level characters soon.
September 5 · 20 min
Bonus Content: Stories from the Dessert Break
We regale Judd with various tales of the campaign from before he joined us, and he tells us the story of the Donkey Murder Trial. Bonus content only for our Platinum Patreon Members (which is everybody, there is no Patreon)
S4 · E124
August 24 · 2 hr 31 min
Hexcrawl 124 - Relics of Tempus, Abbey of the Broken Blade, and taking the Portal to Greywatch
Eero leads Vint, Flip, Aulderic, and Ibin as they take relics of Tempus from the Abbey of St. Clewyd to Lord Harrand Torblade for sale. He pays them in diamonds and reincarnation unguents for the Battle Standard of Tempus, and accompanies them eastward to the Abbey of the Broken Blade. There, the Sage Skin of Tempus is exchanged for some magical armor and weapons. The party continues east to Dragonfang Mountain and tells the dwarven party there where Greywatch is on their map. The Conquest Dwarves (Gemwin, Jendri, Hokan, and Vindalf) decide to activate their portal to Greywatch, and Vint accompanies them as they step through to a windswept cliff outside the ruined dwarfhold.
August 8 · 2 hr 35 min
Hexcrawl 123 - Feldspar, Mineral Schvitz, and Exploring to Greywatch
Still mourning the loss of Zaza, VS takes the lead with Eero and Ibin. They meet Aulderik, a Mystran cleric investigating the Prismatic caves, who joins the party and is shown the strange random magical properties of the cavern. They converse with "crystal dwarf" Feldspar, who tells them of his friend Dumathoin. Exploring some of the other caverns, they encounter crystal-encrusted and possibly immortal Tyrran monks having a schvitz in a sandsauna and mineral baths. Having apparently explored the whole complex, they depart and explore the nearby mountains, looking for the dwarven ruin known as Greywatch. They inter Zaza in some streams full of szorp fish that he would have loved. Hazbarg the Stone Giant shows them how to find Greywatch but warns it is a difficult climb on an eroded cliff-road. They explore back towards Llorkh, hoping to find some new recruits for the Grandfather Eel cult there.
S4 · E122
July 25 · 2 hr 35 min
Hexcrawl 122 - Prismatic Caves and the Death of Zaza Szorp Buckets
Vint Westerland leads Eero, VS, Ibin, and Zaza as they explore the complex of caves and dwarven stonework known as the Prismatic Caves of Dumathoin. They encounter a training dummy that calls itself by many names and claims to be a powerful wizard, but VS is offended when it disses Grandfather Eel and attacks; the dummy is destroyed but whatever was controlling it in the hat possibly escapes up the fireplace. They discover a permanent Prismatic Wall in one room and avoid hurting themselves on it. They explore an alchemy lab used by later Mystran wizards and Zaza befriends an Iron Cobra there. In a bunkroom, a ghost asks many questions. They see the beautiful central cavern with its huge amethyst crystals, and explore a shrine to Dumathoin now missing its altar. They reach the pond where the waters change color because of a domed (second) Prismatic Wall, and Zaza dives in to investigate. Unfortunately, the red layer inflicts enough fire damage that he starts making death saves, and an unfortunate roll of 1 meant that Zaza died before help could reach him. VS casts Gentle Repose on Zaza's body and swears to return him to Grandfather Eel.
S4 · E121
July 11 · 2 hr 32 min
Hexcrawl 121 - Journey to the Prismatic Caves
From Llorkh, Ibin the Scorcher leads Eero, Zaza, and new party member and dwarven bard Vint Westland northwards, seeking a dwarven ruin to explore. Along the way, they stop at a ranch house and are attacked by murderous doppelgangers, and end up showing mercy to one of them. Zaza tries to tame a giant goat, they fight a random giant centipede, and they spend several days exploring the same mountain hex before finding the color-changing stream associated with the site. They explore the first few rooms and Vint finds a pretty cool warhammer. They hunker down in the guardroom before proceeding further. Happy 5th anniversary to the Hexcrawl Campaign!
