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Carl and Heather Present

Carl and Heather Cartee

Carl and Heather Present: Marriage, Faith and thriving with your total opposite. We are taking on the humor, challenges, highs and lows of staying married to someone who is nothing like you, while holding to the hope that marriage is worth it all.

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Tuesday · 41 min
Episode 100 feat. Dr. Gary Chapman
Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the best-selling book "The Five Love Languages," sits down with us to share what he has learned from a lifetime of working with couples and helping people express and experience love. If you're stuck and you need something to help you better touch the heart of your spouse, this is the episode for you. If this episode encouraged you, don’t just move on—join us. Subscribe and turn on notifications 🔔 so you don’t miss conversations that are helping couples fight for what matters most—their marriage, their family, and their walk with God. If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment 💬 and tap like 👍—it helps more couples find this message. Need prayer? We’d truly be honored to stand with you. 📧 hi@carlandheather.com And if you’re looking to invest in the health of marriages at your church or event, we’d love to serve you. ⛪💍 Submit a request at carlandheather.com/booking Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
September 8 · 31 min
Episode 99: Doubting Your Faith?
Can you have genuine faith and still experience genuine doubt? When Christian leaders fail, prayers seem unanswered, life doesn’t make sense, or something you’ve always believed suddenly feels uncertain, questions can begin creeping in: Is God really who I thought He was? Can I actually trust Him? What if I’m wrong about all of this? In this episode, Carl and Heather have an honest conversation about doubting your faith—and why doubt itself isn’t necessarily the problem. Thomas doubted after showing extraordinary courage and devotion to Jesus. John the Baptist found himself sitting in prison asking whether Jesus really was the Messiah. And in both cases, their questions were brought toward Jesus, not away from Him. So when is doubt healthy, and when does it become dangerous? We’ll explore how to recognize where your doubts are coming from, the difference between wrestling with God and becoming double-minded, and five practical things you can do when your faith feels uncertain. You don’t have to be afraid of your questions. Don’t waste your doubt. Let it drive you toward prayer, Scripture, truth, and ultimately back to Jesus. Please let us pray for you and with you. Send Prayer requests: hi@carlandheather.com Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
September 1 · 34 min
Episode 98: Love or Respect?
Love or Respect? Does a woman need love more than respect? Does a man need respect more than love? And what does that actually look like in a real marriage? After our recent conversation with Shaunti Feldhahn, we wanted to circle back to one idea that really resonated with people: many women have a deep need to feel loved and cherished, while many men have a deep need to feel respected, capable, and believed in. This week, it’s just the two of us talking about how that has played out in our own marriage. We unpack the seemingly small things that can make a husband feel disrespected or a wife feel unloved—even when that was never the intention. We talk about criticism, correcting one another, disagreement, emotional distance, and what happens when both spouses start waiting for the other person to go first. Can you respect your husband when you disagree with him? Can you love your wife when she’s distant or frustrated? What if you don’t feel like your spouse deserves what they’re asking for? And how does following Jesus change the way we answer those questions? Ultimately, this isn't just about learning what men want or what women want. It’s about becoming a student of the person you married and learning to communicate love in a way they can actually receive. Because sometimes the thing you’re trying to communicate isn’t the thing your spouse is hearing. Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
August 25 · 41 min
Episode 97: For Women Only
