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Cat Noir Comedy Podcast

Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast.

Follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters, born from sketches but forged in the stories we tell.

There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy.

Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade.

Written, performed, directed, produced and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

All music (C) Kevin Chilvers - Some sound effects from www.zapsplat.com

Geoff the Baker pays us in tiny cakes if we mention him in bios.

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#britishcomedy #storytelling #audiostory #comedyhorror #comedydrama #mystery

#comedyseries #funnystuff #comedy #laughter #funny #characters #sketch #story

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S9 · E5
Monday · 15 min
Last chance to die
On his way to a job interview in Birmingham, Gavin Walters picks up a hitchhiker, unaware he is being followed by a lorry eager to get his attention. Can they escape before they are forced to eat at a two-star motorway service? Geoff the Baker occasionally enjoys a little glass of red. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk #britishcomedy #comedyseries #ukcomedy #storytelling #comedyvideo #funny #catnoir #scary #silly #surreal Buy the Creeping Jazz novel here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ --------------- SCENE FOUR: LORRY CAB We hear a lorry following Gavin. Inside the cab there is terrible music playing on the radio. The DJ talks over the music. DJ (Over the radio): You're listening to Big Lorry FM. Fairly middling music for those behind the wheel of a two-ton truck. Be careful driving those streets today, the summer is hot and unforgiving. I always wear a hat to protect my head. You need to protect your head, as it's where most of us keep our brains, however, not all of us, and talking of the royal family… Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S9 · E4
September 21 · 16 min
The Pie man Saga (Part Three)
As the story becomes increasingly unfocussed due to sloppy writing, Kev and Matt finally learn the truth of The Pie Man. Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker said he’ll be back when we stop mocking pies. So, next week. www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S9 · E3
September 14 · 16 min
The Pie man Saga (Part Two)
The Pie Man strikes again, leaving a helpless town to become more pastry than people. Will he succeed in his diabolical schemes, or will everything turn to crust and crumbs? Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast No word from Geoff the Baker yet, but we’ve left messages. www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S9 · E2
September 7 · 15 min
The Pie man Saga (Part One)
Hide your children. Flush your pets. Lock away old people. The Pie Man has come to town. And he won’t be leaving until he knows everyone’s favourite recipe. Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker is co-incidentally out of town. www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S9 · E1
August 31 · 15 min
Everyone needs therapy
Whilst running a session, a therapist is surprised to discover he is actually the patient. However things take a really strange turn when another therapist arrives. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk #britishcomedy #comedyseries #ukcomedy #storytelling #comedyvideo #funny #catnoir #scary #silly #surreal Buy the Creeping Jazz novel here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ Geoff the Baker is trapped inside a bag, inside a box, inside a bag, inside a box, that's inside a bag, that's inside a box, wrapped in a bag, that might be in a box, in a bag, in a box, in a boxed bag of boxes, hidden in a box of bags, bagged up in a box… look, let's just cut to the chase here. Geoff needs help, send it now! Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 28 · 1 min
The Season 9 teaser
Season Nine Coming Soon Season 9 will be released around August 2026 and will including the following 12 episodes: Everyone needs therapy The Pie Man Saga Part 1 The Pie Man Saga Part 2 The Pie Man Saga Part 3 Last chance to die Dual A tale of two idiots Not a Clip show Death Match 3000 And three other mystery stories #mystery Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker always plays the good cop. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E12
May 21 · 19 min
Patrick MacNee's Missing TV
Patrick MacNee presents the first episode of his new podcast, showcasing recent finds of missing TV. Expect duelling children's presenters, chickens and chaffinches, excellent theme tunes and a line from the biggest movie of all time, ever. You will be so pleased that you can only imagine the visuals. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Colour of a lizard theme written by Sid Ward and Kevin Chilvers. This episode is dedicated in memory of Sid Ward. Geoff the Baker once appeared as a background artist on a much loved TV show, moving his wheelie bin from his front garden to the place it gets picked up by the dustmen. He ruined the take. The TV show was then axed and the episode never shown. Many years later a copy was found by a missing episode hunter and burnt in a back garden incinerator. Those ashes were then given to the English Cricket Team as a consolation prize in 2014. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E11
May 14 · 15 min
The Knowing wink of Podcast Zero
