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Becoming You Again

Karin Nelson

Becoming You Again is the podcast for women who are going through divorce wanting help navigating grief, guilt, and the challenge of rediscovering who they are. Divorce Recovery Coach, Karin Nelson offers compassionate guidance, practical tools, and powerful mindset shifts to help you rebuild self-trust, reconnect with your intuition, and create emotional resilience. Each episode is a safe, supportive space that reminds you: divorce isn’t the end of your story; it’s the doorway to becoming the most authentic, confident version of yourself and creating the best of the rest of your life.

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#287
Yesterday · 57 min
Burn The Haystack Dating Method: An Interview with Jennie Young
You're ready to start dating after divorce. You join the dating apps, you start to read profiles and immediately feel lost. You start to question, is this normal? Is he for real? Maybe he's too good to be true? Or are they all like this? Then you start to question yourself instead. Maybe I'm being too picky. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I should give him a chance. Then you think, maybe I should just give up altogether... For the final episode of my dating, love, and intimacy series, I'm joined by Dr. Jennie Young, professor of rhetoric, creator of the Burned Haystack Dating Method, and author of Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter. Jennie studies how people reveal what they believe through the words they choose, usually without realizing it. She has turned that into an online Facebook community of over 295,000 women. If you're opening the dating apps for the first time since your divorce (or for the first time ever), this conversation is your field guide. In this episode: Why "burn the haystack" is the opposite of the "it's a numbers game" advice we've all been given Why instant, electric chemistry may be your nervous system registering fear, not love Why feeling nothing on a first date doesn't mean something's wrong Block to burn, and why you should treat dating like a job search Red-flag patterns to decode, including disciplinary directive (yes, even "let's grab coffee") and trad-wife code words The profiles that look good if you're coming out of a hard marriage: "my kids come first," "looking for my peace," and "the final piece of the puzzle," and what they're really saying How her method slows your intuition down enough that you can trust it Green flags, and real hope for finding love later in life To skip right to the interview go to 3:37 time code. Connect with Jennie Website: https://jennieyoung.com Substack: https://burnedhaystack.substack.com (everything is free to read) Instagram: @wordcasescenario Facebook: search "Burned Haystack Dating Method" and join the largest group. That's the real one. Get the book To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#286
September 21 · 22 min
You Are Allowed To Feel Good
“Good in bed” sounds flattering until you notice what it’s really measuring. We’ve all heard it used like a performance review: skilled, enthusiastic, attentive and focused on someone else’s experience. But what do we call a woman who is obviously having a great time, who is fully enjoying her own body? The fact that we don’t even have easy words for that says a lot about how women’s pleasure has been treated, especially when you’re dating after divorce and trying to trust yourself again. In this episode I dig into why wanting more can feel uncomfortable or even “wrong,” and how many of us learned to equate self-denial with being a good woman. I talk a little tiny bit of the science of female anatomy but more about the history of the science of the clitoris as this human body part was largely left unlabeled or omitted in major anatomy resources for decades, shaping what gets taught, studied, and prioritized. We also look at the orgasm gap and the research that points to scripts and habits, not “complicated bodies,” including what actually predicts orgasm for women. Finally, we talk about receiving. If compliments, help, or attention feel like something you have to repay, that pattern shows up in intimacy too. I share a simple permission practice you can start this week plus journal questions to help you reconnect with desire in a grounded, shame-free way. If this hits home, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review wherever you listen. Citations: Elise Loehnen, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (2023). https://www.eliseloehnen.com/blog/on-our-best-behavior Orgasm gap — Frederick, D. A., St John, H. K., Garcia, J. R., & Lloyd, E. A. (2018). "Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample." https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28213723/ O’Connell, H. E., Sanjeevan, K. V., & Hutson, J. M. (2005). "Anatomy of the Clitoris." Journal of Urology. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16145367/ Laurie Mintz, Becoming Cliterate - coined the popular framing of the "orgasm gap" . To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#285
September 14 · 22 min
Sex and Intimacy After Divorce
