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Conversations from the Heart

Yvette Erasmus

A weekly, soul-nourishing podcast offering psychologically grounded, heart-centered reflections on human relationships, inner healing, and compassion-based communication.

Focused on live mini-coaching moments to help callers shift from reactive, domination-based communication to collaborative, heart-centered connection. Listen for new scripts for stuck situations, new ways of responding to old relationship dynamics and guidance on how to approach these situations with empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication strategies. Here, we emphasize understanding both one's own needs and the needs of others, creating safe spaces for vulnerable conversations, and finding ways to express ourselves authentically while respecting others' boundaries.

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21 episodes
weekly
Avg 39 min
English

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Monday · 44 min
#160 - Care Without Collapse
What happens when we feel pressure to care, but we really don't? In this episode, we explore the tension between wanting to be emotionally available, while also wanting to protect boundaries regarding our energy and sense of self. We unpack how our reactions are often intelligent forms of protection shaped by past experiences. And instead of trying to perform the “right” kind of support, we explore what it means to be real, honest, and connected, without collapsing into someone else’s emotional world. This is an invitation to move beyond fixing, performing, or withdrawing, and into a more grounded, honest, and sustainable way of being in relationship with others. Read more on the blog. Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
August 17 · 36 min
#159 - When Connection Strategies Backfire
In this episode, we dive into those moments when we’re upset and reach for connection, but instead of closeness, we get distance, defensiveness, or overwhelm. And somehow, trying harder only makes it worse. We explore what’s really happening in those moments, and why our attempts at connection don’t always land the way we hope. This isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s about understanding the deeper patterns at play, and how to stay grounded when connection doesn’t happen the way we hoped. We’ll look at what it means to grow our capacity to stay with ourselves, even when others can’t meet us in that moment. Because real change doesn’t come from perfect communication. It comes from learning how to relate to ourselves and others with more awareness, steadiness, and care. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
August 10 · 34 min
#158 - The Trap of Being a "Good" Partner
What if trying to be a “good partner” is actually hurting your relationship? In this episode, we explore a powerful and often invisible dynamic: how self-sacrifice, overgiving, and emotional suppression can quietly erode connection. When one partner takes on the role of “giver,” it can create a cycle of resentment, emotional overwhelm, and disconnection, despite the best intentions. In this episode's coaching conversation, we unpack: Why overgiving creates pressure, not connection The hidden cost of self-sacrifice in relationships How to stay present with emotions without trying to fix or manage them The difference between needs and strategies (and why it matters) What it actually looks like to stay connected to yourself in a relationship This episode is for anyone who feels like they’re “doing everything right" and still feels unseen or unmet. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
August 3 · 23 min
#157 - Can I Trust Myself When I Feel This Much?
There are moments in life when our inner world gets so loud that we stop trusting ourselves. We feel everything (love, grief, longing, confusion) and instead of clarity, we find ourselves pulled in different directions. It's difficult to tell if our feelings are guiding us or misleading us. In this episode, I talk with Kate, who is navigating the end of a relational “pause” with someone she still deeply cares about. As the moment of decision approaches, she finds herself overwhelmed by conflicting emotions and unsure how to access her own discernment. What unfolds is a powerful exploration of: Why clarity becomes so difficult when emotions are intense The tension between wanting repair and wanting to move forward in relationships How emotional flooding is often a sign of healing, not dysfunction Why learning to relate to your feelings is more important than trying to control or interpret them We learn we don’t need to trust every feeling, but we can learn to trust our capacity to stay with ourselves inside our feelings. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
July 27 · 31 min
#156 - How to Stay Open When You Feel Judged or "Fixed"
Have you ever opened up to someone, only to feel corrected, advised, or subtly judged? In this episode, we explore why “help” can sometimes feel like disapproval, and what’s actually happening in our nervous system when we begin to shut down. Speaking with Nate, we unpack the gap between intention and impact, the protective patterns that get activated when we feel unseen, and how to begin finding our voice again in those moments. This episode is for anyone who has: Felt overwhelmed by unsolicited advice or fixing Noticed themselves shutting down in conversations Struggled to ask for what they actually need Wondered why certain interactions feel so activating This is an invitation to soften your inner world, strengthen your voice, and build relationships rooted in real understanding, not correction. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
July 20 · 43 min
#155 - Does Your Child Think You're the Problem?
