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Beyond Your Number

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You’re not just a type — you’re a whole story. Beyond Your Number is a conversational Enneagram podcast where Damon & Kelly explore real-life growth through personality. From relationships to team dynamics, we help you go deeper than the label. New episodes every Wednesday. Formerly EnneagramU.

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  • 22 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 31 min
  • English

Episodes 22

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  • S4 · E158
    Wednesday · 29 min

    Enneagram Journaling, Part 2 (Types 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9)

    Enneagram Types 5 through 9 each need a different way to journal. Damon and Kelly break down what actually works for each type. The 5 learns to journal like a researcher, connecting what they notice to how they actually feel. The 6 names fears, separates facts from anxiety, and builds evidence they can trust themselves. The 7 needs journaling to feel like an adventure instead of a chore, with quick prompts instead of a blank page. The 8 just needs permission to write the honest truth, no prompts required. The 9 uses journaling to finally hear their own voice above everyone else's opinion. Kelly shares her own daily journaling practice after almost 20 years, and Damon asks the questions you are probably thinking. Whether you journal every day or have not started yet, this episode gives you a starting point built for your number. This is Part 2 of a two part series. Catch up on Part 1 covering Types 1 through 4 in the previous episode. New episodes of Beyond Your Number drop every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E157
    August 19 · 28 min

    Enneagram Journaling, Part 1 (Types 1, 2, 3, and 4)

    Journaling isn't one-size-fits-all. Damon and Kelly break down how each Enneagram type can journal in a way that actually fits how they process life, not a blank page that feels intimidating. Type 1, the editor, often turns journaling into another place to self-critique. Kelly introduces The Appreciation Journal, built around gratitude and release instead of another list of self-improvement goals. Type 2, the relational journaler, tends to fill the page with everyone else. This episode introduces The Me Journal, a space built entirely around a 2's own feelings, needs, and wants. Type 3, the time traveler, is a natural list maker, even in a journal. Kelly shares why The Experience Journal, like a 5-year journal, helps 3s track feelings instead of accomplishments. Type 4, the poet, needs room to create, not a lined page and a prompt. This episode covers The Creative Journal, and why a 4's page might look more like art than words. Damon also shares a story about his wife's six years of daily journaling about their son, and why she stopped exactly when she did. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E156
    August 13 · 31 min

    The Feelings Enneagram 7s, 8s, and 9s Avoid

    Type 7s avoid pain with positivity. Type 8s avoid vulnerability with anger. Type 9s avoid conflict by disappearing. Damon and Kelly wrap up the Feelings series by covering three types in one episode. Type 7s outrun grief and sadness by staying focused on the positive, but the difficult emotions catch up eventually. Type 8s use anger as a bodyguard for fear, hurt, and betrayal underneath. Type 9s go quiet on their own preferences and avoid conflict to keep the peace, even internally. For each type, they walk through what the avoidance sounds like day to day, questions to ask yourself, and healthy practices to start processing instead of pushing feelings aside. Kelly's line from this episode says it best: feelings are fast, they catch up. This closes out the four part Feelings series. Catch up on Types 1 and 2, 3 and 4, and 5 and 6 if you missed them. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E155
    August 5 · 23 min

    The Feelings Enneagram 5s and 6s Avoid

    Enneagram 5s and 6s share the same core fear, but it shows up in almost opposite ways. Damon and Kelly dig into what each type quietly avoids feeling and why. For 5s, the struggle is vulnerability and the fear of not knowing. Instead of processing emotions, 5s often retreat into their heads, gather more information, or withdraw and isolate. Damon and Kelly talk through what it actually looks like to notice emotion in the body instead of just thinking about it, and why sharing something before you have it all figured out is a growth step for this type. For 6s, the fear is less obvious. It is not trusting safety or calm when it shows up. Healthy 6s can feel unsettled by good news because their brain is scanning for what could go wrong next. Damon and Kelly unpack the difference between evidence based fear and imagined fear, and how celebrating past resilience helps 6s build real trust in themselves. Whether you are a 5, a 6, or you live or work with one, this episode gives practical language and questions to help both types move toward more emotional health. This episode is part of an ongoing series looking at the feelings each Enneagram type tends to avoid. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E154
    July 29 · 29 min

