CuzWords

John Giddens

On CuzWords, two cousins dig into the things that matter and the things that absolutely don’t. From serious takes to pointless tangents, it’s a mix of honest opinions, good-natured jabs, and that one argument that never really ended. Think of it as your weekly dose of cousinly chaos.

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20 episodes
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Avg 1 hr 6 min
English

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S1 · E51
Monday · 1 hr 1 min
Tesla Made a Car That Does Barrel Rolls
What happens when artificial intelligence makes humans immortal? Apparently, we become house cats, college football players demand 1,000 years of eligibility, and your grandfather might end up younger than you. Madison and Michael kick off Episode 51 celebrating Auburn's shocking victory over Georgia before diving headfirst into the future of AI, reversing aging, and whether the first person to live 1,000 years might already be walking among us. Then Michael shares one of the wildest gym stories yet: a guy agrees to help move a lawnmower, gets his vehicle backed into, and suddenly hears the words nobody wants to hear in that situation: "I got a gun." But we're not finished. The cousins debate Tesla's alleged flying Roadster demonstrations, whether jumping over traffic counts as practical transportation, and the possibility of another massive volcanic eruption. Naturally, this leads to a brilliant new climate-change strategy: just blow up a few volcanoes. Finally, they invent an entire Spider-Man movie without seeing it, debate whether Marvel has become impossible to keep up with, and discuss censorship on modern social media. It's college football, immortality, questionable gym acquaintances, flying cars, volcanoes, and completely fictional movie spoilers. Just another week on CuzWords.
S1 · E50
October 12 · 1 hr 3 min
Fifty Episodes of Questionable Decisions
CuzWords has officially reached Episode 50, and Madison and Michael are celebrating the only way they know how: by revisiting some of the worst decisions they've ever made. Things start with a hurricane that apparently forgot how to be a hurricane and Michael attempting to explain meteorology despite admitting he's no James Spann. Then Madison shares how his girlfriend's cooking accidentally summoned the fire department—which promptly showed up at the wrong house. At least dinner was good. But the real disaster begins when Michael revisits his single days and the time he accidentally invited TWO Bumble matches on the same date. His brilliant solution? Bring Madison along as a backup date. Somehow, that wasn't even the worst decision Michael made that night. The cousins then revisit their college drinking stories, including Michael fighting a tree, a speaker, and apparently his own better judgment, while Madison recalls a Super Smash Bros. drinking tournament that left him with bruises he couldn't explain. Eventually, the conversation returns to its natural habitat: Halo. Madison and Michael discuss 128-player Halo 3 multiplayer, Project Reclaimer, battle royale in New Mombasa, the future of independent game development, and whether the people who actually love Halo should be the ones making it. They even try naming a hypothetical new Halo development studio, with suggestions ranging from Project Scarab to the unforgettable I Would've Been Your Daddy Studios. Fifty episodes in, the conversations haven't gotten any more organized. And at this point, why would they? Welcome to Podcast.
S1 · E49
October 5 · 1 hr 4 min
Spot Me… No, Push Down!
Episode 49 starts with Madison and Michael doing something CuzWords has somehow avoided for 48 episodes: eating directly into the microphones. The plan was an Oreo taste test, but rural Alabama had other ideas. Instead, the cousins crack open Chips Ahoy’s mystery-flavor cookies for a chance at $25,000—and immediately discover that “accept all cookies” means something very different when you’re literally eating the cookies. After conducting an extremely scientific taste test, the conversation moves from questionable snack decisions into an even stranger environment: the gym. Madison and Michael have encountered some characters over the years, but one particular gym regular may be in a category of his own. He turns off the fans because the gym apparently needs to function as a sauna, ignores the signs telling him to keep his shirt on, kicks an industrial fan into the wall—and asks Michael for some of the strangest workout “spots” imaginable. Including a leg extension where “spot me” apparently means: No, don't help me lift it. PUSH DOWN. HARDER. From there, the cousins get into gym etiquette, people who spend more time talking than exercising, Michael's inability to escape conversations, and the dreaded social vampire—the person who can see you're trying to leave but somehow finds another 15 minutes of conversation hidden inside you anyway. Eventually they make their way to Michael's upcoming performance of Murder on the Orient Express, which Madison immediately confuses with The Polar Express, complete with Tom Hanks, the North Pole, and Santa's bell. It's mystery cookies, gym psychopaths, social vampires, theater nerds, and two guys discovering that an entire package of Chips Ahoy apparently doesn't last very long when you put it between them. Spot me. Actually… No. Push down.