Nobody prepares you for the moment after divorce when dating turns into real physical intimacy and your body doesn’t know how to respond. The logistics get plenty of airtime, but the quiet fear of being touched again, not knowing what you like, or worrying you won’t feel anything at all can be just as intense. So we're talking about it in this episode. I dig into why women so often treat sex as something they provide instead of something they get to want. That people-pleasing pattern shows up as self-abandonment: staying quiet, focusing on someone else’s experience, and making your own pleasure optional. I also share a piece of U.S. history that explains why consent inside marriage is a much newer cultural expectation than most of us realize, and how that legacy can shape the way intimacy feels even years later. Then we move into the nervous-system side of post-divorce intimacy using the dual control model of sexual response, popularized by Emily Nagoski. Think accelerator and brake: desire rises when enough accelerators are on and enough brakes are off. After divorce, brakes like body image fears, stress, grief, finances, kids in the house, and distraction can keep you from feeling turned on even when you’re genuinely interested. I also talk about the myth of spontaneous desire, why “watching yourself” during sex shuts down sensation, and the questions that help you relearn what you like without treating intimacy like an audition. You’ll leave with a simple somatic practice to help you reclaim body ownership, consent, and presence before you share your body with anyone else. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a rating or review so more women can find this support. Listen to Ep 273: From Body Judgment to Body Neutrality: A Path Back to Yourself. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#284
September 7 · 25 min
Are You Ready To Date After Divorce
Everyone has a timeline for when a woman should date after divorce and it somehow manages to be both too long and not long enough. I’m done with the rules, because the truth is other people don’t live in your body, they don’t know your history, and they can’t feel what your nervous system is doing when you imagine putting yourself back out there. I'll talk about the history of where the rules of “waiting periods” come from, including the old-school roots of women being expected to publicly mourn and behave a certain way to stay socially acceptable. Those ideas never really disappeared, it just got rebranded as modern 'healing' advice. So if you’ve felt judged for dating “too soon” or “too late,” you’re not imagining that judgement but what's really going on is you're asking the wrong question. Instead, I give you three real readiness signals for dating after divorce. First, a body-based check. Second, a pattern check so you can catch people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and validation seeking before they drive your choices. Third, a “why” check with journaling prompts that reveal whether you’re dating to escape pain or because you genuinely like your reasons and feel stable in yourself. If you want a post-divorce dating plan that protects your boundaries, builds self-trust, and still leaves room for love, intimacy, and fun, hit play. Then subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more women can find the show. Make sure to stick around for this dating series where I'm also covering sex and intimacy after divorce, permission to experience pleasure as a woman and to cap it off an interview with Jennie Young, author of Burn The Haystack dating method. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#283
August 31 · 6 min
Nervous System Grounding After Divorce
Your mind might be ready to move on, but your body may still feel like it’s on high alert. We’re slowing down and doing something practical: a guided nervous system grounding exercise you can use anywhere, especially when divorce stress, co-parenting tension, or a sudden wave of anxiety pulls you out of yourself. I walk you through a simple sequence that helps you orient to the present moment. This kind of somatic practice is small but powerful. When you stop spinning in the past and stop worrying about the future, you create space for emotional regulation, clearer thinking, and self-trust. If you’ve been trying to “figure it out” in your head and still don’t feel safe in your body, this is a gentle way back to now. If you want deeper, lasting change, I also share how to work with me one-on-one. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a quick rating or review so more women can find these tools. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#282
August 24 · 23 min
Calm Co-Parenting With A High-Conflict Ex
In the last episode in The Ex-Files series I'm talking about what changes when you are co-parenting with a high-conflict ex where “communicate openly” and “be flexible” aren’t just unhelpful, they can actually set you up for more chaos. The goal becomes steadiness: keeping your nervous system regulated, keeping communication clean, and keeping your kids emotionally protected when they're with you. I break down parallel parenting as a useful baseline and then go deeper with tools that work when the other parent is inflammatory or controlling, including the BIFF method to help you take your power back in this co-parenting relationship. I'll then focus on the part that matters most: your children. Drawing on trauma-informed parenting insights and research on stress and brain development, you'll learn why transition days can feel so hard, why kids may act younger under chronic stress, and how to create an environment of safety through calm routines, predictability, and consistent one-on-one connection. If you want calmer co-parenting communication, stronger boundaries, and a steadier home for your kids, press play. Then subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more divorced moms can find real help. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#281
