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Coming Up for Air

Loula

Your post-breakup survival guide in podcast form. I healed from my breakup, now I want to help you heal yours
This podcast is your go-to guide for rebuilding your confidence following a breakup, and stepping into your best self. No sugar-coating—just real talk, mindset shifts, and the tough love you need to heal, grow, and thrive.
Because moving on isn’t just about forgetting them—it’s about remembering you.🩷

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32 episodes
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Avg 55 min
English

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Episodes 32

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Friday · 44 min
I Want to Meet Someone. I Just Don't Want to Date.
Do you ever feel like you'd quite like to meet someone, but the thought of actually dating makes you want to stay single indefinitely? You want the relationship, but you don't particularly want the awkward first dates, the endless conversations, the uncertainty or the effort of getting to know somebody who might not go anywhere. In this episode, I am getting into why dating can feel so unappealing when you genuinely want to meet someone. Have you become too quick to dismiss people? Are you expecting an instant connection with somebody you've known for two hours? And are you really leaving things to fate, or have you made it practically impossible for anyone to come into your life? I will also talk about the uncomfortable difference between being open to a relationship and actually being willing to meet people, why dating can start to feel like a second job, and how to approach it differently without forcing yourself onto the apps or settling for someone you don't particularly like. Because maybe the question isn't whether you want a relationship. Maybe it's whether you're willing to go through the process of finding one. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show
October 30 · 48 min
I Was More Obsessed With Understanding My Breakup Than Actually Recovering From It.
I spent so much time trying to understand why my relationship ended that I barely stopped to think about what it was doing to me. In this episode, I am talking about the obsession with finding answers after a breakup. Replaying conversations, questioning memories, analysing your ex's behaviour and convincing yourself that if you could just understand why they left, you'd finally be able to move on. But what happens when every answer leads to another question? And what if understanding your breakup isn't actually the thing that's going to help you recover? An honest conversation about heartbreak, self-blame, closure and learning to live with questions you might never get answers to. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show
October 23 · 1 hr
The Embarrassing Things I Did After My Breakup (Please Tell Me I'm Not Alone)
There are things I did during my breakup that I would be absolutely mortified to admit now. So naturally, I've decided to discuss them on a podcast. After my 14-year relationship ended, I entered an era of questionable decisions, complete delusion and behaviour that I genuinely thought was perfectly reasonable at the time. In this episode, I'm confessing some of my most embarrassing breakup moments, from the things I convinced myself of to the things my poor friends had to endure, alongside five truly unhinged breakup confessions from other people. A slightly different episode of Coming Up For Air, because sometimes healing means being able to look back and think... darling, what on EARTH were you doing? ❤️ Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show
October 16 · 1 hr 4 min
When Other People Make Your Breakup Even Harder.
Sometimes the hardest part of a breakup isn't just what happened between the two of you. It's dealing with everybody else's version of what happened afterwards. The unwanted updates about your ex. Friends telling you what you should do. People comparing how you're both getting on. The gossip, the opinions and that horrible feeling that because you were the one who openly struggled, everybody assumes you're the one who's doing worse. I know this feeling particularly well. I was incredibly open about how much the end of my fourteen-year relationship broke me, and in this episode, I want to talk about something I've learnt since: being honest about your heartbreak doesn't mean you owe everybody an explanation of how you're recovering from it. I talk about how to handle hearing things about your ex without reacting, why other people's advice isn't always right for you, how to stop participating in comparisons you never agreed to, and why you don't need to prove you're happy just because people witnessed you being devastated. A conversation about protecting your own experience of a breakup from becoming everybody else's business. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show
October 9 · 56 min
The Decisions You Made for a Relationship That You're Still Paying For.
Sometimes the relationship ends, but the consequences of being in it don't. The job opportunities you turned down, the money you invested, the places you never moved to and the decisions you made because you thought you were building a future with somebody. In this episode, I'm talking about the less discussed consequences of a breakup. The practical, financial and personal sacrifices that can continue affecting your life long after you've stopped wanting the relationship back. We'll explore how to deal with the regret of decisions that made sense at the time, the frustration of having to rebuild things you thought you'd already established and how to stop making choices around a life that no longer exists. Because you can be completely over somebody and still be paying for the decisions you made when you loved them. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-gui Support the show
October 2 · 59 min
At Some Point, Researching Your Ex Becomes Another Form of Contact.