S1 · E48
September 28 · 1 hr 12 min
Can Activision Save Halo?
CuzWords Episode 48 starts exactly where you’d expect a serious gaming discussion to start: cheesecake, Waffle House orders, pizza buffets, and Michael completely destroying his diet with three plates of food, a salad, and two desserts. Then things get serious. Madison and Michael travel back to the glory days of Halo vs. Call of Duty, when choosing the wrong game could legitimately determine whether a friendship was worth pursuing. Now, after years of questionable decisions surrounding Halo, the unthinkable has happened: the Call of Duty side may be getting the keys to Halo. And the former Halo kids have some feelings about it. The cousins break down what went wrong after Bungie, whether Activision can revive the franchise, which developer they’d trust with the next game, and the horrifying possibility that Halo could simply become Call of Duty in space. Then Madison starts designing his own absurdly ambitious Halo game involving massive multiplayer battles, military hierarchies, real-time strategy, promotions, and one poor player somehow commanding everyone else. It’s nostalgia, gaming tribalism, questionable food decisions, and two millennials trying to process the fact that one of the biggest rivalries of their childhood has somehow come full circle.
S1 · E47
September 21 · 1 hr 5 min
Master Halo Wishes Me a Happy Birthday
Episode 47 starts peacefully enough with Madison and Michael watching the sunset—two color-impaired cousins trying to determine what color it actually is. Naturally, that turns into rainbows, Sunday school, Pokémon, “Master Halo,” fake Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and the realization that there are now more than 1,000 Pokémon. From there, things escalate. The cousins get into AI, fuel prices, diesel trucks, nuclear power, local data centers, putting data centers in space, colonizing Mars, and the apparently simple requirement for seeing the future: just stay alive for five more years. Then Madison declares war on sugar, explains why “just one bite” can turn into a multi-week sugar bender, and admits that if science offered a high-protein IV that eliminated the need to eat, he’d seriously consider it. But the centerpiece comes when Madison shares an early birthday present from his girlfriend: a personalized message from Steve Downes, the voice of Master Chief, wishing him a happy 33rd birthday. This immediately leads to two grown men discovering just how unimpressive their voices sound when compared with Master Chief. The episode wraps with old birthday presents, Michael’s childhood habit of “testing” Madison’s gifts before giving them to him, Auburn football misery, and the theory that future generations may eventually make fun of millennials simply for watching sports.
S1 · E46
September 14 · 1 hr 13 min
Please & Thank You, AI Overlords
Episode 46 of CuzWords starts with Antarctica, television, and changing technology before turning into one of Madison and Michael's longest conversations yet about artificial intelligence and what the next several decades could look like. After revisiting the Thwaites Glacier and debating the wisdom of camping on a piece of ice that could eventually break away, Michael talks about his upcoming role in Murder on the Orient Express. That leads into Law & Order, television longevity, actors aging with their characters, and the increasingly difficult job of keeping decades-old shows relevant to younger audiences. Then the conversation shifts toward AI. Madison and Michael discuss fears surrounding increasingly capable artificial intelligence, the potential displacement of existing careers, the global race to develop more advanced systems, and what might happen if AI eventually becomes substantially more capable than the humans who created it. But the conversation isn't entirely pessimistic. Madison argues that we're living through an extraordinary turning point in history. Rather than assuming the future inevitably resembles Terminator or The Matrix, he considers the possibility that AI could accelerate scientific discovery, space exploration, medicine, technology, and entirely new industries that are difficult to imagine today. They also debate a stranger question: if an artificial intelligence eventually displays self-preservation and characteristics we associate with living things, should humans begin treating it differently? The final portion of the episode puts AI's current abilities to a much less serious test as Madison and Michael use it to generate rounds of real-or-fake trivia involving UFOs, the stock market, Halo, and bizarre scientific research. Somehow this produces everything from meme stocks and Pentagon UFO reports to cyborg cockroaches, goldfish playing Grand Theft Auto, soil-testing underwear, and the entirely fictional possibility of Master Chief fighting a giant space shark. The future may be uncertain. But apparently it's going to be entertaining.