For Women Only with Dr. Shaunti Feldhahn Do you ever wish you could get inside your husband’s head and understand what he’s really thinking? This week, we’re joined by bestselling author and social researcher Dr. Shaunti Feldhahn for a fascinating conversation about her book, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men. Shaunti’s research has helped millions of women better understand the men they love—including one finding that can be especially surprising: many men would rather feel respected than loved. But what does that actually mean in a marriage? We talk with Shaunti about the inner life of men—the pressures and insecurities husbands may not know how to put into words, why respect carries so much weight, and some of the things your husband may desperately want you to understand about him. Because sometimes loving your spouse well begins with understanding them better. If you’ve ever thought, “I love this man, but sometimes I just do not understand him,” this episode is for you. Our hope is that this conversation helps you see your husband with fresh eyes and gives you practical ways to build greater connection, affection, and trust in your marriage. If this episode encouraged you, don’t just move on—join us. Follow the podcast so you don’t miss conversations that are helping couples fight for what matters most—their marriage, their family, and their walk with God. And if this episode helped you, consider sharing it with a friend or another couple who might need it too. Need prayer? We’d truly be honored to stand with you. 📧 hi@carlandheather.com And if you’re looking to invest in the health of marriages at your church or event, we’d love to serve you. ⛪💍 Submit a request at carlandheather.com/booking Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
August 18 · 29 min
Episode 96: The Marriage You Thought You'd Have
What happens when the marriage you have isn’t the marriage you thought you were getting? Most of us entered marriage carrying expectations—about communication, sex, money, parenting, faith, family, and even who we thought our spouse would become. But eventually, there’s a moment when we realize: this isn’t exactly what I ordered. So what do you do with the disappointment? In this episode, Carl and Heather talk about the difference between things in marriage that genuinely need to change and things we may need to learn to accept—and even love. Through Scripture, humor, and a burger with way too many onions, they explore biblical contentment, gratitude, patience, unmet expectations, and the possibility that God may be doing something good in a marriage that looks different from the one you imagined. Maybe the goal isn’t to finally get the marriage you thought you’d have. Maybe it’s to discover what God wants to do with the marriage you actually have. Plus, Carl and Heather share more about their new book, Together on Purpose, coming November 1. Have a prayer request? Email hi@carlandheather.com Carl and Heather set aside time every Monday to pray for listeners. Send your request or learn about having them speak or lead worship at your church or event at CarlAndHeather.com. Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
August 11 · 29 min
Replay Episode: Get Off The Crazy Train
Replay Episode: Creating Margin (Our Very First Episode) As we approach our 100th episode, we're revisiting the conversation that started it all. Many of you have discovered the podcast over the past couple of years, so we wanted to re-release Episode 1 because its message feels more timely now than ever. Life has a way of filling every open space. Between work, kids, sports, church, and endless opportunities, it's easy to find ourselves running at a pace that leaves little room for what matters most. In this conversation, we talk honestly about our own struggle with overcommitment, the cost of hurry, and why creating intentional margin is essential for a healthy marriage and a healthy soul. You'll hear practical ideas for slowing down, protecting your priorities, and making space to connect with God and each other. Because we've learned this is still true: Margin is the space where connection grows. Whether this is your first time hearing Episode 1 or you're listening again, we hope it encourages you to step off the crazy train and make room for the relationships that matter most. Together is better. Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
August 4 · 33 min
Back To School: Becoming A Better Student of Your Spouse
Back to School: Become a Student of Your Spouse Every August, students head back to the classroom—but what if this season became an opportunity to go back to school in your marriage? In this episode, Carl and Heather challenge couples to become lifelong students of one another. Instead of assuming you've already figured your spouse out, learn how curiosity, intentional questions, and healthy rhythms can deepen intimacy and strengthen your relationship. Together, they discuss why people continue to change throughout marriage, what Scripture teaches about drawing out the heart of another person, and practical habits that help couples stay connected through every season of life. No matter how long you've been married, you'll discover fresh ways to pursue, understand, and love your spouse with greater intentionality. Scripture: Proverbs 20:5 Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
July 28 · 23 min
Episode 93: "Together In Battle" Ephesians 5:22-6:24 (Week 5)