S4 · E120
June 27 · 2 hr 45 min
Hexcrawl 120 - Dangers of the Abbot's House and the Birth of Grandfather Eelism
Zaza leads VS, Tals, and Eero on a cleanup of the now-chaos-free abbey. Zaza and some Sharpspear Goblins disagree about who's in charge. A mysterious locket causes maternal confusion between Tals and VS. In the Abbots House, VS nearly gets destroyed by a fireplace ooze when the GM rolls 20, 20, 19, 20 for its opening attacks. Tals puts his arm in a dirty bathtub which exposes him to a nasty disease. Eero gets bit on the face by adders under a bed. Eventually they go to retrieve their mules from a nearby site, but on the way back, Tals' Sewer Plague brings him to the brink of death, which means he has to submit, feverishly, to the worship of Grandfather Eel to be healed. VS decides to stay at the site and build it up as a cult lair for Grandfather Eelism.
June 14 · 3 hr 46 min
Hexcrawl 119 - The Monks of St Clewyd, Part Two
Tals leads Ibn, Eero, VS, and ZaZa as most of the party decides to go all-in on worshiping Grandfather Eel. They investigate the drowned corpses and recover a silver mace, then meet the Seven Sisters, who agree to turn ZaZa into watery form in exchange for the opportunity to eat "Abbot Tasty-Pasty". Zaza infiltrates the monks' sanctum and opens a path for the party, who negotiate, then coerce, Abbot Lummingwyll. They feed him to the bizarre hydra as promised, then return to deal with "The Charge" - a strange being formed of the union of St. Clewyd and his demonic foe. It vomits acid on them but they eventually overcome it, and cast its body into the Chaos Rift. That breaks the rift, ending most of the weird occurrences at the Abbey (though thankfully Grandfather Eel remains, as does Mr. Rag-n-Bones). Lots of treasure is discovered, and the party begins plans to make off with their loot and/or spread the gospel of Grandfather Eel.
May 30 · 2 hr 45 min
Hexcrawl 118 - The Monks of St Clewyd, Part One
After the GM goes on a tirade about historical potash production and we do a live Resources & Teams turn, Eero leads VS, Ibn the Roaster, and Zaza in a continued exploration of the underlevel of the Abbey of St Clewyd. They figure out a tricky door and make contact with the monks inside the western portion of the underlevel, who are split into Cardinite and Loyalist factions and speak of something called "the Charge" that they refuse to let the PCs see. Abbott Lummingwyll convinces them to take a holy mace into the chaos rift to disrupt it. Ibn goes in three times, with different results, and the final time is nearly killed (but saved by the children of Mr Rag&Bone). Eero duels a resurrected monk, and they lower VS down a rope into a well, where he encounters Grandfather Eel, who seeks for worshipers to ascend to godhood. At close of play, the sun has risen on the ruins, but both Ibn and Tals are missing from the party. To be continued!
May 16 · 2 hr 43 min
Hexcrawl 117 - Phantom Cloisters Undercroft Weirdness
VS leads Tals, Ibn the Roaster, and ZaZa back to the Phantom Cloisters by the dark of the new moon. They look for Mr Rag-n-Bones and speak to the children, determining that Violet is missing from a noble family. They see the Ghost Crow Trappers and descend to the undercroft level. There, while they investigate some strange vines, a warp worm attacks and swallows Tals whole. He is expelled when the worm is killed but it disappears into another warp. Animated cherubs and a very bad cosmic rift, Ibn and ZaZa temporarily swapping heads, and Zaza's legs turn into grasshopper legs. A room of chattering skulls and fleshy walls is investigated. They briefly battle some undead abbots, and stop at a confluence of strange waters where corpses lie at the bottom of a pool.