S1 · E45
September 7 · 1 hr 6 min
Tooth Bump
Episode 45 begins with the United Nations apparently deciding the world needs a new map, which naturally sends Madison and Michael down a rabbit hole involving Africa, Antarctica, a doomsday glacier, Antarctic slang, flat-Earth ice walls, hidden continents, Mars, and frozen Godzilla-sized monsters supposedly waiting underneath the ice. At one point the conspiracy map becomes so elaborate that Michael asks the only reasonable question: are we basically living on an infinite Minecraft server? Then Madison introduces an issue modern society has somehow failed to solve. You're talking on Bluetooth headphones. You get into your car. Your phone automatically switches the call to the car speakers. You miss ten seconds of conversation. There wasn't a word for this. There is now. Madison has already started training people to understand it, has used it repeatedly on real phone calls, and fully intends to take credit when Merriam-Webster eventually recognizes his contribution to the English language. From there, the cousins celebrate Chief's first birthday, discuss his refusal to walk because he's already too efficient at crawling, his first serious encounter with sugar, the Giddens family's inability to resist food, donuts that wouldn't survive four hours in the room, and why Chief apparently prefers diaper pails, dryer vents, cat food, and shower drains to actual toys. The second half turns into a major nostalgia trip through Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, SpongeBob, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Static Shock, Jackie Chan Adventures, Dragon Ball Z, Saturday morning cartoons, and the childhood agony of waiting an entire week for the next episode. It's Antarctica conspiracies, parenting, Bluetooth terminology, childhood television, and the official introduction of a word nobody asked for but everybody might eventually need.
S1 · E44
August 31 · 59 min
Bringing His Dishes Home to Mommy
Episode 44 begins with a pretty major milestone: Chief is almost one year old. Michael reflects on how quickly the first year of fatherhood has gone, Chief learning words, crawling everywhere, getting ready to walk, and the important next stage of childhood development—being old enough to mow the lawn. That somehow leads to one of Michael's finest college stories: the time he actually loaded his dirty dishes into garbage bags, drove them home, and had his mom wash them. Michael insists he was simply following instructions. Madison calls it malicious compliance. Then comes the question John apparently avoided answering his entire life: Is it "silverware"... or "civilware"? From there, the cousins wander through dad fanny packs, SoBe drinks, forgotten candies, theater kids, dating stories, Gen Z apparently forgetting how to dance, Michael's former freestyle-rap career, and the revelation that his current gym playlist includes Whitney Houston's "I'm Every Woman." The nostalgia keeps rolling with Pandora, LimeWire, iPods, early internet memes, "that's what she said," Scumbag Steve, Philosoraptor, Kermit sipping tea, and whether Gen Alpha's "6-7" can really compete with what millennials brought to meme culture. Eventually they remember they actually prepared a list of topics and move into geography, the "Lake of America," a wild local high-speed chase, Coyote vs. Acme, Avengers, Spider-Man being uploaded to TikTok at double speed, and the inevitable future where their grandkids have to teach them how to operate a Neuralink. It's another CuzWords episode where nobody really knew where the conversation was going—and Google ended up doing most of the heavy lifting.
S1 · E43
August 24 · 1 hr 4 min
Take Them to the Water Temple!
