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Beyond Vanilla

BeyondVanilla

Beyond Vanilla is a sex-positive podcast on non-monogamy, hosted by best mates Amy C & Emily Spice. Join us for unfiltered chats on open relationships, boundaries, jealousy, and everything in between. With our hubbies along for the ride, no topic is off-limits. Expect real talk, personal stories, plenty of laughs, and zero judgment. 💋 New episodes weekly. Come for the chat, stay for the chaos. A taste of life Beyond Vanilla awaits…

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  • 21 episodes
  • fortnightly
  • Avg 50 min
  • English

Episodes 21

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  • Sunday · 27 min

    #37: Ghosted After Play? Swingers Etiquette.

    18+ LISTENERS ONLY Beyond Vanilla is an adults-only podcast discussing relationships, ethical non-monogamy, sexual health and other mature topics. This episode contains frank discussions about adult experiences and is intended for listeners aged 18 and over. You meet someone in the lifestyle. You have a great time. You stay in touch afterwards, talk about meeting again... and then suddenly, nothing. Have you been ghosted? Should they have told you they weren't interested? And what actually is the etiquette after you've played with someone? This week, we're answering a listener's question about feeling snubbed by a previous play partner who appeared keen to meet again, but the promised second meet never materialised. Amy and Emily discuss the sometimes awkward world of after-play etiquette, communication and expectations. Does sharing an experience with someone mean you owe each other anything afterwards? Is it kinder to simply say you're no longer interested? And how do you deal with feeling rejected when they're still very much active in the lifestyle — just apparently not with you? We also talk about not taking every rejection personally, why a great experience doesn't necessarily mean there'll be another one, and how clearer communication could save everyone a lot of unnecessary overthinking. Plus, we answer another listener question about choosing lifestyle clubs and what we'd recommend looking for when deciding where to go. Another honest, judgement-free conversation about the bits of the lifestyle nobody gives you a handbook for.

  • August 9 · 31 min

    #36: Is That Okay In The Lifestyle? Answering A Listener’s Question.

    18+ Listener Advisory: Beyond Vanilla is intended for adults aged 18 and over and contains frank discussions about sex, sexual health, relationships and ethical non-monogamy. Listener discretion is advised. A listener sent us a question: “How common is it for someone to ejaculate in their play partners mouth in the lifestyle — and is that considered okay?” It opened up a much bigger conversation. Because when it comes to swinging, there isn’t a universal rulebook for what is or isn’t okay. What one person enjoys may be completely off-limits for someone else. In Episode 36, we talk about consent, communication and why assumptions have no place in the lifestyle. We discuss the importance of talking about boundaries before you play, checking in with new partners, and understanding that consent to one sexual activity doesn’t automatically mean consent to another. We also explore etiquette when playing with other people, how couples can communicate their individual boundaries, and why being comfortable saying “yes”, “no” or “not for me” is such an important part of creating safer, more enjoyable experiences. Ultimately, the answer to “Is this okay in the lifestyle?” is often very simple: Have you talked about it? Have they consented to it? And is everyone involved genuinely comfortable with it? Another honest, judgement-free conversation from Beyond Vanilla about the questions people want answered but don't always feel comfortable asking.

  • July 26 · 50 min

    #35: Consent, Clickbait & Swinging

    🔞 18+ Content Warning Beyond Vanilla is an adults-only podcast. Consent isn't a one-time conversation—it's the foundation of the lifestyle. In this episode, we're diving into one of the most important topics in ethical non-monogamy: consent. We discuss why consent is an ongoing conversation, not just something that's agreed once and forgotten. We also explore how sensationalist media coverage of swinging and the non-monogamous community can create fear, spread misinformation, and reinforce harmful stereotypes. From clickbait headlines to the recent stories dominating the news, we unpack the difference between what really happens in the lifestyle and the way it's often portrayed. We also share our own experiences of being judged and treated differently in vanilla settings simply because we're swingers, and why stigma still exists despite the lifestyle being built on communication, honesty and consent. Whether you're curious about the lifestyle, already part of it, or simply interested in the conversations around relationships, this episode is all about separating fact from fiction. In this episode we discuss: Why consent is an ongoing process Clickbait, sensationalism and media myths Our personal experiences of stigma and judgement Why communication is the real foundation of the lifestyle As always, we're here to educate, share our experiences, and have real unfiltered conversations. Follow us on Instagram, Tiktok & Youtube.