What happens when the behavior that triggers you most is something you recognize in yourself? In this conversation, we explore what it means to be on the receiving end of harsh criticism, and the shock of realizing we’ve done the same thing to others. This episode unpacks grandiosity as a protective strategy, how shame and powerlessness drive disconnection, and what it looks like to respond with clarity, boundaries, and care, especially as a parent. We'll Discuss: •Why grandiosity and criticism are often self-protection, not character flaws •How to respond when someone is attacking or diagnosing you •The difference between being “good” and being real in relationships •How to set boundaries without shutting down connection •Why your child (or partner) reflecting your past can be a powerful opportunity for healing Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
July 13 · 45 min
#154 - The Cost of Being “Good”: Breaking Patterns of Self-Abandonment
What happens when speaking up for yourself doesn’t just feel uncomfortable, but unsafe? In this episode, we explore the hidden cost of being “good”, when agreeability, accommodation, and self-sacrifice become survival strategies that disconnect us from our own voice. We unpack: •Why asking for what you want can trigger shame, fear, or collapse •How early relational dynamics shape patterns of self-abandonment •The difference between healthy negotiation and domination dynamics •How to recognize when someone is unable to meet you •What it means to stay with yourself in the face of pushback This is a conversation about reclaiming your voice, building self-trust, and learning to choose yourself, without losing your capacity for care and connection. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
July 6 · 55 min
#153 - When You’re Not Getting What You Need in a Relationship
What do you do when someone you love can’t meet you in the way you need? In this episode, we explore the emotional and relational complexity of unmet needs, whether with a parent, a child, or someone close to us. Through two powerful real-life conversations, we unpack the difference between grief and control, the limits of communication, and the shift from trying to change others to relating to what’s actually here. In this episode, we explore: •Why unmet needs often lead to urgency, over-effort, and self-abandonment •The role of grief when connection isn’t available in the way we long for •How to shift from control and persuasion to invitation and choice •What it means to take responsibility for your side of a relationship This is a grounded, compassionate look at what it means to love without losing yourself. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
June 29 · 35 min
#152 - When to Step In (and When to Let Go): When Someone You Love is in a Harmful Relationship
When someone we love is in a relationship that’s causing harm, knowing what to do can feel incredibly confusing. Do we step in, or step back? In this follow-up conversation from last week, we speak again with Liza, who is now supporting her son through a relationship that is leaving him anxious, overwhelmed, and disconnected from himself. Together, they explore how to recognize when a relationship has crossed from challenging into harmful, and what it means to respond with both care and clarity. What you’ll learn: •How to recognize when a relationship is harmful (not just challenging) •When it’s appropriate to step in, and how to do it without controlling •The difference between support, rescue, and intervention •How to stay out of triangulation while still being deeply relational •Why the “net effect” of a relationship matters more than intention Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
June 22 · 34 min
#151 - How to Step Out of Family Triangulation
What do you do when the people you love pull you in opposite directions? In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, I speak with Liza, a mother who finds herself caught in a painful family dilemma. Her youngest son is in his first serious relationship, and his older siblings believe the relationship is unhealthy. They’ve drawn a hard line: if the girlfriend is present, they won’t be. Suddenly Liza is standing in the middle, loving all of her children and feeling the pressure to choose sides. This conversation explores a dynamic that shows up in almost every family at some point: triangulation. When tension arises between two people, a third person often gets pulled in to manage the conflict, absorb the anxiety, or solve the problem. But what if the most loving thing we can do is step out of the middle? Together we explore what it means to move from trying to manage everyone else’s relationships to standing clearly in our values and vision for the kind of family we want to be part of. This shift can change everything. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why family conflicts often pull someone into the middle, and why that role is so exhausting • How love and protectiveness can accidentally turn into control • A powerful shift from trying to manage outcomes to standing clearly for your values If you’ve ever felt responsible for keeping everyone happy, smoothing over family conflict, or holding a family together when others can’t meet each other, this conversation will resonate deeply. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
June 15 · 27 min
#150 - How to Stay Grounded When Others Disagree With You
What happens after you speak your truth… and someone disagrees? In this episode, we explore how to stay grounded in yourself when your perspective isn’t affirmed, mirrored, or supported by others. Through a live coaching conversation, we unpack: •Why disagreement can shake our confidence, even when we felt clear before •The difference between seeking support and outsourcing our self-trust •How to choose whose opinions actually matter •A powerful shift in how to ask for feedback that supports growth •How to stay open to being wrong without collapsing into self-doubt •What it means to stand in your values in uncertain and changing times If you’ve ever spoken up and then questioned yourself afterward, this episode will help you reconnect with your clarity, your discernment, and your inner grounding. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
June 8 · 38 min
#149 - Are You Regulating or Silencing Yourself?
