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Better After Divorce

Coach Ivy

Are you ready to go from the devastation of divorce to the reclamation of your entire life? Well, Queen, you’ve arrived at the perfect place! Welcome to Better After Divorce, the podcast dedicated to empowering women on their journey to reign with confidence, passion, and power in royal fashion.
This is where we embrace the up-level, the evolution, your journey to becoming the best version of yourself. Whether you’re picking up the pieces or building an empire, this space is yours to rise, reign, and thrive. Time to claim your power and become the fierce unstoppable Queen you were born to be.

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#52
Wednesday · 1 hr 2 min
Being Single On Purpose
Being Single On Purpose The world has exactly one story for a single woman in midlife: something is wrong with you. You're waiting. Still looking. Got issues. Bullshit at its finest. There's a difference between single-and-waiting and single-and-sovereign — same relationship status, completely different woman. One's keeping a seat warm. The other one already picked herself. This week we get into what that actually looks like, including the part nobody says out loud: sovereign doesn't mean never lonely. IN THIS EPISODE → Why the toy aisle told you the story before you could even read → Single-waiting vs. single-sovereign — two entirely different women, one status → How all five archetypes do alone: proving, serving, investigating, defending, breathing → The aligned one who still walked away — and why disappointment is its own kind of grief → What Frances figured out in Tuscany that most of us are still waiting on → The honest part: some Saturdays are long, and that doesn't mean you got it wrong REFERENCE → Read the companion piece on Substack: Being Single On Purpose → Find your archetype — the free guide → Already know your archetype and tired of watching yourself run it? Book an Archetype Breakthrough Session IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Send it to the woman who keeps getting asked when she's going to settle down — and has stopped explaining herself. She needs to hear this. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#51
August 12 · 46 min
Intimacy Cost More Now - And You Have More to Lose
Intimacy Cost More Now - And You Have More to Lose You want the closeness, the connection. You even want the sex. So why does the thought of actually going out and getting it make you want to take a nap? It’s not that desire left. It’s that the price went up. This week we’re talking about what intimacy actually costs in midlife — and why your “I just can’t right now” isn’t a flaw. It’s accurate pricing. Because intimacy isn’t sex. Intimacy is letting someone see the parts of you you’ve kept hidden since the divorce — and that bill doesn’t take Saturday nights anymore. IN THIS EPISODE → Red light on “Keepin’ It Easy” — why easy for him is expensive for you → One comically unsexy Tuesday night — the nighttime ritual, the covers, and Hercules holding his ground → The three costs — the body, what you have to lose, and the past → The reframe — the price didn’t rise because you got difficult; the asset appreciated → Five women, same exposure — how each archetype meets intimacy, and the wall she can’t take down → What Samantha Jones understood that most of us miss → Coach Ivy’s truth — not dating right now, on purpose. Not a waiting room. Ownership. REFERENCE → Read the companion article on Substack: Intimacy Costs More Now — and You Have More to Lose on coachivy.substack.com → Find your archetype — free Dating Pattern Guide: coachivy.involve.me/relationship-pattern → Book an Archetype Breakthrough Session: calendly.com/coachivyallen/the-archetype-breakthrough-session → Write me — I answer every email personally: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Send it to the woman who keeps apologizing for not having the energy to date. She’s not too tired for love — she’s too rich to overpay. She needs to hear this. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#50
July 26 · 42 min
You Were So Busy Being Chosen You Never Chose Him
You Were So Busy Being Chosen You Never Chose Him The date went well. You know it did — because you checked. Once when he leaned in, and again in the car, replaying the whole thing. And somewhere around the second exit it hits you: you can't name one true thing about him. Not what he said. You have all of that. You don't know who he is. Whether you even liked him. This week we're talking about the difference between fear and fullness — and why it's not a feeling you have on a date. It's the position you walked in standing on. Fear spends the whole night auditioning. Fullness walks in with nothing to extract, which is the only reason it can actually see him. Because the real cost of dating from fear isn't heartbreak. It's blindness. IN THIS EPISODE → Why fear isn't an emotion — it's a position, and it doesn't just show up on the date, it shows up about all men → Five women, same fear, five completely different dates — how the Lioness, Matriarch, Seeker, Valkyrie, and Empath each dance around it → Erica Barry's turtlenecks — the armor you don't notice you're wearing → The Game of 26 — the dating experiment that made joy possible again, and why the point was never to date 26 people → Fear vs. fullness — a past you're still arguing with vs. a past you've stopped negotiating with → The part nobody names — how "being chosen" quietly replaces choosing him REFERENCE → Read the companion piece on Substack: You Were So Busy Being Chosen You Never Chose Him IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Send it to the woman who's been on a hundred good dates and still can't tell you if she liked a single one of them. She needs to hear this. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#49