  • June 14 · 45 min

    #34: Vaginas, BV, Thrush & Confidence | Women's Intimate Health in the Lifestyle

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, sexual health discussions, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week on Beyond Vanilla, it's just Amy and Emily, and absolutely nothing is off limits. We're diving deep into all things vaginas, intimate health, confidence, and the realities of navigating life in the lifestyle as women. Let's be honest — there are some conversations that women are often told to keep quiet about. Well... not this week. In this episode, we're talking about: 💗 BV, thrush, and common intimate health issues 💗 How we keep things fresh when our vaginas are hosting more guests than average 💗 Appearance, smell, taste, and body confidence 💗 The myths, insecurities, and pressures women face 💗 Practical tips for maintaining intimate health in the lifestyle 💗 Our experiences with orgasms, squirting, toy play, and sexual exploration 💗 Why there should be absolutely no shame around talking about any of it As always, we're bringing our usual honesty, humour, oversharing, and real-life experiences to the table. No awkwardness, no judgement, and definitely no sugarcoating. Whether you're brand new to the lifestyle or have been around for years, this episode is all about normalising the conversations women are often too embarrassed to have. Because every vagina is different, every body is different, and there is far less to worry about than most of us have been led to believe. So grab a drink, get comfortable, and join us for one of our most open, honest, and educational chats yet. No gatekeeping. No bullshit. Just real talk. 💋

  • May 31 · 51 min

    #33:Lifestyle Catch-Up | Swinger Club Nights, DTF Community & Cowboy Nights!

    Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, lifestyle discussion, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week on Beyond Vanilla, it’s Amy, Ben, and Emily catching up on all of our latest lifestyle adventures. We’re chatting about recent club nights, birthday celebrations, the dreaded swingers flu, and the growing DTF community we’ve created over on Telegram. We also get into rodeo-themed events, the chaos, the laughs, and everything else that’s been keeping us busy lately. As always, this isn’t a polished highlight reel. It’s just three friends sharing the reality of life in and around the lifestyle—the funny moments, the ridiculous moments, and everything in between. Expect plenty of laughter, a fair bit of swearing, complete honesty, and the usual Beyond Vanilla tangents that somehow take us miles away from where we started. So grab a drink, get comfortable, and join us for another catch-up episode packed with stories, opinions, and absolutely no sugarcoating, no gatekeeping, and no bullshit. Enjoy!

  • May 17 · 1 hr 4 min

    #32: Inside the Bliss Cruise | Swingers Cruise Review & Experience

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, lifestyle discussion, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week on Beyond Vanilla, we’re bringing you a very special Bliss Cruise episode with Emily and Darren taking us onboard one of the most talked-about swinger’s cruises out there. And trust us… this is one you’ll definitely want to watch over on YouTube too, because there are LOTS of visuals in this episode — including: 🏡 Tours of the Airbnb 🚢 Tours around the Bliss cruise itself ✨ Theme nights, outfits, and the overall vibe onboard 👀 Behind-the-scenes moments and what really goes on at a swinger’s cruise We’re diving deep into what the experience is actually like — from the excitement of boarding to the chaos, connections, parties, and the very real aftermath of cruise life. You’ll be right there in the action with Emily and Darren as they take you back to their cabin, share their honest thoughts, and give you a genuine insight into what a lifestyle cruise is really all about. As always, we’re keeping it real — no sugarcoating, no gatekeeping, no bullshit. Just the funny, messy, exciting reality of the lifestyle, exactly as it happened. So if you’ve ever wondered whether a Bliss Cruise is worth it… this episode is for you. 💋

  • May 3 · 38 min

    #31: Has the Swinging Lifestyle Lost Its Spark? Social Media & Mainstream Impact

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, lifestyle discussion, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week on Beyond Vanilla, we’re asking a question that a lot of people are thinking… but not many are saying out loud: Has the lifestyle lost its spark? With the rise of social media, content creation, and the lifestyle becoming more visible than ever, things are changing — but is that a good thing… or are we losing something along the way? In this episode, we’re talking about: 📱 The influence of social media on the swinging lifestyle 👀 Has it become too mainstream? ✨ The positives — more openness, more acceptance, more community ⚠️ The downsides — comparison, performance, and unrealistic expectations 💭 Whether the “spark” has really gone… or just evolved We’re also sharing why we believe it’s so important to be honest about all sides of the lifestyle — not just the highlights, but the difficult moments too. As always, we’re keeping it real — no sugarcoating, no gatekeeping, no bullshit. And we really want to hear from you on this one… Do you think the lifestyle has changed for the better — or lost some of its magic?