CuzWords Episode 43 explores gaming culture, digital ownership, nostalgia, and the surprisingly difficult question of what actually makes someone a “gamer.” The episode begins with a discussion about GTA VI and reports of a hacker group attempting to pressure Rockstar over issues including physical releases, microtransactions, offline access, and long-term game ownership. That leads into a broader conversation about the Stop Killing Games movement, live-service titles, pay-to-win mechanics, and what consumers should reasonably expect after purchasing a game. The conversation then develops into an extended debate over gaming identity. Madison argues that someone who exclusively plays sports titles may be more accurately described as a sports fan, while Michael believes the amount of time and dedication someone puts into playing matters far more than the genre. From Madden and NBA 2K to Halo, Call of Duty, The Sims, Rocket League, and Ocarina of Time, the cousins attempt to determine where—if anywhere—the line should be drawn. The second half loosens things up with a series of hypothetical “push the button” scenarios involving money, travel, food, health, and inconvenient tradeoffs. The episode also includes an update as Chief approaches his first birthday, reflections on where the podcast itself might go next, recurring gym stories, and a soundboard experiment that proves some ideas probably work better in theory. It’s a funny but surprisingly thoughtful episode about gaming identity, consumer ownership, nostalgia, and the arbitrary lines we draw around the things we enjoy.
S1 · E42
August 17 · 1 hr 1 min
President Michael Declares National Ice Cream Day Everyday
In Episode 42 of CuzWords, Madison and Michael move from personal fitness struggles into a wide-ranging conversation about natural disasters, sports, science fiction, and the future of one of gaming’s most recognizable franchises. The episode begins with their respective attempts to survive leg day before shifting toward recent earthquake activity and speculation about what a major seismic event could mean for California or the Caribbean. That leads naturally—or perhaps unnaturally—into last week’s failed gravity-blip prediction, NASA conspiracy videos, the space race, alien invasions, and how humanity might respond to a threat from beyond Earth. The cousins then examine a provocative debate involving former NBA players, WNBA eligibility rules, competitive fairness, and whether professional sports could eventually adopt a tiered promotion-and-relegation system similar to European soccer. The final portion returns to Halo. After discussing reports that other major studios could become involved with the franchise, Madison proposes Halo Reborn: a new installment created by the original Bungie team that treats the post-Halo 3 storyline as Master Chief’s nightmare and restores the original human-versus-Covenant conflict. It’s another unpredictable CuzWords conversation where fitness, earthquakes, politics, aliens, sports, and video games somehow become part of the same discussion.
S1 · E41
August 10 · 1 hr 6 min
The Gravity Blip Survival Guide
CuzWords Episode 41 starts exactly where you'd expect—with a serious discussion about whether showing cleavage would increase podcast viewership before immediately spiraling into Halo, Microsoft, TikTok brain rot, and the internet's latest conspiracy theories. The cousins dive headfirst into Flat Earth theories, debate the viral "7-second gravity blip" that's supposedly going to send everyone floating into the sky, and spend far too much time figuring out the best place to be when gravity mysteriously turns back on. From there, the conversation bounces through superhero movie flops, movie theater popcorn, Little Debbie snacks, local bakeries, Raising Cane's vs. Guthrie's, Pizza Schmizza nostalgia, and why every small town deserves a great diner. The episode wraps up with workplace icebreakers, terrible "fun facts," why some people seem to have no personality, and how AI is changing careers faster than anyone expected. It's conspiracy theories, comfort food, cousin logic, and absolutely no scientific peer review.
S1 · E40
August 3 · 1 hr 17 min
Boots, Butter & Bad Ideas
Episode 40 has absolutely no business making this much sense... because it barely has a topic. John and Michael start by talking competitive Halo before somehow finding themselves discussing airline food, passenger rail, flying drones, Waffle House nutrition, sushi buffets, breakfast casseroles, Chamber of Commerce meetings, radio, TikTok attention spans, TV nostalgia, How I Met Your Mother, why women remember outfits forever, and whether guys could wear mismatched shoes without anyone noticing. Along the way they debate XM Radio, emergency broadcasts, business networking, old TV shows, graphic T-shirts, and Michael somehow invents a company that makes bulletproof helmets after being asked what business he'd start. It's one of those classic CuzWords episodes where the destination doesn't matter nearly as much as the conversation getting there.