June 23 · 33 min
You Can't Flirt In A Body You're Not Feelin'
You Can't Flirt in a Body You're Not Feelin' You know that half-second delay when you catch your reflection and think — that's not me. Or it is. It's just not the me I expected to see. And somehow you're supposed to go on a date feeling like that. This week we're talking about the body you're actually dating in right now. Not the one you're waiting to get back to. Not the one you had ten years ago. This one. Today. Because you can't flirt in a body you're not feelin' — and most of us in midlife are somewhere between making peace and making war with the body we're in. IN THIS EPISODE → The body betrayal nobody talks about — peace isn't the same as appreciation → How attraction didn't disappear — it just relocated → Need is thirsty. Desire is dessert. The difference changes everything. → The pure green light — what dating from fullness actually looks like when you get dressed for a date → The validation trap and why either way you lose when you look for it in him → The way out — falling in love with the woman living in this body right now REFERENCE → Read the companion article on Substack: Dating in a Body You're Just Not Into coachivy.substack.com IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Send it to the woman in your life who's been harder on her body than she's ever been on anyone else. She needs to hear this. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#48
June 14 · 24 min
Your Not On A Date. You're On A Job Interview
You're Not on a Date. You're on a Job Interview. It's crazy out here — and you're spending a fortune of energy for almost nothing. But not for the reason you think. This week we're talking about the wasteland. The matches that go nowhere. The Sunday swiping that leaves you lonelier than before. The guy you almost texted yes to — not because you wanted to, but because you had nothing else going on. You're competent, self-aware, and honestly? You look pretty damn good. But this one arena makes you feel like you're losing your mind. You're not crazy. It IS crazy out here. But here's what nobody is saying out loud — it's not the men, the apps, or your age. It's how we date. We don't date. We interview. We show up with a clipboard and a list of questions, deciding if he's worthy of a job offer before the appetizers arrive. This is Part 1 of Dating From Fullness — the series that walks you out of the wasteland. Not by trying harder. By carrying less. IN THIS EPISODE → What the dating wasteland actually looks like — and why you're not imagining it → The real reason dating is exhausting (hint: it's the clipboard, not the men) → Red Light / Green Light — the date that went perfectly and ended in a fade → The Game of 26 — the season Coach Ivy stopped keeping score and everything shifted → Why you can't pour enjoyment into a cup that's already full of dread → The freedom of nonattachment — and why it's the most magnetic thing you can bring to a table REFERENCE → Read the article this week on Substack: You're Not Crazy, and You're Not Alone — Midlife Dating Can Be Grueling IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Send it to the woman in your life who's exhausted by dating and starting to wonder if it's her. It's not — and this episode will show her what is. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#47
June 4 · 36 min
You're Not Unlucky. You Keep Telling the Wrong Story.
You're Not Unlucky. You Keep Telling the Wrong Story. This week we’re talking about the shadow — the place every archetype goes when the pattern wins. And the woman who lives there. Meet Allegra. She’s done the therapy. She’s done the work. She knows her patterns. And she hasn’t had one serious relationship in over a decade. She’s not one of the five archetypes. She’s the shadow that lives inside all of them. And she has a name. The Victim. Not victim as an insult. Victim as a position. A place you stand in relation to your own life. This episode is for every woman who has ever asked — why does this keep happening to me? And is finally ready for the real answer. IN THIS EPISODE → What we appreciate appreciates, and why every archetype is looking at the wrong thing → Allegra’s story — and the three red flags that were never about him → The five archetypes in their shadow state — and the pop culture women living every one of them → The 100% responsibility concept — why I hated it and what I finally understood → The Queen vs the peasant — two ways to carry a hard story → Where everything starts to change REFERENCE → Read the article this week on Substack: The Pattern No One Wants to Admit They’re Living IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Send it to the Allegra in your life. Not as a call out — as a gift. The woman who is ready to see it will. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#46
May 28 · 33 min
You Feel Everything for Everyone. When Do You Finally Get to Feel Something for Yourself?