  • April 19 · 41 min

    #30: Swinging Lifestyle Burnout — Common Signs, Reconnecting & Intimacy Styles.

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, lifestyle discussion, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week on Beyond Vanilla, join Amy, Ben, and Emily on the bed as we talk about something that doesn’t get spoken about enough in the lifestyle… burnout. Because as much as the lifestyle can be exciting, freeing, and fun — it can also become overwhelming, emotionally draining, and sometimes just… a bit too much. In this episode, we’re diving into: 😮‍💨 The signs of lifestyle burnout (and how to spot them early) 🧠 Why it happens — and why it’s more common than you think 💔 How burnout can impact you and your relationship 🛑 Why it’s okay to take a break (and drop the guilt) ❤️ How to reconnect with your partner when things feel off ✨ How understanding your intimacy styles can help rebuild connection As always, we’re keeping it real — no sugarcoating, no gatekeeping, no bullshit. Just honest conversations about the parts of the lifestyle people don’t always show. Because the truth is… you don’t have to keep going just because everyone else is. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is pause, reconnect, and come back stronger. Let’s normalise taking a break. 💋

  • April 5 · 59 min

    #29: Consent in the Swinging Lifestyle: How to Say Yes, No & Stay Safe

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, lifestyle discussion, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week, it’s — Amy, Emily & Ben — and we’re diving into one of the most important topics in the lifestyle: consent. We’re talking about what consent actually means (and what it doesn’t), how to give it, how to ask for it, and how to confidently say yes and no. In this episode, we cover: 💬 What real, enthusiastic consent looks like 🛑 How to say no without guilt or pressure ✨ How to communicate clearly in the moment 🧠 Navigating awkward or grey-area situations 🛡️ How to stay safe, respectful, and aware in the lifestyle Because the truth is — consent isn’t just a one-time conversation. It’s ongoing, it’s essential, and it’s what makes the lifestyle a safe and enjoyable space for everyone. As always, we’re keeping it real, unfiltered, and honest — no gatekeeping, no sugarcoating, no bullshit… just proper conversations (and a few laughs & tangents along the way, because you know us). This is one for everyone in the lifestyle — whether you’re brand new or have been in it for years.

  • March 22 · 48 min

    #28: Different Types of Meets in the Swinging Lifestyle: Clubs, Private & Social.

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, lifestyle discussion, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week, we’re all on the bed — Amy, Emily, Ben, and Darren — and we’re diving into the real, raw reality of the different types of meets in the lifestyle. From club meets to private meets to social meets, we’re breaking down what they’re actually like, what to expect, and how they all differ depending on what you’re looking for. We’re sharing: 🔥 The pros and cons of each type of meet 💬 Our personal experiences (the good, the awkward, and everything in between) ✨ Tips and tricks to help you feel more confident going into each one 👀 What nobody tells you before you try them Whether you’re brand new, curious, or already in the lifestyle and figuring out what works best for you, this episode gives you a no sugarcoating, no gatekeeping insight into it all. Come join us for another honest, funny, and unfiltered chat — exactly how you know and love us.

  • March 11 · 29 min

    🎙️ Mini Episode — Set Sail With Amy & Ben: The 2026 Virgin Cruise Group Trip

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes and lifestyle discussion. Listener discretion advised. We’ve got a little bonus episode for you this week! Amy and Ben are jumping on the mic to talk all about the Virgin Cruise group trip they’re hosting in August 2026 — and why they’d love you to come and join them. If you’ve ever wondered what a lifestyle-friendly cruise is like, this episode is a little glimpse into why it means so much to them. In fact, Amy and Ben’s own swinging journey began on a Virgin cruise, so it holds a very special place in their hearts. They’ll be sharing: 🚢 Why Virgin cruises are such a great environment for lifestyle couples 💋 How their own journey started at sea ✨ What you can expect if you join the group trip 🎟️ Details about the six discounted cabins that are currently available If you’ve been thinking about dipping your toe into a lifestyle holiday, or just fancy an unforgettable trip with like-minded people, this might be the perfect adventure. So join Amy and Ben for this short bonus episode and find out why they’re so excited to set sail again this summer.

  • March 8 · 54 min

    #27: Swinging Lifestyle Event Reviews: Dominium Vita & Tequila Rosé Couple Party. What Did We Really Think?