In this episode, we explore a subtle but powerful question: Are you regulating your emotions or silencing your needs? When we’ve done a lot of personal growth, it’s easy to become highly skilled at managing anxiety, staying calm, and not “burdening” others. But in relationships, especially early dating, this can sometimes come at a cost. In This Week's Call We unpack: •How to handle anxiety and uncertainty when defining a relationship •The difference between self-regulation and self-silencing •What to do when a partner’s comments don’t quite land •How to separate internal triggers from relational incompatibility •Why “gathering data” matters more than rushing decisions •How to have honest, vulnerable conversations without losing yourself If you’re prone to overthinking, second-guessing your needs, or trying to stay “easy” in a relationship, this episode will help you reconnect with your voice, your clarity, and your self-trust. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
June 1 · 33 min
#148 - From Triggered to Sovereign: Learning to Stay With Yourself in a Harsh World
Why can one small moment completely derail our emotional state? In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, a caller navigates intense emotional reactions to everyday interactions by exploring how a single tone of voice can trigger deep nervous system activation. Together, we unpack the difference between being “triggered” and experiencing activation, and what it really takes to stay grounded, self-led, and emotionally regulated in a world that isn’t always gentle. This episode offers a reframe for anyone who feels deeply, is doing inner healing work, and still finds themselves overwhelmed by seemingly small moments. In this episode, we explore: •Why small interactions can feel so overwhelming •The difference between triggers and nervous system activation •How to regulate without shutting down or avoiding •The role of self-soothing and internal leadership •When to adapt to your environment and when not to •How sensitivity can become a strength rather than a liability Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
May 25 · 44 min
#147 - The "Hidden Trap" in Being Supportive
There's a difference between sympathy and compassion, and that distinction matters more than we might think. Many of us were taught that caring means feeling with others, taking on their pain, or trying to fix what’s hard. But over time, that way of relating can leave us overwhelmed, entangled, or quietly exhausted. In this conversation with Wendy, we begin with a simple question about sympathy and compassion, and uncover something much deeper. We explore the parts of us that long to be held in our pain, the ways we learned to protect ourselves, and how those patterns show up in our relationships today. Together, we look at how to stay present with suffering, our own and others’, without collapsing, rescuing, or shutting down. Listen to learn: •The key difference between sympathy and compassion (and why it matters) •How to care deeply without taking on what isn’t yours •Practical ways to stay grounded and relational in moments of emotional intensity Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
May 18 · 31 min
#146 - How to Stay Kind Without Draining Yourself
Figuring out how to stay kind, present, and connected, without over-extending ourselves or taking responsibility for other people’s emotional worlds can be a tall order. In this week's episode, we unpack what it looks like to respond to negativity, emotional overwhelm, and difficult dynamics in ways that are both compassionate and self-honoring. Conversations with Daisy and Ellie help us explore the difference between empathy and self-abandonment, how to set boundaries without controlling others, and how to invite more generative, mutual conversations. Listen to learn: •How to respond to draining or negative conversations without shutting people down •The difference between inviting connection and trying to change someone •Practical ways to honor your capacity while staying kind and relational Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
May 11 · 39 min
#145 - Trying to Be A Better Parent...But Still Sounding Critical?