You Feel Everything for Everyone. When Do You Finally Get to Feel Something for Yourself? This week we’re talking about the Empath — the woman who feels everything for everyone. And somewhere along the way forgot to feel anything for herself. She’s deeply attuned. Compassionate. The most emotionally evolved woman in the room. And she is completely disconnected from her own experience inside a relationship. Because the Empath doesn’t just feel other people’s emotions. She absorbs them. Manages them. Takes responsibility for them. And when a man finally offers her space to feel her own — she mistakes it for emotional shallowness. And leaves. This episode is for the woman who has spent her whole life reading everyone but herself. IN THIS EPISODE → Kayla’s story — and the man she walked away from for being too steady → Why the Empath’s real pattern is controlling the emotional weather — not reading it → The cruel irony — the man she says she wants is the hardest one for her to be with → What space actually feels like when you’ve never had it in a relationship → The moment that shifts everything — and why it’s quieter than you expect REFERENCE → Read the article this week on Substack: Little Did She Know, He Wasn’t the One Running From His Emotions IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Share it with the woman who feels everything for everyone. She’ll hear herself in every word. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#45
May 22 · 36 min
Creating a Test He Can't Win is What's Keeping You Single
Creating a Test He Can't Win is What's Keeping You Single This week we’re talking about the Valkyrie — the woman who tests every man she meets. And wonders why they all fail. She’s not difficult. She’s not impossible. She’s a woman who respects strength and wants to be met — not rescued. So she tests for it. Deliberately. Consistently. Until she finds the edge of what a man can hold. And every time a man shows a very human response to being constantly evaluated — she writes him off. Too soft. Too submissive. Couldn’t handle her. Except — that’s not what’s happening. And this episode is about what is. IN THIS EPISODE → Vickie’s story — the date she was dreading before it even started → Why the Valkyrie’s tests were never designed to be passed permanently → The difference between discernment and a gauntlet → What a man’s annoyance at being tested is actually telling her → The question Vickie finally asked herself — and why it changes everything REFERENCE MENTIONED → Read the article this week on Substack: She Tests Every Man She Meets. And They All Fail. → Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, John Gray (book mentioned on how men and women keep score) IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Share it with the woman who calls herself too much. She’ll hear herself in every word — and that recognition is exactly where things start to change. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously — so they can choose what comes next, on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#44
May 15 · 25 min
Potential is Not Reality
This week we’re talking about the Seeker — the woman who can see the potential in every man she dates. And keeps forgetting to see herself. She’s not naive. She’s not desperate. She’s smart, self-aware, and genuinely believes that people are evolving. She asks the hard questions. She brings things up. The answers always seem plausible. And still — nothing moves forward. The relationship stays in the space between what is and what could be. And she stays with it. Because the possibility feels real enough to wait for. This episode is for the woman who believes in everyone. And is overdue to believe in herself. IN THIS EPISODE →The Red Light Green Light scenario that reveals what waiting is really costing you →Ingrid’s story — and the moment Ivy realized she was telling her own →Why the Seeker confuses potential with partnership →The difference between chemistry and congruency — and why one lies →What it actually looks like to choose yourself instead of the vision REFERENCE Read the article this week on Substack: Potential is Not Reality — Meet the Seeker IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Share it with the woman who sees the best in everyone — and keeps ending up disappointed. She’ll hear herself in every word. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously — so they can choose what comes next, on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#43
May 8 · 25 min
You Keep the Peace. But Who Is Keeping You?