Matt has travelled back in time to save the podcast and possibly the world. (Although we might be exaggerating that bit.) All he needs to do is steal a piece of paper from his comedy partner and ensure it is burnt. Now that sounds easy, but this is Matt we are talking about, and the decisions he makes in the past are surely going to affect the future. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker makes dough to create his bread, but yet he is still poor. Hmm… suspicious. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E10
May 7 · 15 min
Public Domain
It's episode 100 but due to an error on the production paperwork, Kev has accidentally listed the Podcast as starting 100 years earlier than it did, pushing the show out of copywrite. Finding that someone is taking advantage of the situation and releasing their own stories using Cat Noir characters, all Matt and Kev need to do now is to travel back in time to sort this mess out. Luckily for them, they know a time traveller. Just not a very good one. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker has made a pie. It's 3.14cm wide. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E9
April 30 · 16 min
Revenge of the Whelks
Are you hungry for more whelk-based action? Then join us for a nature-runs-amok story that critics are already calling: “the third whelk-based tale in a whelk-based trilogy”. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . Geoff the Baker is no longer baking cakes for fish. It was a stupid idea that resulted in some very messy fish tanks. Do NOT feed cake to fish. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E8
April 23 · 15 min
War of the Whelks - Part Two
The whelk selling industry might be booming, but can a single humble whelk seller maintain monopoly against a rising sea of competitive business? Join us back on the promenade to find out. Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker wishes to clarify that although he does not do fishcakes, he will bake cakes for fish if required. Sorry for any confusion. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E7
April 16 · 15 min
War of the Whelks - Part One
How much do you really know about the high-pressure business of whelk selling on a seaside promenade? Whatever your answer might be, things are all about to change… Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker does not do seafood. Not even fishcakes. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E6
April 9 · 16 min
Dates are not the only fruit
Mr Godwin is looking for love. Unfortunately he is looking for it on an app provided by his new next door neighbour who has built a casino in his loft. Can Mr Godwin beats the odds to find love before the council offices open on Wednesday or has he had his chips? Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . Geoff the Baker spins right round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round, round, round. But he hasn't thought this though, and is now dizzy. ______ SPIV: Previously on Cat Noir… Short summary of the last episode over the end version of the CAT NOIR THEME SPIV: Cat Noir presents… Dates are not the only fruit. Written and performed by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. SCENE ONE: Restaurant Mr Godwin is in a restaurant with a variety of females. The scene plays as a montage with Mr Godwin doing a voiceover with no background sounds on those lines. MR GODWIN: (Voiceover) I started to use the app, just as my neighbour had shown me. After months of not getting any matches, I changed my profile picture to that of Brad Pitt. Again, another useful suggestion from next door. Suddenly I was matching with someone new every day. However, I never realised dating could be so hard… MISS DYSON: …so I said to them, "you'll never take me alive coppers!" MR GODWIN: I don't condone gun violence or disrespecting the law. MISS DYSON: Don't worry I didn't kill anyone that time. MR GODWIN: That time? MAMA: Come to me baby. MR GODWIN: I'm not sure this is appropriate in a public place. MAMA: Sit on my lap and lick my face. MR GODWIN: I think I've left the gas on. I better hurry home. MAMA: Oh dear. Once you turn the gas on, there is no way to stop the pressure in the pipes. If you get my drift. MR GODWIN: I'm not sure I do. MAMA: You can't just turn the gas on and then off straight away. You will need to do some cooking. MR GODWIN: Right. Erm… What… What are we cooking? MAMA: Anything. The gas is on full and I am boiling in the pan. MR GODWIN: I don't understand. MAMA: I'm dripping over the side and streaming up the room. MR GODWIN: I really do need to leave. GORMLESS: I'm a maid in a county house and I'm Gormless. MR GODWIN: You're what? GORMLESS: Gormless. That's my name sir. MR GODWIN: Please don't call me that. Try Philip. GORMLESS: Yes Mr Philip sir. MR GODWIN: I'm sure your profile said your name was Trixie. And it's just Philip. No sir. GORMLESS: I don't use my real name on the app Just Philip, no sir. You can never be too careful. There's a lot of weirdos about. MR GODWIN: Indeed. GORMLESS: I do hope this date is taking place before the Bumpkin Manor episodes, or I'm dead. Now there's a funny thought. Have you ever dated anyone who might be dead? MR GODWIN: (Voiceover) I'd had enough. There is only so much one can take. I headed back home to visit my neighbour. SCENE TWO: The casino Mr Godwin is in Spiv's house. He continues his voiceover, but it is clear he has been relaying this information to Spiv. MR GODWIN: After that date, we had another a few days later. I thought everything was going well. Then she never replied to any more of my messages. SPIV: Sounds like she's ghosted you. MR GODWIN: My god. I hope she isn't dead. SPIV: Nah. Ghosting. She's not an actual ghost, she just decided not to continue talking to you. MR GODWIN: Well, why didn't she say that? SPIV: Just the way it works governor. You chat, go on a date then never speak again. MR GODWIN: She could have just said she didn't want to chat anymore. SPIV: It's the way dating is in this day and age. Don't worry, there's plenty more fishfingers in the sea. MR GODWIN: I chatted to one lady for a whole week. Every ten minutes, message after message, then when I suggested we meet up, she said we didn't have a connection. Listen in to get more... Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E5