August 17 · 23 min
Emotional Detachment After Divorce 2.0
Your ex doesn’t have to change for you to feel steady again. If a late pickup, a snippy text, or a comment in front of the kids emotionally hijacks your entire day, it can feel like he still has a remote control to your emotional life even years after divorce. I'm talking about how to take that remote back for good, without becoming numb, cold, or pretending to be “fine” all the time. I redefine emotional detachment after divorce as a practice of keeping your side of the street clean: you manage your emotions and choices, and you stop trying to manage his. You’ll hear why negative emotions are not a problem, why detachment is not the same as letting things slide, and how you can care deeply about your kids and still stop needing your ex to show up a certain way for you to be okay. This is emotional freedom, not emotional shutdown. Then we get practical with tools you can use in the exact moment you’re activated. We break down the difference between a nervous system response and a normal emotional reaction, why thought work won’t help when you’re in fight flight freeze, and how grounding or somatic regulation brings your prefrontal cortex back online. After that, we use a powerful coaching concept called “the manual” to spot the hidden shoulds and expectations fueling your suffering and to decide what to do next, including boundaries that protect you without trying to control him. If you’re ready to stop spiraling, rebuild self-trust, and feel like yourself again after divorce, subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review where you listen. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#280
August 10 · 23 min
Healing After Betrayal: When Trust Was Broken
Betrayal during a marriage can make you question your own mind, your memories, and your ability to trust what’s right in front of you. If infidelity, lying, hiding, or a double life showed up in your marriage this episode can be your next step in your divorce healing journey. This is the second episode in the Ex-Files where I'm talking about why betrayal pain feels so different from “normal” breakup grief, and why your brain may keep reaching into the past to re-check old moments for clues. I share the validation so many women need to hear: being deceived is not evidence you’re naive, broken, or unlovable. I explain concepts like betrayal trauma and betrayal blindness, and how intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and sleepless nights can be a documented nervous system response, not a personal failure. From there, I get practical. I walk you through how to rebuild self-trust after betrayal by separating facts from the story your brain layers on top, grieving the reality you thought you were living in, and setting boundaries with rumination so you’re not trapped in the 2 a.m. timeline replay. You’ll also learn grounding tools you can use immediately and a simple approach to rebuilding confidence through small daily decisions that honor your intuition. If you’re ready to stop outsourcing closure and start coming home to yourself, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick rating or review so more women can find support when betrayal turns their world upside down. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#279
August 3 · 26 min
The Ex-Files Ep 1: When Your Ex Moves On
Your ex starts dating again and you're surprised by your reaction of finding yourself crying in the car, obsessing at night, or feeling that tight, panicky drop in your stomach. It can be so confusing especially when YOU DON'T EVEN WANT HIM BACK! In this first episode of my Ex-Files series I'm talking about what’s actually happening in your brain and nervous system when your ex “moves on” and why you can feel things without it meaning that there must be something wrong with you. I talk about all the stories that we carry with us like, he moved on so he won, she replaced me, and the one that I suffered from - I’m behind. You’ll leave with practical tools you can use any time you might be prone to have this kind of nervous system response including before drop-offs or family events, with social media, how to handle nosy questions, breaking up rumination and where to focus your attention moving forward. Make sure to check back next week for the next episode in the Ex-Files series where I go deeper with healing after betrayal. If this helped, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs steadiness, and leave a rating or review so more women can find this kind of post-divorce support. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#278
July 27 · 22 min
Why You Didn't Leave Sooner Makes Sense