May 2 · 2 hr 49 min
Hexcrawl 116 - Phantom Cloister, Ghost Crows, and Mister Rag-n-Bones
Zaza leads Ibn the Scorcher, VS, Talsarian, and Eero in a nighttime exploration of the ruined Abbey of St Clewyd, also known as the Phantom Cloisters. They meet some ghost crow trappers, then enter the compound through a side entrance. In the herb garden, they meet a ghostly monk who tells Eero a secret, and in the cloisters, they meet another who wishes his bones to be properly buried - he also has a magic spear that Eero takes and some Devilweed Tabac that Ibn smokes. Exploring the ruined chapel, Tals immediately finds a key and the hidden altar compartment where the Battle Standard of Tempus is stored. Eero plays the organ and releases a murder of Ghost Crows that attack the party. They eventually defeat most of them and harvest a single Ghost Crow Quill for Tals. They discover the graveyard with some corpses missing teeth, and bury the bones of the other monk. They also see a small child there but avoid her, and move over to the bell tower. There, Zaza prays to St Woad of the Bread and decides that he is now the Abbot of St Woad. They encounter two other small children who speak highly of Mr Rag-n-Bones and show the adventurers his strange artworks. Zaza summons Mr Rag-n-Bones by tolling the bell but manages to avoid combat by complimenting his artistic style. Mr Rag-n-Bones tells the players about his past as a servant of the Dewdrop Man and how to find Dewdrop Manse in the heart of the Southwood. Before dawn breaks (possibly trapping them there), the party retreats back into the Southwood and makes their way back to Wildfire Caverns to plan their next move.
S4 · E115
April 4 · 2 hr 9 min
Hexcrawl 115 - Abbey of the Broken Blade and Journey to Phantom Cloister
The Caravan Crew, led by Ibn the Scorcher and joined by wizard Tals (featuring Judd in his first DnDNerds appearance), visit the Abbey of the Broken Blade, a place for retired soldiers of war-god Tempus. Eero investigates whether Tempus is the god he's been searching for. They deliver some weapons and try to sell some armor, but instead are told some of the story of a mysterious site more than 150 miles to the west - the Phantom Cloister, also known as the Abbey of St. Clewweth, which only appears at night during the new moon. The party sets out to catch it by the next new moon in two weeks - along the way they battle fire beetles (which Tals successfully harvests fire glands from), stop to trade in Llorkh and at Zath Gor (formerly Oleg's Trading Post), and leave the caravan with Bariq at the Wildfire Caverns. They find some excellent hot springs, which ZaZa really enjoys. As the deadline approaches, they hear the unearthly wailing (or perhaps whaling?) associated with the site.
S4 · E114
March 21 · 1 hr 55 min
Hexcrawl 114 - Grave Matters in Llorkh
In the seedy town of Llorkh, Neville accepts a job to try to steal an ornate sarcophagus from an embalming house run by the Grave Men, a group of smugglers. Flip, Kain, and Lysander accompany him to surveil the place, but first they tangle with a bunch of dancing beggars led by a piper with an unusual head. Once there, Lysander gets drunk on addictive hyacinth wine, then he and Neville infiltrate; but Lysander blows up the front room with Shatter and kills a smuggler, so they flee into the night, pursued by a strange skeleton-man. The following day, they come disguised first as town watch, then later as bounty-hunters with Lysander in tow. While Lysander is in the attic getting harshly questioned by the skeleton man Chakkralka, Flip and Neville find the sarcophagus in the basement and manage to escape with it. Lysander and Kain escape by jumping out a window, and Flip finally gets a wild magic surge while casting Feather Fall on Lysander. Based on the DCC Lankhmar adventure "Grave Matters" by Michael Curtis.
