MusicMusic CommentaryExplicit

Beat Motel Zine

Andrew Culture

Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music's funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit!

Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we'll prove it to you. Warning, episodes contain creative profanities in the vein of The Thick of It.

Play

Open in

20 episodes
Avg 1 hr 11 min
English

Episodes 20

Newest Oldest Longest

All20 Unplayed20 In progress0 Played0

S1 · E169
Yesterday · 1 hr 16 min
Brian Eno - Musical Genius or Ambient Bore
Welcome back to another bout of semi-coherent audio chaos from Beat Motel. This week, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam sit down to tackle the bald, synth-twiddling enigma that is Brian Eno. Is he the high priest of sonic experimentation, or did he spend five decades convincing the music industry that ambient drone farts are high art? Along the way, the conversation violently derails into Suffolk nuclear fallout, trombone virgins, and why American airmen were the best thing to happen to rural British jukeboxes. What gets dragged through the dirt this episode: The Portsmouth Symphonia: What happens when total incompetence collides with maximum enthusiasm and a clarinet. Sizewell A: Growing up next to a nuclear reactor, swimming in warm cooling-water runoff, and accidentally punching jellyfish. American Air Force bases: How Bentwaters, Woodbridge, and Geno Washington saved teenage Brian Eno from a life of Lonnie Donegan. Devo passive aggression: Eno staying up all night recording lush synth pads, only for Devo to wake up early and silently delete the lot. The Great U2 Tackle: Eno getting so sick of guitar delay tweaks on The Joshua Tree that he tried to erase the 24-track tape, only to get rugby-tackled by an engineer carrying a tea tray. Turning down Anthony Kiedis: Why the Red Hot Chilli Peppers asked Eno to produce them eight times, and why he kept saying no. The 3.25-second payday: Composing the Windows 95 start sound on an Apple Mac after 84 attempts. Smuggling his own urine: Completing Marcel Duchamp's artistic loop in a London gallery. Studio perfume: Trying to formulate a scent that sits somewhere between fresh violets and two-stroke racing motorbikes. The Exit Exam: Sammyplops actually manages to remember things, despite Andrew's best efforts. Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/ SOURCES Woodbridge USAF Bases & Jukebox Culture: Brian Eno grew up near RAF Bentwaters and RAF Woodbridge, where American servicemen stocked local café jukeboxes with US rhythm & blues and doo-wop that had not yet reached British radio. Eno discussed this history with Iggy Pop on BBC Radio 6 Music.https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001dbbv Geno Washington Stationed at RAF Bentwaters: Before fronting the Ram Jam Band in London, soul singer Geno Washington was an active USAF airman stationed at RAF Bentwaters and RAF Woodbridge in the early 1960s.https://www.blackusaf.org/genowashington Ipswich Art School Cybernetics & "Anti-Personality" Experiments: At Ipswich Civic College (1964–1966), tutor Roy Ascott ran the experimental cybernetic "Groundcourse," placing students in dark rooms and assigning them an "anti-personality" to break creative habits—the direct conceptual foundation for Oblique Strategies.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Ascott The Portsmouth Sinfonia & The Clarinet: Gavin Bryars founded the orchestra in 1970 for complete non-musicians or musicians playing unfamiliar instruments; Eno played clarinet on their recordings and produced their 1974 release "Portsmouth Sinfonia Plays the Popular Classics." https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/jul/20/the-worlds-worst-orchestra-the-bizarre-story-of-the-portsmouth-sinfonia Devo Erasing Eno's Synthesizers (1978): While producing "Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!" at Conny Plank's studio in Germany, Eno secretly added synth layers overnight, and Devo snuck into the control room while he slept to erase them to preserve their dry, robotic guitar sound.https://www.soundonsound.com/techniques/classic-tracks-devo-are-we-not-men The U2 Master Tape Erase Incident (1986): Frustrated by weeks of stagnation during The Joshua Tree sessions for "Where the Streets Have No Name," Eno prepared to wipe the master tape to force a fresh start and was physically restrained by engineer Pat McCarthy.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where_the_Streets_Have_No_Name Rejecting the Red Hot Chili Peppers: Anthony Kiedis confirmed that the Red Hot Chili Peppers repeatedly approached Brian Eno to produce their records across their career (up to eight times), and Eno turned them down each time with polite handwritten letters.https://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2016/feb/19/david-bowie-dave-grohl-coldplay-10-things-turned-down Tape Loops Around Office Chairs (Music for Airports): To generate asynchronous, phasing ambient cycles without digital automation, Eno ran 30-foot loops of 1/4-inch magnetic tape around tubular aluminium office chairs positioned across Conny Plank's studio floor.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambient_1:_Music_for_Airports Windows 95 Startup Chime Created on an Apple Mac: Microsoft commissioned a 3.25-second chime matching 20 adjectives; Eno wrote 84 variations and composed the entire PC startup sequence using an Apple Macintosh.https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0110dmh Marcel Duchamp Urinal Urination Incident: In his 1995 diary "A Year with Swollen Appendices," Eno documented smuggling a vial of his own urine into the Museum of Modern Art to pour it onto Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" to protest it being displayed behind glass.https://greg.org/archive/2022/11/15/did-brian-eno-really-piss-in-duchamps-fountain.html James: The Double-Album Ambush (Laid and Wah Wah): In 1993 at Real World Studios, while tracking the pop record "Laid" in Studio A, Eno secretly ran improvised jam sessions in Studio B and assembled them into the ambient companion album "Wah Wah." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WahWah(album The Long Now 10,000-Year Clock Chimes: Commissioned by The Long Now Foundation, Eno engineered an algorithmic bell chime sequence designed to calculate a unique, non-repeating melody for every single day across 10 millennia (over 3.65 million variations).https://longnow.org/clock/ The Fragrance Lab ("Violets & Racing Motorbikes"): Eno keeps an aroma chemical library in his studio, treating scent notes like acoustic frequencies and pursuing scent pairings such as violet mixed with racing motorbike exhaust.https://noblerot.co.uk/post/brian-eno Richard O'Brien / Riff Raff Visual Gag: Richard O'Brien played Riff Raff in The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), featuring the balding dome, pale skin, and long bleached-blonde side hair that closely mirrors Eno's 1973–1974 glam look.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show