What if the greatest purpose of your marriage is to tell the story of the Gospel? In the final episode of our study through Ephesians, Carl and Heather explore one of the most discussed passages in Scripture and discover that Paul's ultimate focus isn't marriage itself—it's Christ and His Church. Together you'll unpack what sacrificial love, mutual honor, and covenant commitment look like in everyday marriage. You'll also discover why the armor of God immediately follows Paul's teaching on marriage and why remembering your spouse is not your enemy can transform the way you handle conflict. As we wrap up this five-week journey through Ephesians, we're reminded that the goal isn't simply to know God's Word—it's to become people who live it together. This week's passages: Ephesians 5:22–6:24 Download the free companion Couples Study Guide at carlandheather.com and continue the conversation with your spouse. Prayer requests: hi@carlandheather.com Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
July 21 · 22 min
Episode 92: "Together In Love" Ephesians 4:17–5:21 (Week 4)
Why is following Jesus still such a struggle sometimes? If you've ever wondered why old habits, old arguments, or old ways of thinking continue to surface—even after placing your faith in Christ—you're not alone. In Episode 4 of our study through Ephesians, Carl and Heather explore Paul's invitation to put off the old self, walk in love, and live wisely through the power of the Holy Spirit. You'll discover why lasting transformation begins with identity, how small daily choices shape healthy marriages, and why the Christian life isn't powered by willpower but by God's Spirit working within us. Join us as we continue our five-week journey through the Book of Ephesians. This week's passages: Ephesians 4:17–5:21 Download the free companion Couples Study Guide at carlandheather.com and follow along each week. Prayer requests: hi@carlandheather.com Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
July 14 · 23 min
Episode 91: "Together In Calling" Ephesians 3:1-21 & 4:1-16 (Week 3)
Does God have a purpose for your life... or just for pastors and missionaries? In Episode 3 of our study through Ephesians, Carl and Heather explore one of the most encouraging truths in Scripture: every follower of Jesus has received a calling. As Paul prays for believers to be rooted and grounded in God's love, he reminds us that the Christian life isn't about earning God's approval—it's about living from it. Together you'll discover why your career isn't your calling, how the Church reveals God's plan to the world, and what it looks like to faithfully live out your purpose in everyday life and marriage. Join us as we continue our five-week journey through the Book of Ephesians. This week's passages: Ephesians 3:1–21; 4:1–16 Download the free companion Couples Study Guide at carlandheather.com and follow along each week. Prayer requests: hi@carlandheather.com Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
July 7 · 25 min
Episode 90: "Together In Grace" Ephesians 2:1-22 (Week 2)
Do you ever feel like you're never quite enough? Enough for God. Enough for your spouse. Enough as a parent. Enough in your faith. Ephesians 2 answers that question with one of the clearest pictures of the Gospel in all of Scripture. In this episode, Carl and Heather explore what it means to be saved by grace—not by performance—and why understanding that truth changes everything about how we love God and one another. Together you'll discover why grace isn't just the starting point of the Christian life—it's the foundation of every healthy marriage. Join us as we continue our five-week journey through the Book of Ephesians. This week's passage: Ephesians 2:1–22 Download the free companion Couples Study Guide at carlandheather.com and follow along each week. Prayer requests: hi@carlandheather.com Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
June 30 · 25 min
Episode 89: "Together In Christ" Ephesians 1:1-23 (Week 1)
Who are you... really? Most of us build our identity around things that can disappear—our career, relationships, accomplishments, ministry, or even our role in the family. But what if your truest identity was something no circumstance could ever take away? In the first episode of our five-part study through Ephesians, Carl and Heather explore one of the richest chapters in the New Testament and discover what it means to be chosen, adopted, redeemed, and sealed by God. You'll learn why Paul begins with identity before instruction—and why understanding who you are in Christ has the power to transform your marriage, your faith, and the way you live every day. Download the free companion Couples Study Guide at carlandheather.com, and join us each week as we journey through the Book of Ephesians together. This week's passage: Ephesians 1:1–23 Prayer requests: hi@carlandheather.com Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
June 23 · 31 min
Episode 88: Rebuilding Broken Trust