You haven’t texted them. You haven’t called them. You might even be months into no contact. But you still know where they went last weekend, who they followed, whether they’re seeing someone new and what their friends are posting. So… are you actually disconnected from them? In this episode, we’re talking about why we research our exes after a breakup, what we’re really hoping to find when we check, and why the hardest part of moving on might not be stopping yourself from looking, it might be learning to live with not knowing. Because eventually, healing means allowing their life to happen somewhere you can’t see it. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair No Contact Guide - https://v2.stan.store/Loula/p/30-day-no-contact-guide Support the show
September 25 · 48 min
Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex? The Fear of Never Fully Moving On
What if you never fully get over your ex? Maybe it's been months or years since the breakup. You're doing better, you've rebuilt parts of your life, but you still think about them, still miss them sometimes and wonder whether you'll ever completely move on. In this episode, I'm talking about why we can carry an ex with us long after a relationship ends, the fear of never loving someone the same way again and whether getting over someone really has to mean forgetting them. Because maybe moving on after heartbreak isn't making someone who once meant everything mean nothing. Maybe it's being able to remember them without needing to go backwards. 🤍 Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair Support the show
September 18 · 50 min
The Second Heartbreak: When You Realise They Might Never Come Back.
Will my ex come back? It’s one of the hardest questions to stop asking after a breakup especially when you were the one who was left. But there’s another stage of heartbreak nobody really prepares you for: the moment you realise they might actually never come back. In this episode I talk about why losing hope can feel like a second breakup, why you can still want your ex to come back even when you know the relationship wasn’t right, and what happens when 'they haven’t come back yet' slowly becomes 'maybe this really is over.' We’ll get into waiting for an ex to change their mind, struggling to let go, dealing with rejection, wondering whether they regret leaving, and how to move forward without forcing yourself to believe you’ll never hear from them again. Because healing after a breakup isn’t about knowing for certain that your ex will never come back. It’s reaching the point where your life no longer depends on finding out whether they will. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair Support the show
September 11 · 47 min
Why Am I Still Mentally Talking to My Ex?
You've stopped speaking to them, so why are you still having entire conversations with them in your head? In this episode, I talk about why we mentally talk to an ex after a breakup, replay conversations, imagine telling them things and wonder what they'd think of the life we're building without them. We get into wanting recognition rather than reconciliation, missing being witnessed by someone who knew your whole life, and what these imaginary conversations might actually be doing for you. If you're struggling to stop thinking about your ex and wondering whether you'll ever fully move on, this one's for you. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@loula.comingupforair Support the show
September 4 · 51 min
Your Relationship Is Secured. Now How Would You Live?
If you’re single and scared you’ll never find love, I want you to imagine something: your future relationship is already secured. You don’t know who they are. You don’t know when you’ll meet. You just know you cannot miss them. How would you live differently if you weren’t constantly wondering when love was going to happen? In this episode, I am talking about being single in your 30s, dating anxiety, the fear of being alone, finding love later in life and the experiences we sometimes postpone until we have a partner. Then I’m changing the hypothetical completely: what if I told you that you wouldn’t meet them for another five years? Because this isn’t really an episode about how to find a relationship. It’s about what you might do with your life if you stopped requiring certainty about your romantic future before allowing yourself to fully live your present. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
August 28 · 49 min
Maybe Your Single Life Doesn’t Need to Look Impressive.
If you’re single and quietly wondering whether you’re doing this stage of life 'right,' this episode is for you. There’s so much pressure to make single life look incredible the travelling, the career, the solo dates, the full social calendar, the constant proof that you’re thriving. But maybe your life doesn’t need to impress anyone. Maybe it just needs to feel like yours. In this episode, we talk about feeling behind while other people get married and have children, the fear of being single forever, loneliness, changing friendships, creating your own milestones and the ways we accidentally put life on hold while waiting to meet someone. This isn’t about convincing yourself that you don’t want love. You’re allowed to want a relationship and still build a life that feels meaningful now. Because your single years aren’t the waiting room for your real life. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
August 21 · 57 min
Single & Feeling Behind? What If I Never Meet Someone?