S1 · E168
September 30 · 1 hr 22 min· Video
Leadbelly
In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew hands over the reins to Dr. Sam for a deep dive into the legendary, prison-escaping, 6-string wielding titan that is Huddie "Leadbelly" Ledbetter . We wade through the chaotic history of his iconic 1940 RCA Victor sessions for The Midnight Special and Other Southern Prison Songs, explore how he basically invented modern pop, folk, skiffle, and rock music, and debate whether the neighbour's family in The Good Life made their money from slavery . Along the way, we hit the Portsmouth Sinfonia , the Lomax family's questionable white-saviour complex , Kurt Cobain's obsessed cover era , Bertolt Brecht's weird German poetry , and a Brazilian Jewish kids' cover of Pick a Bale of Cotton that nearly caused a heart attack in the editing suite . It is rough, informative, completely off the rails, and full of musical detritus. Put it in your ears. Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/
S1 · E167
September 14 · 1 hr 15 min· Video
How Mowtown made British Indie
Indie music didn't start in a damp Manchester rehearsal room with a bunch of miserable lads wearing oversized raincoats. It was pinched straight from Motown. In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam trace the line connecting Detroit's assembly lines, Peckham bedrooms, and sweaty, talcum-powdered floors in Wigan to show how Northern Soul accidentally birthed British indie, Britpop, and baggy culture. We cover: The Peckham militant who ran a Motown fan club, bought records for Paul McCartney, and told Mick Jagger to jog off. Why Barry Gordy tried to destroy every copy of a song that later sold for £100,000. How The Smiths, The Charlatans, and Soft Cell basically owe their entire careers to American soul B-sides. 7:50AM end-of-night rituals and the birth of UK music tribalism. Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/ CITATION LINKS Dave Godin, Northern Soul & His Legacy Dave Godin's Guardian obituary detailing his civil rights activism, founding the Tamla Motown Appreciation Society, coining "Northern Soul," and his ashes being scattered at Wigan Casino: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2004/oct/20/guardianobituaries.artsobituaries BFI documentation on Dave Godin and the history of the Northern Soul movement: https://www.bfi.org.uk/features/northern-soul-brief-history The Twisted Wheel & Manchester Soul History BBC archive detailing Manchester's Twisted Wheel as the original birthplace of Northern Soul: https://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/content/articles/2008/10/09/twisted_wheel_feature.shtml The official Manchester Digital Music Archive entries on The Twisted Wheel's history: https://www.mdmarchive.co.uk/venue/the-twisted-wheel The £100,000 Frank Wilson Record BBC News report on the history of Frank Wilson's "Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)" and its record-breaking auction sale: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-53603417 Wigan Casino & The "Three Before 12" Ritual The Guardian's retrospective on the Wigan Casino all-nighters and the 7:50 AM end-of-night ritual: https://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/sep/19/wigan-casino-northern-soul Andy Rourke, The Smiths & James Jamerson MusicRadar / Bass Player interview archive where Andy Rourke breaks down his Motown influences and James Jamerson's impact on his basslines: https://www.musicradar.com/news/bass/andy-rourke-on-the-smiths-basslines-gear-and-johnny-marr-611116 Soft Cell & Gloria Jones Official Charts history of Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" taking Gloria Jones' 1965 Northern Soul track to UK #1 in 1981: https://www.officialcharts.com/chart-news/flashback-1981-soft-cell-tainted-love__23725/ The Charlatans & Madchester's Soul Roots Tim Burgess interview discussing the soul and organ roots behind "The Only One I Know": https://www.clashmusic.com/features/in-conversation-tim-burgess/ Fatboy Slim & Just Brothers Sampling Bridge WhoSampled technical breakdown showing Norman Cook sampling Just Brothers' 1965 track "Sliced Tomatoes" for "The Rockafeller Skank": https://www.whosampled.com/sample/2015/Fatboy-Slim-The-Rockafeller-Skank-Just-Brothers-Sliced-Tomatoes/
S1 · E168
August 24 · 1 hr 10 min· Video
Pirates
So, what do you actually know about pirates ? Probably nothing, considering most of your historical knowledge comes from Johnny Depp, Disney rides, and an actor in the 1950s laying the West Country accent on way too thick . In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam derail the podcast train immediately to talk about DIY studio tape failures, prison etiquette, whether female pirates fought with their tits out, and how Henry Avery managed to nick £100 million before vanishing into thin air like a proper legend . They also dive into why keytars in metal bands are a crime against humanity, why accordions have no business being associated with 17th-century sea shanties, and the terrifying reality of a dirty butt plug left at an Ipswich bus stop . It's educational, it's completely unnecessary, and it's mostly accurate if you don't ask a real historian . Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/