    The Feelings Enneagram 3s and 4s Avoid

    Threes and Fours process feelings in opposite directions: one moves fast to outrun them, the other gets pulled under by them. This episode breaks down both. For Type 3, failure is the feeling that's hardest to sit with, along with sadness, shame, and a quiet sense of emptiness. Kelly explains why "I'm fine" is rarely the whole story for a Three, and Damon and Kelly dig into questions like who am I without accomplishing something and what emotion did I push aside this week. Type 4 struggles in the opposite direction. Contentment and ordinary happiness are the hard feelings to access. Fours also tend to become their emotions ("I am sad") instead of experiencing them ("I feel sad"), which makes it harder to move through what they're feeling. Kelly offers a reframe that helps separate the emotion from identity. Both types get practical tools: journaling that tracks feelings instead of to-do lists, letting trusted people see the real version of you, and building in rest that doesn't have to be earned. If you're a Three or a Four, or you love one, this episode gives language for what's happening under the surface and a few questions worth asking yourself this week. Next week: Types 5 and 6. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E153
    July 22 · 32 min

    The Feelings Enneagram 1s and 2s Avoid

    Every person has feelings they would rather not feel. This new series starts with Ones and Twos and the emotions running quietly under the surface. For Type 1, anger usually shows up first, but it is a secondary emotion. Underneath it you will often find hurt, exhaustion, and disappointment. Kelly walks through the questions that help a One name what is really going on, like what am I actually angry about and where am I holding myself to an impossible standard. Type 2 tends to track everyone else's feelings while staying disconnected from their own. The tell is a quiet "I'm okay" after a night of pouring into everyone else. The key question for a Two is simple but hard: what do I actually need right now? Damon (a Nine who claims to have no feelings) and Kelly keep it honest and a little funny as they break down what processing an emotion actually looks like: pausing, naming it, noticing it in your body, and taking a next step. If you have a One or a Two in your life, or you are one, this is a practical look at the feelings that drive behavior and how to work with them instead of around them. Next week: Types 3 and 4. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E152
    July 15 · 22 min

    Enneagram Summer Style: Types 7, 8, and 9 (Part 3)

    Wrapping up the summer series with the final three types: 7, 8, and 9. Learn how Enneagram Sevens, Eights, and Nines each define an ideal summer, and where their growth edge shows up along the way. Sevens want freedom, variety, and adventure. Damon and Kelly talk through last-minute trips, festivals, boat days, and why FOMO hits hard for a Seven stuck in a routine. The growth edge: slow down, stay present, and finish what you start. Eights bring big energy and intensity to everything they do. Lake weekends, competitive games, and international travel are Eight favorites, along with a real need to let others take the lead sometimes. The growth edge: rest without guilt and make space for emotions. Nines crave comfort, ease, and simple pleasures. Think porches, easy road trips, and backyard barbecues. Damon shares a personal story about nearly opting out of a family vacation decision altogether. The growth edge: initiate plans, speak up for what you want, and stay engaged instead of drifting. Whether you're a 7, 8, 9, or just trying to understand the people around you this summer, this episode closes out the series with practical, relatable takeaways for every number. New episodes every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E151
    July 8 · 28 min

    Enneagram Summer Style: Types 4, 5, and 6 (Part 2)

    What does a perfect summer look like for Enneagram Types 4, 5, and 6? Damon and Kelly break down how each type actually wants to spend the season, from road trips to rainy days. Type 4s want a summer with depth and beauty, not just another trip everyone else is taking. Kelly shares why Fours crave meaningful experiences over trendy ones, and how to find joy even when plans don't go perfectly. Type 5s need a low key summer with room to recharge. Hear why solo road trips, quiet lake mornings, and stargazing appeal to Fives, plus why connection still matters even for the most independent type. Type 6s want a summer that's planned, prepared, and safe. Damon and Kelly talk contingency plans, dependable traditions, and why a little planned spontaneity might be exactly what a Six needs. Whether you're a 4, 5, 6, or vacationing with one, this episode will help you understand what makes summer feel restful and good for each type. New episodes of Beyond Your Number every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E150
    July 1 · 20 min

    Enneagram Summer Style: Types 1, 2, and 3 (Part 1)

    Summer brings out a different side of every Enneagram type. In this episode, Damon and Kelly break down how Types 1, 2, and 3 approach summer break, vacations, and rest. Type 1s want a productive, well planned summer that still leaves room to relax. Type 2s crave connection through cookouts, lake days, and girls trips, but need to watch for burnout. Type 3s want a summer that looks as good as it feels, with bucket list trips and fitness goals, while learning to unplug from the need to perform. Damon and Kelly share real examples from their own friends, families, and trips, plus practical tips for each type to enjoy a more balanced summer. This is part one of a series. Types 4 through 9 are coming in future episodes. If you are new to the Enneagram or want help identifying which type fits you, this episode gives a clear picture of how personality shapes the way we rest, plan, and connect during the summer months. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E149
    June 17 · 45 min

