The Mediation Series, Part 2: How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation

A mediator is not a magician. That single line, dropped early in this episode of Divorce Happens, sets the tone for one of the most genuinely useful conversations in the show’s mediation series so far. Host Olivia Howell continues part two of her four-part collaboration with Allison McFadden, a Washington D.C.-Baltimore-area family law attorney, Certified Divorce Coach®, and court-appointed mediator who founded Divorce by Allison after more than a decade practicing family law. If the first episode in this series answered the question of what divorce mediation actually is, this one answers the question almost nobody thinks to ask beforehand: how do you actually prepare to walk into the room? Because as Allison makes clear, preparation isn’t a formality — it’s one of the biggest predictors of whether mediation succeeds. Allison walks listeners through exactly what real preparation looks like, and it’s far more concrete and reassuring than most people expect. She encourages listeners to interview their mediator ahead of time — asking about their style (facilitative versus evaluative), how long sessions run, what topics will be covered, and how they handle high emotion in the room. She also normalizes a fear many listeners carry quietly: the worry of being talked over or steamrolled by a spouse during mediation. Allison’s answer is refreshingly practical — you’re allowed to bring support. A pre-mediation divorce coach, a consulting attorney, even a financial advisor can join the process, and she breaks down exactly how that works logistically, from private side-conversations in a Zoom breakout room to sitting at the table together. Olivia adds her own lived experience here, sharing that her mediation began over Zoom and evolved into each side bringing in their own attorney to help finalize things — without ever coming close to court. What makes this episode so actionable is how far it goes beyond generic advice. Allison gets specific about the documents that actually matter (account and mortgage statements and a school calendar, not birth or marriage certificates), the importance of walking in with a clear intention or “North Star” for why you’re there, and the value of preparing flexible proposals rather than a single non-negotiable demand. She closes with something rarely discussed in divorce circles: how to prepare mentally, naming that mediation can surface real emotional triggers and encouraging listeners to build a plan — through therapy, coaching, or somatic techniques — before those moments catch them off guard. Listeners walk away with a genuine sense of agency: mediation isn’t something that happens to you, it’s a process you can walk into prepared, supported, and clear-eyed. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/ 💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/