S1 · E167
July 6 · 1 hr 41 min
The Small Faces - the most short-changed band in history
What do a 13-year-old Phil Collins, a violent music manager dangling people off balconies, and a psychedelic album packaged in a tobacco tin have in common? They are all part of the completely unhinged history of The Small Faces. In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Gimby (yes, he's back) dig into the story of Steve Marriott—arguably the greatest white soul singer the UK ever produced—and how his career peak might have actually been playing the Artful Dodger in 1960. We talk about Don Arden (Sharon Osbourne's notoriously terrifying dad), fixing the charts with mod networks, paying for suits with stolen royalties, and why putting an LP in a round tin is a structural disaster for record shop shelves. There's also some completely unnecessary sidetracks about Sting's real name, Rod Stewart's tight trousers, and a random bloke named Chris walking into the studio mid-record. Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/ YouTube Video Description The bizarre history of the 1960s mod scene and the absolute chaos behind the music industry. In this episode, we chart the rise and fall of The Small Faces, from their childhood theatrical roots to becoming rock icons—all while getting completely fleeced by their management. Discover how future stars like Phil Collins and Davy Jones are linked through a single West End musical, how chart-fixing actually worked in the 60s, and why Don Arden was known as the 'Al Capone of Pop' (hint: it involves dangling rival executives by their ankles from four floors up). 🚀 Binge more chaotic music chat here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWvEIcKhJxA&list=PLwnzX0gT6IrcZqrF2Xslb19NiBRgd9rj9 Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 The Best White Soul Voice in the UK 05:30 Steve Marriott, Phil Collins, and Oliver! 16:40 Davy Jones and The Beatles on Ed Sullivan 24:30 What Exactly is a Mod "Face"? 31:30 Meeting in a Music Bar & Rehearsing with Iron Maiden 44:00 Don Arden: The Al Capone of Pop 53:30 Ripped Off on Carnaby Street 58:30 The Balcony Incident (Ankle Tones) 01:08:00 Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake & The Round Tin Disaster 01:19:30 Enter Rod Stewart & The Faces 01:29:00 The Grim End of Steve Marriott 01:36:00 Gimby's Pop Quiz Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/ #smallfaces #stevemarriott #60smusic #modculture #rockhistory Citations Fact 1: Steve Marriott and Phil Collins both played the Artful Dodger in the West End production of Oliver! https://fishtailparkas.com/steve-marriott-the-immortal-artful-dodger/ https://www.discogs.com/release/5650375-Steve-Marriott-Ian-Carmichael-Joyce-Blair-David-Hovell-Mike-Sammes-Oliver-The-Original-1960-New-Thea https://hipquotient.com/from-artful-dodgers-to-artful-rockers/ https://www.jackwild.info/theatre-work/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artful_Dodger https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Collins https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0550203/ Fact 2: Davy Jones played the Artful Dodger in the West End and transferred to Broadway, appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show the same night as the Beatles https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-cast-staff/davy-jones-491918 https://broadway.fandom.com/wiki/Oliver! https://ovrtur.com/production/2883682/trivia https://www.masterworksbroadway.com/blog/oliver-is-golden/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consider_Yourself Fact 3: Seeing the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show inspired Davy Jones to pursue pop stardom https://theweek.com/articles/477499/davy-jones-19452012 https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2012/03/01/davy-jones-broadway http://www.meetthebeatlesforreal.com/2014/02/the-other-performers.html https://www.edsullivan.com/davy-jones-on-the-ed-sullivan-show/ https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/502986/monkees-singer-davy-jones-dead-at-66 Fact 4: Davy Jones received a Tony nomination (not a win) for Best Featured Actor for his Broadway debut in Oliver! (1963) https://www.broadway.com/buzz/160327/davy-jones-tony-nominee-and-member-of-the-monkees-dies-at-age-66/ https://www.biography.com/musicians/davy-jones https://www.britannica.com/biography/Davy-Jones-British-singer-and-actor https://playbill.com/article/davy-jones-member-of-the-monkees-and-a-tony-nominee-for-oliver-dead-at-66-com-187950 https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-cast-staff/davy-jones-491918 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Jones_(musician) Fact 5: Small Faces formation -- Marriott and Lane met at J60 Music Bar in 1965; the band name combined their physical stature with mod slang for a style leader https://rock.fandom.com/wiki/Small_Faces https://memories.fandom.com/wiki/Small_Faces https://www.goldminemag.com/articles/the-small-faces-story-was-just-one-chapter-for-the-band/ https://www.thesmallfaces.com/biography/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Faces https://www.psaudio.com/blogs/copper/about-faces-and-the-small-faces/ Fact 6: Steve Marriott's voice was a cited influence on Robert Plant, Paul Stanley, Ozzy Osbourne and others https://iconoclassicrecords.com/artist/steve-marriott/ https://www.alternativenation.net/paul-stanley-shocked-by-sxuality-of-robert-plant/ https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/the-rock-singer-robert-plant-said-that-was-too-good/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marriott_discography Fact 7: Don Arden, the Decca deal, and the exploitation of the Small Faces (including the Carnaby Street clothing accounts charged back against earnings) https://grokipedia.com/page/Don_Arden https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/don-arden-notorious-gangster-black-sabbath/ https://www.indiewire.com/news/general/r-i-p-don-arden-221732/ https://theelonetwork.weebly.com/the-don-arden-story.