April 2 · 17 min
Home under the Hammer
Mr Godwin can't get any rest, as his new neighbour is making too much noise, so he turns to his old friend Agony Aunt to find a solution. Will the council help before Mr Godwin is forced to seek the advice of MC Hammer? Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . Geoff the Baker has good neighbours. Just a friendly wave each morning, helps to make a better day. ------------------ SCENE ONE: Mr Godwin's front room We are in the front room of perennially annoyed Mr Godwin. There are muffled but loud construction sounds coming from next door. Mr Godwin is on the phone but we can only hear his side of the conversation. MR GODWIN: (on the phone) So it's been going on for two weeks now… yes, two weeks. (pause) Well, I'd like to know what you are going to do about it. (pause) So there's nothing you can do? Right. (pause and then incredulously) You suggest I call who? (pause) The police or the council! I haven't got time for that. I thought, as you had phoned me to try and scam me out of my life savings, that maybe we could come to some arrangement where I release the equity on my house and you, in turn, deal with my noisy neighbour. (pause) Hello! Hello! Ah… I can't hear you anyway. Construction sounds are now too loud, so he ends the calls. MR GODWIN: Right. Time for my favourite programme. Just pop the TV on. Mr Godwin turns on the TV and we hear CAT NOIR THEME MR GODWIN: Cat Noir presents… The theme and voiceover can barely be heard… there is too much construction work happening. MR GODWIN: I said, Cat Noir Presents… Home under… I best shut these windows. Mr Godwin shuts two windows. The construction sounds are still too loud. MR GODWIN: I still can't hear myself think. I'll shut the doors too. He shuts two doors and the sounds abate. MR GODWIN: That's better. Now, where was I. Oh yes. Cat Noir Presents… Home under the hammer. The sounds increase again with new equipment being used. MR GODWIN: (shouting) Written and performed by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. The sounds have stopped but Mr Godwin hasn't noticed. MR GODWIN: (Still shouting) I think I'll make some tea. SPIV: (OOV - next door) Keep it down mate. Some of us are trying to rest. MR GODWIN: Right. I've had enough of this. Two weeks this has been going on. Two weeks. He opens the lounge door and exits the home through the front door, crossing the shingle drive to his neighbours house. SCENE TWO: Doorstep - next door At his neighbours, Mr Godwin rings the doorbell. The door opens. SPIV: Yes. Oh hello. MR GODWIN: Oh no. Not you. SPIV: What. I've never met you before. MR GODWIN: Yes you have, loads of times. My house got invaded and we fought the intruder off together with the help of a lost boy. SPIV: (Pause) No. I think I'd remember that. MR GODWIN: You ruined my Christmas. Twice. SPIV: Did I? MR GODWIN: Hmm. What are you doing next door? SPIV: I'm your new neighbour. Hello bunk buddy. MR GODWIN: (flustered) Yes, well… what? Bunk Buddies we are not. Neighbours we are. SPIV: (in Yoda voice) Speak like Yoda, you do. MR GODWIN: I do not, no. (throws hands up) Ah. Look what you've turned me into. SPIV: A cheap star wars knock off. MR GODWIN: No. A moaning neighbour. SPIV: Well, stop moaning and go back to your own house then. MR GODWIN: I won't and I have questions. SPIV: Hit me then. I meant metaphorically, don't actually strike my face, I'm very attached to my features. MR GODWIN: Why are you making so much noise? SPIV: Easy question. I'm having something put into my loft. MR GODWIN: What? SPIV: A casino. MR GODWIN: A casino? Listen in to hear more Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E4
March 27 · 19 min
Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 4)
Filthy, frazzled, foul-smelling, and largely friendless in a world too big to make sense, Stargazers Bundy and Ted are faced with some difficult choices in their quest to return to normal size. Part 4 of a 4 part story. Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast There has been a recall on Geoff the Baker’s new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pies. If you have one, please do not eat it. There will be no further announcements regarding this product. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E3
March 20 · 18 min
Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 3)
With the butterflies disgruntled and woodlice chomping on the floorboards, Stargazers Bundy and Ted hope for more promising answers from the return of Tim the ladybird. Meanwhile, elsewhere, the greenfly don’t seem too happy. Part 3 of a 4 part story. Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Following multiple announcements, Geoff the Baker’s new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pie has attracted a lot of attention from the media and hospitals. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E2