Being single in your 30s can feel completely fine… until suddenly it doesn't. Your friends are married, having children and building lives with their partners. You're not on dating apps, you don't have many single friends and you find yourself wondering: where am I actually supposed to meet someone? And underneath that is the question that's much harder to admit: what if I never do? In this episode, I'm talking about the pressure of the timeline we thought our lives would follow, the fear of running out of time, comparison, being surrounded by couples and how easily 'I don't know when I'll meet someone' can become 'maybe I never will.' This isn't an episode telling you to get a hobby, download a dating app or learn to love being single so much that you stop wanting a relationship. You are allowed to want love. You are allowed to find this chapter difficult sometimes. This is about learning how to live fully in the uncertainty without treating your life right now as evidence of what your future will look like. If you feel like everyone else is moving forward while you're still waiting for your life to begin, this episode is for you. 🤍 Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
August 7 · 44 min
You're Not Struggling Because You're Single. Here's What's Really Happening.
Why does being single feel so much harder than it should? If you've ever found yourself wondering why everyone else seems to be moving on, why you're still waiting for your life to begin, or why being single feels like a personal failure, this episode is for you. In this conversation, I am not talking about learning to 'love being single' or pretending you don't want a relationship. I am talking about the hidden beliefs that make being single so painful in the first place. Together, we'll explore why being single can feel like rejection, why you might be grieving more than just your relationship, how comparison convinces you you're falling behind, and why your relationship status has quietly become tied to your self-worth. This episode is for anyone navigating heartbreak, healing after a breakup, rebuilding their confidence, or trying to stop seeing being single as something they need to escape. If you've ever asked yourself: 💛 Why am I still single? 💛 Why does everyone else seem to be moving on? 💛 How do I stop feeling left behind? 💛 Will I ever meet someone? I hope this episode reminds you that you're not broken, you're not behind, and your life doesn't have to wait for someone else to begin. If this episode resonates with you, I'd love it if you followed the podcast and shared it with someone who needs to hear this today. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
July 31 · 48 min
If You Could See Your Future After Your Breakup, Would You Live Today Differently?
There comes a moment after a breakup where you stop worrying about what happened. and start worrying about what it means for your future. What if you'll never love again? What if you've missed your chance? What if your best years are already behind you? In this episode I want to explore one question that completely changed the way I think about healing: If you could see your future would you live today differently? Because the truth is, we spend so much of our lives making decisions based on predictions rather than possibilities. We convince ourselves we know how our story ends simply because we can't see what's coming next. Together, we'll explore why heartbreak makes us believe our future has already been written, why your brain is so quick to predict the worst, and why every older version of you underestimated the life you're living today. If you're rebuilding after being left, struggling to trust life again, or feeling like you're stuck in the uncertainty of what comes next, I hope this episode reminds you that your future is still being written. The version of your life you're imagining today isn't the only one that exists. Your future has never asked you to predict it. It's only ever asked you to keep walking. If you'd like to go even deeper, I've created a bonus Patreon episode where I walk you through practical exercises to help you stop living according to the future you fear and start making decisions from possibility instead. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
July 24 · 47 min
Why You Still Can't Move Forward From Your Breakup (If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes)
Why can't I move forward from my breakup? If you've been asking yourself this question, you're not alone. In this episode I explore why so many of us become convinced we'll never move on after heartbreak. I talk about how your brain collects evidence that you're 'stuck,' why the story you tell yourself matters, and how changing small daily habits can completely change your healing. This episode will help you understand why if nothing changes, nothing changes and why that's actually the most hopeful thing you'll hear today. Whether you're struggling with no contact, anxious attachment, missing your ex months or years later, or wondering how to move on after being left, this episode will help you start changing the narrative. Healing isn't about one big breakthrough it's about the small decisions that slowly become a completely different life. If you're rebuilding after heartbreak, you're in the right place. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
July 17 · 54 min
The Rebuild: How to Rebuild Your Life After Being Left. Heartbreak, Healing & Moving Forward.