S1 · E39
July 27 · 1 hr 5 min
The Encrapification of Everything
Episode 39 starts with Halo... and somehow stays there a lot longer than either cousin expected. John and Michael dive into Microsoft's latest Halo release, why charging $80 for essentially a remaster rubbed longtime fans the wrong way, whether Xbox has officially surrendered the console war, and why nostalgia can only carry a franchise so far. From there they spiral into Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey, movie casting, Marvel's current direction, Rick & Morty, forgotten Halo maps, Forge mode, and why modern entertainment keeps chasing remakes instead of creating something new. The second half shifts from gaming frustrations to real-life ones as Michael gives an update on the never-ending bed bug saga, roof repairs, pest control nightmares, and why owning a home sometimes feels like a full-time job. John also shares how LegalShield unexpectedly helped solve a business problem and why having a lawyer send one letter can change everything. It's an episode about getting older, watching your favorite franchises change, and discovering that adult life somehow has even more boss battles than Halo ever did.
S1 · E38
July 20 · 1 hr 2 min
Is a Hot Dog a Taco?
Episode 38 starts with one simple question: "How's life been?" For Michael, the answer is... expensive. Within the span of two weeks he dealt with a leaking roof, bed bugs, a broken oven, pest control mishaps, emergency home repairs, and enough unexpected expenses to make Dave Ramsey proud. From there, the cousins naturally drift into what they do best: talking about absolutely everything. They revisit Halo, wonder why modern gaming has lost its magic, debate whether PCs have officially replaced consoles, and ask the important question nobody else is asking: Is a hot dog actually a taco? Somehow that leads into classifying lasagna, banana pudding, pot stickers, food trucks, childhood injuries, Papaw's questionable home medical procedures, old family memories, Saturday morning cartoons, and why getting older isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be. It's another classic CuzWords episode where the destination was never the point.
S1 · E37
July 13 · 1 hr 3 min
Thick Bottoms and Dyslexia Fonts
Episode 37 starts with Fourth of July cookouts, leftover hot dogs, and Michael trying to watch the World Cup while pretending to pay attention to the podcast. From there, the cousins dive into Banana Ball, the state of modern baseball, a man who allegedly bought 16 beers at a game, and whether everything on the internet should now just be assumed to be AI. Then Madison makes a discovery that might explain something he's wondered about his entire life: he may be dyslexic. After trying a font specifically designed for people with dyslexia, reading suddenly goes from feeling like "walking through sand" to "gliding over water." What follows is a surprisingly deep—and frequently hilarious—conversation as Michael desperately tries to understand exactly how John's brain processes the letters B and D, why Madison has always hated subtitles, and whether this discovery means he might finally become an anime guy. The conversation then turns to privacy-focused phones, the massive 17,000 mAh battery and built-in projector of the Tank 5, and John's plan to see whether a smartphone could completely replace his laptop and desktop. Could our phones eventually become our computers, gaming consoles, AI assistants, and everything else? The cousins wrap things up with personal AI servers, robots doing household chores, whether the future will look more like The Jetsons or Mad Max, and the old internet theory that The Flintstones and The Jetsons might actually exist in the same universe.
S1 · E36
July 6 · 1 hr 3 min
How NOT to Fix a Toilet
Episode 36 has everything—from 100-degree Alabama heat to accidentally becoming the most infamous customer a local restaurant has ever seen. Michael returns from singing at a Missouri wedding where everything was performed completely a cappella, shares hilarious stories involving his mom introducing her 33-year-old son as someone who "wants to be a sports broadcaster when he grows up," and compares Midwestern potlucks to Southern ones. Then comes the story everyone will remember. Trying to be helpful after finding a broken toilet somehow turns into accidentally shattering the porcelain tank lid inside a restaurant bathroom. Between the owner, the awkward silence, and earning the nickname "Toilet Smasher," it quickly becomes one of the funniest stories ever told on the podcast. The cousins also dive into generational differences, theories about leaded gasoline and empathy, the changing nature of violent crime, World Cup fever sweeping America, why international visitors are falling in love with Buc-ee's, and why America may be even better than many people realize. It's another classic CuzWords episode full of stories that somehow go from heartfelt... to completely unhinged in a matter of minutes.