“Why didn’t I leave sooner?” can feel like a realistic question but the most real thing about it is how full of shame and self judgement that question is. We turn hindsight into a weapon and put the past version of us on trial. I want to slow that moment down and offer a different path, one rooted in self-worth after divorce and real emotional resilience. I'll talk you through what’s actually underneath that question, the fear of “What’s wrong with me?” and why that belief is both untrue and unhelpful. I share how I coach women to widen the lens and find the real reasons staying made sense. Those reasons are not character flaws. They’re information, and they can be the start of post-divorce healing instead of another loop of self-criticism. Then we walk through the emotional stages that often come before leaving a marriage. I also offer a powerful reframe to practice right away so you can rebuild self-trust after divorce. If you’re ready for less shame and more grounded forward motion, press play, share this with a friend who needs it, and subscribe. If it helps, please leave a rating and review so more women can find this support. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#277
July 20 · 20 min
Be Audacious After Divorce
“I just don’t want to be miserable anymore” sounds reasonable after divorce, but it can also trap you in a life where you never really stretch yourself or create something really incredible after divorce. So in this episode I'm talking about audacity: the decision to want more, believe more, and build more, even when you don’t have proof yet and even when a small scared part of your brain says it’s safer to stay realistic. We dig into why so many divorcing and divorced women shrink their dreams after years of self-abandonment and survival mode, and how that “fine is good enough” mindset becomes the blueprint for what comes next. I unpack the fear behind big hopes, especially the fear of being wrong, being judged, or feeling humiliated, and I offer a reframe that changes everything. I also share a personal story from my own divorce and the audacious choice I made about co-parenting after betrayal, long before I had any evidence it would work. It wasn’t perfect, but it became possible because I kept moving from toward the vision instead letting my fears of it not working out hold me back. You’ll leave with a simple one-week practice to define an “unreasonable” desire for your post-divorce life and start showing up like that future is already in motion. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a rating or review so more women can find the support they deserve. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#276
July 13 · 21 min
Rebuilding Safety And Self Worth After Divorce
If you’ve ever caught yourself checking someone’s face, tone, or mood to decide whether you’re “okay,” you’re not overreacting and you’re not broken. In this episode I talk about the pattern behind that reflex and why it feels so intense during divorce and divorce recovery: emotional outsourcing, or the habit of sourcing safety, belonging, and self-worth from outside yourself instead of from within. I'll unpack how emotional outsourcing can masquerade as people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependency, and why those behaviors often make perfect sense when your nervous system has spent years in survival mode. I share how marriage can reinforce the cycle, especially when approval, emotional distance, or the silent treatment becomes the signal you use to measure your value. Then we look at why divorce can feel like the floor drops out, because the external “okayness” system disappears right when you need stability most. You’ll hear a simple self-assessment for safety, worth, and belonging, plus a small practice you can use immediately. We also talk about the goal of interdependence, building inner emotional safety and self-esteem while still creating real connection with others. If you’re ready to stop asking for permission to feel okay and start trusting yourself again, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a rating or review. What’s one place you notice yourself outsourcing your worth right now? To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#275
July 6 · 9 min
A Quick Somatic Tool For Divorce Stress
Your body isn’t “being dramatic” after divorce, it’s doing its best to protect you. When your nervous system gets stuck in fight-or-flight or shutdown, you can feel tense, numb, hyper-alert, or exhausted. I'll walk you through a simple somatic practice that helps you feel safe in your body again without overthinking your way out of stress. I teach pendulation, a nervous system regulation tool from Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing work. The idea is really simple: notice a place of discomfort in the body, then intentionally shift your attention to a place that feels more neutral or easy, and slowly move back and forth like a pendulum. You’re not trying to force calm, fix your feelings, or make tension disappear. You’re training your body to remember it can move between hard and easy, and that neither state has to take over forever. You’ll get a step-by-step guided process you can use in two minutes or ten, whether you’re dealing with divorce anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or that familiar sense of being stuck. If you want a practical, trauma-informed way to rebuild self-trust and resilience from the inside out, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs nervous system support, and leave a rating or review to help more women find the show. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#274