S4 · E113
March 7 · 2 hr 10 min
Hexcrawl 113 - Caravan Journey to Dragonfang Mountain
VS leads the caravan this session, with Ibin the Scorcher and Eero the goliath monk. They buy some mead, sheep, and pigs in Llorkh, then head eastward out of town towards Dragonfang. They pay off a Zhent patrol, hear about Axebeak Falls from some hunters, battle a troll trying to steal a pig, buy an Axebeak mount for VS to train up, learn the location of the Abbey of the Broken Blade, but end up going to Dragonfang, where they resupply the dwarven party who has been living there over the winter.
February 21 · 1 hr 50 min
Hexcrawl 112 - Llorkh Caravan Crew Rumors, Ghoul Fight, and Shenanigans
Eero, Zaza, and VS hear rumors about the Monastery of the Broken Blade (from itinerant mendicant Brother Aerelm), the Black Cats reactions to being blamed for the (other PC's) heist (from aspiring fixer Narder), and something about the Black Network emptying some warehouses (from fish broker Vinchenziana Moory). In the Llodown neighborhood they stumble across some ghouls and get into a fight - Eero goes down multiple times but VS saves him multiple times, which Eero attributes to the favor of battle-god Tempus. They seek out Lord Harrand Tormblade, a patron of the Abbey of the Broken Blade, who gives them a consignment of weapons to deliver to the Abbey. On the way back, they encounter crazed hermit-priest Dintoven of Waukeen digging in a garbage heap, which VS and Zaza eagerly help him with. VS recovers his cursed tongue and is praised for his service to Waukeen, accidentally discovering that he is a vessel of divine will for the second time that day.
S4 · E111
February 8 · 2 hr 22 min
Hexcrawl 111 - Stone Giant Heist in Llorkh
Neville Cavendish puts together a crew for a heist, featuring Flip, Kain, Brimlad the Brawler, and the return of Lysander. A Goliath gang leader sends them on a city-wide scavenger hunt before taking them to Grathka Stonevein, who wants an important ceremonial ledger stolen from the Black Network. She has them meet up with her inside source and a strange wizard to aid their preparations. During the heist, a huge stone colossus rises up from a magical circle to do battle against the party. Narrowly escaping with their loot, the party help stage a scene to blame the crime on some of the guards and on a rival adventuring party, the Black Cats.
January 24 · 2 hr 21 min
Hexcrawl 110 - Winter Caravan to Runedarth
New Party! While the dwarves who took Dragonfang Mountain recover, we meet the Caravan Crew: dwarven arcane brothers Obin the Fortress and Ibin the Scorcher, VS the shifter spore druid, Eero the goliath monk, and the return of ZaZa the goblin rogue, who once served a nixie for a year and has the gills to prove it. They're taking some mules loaded up with iron, steel, and leather from Llorkh up into the mountains in winter, delivering to Runedarth. Along the way, they hear possible fire beetles in the hills, encounter a tannery where they buy more leather and learn about several surrounding hexes, VS makes friends with Petunia the giant goat, and they make their way past Sapphire Falls to arrive safely at Runedarth.
January 10 · 2 hr 44 min
Hexcrawl 109 - Epic Green Dragon Lake Battle
Gemwin, Grom, Vindalf, Hokan, and Jendri team up with Nimira and some of her duergar to go after the green dragon in the dark lake at the bottom of Dragonfang Mountain. They cast several rituals, but as they begin to descend the cave slowly by rope, the dragon ambushes them with its breath weapon. At the bottom, a deadly game of hide and seek begins, with Vineslither the green dragon ambushing from water and hiding back in the murky lake several times. Gemwin is briefly attacked by an assassin vine, Grom heals everybody, Hokan learns to use a duergar firelance, Vindalf clings to the walls as an ape, and Jendri snipes at the dragon from afar. Then, in the huge lake chamber, Grom casts _Control Water_ and basically empties the lake, leaving Vineslither no place to hide. She grabs her egg from atop her treasure hoard and escapes downstream into the underground river, vowing revenge but abandoning her treasure hoard, including several useful magical items.

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