In this episode, I speak with a mother who wants to be a more loving, present, and supportive parent… but keeps noticing that what she intends as help is often experienced by her family as criticism. Together, we explore what happens when awareness arrives after the moment, and you can finally see the impact of how you’ve been showing up, but don’t yet know how to consistently do it differently. We talk about the heartbreak of hearing your child say, All I remember is you yelling. The tension between who you were and who you’re trying to become. And the messy, human process of repairing relationships while you’re still learning. This conversation moves beyond just be more empathic and into the deeper work of: •How to stay open when your past is still being brought into the present •Why “helping” often sounds like criticism to our kids •How to shift from controlling and correcting to connecting and coaching If you’ve ever thought, I’m trying so hard to do better; why does it still come out this way?, this episode is for you. Listen to learn: •Why awareness often comes after the moment, and why that’s not failure •How to repair with your child without collapsing into shame •The difference between guiding your child and trying to shape them If you’re wanting more support in shifting from correction and control to connection and attunement, I go much deeper into this work inside my Parenting Masterclass available in the School of Human Connection. Inside, we explore: •how to work with your own reactivity and judgment •how to build connection without losing structure or boundaries •and how to support your child’s development without trying to shape or fix who they are You don’t have to figure this out alone. Read more on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
May 4 · 33 min
#144 - Why We Become Guarded, and How We Might Soften
How do you respond when someone you love says they feel guarded around you? Carol’s question about how to start a difficult conversation quickly reveals something deeper: a long history of sibling dynamics, childhood wounds, and the painful feeling of being the less-loved child. Together, we unpack what guardedness really is, why it forms, and how resentment, longing, and the need to feel loved can all live just beneath the surface. This conversation is an invitation to move beyond trying to change others—and instead begin the deeper work of understanding ourselves, softening our defenses, and creating the conditions where something new might emerge. Listen to learn: • Why guardedness in relationships is often mutual—even when it doesn’t seem that way • How resentment can keep others “on the hook” and quietly block connection • Why healing relational wounds requires more than insight—it requires new relational experiences Read more about softening on the blog. This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
April 27 · 47 min
#143 - Healing in a Fix-It Culture
In this episode, I speak with two callers whose stories reveal a powerful tension many of us live inside: trying to heal in a culture that wants to fix us. Kate struggles with crying that shows up quickly in conversations and professional settings. Her inner critic tells her this means something is wrong with her. Together we explore a different possibility: that tears may be the nervous system’s way of releasing pain and restoring balance. Shelly’s story reveals another layer of the same dynamic. After years of trauma and nervous system dysregulation, she longs for empathy and understanding from her husband, but instead encounters pressure, misunderstanding, and cultural shame around emotional struggle. We explore what it means to pursue healing when the people closest to us may not understand the journey. These conversations point to a deeper truth: many of the emotional responses we’ve been taught to suppress are actually the body’s natural attempts to heal. Learning to trust those signals, and to create space for our own healing path, can change everything. Listen to learn: • Why crying and emotional release are often signs of healing, not weakness • How shame around emotions gets reinforced by culture, family, and relationships • How fix-it thinking can unintentionally block emotional healing • What to do when the people around you don’t understand your healing journey Read more on the blog: Healing in a Fix-It Culture This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
April 20 · 33 min
#142 - Why We Get Defensive, and What to Do Instead
Why do we get defensive in conversations with the people we care about? Sometimes defensiveness looks like arguing or pushing back. But it can also show up in quieter ways—freezing when someone makes a request, explaining ourselves over and over, or trying to control the situation so we don’t feel uncomfortable. In this episode, I explore two common relational moments: one where someone freezes when a request is made, and another where a couple gets caught in defensiveness and subtle power struggles around autonomy and values. Defensiveness isn’t something “bad” about us. It’s a form of self-protection. Our nervous system is trying to protect something important—our dignity, our autonomy, our belonging. The question isn’t how to eliminate defensiveness. The question is how we can learn to work with it in ways that create more understanding and connection. Read more on the blog. Listen to Learn • Why defensiveness often shows up as freezing, explaining, or controlling rather than arguing • How to respond skillfully when requests trigger a defensive reaction • A simple shift that helps conversations move from power struggles to understanding This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube
April 13 · 48 min
#141 - Is it Possible to Stay Friends With My Ex?
Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do after a breakup is not to force a friendship too quickly. Because friendship requires emotional neutrality… and if our nervous system still recognizes the other person as home, we have a mismatch. In this episode of Conversations from the Heart, a listener named Dave asks a thoughtful question: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex—and if so, what makes it work? Dave and his former partner went through a conscious uncoupling process and are now attempting to rebuild their relationship as friends. But as they reconnect, they find themselves slipping back into familiar patterns that once strained their romantic partnership. Dave wonders whether there might be blind spots in how he’s showing up—and whether understanding those blind spots could help them move forward with more ease. Ultimately, we arrive at a hard truth: You cannot create a low-intensity friendship with someone whose nervous system still experiences you as an attachment figure. In this episode we explore: •Can exes really stay friends after a breakup? •Why emotional timelines rarely match after relationships end •How attachment wounds can keep relational patterns alive •The difference between observing a situation and participating in it •Why intention and impact can feel so different in communication •The challenge of staying authentic without over-managing another person’s emotions •Boundaries, grief, and emotional “dosage” after a breakup Read more on the blog: Is it Possible to Stay Friends With My Ex? This Fall, join me inside the School of Human Connection for Growing Our Capacity to Relate, an eight-part live series exploring developmental stages, self-compassion, and relational growth. Work with me through live teaching, coaching, and practice from September through December, with replays available. Join month to month and practice new responses to real-life challenges. 👉 Learn more: https://yvetteerasmus.com Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on my free Wednesday live call Follow me on YouTube

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