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Arden https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1563185/trivia/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Faces_(1967_album) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patterns_(Small_Faces_song) https://bestclassicbands.com/small-faces-lineup-8-6-16/ https://rockandrollogist.wordpress.com/2020/10/29/don-ardens-offices/ https://www.thelineofbestfit.com/features/interviews/small-faces-interview-85478 https://www.artgalleryclothing.co.uk/the-small-face/ https://drownedinsound.com/in_depth/4144640-the-best-dressed-band-in-england-dis-meets-kenney-jones-of-the-small-faces-amp-the-who Fact 8: Sharon Osbourne is Don Arden's daughter; Peter Grant learned the business under Arden before managing Led Zeppelin https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharon_Osbourne https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Arden https://www.loudersound.com/features/sharon-osbourne-i-got-f-cking-loud-because-i-needed-to-be-heard https://inthepitmanagement.wixsite.com/mysite/post/notable-artist-manager-relationships-led-zeppelin-peter-grant https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/warren-grant-interview-son-led-zeppelin-manager-peter-grant-documentary-7424097/ https://bravewords.com/news/legendary-led-zeppelin-manager-to-be-subject-of-new-documentary Fact 9: Robert Stigwood -- who he was and why the Arden incident matters https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Stigwood https://www.televisionacademy.com/bios/robert-stigwood https://grokipedia.com/page/Robert_Stigwood https://www.hypebot.com/legendary-manager-producer-robert-stigwood-passes/ https://alchetron.com/Robert-Stigwood Fact 10: Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake -- Stanley Unwin narration, the Spike Milligan near-miss, Unwinese origins, and the tobacco tin packaging https://ultimateclassicrock.com/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogdens'_Nut_Gone_Flake https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Music/OgdensNutGoneFlake https://www.loudersound.com/features/totally-gone-the-story-of-the-small-faces-psychedelic-masterpiece-ogdens-nut-gone-flake https://www.psychedelicbabymag.com/2014/02/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake-1968.html https://anorakthing.blogspot.com/2014/09/professor-stanley-unwins-uk-45.html https://www.loudersound.com/features/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake-cover https://www.thisdayinmusic.com/classic-albums/the-small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake/ Fact 11: Why Marriott left the Small Faces -- the Frampton tension, songwriting resentment, the unplayable album, the chart flop, and the financial mess https://www.mojo4music.com/articles/stories/why-the-small-faces-split-up/ https://www.thisdayinmusic.com/stairway-to-heaven/steve-marriott/ https://ultimateclassicrock.com/steve-marriott-leaves-small-faces/ https://whynow.co.uk/read/steve-marriott-small-faces-to-humble-pie https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/tragic-death-small-faces-steve-marriott/ Fact 12: The Faces rebrand -- dropping the "Small", the "Quite Melon" near-name, and the US "Small Faces" album mistake https://kenneyjones.com/music/the-faces/ https://www.theofficialfaces.com/biography/ https://americansongwriter.com/ronnie-wood-shares-the-story-of-how-he-and-rod-stewart-helped-form-the-faces-after-steve-marriott-quit-the-small-faces/ http://www.rocknrollspotlight.com/?p=529 https://www.bandsintown.com/a/15833-faces Fact 13: The death of Steve Marriott -- 20 April 1991, Arkesden, Essex; the timeline, the wrong-turn detail, and the broke-and-distrustful context https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marriott https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/tragic-death-small-faces-steve-marriott/ https://onlyrocknrollsite.wordpress.com/2016/04/21/the-tragic-death-of-steve-marriott/ https://www.upi.com/Archives/1991/04/20/Fire-kills-60s-pop-music-star-Steve-Marriott/3707672120000/ https://variety.com/1991/scene/people-news/steve-marriott-99126370/ https://www.deseret.com/1991/4/21/18916534/60s-pop-star-perishes-in-london-area-cottage-fire/ Fact 14: The Small Faces' influence on later British bands -- Weller/The Jam, Blur, Oasis, Ocean Colour Scene and the wider mod/Britpop lineage https://likefm.org/podcast/64794/paul-weller (Weller naming "Tin Soldier" on Desert Island Discs) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1418226.Here_Come_The_Nice (Weller's Small Faces songbook) https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/the-jam-influences/pl.8a3af71fe28946eba47d1194e339d6f2 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Universal_(Small_Faces_song) (Blur homage) https://secondhandsongs.com/performance/200144 (Marriott memorial "Tin Soldier" with Weller and Noel Gallagher) https://www.pressreader.com/uk/stirling-observer/20170929/282046212293990 (All or Nothing musical lineage) https://danielrachel.com/writings/ocean-colour-scene-moseley-shoals/ https://www.elsewhere.co.nz/absoluteelsewhere/3138/ocean-colour-scene-interviewed-1996-take-it-to-the-top/ (OCS covering "Song of a Baker") https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Riverboat_Song (the "Four Sticks" riff caveat)
S1 · E165
June 8 · 58 min· Video
Egyptian influence on music
Did the ancient Egyptians have B major, or were they just really into papyrus condoms? This week, Andrew and his resident logic-botherer Sam attempt to dissect the musical history of ancient Egypt, mostly concluding that three thousand years of history can't quite be summed up by Bruce Dickinson or an overly loud 90s metal kick drum. Expect a completely uncalled-for bass-tuning intermission, a deep dive into why the 'Woke Police' banned The Bangles after 9/11, and the shocking revelation that ancient Greek war music sounds a bit too much like an Offspring track. We also listen to some genuine electronic pioneer madness involving barking dogs and celestial shapes, plus a bit of Coptic embalming music that sounds exactly like a knife going into some pharaoh's guts. It's educational, it's chaotic, and Andrew actually learns what a pentatonic scale is (sort of).