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, lifestyle discussion, and unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. This week’s episode is a little bit different as we’re bringing you two lifestyle event reviews in one episode. Emily and Darren headed to a Dominium Vita event, and they’re giving us the full breakdown of their night — the vibe, the crowd, what actually went down, and whether they’d recommend it to others in the lifestyle. Meanwhile, Amy and Ben went along to a Tequila Rosé couples party, so they’ll be sharing their honest thoughts on that experience too. From the atmosphere to the people, the organisation, and whether it lived up to the hype — we’re covering it all. If you’ve ever wondered what these events are really like, whether they’re worth attending, or if they might be something you’d want to try yourself, this episode gives you our unfiltered opinions and personal experiences. As always, there’s plenty of honesty, lots of laughs, and absolutely no sugarcoating or gatekeeping. Dominium Vita Website https://dominiumvita.com/ Dominium Vita Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dominiumvitaevents?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== Tequila Rose Couples Parties Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tequila_rose_couples?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== Beyond Vanilla Podcast Instagram https://www.instagram.com/beyondvanillapod/?hl=en

  • February 22 · 51 min

    #26: Body Confidence in the Swinging Lifestyle: What Nobody Talks About. From The Perspective Of Men & Women!

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes, body image discussions, and unfiltered lifestyle chat. Listener discretion advised. In today’s episode, we’re getting very real about body confidence and insecurities in the lifestyle — from both the male and female perspective. We’re talking about the things people worry about but rarely say out loud: Performance anxiety & erections Penis size worries Mum-tums, surgery scars & post-baby bodies Feeling “not enough” in play spaces Nothing is off the table. Because the truth is — every single one of us has felt insecure at some point. The boys are also spilling the tea on things that have actually affected them (yes, they’re really going there). Because most men don’t talk about this stuff… but they should. In this episode we cover: How to build confidence in your own skin What to do when insecurity hits mid-situation How to support your partner through body wobbles Why nobody is as confident as they look This one is for everyone in the lifestyle — whether you’re new, seasoned, or silently struggling with comparison and self-doubt. No gatekeeping. No pretending. Just honest conversations that remind you: you are not alone.

  • February 8 · 45 min

    #25: We’re Back! A Swinging Lifestyle Catch-Up | Events, Wobbles & 2026 Plans

    Episode 25 — We’re Back, Bitches! (2026 Catch-Up) Explicit Content Warning: Adult themes, lifestyle chat & unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. We’re back, bitches — did you miss us? 😘 Our first episode of 2026 is a proper catch-up, recorded the morning after our second Anti-Social Behaviour meet-up (yes… we’re hanging) In this episode we’re chatting about: 🔥 What really went down at the Anti-Social Behaviour events 🎢 Our Butlin’s trip ❤️ An honest update on Amy & Ben’s progress after their wobble 🎄 Christmas chaos, life updates, and everything we’ve been up to 💬 And just generally having a good old natter like we never left No agenda. Just us, catching up, oversharing (as always), and easing ourselves back into 2026 with our usual no sugarcoating, no gatekeeping, no bullshit energy. If you’re new — welcome. If you’re a regular — thanks for sticking with us. Either way… we’re so glad to be back. 💋

  • Dec 7, 2025 · 49 min

    #24: Merry Swingmas From Beyond Vanilla HQ! Xmas Episode

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode includes adult themes, lifestyle chat & unfiltered language. Listener discretion advised. Merry Christmas you filthy animals! 🎄 This week we’re bringing you a festive special — recorded on location because apparently we like to challenge ourselves (and your eardrums). So if the audio is slightly chaotic, just pretend it’s snow, crystals, or sleigh bells. You know us — ever the professionals. 😉 In this episode, we’re diving into: ✨ Christmas & New Year events happening in the lifestyle 🎉 Our plans for the holiday season 🎄 Hilarious stories from festive meets gone by 💋 Celebrating our first play anniversary 🔥 The first ever Anti-Social DTF event happening the very night of recording 📜 Our “Fuck It List” for 2026 — what we want to try, explore, experience & maybe survive It’s cozy, cheeky, slightly chaotic and full of festive filth — just the way we like it. Grab a mulled wine, get comfy, and celebrate with us as we wrap up an incredible year with all of YOU. ❤️ Thank you for listening, supporting, laughing, learning and wobbling with us. We love you and we’ll see you in 2026. 🎙️💋

  • Nov 23, 2025 · 1 hr 10 min

    #23: Bliss Cruise Breakdown! What Really Happens On A Ship Full Of Swingers?