S1 · E35
June 29 · 1 hr 19 min
Can You Open a Subway Inside Another Subway?
CuzWords Episode 35 begins with an impromptu Wednesday recording as Michael prepares to travel for a family wedding and the cousins settle into another relaxed conversation. The discussion starts with excitement surrounding Halo's upcoming Campaign Evolved, leading to stories about growing up with Halo, favorite controllers, forgotten gaming memories, and the games that shaped their friendship. Along the way, they explore social media habits, streaming services, house hunting, fast-food nostalgia, gym culture, and the realities of adulthood—from mortgages to changing priorities. The episode concludes with an extended conversation about entrepreneurship, free markets, and the role of government, using everything from pressure washing businesses to private firefighters as examples in a thoughtful (and often humorous) debate. It's a wide-ranging episode that blends gaming, business, philosophy, and everyday life into another uniquely CuzWords conversation.
S1 · E34
June 22 · 1 hr 7 min
She Traveled the World and Found Paradise... I Mean, Parasite
CuzWords Episode 34 features a special guest appearance from cousin Jennifer (aka Jen, aka Squeaks), whose unique lifestyle and travel experiences provide one of the show's most diverse conversations to date. Jen shares stories from years of backpacking, long-distance hiking, international travel, and outdoor adventures, including completing the Appalachian Trail, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, navigating grizzly bear territory, and auditioning for Survivor. The conversation also explores family memories, childhood stories, and the different paths each cousin has taken in life. Along the way, they discuss risk-taking, personal growth, travel, and the lessons that come from spending years exploring unfamiliar places and cultures. One of the episode's most memorable segments focuses on Jen's long health journey, including a mystery illness that ultimately led to the discovery of a persistent parasite affectionately nicknamed “Pete,” creating both challenges and plenty of unexpected humor. The episode closes with discussions about adventure, health, outdoor living, and the importance of embracing experiences that push us beyond our comfort zones. It's a fun and thoughtful episode about family, resilience, exploration, and the stories that connect us no matter how far we travel.
S1 · E33
June 15 · 1 hr 6 min
Forest Fire vs. Tornado: The Movie
CuzWords Episode 33 begins with Michael recovering from one of the worst bouts of food poisoning he's ever experienced, which somehow leads directly into a discussion about forgotten English words like hither, thence, and thither. After a brief and unsuccessful attempt at becoming a language podcast, the cousins shift gears into movies, internet culture, and independent creators turning small online projects into major productions. That quickly spirals into discussions about the Backrooms movie, Red vs. Blue, and why Hollywood always ruins things once they become successful. Things really go off the rails when the conversation turns toward hurricanes, particle accelerators, nuclear bombs, and the completely reasonable question: What would happen if we dropped a nuke into a hurricane? From there, the cousins accidentally create the “Catastrophe Cinematic Universe,” featuring tornadoes, forest fires, tsunamis, solar flares, and a retired Dust Bowl being recruited for one final mission. The episode wraps up with fitness talk, cheat meals, fasting, bone broth, soccer injuries, and an argument over whether getting kicked by a soccer player hurts more than getting hit in the shin with a spinning 25-pound bar. It's science, stupidity, and cousin logic at its finest.
S1 · E32
June 8 · 1 hr 12 min
Big Glasses Doesn't Want You To Hear This
In Episode 32, Madison and Michael recap Michael's birthday celebration, including a Hot Ones-inspired challenge that pushed several participants far beyond their comfort zones. The conversation explores pain tolerance, friendly competition, and the surprisingly different ways people respond to extreme experiences. The discussion expands into fitness routines, fasting, health habits, electric lawn equipment, solar energy, homeownership, and severe weather. As a thunderstorm rolls through during the recording, the cousins share stories about tornadoes, preparedness, and life in the Southeast. The episode closes with a surprisingly detailed debate about eyesight, glasses, and whether vision can be improved through training rather than correction. It's a conversation that blends curiosity, skepticism, and humor in a way that only CuzWords can.

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