S1 · E165
May 11 · 1 hr 30 min
Echo and the Bunnymen: Blinding the Audience for Art
In a desperate bid to look like we know what we are talking about, we have overhauled the format. This week, Andrew drags a bewildered Dr. Sam through 1980s Liverpool to discuss why a three time Oscar winner spent his youth hiding in a camouflage suit. We are diving deep into: The Scouse Trinity: Exploring the "Crucial Three". Julian Cope's Fear of the Floor: Why he performed on step ladders because he felt the floor was too dangerous. The Mysterious Drum Machine: The story behind the machine they called "Echo". The Big Lie: How they admitted the drum machine story was just a way to mess with journalists. "Caramelised Hair": The era of sugar-styling that attracted swarms of flies and smelled like a burnt bakery. The Cosmic Gateway: The time Bill Drummond decided a manhole cover in Matthew Street was a cosmic gateway to Iceland. It is peak 80s chaos, involving more sugar and camouflage netting than a primary school bake sale in a war zone. Suggested Listening "The Killing Moon": The one Ian McCulloch insists was written by God, though it is actually the intro to Space Oddity played backwards. "The Cutter": The band at the absolute peak of their 80s powers. "People Are Strange": The Joel Schumacher and Lost Boys payday produced by Ray Manzarek of The Doors. "Over the Wall": A masterpiece from their very dark, silhouette-heavy period. "Brussels is Haunted": The sound of the band in 2026, because they are still at it.
S1 · E164
April 27 · 1 hr 4 min
Viking influence on music
Viking metal is a sad parody of music. Or at least, that's how Andrew starts this episode before Sam drags him through a hedge of historical facts. In a bold new format where one of us actually prepares and the other just reacts with increasing confusion, Dr. Sam (our resident academic-lite) guides us through the reality of Viking influence on music. We cover why Wagner is responsible for the horn-helmet lie, why Led Zeppelin is basically a Viking recruitment brochure, and why the Harp Twins might be the most terrifying thing we've ever watched. We also learn that real Vikings probably sounded less like growling Swedes and more like barking dogs. If you've ever wanted to know about Viking divorce laws, fossilized worms, or why the Finns freaked everyone out, this is the rambling mess you've been waiting for.
S1 · E163
April 13 · 1 hr 3 min
Foreign music
Show Notes Right, here we go. In this episode, Andrew and Dr. Sam tackle 'Foreign Music'—which is basically just a fancy way of saying 'songs where we don't understand the words'. We kick things off with an enormous tube of lube and some fizzy water that's apparently trying to destroy Andrew's teeth. The lads dive into the archives to discuss why the British are so terrified of music that isn't in English, the mystery of Joe Strummer's 'garbled nonsense' Spanish on 'Should I Stay or Should I Go', and the revelation that Plastic Bertrand was basically a French Milli Vanilli on a trampoline. Dr. Sam tries to bring some 'academic' weight to the proceedings by reading high-brow philosophy about repetition, while Andrew just wants to talk about Nena's bass player and why subscription underpants are a recipe for disaster. Expect tangents on Star Trek moral codes, stealing cars you can't drive, and the universal truth that everyone eventually gets 'yogurt chucked up' at them. Riffs of the Week Dr Sam's Riff: Elvin Jones - 'The Prime Element' Andrew's Riff: Rebekah - 'Synthetic Collapse' Dr Sam's Track Choices The Clash - 'Should I Stay or Should I Go' Magma - 'Hortz fur dehn stekehn west' Pixvae - 'La Fuga' Mc Solaar - 'Qui seme le vent recolte le tempo' Andrew's Track Choices Plastic Bertrand - 'Ca plane pour moi' Blur - 'To the End (La Comedie)' Serge Gainsbourg - 'Bonnie and Clyde' Nena - '99 Luftballons' Email us: beatmotel@lawsie.com
S1 · E162
March 30 · 1 hr 19 min
Interwar music (world war one and two)
Look, we tried to have a sophisticated chat about interwar music (the stuff between the two big global scraps) but obviously, it devolved into a conversation about penis tattoos and whether or not Reddit is a valid academic source. Dr. Sam brings the "knowledge" (mostly from books he is actually holding, for once), and Andrew tries to figure out how to eat a Scotch egg without a plate while pondering the sexual deviance of 1920s novelty songs. We cover Duke Ellington's Mood Indigo, the absolute filth hidden in "I'm Going to Bring a Watermelon to My Girl Tonight," and why Robert Johnson might have just practiced really hard instead of selling his soul to the devil. It is a rambling journey through jazz, folk, and German Marxist theatre that somehow ends with Woody Allen and a two-fingered guitarist. Riffs of the week Dr Sam's Riff Dog Faced Hermans - Jan 9 Andrew's Riff Witch Post - Worry Angel Dr Sam's track choices Duke Ellington - Mood Indigo Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - I'm Gonna Bring a Watermelon to My Girl Tonight Brecht - Instead-Of Song Harlem Hamfats - Let's Get Drunk and Truck Andrew's track choices Laurel and Hardy - Trail of the lonesome pine Robert Johnson - Crossroad blues Woodie Guthrie - This Land Is Your Land (1940) Django Reinhardt & Stephane Grappelli - Minor Swing Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com
S1 · E161
March 16 · 1 hr 17 min