    🔞 Content Warning: This episode contains explicit discussion of adult themes, ENM, and the swinging lifestyle. Listener discretion is advised. 🔞 This week on Beyond Vanilla, Amy is catching up with Emily and Darren fresh off their Bliss Cruise adventure — and yes, they’ve brought home all the gossip… and a touch of the infamous swinger flu. Expect uncensored stories, naughty tea, and zero gatekeeping as they spill exactly what really goes down on a debaucherous swinger’s cruise and their wild night at a Florida swinger resort. If you’ve ever wondered what these trips are actually like behind the glossy TikToks and filtered posts… buckle up. We recorded this one remotely thanks to the germs they smuggled back from sea 👀 so please excuse a couple of small tech issues — but trust us, the stories more than make up for it. Get comfy, grab a drink, and come sail into the chaos with us.

  • Nov 9, 2025 · 1 hr 6 min

    #22: When The Lifestyle Gets Real: Solo Play & The Wobbles That Came After.

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains open and honest discussions about ethical non-monogamy, solo play, emotional vulnerability, and relationship dynamics. Listener discretion advised. This week it’s just Amy & Ben — and we’re keeping it extremely real. We’re diving deep into what happens after solo play in an open relationship… when the emotions hit, the insecurities creep in, and your attachment style decides to make a surprise appearance. Amy opens up about discovering her anxious attachment style and how it’s changed the way she understands her reactions, communication, and confidence in the lifestyle. We’re breaking down: How solo play can trigger unexpected feelings How to communicate through the wobble without blame How to recognise when it’s your attachment style talking — not your partner And why it’s totally normal to have these feelings, even in a healthy, open relationship No sugarcoating. No gatekeeping. Just the honest, messy, real side of ethical non-monogamy. Because you can be secure and still have wobbles. You’re human.

  • Oct 26, 2025 · 1 hr

    #21: Breaking the Ice in the Lifestyle (and Maybe a Few Rules)

    🎙️ Content Warning: Adult themes, explicit language, and way too much laughter. 18+ only. This week on Beyond Vanilla, Amy and Emily are joined by the one and only Doug the Pug in place of the boys! We’re talking about breaking the ice in the lifestyle — creative, funny, and sometimes spicy ways to meet new couples that go beyond the usual bar or restaurant setup. Because let’s be real… not everyone’s a social butterfly or a drinker, and sometimes even us anti-social swingers need a few tricks up our sleeve. From our own hilarious experiences to fresh ideas for first meets, we’re sharing real stories, real talk, and a few chaotic tangents (obviously). Oh — and because it wouldn’t be us without a detour — we’re touching on BDSM in the lifestyle. It’s raw, honest, unfiltered, and full of laughs — just how we like it. 🎧 Tune in to Episode 21 of Beyond Vanilla — where honesty meets hilarity in the world of ethical non-monogamy.

  • Oct 12, 2025 · 45 min

    #20: Rejection In The Lifestyle: There’s A Mop For Every Bucket!

    🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes related to the ENM and swinging lifestyle. Listener discretion is advised! This time on Beyond Vanilla, Amy and Emily are diving into one of the trickiest parts of the lifestyle — rejection. How do you handle being rejected? And how do you reject someone kindly without feeling like an absolute villain? As Amy always says, “There’s a mop for every bucket — sometimes your mop just doesn’t fit in their bucket, and that’s okay!” 💦 We’re sharing our top tips and tricks for navigating rejection like pros — from setting boundaries and keeping confidence intact to remembering that it’s never personal. We’re also chatting about neurospicy swingers, the real reasons rejection stings so much, and of course, sharing our usual chaos and funny stories along the way. Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Absolutely no gatekeeping. If you’ve ever felt that little sting of “not chosen,” this one’s for you. 🔞 Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains adult themes related to the swinging and ENM lifestyle.

  • Sep 28, 2025 · 1 hr 3 min

    #19: Think You Know What Swinging Is? Myth Busting Misconceptions Of ENM

    🔞 Explicit Content – 18+ only 🔞 Amy & Emily are back on the sofa for Episode 19 of the Beyond Vanilla Podcast, and this week we’re tackling some of the biggest myths and misconceptions about the swinging lifestyle. We’re breaking down what people think the lifestyle is versus what it’s actually like — from jealousy and relationships, to dogging myths, to whether friendships really exist in the ENM and swinger community. We share our own personal experiences — the good, the bad, and the messy — and talk about how jealousy shows up (and why it doesn’t mean you’re a “bad swinger”), plus the realities of ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, and swinging. As always, it’s raw, unfiltered, and unapologetically honest!

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