Can trust be rebuilt after it's been broken? Trust is one of the most valuable—and fragile—parts of any marriage. It can take years to build and only moments to damage. In this episode, Carl and Heather explore what happens when trust is broken, why forgiveness matters, and how couples can rebuild trust one small step at a time. Through personal stories, biblical wisdom, and practical encouragement, they discuss how trust grows through everyday faithfulness, honesty, humility, and accountability. Whether your marriage is thriving or you're working through a difficult season, this conversation offers hope that trust can be strengthened and restored. Scripture: Colossians 3:12-14 Question for Reflection: What is one thing you could do this week that would help your spouse trust you more? Subscribe and join us next week as we begin a brand-new series through the book of Ephesians. Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
June 16 · 31 min
Episode 87: Pride Month, Marriage, and the Gospel
It's Pride Month, and for many Christian couples that raises difficult but important questions. How should followers of Jesus think about marriage, sexuality, sin, truth, and love in a rapidly changing culture? Is it possible to love people well without affirming every belief or behavior? And why does it matter for a husband and wife to agree on what sin is in the first place? In this episode, Carl and Heather discuss the difference between acceptance and affirmation, the danger of spiritual drift, and why the biblical vision of marriage still matters today. Most importantly, they explore the hope of the gospel—not just for one group of people, but for all of us. Because the central issue isn't ultimately Pride Month. It's whether Jesus will be Lord of our lives. Join us as we talk about biblical conviction, grace, truth, repentance, and the transforming power of Christ. Scriptures referenced include Genesis 2, Matthew 19, Psalm 1, Romans 12, John 1, Proverbs 16, 1 Corinthians 6, and Romans 5. Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
June 9 · 29 min
The Tragic Decision The Whole Internet Had An Opinion About
A young couple made a tragic, public decision — and the whole internet had an opinion. This week, Carl and Heather step into the headlines with honesty and tenderness, asking three questions: What actually happened? What can a crisis like this reveal in a marriage? And what does God say about the value of a human life — no matter what? This is a conversation about holding conviction and compassion in the same hand. Because marriage was never meant to make us comfortable; it was meant to make us holy. So was parenting. So is raising every kind of child. We open up Psalm 139, Jeremiah 1, Genesis 1, and more — and we land where every hard story should: in the grace of a God who redeems what feels unredeemable. If you're carrying a private grief of your own, there's room for you here. New episodes every Tuesday from Carl and Heather Cartee for prayer and to connect hi@carlandheather.com Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
June 2 · 38 min
Episode 85: When Your Faith Feels Flat w/ Jeffery & Shannon Scott
Have you ever felt stuck in your faith? Like you're doing all the right things, but God feels distant and spiritual growth seems nowhere to be found? In this episode, Carl and Heather sit down with Jeffrey and Shannon Scott to talk about the often-overlooked seasons of the Christian life when faith feels flat, progress feels slow, and nothing seems to be happening. Together, they explore how God is often doing His deepest work beneath the surface, even when we can't see it. If you've ever wondered whether you're growing, drifting, or simply walking through a difficult season, this conversation will encourage you to stay faithful and keep trusting God. Be sure to check out Shannon's podcast, The Everything Beautiful Podcast, where she shares honest conversations and biblical encouragement to help women find beauty and purpose in every season. If this episode encouraged you, don’t just move on—join us. Subscribe and turn on notifications 🔔 so you don’t miss conversations that are helping couples fight for what matters most—their marriage, their family, and their walk with God. If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment 💬 and tap like 👍—it helps more couples find this message. Need prayer? We’d truly be honored to stand with you. 📧 hi@carlandheather.com And if you’re looking to invest in the health of marriages at your church or event, we’d love to serve you. ⛪💍 Submit a request at carlandheather.com/booking Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
May 19 · 34 min
Episode 84: Everyday Spiritual Habits