Beat Motel Episode 161 Ego-death indulgent Spectacular Special
This is it. The big one. Episode 161. A milestone nobody asked for and even fewer likely wanted. It's the "Ego-death indulgent Spectacular Special," which is basically a fancy way of saying Andrew and Dr. Sam have finally disappeared up their own backsides to look at the wreckage of the last 160 episodes. Expect a lot of self-congratulatory stats, clips of the pair sounding like absolute melts, and the usual technical failures that have become the show's unintended trademark. We've got deep dives into why Queen is discussed more than played, the actual number of times we've mentioned bodily functions (spoiler: it's lower than you'd think, which is disappointing), and a look back at the time Mike Watt told us he hated Zoom. It's a retrospective of chaos, bad decisions, and the occasional riff. Sam's Riff of the Week The Messthetics & James Brandon Lewis – Deface The Currency Andrew's Riff of the Week LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER – Eins, Zwei, Drei The Ego-Death Deep Dive: A History of Bad Decisions Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Intro: We started with a lie. In Episode 1, Andrew promised a 20-minute show, but it ran to 55 minutes. Sam's original review: "Andrew, this was supposed to be 20 minutes". Cee Lo Green – FUCK YOU: Setting the tone early. Episode 1 ended with Andrew attempting professionalism while Sam signed off with a heartfelt "Fuck you all". Metallica – Fuel: It took us 63 episodes to finally deliver on the Metallica special we promised in week one. The Replacements – Here Comes a Regular: We predicted we'd be "irregular". We then accidentally published for 96 consecutive weeks without missing a single one. The Minutemen – Corona: Revisiting our favourite intro, the moment Mike Watt joined the Zoom call and immediately shouted, "Fuck those people". The Stone Roses – Tell Me: Statistically our most played artist with 14 appearances over the journey. Queen – Stone Cold Crazy: Our most discussed band (mentioned 26 times) that we almost never actually play. The Hall of Fame: Dumb Bits & Chaos The Christian Vulvas: A band name suggestion that almost killed us with laughter. Thighs Wide Open: Walking into the technological dystopia with our "eyes fucking wide open," or something like that. 10 Pence Pieces: The failed monetization strategy involving skin insertion. Testicle Weather Vanes: A foolproof way to predict a tornado or an earthquake based on swinging. Ruddiger Broomhilder's Unripe Plums: The AI-assisted tale of a stomach-ache staging a revolution. Love vs. Death vs. Poo PIL – This Is Not A Love Song: The stats are in. We prefer death (29 songs) over love (19 songs). Phil Collins 3 – Pooey Stick: Despite the scatological humor, "poo" has only appeared 11 times in the transcripts. The Numbers That Tell the Story Stat Number Total episodes 167 (including trailer) Total hours of content 136.1 Total tracks identified 1,044 Unique artists 706 Artists played only once 560 (79%) Sam's track picks 354 Guest picks 166 Longest publishing streak 96 weeks Average episode length 65 minutes Love songs / Death songs 19 / 29 Horse references 13 Toilet / Poo references 12 / 11 Unused backlog ideas 74 Original zine issues 10 Watch more Beat Motel chaos here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWvEIcKhJxA&list=PLwnzX0gT6IrcZqrF2Xslb19NiBRgd9rj9
S1 · E160
March 9 · 1 hr 2 min
Great Bass lines of our time with Tom Klute (a.k.a Tommy Stupid)
In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by Tom Klute, a man who has spent 25 years running the Commercial Suicide label and presumably even longer trying to figure out how to stop CDRs from rotting into useless plastic coasters. The pair embark on a quest to identify the 'Great Basslines of Our Time', a journey that takes them from the bowel-ripping valve amps of the 70s to the distorted sub-bass of 90s jungle. Along the way, they discuss why buying a headless bass is a cry for help, the terror of music trackers, and the peculiar joy of being a 'cool dad' who gives his son massive 70s speakers only to realise his lounge ceiling is now a vibrating drum skin. Expect tangents on why the Smokey and the Bandit remake in Suffolk failed, the mystery of delaminating discs, and why the Sugarhill Gang might be absolute fibbers. It's an hour of gear talk, punk history, and bass-heavy nostalgia that'll make your trousers wobble. Riffs of the week Tom's Riff Kenny Loggins - Footloose Andrew's Riff Fucked Up - Crusades Tom's track choices Stranglers - Toiler On The Sea Roni Size - Share the Fall (Grooverider's Jeep Mix) Discharge - Ain't No Feeble Bastard Chic - Good Times LFO - LFO Andrew's track choices Fu Manchu - Grendel Snowman Blur - Popscene Venetian Snares - Öngyilkos Vasárnap Gravediggaz - 6 Feet Deep NOFX - The Decline
S1 · E159
March 2 · 1 hr 7 min
Normal lineup, weird noises