    Enneagram Heart Triad: Types 2, 3, and 4 Find Your Type

    Are you an Enneagram 2, 3, or 4? In this live episode, Damon and Kelly break down the heart triad and help you identify your type through a game of Enneagram bingo. Recorded in front of a live audience, this one covers the three heart types in depth. The Type 2 (the loving person), motivated by the need to be loved and to serve others. The Type 3 (the effective person), driven by achievement and the need to avoid failure. And the Type 4 (the original person), motivated by the need to be special and authentically understood. For each type you'll hear the superpower, the kryptonite, and the growth edge. Connection and overextension for 2s. Achievement and performance-based identity for 3s. Creativity and comparison for 4s. Plus practical ways to support each type at work, the difference between a Beaver 3 and a Peacock 3, why a 3's closet tells you they're not a 1, and a quick intro to wings for anyone whose bingo card came up half full. Whether you already know your number or you're still figuring it out, this episode gives you real language for understanding the people you live and work with. New episodes every Wednesday. DOWNLOAD THE HEART TRIAD BINGO CARD HERE Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E148
    June 10 · 49 min

    Enneagram and Sales: How to Read Any Client (All 9 Types)

    Every person you work with has a different way of thinking, deciding, and reacting under stress. The Enneagram gives you a map for all of it. Damon and Kelly recorded this live at the Homebase Conference in Columbia, Missouri, speaking to real estate professionals. But the framework they teach applies anywhere people are making decisions under pressure, whether that's a sales conversation, a negotiation, a team meeting, or a difficult client interaction. Every type shows up differently when the stakes are high. The Type 1 needs things done right. The Type 2 is thinking about everyone else at the table. The Type 3 wants to win and move fast. The Type 6 is already asking what could go wrong. They walk through all 9 types, the 3 centers of intelligence, and a practical framework called DEAL to help you communicate better, build trust faster, and reduce the friction that derails decisions. If you work with people, this one is for you. Topics covered: all 9 Enneagram types, gut/heart/head triads, reading people under stress, communication styles, the DEAL framework, Enneagram motivations. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E147
    May 20 · 32 min

    Enneagram Conflict Styles, How Each Type Reacts (1-9)

    Why does the same disagreement feel completely different to a Type 8 versus a Type 9? Your Enneagram type shapes how you react. Damon and Kelly walk through the knee-jerk conflict response for all nine Enneagram types and what to do instead. Plus, the 20-minute rule for getting untriggered. Quick guide to each type's conflict response: Type 1: Criticizes others or themselves Type 2: Becomes overly helpful or manipulates Type 3: Spins the situation to avoid failure Type 4: Withdraws emotionally Type 5: Detaches and goes silent Type 6: Fires off endless questions Type 7: Escapes through distraction or humor Type 8: Intensifies and pushes harder Type 9: Avoids, numbs, or accommodates What you will learn: The automatic conflict response baked into each type Why criticism, withdrawal, escape, or accommodation can damage relationships. How to pause and respond instead of react. Damon shares a moment where he told a room full of people "I am not where you all are" and why that one sentence worked better than silence or argument. Kelly explains how knowing your conflict response, and your team's, turns destructive arguments into constructive ones. Whether you are navigating a hard conversation at work, a disagreement with your spouse, or just trying to understand why your coworker shuts down while you want to push forward, this episode gives you a practical map. Mentioned in this episode: The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile New episodes every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E146
    May 13 · 22 min

    Enneagram Communication: What Each Type Needs to Slow Down

    How do you communicate better through your Enneagram type? Each number has one habit to slow down. Here is the breakdown for Types 1 through 9. Kelly and Damon use James 1:19 (quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry) as the lens for this episode, walking through one specific slow-down practice for each Enneagram type. What each type should slow down: Type 1: criticism. Notice the judgment and ask what is underneath it. Type 2: their yeses. Every yes is a no to something else. Type 3: everything. Rest is not optional, even when work feels energizing. Type 4: comparison. The envy cycle starts here. Type 5: hesitation. Share the insight before you have all of it. Type 6: fear. Process feelings on the way to worst-case scenario, not after. Type 7: reactivity. Borrow the gear before you buy it. Type 8: intensity. Even when you are right, the volume can lose the room. Type 9: agreement. Sure is not the same as actually agreeing. Kelly also shares a real-time story about slowing her 8 intensity during a credit card dispute, plus a shoutout to friends from a recent Enneagram and Communication workshop at Morning Glory Christian Counseling in Moberly, Missouri. If you have ever felt like your communication style works against you, this episode gives you one practical lever to pull, tailored to your number. New episodes every Wednesday. Opus 4.7 Adaptive Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E145
    April 29 · 29 min