Can small spiritual habits actually change your marriage? This week we’re joined by author and Bible teacher Hanna Seymour and her husband Tyler to talk about Hanna’s new book, Everyday Spiritual Habits. Hanna’s message is simple but powerful: spiritual growth doesn’t happen through perfection or pressure — it happens through small, faithful rhythms practiced over time. In this conversation, we unpack how everyday habits like prayer, gratitude, Scripture, friendship, and practicing the presence of God can reshape not only your faith, but your marriage and family culture too. We also talk honestly about: Feeling spiritually exhausted in busy seasons Why couples drift spiritually The power of consistency over intensity Building connection with God in the middle of ordinary life What it looks like to pursue Jesus together as husband and wife This episode is encouraging, practical, and deeply relatable for couples who want a deeper spiritual connection without adding more pressure to their lives. Find Hanna’s book through Worthy Books or at her official site: Hanna Seymour. We're building a hospital and we need your help: If you want to join us in building a maternity ward in South Sudan, Check out Episode 78 to learn more and help us by giving at transformsouthsudan.org/maternity. 100% goes to build the hospital. If this episode encouraged you, don’t just move on—join us. Subscribe and turn on notifications 🔔 so you don’t miss conversations that are helping couples fight for what matters most—their marriage, their family, and their walk with God. If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment 💬 and tap like 👍—it helps more couples find this message. Need prayer? We’d truly be honored to stand with you. 📧 hi@carlandheather.com And if you’re looking to invest in the health of marriages at your church or event, we’d love to serve you. ⛪💍 Submit a request at carlandheather.com/booking Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
May 12 · 28 min
Episode 83: Engaged? Listen To This Before You Walk Down The Aisle
If you’re engaged—or know someone who is—this might be one of the most important conversations you hear before marriage. Because most marriages don’t fall apart in a moment… they drift slowly through poor communication and unresolved conflict. In this episode, Carl and Heather walk through five essential conversations every couple needs to have before saying “I do.” This isn’t about planning a wedding— it’s about preparing for a lifetime. In this episode, we cover: How to build a shared purpose and direction How to understand and improve your communication How to handle conflict and repair in a healthy way What real intimacy actually looks like How to clarify expectations around money, roles, and family A simple truth: You don’t drift into a strong marriage— you build one on purpose. Important note: This episode is a tool—but it’s not a substitute for biblical premarital counseling. If you’re getting married, don’t skip that step. 🌍 Join us in making an impact We’re partnering with Transform South Sudan to help build a maternity ward at the Ahick Women’s Clinic. We’re raising $85,000, and a generous donor has already matched $42,500. To learn more or give: 👉 transformsouthsudan.org/maternity Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
May 5 · 28 min
Episode 82: Sexless Marriage?
No one plans to end up in a sexless marriage… But a lot of couples quietly drift there. It’s not loud. It’s not explosive. It’s silent—and that’s what makes it so dangerous. In this episode, Carl and Heather talk about the hidden struggle many couples face: two people who love each other… but have lost connection. You’ll hear: The real reasons intimacy fades (and why it’s rarely just about sex) The physical, emotional, and spiritual impact of disconnection Why unresolved conflict and poor communication are often at the root Practical ways to begin rebuilding intimacy—without pressure or shame Because sex isn’t the foundation of marriage… but it is a vital expression of a healthy one. This episode is for couples who: Feel distant but don’t know why Struggle to talk about intimacy Want to reconnect but don’t know where to start 💬 A reminder: A sexless marriage isn’t the end of your story— it’s an invitation to rebuild something deeper. 🙏 Need prayer? Email us anytime: hi@carlandheather.com 🌍 Join us in making an impact We’re raising support to build a maternity ward in South Sudan. 👉 transformsouthsudan.org/maternity Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee
April 28 · 33 min
Episode 81: Two Leaders, One Marriage, Now What?
What happens when both spouses are strong leaders? Chris and Maribeth Dodd join us to talk about the tension, beauty, and challenge of building a Christ-centered marriage when both husband and wife are high-capacity leaders. We cover leadership, submission, differences in pace and personality, and what it really looks like to become one—without losing who God made you to be. Send us Fan Mail Looking to connect with Carl and Heather? Start here... www.carlandheather.com @carlcartee @heather.cartee

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