Look, we've all been there. You go to a gig at a university campus that looks like a concrete fever dream from A Clockwork Orange, you feel ancient because the students are all drinking a gallon of water from Stanley cups instead of proper ale, and then you have to question your own bowel integrity because someone in the crowd is weaponising their flatulence. This week, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive into the "Normal Lineup, Weird Noises" theme—basically, what happens when a standard rock band decides to make sounds that shouldn't exist. We've got Jerskin Fendrix (aka Jocelyn Dent Pooley, the man with a name like a removal firm heir), the sonic separation of Big Business, and the avant-garde chaos of Deerhoof. Also: Why do people heckle sensitive jazz drummers? Is every Ukrainian black metal band actually staffed by archaeologists? And why does Paul Westerberg spend the start of a Replacements track sounding like he's hoovering up a pharmacy floor? It's music, it's chaos, and it's probably the only podcast that mentions both Agathee Christie and the "Pissed Resistance" in the same breath. Riffs of the Week Dr. Sam's Riff Jerskin Fendrix – Jerskin Fendrix Freestyle Andrew's Riff The Callous Daoboys – Distracted by The Mona Lisa Dr. Sam's Track Choices Big Business – Cats, Mice Deerhoof – The Perfect Me Victims Family – The Germ Adam and the Ants – The Day I Met God Andrew's Track Choices Caroline Polachek – Dang Everything Everything – Cough Cough The Charlatans – I Can't Even Be Bothered 1914 – 1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl) Email us: beatmotel@lawsie.com
S1 · E158
February 23 · 1 hr 11 min
Influential albums that sold naff all copies
In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam attempt to justify their existence as middle-aged men with a music podcast by discussing the "sheer fucking arrogance" of music journalism. Between reenacting being a hydroelectric dam and discussing the logistics of dressing up like a facade of the Pentagon, they actually manage to talk about some records. Expect a deep dive into the dry drum sounds of early Faith No More, the naive charm of The Fall, and the surprising revelation that Hanoi Rocks basically invented Guns N' Roses. We also learn about the "poo sick" (don't ask) and why being 5'11" and 11/12ths is a legitimate personality trait. It's 70 minutes of your life you aren't getting back, but at least you'll know which bass pedals make you sound like a Moog. ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Big Business - The Moor You Know #### Andrew's Riff - Baroness - The Birthing ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Faith No More - As The Worm Turns 2. The Lookouts - I Saw Her Standing There 3. The Damned - New Rose 4. Hanoi Rocks - Tooting Bec Wrecked ### Andrew's track choices 1. The Fall - Rebellious Jukebox 2. Television - Marquee Moon 3. The Kinks - Villiage Green Preservation Society 4. The Velvet Underground - Sister Ray Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com The Fall episode - https://beatmotel.com/podcast-episodes/revisiting-the-fall-with-mark-beaumont-thomas/
S1 · E157
February 16 · 1 hr 2 min
Autumn
In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam tackle the high-brow topic of Autumn, which mostly involves Sam moaning about how grey Finland is and Andrew recounting the time he kicked a pile of dog muck while trying to be whimsical. We also dive deep into the world of Roy Orbison, specifically his secret life as a competitive remote-control car enthusiast and how he basically wore the same pair of filthy glasses for 25 years. Andrew finally sees the Rocky Horror Picture Show and is traumatised by middle-aged men in stockings, Sam tries to find a version of 'Autumn Leaves' that doesn't taste like high-fructose corn syrup, and we discuss why the Beatles were basically ancient by the time they hit 30. There's also some talk about Jeff Lynne (obviously), stealing cheese from Blur, and why you should never go to an all-you-can-eat buffet if you value your self-respect. ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Roy Orbison - (All I Can Do Is) Dream You #### Andrew's Riff - Rocky Horror Picture Show - Sweet Transvestite ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Nat King Cole - Autumn Leaves 2. Cannonball Adderley - Autumn Leaves 3. Roger Williams - Autumn Leaves 4. Edith Piaf - Les Feuilles Mortes ### Andrew's track choices 1. Guns n Roses - November Rain 2. Autumn Almanac - The Kinks 3. Crowded House - Fall at your feet 4. Forever Autumn - Justin Hayward and Jeff Wayne Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com
S1 · E156
February 9 · 1 hr
Great music, uncomfortable lyrics
In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam attempt to discuss "Great Songs with Questionable Lyrics" but mostly end up talking about accidental calls to the emergency services and the thermal advantages of having an itchy jumper for a face. We dive into the grottier side of grindcore with Edinburgh's CHOU, wonder why Wolf Alice has a drummer singing in a thicket, and Dr. Sam tries to justify why he once owned a Limp Bizkit record. Also featuring: Slade being sued for sounding like a brickyard, Jimmy Page "borrowing" songs again, and why you should never store your Lego boxes in a greenhouse. It's less of a music podcast and more of a documented descent into madness. Riffs of the week Dr Sam's Riff CHOU - Vulnerable Blether Andrew's Riff Wolf Alice - White Horses Dr Sam's track choices Slade - Let's Call It Quits Limp Bizkit - Counterfeit Public Enemy - Sophisticated Bitch Cannibal Corpse - I Cum Blood Andrew's track choices Led Zeppelin - Babe I'm gonna leave you Steve Miller Band - The Joker Sonic Youth - Kool Thing Suede - Stay Together Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com