    Enneagram Types of Friends & Landman Characters

    Which Friends character shares your Enneagram type? Damon and Kelly walk through all 9 Enneagram types using characters from two beloved shows: the classic Friends and the Taylor Sheridan drama Landman. Friends gets the full treatment first. Monica the perfectionist 1, Rachel the image-driven 3, Phoebe the unique 4, Ross the wise 5, Chandler the loyal 6-wing-7, and Joey the joyful 7. Then they head to West Texas for Landman: attorney Rebecca Falcone, Angela and Tommy Norris, Monty Miller, Cooper, Ainsley, and engineer Dale Bradley. Along the way: why most TV characters reflect the unhealthy side of their number, Kelly's recent mission trip to Jamaica, and Damon's switch from ChatGPT to Claude. A fun, accessible way to learn the Enneagram through stories you already know. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E144
    April 8 · 32 min

    Enneagram TV Characters, What The Office Reveals About Personality

    What if your favorite TV characters can actually help you understand personality better? In this episode, Damon and Kelly have some fun using the Enneagram lens to type characters from The Office, Friends, Parks and Rec, and Landman. Along the way, they compare their own takes with AI’s guesses, debate a few tough calls, and talk about why certain casts feel so complete and memorable. You’ll hear how different Enneagram patterns show up on screen, why some characters are obvious and others are harder to pin down, and how wings, stress, and personality dynamics shape the way fictional people solve problems, create tension, and make us laugh. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E143
    April 1 · 38 min

    Enneagram Nature vs Nurture, How Each Type Develops and Why It Matters

    Are you born your Enneagram type, or does life shape it? In this episode, we finally stop trying to pick a side and walk through what both nature and nurture could look like for all nine types. Damon and Kelly break down how each type might show up from birth, how life experiences reinforce it, and the underlying “strategy” each type develops to feel loved, safe, or secure. If you’ve ever wondered why you are the way you are, or how much control you actually have to change, this conversation will help you connect the dots between your wiring and your story. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E142
    March 25 · 34 min

    Nature vs Nurture, Are You Born with Your Type or Does It Develop?

    Are you born with your Enneagram type, or is your personality shaped by family, environment, and early experiences? In this episode, Damon and Kelly dig into the nature vs nurture question through the lens of the Enneagram, childhood temperament, birth order, attachment, and growth. You’ll hear why this question matters, what psychology and lived experience suggest, and why your story still matters even if parts of your personality were set early. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E141
    March 18 · 37 min

    Enneagram Growth Path, How Each Type Can Move Toward Health and Wholeness

    We’ve talked motivation, fear, and sabotage, and now Damon and Kelly bring the series in for a hopeful landing with real growth steps for every Enneagram type. You’ll hear what growth looks like for Types 1 through 9, from letting go of perfection, to asking directly for help, to resting without earning it, to staying present in discomfort, speaking up, and taking action. If you have ever wondered what real change actually looks like for your number, this episode gives you clear next steps you can start practicing right away. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E140
    March 11 · 34 min

    Enneagram Self-Sabotage, When Your Greatest Strength Becomes Your Biggest Problem

    Every Enneagram type has a strength that helps them shine, until it gets overused and starts causing damage. In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how each type’s greatest gift can quietly turn into a defense mechanism, and how to spot that shift before it hurts your relationships, leadership, or self-awareness. From Type 1’s integrity becoming criticism, to Type 9’s peace becoming disappearance, this episode walks through all nine types with practical examples and honest reflection. You’ll learn where each type’s strength crosses the line, what that feels like for the people around them, and how to notice when your “superpower” is starting to sabotage you. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

  • S4 · E139
    March 4 · 25 min

    Enneagram Core Fears, Type 1–9 (What Each Type Avoids and How It Drives Behavior)

    Okay BYN friends, this one’s a little ominous, in a helpful way. Damon and Kelly walk through the core fear underneath each Enneagram type, and how fear becomes a “silent motivator” that can hijack your tone, your choices, and your relationships when you’re not paying attention. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why core fears often run the show subconsciously, especially under stress The core fear for each type (1–9) and what it tends to look like in real life A simple awareness prompt to use this week: “Where am I noticing this fear driving me?” Core fears by type: Type 1: fear of being wrong (or corrupt) Type 2: fear of being unwanted (and abandoned) Type 3: fear of being worthless (or unseen) Type 4: fear of having no identity (being ordinary) Type 5: fear of depletion (energy, time, resources) Type 6: fear of being unsupported (leading to loyal-to-a-fault patterns) Type 7: fear of pain (leading to avoidance and distraction) Type 8: fear of being harmed (driving control and protective walls) Type 9: fear of conflict (driving self-forgetting and disconnection) Share this one with a friend, unless you’re a 9 and you’re afraid it’ll cause conflict. (Damon said it.) Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

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