You Keep the Peace. But Who Is Keeping You? This week we're talking about the Matriarch — the woman who holds everything together. And wonders why no one is holding her. She's the one people call in a crisis. The emotional anchor in every room she walks into. The woman who reads the temperature, builds the bridge, and keeps the "us" alive — even when she's running on empty. And in her relationships, that same gift quietly works against her. Because when you manage the conflict before it surfaces, smooth over the hard moments, and make yourself endlessly flexible — you never find out who he actually is when things get real. This episode is for the woman who is devoted to everyone. And overdue to be devoted to herself. IN THIS EPISODE → The Red Light Green Light scenario that reveals what keeping the peace is really costing you → Diedre's story — and the moment she realized she'd been the background to every man's foreground → Why the Matriarch confuses being needed with being loved → What it actually looks like to stop smoothing it over and let him meet you in the hard moment → The shift from holding everyone else's vision — to finally holding your own REFERENCE Read the article this week on Substack: The Background to His Foreground — Meet the Matriarch IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Share it with the woman who holds everything together — at work, at home, and in her relationships. She'll hear herself in every word. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously — so they can choose what comes next, on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#42
May 1 · 21 min
You're Treating Him Like an Employee, Not a Partner
You're Treating Him Like an Employee, Not a Partner This week we're talking about the Lioness — the woman who handles everything. Including the relationship. You're a woman who handles things. Your career, your life, your relationships. And it works — professionally, logistically, functionally. But somewhere in your love life, the skill that built everything is quietly working against you. In this episode, Coach Ivy introduces the Lioness — the woman who is capable, compelling, and accidentally holding the whole relationship up by herself. Not because she's controlling. Because she's competent. And because letting go feels more terrifying than just doing it herself. If you've ever felt more relieved than heartbroken when something ended — this episode is for you. In This Episode → The Red Light Green Light scenario that reveals what over-managing really looks like in real time → Maya's story — and why the most disappointing part wasn't the breakup → Why the Lioness grips tightest with the men she likes most → The thing nobody tells her: the difference between "he didn't do it" and "he didn't do it your way" → What actually starts to shift when she learns to receive Reference → Read the article this week on Substack: You Built a Whole Life. Why Does Love Still Feel Like Something to Hold Together? If This Episode Resonated Share it with a woman who holds everything together — in her career, her home, and her relationships. She'll know exactly who she is in this episode. About the Podcast Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously — so they can choose what comes next, on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#41
April 24 · 22 min
You're Not Dating Him. You're Dating Your Pattern.
You're Not Dating Him. You're Dating Your Pattern. Have you ever found yourself further along in a relationship in your head than you actually were in real life? In this episode, Coach Ivy shares a personal story about dating her imagination instead of reality, introduces the five relationship archetypes, and explains why you keep choosing the same dynamic — even when you know better. Because here's what most women don't realize: you're not choosing bad men because you have bad taste. You're choosing familiar men because your pattern recognizes them. And until you name the pattern — you'll keep dating it. In this episode →The Red Light Green Light scenario that reveals what comfort without curiosity really means →Why so many women are dating their imagination — not the man in front of them →The five relationship archetypes — the Seeker, the Lioness, the Matriarch, the Valkyrie, and the Empath →Why healthy men can feel wrong when your nervous system is wired for a familiar pattern →How to finally see your pattern clearly — so you can stop dating it Reference →Read the article: When a Green Light Feels Wrong IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Share it with a woman who keeps wondering why she ends up in the same relationship with a different man — this episode is for her. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next — on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#40
April 16 · 40 min
Men Are Not the Problem — When a Green Light Does Not Feel Like Chemistry
Men Are Not the Problem — When a Green Light Does Not Feel Like Chemistry Sometimes the issue is not that there are no good men. It is that healthy men can feel easy to overlook when they do not activate the pattern you are used to. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks why some women miss green lights in dating — not because they want dysfunction, but because calm, emotionally available connection can feel unfamiliar when your nervous system has been trained to respond to intensity, inconsistency, or emotional distance. This conversation explores the difference between real compatibility and pattern-based chemistry. Because sometimes what feels exciting is not alignment — it is activation. And sometimes what feels underwhelming at first is actually peace, steadiness, and emotional safety. In this episode: why healthy men can be overlooked when they do not trigger familiar chemistry how pattern-based attraction can distort your read on a green light why peace and emotional safety may feel unfamiliar before they feel desirable how to slow down, discern more clearly, and stop confusing activation with alignment IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Share it with another woman who is learning that not all green lights come with fireworks — and that healthy can feel unfamiliar before it feels right. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next — on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#39