S1 · E155
February 2 · 1 hr
Beefy Smells and Bad Riffs: The Water Episode
In what can only be described as a new low for the Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into a theme so thin you can practically see through it: Water. What starts with Jackie Chan karate-chopping peanut packets somehow devolves into a harrowing discussion about men who refuse to wipe their backsides because it's "too gay," and the pungent aroma of a father's "beefy" morning ritual. Musically, we're forced to endure everything from Janet Jackson's "Moist" (a song that makes everyone's knees feel funny for the wrong reasons) to a Deep Purple video featuring a pilgrim on a Mad Max vehicle. We also touch on why Jimmy Carr is the Nigel Farage of comedy, the baffling rise of J-Pop sensation Ado, and why Weezer's Rivers Cuomo looks like he's constantly checking his watch for an exit strategy. It's damp, it's irreverent, and it's probably best listened to while weeping into a Victoria sponge. ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Ado - Kura Kura #### Andrew's Riff - Zatokrev, Bolzer, Schammasch - Red Storm ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. TLC - Waterfalls 2. Aerosmith - Cryin' 3. Janet Jackson - Moist 4. Joan Armatrading - Water with Wine ### Andrew's track choices 1. The Stone Roses - Waterfall 2. Nirvana - Territorial Pissings 3. Deep Purple - Smoke on the water 4. Weezer - Africa Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com Here's that Deep Purple video: https://youtu.be/Q2FzZSBD5LE?si=7lmp39n-ZpcOQPnn
S1 · E154
January 26 · 1 hr 7 min
Citric Dummies Drew Special (not quite an interview)
We've got Drew Ailes (aka David Lunch, aka Egg Norton) from Minneapolis punk outfit Citric Dummies. We spend a suspicious amount of time talking about the horrors of SEO and marketing because, apparently, being a punk doesn't pay for the artisanal bread anymore. Drew explains how his background in "mucking about with systems" on the internet led to a career in corporate consulting, and why having a drummer who is actually a musical genius is the only reason the band hasn't folded in on itself. Expect tangents on the "blokey-bloke" culture of Oasis, the mystery of what on earth Arby's is, and why John Peel is the patron saint of record nerds. We also touch on the lighthearted topic of the political chaos in Minneapolis and ICE agents eating at the very Mexican restaurants they're supposed to be patrolling. You know, the usual cheery stuff. Drew Citric Dummie's track choices 1. Red Dons - Hard Feelings 2. Pinchers - Tonight 3. Sado Nation - Mom and pop democracy 4. Chipmonks Sludgefest - Diamond Dolls 5. Harry Chapin - W.O.L.D Dr Sam's track choices 1. Citric Dummies - Being Male is Embarrassing 2. Citric Dummies - I Can't Relate 3. Citric Dummies - Look Out World (I'm Eatin' At Arby's) 4. Citric Dummies - Life is so Horrifying
S1 · E153
January 19 · 1 hr 7 min
Fast music for slow times
We're back, and frankly, if you've stuck around this long, you only have yourself to blame. After our first-ever break, Andrew and Dr. Sam return to discuss why cats don't actually like dope beats, despite what Aaliyah told us in 2000, and why fireworks and techno are a bad mix for pets. In this episode, we dive into the legendary Eric B. & Rakim, Japanese garage rock icons Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, and the "emotional grindcore" of Swarrrm. There's also a deeply unnecessary deep dive into The Queers' lyrical nuances from 1999 and a story about a band that split up because the singer decided to use the drummer as a urinal. We also explore why boredom is actually quite fast, the joy of "institutional Finnish pasta", and why Beat Motel is effectively just a sticking plaster on the gaping wound of your personal issues. Riffs of the Week Dr Sam's Riff Thee Michelle Gun Elephant - "The Birdmen" Andrew's Riff Blood Incantation - "The Stargate [Tablet 3]" Dr Sam's Track Choices 88 Fingers Louie - "Newspaper" Swarrrm - "13" The Queers - "No Tit" HIRS - "Public Service Announcement" Andrew's Track Choices System of a Down - "Chic 'N' Stu" Buzzcocks - "Boredom" Sub Focus and Grimes - "Entwined" The Bluetones - "Fast Boy" Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com Gabba dancing: https://youtu.be/FUD-HExh9ow?si=Kaq8OykylcVEUosL
S1 · E152
Dec 22, 2025 · 1 hr 12 min
Mike Watt on The Stooges, The Minutemen, and Why Bass is Actually a Drum
If you've ever wondered why some bassists look like they're having a conversation with a ghost or why your favorite punk record sounds like it was recorded in a cupboard, Mike Watt is here to explain it all. We sat down with the Minutemen and Stooges legend to talk about everything from the physics of why playing too many notes makes you "smaller" to the absolute bigotry drummers face in the industry. Watt walks us through his "third opera," why he wrote an entire album on a Telecaster instead of a bass just to spite himself, and how he ended up playing with the Stooges for 125 months. We also get into the weeds on the early Hollywood punk scene, the "autonomy" of major labels (or lack thereof), and why the internet is basically just a tool for collaborating with people in Peru. It's rambling, it's philosophical, and it's probably the most intellectual we've ever been on this show. Don't get used to it.

Showing 1–20 of 20 episodes