March 13 · 16 min
Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 2)
With a whole new perspective of the observatory floor, stargazers Bundy and Ted meet some of the wildlife and learn what they really think about humans. Part 2 of a 4 part story. Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker proudly announces that his new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pie is now available. Come to think of it, the first announcement last week probably wasn’t required. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S8 · E1
March 6 · 21 min
Bundy, I shrunk the Ted (Part 1)
Stargazers Bundy and Ted are in for a fun surprise at the hands of a strange new mystery parcel, which comes complete with incredibly vague instructions. Part 1 of a 4 part story. Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker proudly announces an upcoming announcement about a new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pie. Stay tuned for further announcements. Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
February 27 · 1 min
2026 Trailer - Season 8
Welcome to Cat Noir Comedy Podcast Season 8. The weekly season. Join us every 7 days for 12 weeks of fun. Bundy I shrunk the Ted 1 Bundy I shrunk the Ted 2 Bundy I shrunk the Ted 3 Bundy I shrunk the Ted 4 Home under the hammer Dates are not the only fruit War of the Whelks (Part One) War of the Whelks (Part Two) Revenge of the Whelks Public Domain The Knowing Wink of Podcast Zero Patrick MacNee's Missing TV ---------------------- Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters, born from sketches but forged in the stories we tell. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . Don't mind Geoff the Baker he's just socially awkward. --------- www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S7 · E13
Nov 16, 2025 · 3 min
Announcement
Announcement: Cat Noir will be releasing 12 episodes weekly from Feb 2026 and then again later in the year. Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast Geoff the Baker is up to something. See you for Season 8 in 2026. K: Right then. Please tell me you’ve got a complete script ready, Matt, cos I’ve been flat out busy lately and, although I’m writing several at once, I’ve not got a full episode done for tonight. M: Oh-oh. K: So, I’m hoping you’ve got one ready for us to record. M [sheepish]: Aaaahhh… K: That sound does not fill me with confidence. M [sheepish]: Errrrmmmm… K: Neither does that one… Have you got a script ready? M [confidently]: Of course I have, Kev! This one’s called… The… Curse… of the Missing… Kit Kat… K [not convinced]: Uh-huh… And… could this have anything to do with the Kit Kat that’s currently sat next to your microphone? M: Yikes. Wait… Hang on… M: [chomping and swallowing noises] …What Kit Kat, Kev? K: And that’s it, is it? That’s your script? M: Yeah, Sorry… I’ve been flat out busy too though, what with all the what what and the what. K: I know what you mean. It’s the same for me to be to be fair, to be sure, at the end of the day, do me a favour. M: Precisely. K: What are we going to do then? M: Relax, Kev. I’ve got this covered. K; And how exactly will you do that? M: I’ve brought a friend with me. K: You mean the tall lean silent gentleman sitting beside you? M: I do! K: I see. And who is this? M: This, Kev, is Humphrey. He’s a Hollywood trained improvisation script writer and multi-talented voiceover artist. K [excited]: Wait… really? M: Yep. I thought he could create a new story right now, and you and I can join in along the way with other voices. K [happy]: Matt, that’s brilliant! I’d love to improvise an episode! Nice to meet you, Humphrey. Welcome to Cat Noir. Let me get you a microphone… K: The stage is yours, Humphrey. Why don’t you guide us into a brand new story… [a few seconds of silence] K [prompting]: …Humphrey… [a few seconds of silence] M: Oh yeah. I forgot to say… he’s non-verbal. K: He’s what? M: Non-verbal, Kev. It means he doesn’t speak. K: I know what non-verbal means! That’s not the part I’m struggling with… I thought you said he was a voiceover artist? M [realising]: Oh yeah… Doesn’t make much sense, come to think of it… K [examining Humphrey]: Hang on… There’s something else wrong with this picture too… M [panicky]: Errrr… what do you mean? K: Well, Matt… Upon closer inspection… Humphrey’s not even an actual person… This is an upside down broom with a pair of googly eyes taped to the bristles… M [rumbled]: It is, Kev; yeah. You’re absolutely right… I said I’ve been busy. K: Well, don’t worry. I think I’ve just thought up a plan that might get us through this. M: Have you? What’s that then? K: What about if we took a short break? M: But I’ve already eaten my Kit Kat. K: No, Matt. I mean, instead of our previous formats of once a fortnight and then once a month, what about if we did seasons? M: You mean like the weather? K: I mean more like television, where episodes are played closer together, but with gaps between each season. M: Hmmm… Sounds like a lot of writing still, Kev. What with the what what and all the what what. K: That’s true. The what and the what certainly do take up an awful lot of time, what what. M: It’s how we’re in this pickle to begin with. K: Okay... We could make the episodes slightly shorter. M: What, you mean like a smaller portion size, but a more frequent delivery. K: Exactly. I’m glad you understand. M: I understand it perfectly. In fact, smaller but more frequently is how I’m doing pizza these days. Listen on... Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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