April 14 · 33 min
Men Are Not the Enemy — The Real Problem Is What You Keep Tolerating
Men Are Not the Enemy — The Real Problem Is What You Keep Tolerating If you have been disappointed, hurt, or exhausted in dating, it can be easy to make men the problem. But that story only takes you so far. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks the deeper truth: the issue is not simply who you meet — it is what you keep overlooking, excusing, minimizing, or tolerating once the pattern begins to reveal itself. Because the real cost is not just one wrong man. It is the emotional, mental, and energetic price of staying too long in dynamics that were never fully aligned. This conversation is about taking your power back without blame, bitterness, or denial. In this episode: why blaming men can keep you disconnected from your real power how toleration becomes the doorway to repeating the same dating pattern why smart women often override what they know in the name of potential, chemistry, or hope how to recognize the cost of staying too long and start choosing differently with clarity and self-trust IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED You’re not alone. Share it with another woman who is ready to stop tolerating what costs her peace, power, and self-trust. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next — on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED Take the Relationship Pattern Quiz Join Office Hours Live Wednesdays at 7 PM ET RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#38
April 3 · 26 min
The Small Things You Tolerate Become the Relationship.
The Small Things You Tolerate Become the Relationship What you excuse in the beginning rarely stays small. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks how women quietly tolerate subtle inconsistency, mixed signals, and low-grade confusion in the early stages of dating - especially when the chemistry feels good. Because the pattern rarely begins with one giant red flag. It begins with the small things you explain away, excuse, or talk yourself out of honoring. And over time, those small tolerations can become the relationship itself. In this episode: why the small things in the beginning matter more than women want to admit how chemistry can make inconsistency easier to excuse what “somewhat inconsistent” actually looks like in real life why women tolerate what does not feel safe; and how self-trust is rebuilt by honoring the small things sooner IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED You’re not alone. Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next - on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz Book an Archetype Breakthrough Session Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays at 7 PM ET) RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#37
March 26 · 34 min
Why Smart Women Confuse Chemistry with Compatibility
Why Smart Women Confuse Chemistry With Compatibility Just because it pulls you in doesn’t mean it fits. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks the difference between attraction and alignment - and why so many smart, self-aware women still find themselves drawn to dynamics that are emotionally familiar but not actually good for them. Because chemistry can feel powerful, immediate, and real... and still have nothing to do with compatibility. In this episode: why attraction does not always mean alignment how chemistry can be familiarity in a sexier package why knowing something is off is not always enough to break the pattern how to date with more discernment, clarity, and self-trust IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED You’re not alone. Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently. ABOUT THE PODCAST Better After Divorce is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next - on their terms. RESOURCES MENTIONED Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays at 7 PM ET) RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#36
March 20 · 24 min
Do You Have a Type… Or a Pattern?
Better After Divorce | Episode 36 Do You Have a Type… Or a Pattern? Most smart women know their type. The potential guy. The unavailable one. The emotionally complicated one. But what many don’t realize is this: Sometimes what we call our type is actually a pattern we haven’t recognized yet. In this episode, Coach Ivy breaks down how to tell the difference between attraction and familiarity, and shares three signs your type may actually be a repeating relationship dynamic. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering: "How did I end up here again?" This episode will help you start seeing what might be happening underneath the connection. In this episode: • The difference between chemistry and familiarity • The 3 signs you may be in a dating pattern • Why smart women often miss patterns • Two simple shifts that help you start choosing differently If you want to better understand your own relationship pattern, you can start by taking the Relationship Pattern Quiz here: You can also join Coach Ivy’s live weekly Office Hours (linked here) conversations or explore a Pattern Insight Session (linked here). IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED You’re not alone. Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently. About the Podcast Better After Divorce is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and consciously choose what comes next. Because the better it gets… the better it gets. RESOURCES MENTIONED Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz Book a Pattern Breakthrough Session Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays @7PM EST) IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠ FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#35