If you've been left after a long-term relationship and you're wondering how to rebuild your life, this episode is for you. Today, I'm talking about The Rebuild the chapter that comes after heartbreak. Not just healing or moving on, but creating a life that's bigger, braver and more fulfilling than the one you thought you'd lost. I share the psychology behind why life can feel like it's standing still after a breakup, why your brain struggles to imagine a future without your ex, and how to stop surviving and start truly living again. If you're navigating heartbreak, no contact, rebuilding your confidence, or learning how to embrace being single after being left, I hope this episode reminds you that your future isn't gone it's waiting to be built. I also share a little about The Rebuild, my upcoming coaching programme designed to help you rebuild your confidence, identity and life after heartbreak. If this episode resonates with you, I'd love it if you followed the podcast, left a rating, or shared it with someone who needs the reminder that this chapter isn't the end of their story it's where they begin again. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
July 10 · 49 min
The Hidden Reason You Still Feel Rejected After Your Breakup
Have you ever wondered why being left hurts for years, even after you've done so much healing? In this episode, I'm talking about the hidden rejection that follows a breakup. The part nobody prepares you for. The part where someone else's decision slowly becomes the way you see yourself. If you've ever thought, 'Why wasn't I enough?' or 'Why does rejection still affect me years later?' this episode is for you. I'm sharing my own journey after my fiancé of 14 years left, why heartbreak can completely change your identity, and how I slowly stopped letting someone else's choice define my self-worth. We'll explore why rejection feels so personal, why it follows us into new relationships and dating, and how to rebuild your confidence without needing someone else to choose you. If you're healing after a breakup, struggling with rejection, or trying to rebuild your life after being left, I hope this episode helps you see yourself with a little more compassion and a lot more hope. In this episode: • Why rejection after a breakup feels so painful • The stories heartbreak makes us believe • Why rejection can stay with you for years • How to stop letting someone else's decision define your worth • The mindset shifts that helped me rebuild after being left Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
June 26 · 1 hr 4 min
How to Enjoy Being Single After a Breakup (Instead of Just Surviving It)
How do you actually enjoy being single after a breakup instead of just surviving it? In this episode, I'm challenging some of the most common breakup advice and sharing a completely different way of thinking about single life. Instead of treating being single like a waiting room, I explore why it can become one of the most freeing and transformative chapters of your life. I talk about why we keep living as though our ex is still watching, how emotional intensity can make peace feel unfamiliar, why we continue explaining our choices to people who are no longer in our lives, and what it really means to build a life that belongs entirely to you. If you're healing from heartbreak, learning to be alone again, or wondering how to enjoy your own company without relying on the usual clichés, this episode is for you. Because the goal isn't just to move on from your breakup. It's to become the author of a life that no longer needs anyone else's permission to feel complete. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
June 19 · 1 hr 1 min
The Thoughts Nobody Talks About After Becoming Single When You’re 30.
This isn't a self-help episode. It's a validation chat. If you've found yourself single in your late 20s or 30s after a breakup, engagement ending, divorce, or long-term relationship, this conversation is for you. I am talking about the things people don't say out loud: feeling left behind while everyone else seems to be moving forward, grieving a future you had already planned, rebuilding a life you never wanted, and comparing your reality to an ex who appears to have moved on. No generic advice. No "just focus on yourself." Just an honest conversation about the thoughts, fears and frustrations that come with starting over when you thought this chapter of your life was already written. Topics include: Being single at 30 Breakup grief Losing the future you planned Feeling left behind Starting over after a long-term relationship Watching your ex move on Relationship loss and identity changes If you've ever thought, 'I was supposed to have that life by now,' you're not alone. Want More Like This - https://stan.store/Loula My New Instagram - @move.with.lou Join Us on Patreon - ⁠patreon.com/ComingUpForAir⁠ Youtube - https://youtu.be/uf90Uc_owUw Support the show
June 12 · 59 min
Will My Ex Ever Reach Out Again? The Truth About Them Not Coming Back.
Will your ex come back? Why hasn't your ex reached out? Does no contact really work? And how do you heal when you've been dumped by someone you still love? In this episode, I explore the psychology behind heartbreak, attachment, and why so many people stay emotionally stuck waiting for an ex to return. You'll learn why silence feels so painful, why some exes never reach out again, what actually predicts reconciliation, and how to stop putting your life on hold while waiting for closure. This episode covers: • Will my ex come back? • Why my ex hasn't reached out • No contact after a breakup • Healing after being dumped • Getting over an ex you still love • Heartbreak recovery and attachment psychology • How to stop waiting for your ex • Moving on without closure • Breakup healing and emotional recovery If you're struggling with a breakup, missing your ex, or wondering whether they'll ever contact you again, this episode offers a deeper understanding of what's really happening and how to start moving forward regardless of what they choose. Because healing begins when your future is no longer dependent on their return. Support the show

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