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Dad Starting Over

Dad Starting Over

Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place.

I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" "Red Flags" and "REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com

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  • 26 episodes
  • a few times a week
  • Avg 26 min
  • English

Episodes 26

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  • #383
    June 12 · 29 min

    She Was Different Before Kids — What Actually Happened to Your Wife

    Your wife changed after kids. You've felt it for years — the distance, the exhaustion, the version of her you remember from before that seems gone. She's not gone. She's buried. In this episode I break down what actually happens to women after having children — the hormonal shifts that suppress desire for years (not weeks), the identity collision that nobody warns her about, and the "touched out" phenomenon that makes her feel like her body isn't her own. I also share a personal story — a trip my wife and I took to Austin — that showed me exactly what was buried under all of it. And what it actually takes to bring it back. This isn't about fixing a dead bedroom overnight. It's about understanding what's actually happening, stopping the mistakes that make it worse, and learning to cultivate the conditions where connection — real connection — becomes possible again. Because a good marriage after kids doesn't look like the honeymoon. It looks like an EKG. There are spikes. Real ones. Your job is to learn how to make them more likely. 📖 Get the Dead Bedroom Fix: https://deadbedroomfix.com 🤝 Join the Help For Men Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join 📩 The new Dead Bedroom Fix App: https://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=bGibj96r

  • #381
    June 5 · 14 min

    Sexless Marriage… I Told Her It Was Over If Nothing Changed. She Laughed.

    Three years of a sexless marriage. He finally told her it was over if nothing changed. She laughed — then went back to watching TV. Four days later she's acting like nothing happened. In this video I break down what that laugh actually means, why the "normal" behavior after a big conversation is the most dangerous window in a struggling marriage, and what men consistently get wrong in this exact moment. If you're in a sexless marriage and feel like nothing you say lands — this one is for you. 📖 Get the Dead Bedroom Fix: https://deadbedroomfix.com 🤝 Join the Help For Men Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join Get the new Dead Bedroom Fix App!: https://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=bGibj96r

  • #380
    May 29 · 8 min

    Sexless Marriage… Now She’s Always Going Out

    A guy sent me an email that starts off like a lot of others… Sexless marriage. No intimacy. Growing distance. But then something changed. His wife started going out more. Dressing up. Staying out late. Acting like a completely different person. And he’s sitting at home wondering what the hell is going on. In this episode, I break down what it really means when a woman checks out of the relationship… and starts finding her energy somewhere else. We talk about: • Why behavioral shifts matter more than words • The difference between independence and emotional exit • How attraction gets redirected outside the relationship • Why men often ignore the early signs • What you should (and should NOT) do when this starts happening If you feel like your wife is slowly building a life that doesn’t include you… this one will hit. Start here: https://deadbedroomfix.com Check out my Dead Bedroom Fix App! https://studio.com/ralph/deadbedroomfix?c=bGibj96r

  • #379
    May 22 · 9 min

    Sexless Marriage: She Was Different With Him

    A guy emailed me something that a lot of men are quietly thinking but don’t want to say out loud… “My wife used to be wild before me. Now she barely wants anything to do with me.” This one stings. Because it forces you to compare yourself to her past—and wonder what changed. In this episode, I break down what’s really going on when a woman who once had a strong sexual side suddenly shuts it down in a long-term relationship. We talk about: • The science behind the honeymoon phase and why it fades • Why novelty and newness play a bigger role than most people realize • How some people are wired to need “new relationship energy” to feel desire • Why this isn’t always about you—but sometimes it is • What men can actually do (and what they can’t fix) If you’re in a sexless marriage and feel like you’re not getting the version of her that other men got… this one will hit home. Start here: https://deadbedroomfix.com If you want to talk to other men going through this and get real feedback: https://helpformen.com/join

  • #378
    May 15 · 10 min

    Sexless Marriage… Wait, is My Wife Gay?!

    A guy reached out to me after 15 years of marriage and a completely dead bedroom. No intimacy. No desire. Nothing. Then one day, he finds out his wife is cheating. But not with another man… with another woman. Now he’s trying to make sense of it: Is she gay? Is this just a phase? Why does she suddenly have a sex drive again… just not with him? In this episode, I break down what’s really going on when a woman checks out of a marriage and redirects her desire somewhere else. We talk about: • Why female sexuality tends to be more fluid than most men realize • What the research actually says about attraction and arousal • Evolutionary psychology theories behind same-sex exploration • Why sexless marriages don’t mean “low libido” • The uncomfortable truth most men avoid facing If you’re in a sexless marriage or feel like your wife has completely lost interest in you, this will hit close to home. Start with my book here: https://deadbedroomfix.com If you want support from men who understand this and won’t sugarcoat things, check out the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join

  • #377
    May 8 · 11 min

    Sexless Marriage… Then I Saw the Text Messages

    A husband wrote to me after 16 years of marriage. Their sex life had slowly faded until they were barely intimate at all. Then he noticed something strange. His wife became very protective of her phone. One day he looked. What he found wasn’t explicit cheating… but it explained a lot. In this episode we talk about: • Emotional affairs and how they begin • Why sexless marriages create vulnerability • What to do when you discover suspicious messages • Why confrontation often backfires If you’re dealing with a sexless marriage, start here: https://deadbedroomfix.com If you want grounded support from men navigating similar situations, check out the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join

Showing 21–26 of 26 episodes