March 13 · 30 min
Episode 35: Why Smart Women Repeat Dating Patterns
Many smart, self-aware women find themselves dating completely different men after divorce — only to realize the relationship dynamic feels strangely familiar. In this episode, Coach Ivy explains why this happens and how to recognize dating patterns earlier so you can make different choices. You’ll learn why what feels like chemistry is sometimes familiarity, how relationship dynamics form between two people, and the simple three-step shift that helps women stop repeating the past. If you’ve ever wondered “How did I end up here again?” this conversation will give you a new way to understand your dating experiences. IN THIS EPISODE WE COVER • Why different partners can still create the same relationship experience • The difference between chemistry and familiarity • How dating patterns form through relationship dynamics • Why slowing down helps you see patterns sooner • The Notice – Name – Choose framework for changing patterns • How self-awareness helps you choose partnership consciously KEY TAKEAWAYS Sometimes what we interpret as chemistry is actually pattern recognition. Patterns often live in the dynamic between two people, not just in one partner. Clarity comes from slowing down long enough to observe the relationship. Change happens when you: Notice the pattern → Name the dynamic → Choose differently. IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently. RESOURCES MENTIONED Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz Book an Archetype Breakthrough Session Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays @7PM EST) IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠ FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#34
January 6 · 21 min
Episode 34: Identity After an Ending
🎙️ Episode Summary / Show Notes If you’ve been feeling different lately — more discerning, less tolerant, unsure why things don’t fit the way they used to — this episode is for you. After an ending, many women assume something is wrong. But what’s actually happening is identity recalibration. In this episode, Coach Ivy explores why feeling different after an ending — divorce, a long chapter closing, or a major life shift — isn’t a problem to fix. It’s information. And more importantly, it’s wisdom. You’ll learn: Why high-achieving women feel identity shifts more intensely What changes in your nervous system after an ending Why motivation and advice don’t work during reinvention How archetypes reveal the inner wisdom that’s been guiding you all along Coach Ivy walks through the Lioness, Matriarch, Empath, Seeker, and Valkyrie archetypes — showing how each one responds after an ending not as a flaw, but as an intelligent adaptation. This episode isn’t about fixing yourself or rushing clarity. It’s about understanding who you are now — and trusting the wisdom that brought you here. 👉 Take the Archetype Quiz ✨ Go Deeper (Optional) For women seeking deeper clarity, Coach Ivy offers the Archetype Breakthrough Session, a personalized coaching session to understand how your archetype leads, heals, and wants to move forward now. 👉 Learn more about the Breakthrough Session If you want to talk it through before deciding, you can always book your Decision Call — a grounded conversation to confirm your next step, now, later, or not at all. 👉 Book your Decision Call Screen shot this episode and share your archetype or what shifted for you. IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠ FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce
#33
Dec 29, 2025 · 39 min
Episode 33: The In-Between: Why You Don’t Need a New Year to Begin Again
🎙️ EPISODE SUMMARY This episode isn’t a recap or a resolution. It’s a pause. In The In-Between, Coach Ivy explores the quiet space between survival and momentum — and why you don’t need to rush into the new year to begin again. If you’ve been holding everything together and feel resistant to pressure, this episode offers reassurance, orientation, and permission to move forward differently — from alignment, not urgency. In this episode, we cover: • Why the in-between phase can feel uncomfortable • The difference between rest and orientation • Why clarity can’t be forced after survival seasons • One gentle question to carry into the new year -------------------------------- REFLECTION: What feels true for me right now — without fixing it? -------------------------------- If this episode resonated, you may want to discover which Empowerment Archetype is guiding your next chapter. Take the 2-minute quiz to gain clarity on what’s shifting — and what’s calling you forward. ✨ Take the Empowerment Archetype Quiz ✨ Book your Archetype Breakthrough Session to go deeper. Your epic next chapter is closer than you think. Screen shot this episode and share your archetype! IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠ FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠ RESOURCES MENTIONED →Find Your Pattern — Download the Dating Pattern Guide →Want to go deeper — Schedule Your Pattern Breakthrough Sesson → Send your Red Light Green Light scenario to: coachivy@lifecoachivy.com — subject line: RLGL → Loving the show? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — I read every one, and yours might be featured on a future episode. CONNECT WITH COACH IVY Instagram: @coachivyallen Facebook: CoachIvy Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

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