June 29 · 24 min
Perfectionist Fantasies After Divorce And How To Break Them
Perfectionist fantasies of what tomorrow will bring during divorce can feel useful - like we're moving toward something. Your brain whispers, “Once the decree is signed, once the schedule is set, once the kids adjust, once I heal, then I’ll finally feel calm.” But what if that promise is the very thing keeping you stuck? In this episode I dig into two sneaky patterns that show up during and after divorce: perfectionist fantasies and tomorrow thinking. Perfectionism doesn’t always look like striving or being “Type A” it often sounds like totally normal thoughts such as “I should have my life together by now” or “I’ll finally feel okay when everything is settled.” I talk about how those expectations can erase the real progress you’re already making, including the peaceful moments you don’t even notice because they don’t match the fantasy. I share a powerful coaching story from a client who expected instant relief, plus the deeper reason “imagining your future self” can feel so good while also fueling procrastination. I also connect the dots between perfectionism, fear of mistakes, harsh self-judgment, and why starting can feel unbearable even when you care deeply. You’ll leave with three tools to get out of the fantasy and back into your real life today. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s navigating divorce recovery, and leave a quick review so more women can find the support they need. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#273
June 22 · 25 min
From Body Judgment to Body Neutrality: A Path Back to Yourself
There's a moment after divorce when you realize at some point, someone new might see you naked can hit like a wave after divorce. If your first thought is I need to change my body before I’m allowed to date, be touched, or feel confident in myself, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. We’re getting honest about where that fear really comes from, and why it isn’t proof that your body is wrong. I take a look at how body image after divorce is shaped by messages you absorbed long before you had the critical thinking skills to question them. Beauty standards are not universal, and history makes that painfully clear: what’s been labeled “ideal” swings wildly across cultures and across decades. When the target keeps moving, chasing it can only keep you stuck in comparison, shame, and the feeling that your worth is conditional. I also touch on how the beauty industry is constantly moving the target to keep up the multibillion dollar industry it is, and to keep you constantly feeling not good enough. From there, we get practical. I share how radical body love can be the destination, while body neutrality is often the bridge, using factual language to calm judgment and rebuild trust with yourself. You’ll also get two powerful journaling questions to expose the permission you think a different body will grant you, plus concrete steps to feel safer in your skin, from reshaping your social media inputs to practicing being in your body instead of policing it. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick rating or review so more divorced women can find support. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#272
June 15 · 21 min
Four Lies That Keep Divorced Women Stuck
Your brain can turn divorce into a courtroom where every thought sounds like evidence and every feeling becomes a verdict. We’re slowing that whole process down and letting you know what’s really going on: cognitive distortions, or in other words, “brain lies” that spike divorce. I break down four patterns that show up for so many divorcing and divorced women: all or nothing thinking (I’m either winning or failing), mind reading (everyone definitely hates me), catastrophizing (one hard moment means my future is ruined), and “should” statements (I should be over this by now). I'll also share the real-life ways these distortions hit parenting, co-parenting, and self-trust, plus why your brain loves to collect “evidence” for a story it invented. Then I move into what to do when you catch yourself spiraling. Think less about perfection and more about being honest with what's true for you. If you want deeper support, I also share how one-on-one divorce coaching can help you implement these tools with weekly practice and guidance. Subscribe for more support, share this with a friend who’s in the thick of it, and please leave a rating or review so more women can find the show. What’s the biggest lie your brain tells you right now? To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#271
June 8 · 21 min
Finding Yourself After Self-Abandonment
