Why Men Don't Talk About Divorce Pain with Garth Haslem
"Force demands fairness. Power prepares for reality. Force chases. Power disengages when engagement is useless." That's the framework Manalizing founder Garth Haslem uses to explain why so many marriages, divorces, and co-parenting relationships fall apart — and it's strikingly close to what we teach in our own Strategic Communication Course. In this raw, unscripted conversation, Lisa sits down with Garth to unpack the difference between force and power in relationships, why men are conditioned from childhood to stay silent about what's actually hurting them, and what happens when decades of suppressed emotion finally come out "in the wrong place, with the wrong people, at the wrong time." If you've ever wondered why your ex communicates the way they do, why the men in your life won't open up, or why your own attempts to "just talk it out" keep backfiring, this episode reframes the whole conversation. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: ✅ The difference between force and power — and why force always backfires in high-conflict situations ✅ Why men are taught from childhood that vulnerability is dangerous, and what that costs them (and their families) ✅ The "trash compactor" pattern: how suppressed emotions eventually explode at the wrong time ✅ What "divorce brain" is, how to recognize it in yourself or your ex, and why it's a form of force ✅ How internalized criticism turns into self-hatred — and sometimes into abusive behavior ✅ Why some men become the "ATM Dad" and how that dynamic damages marriages from the inside ✅ A real, vulnerable account of parental alienation from a father's perspective ✅ The structure of a Manalizing meeting: the declaration, the "one word" check-in, being heard, and being seen ✅ Concrete examples of force vs. power language you can apply to your own co-parenting communication ✅ Why "happy wife, happy life" can quietly become a form of coercive control when taken too far ✅ How isolation compounds a crisis — and why having even one person who will listen changes everything ABOUT GARTH HASLEM: Garth Haslem is the founder of Manalizing, a national peer support community that meets twice monthly by Zoom to give men a structured, confidential space to be heard, seen, and known — often for the first time in their adult lives. Garth built Manalizing out of his own hard-won experience: two marriages, a divorce he navigated with no one to turn to, and a relationship with one of his three daughters that remains estranged today. He speaks openly about his own struggles with meaninglessness, force, and control, and has adapted Dr. David Hawkins' "Power vs. Force" framework into a practical, everyday tool for men navigating conflict, divorce, and fatherhood. Garth is not a therapist — he is something rarer in this space: a man willing to go first.