That moment when you finally get quiet and realize you don’t know what you want anymore can feel terrifying and weirdly ordinary at the same time. Today I’m going to shine a light on what’s happening for so many women in unhappy marriages and in the aftermath of divorce: identity loss through self-abandonment, the slow, almost invisible disappearing act that can look like love while it quietly erases you. I'll talk about how this pattern builds over years through tiny decisions like deferring to his preferences and decisions, putting your needs at the bottom of the list, and learning to distrust your intuition. I connect the dots between cultural conditioning, the pressure to be the caretaker and emotional manager, and why so many women only initiate divorce after they’ve tried everything. Then we get practical. I walk through clear signs of emotional self-abandonment. And I finish the episode with five simple steps to rebuild self-trust. I also share my guide, 115 Ways to Get to Know You, if you want a fun place to start. If this resonates, subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more women can find the support they deserve. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#270
June 1 · 25 min
Escaping The Comparison Trap
Comparison after divorce can feel like a punch to the gut. One run-in with your ex, one hard kid drop-off, or one “perfect life” scroll on Instagram and suddenly your mind is building a case that you’re behind, broken, or failing. I’m Karin Nelson, a divorce coach, and I want to slow that moment down with you and show you what’s actually happening so you can stop treating the comparison as proof that there's something wrong with you. We start by naming the comparison trap and why it’s so common for divorcing and divorced women. Your brain is wired to compare for safety, and divorce flips so many parts of life at once that your mind goes into overdrive trying to restore certainty. The problem isn’t that you compare. The problem is the harsh meaning you pile on top of it and how your brain cherry-picks “evidence” to support the story you already fear. Then I give you five practical steps you can use the next time comparison shows up. I also talk about the standards you’ve been handed by culture, religion, and media and how freedom starts when you decide what happiness, success, and family mean for you now. If you’re ready to stop measuring your worth by someone else’s scoreboard, hit play, share this with a friend who needs it, and subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. After listening, will you leave a quick rating or review and tell me which step you’re trying first? To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#269
May 25 · 28 min
Rebuilding Self-Trust After Divorce
Divorce can turn even simple choices into second-guessing spirals. If you’ve been asking yourself, “Why can’t I trust my own judgment anymore?”, we’re going straight to the root: self-trust is the foundation for everything you do in your life moving forward after divorce; under every boundary, every parenting decision, every next step. When that foundation feels shaky, everything else feels wobbly too, no matter how good your lawyer is or how many spreadsheets you make. I dive into the history of where women began learning that we can't trust our own authority. For thousands of years, women have been trained to doubt their instincts and hand over authority to someone else, often a husband or partner. I talk about how that conditioning shows up in real life during divorce, how fear keeps us people pleasing and stuck in survival mode, and why courage isn’t “no fear” but choosing to trust yourself while fear rides in the passenger seat. Then we get practical with five steps to rebuild self-trust after divorce starting with getting present to reassure your nervous system you're safe and ending with giving yourself permission. If you’re ready to rebuild confidence, reconnect with your intuition, and make decisions from clarity instead of panic, press play. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs steadiness, and leave a quick review so more women can find this support. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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#268
May 18 · 9 min
Grounding In Under Two Minutes
Your mind may be ready to “move on” after divorce, but your body might still be living in survival mode. When divorce shakes your sense of stability, even ordinary moments can trigger a surge of stress that feels bigger than the situation. In this episode I’ll want to give you a reset you can use immediately, wherever you find yourself. I walk through a fast grounding technique designed to help your nervous system feel safe again. With this grounding technique you’re giving your brain and body a clear cue that you’re here, you’re present, and you’re not in danger. I also give a quick explanation to the “why” behind grounding, including how your system can react to perceived threats and why practices that reconnect you to your body can support healing after divorce. If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s rebuilding after divorce, and leave a rating or review so more women can find this support. To download your FREE "Becoming You Again Podcast Map" click here. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. Struggling after divorce to get to know yourself? Click here to grab my $7 guide to get started! If this podcast resonated with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts. ====================================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR EDUCATIONAL, INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND ARE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING PSYCHOLOGICAL, COUNSELING OR PROFESSIONAL HEALTHCARE ADVICE. =======================================
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